Chuck Schumer: (D-NY)
Lindsey Graham (R-SC)
Bob Shrum
Jon Meachem
Doris Goodwin
Mike Murphy
*************************
Gregory: Chuck AT&T proved this week that
I was right all along - people are going to lose
their insurance!
Schumer: No that’s a lie - just like death panels
and killing grandma
Gregory: Lindsey how do answer the charge
that Republicans were right?
Graham: that’s a good tough question Gregory - Democrats are eliminating Medicare, student loans, and AT&T will have stop delivering the great customer service they are known for - it’s Armeygeddon!
Gregory: so will you repeal the law?
Graham: yes we will force the Democrats to
double funding for Medicare
Schumer: ha - oh noes!
Graham: states will have empty referendums
on this bill!
Gregory: Chuck this bill costs $93 billion a year!
Schumer: that’s not very much Fluffy
Gregory: how do you answer the charge that this bill cuts the deficit but doesn’t cut it enough
Schumer: if we did nothing it would be
worse bubblehead
Gregory: the CBO, the Concord Coalition and
Count von Count from Sesame Street all say this will cut the debt - but how can that possibly be true when you cover millions of people?
Schumer: I heard you were a moron
Graham: I heard that too!
Schumer: from me
Schumer: Look Dancin’ Dave in the long run this
will cut a trillion dollars from the debt
Gregory: Chuck the middle class Americans are terrified that you will take away their health care and give it to an undeserving poor brown person
Schumer: well they’ve been fed a bunch of
bullshit for a year
Gregory: I have no idea how that could that happen in our intrepid media environment
Graham: this is a giant Ponzi scheme - this will
cut doctors!
Schumer: Good - there are a lot of crappy doctors out there x-raying people for money
Gregory: interesting
Schumer: we will discipline Doctors!
Graham: No Republican voted for this because
the CBO is full of liars!
Gregory: that’s a recent development I take it
Graham: you pay for health care with insurance payments - it’s a house of cards!
Gregory: fascinating
Graham: he’s an out-of-control leftist - he’s helped General Motors, fixed student loans and given people insurance - the GOP will not lets this
Marxist abomination stand!
Gregory: doesn’t calling Obama a Totalitarian lead to people cutting gas lines to Congressmen’s house?
Graham: well some people think it’s justified when he governs from the left ditch but you shouldn’t use the n-word
Gregory: Chuck have opponents gone
too far?
Schumer: ‘Have they’? What are you fucking nuts?? Yes Fluffy with attempted murder they have gone
too far
Graham: Democrats have poisoned the well by giving people health insurance without admitting Obama is a Kenyan Witch Doctor
Schumer: I disagree - we can have bipartisanship
on admitting only the right and good people into this country
Gregory: how do I know it’s a good idea?
Schumer: Lou Dobbs and Bill O’Reilly support it
Gregory: wow!
Graham: Recess appointments are a tool of the devil
Schumer: blow me
Graham: ok Chuck
[ break ]
Gregory: health care is a big fucking deal!
Shrum: Teddy knew it would happen
Gregory: Do we put Obama Mt. Rushmore now?
Meacham: this changes the narrative that we
talk about
Gregory: oh I see
Meacham: it also proves pundits are largely stupid
Gregory: so sad
Meacham: it’s also possible cutting gas lines and attempted murder is an overreaction to giving people health insurance
Murphy: this bill couldn’t pass a hypothetical non-existent GOP Congress
Gregory: wow
Gregory: years ago people attacked Social Security with epithets
Goodwin: a win like this emboldens a President
and a party
Gregory: but people hate this bill
Goodwin: you have to win public sentiment
Gregory: what can we learn from Obama’s failures?
Shrum: he made a lot of mistakes - but you know maybe the guy isn’t so dumb after all
Murphy: this is was a total failure of leadership - just like on Star Trek - you can’t get ahead of public opinion - you have to lead
Gregory: I want the drugs you’re on
Gregory: there’s the substance and the perception
Goodwin: we know what you care about Fluffy
Meachem: it’s terrible when John Lewis can’t walk across Capitol Hill without being spit on
Gregory: maybe the tea baggers just have bad allergies
Meachem: the tea baggers have the passion but the Progressives got this bill enacted
Goodwin: white people are terrified that black people are getting something
Gregory: the Democrats are doomed by antagonizing uneducated racists
Shrum: for god’s sake this is Mitt Romney’s bill
Murphy: no no it isn’t
Gregory: I feel something is being taken away
from me
Murphy: people hate labor but we need an agenda beyond ‘look - a black man in the white house!’
Gregory: has the Tea Party taken over the GOP?
Meacham: As Churchill once said, “What the fuck
is it with those whackjobs?”
Gregory: interesting
Meach: As Madison once said, “If men were angels, they would fly around in robes and get shot from helicopters by Sarah Palin”
Goodwin: People is mad!
Gregory: true
Goodwin: as LBJ once said, “Doris, do I look
good naked?”
Murphy: Everyone hates Obama except for Democrats, liberals, progressives, urban voters, the East coast, African-Americans, Hispanics, gays, the educated, young, students, 32 million uninsured-
Gregory: ok ok that’s all time we have
******************
Sunday, March 28, 2010
This Week with Jarrett, Rendell, Barbour - March 28, 2010
Host:
Jake Tapper
Guests:
Valerie Jarrett - White House Advisor
Gov. Ed Rendell (D-PA)
Gov. Haley Barbour (R-MS)
**********************
Tapper: Hi Valerie is it true that Iran is about to violate international law by building nuclear bombs which we have thousands of?
Jarrett: yes and we’re going to kick Iranian ass!
Tapper: but don’t you convey weakness?
Jarrett: hell no Jack!
Tapper: when we will spank Iran?
Jarrett: next week - Obama’s rolling!
Tapper: speaking of that - Obama had a big success this week - how do you respond to the charge
that Obama is a big failure for enacting this unpopular bill?
Jarrett: when people see all the kittens and puppies in this law they will change their tune Jake
Tapper: AT&T says they will lose one billion dollars so then they can’t hire more customer service people to ignore you
Jarrett: Those big corporations are getting massive subsidies and deducting them from their taxes and we’re changing that - no wonder they’re whining
and crying
Tapper: the CBO says this is a good law but let’s assume it’s a total failure - is Obama willing to apologize to the American people for this
horrible law?
Jarrett: um, what?
Tapper: Teabaggers are attacking people using threats and violence - isn’t it inappropriate for Democrats to point that out?
Jarrett: no it’s not
Tapper: but it’s so uncivil and inappropriate!
Jarrett: you like that word don’t you
Tapper: I’m very appropriate at all times
Jarrett: yes I see
Tapper: is there a strong bond of love with
Obama and Bibi?
Jarrett: oh sure
Tapper: really cause I heard they hate each
other’s guts
Jarrett: yes but in a loving friendly way
[ break ]
Tapper: Gov. Barbour you say making people buy health insurance is unconstitutional but law-takers says that’s ignorant and pathetic grandstanding
Barbour: suddenly I’m very concerned about far-reaching powers of the federal government
- like what if every American had to buy a gun
NRA: hey that’s a damm good idea dammit
Rendell: the legal argument is stupid - they only reason the mandate is there is because we kept
the insurance system in intact
Tapper: if we give people health care won’t we
run out of doctors?
Rendell: No we have millions of doctors out
there doing nothing
Tapper: Oh?
Rendell: See we have a lot of unemployed PhDs in America - we just empower them to treat people and problem solved
Tapper: Do we really want people who wrote a thesis on medieval iconography in Jane Austen diaries performing surgery?
Rendell: don’t be silly - only art history majors will
be cutting into people
Gregory: Haley Barbour Mississippi is a fat unhealthy mess of a state - why would you sue to stop health care?
Barbour: That is all true but the problem is not a lack of insurance - it’s that most people here eat deep-fried lard in cream sauce
Tapper: that sounds tasty
Barbour: we were just about to pass real health care reform when that damm Obama came along!
Tapper: Ed everyone hates you - aren’t Democrats doomed?
Rendell: No people are going to like this bill and we’re not as fucked as people think we are - maybe
Tapper: Barbour it looks like the GOP blew it and people make like this law after all
Barbour: The Big Corporations are going to lose money - it’s so so so sad
Tapper: ok
Barbour: Candidly the liberal media is giving
oral sex to Obama
Rendell: no offense to you Jake but the media has been pounding Obama in the ass
Tapper: Isn’t David Paterson ruining the Democratic party nationwide?
