Sunday, July 18, 2010

This Week with Jake Tapper and Joe Biden - July 18, 2010

July 18, 2010
Vice President Joe Biden

Tapper: You’ve accomplished a lot but people
are still really unhappy

Biden: we have meat inspection so Financial Regulation like that but we’ll people inspecting Goldman Sachs’ meat

Tapper: I see

Biden: it will take time for people to like us

Tapper: can you do it by November?

Biden: considering the Republicans are fucking insane - yes

Tapper: are you calling the American people stupid?

Biden: Bush lost 8 million jobs and we’re adding
jobs slowly but surely

Tapper: really?

Biden: I sit around the kitchen table and people
just want to know their President isn’t a muslim socialist black panther

Tapper: Is he?

Biden: no we’ve made this clear - he is not a muslim

Tapper: oh ok

Biden: it will just take time to explain what are in
the 1,000 page bills

Tapper: how bad will Democratic losses be in the fall

Biden: I have been sent out to repudiate Bob Gibbs - we’re going to the House and Senate!

Tapper: are you sure?

Biden: Look at Harry Reid - people thought he was dead until the Republicans nominated a psychotic

Tapper: good point

Tapper: is the Tea Party racist?

Biden: of course it is

Tapper: really?

Biden: no of course I have to say it isn’t a racist party - it’s merely party full of racists

Tapper: why are there no jobs?

Biden: It’s France’s fault

Tapper: Merde!

Tapper: Was the stimulus too small?

Biden: Well the Administration, Republicans,
Paul Krugman and Atrios thinks so

Tapper: and they were right!

Biden: Duh - but the Republican wouldn’t let us have a bigger one

Tapper: that’s sad

Biden: Wind! Solar! Supertrains!

Tapper: Exciting!

Biden: We’re creating jobs - not fast enough maybe but we are

Tapper: Are we going to withdraw from
Afghanistan or not?

Biden: Fuck yes! Bet. On. It.!!

Tapper: I’m suspicious

Biden: We’re going to pull out province by province

Tapper: Ok

Biden: Really I was telling the military to suck it up

Tapper: I just remember I wanted to ask you another question - what the fuck are we doing there??

Biden: Sure Jake people are being killed but that’s the lack of foliage

Tapper: Did you say fucking foliage??

Biden: Yes Osama is hiding behind some
very big trees

Tapper: Good god

Tapper: McChrystal called you Joe Bite Me

Biden: I like him because he didn’t let the door hit his ass when Obama canned that insubordinate fucker

Tapper: you didn’t take it personally?

Biden: oh no - I just told Barack to shitcan him

Tapper: Why did he hate you?

Biden: Because I don’t take a lot of shit from a bunch of preening Generals who think they are the reincarnation of George fucking Patton

Tapper: The Iraq Parliament met for 20 minutes

Biden: that’s great

Tapper: were you right that the country should be divided into three parts

Biden: yes - it’s totally fucked there

Tapper: but we’re staying

Biden: sure politics has broken out - it’s a big fucking deal!

Tapper: but it’s not working

Biden: Hey it’s took the Dutch 6 months to form
a government

Tapper: got another example?

Biden: the Netherlands too 270 days!

Tapper: that’s the same country Joe

Biden: and they have hash bars!

Tapper: what’s the larger strategy to combat islamofascism?

Biden: Build strong pro-American countries

Tapper: so going to the muslim world to build nations will make them love us

Biden: Obama can talk to them as a fellow muslim

Tapper: I thought you said he wasn’t a muslim

Biden: oh right - I meant he wasn’t a socialist

Tapper: well that much is obvious

Biden: I love me some Tapper

No comments: