Guests:
Tim Geithner - Sec. of Treasury
Marc Morial
Anita Dunn
E.J. Dionne
David Brooks
Rick Santelli
*******************
Gregory: Tim will things get worse before
they get better?
Geithner: sure but we’re seeing positive signs
and I think most unemployed Americans get that
and sympathize with us
Gregory: oh no doubt
Geithner: look we lived beyond our means for
years but now the party is over and it’s time to sober and pick up the beer cans and passed out drunks
off the lawn
Gregory: will we have another recession?
Geithner: well if we did that would make me look
like an idiot Greggers
Gregory: where are all the jobs?
Geithner: there’s a lot of pent up demand - the economy is like teenage boy ready to explode
Gregory: but those boys have no confidence
Geithner: we have to massage the economy
and buck them up!
Gregory: why not stimulate more?
Geithner: we’re in a transition period
Gregory: so no more stimulus?
Geithner: we can’t deal a stimulus now since we have high unemployment
Gregory: um that was my point Timster
Geithner: government must transition from doing something about the economy to not caring as usual
Gregory: why not pay for unemployment benefits like we do for wars and tax cuts for the rich
Geithner: because that’s fucking stupid Fluffy
Gregory: that’s an outrageous implication
Geithner: it won’t add to the debt moron
Gregory: so why not a big giant stimulus to jump-start the economy?
Geithner: if we do that the Germans will mock me
at the next summit
Gregory: should bankers on welfare get
fat bonuses?
Geithner: yes but only this time and not again
Gregory: how can we prevent another crisis?
Geithner: this new law will add cushions to the economy
Gregory: sounds comfy
Gregory: does it bother you that 25% of our economy are useless fuckers running a giant casino
Geithner: not at all Fluffers
Gregory: how do you solve the housing crisis?
Geithner: lower interest rates and a modest mortgage modification program
Gregory: very very modest I should say
Geithner: well we don’t want to reinflate the
bubble Greggers
Gregory: so should we allow poor people to
own property?
Geithner: sure but in a carefully designed way so the peons and unwashed are not included
Gregory: will you raise taxes on the very rich?
Geithner: Look all those fucking teabaggers are so worried about the debt - well guess what we’re going to be responsible and raise taxes on the top 2%
Gregory: what’s a painful choice you’re willing make to tackle the debt?
Geithner: we’re going to cut spending and raise taxes on the rich
Gregory: what about something really really painful
Geithner: I came on your show
Gregory: Americans have seen their investments
go down and Obama is President
Geithner: they’re gone up since he became President liar
Gregory: [ grins ] well whatever
Geithner: deceitful bubblehead
Gregory: and now let’s talk about why the media can’t get basic facts right
[ break ]
Gregory: Barack Obama was going bring us a wonderful post-racial America - and he’s failed!!
[ grins ]
Shirley Sherrod was wrongly fired - a teachable moment? Do we another beer summit? Some observers say Obama could solve racial problems and others say he’s failed because we still act crazy when it comes to race
Gregory: this is all politically charged - what happened Marc?
Morial: I’ll tell you what happened - that fucker Breitbart yelled fire in a crowded theater
Gregory: I used to love that guy
Morial: we learned that Shirley Sherrod has a fascinating and teachable story and also let me
plug my upcoming conference
Gregory: Let me quote Maureen Dowd
Dunn: oh my god
Gregory: no Dowd has strong words for the
White House
Dunn: yeah maybe the NAACP needs an advisor on black relations too
Gregory: hah ok
Dunn: the media fucked up too Fluffy
Gregory: yes but Obama is insensitive on race
Dunn: jesus he wrote a whole book on race
Gregory: but Obama was supposed to get rid of racial problems
Dunn: look this unhinged lunatic tried to say the NAACP is a racist organization
Gregory: yeah that was funny
Dionne: holy fuck Sherrod gives a positive post-racial speech and the media is so fucking terrified of being called liberal they run with every right-wing story no matter how false and slimy
Brooks: I always check the facts unlike those horrible bloggers
Dunn: eat at an Applebee’s recently Brooksie?
Gregory: is the Tea Party really trying to convince people that Obama is a black racist and whites are the real victims of racism?
Santelli: sure there are a few racists in the Tea Party but only because the Tea Baggers are against welfare for lazy poor people who happen to be black
Gregory: why won’t Obama engage in race and solve racism in America!
Morial: Obama needs a black friend like
Stephen Colbert has
Gregory: that’s a good idea
Morial: the Tea Party compared Obama to the worst people in world history like Hitler, Lenin, Mao and Mel Gibson
Gregory: the left is just as bad!
Dionne: Hey Fluffy Fox News says Obama has a deep seated hatred of white people
Brooks: I have an anecdote - Black people love
the Tea Party
Gregory: Jim Webb helpfully used this moment to tell us that we should get rid of affirmative action and poor white people have suffered the most
Brooks: we live in a gotcha culture - why did people go after poor Tom Vilsack
Dunn: somehow I’m sure the media will find a way to blame Obama
Morial: meanwhile the Senate cut $1 billion in benefits this week
Gregory: what about poor white people?
Morial: yeah it’s real tragedy
Santelli: I just realized in January 2009 that the debt and the deficit is terrible!
Gregory: the stimulus isn’t working well enough
Brooks: people are very scared of the debt
since 2009
Gregory: interest rates are low so let’s borrow
and spend!
Santelli: yes but that could change
Gregory: but it hasn’t
Santelli: well look at Greece
Gregory: so what
Santelli: look we cut spending for all the little people
Gregory: why doesn’t Obama raise taxes on
poor people?
Dunn: because it’s stupid and would hurt
the economy
Gregory: but Democrats believe tax cuts are
a bad idea
Dunn: no liar Democrats voted for them and only believe excessive tax cuts for the rich should
be repealed
Gregory: Obama spoke to angry liberal bloggers this week by telling them he’s trying to keep his promise to let gays serve openly in Gitmo and Afghanistan
Dionne: jesus fuck the rich pay a lower tax rate than poor people do!
Brooks: as an economist I say we should think long term and give a tax credit for ignorant bullshit
Gregory: we’d all get rich!
Brooks: can I get an amen!
Gregory: Marc you’re black - how about
Charlie Rangel?
Morial: hey don’t rush to judgment on that corrupt fucker
Dunn: that’s right he may yet be acquitted of the charges he’s clearly guilty of
Gregory: Wise words indeed
***************************
Sunday, July 25, 2010
This Week with Tim Geithner and Chris Christie - July 25, 2010
July 25, 2010
******************************
Tapper: Timster will you keep the very expensive but awesome Bush tax cuts on the obscenely rich?
Geithner: we will cut taxes on 95% of the people
and raise taxes on the top 2% because the Tea Party want to cut the debt
Tapper: clever - but won’t that slow the growth in
the sales of gold plated toilets?
Geithner: it could but I’m not too worried Tapper
my ass is covered
Tapper: Blue Dogs are very worried about the deficit so they want to keep lower taxes on the
wealthiest 1%
Geithner: so so sad -- fuck ‘em
Tapper: what can you do to grow this economy?
Geithner: convince businesses to rehire people
Tapper: how so
Geithner: with my awesome charisma
Tapper: um do you have a backup plan?
Geithner: ha
Tapper: isn’t it terribly important to pay for unemployment benefits unlike everything else or future generations will be mad at us?
Geithner: no that’s idiotic
Tapper: shouldn’t we have less financial regulation since lack of regulation failed us before?