Rendell: well he is a weasel but the Lt. Governor wasn’t elected
Tapper: Paterson wasn’t either
Rendell: yes he was idiot
Barbour: you can’t trust the CBO demmit
Tapper: ok ok
**********************
Jake Tapper
Guests:
Valerie Jarrett - White House Advisor
Gov. Ed Rendell (D-PA)
Gov. Haley Barbour (R-MS)
**********************
Tapper: Hi Valerie is it true that Iran is about to violate international law by building nuclear bombs which we have thousands of?
Jarrett: yes and we’re going to kick Iranian ass!
Tapper: but don’t you convey weakness?
Jarrett: hell no Jack!
Tapper: when we will spank Iran?
Jarrett: next week - Obama’s rolling!
Tapper: speaking of that - Obama had a big success this week - how do you respond to the charge
that Obama is a big failure for enacting this unpopular bill?
Jarrett: when people see all the kittens and puppies in this law they will change their tune Jake
Tapper: AT&T says they will lose one billion dollars so then they can’t hire more customer service people to ignore you
Jarrett: Those big corporations are getting massive subsidies and deducting them from their taxes and we’re changing that - no wonder they’re whining
and crying
Tapper: the CBO says this is a good law but let’s assume it’s a total failure - is Obama willing to apologize to the American people for this
horrible law?
Jarrett: um, what?
Tapper: Teabaggers are attacking people using threats and violence - isn’t it inappropriate for Democrats to point that out?
Jarrett: no it’s not
Tapper: but it’s so uncivil and inappropriate!
Jarrett: you like that word don’t you
Tapper: I’m very appropriate at all times
Jarrett: yes I see
Tapper: is there a strong bond of love with
Obama and Bibi?
Jarrett: oh sure
Tapper: really cause I heard they hate each
other’s guts
Jarrett: yes but in a loving friendly way
[ break ]
Tapper: Gov. Barbour you say making people buy health insurance is unconstitutional but law-takers says that’s ignorant and pathetic grandstanding
Barbour: suddenly I’m very concerned about far-reaching powers of the federal government
- like what if every American had to buy a gun
NRA: hey that’s a damm good idea dammit
Rendell: the legal argument is stupid - they only reason the mandate is there is because we kept
the insurance system in intact
Tapper: if we give people health care won’t we
run out of doctors?
Rendell: No we have millions of doctors out
there doing nothing
Tapper: Oh?
Rendell: See we have a lot of unemployed PhDs in America - we just empower them to treat people and problem solved
Tapper: Do we really want people who wrote a thesis on medieval iconography in Jane Austen diaries performing surgery?
Rendell: don’t be silly - only art history majors will
be cutting into people
Gregory: Haley Barbour Mississippi is a fat unhealthy mess of a state - why would you sue to stop health care?
Barbour: That is all true but the problem is not a lack of insurance - it’s that most people here eat deep-fried lard in cream sauce
Tapper: that sounds tasty
Barbour: we were just about to pass real health care reform when that damm Obama came along!
Tapper: Ed everyone hates you - aren’t Democrats doomed?
Rendell: No people are going to like this bill and we’re not as fucked as people think we are - maybe
Tapper: Barbour it looks like the GOP blew it and people make like this law after all
Barbour: The Big Corporations are going to lose money - it’s so so so sad
Tapper: ok
Barbour: Candidly the liberal media is giving
oral sex to Obama
Rendell: no offense to you Jake but the media has been pounding Obama in the ass
Tapper: Isn’t David Paterson ruining the Democratic party nationwide?
Rendell: well he is a weasel but the Lt. Governor wasn’t elected
Tapper: Paterson wasn’t either
Rendell: yes he was idiot
Barbour: you can’t trust the CBO demmit
Tapper: ok ok
**********************
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Meet the Press - March 21, 2010
Guests:
Rep. Steny Hoyer
Rep. John Boehner
Tim Kaine (Chair, DNC)
Michael Steele (Chair, RNC)
Anita Dunn
Ed Gillespie
Chuck Todd
Tavis Smiley
*****************
Gregory: Steny do you have the votes?
Hoyer: god I hope so - I bet my family fortune on it and on Kansas in the office NCAA pool
Gregory: I’m sorry to hear that
Hoyer: we have the votes - maybe
Gregory: will you hold the vote anyway?
Hoyer: we will hold a vote today and we will
have the votes! I’m pretty sure!
Boehner: any bill which the GOP doesn't vote
for must be bad
Gregory: that makes sense
Boehner: this bill will ruin America!
Hoyer: just like Clinton’s 1993 budget did?
Boehner: right
Gregory: the American people hate this bill
Hoyer: no they don’t - you lie about that every week
Gregory: [ smugly grinning ]
my selected poll says they do
Hoyer: I don’t care what General Electric says
Boehner: the Democrats are stealing money
from Medicare!
Hoyer: what an idiot you are
Boehner: Obama’s Health Czar will seize your body
Gregory: I’m stunned that the Teabaggers are
racist, homophobic lunatics
Boehner: let’s not let a few bad apples take away from the fact that Obama is an African witch doctor who wants to kill your white grandmother
Gregory: that is scary
Hoyer: this bill will help small businesses, expand insurance, and give every American a choice of a puppy, kitten or Glock 9
Boehner this is an immediate takeover of everything!
Gregory: what else about the bill is bad?
Boehner it doesn’t kick in until 2014!
Gregory: the CBO says this will cut the debt and stave off disaster
Boehner: yes but we have a great plan that isn’t a dangerous socialist plan
Gregory: why didn’t you enact it before?
Boehner we didn’t know a skillful black guy would
be elected President
Gregory: you can’t trust the CBO - they like Obama’s plan and I hate it!
Hoyer: Calm down Fluffy
Gregory: Bohner will Democrats lose the House
in the fall?
Boehner well it’s a steep climb - after all everyone hates Republicans
Gregory: will you try to repeal this law?
Boehner well let’s not get crazy - after all people
like insurance
Gregory: so what is the GOP plan?
Boehner yell and scream that Obama will bankrupt this country
Gregory: anything else?
Boehner: file a lawsuit saying that we are all the Jews for Obama’s Indonesian cannibal cauldron of Sharia Kenyan Marxist Sacrificial Commission of Death
Gregory: well good luck with that
[ break ]
Gregory: Mike how terrible will it be for Obama
if he wins?
Steele: oh it will be awful - Obama and the Democrats will be defeated in the fall if they pass this bill
Gregory: I can’t wondering if maybe you are insane
Steele: no this has Commissions - it’s basically a Marxist takeover of America’s precious fluids
Kaine: um yeah - I’ll take your concern for Democrats with all due consideration
Steele: you should listen to me - don’t do this!!
Kaine: we’re going to run on crushing the insurance companies and it’s going to be awesome!
Gregory: oh sure you say that now - but the stimulus still isn’t popular
Kaine: hey Dancin’ Dave did you know 42%
is not a majority?
Gregory: oh noe!
Kaine: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: word appears to have gotten out
Kaine: this is a good bill with popular ideas
Gregory: the merits don’t matter - I want to talk
about inside baseball
Kaine: Fluffyhaid you are an idiot
Steele: we’re turning the economy on its head!!
Gregory: why is Congress so unpopular?
Steele: because Congressmen didn’t want lunatics screaming epithets at them in Town Hall meetings
Gregory: speaking of that - teabaggers are out there yelling “nigger!”
Steele: we have a handful of people saying
hateful and ignorant things
Gregory: enough about John Boehner and Mitch McConnell
Steele: there’s a fine line between clever and stupid
Gregory: the Republican Committee jumped over it
Steele: that’s just the national committee - they don't represent good white Republicans like me
Gregory: Obama wants to steer the ship of state to help people
Steele: it's immoral - the American nation was founded by people who love business and hate government
Kaine: In 8 years Republicans destroyed this country and it’s to Barack Hussein Obama
to rescue it!
Steele: Holy moley!
Gregory: can we ever have bipartisanship?
Kaine: we can all agree on cracking Mexican skulls
Steele: damm right!
[ high fives Kaine ]
[ break ]
Gregory: If Obama passes health care reform do we take Teddy Roosevelt off Mount Rushmore?
Dunn: His kung fu is mighty mighty!
Gillespie: I greatly respect his ability to push through a bill which will wreck America by restoring majority rule
Todd: It’s a philosophical difference - Democrats are swarthy welfare cheats who buy votes and Republicans are devout Christians who
think people shouldn’t get health care
Smiley: if you're gonna lose, go down swingin’!
Dunn: insurance companies spent a billion dollars
to defeat the bill!
Gregory: probably to help Democrats from themselves
Dunn: one week from now people will wake up to free insurance, small business tax credits and sugarplums in their beds
Gregory: Boooooooooring!!!
Todd: ha good one Fluffy
Gregory: what mistakes did Obama make in enacting this historic legislation?
