Sen.
Diane Feinstein (D-CA)
Rep.
Mike Rogers (R-MI)
Sen.
Lindsay Graham (R-SC)
Rep.
Raul Labrador (R-ID)
John
Podesta
Andrea
Mitchell
Tom
Friedman
Mike
Murphy
******************************
Gregory:
good morning panel –
Obama
fled to Asia under fire
for
allowing Petraeus to have an extra-marital affair!
Mitchell:
how could Obama let this
happen
to such a hero?
Friedman:
Hamas wants help from the
muslim
brotherhood in Egypt,
Israel
is afraid of missiles,
and
Syria and Iran are loving it
Gregory:
Obama is in bang cock
Mitchell:
that's actually Bangkok Fluffy
Gregory:
oh right
Obama:
Israel has a right to defend itself!
Mitchell:
the wonderful Arab Spring led
to
this violence because we no longer have
a
reliable leader we can bribe to be nice Israel
Gregory:
there's democracy for you
Gregory:
let's talk about the most important
thing
ever – whether the government sufficiently
described
an attack as 'terrorism'
or
'just one of those things'
Rogers:
it's a semiotic scandal
Feinstein:
Petraeus called it terrorism the
next
day but Rice followed the CIA talking points
so
she is being pilloried for no reason
Rogers:
look our job in Congress is to look
as
if we are doing something this and gain
political
advantage however we can
Gregory:
of course
Rogers:
we must investigate what happened
but
I can tell you without investigating that
the
CIA is good and the White House is bad
Gregory:
right
Gregory:
Rice said the investigation
is
ongoing – is that so terrible?
Rogers:
yes – without snap judgments
how
can ever know what we don't think
Gregory:
the White House should
feel
intelligence at you
Rogers:
exactly
Gregory:
why didn't Rice call it terrorism?
Feinstein:
because she could only talk about non-secret things
Gregory:
why not call it terrorism –
who
are we protecting??
Rogers:
it's a cover up!!
Feinstein:
we should not have talking
points
by committee
Gregory:
is this a cover-up!?! What is Rice hiding?!?
Mike
Rogers: you should go easy
on
those accusations Fluffy
Gregory:
who cares about facts?! We have to get Obama!
Feinstein:
easy there fluffers
Gregory:
did people die because Rice lied?!
Feinstein:
what the hell are you talking about?!
Gregory:
people were killed!!
Rogers:
I agree with David Gregory
that
Obama had our people murdered
Feinstein:
improvements were made to the Annex!
Gregory:
that's pretty arcane Diane
Feinstein:
we should have had better
security
in Bengazi
Gregory:
no shit
Gregory:
Diane like you I was madly
in
love with David Petraeus
Feinstein:
my heart is broken over his affair
-
did you know he could speak intelligently
on
more than one subject
Greg:
wow I've never met anyone like that
Feinstein:
when a General loses his
car
and driver and has to wash his
own
dishes it's only natural that he
would
have sex with a hot temptress
Gregory:
are you saying all this could
have
been prevented with a Maytag?
Rogers:
this was a cyber threat!
Gregory:
how so?
Rogers:
no one in the CIA can ever
have
a private e-mail account –
otherwise
they could be blackmailed
by
having private thoughts
Gregory:
let's get to what's really important -
how
can I use this to make Obama look bad?
Rogers:
was Obama informed about the
state
of Petraeus sex life before election day?
Gregory:
[ excitedly hops up and down in his seat ]
OMG
OMG this it – WE GOT OBAMA!!
Rogers:
calm down Fluffy I didn't say that
Gregory:
but this is so exciting –
this
could be Obama's Benghazi!!
Feinstein:
chill out Fluffy
Gregory:
you guys are no fun –
I
bet Linsday will help me get Obama
[
break ]
Gregory:
Obama is a terrible President –
how do you answer this charge?!
how do you answer this charge?!
