Sunday, June 24, 2007

Meet The Press - June 24, 2007

Meet The Press - June 24, 2007
Patrick J. Buchanan
Congressman Luis Gutierrez

Tim Russert: okay this immigration bill would install radar detectors for those speedy Gonzalez-type illegals and allow illegal immigrants to stay here -- what’s wrong with that I mean dammit my lawn in Nantucket isn’t going to mow itself

Buchanan: this is rewarding massive criminality its fucking outrageous please fetch my fainting couch and pearls

Tim Russert: oh my

Buchanan: this is the beginning of a massive invasion they’re like locusts or African bees but much scarier and they wash dishes

Russert: wow yikes

Buchanan: they’re all brown and it’s like adding a new Mexico every 18 minutes

Russert: omg!!!!

Buchanan: the whole world is watching its like the 1960s protests but we’re protesting to send a bunch of people *to* the third world

Russert: wow i’m petrified!

Buchanan: it’s the beginning of the end of the USA!!!!

President George W. Bush [on tape]: it’s not amnesty and if you say it yur scaring people

Buchanan: no I’m not trying to scare people but it is amnesty and bush is a moron who won’t build a massive electronic fence to keep out the Brown Horde!!!!

Russert: so then president bush is full of shit

Buchanan: 500,000 criminals tried to break into my precious white country that’s as many as in the entire US Army we can’t fight them all omg!!!!!

Congressman Luis Gutierrez: its’ not amnesty its a pathway to legalization I means there’s a soldier in iraq and his wife is illegal and she’s being deported

Russert: so we pass this bill because of that?

Gutierrez: no but it will take 65 years to deport all these illegal doods and my guess is that in the intervening 65 years a few more illegals would come in to the US

Russert: he makes a good point dood

Gutierrez: the Irish, the Italians, and the Chinese all came here in the same way and if we banned immigrants it would grind the American economy to a halt!!!

Buchanan: no way dood 12 million is the number of whites who came here on the Mayflower and the nina and the santa maria and the pina colada its an illegal invasion!!!!

Russert: wow how do we get rid of them??!!!

Buchanan: just deport the child molesters and drunk drivers and rapists

Russert: what do Americas politicians have to do with this

Buchanan: look we just need to build a big fence hopefully with barbed wire and some electricity - zap!!!

Russert: u would keep dad and the baby but deport little Mommy are u heartless dood

Buchanan: no but look 2/3 of the actors in Los Angeles are anchor babies and we treat them just as if mexican citizens were white citizens or something

Russert: wow what's up with that

Buchanan: anchors only tie u down they should put them to work doing work no decent American would do like a sitcom on the WB

Gutierrez: Buchanan is obsessed with brown people and he’s casting a dark shadow they’re not all drunk drivers or rapists and anyway we need all these illegal workers to support social security for the baby boomers

Russert: Pat dood without illegals we would not have farming, cleaning, and the Tim Russert Compound in Nantucket would be overrun by gophers

Buchanan: bullshit the American blue collar worker is suffering and this won’t help

Gutierrez: hey dood who’s working the pesticide-ridden grape fields? Illegal Mexicans that’s who

Buchanan: I hate grapes so shut up

Gutierrez: I will not shut up

Pat Buchanan: wake up and smell the coffee its better than wine

Gutierrez: speaking of whining - all this talk about illegals on welfare is bullshit

Buchanan: who gives shit illegals get free America high school education

Gutierrez: big fucking deal who wants a US high school education

Buchanan: I wash my own car and mow my own damn lawn

Russert: holy shit my houseboy does all that

Buchanan: my dad used to work construction and it was great and I’m a friend to the African-American working man

Gutierrez: hey the illegals are getting fingerprinted and pay fines that’s a big deal

Buchanan: did u read my crazy diatribe of a book dood????

Gutierrez: it’s unfair to poor illegal immigrants that they have to compete with American workers

Russert: thats interesting logic dood

Buchanan: when Italians who came the losers went home and we got to keep the good ones and none of them were criminals it was great

Russert: ok Hispanics are all democrats does that worry you Pat Buchanan

Buchanan: hey pete wilson’s great political career was made on bashing illegals

Russert: dood pete wilson who??

Pat: ok good point -- but illegals are criminals ergo it should always be illegal

Gutierrez: I want to keep the good ones and fingerprint the bad ones and send them away

Tim: can Republicans win without hispanic vote?

Gutierrez: let me issue a thinly veiled threat approve amnesty if you don’t support illegal immigration you will lose elections - get it dood

Buchanan: what u are saying is a threat

Gutierrez: hey there are Hispanics on the Vietnam wall

Buchanan: we need hispanic voters but we can do without brown voters

Russert: whats the difference?

Buchanan: when u vote Republican you cease to be brown

Gutierrez: i would like to fingerprint the immigrants but look dood they are not hordes to us they sit in pews like normal wingnut people

Buchnan: aaaarrrrhhhhhhhhgggg!!!!!!

Gutierrez: embrace brown people or lose elections that's they way it works

Buchanan: i would rather lose elections that sit back watch a scary brown invasion!!!!!