Todd: Letting Max Baucus write the bill and not seducing Olympia Snowe
Gillespie: Republicans will take over in the fall and ruin this country again like we did before
Gregory: [ grinning idiotically ]
who wins!? who loses?!?!
Todd: jeebus Fluffy even I think you look like a fool
Gregory: ha ha ha
Todd: People need to see the benefits immediately or they will panic and vote the party they know
are insane
Smiley: people are dyin’ goddammitt - pull your head out of your ass!
Gregory: but those Congressmen are scared-
Smiley: I was talkin’ ‘bout you Fluffy!!
Gillespie: the IRS will raid your home and murder your grandma!
Gregory: Bush ignored the people for 8 years
Gillespie: when you are Commander-in-Chief you have a moral obligation to repeal the Constitution
Gregory: but you cannot take the savings to the bank!
Dunn: oh sure Gregory loves the CBO until it favors the health care bill
Gregory: ha ha you got me Anita
Dunn: this bill is going to pass so you can
suck it Greggers
Gregory: ha ha that’s the last word
*******************************
Rep. Steny Hoyer
Rep. John Boehner
Tim Kaine (Chair, DNC)
Michael Steele (Chair, RNC)
Anita Dunn
Ed Gillespie
Chuck Todd
Tavis Smiley
*****************
Gregory: Steny do you have the votes?
Hoyer: god I hope so - I bet my family fortune on it and on Kansas in the office NCAA pool
Gregory: I’m sorry to hear that
Hoyer: we have the votes - maybe
Gregory: will you hold the vote anyway?
Hoyer: we will hold a vote today and we will
have the votes! I’m pretty sure!
Boehner: any bill which the GOP doesn't vote
for must be bad
Gregory: that makes sense
Boehner: this bill will ruin America!
Hoyer: just like Clinton’s 1993 budget did?
Boehner: right
Gregory: the American people hate this bill
Hoyer: no they don’t - you lie about that every week
Gregory: [ smugly grinning ]
my selected poll says they do
Hoyer: I don’t care what General Electric says
Boehner: the Democrats are stealing money
from Medicare!
Hoyer: what an idiot you are
Boehner: Obama’s Health Czar will seize your body
Gregory: I’m stunned that the Teabaggers are
racist, homophobic lunatics
Boehner: let’s not let a few bad apples take away from the fact that Obama is an African witch doctor who wants to kill your white grandmother
Gregory: that is scary
Hoyer: this bill will help small businesses, expand insurance, and give every American a choice of a puppy, kitten or Glock 9
Boehner this is an immediate takeover of everything!
Gregory: what else about the bill is bad?
Boehner it doesn’t kick in until 2014!
Gregory: the CBO says this will cut the debt and stave off disaster
Boehner: yes but we have a great plan that isn’t a dangerous socialist plan
Gregory: why didn’t you enact it before?
Boehner we didn’t know a skillful black guy would
be elected President
Gregory: you can’t trust the CBO - they like Obama’s plan and I hate it!
Hoyer: Calm down Fluffy
Gregory: Bohner will Democrats lose the House
in the fall?
Boehner well it’s a steep climb - after all everyone hates Republicans
Gregory: will you try to repeal this law?
Boehner well let’s not get crazy - after all people
like insurance
Gregory: so what is the GOP plan?
Boehner yell and scream that Obama will bankrupt this country
Gregory: anything else?
Boehner: file a lawsuit saying that we are all the Jews for Obama’s Indonesian cannibal cauldron of Sharia Kenyan Marxist Sacrificial Commission of Death
Gregory: well good luck with that
[ break ]
Gregory: Mike how terrible will it be for Obama
if he wins?
Steele: oh it will be awful - Obama and the Democrats will be defeated in the fall if they pass this bill
Gregory: I can’t wondering if maybe you are insane
Steele: no this has Commissions - it’s basically a Marxist takeover of America’s precious fluids
Kaine: um yeah - I’ll take your concern for Democrats with all due consideration
Steele: you should listen to me - don’t do this!!
Kaine: we’re going to run on crushing the insurance companies and it’s going to be awesome!
Gregory: oh sure you say that now - but the stimulus still isn’t popular
Kaine: hey Dancin’ Dave did you know 42%
is not a majority?
Gregory: oh noe!
Kaine: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: word appears to have gotten out
Kaine: this is a good bill with popular ideas
Gregory: the merits don’t matter - I want to talk
about inside baseball
Kaine: Fluffyhaid you are an idiot
Steele: we’re turning the economy on its head!!
Gregory: why is Congress so unpopular?
Steele: because Congressmen didn’t want lunatics screaming epithets at them in Town Hall meetings
Gregory: speaking of that - teabaggers are out there yelling “nigger!”
Steele: we have a handful of people saying
hateful and ignorant things
Gregory: enough about John Boehner and Mitch McConnell
Steele: there’s a fine line between clever and stupid
Gregory: the Republican Committee jumped over it
Steele: that’s just the national committee - they don't represent good white Republicans like me
Gregory: Obama wants to steer the ship of state to help people
Steele: it's immoral - the American nation was founded by people who love business and hate government
Kaine: In 8 years Republicans destroyed this country and it’s to Barack Hussein Obama
to rescue it!
Steele: Holy moley!
Gregory: can we ever have bipartisanship?
Kaine: we can all agree on cracking Mexican skulls
Steele: damm right!
[ high fives Kaine ]
[ break ]
Gregory: If Obama passes health care reform do we take Teddy Roosevelt off Mount Rushmore?
Dunn: His kung fu is mighty mighty!
Gillespie: I greatly respect his ability to push through a bill which will wreck America by restoring majority rule
Todd: It’s a philosophical difference - Democrats are swarthy welfare cheats who buy votes and Republicans are devout Christians who
think people shouldn’t get health care
Smiley: if you're gonna lose, go down swingin’!
Dunn: insurance companies spent a billion dollars
to defeat the bill!
Gregory: probably to help Democrats from themselves
Dunn: one week from now people will wake up to free insurance, small business tax credits and sugarplums in their beds
Gregory: Boooooooooring!!!
Todd: ha good one Fluffy
Gregory: what mistakes did Obama make in enacting this historic legislation?
Todd: Letting Max Baucus write the bill and not seducing Olympia Snowe
Gillespie: Republicans will take over in the fall and ruin this country again like we did before
Gregory: [ grinning idiotically ]
who wins!? who loses?!?!
Todd: jeebus Fluffy even I think you look like a fool
Gregory: ha ha ha
Todd: People need to see the benefits immediately or they will panic and vote the party they know
are insane
Smiley: people are dyin’ goddammitt - pull your head out of your ass!
Gregory: but those Congressmen are scared-
Smiley: I was talkin’ ‘bout you Fluffy!!
Gillespie: the IRS will raid your home and murder your grandma!
Gregory: Bush ignored the people for 8 years
Gillespie: when you are Commander-in-Chief you have a moral obligation to repeal the Constitution
Gregory: but you cannot take the savings to the bank!
Dunn: oh sure Gregory loves the CBO until it favors the health care bill
Gregory: ha ha you got me Anita
Dunn: this bill is going to pass so you can
suck it Greggers
Gregory: ha ha that’s the last word
*******************************
This Week - March 21, 2010
March 21, 2010
Host:
Jonanthan Karl
Guests:
Rep. John Larson (D-CT)
Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA)
David Plouffe (Obama White House Advisor)
Karl Rove (Bush White House Advisor)
*************************
Karl: So Rep. Larson - I've never heard of you - so do you have the votes?
Larson: damm right!
Karl: really, for sure?
Larson: fuck yeah!
Karl: Eric have they defeated you?
Cantor: oh no we’re winning
Karl: it seems like they have
Cantor: well if they have it’s only because they bribed Louisiana by promising them health care
for their citizens
Karl: that is disturbing
Larson: are you on the side of the insurance industry or the people?
Cantor: I warn you Democrats don’t pass this bill - the American people are scared!!
Larson: oh the American people are always scared over some bullshit you scream about
Karl: how many Democrats will lose because
of this bill?
Larson: millions of people will die if we don’t enact this bill!
Karl: Eric will this bill really ruin America -
I mean any more that Bush already did?
Cantor: the people are terrified, it’s all about fear!
Karl: but is any of that true?
Cantor: they are frightened!
Karl: but is that a lie or false?
Cantor: you’ve got people out there scared
Karl: so you keep saying
Larson: sure they’re scared - you’re all out there yelling “there’s a nigger in the White House!”
Cantor: no one supports that
Karl: Boehner is screaming “it’s Armageddon!!”
Cantor: true but Boehner is our resident House embarrassing nutjob
Karl: Obama says we shouldn’t focus on whether this helps Obama - so does it help Obama?