Geithner: no because the new law will allow the government write a strongly worded letter to businesses before they destroy America
Tapper: Liz Warren hates you but consumer groups love her
Geithner: she’s a sharp cookie I’ll give her that
Tapper: giant businesses on welfare are giving their employees free Lamborghinis
Geithner: that’s crazy we told them to buy American and get Cadillacs
Tapper: Auto companies had to take haircuts but bankers did not
Geithner: no the executives had to do that too
Tapper: Tim those were actual haircuts!
Geithner: well that’s what the financial regulation bill is for Jake
Tapper: did you learn anything from the Sherrod fuck-up?
Geithner: yeah never trust Fox news and their
evil minions
Tapper: my sister network - who knew?!
[ break ]
Tapper: Governor how in the hell did you win in
New Jersey?
Christie: I just promised lower taxes and common sense bullshit and people love that nonsense
Tapper: critics say you balanced the budget by just ignoring your funding obligations
Christie: no I cut spending that might have happened but didn’t
Tapper: like what?
Christie: we cut education spending that Corzine had blown
Tapper: that money from the federal government
Christie: look we’re broke so we’re cutting pensions
Tapper: you raised property taxes
Christie: no that’s shared sacrifice Jake
Tapper: it’s a shared tax increase big guy
Christie: I don’t see it that way
Tapper: do you hate teachers?
Christie: no I love teachers but they’re coddled and other unions are seeing their property taxes
going up
Tapper: you’re raising them!
Christie: stop saying that
Tapper: you come across as kind of a jerk
Christie: fuck you
Tapper: gimme straight talk - will join the lawsuit against health care reform?
Christie: dunno
Tapper: who do you say is demagoguing immigration?
Christie: secure our borders!
Tapper: has the GOP hurt their cause with immigrants?
Christie: maybe
Tapper: sounds like a yes
Christie: hey I’ve worked with Democrats in NJ so Obama can work with the loons in Washington
Tapper: speaking of crazies do you love the
“Jersey Shore”
Christie: no I hate that show - it’s a totally negative stereotype!
Tapper: what do you recommend?
Christie: The Sopranos
Tapper: right
*********************************
******************************
Tapper: Timster will you keep the very expensive but awesome Bush tax cuts on the obscenely rich?
Geithner: we will cut taxes on 95% of the people
and raise taxes on the top 2% because the Tea Party want to cut the debt
Tapper: clever - but won’t that slow the growth in
the sales of gold plated toilets?
Geithner: it could but I’m not too worried Tapper
my ass is covered
Tapper: Blue Dogs are very worried about the deficit so they want to keep lower taxes on the
wealthiest 1%
Geithner: so so sad -- fuck ‘em
Tapper: what can you do to grow this economy?
Geithner: convince businesses to rehire people
Tapper: how so
Geithner: with my awesome charisma
Tapper: um do you have a backup plan?
Geithner: ha
Tapper: isn’t it terribly important to pay for unemployment benefits unlike everything else or future generations will be mad at us?
Geithner: no that’s idiotic
Tapper: shouldn’t we have less financial regulation since lack of regulation failed us before?
Geithner: no because the new law will allow the government write a strongly worded letter to businesses before they destroy America
Tapper: Liz Warren hates you but consumer groups love her
Geithner: she’s a sharp cookie I’ll give her that
Tapper: giant businesses on welfare are giving their employees free Lamborghinis
Geithner: that’s crazy we told them to buy American and get Cadillacs
Tapper: Auto companies had to take haircuts but bankers did not
Geithner: no the executives had to do that too
Tapper: Tim those were actual haircuts!
Geithner: well that’s what the financial regulation bill is for Jake
Tapper: did you learn anything from the Sherrod fuck-up?
Geithner: yeah never trust Fox news and their
evil minions
Tapper: my sister network - who knew?!
[ break ]
Tapper: Governor how in the hell did you win in
New Jersey?
Christie: I just promised lower taxes and common sense bullshit and people love that nonsense
Tapper: critics say you balanced the budget by just ignoring your funding obligations
Christie: no I cut spending that might have happened but didn’t
Tapper: like what?
Christie: we cut education spending that Corzine had blown
Tapper: that money from the federal government
Christie: look we’re broke so we’re cutting pensions
Tapper: you raised property taxes
Christie: no that’s shared sacrifice Jake
Tapper: it’s a shared tax increase big guy
Christie: I don’t see it that way
Tapper: do you hate teachers?
Christie: no I love teachers but they’re coddled and other unions are seeing their property taxes
going up
Tapper: you’re raising them!
Christie: stop saying that
Tapper: you come across as kind of a jerk
Christie: fuck you
Tapper: gimme straight talk - will join the lawsuit against health care reform?
Christie: dunno
Tapper: who do you say is demagoguing immigration?
Christie: secure our borders!
Tapper: has the GOP hurt their cause with immigrants?
Christie: maybe
Tapper: sounds like a yes
Christie: hey I’ve worked with Democrats in NJ so Obama can work with the loons in Washington
Tapper: speaking of crazies do you love the
“Jersey Shore”
Christie: no I hate that show - it’s a totally negative stereotype!
Tapper: what do you recommend?
Christie: The Sopranos
Tapper: right
*********************************
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Meet The Press - July 18, 2010
July 18, 2010
Guests:
Sen. Robert Menendez (D-NJ)
Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX)
Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD)
Rep. Sessions
Gregory: Will Republicans win in the fall?
Cornyn: yes because Obama is socialist and
the economy sucks
Gregory: True but the GOP did crash the economy
Cornyn: no Nancy Pelosi wrecked America beginning in 2007
Menendez: that’s fucking hilarious
Van Hollen: I can’t wait the GOP to run on repealing health care and financial regulation
Cornyn: they forced this black President and his socialist ideas down our throats
Gregory: OMG Robert Gibbs said the Democrats could lose the House - this will have a great impact on all the races!
Van Hollen: do you really think that anyone outside the Beltway noticed what he said
Gregory: oh yes!
Van Hollen: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: but House Dems are mad at Obama
Van Hollen: The GOP has decided to carp and
whine like little babies until the fall
Gregory: Remember how awesome Newt Gingrich and the Contract with America was? That was
so awesome
Cornyn: Obama never sought Republican support
Menendez: you’ve got to be fucking kidding
Cornyn: Obama is a job-killer!
Menendez: almost like Bush!
Cornyn: unemployed people are very concerned about the debt
Gregory: polls say Obama hasn’t created enough jobs to recover from the Bush recession
Menendez: we are still trying to fix the epic
disaster that was the Bush Presidency
Gregory: But Obama has lost white men - who are very practical and only care about things like whether Obama can fix oil spills by himself
Van Hollen: we lost jobs for 8 fucking years -
why would these so-called practical voters want to
go back to that?
Sessions: that’s not true - some people had jobs
in the Bush years but everyone in America is now unemployed
Gregory: fascinating
Sessions: we must cut taxes and repeal health
care which will bankrupt America
Gregory: what is your basic message?
Sessions: cut taxes, cut spending and run against the Black Panthers
Van Hollen: holy shit they really want to go back
to the Bush years - except they also want to apologize to BP
Gregory: wasn’t spending out of control when Bush was President?
Cornyn: no because debt is very high now
Gregory: Bush ran up that debt
Cornyn: yes but Obama is almost as bad as Bush which is very bad
Gregory: but if we return to Bush policies it
will get worse
Cornyn: yes but Obama is a black Kenyan Socialist
Menendez: Go ahead America - vote Republican -
I dare you
Gregory: Because I worship Politico and hate Obama so I have to ask - why is Obama so bad?
