Sunday, July 27, 2014

Meet The Press – July 27, 2014

Richard Engel
Kevin Tibbles
Benjamin Netanyahu – PM of Israel
Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY)
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Amos Harel
Chris Gunness – United Nations
Kelly O'Donnell
Ted Cruz (R-TX)
Nia-Malika Henderson
Judy Woodruff
Ruth Marcus
David Brooks

Gregory: good morning – breaking news
there is more fighting in Gaza
and Israel – ok I guess that's not
really breaking news

Engel: good morning David –
I was just in Gaza and its most
crowded neighborhood has
been reduced to rubble

Gregory: wow

Engel: this is not a precision war
it's punishment

Gregory: what are the Palestinians saying

Engel: some people are mad
at Hamas but others was
Hamas to bomb Israel in revenge

Gregory: what else

Engel: Gaza is fenced in and
Hamas wants the blockade lifted

Harel: for Hamas victory will be
to survive while Israel has to
take out every single rocket

Engel: Israel wants to take
out all the tunnels and rockets

Harel: both sides would like a way out

Engel: Israel says it can't accept
rockets fired at its cities while
Palestinians point to whole
neighborhoods destroyed

[ break ]

Gregory: good morning Bibi
what's happening there?

Netanyahu: Hamas wants us 
to kill civilians

Gregory: they do

Netanyahu: we will do whatever
we have to do protect ourselves

Gregory: and what is that

Netanyahu: Gaza must be have
no more weapons or terror tunnels

Gregory: okay

Netanyahu: that will allow us
to lift the blockade we have on Gaza

Gregory: oh that's good

Netanyahu: Hamas could use cement
or crayons to re-build the terror tunnels

Gregory: I never thought of that

Netanyahu: same thing with money
we can't let Palestinians have any
money unless we can supervise
them so they won't use it for bad things

Gregory: Israel bombed a UN school
even though you got the GPS
coordinates – did you ask
'Siri should I bomb this UN School?'

Netanyahu: that was Hamas' fault 
because they love dead bodies

Gregory: what about the UN school?

Netanyahu: that UN school was 
a legitimate target

Gregory: it was?

Netanyahu: yes maybe it Hamas 
that bombed that school

Gregory: wait which is it

Netanyahu: Hamas loves people
being killed but we hate it

Gregory: do you ever worry
you are killing too many civilians

Netanyahu: yes it makes us
very sad but every civilian
we kill is Hamas' fault

Gregory: I think I follow

Netanyahu: if we give Hamas goodies
for making us kill children that would be bad

Gregory: how do you ultimately win this fight?

Netanyahu: work with the Palestinian
Authority and destroy Hamas

Gregory: can you destroy Hamas?

Netanyahu: I don't want to give away
any secrets but hell yes we can

Gregory: tell me more

Netanyahu: if America was attacked
by rockets you would flatten that
country so we will do the same to Gaza

Gregory: good luck Bibi

[ break ]

Gregory: welcome sir -- have any 
other UN locations been it during 
this conflict? been hit?

Gunness: yes 10 minutes ago

Gregory: you're kidding

Gunness: no the UN compound
in Gaza was bombed a few minutes ago

Gregory: Bibi just told me UN 
locations are legitimate targets

Gunness: we did find rockets in
a mothballed UNRWA location

Gregory: a ha

Gunness: the UN is here trying
to protect civilians

Gregory: please comment on
this new grainy video you can't
see Israel says proves rockets
are being fired from UN schools

Gunness: you're ridiculous and unfair

Gregory: I've heard that

Gunness: I'm not going to
comment on a video I can't see

Gregory: well we can't verify
the video anyway

Gunness: look we're a neutral
organization flying a blue flag
trying to save lives

Gregory: so you say

Gunness: we spent hours begging
Israel not to kill civilians and
they told us to drop dead

Gregory: well good luck

[ break ]

Gregory: Good morning Chuck
should Israel do anything differently?

Schumer: no because Hamas
cannot be allowed to have
any rockets or tunnels

Gregory: okay

Schumer: Hamas even believes it
has the right to use military force

Gregory: that's amazing

Schumer: there will be a lasting
peace when Hamas is crushed

Gregory: I see

Schumer: then the Palestinian
people will elect moderate
pro-Israel leaders

Gregory: what about the
evacuation of the embassy in Libya?

Schumer: the fighting was not
aimed at the embassy – it was
two groups fighting each other

Gregory: what a relief

Schumer: frankly I'm skeptical
of the ability of the US to make
people in the Middle East and Africa
do exactly what we want them to do
all the time

Gregory: you just blew my mind

Gregory: is Europe appeasing Putin?