Plouffe: this is about insurance companies vs. regular people and big corporations vs. cute puppies and kittens
Karl: if you lose this vote do you lose the House??
Plouffe: this vote proves politics and elections matter godammit!
Karl: so Rove are you geninuely concerned about the Democrats?
Rove: oh yes the Dems are just like Bernie Madoff - they don’t even cut the deficit!
Karl: like you did with the Iraq war?
Rove: right - it’s terrible!
Karl: oh noes!
Rove: look at my magic markers and whiteboard - they cut Medicaid!
Karl: how sophisticated
Rove: it’s a disaster!
Plouffe: and who would know more about disasters and false accounting than Karl Rove and George Bush?
Rove: you spend too much - don’t lecture fiscal conservatives like me and Bush about spending
Karl: he’s got a whiteboard - he must be right
Rove: you lie!!
Karl: I will let Karl Rove yell and scream nonsense for ten minutes
Rove: The Dems will take our surplus and make it a deficit!
Karl: wow!
Rove: they will bankrupt the country!
Karl: isn’t it kamikaze to fight for what you
believe in?
Plouffe: no dumbass this about leading delivering for the people
Karl: but isn’t it time for the Unions to back off?
Plouffe: watch out Jonathan or you will wake up
with a pony head in your bed
Karl: but let’s talk more about division in the Democratic party
Rove: Democrats have fascistically threatened the use of the President of the United States!
Plouffe: what a ridiculous person you are
Rove: [ interrupting ]
Obama violated the CAN-SPAM act!
Plouffe: why don’t you go shake down Wall Street or destroy another American city?
Rove: that hurts Pluffy
Karl: isn’t it Obama’s fault that Republicans call Obama a New Guinea witch doctor?
Rove: [interrupting ]
Obama has been detached, aloof uppity and altogether black
Plouffe: interrupting, screaming, spitting -
it’s all they got
Karl: Ok then
Rove: [ spits ]
********************
Host:
Jonanthan Karl
Guests:
Rep. John Larson (D-CT)
Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA)
David Plouffe (Obama White House Advisor)
Karl Rove (Bush White House Advisor)
*************************
Karl: So Rep. Larson - I've never heard of you - so do you have the votes?
Larson: damm right!
Karl: really, for sure?
Larson: fuck yeah!
Karl: Eric have they defeated you?
Cantor: oh no we’re winning
Karl: it seems like they have
Cantor: well if they have it’s only because they bribed Louisiana by promising them health care
for their citizens
Karl: that is disturbing
Larson: are you on the side of the insurance industry or the people?
Cantor: I warn you Democrats don’t pass this bill - the American people are scared!!
Larson: oh the American people are always scared over some bullshit you scream about
Karl: how many Democrats will lose because
of this bill?
Larson: millions of people will die if we don’t enact this bill!
Karl: Eric will this bill really ruin America -
I mean any more that Bush already did?
Cantor: the people are terrified, it’s all about fear!
Karl: but is any of that true?
Cantor: they are frightened!
Karl: but is that a lie or false?
Cantor: you’ve got people out there scared
Karl: so you keep saying
Larson: sure they’re scared - you’re all out there yelling “there’s a nigger in the White House!”
Cantor: no one supports that
Karl: Boehner is screaming “it’s Armageddon!!”
Cantor: true but Boehner is our resident House embarrassing nutjob
Karl: Obama says we shouldn’t focus on whether this helps Obama - so does it help Obama?
Plouffe: this is about insurance companies vs. regular people and big corporations vs. cute puppies and kittens
Karl: if you lose this vote do you lose the House??
Plouffe: this vote proves politics and elections matter godammit!
Karl: so Rove are you geninuely concerned about the Democrats?
Rove: oh yes the Dems are just like Bernie Madoff - they don’t even cut the deficit!
Karl: like you did with the Iraq war?
Rove: right - it’s terrible!
Karl: oh noes!
Rove: look at my magic markers and whiteboard - they cut Medicaid!
Karl: how sophisticated
Rove: it’s a disaster!
Plouffe: and who would know more about disasters and false accounting than Karl Rove and George Bush?
Rove: you spend too much - don’t lecture fiscal conservatives like me and Bush about spending
Karl: he’s got a whiteboard - he must be right
Rove: you lie!!
Karl: I will let Karl Rove yell and scream nonsense for ten minutes
Rove: The Dems will take our surplus and make it a deficit!
Karl: wow!
Rove: they will bankrupt the country!
Karl: isn’t it kamikaze to fight for what you
believe in?
Plouffe: no dumbass this about leading delivering for the people
Karl: but isn’t it time for the Unions to back off?
Plouffe: watch out Jonathan or you will wake up
with a pony head in your bed
Karl: but let’s talk more about division in the Democratic party
Rove: Democrats have fascistically threatened the use of the President of the United States!
Plouffe: what a ridiculous person you are
Rove: [ interrupting ]
Obama violated the CAN-SPAM act!
Plouffe: why don’t you go shake down Wall Street or destroy another American city?
Rove: that hurts Pluffy
Karl: isn’t it Obama’s fault that Republicans call Obama a New Guinea witch doctor?
Rove: [interrupting ]
Obama has been detached, aloof uppity and altogether black
Plouffe: interrupting, screaming, spitting -
it’s all they got
Karl: Ok then
Rove: [ spits ]
********************
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Meet The Press - March 14, 2010
Host:
Tom Brokaw
Guests:
David Axelrod - White House advisor
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL)
Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC)
Karl Rove
Tom Friedman
David Brooks
********************
Brokaw: David the health care bill is 2,700 pages long - what page provides health coverage for
mindless books about generations?
Axelrod: the American people have witnessed a year-long debate, filibuster-proof votes in the House and Senate, and they don’t give a shit about procedure - they want goddamm health care reform!
Brokaw: President Brown says we shouldn’t have multi-trillion dollar health care in America
Axelrod: did you know Massachusetts has the
same plan and he never tried to repeal it
Brokaw: maybe so but he is good looking and
drives a truck
Axelrod: we stopped a Depression and Scott Brown just voted for another Obama jobs bill!
Brokaw: what about the little fetuses?
Axelrod: not only are they protected they can
now carry guns
Brokaw: Democrats are very scared of the teabaggers
Axelrod: they need to suck it up and realize they
are going to criticized whatever they do
Brokaw: well many of them are not used to that
Axelrod: yes I noticed
Brokaw: but the bill is so long and scary
Axelrod: hey dipshits you gotta go back to your constituents with an accomplishment!
Brokaw: but how can you be sure what this bill
will cost - after all when I served in WWII we had no idea FDR would nuke Lousiana
Axelrod: that’s a good point Tom
Brokaw: will you get it passed?
Axelrod: yes probably
Brokaw: certainly?
Axelrod: definitely highly likely
Brokaw: Israel gave a big fuck you to Joe Biden
Axelrod: that’s true
Brokaw: why didn’t Obama call Bibi and give
him a beat down Obama-style?
Axelrod: he didn’t need to - Joe was there
Brokaw: what did he do?
Axelrod: threatened to keep coming back unless they apologized
Brokaw: what did they do?
Axelrod: they started removing settlements the
next day
[ break ]
Brokaw: Congressman do you have the votes
for health care?
Clyburn: no but we will - I think
Brokaw: Democrats are scared that GOP opponents will read the bill during debates in the fall
Clyburn: I don’t think so - how many GOP candidates can actually read?
Brokaw: Dick will the Senate wreck the House bill?
Durbin: I am in the process of trying to reach
every Democratic Senator
Brokaw: have you gotten them all?
Durbin: yes I reached Blanche Lincoln in the Republican cloakroom and Ben Nelson at
the Hair Club for Men
Brokaw: people say they oppose government takeover of Medicare
Durbin: you see what kind of stupidity we’re up against
Brokaw: let me warble GOP talking points
Durbin: go ahead Tom
Brokaw: warble warble
Brokaw: Clyburn could I get a free abortion with
this bill?
Clyburn: no - Bart Stupak is one of my best friends and a fucking liar
Brokaw: the Black Caucus says Obama doesn’t care about black people
Clyburn: yeah that makes sense
Brokaw: can you assure black people the
recession will end in 3 months?
Clyburn: looks like they picked you from the same Idiot Tree where the found Dancing Dave
Durbin: Tom the US economy will pick up when the GOP stops filibustering progress
Brokaw: arble
[ break ]
Brokaw: Karl some call you Bush’s Brain and liberals call your Treasonous Motherfucker
Rove: hi everybody
[ waves ]
Bush: [ waching tv at home]
hey Laura there’s turdblossom
Laura: that’s nice dear
Brokaw: Karl is Obama making the same mistake you did when you failed to pass Social Security?