[ break ]

Russert: Limbaugh is mad is immigration cracking up teh GOP

Harwood: it’s sad when a political party is in trouble the wingnut base has too much influence and bush is right u can't win without hispanic vote

Russert: but pete Wilson dood!!

Harwood: Stillson dood!!

Russert: David Broder we all know u will do anything and tell any number of lies to bash democrats what's up with that

Broder: the democrats need to do the nation's business which means doing whatever George W. Bush wants i speak for the people and they hate bickering

Gwen Ifill: david broder is right all of america's problems are the fault of liberal democrats they're always digging in their heels and standing for something instead of caving into the GOP it's so sad

Russert: it’s horrible

Ifill: look at the debate you just hosted they were fighting instead of getting along like we do in Nantucket it’s so awful

Roger Simon: that is so stupid David Broder is a senile right wing whacko and he is full of shit -- he doesn't know any ordinary Americans and this isn't a crisis it's a fake issue ginned up by Broder and his weirdo friends -- go after employers or don’t bother

Broder: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Russert: Hillary Clinton is "Slick Hillary" because she will not say Right Now who her Secretary of Labor will be!!!!!

Ifill: Tim Russert that's is so stupid nobody gives a shit Bill Clinton won by parsing words moron but only Hillary only get bashed by people like u and Chris Matthews interesting isn’t it??

Broder: i luv Hillary after all she is moving to the right and never answers any questions and she adjusts her message for every audience it’s all very Beltway

Russert: let's look at the Sopranos ad

[shows ad - Clinton “no onion rings??”]

Ifill: ha ha the unwashed masses are gonna feel jerked around from this like david chase did to me

Peggy Noonan [ quote ]: hillary clinton has to prove she's not a grimly combative cold heartless bitch

Harwood: Hillary won't swing for the fences she's more Ty Cobb than a Babe

Simon: Noonan is dead wrong people want competence not “who you want to have a beer with” I mean who gives a shit besides dood people actually like Hillary!!

Harwood: people are skeptical of Obama

Russert: is Barack Obama fucked

Harwood: no way he's exciting and charismatic he just has to stop fucking up

Russert: so it's between them

Harwood: no edwards is leading in iowa dood

Russert: Rudy's iowa state campaign manager is a crack dealer and he blew off America’s national security so he could fulfill his pole-dancing duties at Satin Dolls

Ifill: is it really a good excuse that Rudy told the Iraq Study Group to fuck off so could run for President??

Ifill: the polls don’t mean shit which is good news for Rudy

Broder: i don't know Rudy Giuliani but i hear he's a megalomanical nutjob

Russert: but Rudy on September 11 he was so wonderful!!

Harwood: dood some unannounced actor is beating the little cross-dressing fascist

Simon: Mitt Romney is a heartless flip flopping hypocritical bastard

Russert: Mitt's campaign guy’s are impersonating state troopers that’s pretty weird

Simon: this soldier from Iraq won the Bronze star and wants to be a cop and Romney stopped him so he could win the wingnut vote

Harwood: well that crazy but dood but Romney's real mistake was messing with a Times reporter -- do not fuck with the media!!!!

Russert: Fred Thompson is so cool!!!!!!

Harwood: yeah its weird but don’t count out Mitt Romney

Broder: Fred Thompson is a lazy arrogant fucker

Ifill: McCain is a real American hero because he sticks with idiotic positions

Russert: we should definitely elect someone like that

Ifill: Fred McGruff is spanking him without even trying

Simon: its all about hating on brown people with the GOP

Timmeh: let me serve some more as the Blooomberg campaign spokesman by describing excitedly how he could win and saying he is loved by blacks and whites and all the other miscellaneous ethnicities

Broder: they let me out of the home a few months ago to talk to Bloomie and i was wearing an onion on my belt and the subway costs five bees and-

Tim: ok enough he may spend a billion what's up

Simon: this is totally unrealistic besides asking people constantly to give you money is a great way to build a base of support and Bloomberg doesn't have to do that and it will hurt him

Timmy: dood i never heard that cause it's fucking stupid

Broder: i can't believe i missed Matlock for this show

Russert: he’s worth $8 billion I love it!!!!

Ifill: jeebus fucking christ all that is stoopid his only support is from the media apparently that's all Bloomberg needs

Simon: criminy this is a total fantasy Bloomberg can't win

Harwood: but Hillary is so evil if she runs Satan should run!!!

Ifill: Bloomberg is playing the media like a fiddle like in a contest with the devil in Georgia

Harwood: it’s like Ross Perot in 1992 because we also have a really bad President named George Bush

Simon: i like the way we talk about Bloomberg’s money and no one here knows what his positions are on anything

Broder: yur young whippersnappers are much too dismissive teh Democratic Congress is destroying America!!!!

Simon: dood do u think he could win

Broder: Absolutely!!

Russert: pollz say Democrats are leading for the next Presidential election

Broder: people in this country hate both terrible extreme parties

Ifill: I bow to David Broder and his senile ideas but really fuck off old man

Harwod: Dems should win in 2008 but then again Hillary is hated so who knows

Broder: Matlock's on i'm outta here