Schumer: yes – Putin is a schoolyard bully

Gregory: tell me more

Schumer: I learned in Brooklyn
when you stand up to a bully
they immediately back down

Gregory: I love it

Schumer: we should tell Europe
to stop being like Neville Chamberlain
in 1938 and appeasing Putin and
get tough with Putin

Gregory: what would you suggest?

Schumer: we should get tough with Putin
take away the World Cup

Gregory: that's it?

Schumer: everyone loves soccer Fluffy

Gregory: thanks for coming Chuck

[ break ]

Gregory: welcome Paul Ryan

Ryan: Hi Fluffy

Gregory: Congress is going
on vacation without doing
anything all year

Ryan: hey we passed 300 bills
but the Senate gives the
Usurper a free hand

Gregory: what is you opinion of 
these of little immigrant children

Ryan: we need to repeal the
law that gives them a hearing
it's outrageous

Gregory: you voted for that law

Ryan: I never meant for it to
be applied to these horrid children

Gregory: Congress gets getting
nothing done while veterans languish

Ryan: that's the Senate's fault

Gregory: you want to let states take
over federal anti poverty programs

Ryan: yes – they know what's best

Gregory: but some states won't
even expand Medicaid and that's free money

Ryan: we need to customize poverty
programs depending on the poor
person's specific pathology

Gregory: maybe we could do
the same with bank bailouts

Ryan: the best way to get people
out of poverty is to customize benefits

Gregory: you say we created
a dependency culture –
do you think poor people are lazy?

Ryan: oh no I love poor people

Gregory: you do?

Ryan: yes all those helpless
stupid poor people

Gregory: I see

Ryan: government discourages work
which is why people don't work
hard like people in Congress do

Gregory: thanks for coming Ryan

Ryan: thanks Gregory

[ break ]

Gregory: OMG the New York Times
called for legalizing the mary jane!!

Brooks: what are they smoking up there!

Marcus: they didn't inhale!

Gregory: ha ha 20 year old jokes are the best

Brooks: I don't endorse the pot 
what with all the kids and their 
tie-dyed shirts and the hippy dippynes

Gregory: well put David

Brooks: also kids should not
spend all their time getting high
and jumping out of windows
thinking they fly and all that stuff

Gregory: makes sense to me

Brooks: but I could be wrong

Marcus: forget pot – why is alcohol legal?!?

Gregory: good question

Marcus: pot causes you
to lose lose 8 IQ points

Gregory: I don't think our 
viewers can afford that

Marcus: so the whole panel agrees 
- we're all against pot and 
alcohol and for war

Gregory: well we're all conservatives here

Woodruff: what's the rush – get it 'rush'

Panel: ha ha ha

Brooks: I realize we have a culture
where people pursue happiness
and all that nonsense but I just
think government should be small 
and limited to making all your 
choices for you in everyday life

Gregory: panel the world is going
to hell and I'm concerned America
can't control the planet

Panel: oh definitely

Gregory: you heard Chuck Schumer
say America can't even win a 
war against Russia!

Marcus: we must not withdraw from the world!

Gregory: Obama is weak!

Talking Parrot: Obama weak!

Gregory: good point TP

Brooks: America kept the peace for
40 years by fighting wars every
five years and now we don't fight
little wars and the world is is in chaos

Henderson: oh for god's sake
the U.S. never made Russia
bend to its will

O'Donnell: why does nothing ever
get done in the Senate?

Cruz: because Harry Reid won't let
me cut taxes and eliminate the EPA

Gregory: Harry Reid is like Dikembe
Mutumbo – no no no

Marcus: that's chutzpah –
he's the one who had all-night
filibuster to block a law everyone
knew would pass

Gregory: both sides are to blame

Brooks: I blame the stupid American
people for not reading my column more

Woodruff: Congress has accomplished
nothing all year and now are going on vacation

Gregory: members of Congress
are rewarded for screwing veterans

Henderson: can you run for office
saying 'I will get nothing done'?

[ break ]

Gregory: OMG Obamacare is doomed!

Gregory: Vermont is turning socialist
Kevin has the story

Tibbles: Vermont is going to giving
everyone free health care

Citizen: it's crazy!

Tibbles: is Canada infecting
Vermont with its wild ideas
about universal health care?

Citizen: damn right – Canada
is right over there!
[ points 10 feet away ]

Citizen: I am frightened – it will
bankrupt the state and everyone
will move out of Vermont if they
offer free health care

Citizen: it's a little scary but
I think it's worth trying

Citizen: if politics gets in the
way it would be bad

[ break ]

Gregory: update – the UN disputes
the video we showed earlier

Gregory: panel is America about to legalize pot?