Rove: no because we had bipartisan support for
our utter failure
Brokaw: why has Obama failed?
Rove: he’s lazy
Brokaw: will the GOP run against health care reform?
Rove: yes - when you think about it it’s amazing that Obama is not more popular just because Fox news keeps calling him Hitler
Brokaw: so oppose the bill no matter what it says
Rove: absolutely
Brokaw: but you don’t even know what is in the bill!
Rove: right - that’s also terrible!
Brokaw: I noticed you didn’t find fake WMD so apparently we invaded another country for no
good reason
Rove: that’s a fair point - I admit with no WMD the
UN would not have ordered Bush to invade Iraq
Brokaw: Dick Cheney said ‘so who gives a shit
we would have invaded anyway’
Rove: John Kerry said the same thing
Brokaw: oh well forget I said anything then
Rove: look the UN forced us to attack Iraq
- there was nothing we could do
Brokaw: we only have a half hour so I can only list
a few of your other epic failures - for example the oil revenues-
Rove: it’s not fair to say we screwed up control the oil - we fucked that up before we ever invaded
Brokaw: anyway it was utter chaos in Iraq
Rove: well sure - but two and half years after the war started al qaeda attacked us and we were caught completely by surprise
Brokaw: you sound like incredible idiots
Rove: no fair we had a plan
Brokaw: but it failed
Rove: eh
Brokaw: Sarah Palin
Rove: I love her but she’s a moron
Brokaw: Teabaggers
Rove: they finally realized that spending and government is bad under a black man
Brokaw: Dick Cheney shot your lawyer and you
got miffed
Rove: yes that’s when I finally realized he’s completely psychotic
Brokaw: do you think Fox News is fair to Obama
Rove: oh yes absolutely
Brokaw: with all due respect you have got to be kidding
Rove: but Joe Scarborough is a liberal and
Rachel Maddow is gay
Brokaw: arble barble
[ break ]
Brokaw: David Brooks is health care the apocalypse?
Brooks: yes
Brokaw: oh?
Brooks: Obama is just like Bush
Brokaw: of course
Brooks: I miss the greatest generation - if there’s one thing people learn in war it’s never to take risks
Friedman: if the GOP stops him he might as well resign
Brooks: Obama should just try to little things and let health care fester for a little while
Brokaw: since Bush was a terrible President I can’t support Obama arble
Brooks: I’m very concerned that this is too expensive - unlike war and tax cuts which are of course free
Brokaw: while Biden was in Israel they announced they would build 1,600 new settlements in Delaware
Hillary: hey Bibi take your settlements and shove them up your fat ass!
Friedman: Israel is a crazy drunk driver
Brokaw: who will take away their keys?
Friedman: we did Israel a huge favor invading Iraq and they thank us by dissing the best Vice President since Al Gore
Brokaw: oh my
Friedman: we give them lots in aid in cash and could they have given Obama a beer?! Is that too much?
Brokaw: It seems like everyone in the world hates our guts
Friedman: if we don’t get tough with Israel no one
will respect us
Brooks: cocooned shut-in bloggers are ruining our political dicourse
Brokaw: oh noes the bloggers!
Brooks: the ability to create a twitter feed will bring down the American Empire
Brokaw: [ tweets ] brooksie sez tweets r bad
Brooks: being stupid feels really good
Brokaw: that is so true
Friedman: we have one party governing and another party throwing spit balls and erasers from the back row
Brokaw: Reagan was overwhelmingly re-elected - maybe people should calm the fuck down
Brooks: I’m with you Tom
Brokaw: you got it baby
Friedman: America is the greatest Dysfunctional Show on Earth!
Brokaw: Warble
*******************
posted by Culture of Truth
Tom Brokaw
Guests:
David Axelrod - White House advisor
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL)
Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC)
Karl Rove
Tom Friedman
David Brooks
********************
Brokaw: David the health care bill is 2,700 pages long - what page provides health coverage for
mindless books about generations?
Axelrod: the American people have witnessed a year-long debate, filibuster-proof votes in the House and Senate, and they don’t give a shit about procedure - they want goddamm health care reform!
Brokaw: President Brown says we shouldn’t have multi-trillion dollar health care in America
Axelrod: did you know Massachusetts has the
same plan and he never tried to repeal it
Brokaw: maybe so but he is good looking and
drives a truck
Axelrod: we stopped a Depression and Scott Brown just voted for another Obama jobs bill!
Brokaw: what about the little fetuses?
Axelrod: not only are they protected they can
now carry guns
Brokaw: Democrats are very scared of the teabaggers
Axelrod: they need to suck it up and realize they
are going to criticized whatever they do
Brokaw: well many of them are not used to that
Axelrod: yes I noticed
Brokaw: but the bill is so long and scary
Axelrod: hey dipshits you gotta go back to your constituents with an accomplishment!
Brokaw: but how can you be sure what this bill
will cost - after all when I served in WWII we had no idea FDR would nuke Lousiana
Axelrod: that’s a good point Tom
Brokaw: will you get it passed?
Axelrod: yes probably
Brokaw: certainly?
Axelrod: definitely highly likely
Brokaw: Israel gave a big fuck you to Joe Biden
Axelrod: that’s true
Brokaw: why didn’t Obama call Bibi and give
him a beat down Obama-style?
Axelrod: he didn’t need to - Joe was there
Brokaw: what did he do?
Axelrod: threatened to keep coming back unless they apologized
Brokaw: what did they do?
Axelrod: they started removing settlements the
next day
[ break ]
Brokaw: Congressman do you have the votes
for health care?
Clyburn: no but we will - I think
Brokaw: Democrats are scared that GOP opponents will read the bill during debates in the fall
Clyburn: I don’t think so - how many GOP candidates can actually read?
Brokaw: Dick will the Senate wreck the House bill?
Durbin: I am in the process of trying to reach
every Democratic Senator
Brokaw: have you gotten them all?
Durbin: yes I reached Blanche Lincoln in the Republican cloakroom and Ben Nelson at
the Hair Club for Men
Brokaw: people say they oppose government takeover of Medicare
Durbin: you see what kind of stupidity we’re up against
Brokaw: let me warble GOP talking points
Durbin: go ahead Tom
Brokaw: warble warble
Brokaw: Clyburn could I get a free abortion with
this bill?
Clyburn: no - Bart Stupak is one of my best friends and a fucking liar
Brokaw: the Black Caucus says Obama doesn’t care about black people
Clyburn: yeah that makes sense
Brokaw: can you assure black people the
recession will end in 3 months?
Clyburn: looks like they picked you from the same Idiot Tree where the found Dancing Dave
Durbin: Tom the US economy will pick up when the GOP stops filibustering progress
Brokaw: arble
[ break ]
Brokaw: Karl some call you Bush’s Brain and liberals call your Treasonous Motherfucker
Rove: hi everybody
[ waves ]
Bush: [ waching tv at home]
hey Laura there’s turdblossom
Laura: that’s nice dear
Brokaw: Karl is Obama making the same mistake you did when you failed to pass Social Security?
Rove: no because we had bipartisan support for
our utter failure
Brokaw: why has Obama failed?
Rove: he’s lazy
Brokaw: will the GOP run against health care reform?
Rove: yes - when you think about it it’s amazing that Obama is not more popular just because Fox news keeps calling him Hitler
Brokaw: so oppose the bill no matter what it says
Rove: absolutely
Brokaw: but you don’t even know what is in the bill!
Rove: right - that’s also terrible!
Brokaw: I noticed you didn’t find fake WMD so apparently we invaded another country for no
good reason
Rove: that’s a fair point - I admit with no WMD the
UN would not have ordered Bush to invade Iraq
Brokaw: Dick Cheney said ‘so who gives a shit
we would have invaded anyway’
Rove: John Kerry said the same thing
Brokaw: oh well forget I said anything then
Rove: look the UN forced us to attack Iraq
- there was nothing we could do
Brokaw: we only have a half hour so I can only list
a few of your other epic failures - for example the oil revenues-
Rove: it’s not fair to say we screwed up control the oil - we fucked that up before we ever invaded
Brokaw: anyway it was utter chaos in Iraq
Rove: well sure - but two and half years after the war started al qaeda attacked us and we were caught completely by surprise
Brokaw: you sound like incredible idiots
Rove: no fair we had a plan
Brokaw: but it failed
Rove: eh
Brokaw: Sarah Palin
Rove: I love her but she’s a moron
Brokaw: Teabaggers
Rove: they finally realized that spending and government is bad under a black man
Brokaw: Dick Cheney shot your lawyer and you
got miffed
Rove: yes that’s when I finally realized he’s completely psychotic
Brokaw: do you think Fox News is fair to Obama
Rove: oh yes absolutely
Brokaw: with all due respect you have got to be kidding
Rove: but Joe Scarborough is a liberal and
Rachel Maddow is gay
Brokaw: arble barble
[ break ]
Brokaw: David Brooks is health care the apocalypse?