Graham:
I agree – Obama failed to destroy
al
qeada and then covered it up
Gregory:
you believe Obama lied to the
American
people about terrorism to win reelection
Graham:
no I think he sent Susan Rice out
because
she is black and will do whatever he says
Gregory:
that makes perfect sense
Graham:
Obama is always bragging about
how
great he is doing against terrorism
well
it turns out terrorism STILL EXISTS
which
is a huge watergate-style scandal
Gregory:
oh my god you blew my mind
Graham:
we must have a special
investigationand a movie starring
Jason Robards as John McCain
investigationand a movie starring
Jason Robards as John McCain
Gregory:
who would play you?
Graham:
either Brad Pitt or Chaz Bono
Gregory:
how do answer the charge
that
Obama engaged in a cover up
three
weeks before the election?
Graham:
Obama chose a story line
that
made him look really good because
failure
to prevent a major terror attack
always
makes a President look bad which
is
why I endorsed John Kerry in 2004
Gregory:
your logic is impeccable
Graham:
I blame the President for
creating
a deathtrap and not
responding
to pleas for help for 8 hours
Gregory:
can Rice be confirmed as
Secretary of State?
Secretary of State?
Graham:
I am very disappointed in her
telling
a story that al qaeda was dismantled
when
it was only mostly dismantled
Gregory:
how do you answer the charge that
Obama
caused Petraeus to have an
extra martial affair
extra martial affair
Graham:
that's going a bit far don't you think
Gregory:
I want to bash Obama more
than
you do - it's head spinning!!
Graham:
well Fluffy you are even weirder
than
me – and I didn't think that was possible
Gregory:
Romney says Obama only won
because
he gave poor, brown, black, latino,
hispanic,
asian, gay and young people free gifts
Graham:
Obama is a terrible President and
poor
people are welfare cheats but we
should
try harder to create jobs and not
just
attack lazy ignorant voters
Gregory:
well I think we've covered it all
– thanks
for coming
[
break ]
Gregory:
so panel - BEGNHAZI!! BENGHAZI!!!
Mitchell:
Mike Rogers made an outrageous
unfounded
accusation - this will raise many
questions
about whether Obama should
resign
because of Petraeus' sex life
Gregory:
it seems like Diane Feinstein
is
worried that Petreaus should not
have
been made to wash dishes
Gregory:
all these attack on Petraeus are so sad
Podesta:
indeed – I would also point out to
Andrea
Mitchell that Mike Rogers had
zero
evidence for his accusation
Michell:
who cares – it's out there!
Labrador:
Rice lied on Meet The Press –
this
is impeachable!
Gregory:
this debate will continue! Forever!
Greg:
Tom Friedman – Benghazi - go!!!
Friedman:
Petreaus saved Iraq for America
and
then wrecked Afghanistan
Greg:
1 out of 2 is high for a batting average
Friedman:
Libya is not a scandal –
it's
a success story!
Gregory:
you are ruining the narrative –
let's
talk about something else
Greg:
Mitt Romney says Obama won
because
of gifts to poor and brown people
Murphy:
Romney deserves a pass for the
stupid
stuff he says because he's a dumb white guy
Gregory:
that's true
Murphy:
the GOP doesn't have a bad strategy
– it
has bad ideas
Labrador:
conservativism didn't fail –
Romney
failed conservatism!
Gregory:
please continue
Labrador:
I didn't become a conservative
to
defend wealthy people and the
richest
corporations – it just kind of happened
Murphy:
it's not just Mitt Romney –
the
problem is our insane base and also
Rush
Limbaugh isn't helping either
Labrador:
that big spending liberal
Reagan
betrayed us all!
Mitchell:
Boehner must get massive
spending
cuts or his party will revolt
Friedman:
or we could not embrace
and
austerity and actually grow the economy
Gregory:
that's crazy talk
Podesta:
we could rebuild our century-old
bridges
and cut our fancy health care costs
Gregory:
does everyone really need health care anyway?
Labrador:
nah
Gregory:
Abraham Lincoln didn't need
anti-depressants
– for therapy he just
freed
the slaves and went to the theater
Mitchell:
that worked out great for everyone
Gregory:
and that's another episode
of Meet The Press
of Meet The Press
*********************************