Brooks: maybe but public
drunkeness is now frowned up

Gregory: true in Washington you're
supposed to get drunk in private

Gregory: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – July 27, 2014

Jon Karl
Martha Raddatz
Terry Moran
David Kerely
Jim Avila
Gen. James Cartwright
Frederic Wehrey – Fmr Libya Attache
Steve Ganyard
Fran Townshend
Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX)
Rep. Henry Cuellar (D-TX)

Karl: holy shit America shut
down an embassy in Libya

Moran: in case things weren't
bad enough in the world
Libya is in totally chaos

Moran: it was a precision panicked
evacuation with drones and ships
and jet fighters and segways

Karl: wow

Moran: the Ambassador was
tweeting that there shots being fired
outside her window

Karl: #thatdoesntsoundgood

Moran: there's another
issue here as well

Karl: Benghazi?

Moran: Benghazi

Karl: Benghazi!

Moran: US officials fled Tripoli in
a 150 mile race to safety in Tunisia

Karl: gosh

Moran: the U.S. embassy in
Tripoli is empty and unguarded
go to town radicals!

Karl: how bad do things have
to be where you abandon an embassy

Cartwright: pretty fucking bad

Karl: I imagine

Cartwright: there were 80 marines
and a few civilians left anyway

Karl: oh well no harm done

Cartwright: they shuttered the
embassy with the intent to return

Karl: did they burn the
files like in the movie Argo?

Wehrey: they e-mailed all
their files to themselves

Karl: clever but exactly how
does one evacuate an embassy?

Cartwright: very carefully – but there
was only a skeleton crew 
by the time they left

Karl: but the airport was being
shot at so they couldn't fly out

Cartwright: right so they drove
the whole way – what could be
more American than a road trip

Karl: is al-qaeda on the run or 
is it increasing exponentially?

Cartwright: it's franchising with
substandard products and
seductive marketing

Karl: it's the McDonalds of terror groups

Cartwright: except it kills fewer people

Karl: of course

[ break ]

Raddatz: how do train to
evacuate an embassy?

Expert: hesitation kills!

Raddatz: this fake embassy
attack is fucking terrifying

Expert: it's meant to be Martha

Raddatz: you took the American flags
as you fled in terror

Expert: these colors don't run!

[ break ]

Karl: panel there have been
a lot of plane crashes lately

Kerley: a plane was shot down
in Ukraine so of course lawmakers
are panicking

Ganyand: calm down –
flying is perfectly safe

Kerley: should American planes
have missile defense?

Rep. Steve Israel: terrorists have
lots of shoulder-launched rockets!

NRA: the only thing that stops a
good guy with a rocket launcher
is a good guy with a rocket launcher

Curley: missile defense would
cost a million dollars per plane

Nance: or we could just not fly over war zones

Kerley: but the whole world is scary!

Ganyard: you would have to fly once
per day every day for 4 million
years to die in a plane crash

Karl: facts have a non-panic bias

Ganyard: but why was Malaysia Air
flying over Ukraine?

Karl: to be fair a missile defense system
wouldn't have even helped MH 17

Ganyard: right – but not
being there would have helped

Karl: hey whatever what
happened to MH 370 – was it aliens?

Ganyard: in this day and age we
should not lose an entire plane

Karl: we have this image of terrorists
shooting down planes all over
America just for the fun of it

Townshend: we don't need
missile defense – we need to
stop flying over terror zones

Karl: you think Obama should
not have stopped planes in Tel Aviv

Townshend: it was ridiculous –
it send a signal to the bad guys
that we're scared of their rockets

Karl: but we are scared

Townshend: Obama overreacted to a threat

Karl: also he under-reacted to Benghazi

Townshend: Benghazi!!

Karl: I'm terrified of terrorists

Townshend: you should be
they're everywhere

Karl: although most plane
crashes are weather-related

Ganyard: that's right – weather
kills far more plane passengers
than terrorists do

Karl: agggghhhhhh!!!!!

[ break ]

Avila: most of the new immigrants
are children and female

Rick Perry: call out the National Guard!!

Avila: the Guard can't actually do anything

Karl: don't knock the Guard

Avila: also the number of
immigrants is actually down

Karl: problem solved

Avila: this is a humanitarian crisis
which Congress is being asked to
end before they take a month long vacation

Karl: good luck with that

[ break ]

Karl: Congressman is this
crisis of small children coming
to America finally over?

Cuellar: maybe or it might be
too hot to come to immigrate right now

Karl: you're going on a 5 week
vacation without doing anything

Cornyn: hey we deserve it –
it's hard doing nothing

Karl: I'm sure

Cornyn: we might get some
money to help these kids

Karl: why don't Democrats want
to repeal the Bush law that
caused this problem?

Cuellar: some do

Karl: Pelosi and Reid don't

Cuellar: 42,000 kids have
showed up in my neighborhood!

Karl: what about screening kids
in their home countries?

Cornyn: criminals are exploiting the Bush law!

Karl: well I'm rooting for you

Producer: you said that out loud Jon

Karl: I did?