Brooks: yes
Brokaw: oh?
Brooks: Obama is just like Bush
Brokaw: of course
Brooks: I miss the greatest generation - if there’s one thing people learn in war it’s never to take risks
Friedman: if the GOP stops him he might as well resign
Brooks: Obama should just try to little things and let health care fester for a little while
Brokaw: since Bush was a terrible President I can’t support Obama arble
Brooks: I’m very concerned that this is too expensive - unlike war and tax cuts which are of course free
Brokaw: while Biden was in Israel they announced they would build 1,600 new settlements in Delaware
Hillary: hey Bibi take your settlements and shove them up your fat ass!
Friedman: Israel is a crazy drunk driver
Brokaw: who will take away their keys?
Friedman: we did Israel a huge favor invading Iraq and they thank us by dissing the best Vice President since Al Gore
Brokaw: oh my
Friedman: we give them lots in aid in cash and could they have given Obama a beer?! Is that too much?
Brokaw: It seems like everyone in the world hates our guts
Friedman: if we don’t get tough with Israel no one
will respect us
Brooks: cocooned shut-in bloggers are ruining our political dicourse
Brokaw: oh noes the bloggers!
Brooks: the ability to create a twitter feed will bring down the American Empire
Brokaw: [ tweets ] brooksie sez tweets r bad
Brooks: being stupid feels really good
Brokaw: that is so true
Friedman: we have one party governing and another party throwing spit balls and erasers from the back row
Brokaw: Reagan was overwhelmingly re-elected - maybe people should calm the fuck down
Brooks: I’m with you Tom
Brokaw: you got it baby
Friedman: America is the greatest Dysfunctional Show on Earth!
Brokaw: Warble
*******************
posted by Culture of Truth
This Week - March 14, 2010
Host:
Jake Tapper
Guests:
David Axelrod (White House Advisor)
Lindsey Graham (R-SC)
**********************
Tapper: so Dave are you going pass health
care or not?
Axelrod: yes we will crush the health care lobbyists! Maybe
Tapper: President Scott Brown (R-Cosmo) says you are a fascist for passing this bill - isn’t he right?
Axelrod: we’re trying to enact the same plan he never tried to repeal in Massachusetts
Tapper: but the American people hate the bill
Axelrod: no they don’t Jake - they hate the lies they’ve been told about the bill but when you ask them about provisions really in the plan they like it
Tapper: but the Poles!
Axelrod: screw those Slavic bastards
Tapper: ok
Axelrod: we’re not walking away from this
- we’re taking this fight to the next election
Tapper: no one wants health care reform
Axelrod: it will help the American people so
we’re doing it dammit
Tapper: so will you enact the bill this week or never?
Axelrod: people deserve an up or down vote
on this crappy bill no one likes
Tapper: what about the special deals for individual Senators - like Ben Nelson gets free hairpieces for life
Axelrod: that’s a good point Tapper - for example some states get special benefits if the entire state
is a disaster area but that could apply to every state in the South
Tapper: and Nebraska and Montana
Axelrod: and California, Alaska and Iraq
Tapper: will it reduce the deficit which is terribly important now that a Democrat is President?
Axelrod: sure why not
Tapper: will the House pass a bill on complete faith in the U.S. Senate which is not the greatest idea?
Axelrod: they have to Tapster
Tapper: I’m confused
Axelrod: we already had an up or down vote on
all these bills many times
Tapper: so you will ram Obama’s package down
our throats?
Axelrod: that’s exactly right Jake
Tapper: John Roberts says he felt threatened by a bunch of angry white Senators
Axelrod: yeah they’re a scary bunch alright
Tapper: but he was surrounded!
Axelrod: I could carve a judge out of a banana
and get better rulings
Tapper: Israel slapped Joe Biden in the face
Axelrod: They sure insulted Joe
Tapper: so what will be the consequences?
Axelrod: if they don’t apologize we will be forced to send Joe Biden there again and again
Tapper: do the new Israel settlements put U.S. lives at risk?
Axelrod: fuck Bibi - you don’t diss Barack Hussein Fucking Obama!
[ break ]
Tapper: Lindsey you say reconciliation is fascist
but you voted for reconciliation when it suited you
Graham: yes but health care affects one sixth
of the economy
Tapper: and Bush tax cuts don’t?
Graham: this is completely different after all we
have a black Democratic President now
Tapper: The Democrats say the people want this bill
Graham: the American people are just sick of
this crap
Tapper: meaning what?
Graham: they’re going to cut Medicare!
Tapper: you’re the President’s best friend - is Obama committed to immigration?
Graham: no he doesn’t meet with Republicans every day - it’s so sad
Tapper: what should be do
Graham: let Senator Obama propose a bill and I
will decide whether or not to veto it
Tapper: where is the leadership from John McCain
Graham: give the old man a break - he’s being primaried by a lunatic
Tapper: to be fair last time the GOP killed the immigration bill!
Graham: no that’s not fair - Obama is a sleazy black man cheating and is going to use a trick which we used to use all the time
Tapper: if a Republican works with Obama the teabaggers will kill them
Graham: this Obama character President is arrogant and uppity - who the hell does this black guy think he is?
Tapper: Sen Inhofe says if we close Gitmo swarthy terrorists will run for office in America and install Shaira law in our elementary schools
Graham: we need new laws to suspend the rule
of law in America
Tapper: but then we won’t have any laws at all
Graham: right - we need a legal framework to treat terrorists as warriors
Tapper: how odd
Graham: Gitmo is recruitment tool for terrorists
Tapper: so it’s a threat to American troops?
Graham: yes closing it is still a tough call - we should stop arguing about it since the one thing we can all agree on is that we have arrogant uppity black man in the White House
Tapper: thanks for coming Lindy
***********************
posted by Culture of Truth
Jake Tapper
Guests:
David Axelrod (White House Advisor)
Lindsey Graham (R-SC)
**********************
Tapper: so Dave are you going pass health
care or not?
Axelrod: yes we will crush the health care lobbyists! Maybe
Tapper: President Scott Brown (R-Cosmo) says you are a fascist for passing this bill - isn’t he right?
Axelrod: we’re trying to enact the same plan he never tried to repeal in Massachusetts
Tapper: but the American people hate the bill
Axelrod: no they don’t Jake - they hate the lies they’ve been told about the bill but when you ask them about provisions really in the plan they like it
Tapper: but the Poles!
Axelrod: screw those Slavic bastards
Tapper: ok
Axelrod: we’re not walking away from this
- we’re taking this fight to the next election
Tapper: no one wants health care reform
Axelrod: it will help the American people so
we’re doing it dammit
Tapper: so will you enact the bill this week or never?
Axelrod: people deserve an up or down vote
on this crappy bill no one likes
Tapper: what about the special deals for individual Senators - like Ben Nelson gets free hairpieces for life
Axelrod: that’s a good point Tapper - for example some states get special benefits if the entire state
is a disaster area but that could apply to every state in the South
Tapper: and Nebraska and Montana
Axelrod: and California, Alaska and Iraq
Tapper: will it reduce the deficit which is terribly important now that a Democrat is President?
Axelrod: sure why not
Tapper: will the House pass a bill on complete faith in the U.S. Senate which is not the greatest idea?
Axelrod: they have to Tapster
Tapper: I’m confused
Axelrod: we already had an up or down vote on
all these bills many times
Tapper: so you will ram Obama’s package down
our throats?
Axelrod: that’s exactly right Jake
Tapper: John Roberts says he felt threatened by a bunch of angry white Senators
Axelrod: yeah they’re a scary bunch alright
Tapper: but he was surrounded!
Axelrod: I could carve a judge out of a banana
and get better rulings
Tapper: Israel slapped Joe Biden in the face
Axelrod: They sure insulted Joe
Tapper: so what will be the consequences?
Axelrod: if they don’t apologize we will be forced to send Joe Biden there again and again
Tapper: do the new Israel settlements put U.S. lives at risk?
Axelrod: fuck Bibi - you don’t diss Barack Hussein Fucking Obama!
[ break ]
Tapper: Lindsey you say reconciliation is fascist
but you voted for reconciliation when it suited you
Graham: yes but health care affects one sixth
of the economy
Tapper: and Bush tax cuts don’t?
Graham: this is completely different after all we
have a black Democratic President now
Tapper: The Democrats say the people want this bill
Graham: the American people are just sick of
this crap
Tapper: meaning what?
