************************************************************
Hardball with Chris Matthews - June 29, 2007
Guests: Lisa Myers, Peter King, Eleanor Holmes-Norton, Mark Green
************************************************************
Matthews: Our topic the is two cars found in London with petrol and nails first we’ll talk with terror expert Lisa Myers
Matthews: Lisa, i luv surveillance
Lisa Myers: yeah its the best - you nab suspects and innocent people too
Matthews: how do you trace nails
Myers: i dunno stupid those are pretty fucking hard to trace cause you know - they're fucking nails
Matthews: it's all crude equipment i thought we were up against an international islamofascist army
Myers: its both homegrown and yet there is also a link to Emmanuel Goldstein its fascinating
Matthews: its too bad you can't smell people on hidden cameras
Myers: its sad
Matthews: did Osama do this
Myers; it has all the hallmarks of al qaeda: multiple targets, explosions, and utter stupidity
Matthews: let’s to local NBC reporter Jonathan Dienst
Jonathan Dienst: because of those mercedes with nails in London there are lots of cops in NYC riding the subways, sniffing dogs, chemical detectors, bag searches, and random id checks on dark skinned people
Matthews: so nothing new then
Dienst: not if you remember Rudy's New York City
Matthews: should we panic??
Emerson: i highly doubt it dood this is probably a bunch of wannabe loosers
Matthews: Awwwwwww....
Steve Emerson: its not all bad newz i mean if this could happen in the UK then it could happen here that's exciting
Matthews: yay
Emerson: but this is a big failure of the British intelligence
Matthews: how is this a failure it was foiled
Emerson: but it almost wasn't ergo Bush is a great President and Gordon Brown is an islamofascist
Matthews: should we have Viewscreens in out houses?
Emerson: definitely or at least suspicious swarthy types like they do in Oceania they're way ahead of us in panty-sniffing technology
Matthews: do you think if we threaten them with life in prison they will tell us Osama was behind this?
Emerson: maybe but we have 10,000 FBI agents reading your e-mail and they only have 20 bobbies and this shows why that's bad
Matthews: let's talk to well known crazy person Peter King and the non-voting Congresswoman.
King: i got a secret briefing from my teevee on CNN and if it had worked this bomb would have caused massive bloodshed and carnage it was great
Matthews: bloodshed cool
King: we got lucky these doods were totally stupid but it just goes to show islamic fascists are eeeeviiill
Holmes-Norton: well i can't help notice that we're pretty fucking safe without rounding up all the muslims
Matthews: yeah but it's so sad we're in lockdown with our democracy
Norton: dood it could be worse thankfuly the bad guys are chattering about New York
Matthews: the bad guys chat about New York you say??
Norton: yes -- hey if you're listening terrorists, there are no good targets in my city it's empty - go to NYC it's crowded
King: yes, let me list a lot of potential great targets for any terrorists listening - St. Patricks, Grand Central, Penn Station...
Matthews: is this international or homegrown?
King: well i guesss it's homegrown which goes to show we have to fear all muslims even if they were born in america!!!
Matthews: i luv America but British muslims are scary
Norton: well it's all colonialism you see they hate their oppressors
Matthews: they won't assimilate
Norton: no way they hate Britain
Matthews: is that true Peter King?
King: right they've been there 50 years and still hate England
Matthews: wow
King: it proves even if a muslim family has been in america for three generations we can't trust them!!
Matthews: wow
Matthews: Mark Green yur Mr. Knickerbocker what's up
Green: i'm not scared if u see something u say something that's our motto
Matthews: well does that work
Green: Karl Rove said invading iraq would stop terrorism and the Democrats said law enforcement well guess who was right
Bernard: welcome to the post 9/11 world where even the silliest thing make everyone paaaaaniiiiiic!!!!
Matthews: i say panic first and target dark-skinned people at all costs
Bernard: i agree brown skinned islamofascists are hiding under our beds now!!!!!
Green: we've got way overboard and arrested way too many muslims
Matthews: wait a minute you’re not saying we shouldn't give in to our worst instincts are you??
