Sunday, July 08, 2007

Meet The Press on NBC - July 8, 2007

Meet The Press on NBC - July 8, 2007
Guest Host: David Gregory
Guests: Sen. Chuck Hagel, Eugene Robinson, Todd Purdum, Ann Kornblut, David Brooks

NotRussert: 518 troops have been killed since The Surge began and Bush is moving the goalposts what's up

Chuck Hagel: the violence is totally uncontrollable and we're stuck in the middle of a civil war

Gregory: wow

Hagel: there is no military solution - we have to make a political effort

Gregory: but dood we haven't killed enough people yet!

Hagel: that’s true but violence begats violence i read that in a fortune cookie once

Gregory: how is the Iraqi government

Hagel: the Maliki government is in the crapper

Gregory: no one is showing up for Cabinet meetings and the Sunnis are boycotting

Hagel: we can't control uncontrollables

Gregory: a-ha

Hagel: look dood the republicans are fleeing this war so I have to tell you that now really its over

Gregory: so sad

Hagel: also our military is coming to a crashing halt everyone knows it but Prime Minister Stupid in Chief

Gregory: hey i know that dood

Hagel: time to put the hammer down!

Greogry: but we can’t just leave - I haven’t won a Pulitzer yet

Hagel: we still have a role to play - for instance we've been undermining our interests in the Middle East, we could keep doing that but in a safe way

Gregory: sounds good to me

Hagel: we took our eye off the ball which is extremism

Gregory: support a timeline to withdraw?

Hagel: we need a phased withdraw

Gregroy: set our phasers on stun?

Hagel: dood if we don't pull out now we will be in big deep hole

Gregory: leave iraq yes or no

Hagel: it can't be the Dirty Hippie Withdrawal it has to be Withdrawal + Plus Killing

Gregory: oh good I’d hate to do it right

Hagel: Bush is a idiot who rejected Baker - Hamilton you see it's a Safe Harbor for Senators to hide behind why Bush did not seize on it I have no idea

Gregory: he's a moron?

Hagel: uh yeah - look I talked to career military officers and they say it will take a full generation to recover from the disastrous Bush presidency

Gregory: age of aquarius dood

Hagel: we don't wins hearts and minds by killing people and weakening our military

Gregory: but if we leave it will be a mess in Iraq

Hagel: what the fuck dood are you high it's a fucking mess right now who the fuck are we kidding

Gregory: the Joe Lieberman Weekly sez you turned against Vietnam because of all the lies

Hagel: Edifice of Distortion

Greogry: dood that would make a great name for a rock group

Hagel: yes it was all a pack of lies and stupid decisions - we all know that the problem is people don't trust the President and he is done

Gregory: are you saying Bush is an untrustworthy fucker

Hagel: no i simply believe that he is certifiably insane

Gregory: oh ok

Hagel: he has 90 days to prove that he is not a mass murderer call it the Hagel Dialectic

Gregory: do you believe Bush luvs killing

Hagel: Bush sayz he's the Decider or some such nonsense but we can cut off the money or frankly resort to impeachment

Gregory: would you impeach

Hagel: not today but then i haven't got any articles right in front of me - hint hint

Gregory: 90 days?

Hagel: Bush must surrender to non-morons on Capitol Hill or we will introduce him to little thing called fucking reality

Gregory: dood you held a press conference to announce you might run for President but were not at that time then u had dinner with Mayor Bloomberg what's up

Hagel: i will decide in the next 60 days call it the Hagelberg Unit

Gregory: r u independent

Hagel: [ twiddles thumbs looks at ceiling ]

Gregory: dood yur so coy

Hagel: hey u never know god knows the Republican party is teh suck

Gregory: what will happen in 60 dayz

Hagel: i have to find out if people hate me or luv me or know who the hell i am

Gregory: yur like a smart version of john McCain

Hagel: heh what a fucking idiot he is

Gregory: will u endorse someone

Hagel: i may vote for Joe Biden or Chris Dodd

Gregory: dood c'mon!!

Hagel: i know it's sad but look the people think the country is on the wrong track so i would luv to run as independent by my problem is just how do you get 270 electoral votes

Gregory: u could just cheat like George Bush

[ break ]

Gregory: scooter libby pardon yes or no

Hagel: totally wrong the Founders did not want Presidents to engage in selective justice just when you thought Bush couldn't sink any lower there he goes

Gregory: David Brooks you wrote the stupidest column in human history this week are mentally ill, on drugs, or are you just a complete fucker??

David Brooks: well Libby’s career was ruined and his reputation was shot, so really isn't that enough he is a white man after all

Todd Purdum: worst decision ever now every person convicted of the same crime can also not go to jail jesus christ

Eugene Robinson: Libby's only supporters were Beltway reporters who luv outing CIA agents

Gregory: was Libby blackmailing Bush?

Robinson: David Brooks is a moron -- the judge, jury, DOJ, prosecutor were all Republicans the only politics was the commutation itself

Gregory: ok let's spend the rest of the panel bashing Hillary and The Cleins!!!!!!!

Panel: we luv it!

Gregory: Ha ha so fun Marc Rich Marc Rich Marc Rich Marc Rich!!!!!!

Kornblut: omg i had kittenz when she mentioned “justice” Hillary had several people murdered and Clinton pardoned Osama Bin Laden i mean me and the other reporters were like wow

David Brooks: the bottom line is whether yur a liberal or conservative the truth is nothing is illegal inside the Beltway

Gregory: Kinsley made a interesting point which is perjury is okay if you're defending an illegal war

Eugene Robinson: well that's very cute i wonder what fucking planet are you all from it's the call the jury system -- should we not have that anymore because the black community would love to hear that

Brooks: because Republicans lied about this that means everyone was dishonest

Gregory: wow how do you figure

Brooks: prosecutors should not prosecute people its crazy

Gregory: what’s the Bill Factor

Kornblut: they tried to diminish Bill Clinton’s glamour they dressed him like Ward Cleaver

Greogry: but that didn't work because we all want him back as President

Purdum: are we really ready for another 8 years of peace and prosperity - i mean she's just like Bush except not

Gregory: Obama is black and white it's crazy!!!

Robinson: Obama doesn't have enough experience being married to a President who had sex with an intern behind his back leading him to move to a strange state and run for the Senate

Brooks: Obama never takes the cheap shot in debates its hurting him

Gregory: McCain is running the suckiest campaign ever

Purdum: he's not trying to pander to people anymore he still supports the war

Gregory: he had no more money

Purudm: last year he had a private jet and last week he was seen in Row 29 of a coach

Gregory: on a commercial airline wow?

Purdum: no Greyhound dood

Brooks: look the Republican party is falling apart everyone hates them

Gregory: Fred Thompson you know Tweety Matthews luvs him

Robinson: he's just a stupid fad

Purdum: Republicans have to sink really low and get pragmatic to have a chance in 2008

Gregory: so sad

Purdum: you got the cross dresser, the nutjob, the mormon,

Kornblut: the people are enthused for the Democrats heck even Chris Dodd

Gregory: david brooks tell us about Iraq

Brooks: in September they will announce they have won in Baghdad and flee for their lives

Robinson: yeah bush will withdraw from Iraq also hell will freeze over and bloggers will fly out of my ass

Purdum: Bush is in mental collapse

Gregory: What is Bush’s deal is he crazy

Kornblut: Bush believes he is on a mission from God

Gregory: we’re all doomed and out of time

1 comment:

Nick said...

Hagel: it can't be the Dirty Hippie Withdrawal it has to be Withdrawal + Plus Killing