Graham: they’re going to cut Medicare!
Tapper: you’re the President’s best friend - is Obama committed to immigration?
Graham: no he doesn’t meet with Republicans every day - it’s so sad
Tapper: what should be do
Graham: let Senator Obama propose a bill and I
will decide whether or not to veto it
Tapper: where is the leadership from John McCain
Graham: give the old man a break - he’s being primaried by a lunatic
Tapper: to be fair last time the GOP killed the immigration bill!
Graham: no that’s not fair - Obama is a sleazy black man cheating and is going to use a trick which we used to use all the time
Tapper: if a Republican works with Obama the teabaggers will kill them
Graham: this Obama character President is arrogant and uppity - who the hell does this black guy think he is?
Tapper: Sen Inhofe says if we close Gitmo swarthy terrorists will run for office in America and install Shaira law in our elementary schools
Graham: we need new laws to suspend the rule
of law in America
Tapper: but then we won’t have any laws at all
Graham: right - we need a legal framework to treat terrorists as warriors
Tapper: how odd
Graham: Gitmo is recruitment tool for terrorists
Tapper: so it’s a threat to American troops?
Graham: yes closing it is still a tough call - we should stop arguing about it since the one thing we can all agree on is that we have arrogant uppity black man in the White House
Tapper: thanks for coming Lindy
***********************
posted by Culture of Truth
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Meet The Press with Sec. Sebelius - March 7, 2010
March 7, 2010
Guests:
Kathleen Sebelius (Sec. Of HHS)
Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT)
Harold Ford
E.J. Dionne
Rich Lowry
***********************
Gregory: Kathy I hate health care reform and
I’m willing to lie to defeat it
Sebelius : we all know that
Gregory: it is a fact that Americans don’t like Obama’s health reforms
Sebelius : it’s fact that you’re a fucking liar
Gregory: [ fluffs hair ]
Sebelius : did you know that people are suffering and Fluffy if people are so goddamm happy with their health insurance do you think they are happy with 40% increases in premiums?
Gregory: I saw a guy on the street who told me
that Obama will fail
Sebelius : I really don’t give a shit about your so-called facts Dancin Dave
Gregory: it’s a really important point whether if this isn’t enacted by Easter Obama will just let it go
Sebelius : good god you are infathomably shallow
Gregory: Easter - yes or no?!?
Sebelius : I officially have total contempt for you
Gregory: Is Obama’s agenda at stake??!
Sebelius : no dimwit - what’s at peril is
America’s health
Gregory: what mistakes has Obama made?
Sebelius : he underestimated your stupidity?
Gregory: anything else
Sebelius : well we need to sell the evil of
insurance companies better
Gregory: you didn’t communicate to the people
Sebelius : right - we spend months assuring the public we weren’t actually going to kill old people
Gregory: Obama wants to control costs but I talked to anonymous Republicans and Warren Buffet
said it doesn’t do that!
Sebelius : calm down Fluffy
Gregory: but why not just do what the GOP wants?
Sebelius : yeah RomneyCare worked great
Gregory: Big Shoulders are covered
Sebelius : idiot
Gregory: you don’t deal with tort reform!
Sebelius : that’s a lie Greggers
Gregory: but not malpractice reform!
Sebelius : that’s another lie
Gregory: but you can’t possibly disagree with
Saint Warren of the Buffet
Sebelius : brace yourself Fluffy - I do disagree
with the richest man in America on the need for guaranteed health care
Gregory: [ falls on fainting couch ]
Sebelius : I heard you were a moron
Gregory: but the Mayo Clinic says this will probably work but where are the guarantees??
Sebelius : look stupid we know prevention and technology reduce costs
Gregory: will a future Congress really raise taxes?
Sebelius : sure why not
Gregory: Stupak wants to ban health care for wimmins health
Sebelius : we’re not going to pay for abortions I promise!!
Gregory: how do you get President Stupak’s vote?
Sebelius : persuade him by putting a pony head
in his bed
Gregory: really??
Sebelius : no Bart’s just misinformed
Gregory: so you maintain he’s just an idiot
Sebelius : yes - you’d like him
[ break ]
Gregory: so right wingers - what will happen
with ObamaCare?
Hatch: the Founding Fathers wanted one Senator to stop all action therefore Obama is a fascist
EJ Dionne: Dems must pass this because they have to show they can get shit done and also it’s necessary for the future of America
Gregory: President Obama how do you get
the votes?
Ford: I’m Harold Ford
Gregory: what?!?!
Ford: I was just walking around outside and
your producer grabbed me
Gregory: oh well close enough
Ford: we need to win over Republicans!
Gregory: we know all we need to know - the American people hate this bill
Lowry: the Democrats will be destroyed if this
bill passes!!
Gregory: so so so true
Lowry: Tom Daschle said we should be like Australia
Hatch: to pass a bill with a majority vote is Nazisocialisfascicomminsim!!!
Gregory: please elaborate
Hatch: reconciliation has never been used to pass this bill before
Gregory: oh noe!
Hatch: it’s sweeping and therefore terrible!!
Gregory: that’s shocking!!
Hatch: it’s 2,700 pages [ sobs ]
Dionne: Orrin I can’t tell if you are lying or are completely insane
Gregory: elaborate?
Hatch: Bush always ignored polls and used reconciliation to pass tax cuts!
Hatch: Katie Bar the Door!!!
Dionne: good god
Lowry: Jesus Orrin shut the fuck up
Ford: Nobody fucking cares about the
goddam process
Gregory: but Warren Buffet says Obama doesn’t cuts cost!
Hatch: Obama didn’t invite me to his birthday party!!!
[ starts sobbing ]
Gregory: it’s a such a cruel twist than a right-wing idiot from Tennessee can’t run for the Senate from New York without being mocked
Ford: I’ve been in New York for 60 days and I can assure you that we need to cut taxes
Gregory: fascinating
Gregory: who threatened you Harold?
Ford: I keep getting questioned about gays and stuff when in New York what people really care about is electing a bland corporate shill from Tennessee
Gregory: so why not run?
Ford: it turns out I would criticized and that’s unacceptable
Gregory: should Gov. Paterson step down?
Ford: hell yes - let me be Governor!
Gregory: Rich Lowry what does it mean for Democrats that I hate them?
Lowry: it’s so sad that everyone hates Democrats
Gregory: Orrin Hatch I noticed your party is full
of racists
Hatch: no there are good blacks like Harold Ford here
Ford: yay me!
Dionne: when Ford runs for Senate from Tennessee he can use that endorsement!
Ford: wow good idea E.J.
Gregory: E.J. are the Democrats doomed?
Dionne: the bill will be fucking popular Fluffy
Gregory: hey Orrin there’s violence all over Iraq
Hatch: see this proves invading Iraq was a great idea because there’s a chance this country can survive the Bush reign of terror
Gregory: so you think Iraq can survive?
Hatch: I was talking about the U.S.
**********************
Guests:
Kathleen Sebelius (Sec. Of HHS)
Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT)
Harold Ford
E.J. Dionne
Rich Lowry
***********************
Gregory: Kathy I hate health care reform and
I’m willing to lie to defeat it
Sebelius : we all know that
Gregory: it is a fact that Americans don’t like Obama’s health reforms
Sebelius : it’s fact that you’re a fucking liar
Gregory: [ fluffs hair ]
Sebelius : did you know that people are suffering and Fluffy if people are so goddamm happy with their health insurance do you think they are happy with 40% increases in premiums?
Gregory: I saw a guy on the street who told me
that Obama will fail
Sebelius : I really don’t give a shit about your so-called facts Dancin Dave
Gregory: it’s a really important point whether if this isn’t enacted by Easter Obama will just let it go
Sebelius : good god you are infathomably shallow
Gregory: Easter - yes or no?!?
Sebelius : I officially have total contempt for you
Gregory: Is Obama’s agenda at stake??!
Sebelius : no dimwit - what’s at peril is
America’s health
Gregory: what mistakes has Obama made?
Sebelius : he underestimated your stupidity?
Gregory: anything else
Sebelius : well we need to sell the evil of
insurance companies better
Gregory: you didn’t communicate to the people
Sebelius : right - we spend months assuring the public we weren’t actually going to kill old people
Gregory: Obama wants to control costs but I talked to anonymous Republicans and Warren Buffet
said it doesn’t do that!
Sebelius : calm down Fluffy
Gregory: but why not just do what the GOP wants?
Sebelius : yeah RomneyCare worked great
Gregory: Big Shoulders are covered
Sebelius : idiot
Gregory: you don’t deal with tort reform!