Van Hollen: Hey Fluffy - the Republicans won’t even cut taxes for the middle class
Gregory: oh
Van Hollen: is they are so fucking concerned for the debt why don’t they repeal the Bush tax cuts??
Menendez: I am so tired of these Republican assholes and their fucking hypocrisy and lies
Gregory: what does the Republican party stand for?
Sessions: we need to live within our means - now that we are in a recession we must slash spending
Gregory: what will you cut?
Sessions: we will balance the budget
Gregory: how?
Sessions: by cutting a lot
Gregory: cut what?
Sessions: empower people and business
Gregory: what the fuck are you planning on doing??
Cornyn: we’re waiting for the Obama’s blue ribbon commission
Gregory: why do you need Obama’s permission to decide what your plan is?
Cornyn: he’s a scary black man
Gregory: will you repeal health care reform?
Cornyn: yes we will replace it with common sense
Gregory: how about repealing financial regulation?
Cornyn: we will replace ideology will common sense
Gregory: truly you have series of unassailably brilliant ideas
Menendez: jeebus these people are idiots
Van Hollen: 8 years of GOP policies and we lost jobs - good luck with that fuckers
Gregory: but some people do prefer Republicans
Van Hollen: sure people who want to do away
with Social Security
Gregory: Is the Tea Party a bunch of dangerous racists?
Cornyn: tha’s slanderous - the Teabaggers are former couch-bound patriotic wackos who want
their country back
Gregory: I see
Cornyn: they are unemployed weirdos worried
about runaway spending - look at the trouble
Harry Reid is in
Gregory: he was in trouble until people learned Sharron Angle supports an armed rebellion
Session: the Tea Partiers are actually Democrats who are against debt and in favor of lower taxes
on the rich
Van Hollen: the good news is they are energized - the bad news is the Tea Parties want to repeal the Civil Rights Act and force people to bring a
chicken to the doctor
Gregory: who wins in the fall?
Cornyn: I dunno
Menendez: Dems big time
Sessions: maybe GOP
Van Hollen: heh - I will put it out there Democrats
all the way
************
Guests:
Sen. Robert Menendez (D-NJ)
Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX)
Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD)
Rep. Sessions
Gregory: Will Republicans win in the fall?
Cornyn: yes because Obama is socialist and
the economy sucks
Gregory: True but the GOP did crash the economy
Cornyn: no Nancy Pelosi wrecked America beginning in 2007
Menendez: that’s fucking hilarious
Van Hollen: I can’t wait the GOP to run on repealing health care and financial regulation
Cornyn: they forced this black President and his socialist ideas down our throats
Gregory: OMG Robert Gibbs said the Democrats could lose the House - this will have a great impact on all the races!
Van Hollen: do you really think that anyone outside the Beltway noticed what he said
Gregory: oh yes!
Van Hollen: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: but House Dems are mad at Obama
Van Hollen: The GOP has decided to carp and
whine like little babies until the fall
Gregory: Remember how awesome Newt Gingrich and the Contract with America was? That was
so awesome
Cornyn: Obama never sought Republican support
Menendez: you’ve got to be fucking kidding
Cornyn: Obama is a job-killer!
Menendez: almost like Bush!
Cornyn: unemployed people are very concerned about the debt
Gregory: polls say Obama hasn’t created enough jobs to recover from the Bush recession
Menendez: we are still trying to fix the epic
disaster that was the Bush Presidency
Gregory: But Obama has lost white men - who are very practical and only care about things like whether Obama can fix oil spills by himself
Van Hollen: we lost jobs for 8 fucking years -
why would these so-called practical voters want to
go back to that?
Sessions: that’s not true - some people had jobs
in the Bush years but everyone in America is now unemployed
Gregory: fascinating
Sessions: we must cut taxes and repeal health
care which will bankrupt America
Gregory: what is your basic message?
Sessions: cut taxes, cut spending and run against the Black Panthers
Van Hollen: holy shit they really want to go back
to the Bush years - except they also want to apologize to BP
Gregory: wasn’t spending out of control when Bush was President?
Cornyn: no because debt is very high now
Gregory: Bush ran up that debt
Cornyn: yes but Obama is almost as bad as Bush which is very bad
Gregory: but if we return to Bush policies it
will get worse
Cornyn: yes but Obama is a black Kenyan Socialist
Menendez: Go ahead America - vote Republican -
I dare you
Gregory: Because I worship Politico and hate Obama so I have to ask - why is Obama so bad?
Van Hollen: Hey Fluffy - the Republicans won’t even cut taxes for the middle class
Gregory: oh
Van Hollen: is they are so fucking concerned for the debt why don’t they repeal the Bush tax cuts??
Menendez: I am so tired of these Republican assholes and their fucking hypocrisy and lies
Gregory: what does the Republican party stand for?
Sessions: we need to live within our means - now that we are in a recession we must slash spending
Gregory: what will you cut?
Sessions: we will balance the budget
Gregory: how?
Sessions: by cutting a lot
Gregory: cut what?
Sessions: empower people and business
Gregory: what the fuck are you planning on doing??
Cornyn: we’re waiting for the Obama’s blue ribbon commission
Gregory: why do you need Obama’s permission to decide what your plan is?
Cornyn: he’s a scary black man
Gregory: will you repeal health care reform?
Cornyn: yes we will replace it with common sense
Gregory: how about repealing financial regulation?
Cornyn: we will replace ideology will common sense
Gregory: truly you have series of unassailably brilliant ideas
Menendez: jeebus these people are idiots
Van Hollen: 8 years of GOP policies and we lost jobs - good luck with that fuckers
Gregory: but some people do prefer Republicans
Van Hollen: sure people who want to do away
with Social Security
Gregory: Is the Tea Party a bunch of dangerous racists?
Cornyn: tha’s slanderous - the Teabaggers are former couch-bound patriotic wackos who want
their country back
Gregory: I see
Cornyn: they are unemployed weirdos worried
about runaway spending - look at the trouble
Harry Reid is in
Gregory: he was in trouble until people learned Sharron Angle supports an armed rebellion
Session: the Tea Partiers are actually Democrats who are against debt and in favor of lower taxes
on the rich
Van Hollen: the good news is they are energized - the bad news is the Tea Parties want to repeal the Civil Rights Act and force people to bring a
chicken to the doctor
Gregory: who wins in the fall?
Cornyn: I dunno
Menendez: Dems big time
Sessions: maybe GOP
Van Hollen: heh - I will put it out there Democrats
all the way
************
This Week with Jake Tapper and Joe Biden - July 18, 2010
July 18, 2010
Guest:
Vice President Joe Biden
*******************
Tapper: You’ve accomplished a lot but people
are still really unhappy
Biden: we have meat inspection so Financial Regulation like that but we’ll people inspecting Goldman Sachs’ meat
Tapper: I see
Biden: it will take time for people to like us
Tapper: can you do it by November?
Biden: considering the Republicans are fucking insane - yes
Tapper: are you calling the American people stupid?
Biden: Bush lost 8 million jobs and we’re adding
jobs slowly but surely
Tapper: really?
Biden: I sit around the kitchen table and people
just want to know their President isn’t a muslim socialist black panther
Tapper: Is he?