Green: well dood there has to be line
Matthews: WE HAVE TO BE CITIZEN WARRIORS AND PULL OUR BELTS OFF AND TAKE OUR PANTS AND WHIP THOSE ISLAMOFACSISTS!!!
Green: jesus christ people warned me about you but until u experience a Tweetygasm you really can't imagine it
Matthews: Stephanie has Scotland Yard announced whether or not you will sleep with me
Gosk: Matthews early reports indicate that that will never happen but it has been very exciting here we're all talking about massive loss of life
Matthews: well that’s some consolation
Gosk: Birmingham is eeeviiiiil
Matthews: i have to get the Republican perspective first lay it on me
Miller: George W. Bush is a fucking god among men he's bucked the polls and fought terrorism
Matthews: bullshit
Miller: well he's in Iraq and we're fighting the London bombers in Iraq
Finney: that is so fucking stupid
Matthews: any idiot could have built the London so-called bomb for god's sake
Finney: right, we could, i dunno -- implement the fucking 9/11 Commission recommendations instead getting bogged down in a civil war in the middle east which is creating more terrorism
Miller: we should be overseas after all there are terrorist overseas and therefore we should be overseas and iraq is overseas
Finney: oh my god do they build dumb blond wingnuts in a factory or something???
Matthews: how do we persuade young men not to be terrorists
Miller: easy - we bomb their villages from above, then invade their countries, take away all their power, and kill their families -- problem solved dood
Finney: holy shit you'll kill us all before you're done
Matthews: i had scheduled the black journalists to bash Hillary Clinton but i would rather talk about islamic terrorists
Robinson: the British have a stiff upper lip but this is pretty scary and they are worried about their ethnic minorities
Matthews: they won't assimilate!!!
Robinson: sort of
Matthews: they are our Mother Country it’s the Fear Factor!!
Wickham: this proves that invading iraq was a really dumb idea
Matthews: ok i'm really really scared of Al Qaeda as we blacks say in the NBA it teh Alley Oop how do we stop that!!??
Wickham: cut off the head of Al Qaeda
Matthews: where is he??!!!
Wickman: not in Iraq that's for fucking sure
Guest: give me a fucking break Osama did not direct this most lame of plots
Matthews: bush sucks what's up with that
Wickham: it's been a really bad week for Stupid but then that's pretty common for him lately
Robinson: well he got the schools re-segregated but that's small consolation the history books will not remember him well
Zuckman: his entire presidency his fucked
Matthews: no no no Ike Eisenhower, Ronald Reagan, and Bill Clinton all had a lot of sex in their last year in the White House!!!
Robinson: no way dood no one will sleep with Stupid
Matthews: well i'm the Last Defender of George W. Bush but I still insist he is sexy - George call me
***************************************************************
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
Democratic Presidential Debate on PBS June 28, 2007
****************************************************
Democratic Presidential Debate
June 28, 2007
Channel: PBS
Location: Howard University
Moderator: Tavis Smiley
****************************************************
Tavis Smiley: hi i'm Tavis Smiley and as you can see i'm more compelling than our president and most of the candidates as well
[ cut to audience reading books ]
Smiley: u can't lead people if u don't luv people and so tonite we're going to ask the candidates how much they luv people and i mean LUV PEOPLE!!
Audience: woo!
Smiley: let quote Paul Robeson another man much smarter and more accomplished than our President and everyone else running
Gov. Deval Patrick: hi and if you can't see yur tv -- yes i'm actually black
Smiley: right on
Patrick: just because the GOP party totally sucks doesn't mean we're going to vote Democrat they've got to show they're for real!
Audience: yeah!
[ Interminable photo op of all the candidates ]
[ candidates mill around aimlessly ]
Smiley: The first question comes from the winner of an online contest:
Online Contest Winner: w.e.b. DuBois said race wuz a big deal in America. Is race still a big deal?
Hillary Clinton: you're damm right it is i mean sure you got Obama over there and Richardson and i'm kinda black since i'm a woman - but look at Katrina and today's overturning of brown v. board of education it’s terrible i'm just glad thurgood marshall is dead so he didn't live to see this
Joe Biden: oh yeah the Supremes are all assholes especially teh black guy - but remember when i wore the funny hate in the Alito confirmation hearings? I even made Mrs Alito cry!!
