Saturday, June 30, 2007

Hardball with Chris Matthews - June 29, 2007

Hardball with Chris Matthews - June 29, 2007
Guests: Lisa Myers, Peter King, Eleanor Holmes-Norton, Mark Green

Matthews: Our topic the is two cars found in London with petrol and nails first we’ll talk with terror expert Lisa Myers

Matthews: Lisa, i luv surveillance

Lisa Myers: yeah its the best - you nab suspects and innocent people too

Matthews: how do you trace nails

Myers: i dunno stupid those are pretty fucking hard to trace cause you know - they're fucking nails

Matthews: it's all crude equipment i thought we were up against an international islamofascist army

Myers: its both homegrown and yet there is also a link to Emmanuel Goldstein its fascinating

Matthews: its too bad you can't smell people on hidden cameras

Myers: its sad

Matthews: did Osama do this

Myers; it has all the hallmarks of al qaeda: multiple targets, explosions, and utter stupidity

Matthews: let’s to local NBC reporter Jonathan Dienst

Jonathan Dienst: because of those mercedes with nails in London there are lots of cops in NYC riding the subways, sniffing dogs, chemical detectors, bag searches, and random id checks on dark skinned people

Matthews: so nothing new then

Dienst: not if you remember Rudy's New York City

Matthews: should we panic??

Emerson: i highly doubt it dood this is probably a bunch of wannabe loosers

Matthews: Awwwwwww....

Steve Emerson: its not all bad newz i mean if this could happen in the UK then it could happen here that's exciting

Matthews: yay

Emerson: but this is a big failure of the British intelligence

Matthews: how is this a failure it was foiled

Emerson: but it almost wasn't ergo Bush is a great President and Gordon Brown is an islamofascist

Matthews: should we have Viewscreens in out houses?

Emerson: definitely or at least suspicious swarthy types like they do in Oceania they're way ahead of us in panty-sniffing technology

Matthews: do you think if we threaten them with life in prison they will tell us Osama was behind this?

Emerson: maybe but we have 10,000 FBI agents reading your e-mail and they only have 20 bobbies and this shows why that's bad

Matthews: let's talk to well known crazy person Peter King and the non-voting Congresswoman.

King: i got a secret briefing from my teevee on CNN and if it had worked this bomb would have caused massive bloodshed and carnage it was great

Matthews: bloodshed cool

King: we got lucky these doods were totally stupid but it just goes to show islamic fascists are eeeeviiill

Holmes-Norton: well i can't help notice that we're pretty fucking safe without rounding up all the muslims

Matthews: yeah but it's so sad we're in lockdown with our democracy

Norton: dood it could be worse thankfuly the bad guys are chattering about New York

Matthews: the bad guys chat about New York you say??

Norton: yes -- hey if you're listening terrorists, there are no good targets in my city it's empty - go to NYC it's crowded

King: yes, let me list a lot of potential great targets for any terrorists listening - St. Patricks, Grand Central, Penn Station...

Matthews: is this international or homegrown?

King: well i guesss it's homegrown which goes to show we have to fear all muslims even if they were born in america!!!

Matthews: i luv America but British muslims are scary

Norton: well it's all colonialism you see they hate their oppressors

Matthews: they won't assimilate

Norton: no way they hate Britain

Matthews: is that true Peter King?

King: right they've been there 50 years and still hate England

Matthews: wow

King: it proves even if a muslim family has been in america for three generations we can't trust them!!

Matthews: wow

Matthews: Mark Green yur Mr. Knickerbocker what's up

Green: i'm not scared if u see something u say something that's our motto

Matthews: well does that work

Green: Karl Rove said invading iraq would stop terrorism and the Democrats said law enforcement well guess who was right

Bernard: welcome to the post 9/11 world where even the silliest thing make everyone paaaaaniiiiiic!!!!

Matthews: i say panic first and target dark-skinned people at all costs

Bernard: i agree brown skinned islamofascists are hiding under our beds now!!!!!

Green: we've got way overboard and arrested way too many muslims

Matthews: wait a minute you’re not saying we shouldn't give in to our worst instincts are you??

Green: well dood there has to be line


Green: jesus christ people warned me about you but until u experience a Tweetygasm you really can't imagine it

Matthews: Stephanie has Scotland Yard announced whether or not you will sleep with me

Gosk: Matthews early reports indicate that that will never happen but it has been very exciting here we're all talking about massive loss of life

Matthews: well that’s some consolation

Gosk: Birmingham is eeeviiiiil

Matthews: i have to get the Republican perspective first lay it on me

Miller: George W. Bush is a fucking god among men he's bucked the polls and fought terrorism

Matthews: bullshit

Miller: well he's in Iraq and we're fighting the London bombers in Iraq

Finney: that is so fucking stupid

Matthews: any idiot could have built the London so-called bomb for god's sake

Finney: right, we could, i dunno -- implement the fucking 9/11 Commission recommendations instead getting bogged down in a civil war in the middle east which is creating more terrorism

Miller: we should be overseas after all there are terrorist overseas and therefore we should be overseas and iraq is overseas

Finney: oh my god do they build dumb blond wingnuts in a factory or something???

Matthews: how do we persuade young men not to be terrorists

Miller: easy - we bomb their villages from above, then invade their countries, take away all their power, and kill their families -- problem solved dood

Finney: holy shit you'll kill us all before you're done

Matthews: i had scheduled the black journalists to bash Hillary Clinton but i would rather talk about islamic terrorists

Robinson: the British have a stiff upper lip but this is pretty scary and they are worried about their ethnic minorities

Matthews: they won't assimilate!!!

Robinson: sort of

Matthews: they are our Mother Country it’s the Fear Factor!!

Wickham: this proves that invading iraq was a really dumb idea

Matthews: ok i'm really really scared of Al Qaeda as we blacks say in the NBA it teh Alley Oop how do we stop that!!??

Wickham: cut off the head of Al Qaeda

Matthews: where is he??!!!

Wickman: not in Iraq that's for fucking sure

Guest: give me a fucking break Osama did not direct this most lame of plots

Matthews: bush sucks what's up with that

Wickham: it's been a really bad week for Stupid but then that's pretty common for him lately

Robinson: well he got the schools re-segregated but that's small consolation the history books will not remember him well

Zuckman: his entire presidency his fucked

Matthews: no no no Ike Eisenhower, Ronald Reagan, and Bill Clinton all had a lot of sex in their last year in the White House!!!

Robinson: no way dood no one will sleep with Stupid

Matthews: well i'm the Last Defender of George W. Bush but I still insist he is sexy - George call me