Biden: no we’ve made this clear - he is not a muslim
Tapper: oh ok
Biden: it will just take time to explain what are in
the 1,000 page bills
Tapper: how bad will Democratic losses be in the fall
Biden: I have been sent out to repudiate Bob Gibbs - we’re going to the House and Senate!
Tapper: are you sure?
Biden: Look at Harry Reid - people thought he was dead until the Republicans nominated a psychotic
Tapper: good point
Tapper: is the Tea Party racist?
Biden: of course it is
Tapper: really?
Biden: no of course I have to say it isn’t a racist party - it’s merely party full of racists
Tapper: why are there no jobs?
Biden: It’s France’s fault
Tapper: Merde!
Tapper: Was the stimulus too small?
Biden: Well the Administration, Republicans,
Paul Krugman and Atrios thinks so
Tapper: and they were right!
Biden: Duh - but the Republican wouldn’t let us have a bigger one
Tapper: that’s sad
Biden: Wind! Solar! Supertrains!
Tapper: Exciting!
Biden: We’re creating jobs - not fast enough maybe but we are
Tapper: Are we going to withdraw from
Afghanistan or not?
Biden: Fuck yes! Bet. On. It.!!
Tapper: I’m suspicious
Biden: We’re going to pull out province by province
Tapper: Ok
Biden: Really I was telling the military to suck it up
Tapper: I just remember I wanted to ask you another question - what the fuck are we doing there??
Biden: Sure Jake people are being killed but that’s the lack of foliage
Tapper: Did you say fucking foliage??
Biden: Yes Osama is hiding behind some
very big trees
Tapper: Good god
Tapper: McChrystal called you Joe Bite Me
Biden: I like him because he didn’t let the door hit his ass when Obama canned that insubordinate fucker
Tapper: you didn’t take it personally?
Biden: oh no - I just told Barack to shitcan him
Tapper: Why did he hate you?
Biden: Because I don’t take a lot of shit from a bunch of preening Generals who think they are the reincarnation of George fucking Patton
Tapper: The Iraq Parliament met for 20 minutes
Biden: that’s great
Tapper: were you right that the country should be divided into three parts
Biden: yes - it’s totally fucked there
Tapper: but we’re staying
Biden: sure politics has broken out - it’s a big fucking deal!
Tapper: but it’s not working
Biden: Hey it’s took the Dutch 6 months to form
a government
Tapper: got another example?
Biden: the Netherlands too 270 days!
Tapper: that’s the same country Joe
Biden: and they have hash bars!
Tapper: what’s the larger strategy to combat islamofascism?
Biden: Build strong pro-American countries
Tapper: so going to the muslim world to build nations will make them love us
Biden: Obama can talk to them as a fellow muslim
Tapper: I thought you said he wasn’t a muslim
Biden: oh right - I meant he wasn’t a socialist
Tapper: well that much is obvious
Biden: I love me some Tapper
********************
Guest:
Vice President Joe Biden
*******************
Tapper: You’ve accomplished a lot but people
are still really unhappy
Biden: we have meat inspection so Financial Regulation like that but we’ll people inspecting Goldman Sachs’ meat
Tapper: I see
Biden: it will take time for people to like us
Tapper: can you do it by November?
Biden: considering the Republicans are fucking insane - yes
Tapper: are you calling the American people stupid?
Biden: Bush lost 8 million jobs and we’re adding
jobs slowly but surely
Tapper: really?
Biden: I sit around the kitchen table and people
just want to know their President isn’t a muslim socialist black panther
Tapper: Is he?
Biden: no we’ve made this clear - he is not a muslim
Tapper: oh ok
Biden: it will just take time to explain what are in
the 1,000 page bills
Tapper: how bad will Democratic losses be in the fall
Biden: I have been sent out to repudiate Bob Gibbs - we’re going to the House and Senate!
Tapper: are you sure?
Biden: Look at Harry Reid - people thought he was dead until the Republicans nominated a psychotic
Tapper: good point
Tapper: is the Tea Party racist?
Biden: of course it is
Tapper: really?
Biden: no of course I have to say it isn’t a racist party - it’s merely party full of racists
Tapper: why are there no jobs?
Biden: It’s France’s fault
Tapper: Merde!
Tapper: Was the stimulus too small?
Biden: Well the Administration, Republicans,
Paul Krugman and Atrios thinks so
Tapper: and they were right!
Biden: Duh - but the Republican wouldn’t let us have a bigger one
Tapper: that’s sad
Biden: Wind! Solar! Supertrains!
Tapper: Exciting!
Biden: We’re creating jobs - not fast enough maybe but we are
Tapper: Are we going to withdraw from
Afghanistan or not?
Biden: Fuck yes! Bet. On. It.!!
Tapper: I’m suspicious
Biden: We’re going to pull out province by province
Tapper: Ok
Biden: Really I was telling the military to suck it up
Tapper: I just remember I wanted to ask you another question - what the fuck are we doing there??
Biden: Sure Jake people are being killed but that’s the lack of foliage
Tapper: Did you say fucking foliage??
Biden: Yes Osama is hiding behind some
very big trees
Tapper: Good god
Tapper: McChrystal called you Joe Bite Me
Biden: I like him because he didn’t let the door hit his ass when Obama canned that insubordinate fucker
Tapper: you didn’t take it personally?
Biden: oh no - I just told Barack to shitcan him
Tapper: Why did he hate you?
Biden: Because I don’t take a lot of shit from a bunch of preening Generals who think they are the reincarnation of George fucking Patton
Tapper: The Iraq Parliament met for 20 minutes
Biden: that’s great
Tapper: were you right that the country should be divided into three parts
Biden: yes - it’s totally fucked there
Tapper: but we’re staying
Biden: sure politics has broken out - it’s a big fucking deal!
Tapper: but it’s not working
Biden: Hey it’s took the Dutch 6 months to form
a government
Tapper: got another example?
Biden: the Netherlands too 270 days!
Tapper: that’s the same country Joe
Biden: and they have hash bars!
Tapper: what’s the larger strategy to combat islamofascism?
Biden: Build strong pro-American countries
Tapper: so going to the muslim world to build nations will make them love us
Biden: Obama can talk to them as a fellow muslim
Tapper: I thought you said he wasn’t a muslim
Biden: oh right - I meant he wasn’t a socialist
Tapper: well that much is obvious
Biden: I love me some Tapper
********************
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Meet The Press with Robert Gibbs - July 11, 2010
July 11, 2010
Guests:
Robert Gibbs (White House Press Secretary)
Rachel Maddow
Harold Ford
Ed Gillespie
David Brooks
*************************
Gregory: Bob how is the inability to stop the
BP oil gusher going?
Gibbs: well we still haven’t been able to do anything about it but we built this nifty shoe-phone
Gregory: are you confident in BP’s handling
of the situation
Gibbs: I’ve never met a bigger bunch of schmucks - and I worked on transition from the
Bush administration
Gregory: Obama says Republicans created the
mess that is the Obama administration
Gibbs: that’s right
Gregory: people think America is on the wrong track
Gibbs: in the last 6 months of 2008 the US lost 3 million jobs and now Obama is finally creating jobs
Gregory: yeah but things are still bad
Gibbs: Obama is going to visit the plant that supplies the batteries for the Mitt Romney 2000
Gregory: yeah but people can’t buy new overpriced homes and Politico says the stimulus was a communist conspiracy
Gibbs: let me repeat - Bush wrecked the economy and Obama is finally getting us out of the
damm ditch!
Gregory: but the debt!
Gibbs: was created by Republicans!
Gregory: you have to own all these problems
Gibbs: don’t drive the car into the ditch and demand the keys when we’re back on the road
Gregory: you’ve got an answer for everything
Gibbs: damm right Fluffy
Gregory: Democrats are localizing these races - doesn’t this prove Obama is a bad President
Gibbs: Hey Greggers did you know Republicans think the recent Depression was no big deal?
Gregory: but but but on the other hand I hate Obama
Gibbs: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: I don’t get it
Gibbs: all politics is local Dancin’ Dave
Gregory: Is Obama a failure or do people
expect too much?
Gibbs: We inherited a shitload of problems but I’m telling you we’re going to win in Afghanistan and then get the hell out!
Gregory: Is Obama going to raise taxes?
Gibbs: hell yeah - the rich didn’t even need those fucking tax cuts
Gregory: what will it take to bring back the
housing bubble?
Gibbs: it won’t come back as long as we’re still
in a recession
Gregory: which was caused by the housing crisis
Gibbs: well maybe those irresponsible buyers should move out of their house
Gregory: but they’re underwater
Gibbs: well according to Al Gore we all will be soon
Gregory: but the housing market
Gibbs: will come back when the economy recovers
Gregory: terrific
Gibbs: see it all makes sense
Gregory: Should I be terrified of hot red-headed Russian spies?
Gibbs: I was not terribly impressed with the idiots - it was like George W. Bush was running an international spy ring
Gregory: Obama escalated in Afghanistan and kept the state secrets privilege and went after Iran and North Korea - he’s just like Bush
Gibbs: that’s bullshit
Gregory: yes but my stupid predicate is that you
are just like Bush
Gibbs: and my answer is that you are the dumbest character on television and I include the entire
cast of Jersey Shore
Gregory: is the House in Jeopardy and please answer in the form of a question
Gibbs: it is if people want to spend the next two years apologizing to BP and Wall Street
Gregory: Would Obama trade the Cavaliers to
North Korea for nuclear weapons
Gibbs: that’s a good idea Fluff
[ break ]
Brooks: a month ago I felt the American people were happy but now I think the people hate Obama because worried about their grandchildren
Gregory: Sharron Angle is a serious economic thinker
Maddow: sure this election could be about if you are unhappy with the economy or it can be about that Sharron Angle is out of her fucking mind
Gillespie: pointing out that Republicans are insane only proves that Obama is a partisan and that he doesn’t care about jobs
Ford: we can’t dwell on the failures and crimes of
the past - if we are hemorrhaging jobs we need to cut spending and cut taxes
Gregory: it’s amazing you are unemployed
Maddow: I would like to subscribe to Harold Ford’s newsletter
Gregory: Why is Obama so mean pointing out all the mistakes of Republicans??
Maddow: Republicans are irresponsible spenders and also they fail at everything
Brooks: Republicans terrify the hell out of me
Gregory: that goes without saying
Brooks: we’re in a crisis created by Republicans which makes this a conservative moment
Gregory: good god even I think you’re a hack
Gillespie: Obama is going to raise taxes!
Maddow: you’re ranting about the debt and then you want to cut taxes
Ford: my point is cutting taxes and raising spending is really popular
Maddow: but it causes total public disasters
Ford: that is not my problem Rachel
Gregory: California and Illinois are bankrupt -
I mean it’s a real problem
Brooks: we should extend unemployment but it didn’t happen because the GOP opposes it and Democrats won’t give them all they want
Gillespie: why would you hire a new employee when you don’t know if health care reform will be enacted
Gregory: it was enacted you idiot
Gillespie: really?
Gregory: Peggy Noonan says Obama should give every American a Magic Dolphin
Ford: the reality is if America was going to elect a black President it should have been me
Maddow: oh sure
Ford: Gov. Christie is doing an awesome job
Maddow: truly you have a dizzying intellect
Gregory: Rachel you were just in Afghanistan and trying to figure out what the hell we are doing there
Maddow: we’re trying to create an Afghan government and our deadline concentrates the mind
Brooks: that deadline was too cute - but I was a strong supporter of the war and even I think we may have to leave if things don’t turn around in 10 years
Gillespie: The Bad Guys will wait us out - we need to stay until we Get The Job Done
Maddow: Honestly I don’t think spouting third-grade Hollywood gibberish is going win the war and create peace in that far off land
Gillespie: it’s all we’ve got
Gregory: and that’s the last word
**********************************
Guests:
Robert Gibbs (White House Press Secretary)
Rachel Maddow
Harold Ford
Ed Gillespie
David Brooks
*************************
Gregory: Bob how is the inability to stop the
BP oil gusher going?
Gibbs: well we still haven’t been able to do anything about it but we built this nifty shoe-phone
Gregory: are you confident in BP’s handling
of the situation
Gibbs: I’ve never met a bigger bunch of schmucks - and I worked on transition from the
Bush administration
Gregory: Obama says Republicans created the
mess that is the Obama administration
Gibbs: that’s right
Gregory: people think America is on the wrong track
Gibbs: in the last 6 months of 2008 the US lost 3 million jobs and now Obama is finally creating jobs
Gregory: yeah but things are still bad
Gibbs: Obama is going to visit the plant that supplies the batteries for the Mitt Romney 2000
Gregory: yeah but people can’t buy new overpriced homes and Politico says the stimulus was a communist conspiracy
Gibbs: let me repeat - Bush wrecked the economy and Obama is finally getting us out of the
damm ditch!
Gregory: but the debt!
Gibbs: was created by Republicans!
Gregory: you have to own all these problems
Gibbs: don’t drive the car into the ditch and demand the keys when we’re back on the road
Gregory: you’ve got an answer for everything
Gibbs: damm right Fluffy
Gregory: Democrats are localizing these races - doesn’t this prove Obama is a bad President
Gibbs: Hey Greggers did you know Republicans think the recent Depression was no big deal?
Gregory: but but but on the other hand I hate Obama
Gibbs: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: I don’t get it
Gibbs: all politics is local Dancin’ Dave
Gregory: Is Obama a failure or do people
expect too much?
Gibbs: We inherited a shitload of problems but I’m telling you we’re going to win in Afghanistan and then get the hell out!
Gregory: Is Obama going to raise taxes?
Gibbs: hell yeah - the rich didn’t even need those fucking tax cuts
Gregory: what will it take to bring back the
housing bubble?
Gibbs: it won’t come back as long as we’re still
in a recession
Gregory: which was caused by the housing crisis
Gibbs: well maybe those irresponsible buyers should move out of their house
Gregory: but they’re underwater
Gibbs: well according to Al Gore we all will be soon
Gregory: but the housing market
Gibbs: will come back when the economy recovers
Gregory: terrific
Gibbs: see it all makes sense
Gregory: Should I be terrified of hot red-headed Russian spies?
Gibbs: I was not terribly impressed with the idiots - it was like George W. Bush was running an international spy ring
Gregory: Obama escalated in Afghanistan and kept the state secrets privilege and went after Iran and North Korea - he’s just like Bush
Gibbs: that’s bullshit
Gregory: yes but my stupid predicate is that you
are just like Bush
Gibbs: and my answer is that you are the dumbest character on television and I include the entire
cast of Jersey Shore
Gregory: is the House in Jeopardy and please answer in the form of a question
Gibbs: it is if people want to spend the next two years apologizing to BP and Wall Street
Gregory: Would Obama trade the Cavaliers to
North Korea for nuclear weapons
Gibbs: that’s a good idea Fluff
[ break ]
Brooks: a month ago I felt the American people were happy but now I think the people hate Obama because worried about their grandchildren
Gregory: Sharron Angle is a serious economic thinker
Maddow: sure this election could be about if you are unhappy with the economy or it can be about that Sharron Angle is out of her fucking mind
Gillespie: pointing out that Republicans are insane only proves that Obama is a partisan and that he doesn’t care about jobs
Ford: we can’t dwell on the failures and crimes of
the past - if we are hemorrhaging jobs we need to cut spending and cut taxes
Gregory: it’s amazing you are unemployed
Maddow: I would like to subscribe to Harold Ford’s newsletter
Gregory: Why is Obama so mean pointing out all the mistakes of Republicans??
Maddow: Republicans are irresponsible spenders and also they fail at everything
Brooks: Republicans terrify the hell out of me
Gregory: that goes without saying
Brooks: we’re in a crisis created by Republicans which makes this a conservative moment
Gregory: good god even I think you’re a hack
Gillespie: Obama is going to raise taxes!
Maddow: you’re ranting about the debt and then you want to cut taxes
Ford: my point is cutting taxes and raising spending is really popular
Maddow: but it causes total public disasters
Ford: that is not my problem Rachel
Gregory: California and Illinois are bankrupt -
I mean it’s a real problem
Brooks: we should extend unemployment but it didn’t happen because the GOP opposes it and Democrats won’t give them all they want
Gillespie: why would you hire a new employee when you don’t know if health care reform will be enacted
Gregory: it was enacted you idiot
Gillespie: really?
Gregory: Peggy Noonan says Obama should give every American a Magic Dolphin
Ford: the reality is if America was going to elect a black President it should have been me
Maddow: oh sure
Ford: Gov. Christie is doing an awesome job
Maddow: truly you have a dizzying intellect
Gregory: Rachel you were just in Afghanistan and trying to figure out what the hell we are doing there
Maddow: we’re trying to create an Afghan government and our deadline concentrates the mind
Brooks: that deadline was too cute - but I was a strong supporter of the war and even I think we may have to leave if things don’t turn around in 10 years
Gillespie: The Bad Guys will wait us out - we need to stay until we Get The Job Done
Maddow: Honestly I don’t think spouting third-grade Hollywood gibberish is going win the war and create peace in that far off land
Gillespie: it’s all we’ve got
Gregory: and that’s the last word
**********************************
This Week with Jake Tapper - July 11, 2010
Guest:
David Axelrod - Presidential Advisor
Rep. Gutierrez
Rep. Bilbray
***********************
Tapper: David why does everyone hate Obama?
Axelrod: If I had to guess I would say it’s because Bush left us a horrible recession
Tapper: fair point
Axelrod: Republicans costs us 3 million jobs, blew a surplus, started two wars and a financial meltdown
Tapper: perhaps so - but white people think
he’s a slacker
Axelrod: oh bullshit if the economy was roaring people would love him
Tapper: how can you get anything done if you
can’t do anything?
Axelrod: oh no we still may be able to persuade Republicans to cut taxes
Tapper: dare to dream
Axelrod: not only that - Obama went to a plant in Missouri that makes bumper cars - we control
the global market in useless shit
Tapper: 70% of Americans think the stimulus failed
Axelrod: because the Bush recession was that bad!
Tapper: are the American people stupid?
Axelrod: Two and Half Men is the number one
sitcom and you have to ask?
Tapper: White businessmen say Obama is a Marxist and they refuse to create new jobs until he arrests all the black panthers
Axelrod: well Bush must have been in the Shining Path because they eliminated 3 million jobs when
he was President
Tapper: good point
Axelrod: and by the way lack of regulation caused the financial meltdown in the first place - not to mention BP!
Tapper: is the President worried that BP experts
may not be rocket scientists?
Axelrod: oh no they’re clearly on top of the situation
Tapper: really - cause they seem like idiots
Axelrod: well yeah
Tapper: OMG a recess appointment violates the Constitution!!
Axelrod: you’re shitting me right
Tapper: yes but you’re setting the stage for GOP Presidents to act unethically and outside the law
Axelrod: [ spit take ] It’s a little late for that
Tapper: yeah but you’re playing games - he
could have had a hearing
Axelrod: I really don’t give a shit
Tapper: General Petraeus wants to train an army of Village Idiots but Hamid Karzai says that cuts
in on his action
Axelrod: there’s plenty of room for both
Tapper: Did Obama lean on Blago to make Val Jarrett a Senator
Axelrod: maybe
Tapper: yes or no
Axelrod: so what if he did?
Tapper: I dunno
Axelrod: well there you go
[ break ]
Tapper: Luis is Mexican crime contaminating the purity of Arizona?
Gutierrez: some would say American drug addiction is causing crime in Mexico!
Tapper: Jan Brewer says most immigrants are coming to the U.S. to behead Americans
Bilbray: well that is not true but in fairness Gov. Brewer has seen her state become the kidnap
capital of the world
Tapper: that’s a lie as well
Bilbray: whatever - the point is there are too many illegals employed in Chicago
Gutierrez: fuck the border - the point is people overstay their visa
Bilbray: Mastercard too
Gutierrez: an American job: priceless
Tapper: what should we do with 12 million people here already?
Bilbray: first we stop paying people to be illegal and then we give deportation a chance
Tapper: would you deport 12 million and put them
in the back of the line?
Bilbray: we can’t reward illegal behavior!
Tapper: should we arrest Dick Cheney, Wall Street and BP executives?
Bilbray: oh noe!
Gutierrez: these people have been here for 20 years and have American children
Bilbray: well they’re not going to deport themselves
Gutierrez: finally we agree
Bilbray: well they might if we ask them nicely
Tapper: hell let’s all go
***********************
David Axelrod - Presidential Advisor
Rep. Gutierrez
Rep. Bilbray
***********************
Tapper: David why does everyone hate Obama?
Axelrod: If I had to guess I would say it’s because Bush left us a horrible recession
Tapper: fair point
Axelrod: Republicans costs us 3 million jobs, blew a surplus, started two wars and a financial meltdown
Tapper: perhaps so - but white people think
he’s a slacker
Axelrod: oh bullshit if the economy was roaring people would love him
Tapper: how can you get anything done if you
can’t do anything?
Axelrod: oh no we still may be able to persuade Republicans to cut taxes
Tapper: dare to dream
Axelrod: not only that - Obama went to a plant in Missouri that makes bumper cars - we control
the global market in useless shit
Tapper: 70% of Americans think the stimulus failed
Axelrod: because the Bush recession was that bad!
Tapper: are the American people stupid?
Axelrod: Two and Half Men is the number one
sitcom and you have to ask?
Tapper: White businessmen say Obama is a Marxist and they refuse to create new jobs until he arrests all the black panthers
Axelrod: well Bush must have been in the Shining Path because they eliminated 3 million jobs when
he was President
Tapper: good point
Axelrod: and by the way lack of regulation caused the financial meltdown in the first place - not to mention BP!
Tapper: is the President worried that BP experts
may not be rocket scientists?
Axelrod: oh no they’re clearly on top of the situation
Tapper: really - cause they seem like idiots
Axelrod: well yeah
Tapper: OMG a recess appointment violates the Constitution!!