Sebelius : that’s a lie Greggers
Gregory: but not malpractice reform!
Sebelius : that’s another lie
Gregory: but you can’t possibly disagree with
Saint Warren of the Buffet
Sebelius : brace yourself Fluffy - I do disagree
with the richest man in America on the need for guaranteed health care
Gregory: [ falls on fainting couch ]
Sebelius : I heard you were a moron
Gregory: but the Mayo Clinic says this will probably work but where are the guarantees??
Sebelius : look stupid we know prevention and technology reduce costs
Gregory: will a future Congress really raise taxes?
Sebelius : sure why not
Gregory: Stupak wants to ban health care for wimmins health
Sebelius : we’re not going to pay for abortions I promise!!
Gregory: how do you get President Stupak’s vote?
Sebelius : persuade him by putting a pony head
in his bed
Gregory: really??
Sebelius : no Bart’s just misinformed
Gregory: so you maintain he’s just an idiot
Sebelius : yes - you’d like him
[ break ]
Gregory: so right wingers - what will happen
with ObamaCare?
Hatch: the Founding Fathers wanted one Senator to stop all action therefore Obama is a fascist
EJ Dionne: Dems must pass this because they have to show they can get shit done and also it’s necessary for the future of America
Gregory: President Obama how do you get
the votes?
Ford: I’m Harold Ford
Gregory: what?!?!
Ford: I was just walking around outside and
your producer grabbed me
Gregory: oh well close enough
Ford: we need to win over Republicans!
Gregory: we know all we need to know - the American people hate this bill
Lowry: the Democrats will be destroyed if this
bill passes!!
Gregory: so so so true
Lowry: Tom Daschle said we should be like Australia
Hatch: to pass a bill with a majority vote is Nazisocialisfascicomminsim!!!
Gregory: please elaborate
Hatch: reconciliation has never been used to pass this bill before
Gregory: oh noe!
Hatch: it’s sweeping and therefore terrible!!
Gregory: that’s shocking!!
Hatch: it’s 2,700 pages [ sobs ]
Dionne: Orrin I can’t tell if you are lying or are completely insane
Gregory: elaborate?
Hatch: Bush always ignored polls and used reconciliation to pass tax cuts!
Hatch: Katie Bar the Door!!!
Dionne: good god
Lowry: Jesus Orrin shut the fuck up
Ford: Nobody fucking cares about the
goddam process
Gregory: but Warren Buffet says Obama doesn’t cuts cost!
Hatch: Obama didn’t invite me to his birthday party!!!
[ starts sobbing ]
Gregory: it’s a such a cruel twist than a right-wing idiot from Tennessee can’t run for the Senate from New York without being mocked
Ford: I’ve been in New York for 60 days and I can assure you that we need to cut taxes
Gregory: fascinating
Gregory: who threatened you Harold?
Ford: I keep getting questioned about gays and stuff when in New York what people really care about is electing a bland corporate shill from Tennessee
Gregory: so why not run?
Ford: it turns out I would criticized and that’s unacceptable
Gregory: should Gov. Paterson step down?
Ford: hell yes - let me be Governor!
Gregory: Rich Lowry what does it mean for Democrats that I hate them?
Lowry: it’s so sad that everyone hates Democrats
Gregory: Orrin Hatch I noticed your party is full
of racists
Hatch: no there are good blacks like Harold Ford here
Ford: yay me!
Dionne: when Ford runs for Senate from Tennessee he can use that endorsement!
Ford: wow good idea E.J.
Gregory: E.J. are the Democrats doomed?
Dionne: the bill will be fucking popular Fluffy
Gregory: hey Orrin there’s violence all over Iraq
Hatch: see this proves invading Iraq was a great idea because there’s a chance this country can survive the Bush reign of terror
Gregory: so you think Iraq can survive?
Hatch: I was talking about the U.S.
**********************
The Chris Matthews Show - March 7, 2010
Guests:
Dan Rather
Andrea Mitchell
Katty Kay
Joe Klein
*************************
Matthews: OMG Obama should never have
tried reform health care!!!
Rather: three words: bad bad bad jobs jobs jobs
Mitchell: Pelosi has to persuade Dennis Kucinich and Bart Stupak to vote for the same bill - how do you do that??
Klein: Nancy is really good at whipping people
Matthews: how do you get the fetus-Americans
on board
Kay: the pr- life Dems will derail all health care in
order to limit women’s rights
Mitchell: the Hyde Abides!
Klein: the good news is private insurers will not cover abortion -- they’d rather cover a baby for
the next 26 years
Rather: it’s socialism like a cactus in the morning
Mitchell: it’s a government takeover of health care
[ sobs ]
Kay: it’s possible this bill won’t result in genocide
Matthews: whoa!
Kay: if this doesn’t pass the GOP will have a
better issue than if it does
Klein: the elderly care about donuts
Matthews: Does Obama get a bill?
Kay: yes
Rather: yes but it in the bank and put a lock on it
and smack it on the griddle
Mitchell: yes or else Obama will resign
Klein: yes
Matthews: a great triumph for Pelosi!
Klein: nah
Rather: the GOP will say Obama is a nice person although he succeeded in passing health care Obama had to try too hard to do it and Obama
can’t sell watermelons to the NAACP
Matthews: only Teddy Roosevelt could create
the Panama canal!
Matthews: HA! Look JFK was an Indian and Nixon played the piano!
Teabaggers: Elitist!!!
[ break ]
Matthews: Karl Rove admitted that WMD was a lying sales pitch to trick America is supporting their phony war!
Rather: you can send that dog to hunt but you can’t make it a ballet dancer
Mitchell: they say they didn’t lie about WMD but it turns out they are lying about that too
Kay: They lied to get us into a fucking war!!!!
Klein: Dick Cheney didn’t do the due diligence because he’s an idiot and a vampire
Mitchell: Cheney’s book will go after his critics and Bush’s book will connect the dots
Matthews: ooh it will reveal all the connections between Iraq and terror?
Mitchell: no it’s a children’s book idiot
Matthews: will Bush’s book explain his other disasters like the economy?
Mitchelll: and Katrina
Matthews: oh right - forgot about that one
Klein: Bush’s book will make people love him
Matthews: Bush is really a mensch
Bush [watching at home]: hey laura what’s a mench??
Laura: that’s nice dear
*****************
Dan Rather
Andrea Mitchell
Katty Kay
Joe Klein
*************************
Matthews: OMG Obama should never have
tried reform health care!!!
Rather: three words: bad bad bad jobs jobs jobs
Mitchell: Pelosi has to persuade Dennis Kucinich and Bart Stupak to vote for the same bill - how do you do that??
Klein: Nancy is really good at whipping people
Matthews: how do you get the fetus-Americans
on board
Kay: the pr- life Dems will derail all health care in
order to limit women’s rights
Mitchell: the Hyde Abides!
Klein: the good news is private insurers will not cover abortion -- they’d rather cover a baby for
the next 26 years
Rather: it’s socialism like a cactus in the morning
Mitchell: it’s a government takeover of health care
[ sobs ]
Kay: it’s possible this bill won’t result in genocide
Matthews: whoa!
Kay: if this doesn’t pass the GOP will have a
better issue than if it does
Klein: the elderly care about donuts
Matthews: Does Obama get a bill?
Kay: yes
Rather: yes but it in the bank and put a lock on it
and smack it on the griddle
Mitchell: yes or else Obama will resign
Klein: yes
Matthews: a great triumph for Pelosi!
Klein: nah
Rather: the GOP will say Obama is a nice person although he succeeded in passing health care Obama had to try too hard to do it and Obama
can’t sell watermelons to the NAACP
Matthews: only Teddy Roosevelt could create
the Panama canal!
Matthews: HA! Look JFK was an Indian and Nixon played the piano!
Teabaggers: Elitist!!!
[ break ]
Matthews: Karl Rove admitted that WMD was a lying sales pitch to trick America is supporting their phony war!
Rather: you can send that dog to hunt but you can’t make it a ballet dancer
Mitchell: they say they didn’t lie about WMD but it turns out they are lying about that too
Kay: They lied to get us into a fucking war!!!!
Klein: Dick Cheney didn’t do the due diligence because he’s an idiot and a vampire
Mitchell: Cheney’s book will go after his critics and Bush’s book will connect the dots
Matthews: ooh it will reveal all the connections between Iraq and terror?
Mitchell: no it’s a children’s book idiot
Matthews: will Bush’s book explain his other disasters like the economy?
Mitchelll: and Katrina
Matthews: oh right - forgot about that one
Klein: Bush’s book will make people love him
Matthews: Bush is really a mensch
Bush [watching at home]: hey laura what’s a mench??
Laura: that’s nice dear
*****************
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