Axelrod: you’re shitting me right
Tapper: yes but you’re setting the stage for GOP Presidents to act unethically and outside the law
Axelrod: [ spit take ] It’s a little late for that
Tapper: yeah but you’re playing games - he
could have had a hearing
Axelrod: I really don’t give a shit
Tapper: General Petraeus wants to train an army of Village Idiots but Hamid Karzai says that cuts
in on his action
Axelrod: there’s plenty of room for both
Tapper: Did Obama lean on Blago to make Val Jarrett a Senator
Axelrod: maybe
Tapper: yes or no
Axelrod: so what if he did?
Tapper: I dunno
Axelrod: well there you go
[ break ]
Tapper: Luis is Mexican crime contaminating the purity of Arizona?
Gutierrez: some would say American drug addiction is causing crime in Mexico!
Tapper: Jan Brewer says most immigrants are coming to the U.S. to behead Americans
Bilbray: well that is not true but in fairness Gov. Brewer has seen her state become the kidnap
capital of the world
Tapper: that’s a lie as well
Bilbray: whatever - the point is there are too many illegals employed in Chicago
Gutierrez: fuck the border - the point is people overstay their visa
Bilbray: Mastercard too
Gutierrez: an American job: priceless
Tapper: what should we do with 12 million people here already?
Bilbray: first we stop paying people to be illegal and then we give deportation a chance
Tapper: would you deport 12 million and put them
in the back of the line?
Bilbray: we can’t reward illegal behavior!
Tapper: should we arrest Dick Cheney, Wall Street and BP executives?
Bilbray: oh noe!
Gutierrez: these people have been here for 20 years and have American children
Bilbray: well they’re not going to deport themselves
Gutierrez: finally we agree
Bilbray: well they might if we ask them nicely
Tapper: hell let’s all go
***********************
Sunday, July 04, 2010
This Week with Jake Tapper - July 4, 2010
Guests:
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Paul Krugman
Dan Senor
Al Hunt
Jorge Ramos
Cynthia Tucker
***********************
Tapper: Senator McCain why the fuck is the
Taliban winning after 9 fucking years of war??
McCain: well it turns out we wasted 8 years attacking the wrong country in Iraq but now is the time to get bogged down in another useless land war in Asia
Tapper: should Obama double the number of
troops in Afghanistan?
McCain: of course but what I worry about more
than anything else is the July 2011 withdraw date and also the lack of pudding
Tapper: oh?
McCain: it sounds an uncertain trumpet
Tapper: I see
McCain: Our enemies won’t fear us if they
think we are ever leaving
Tapper: what kind of trumpet did Bush sound?
McCain: fuck Bush and Rummy - we need to
surge in Iraq and Afghanistan!
Tapper: oh ok
McCain: we should never withdraw until we win!
Tapper: great
McCain: also things are going really badly in Afghanistan which means we should never leave
Tapper: but General Petraeus says he agrees with Obama’s policy - is he an idiot?
McCain: I know about warfare and the enemy will wait until we leave to unleash their dastardlyness
Tapper: should Obama fire Eikenberry?
McCain: Look we won in Iraq and we can do that
in Afghanistan if we just never leave
Tapper: are we going to stop the random killing
in the next 7 months
McCain: gee I sure hope so because it sucks now
Tapper: it seems like it
McCain: we can’t lose in Afghanistan because it would be bad for the region and the people want us there and also Taliban! Al-qaeda! 9/11!
Tapper: Michael Steele says Obama was crazy
for invading Afghanistan
McCain: I’m a Ronald Reagan Republican
Tapper: you’re a senile phony?
McCain: Matlock!
Tapper: what about corruption?
McCain: Look a few Congressmen are always going to take bribes that’s just how DC works
Tapper: I mean Afghanistan
McCain: oh that too
Tapper: Should we withdraw for Iraq or would
that be surrender?
McCain: oh now it’s a great idea - sure there are problems but they’ll work it out - it’s time declare victory and go home
Tapper: You were in favor of immigration reform and now that you’re in a primary with a Tea Party nut
you flip-floppped
McCain: 23,000 Mexicans have been killed in Arizona - there was no violence in 2007 and now Arizona is an Official Human Smuggling Area
Tapper: fascinating
McCain: I invite the President to come to Arizona and see what a living hell it is
Tapper: yeah I’ve seen the all-you-can-eat salad bars at 4:30 pm
McCain: I love those
Tapper: aren’t you pandering to the most racist elements of your party?
McCain: Phoenix is the number two kidnapping capital in the world
Tapper: dear god
McCain: in the last 48 months Arizona has turned in "Matlock: Beyond Thunderdome"!
Tapper: Dan is Michael Steele fucking insane?
Senor: he’s a Moveon.org surrendering loser! It’s indefensible!
Tapper: what’s the worst thing he did?
Senor: he’s unserious
Tapper: OMG!!
Ramos: are we fully committed to that war or are we withdrawing?? It’s crazy!!
Tapper: the DNC says Steele is undermining
troop morale
Krugman: that was stupid - their morale is undermined by being trapped in a useless war
Tapper: this is America’s longest war and we haven’t even gotten any nice beaches out of it!
Hunt: I’ll let you in on a little secret - everyone in
D.C. hates this stupid war
Tapper: except for McCain
Hunt: Steele is probably a Democratic mole
Tapper: so was Joe Lieberman
Tucker: the Republican party needed a black face and they don’t have a very deep minority bench -
it’s ironic since they always whine about affirmative action
Senor: hold on a minute - sure everyone knows the war is insane but it’s admirable that no one in DC is willing to say that because you must cheer the troops and the American Empire
Tapper: wow you really are nuts
Senor: [ waves foam finger ] USA! USA! USA!
Tapper: so we all agree that chair of the RNC is certifiable
Panel: oh yeah absolutely
Tapper: In June we lost 125,000 jobs - what’s
going on Paul?
Krugman: we need more stimulus and I said so and I was proven fucking right
Tapper: oh
Krugman: and it’s going to fade out soon - jesus shit
Tapper: are we going to double dip the chip?
Krugman: it won’t be a “recession” technically it
will be “Giant Bummer”
Tapper: can we get a new stimulus?
Tucker: are you fucking kidding? We can’t even get them to pass unemployment extension!
Tapper: good point
Tucker: of course the GOP want economic failure - but the Dems stupidity here is puzzling
Tapper: but the deficit!
Tucker: no one gives a shit about the goddamm deficit!
Senor: but look at Greece!
Tapper: it’s a beautiful country where the women are sexy and men are hot
Stephanoplous: that’s true
Senor: ok how about Japan - who would live there!?
Krugman: Senor is lying his ass off
Senor: we need to cut taxes!
Krugman: [ smacks forehead ]
Cripes cutting spending now would be batshit insane - borrowing 500 billion now help and worrying about at debt of 20.5 trillion is crazy!
Tapper: go Paul go!
Krugman: They’re insincere! In the long run we’re all fucking dead!
Hunt: the stimulus was a bunch of bank bailouts and helping car companies which was terrible
Tapper: did the stimulus fail?
Krugman: half stimulus is worse than nothing because you can’t get another one later! Motherfuckers!
Tapper: oh my
Krugman: the world is panicking over
Invisible Bond Zombies!
Tapper: Roger Moore and George Lazenby?
Krugman: Ireland made savage cuts and the debt is still high but guess what - their economy shrank!
Tucker: the worst way to cut the debt is to keep people unemployed and Obama is sending mixed messages
Senor: you may be right but greedy people
are worried the debt
Krugman: he’s lying again!
Tapper: we all know that
Krugman: Reagan fucked up but he stuck to his guns while Obama splits the difference - shit!
Tapper: Immigration?
Ramos: Obama broke his promise - now I know he’s doesn’t have 60 votes in the Senate but we’re frustrated and something needs to be done
Hunt: he’s trying for Hispanic votes now - and in his defense the GOP are lunatics
Tapper: fascinating
Hunt: immigrants don’t come here to commit crimes -- John McCain is either lying or insane
Tapper: or both
Senor: Sure McCain is a cynical bastard but when Obama was a Senator personally wrecked a Kennedy-McCain bill
Tapper: wow he really was powerful
Senor: the best thing for Hispanics would be a Republican majority
Hunt: I’d like to point out that Senor
is lying
Tucker: I would also like to echo that Dan Senor is lying
Krugman: what she said
Tapper: well he probably is - thanks for watching
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Paul Krugman
Dan Senor
Al Hunt
Jorge Ramos
Cynthia Tucker
***********************
Tapper: Senator McCain why the fuck is the
Taliban winning after 9 fucking years of war??
McCain: well it turns out we wasted 8 years attacking the wrong country in Iraq but now is the time to get bogged down in another useless land war in Asia
Tapper: should Obama double the number of
troops in Afghanistan?
McCain: of course but what I worry about more
than anything else is the July 2011 withdraw date and also the lack of pudding
Tapper: oh?
McCain: it sounds an uncertain trumpet
Tapper: I see
McCain: Our enemies won’t fear us if they
think we are ever leaving
Tapper: what kind of trumpet did Bush sound?
McCain: fuck Bush and Rummy - we need to
surge in Iraq and Afghanistan!
Tapper: oh ok
McCain: we should never withdraw until we win!
Tapper: great
McCain: also things are going really badly in Afghanistan which means we should never leave
Tapper: but General Petraeus says he agrees with Obama’s policy - is he an idiot?
McCain: I know about warfare and the enemy will wait until we leave to unleash their dastardlyness
Tapper: should Obama fire Eikenberry?
McCain: Look we won in Iraq and we can do that
in Afghanistan if we just never leave
Tapper: are we going to stop the random killing
in the next 7 months
McCain: gee I sure hope so because it sucks now
Tapper: it seems like it
McCain: we can’t lose in Afghanistan because it would be bad for the region and the people want us there and also Taliban! Al-qaeda! 9/11!
Tapper: Michael Steele says Obama was crazy
for invading Afghanistan
McCain: I’m a Ronald Reagan Republican
Tapper: you’re a senile phony?
McCain: Matlock!
Tapper: what about corruption?
McCain: Look a few Congressmen are always going to take bribes that’s just how DC works
Tapper: I mean Afghanistan
McCain: oh that too
Tapper: Should we withdraw for Iraq or would
that be surrender?
McCain: oh now it’s a great idea - sure there are problems but they’ll work it out - it’s time declare victory and go home
Tapper: You were in favor of immigration reform and now that you’re in a primary with a Tea Party nut
you flip-floppped
McCain: 23,000 Mexicans have been killed in Arizona - there was no violence in 2007 and now Arizona is an Official Human Smuggling Area
Tapper: fascinating
McCain: I invite the President to come to Arizona and see what a living hell it is
Tapper: yeah I’ve seen the all-you-can-eat salad bars at 4:30 pm
McCain: I love those
Tapper: aren’t you pandering to the most racist elements of your party?
McCain: Phoenix is the number two kidnapping capital in the world
Tapper: dear god
McCain: in the last 48 months Arizona has turned in "Matlock: Beyond Thunderdome"!
Tapper: Dan is Michael Steele fucking insane?
Senor: he’s a Moveon.org surrendering loser! It’s indefensible!
Tapper: what’s the worst thing he did?
Senor: he’s unserious
Tapper: OMG!!
Ramos: are we fully committed to that war or are we withdrawing?? It’s crazy!!
Tapper: the DNC says Steele is undermining
troop morale
Krugman: that was stupid - their morale is undermined by being trapped in a useless war
Tapper: this is America’s longest war and we haven’t even gotten any nice beaches out of it!
Hunt: I’ll let you in on a little secret - everyone in
D.C. hates this stupid war
Tapper: except for McCain
Hunt: Steele is probably a Democratic mole
Tapper: so was Joe Lieberman
Tucker: the Republican party needed a black face and they don’t have a very deep minority bench -
it’s ironic since they always whine about affirmative action
Senor: hold on a minute - sure everyone knows the war is insane but it’s admirable that no one in DC is willing to say that because you must cheer the troops and the American Empire
Tapper: wow you really are nuts
Senor: [ waves foam finger ] USA! USA! USA!
Tapper: so we all agree that chair of the RNC is certifiable
Panel: oh yeah absolutely
Tapper: In June we lost 125,000 jobs - what’s
going on Paul?
Krugman: we need more stimulus and I said so and I was proven fucking right
Tapper: oh
Krugman: and it’s going to fade out soon - jesus shit
Tapper: are we going to double dip the chip?
Krugman: it won’t be a “recession” technically it
will be “Giant Bummer”
Tapper: can we get a new stimulus?
Tucker: are you fucking kidding? We can’t even get them to pass unemployment extension!
Tapper: good point
Tucker: of course the GOP want economic failure - but the Dems stupidity here is puzzling
Tapper: but the deficit!
Tucker: no one gives a shit about the goddamm deficit!
Senor: but look at Greece!
Tapper: it’s a beautiful country where the women are sexy and men are hot
Stephanoplous: that’s true
Senor: ok how about Japan - who would live there!?
Krugman: Senor is lying his ass off
Senor: we need to cut taxes!
Krugman: [ smacks forehead ]
Cripes cutting spending now would be batshit insane - borrowing 500 billion now help and worrying about at debt of 20.5 trillion is crazy!
Tapper: go Paul go!
Krugman: They’re insincere! In the long run we’re all fucking dead!
Hunt: the stimulus was a bunch of bank bailouts and helping car companies which was terrible
Tapper: did the stimulus fail?
Krugman: half stimulus is worse than nothing because you can’t get another one later! Motherfuckers!
Tapper: oh my
Krugman: the world is panicking over
Invisible Bond Zombies!
Tapper: Roger Moore and George Lazenby?
Krugman: Ireland made savage cuts and the debt is still high but guess what - their economy shrank!
Tucker: the worst way to cut the debt is to keep people unemployed and Obama is sending mixed messages
Senor: you may be right but greedy people
are worried the debt
Krugman: he’s lying again!
Tapper: we all know that
Krugman: Reagan fucked up but he stuck to his guns while Obama splits the difference - shit!
Tapper: Immigration?
Ramos: Obama broke his promise - now I know he’s doesn’t have 60 votes in the Senate but we’re frustrated and something needs to be done
Hunt: he’s trying for Hispanic votes now - and in his defense the GOP are lunatics
Tapper: fascinating
Hunt: immigrants don’t come here to commit crimes -- John McCain is either lying or insane
Tapper: or both
Senor: Sure McCain is a cynical bastard but when Obama was a Senator personally wrecked a Kennedy-McCain bill
Tapper: wow he really was powerful
Senor: the best thing for Hispanics would be a Republican majority
Hunt: I’d like to point out that Senor
is lying
Tucker: I would also like to echo that Dan Senor is lying
Krugman: what she said
Tapper: well he probably is - thanks for watching
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