Bill Richardson: race is totally important in the USA and as you can see i'm looking extra dark tonight as proof i'm down with african americans
Guest: uh-huh
Richardson: i'm Latiiiiinoooooooo!!!!
John Edwards: i'm an honorary black because i'm from north carolina where there are lot of historically black colleges
Guest: totally
Edwards: i luv to talk about poverty and the 2 americas, its about education and health care and don’t forget fucking voting rights!
Audience: yeah!
Obama: well unlike everyone else what would i know about race [rolls eyes]
Guest: heh
Obama: but i'm also an american and it's good for america to make progress in this area
Audience: woo!
[ cut to al sharpton in audience sitting next to harry belafonte ]
Smiley: Well that a very boring answer Barack
Dennis Kucinich: I hear you someone stole my boots -- but anyway we need a constitutional amendment guaranteeing kindergarten, a high school education, health care, head start, college...
Audience: yay!
Smiley: ok that's enough
Gravel: dood don’t fool yourself this country will be racist for a long time here's teh proof the war on drugs is targeting minorities and inner cities when will we learn dammitt i pledge to legalize all drugs!!
Dodd: i live in Connecticut so i'm not going to pretend to understand the black man but i will say that schools in my state are segregated so i will overturn today’s supreme court decision toot suite
Smiley: don't cross me doods yur in my house but now i will turn the show over to 2 black journalists and 1 miscellaneous guy
Wickham: black unemployment what's up
Biden: the problems start when they're born like for example black mothers don't talk to their children enough i've studied this
Wickham: that’s your solution
Biden: smaller classrooms and better teachers
Richardson: people always say, ‘how will u pay for education but no one ever sez how will u pay for a war’
Audience: yeah!
Richardson: better breakfasts like egg mcmuffins with sausage I luv those
Edwards: this is the cause of my life!! but look there is no one single cause of poverty -- we need to start really, really, early like at the zygote stage
Smiley: oh ok
Edwards: also help unions and raise wages
Obama: more parental counseling cause black parents need a lot of advice
Smiley: sing it brother
Obama: we need more after-school specials like ‘dood i think my mom is an alcoholic my dad said so when he was abusing me’
Smiley: yeah that was a good one
Obama: these are all our children!
Kucinich: doods workingmen of the world need to unite and defund the war and cut 15% of the Pentagon budget!!
Audience: awesome!
[ big applause ]
Gravel: dennis u r too conservative i would cut so much more from the military budget the people must revolt!!
Audience: boo-yah!!
[ wild applause ]
Dodd: umm...yeah… well...uh... see.. i'm not that radical but i always support the black or african types working at the country club and Head Start is important...
Smiley: ok enough white dood
Clinton: hey I’m wearing pink and black!
Smiley: u look like an extra from ‘Grease’
Clinton: doods i've fought for education rights but let's be really fucking honest there is real goddam racism out there!!
Audience: finally!
Questioner: AIDS crisis what's up
Richardson: dood we need needles but we also have to go to the source in Africa and u gotta admit George Bush is really good on this i mean teh dude is on the cover of ‘Vanity Fair’!!!
Edwards: black women are much more likely to get AIDS did u know that
Smiley: yes i did
Edwards: anyway we should cure AIDS that would help
Obama: you are all missing the point too many black women are getting AIDS because we don't talk about AIDS in teh black community there is a stigma to it because of homophobia
Smiley: really I'm surprised u said that
Obama: wait there's more -- I’ll be really honest all these things like poverty and education and poor health care and behavior are interconnected like Paris Hilton said ‘its a vicious circle’ -- the black community has a disease to its immune system and if it’s not AIDS it's drugs or it's guns and everyone here knows it but they’re too politically correct to say so
Smiley: wow
Kucinich: the Keebler elves have suffered discrimination so i know what the black community is going thru
Smiley: that’s good point
Kucinich: we need to teach teenagers about sex but michael moore is right we need Cuban health care
Gravel: i challenge the whippersnappers on the stage to end the War On Drugs heck i'm on nine different pillz right now all i see are seven flying creatures!
Dodd: well im certainly glad i get to follow Mike Gravel… i can't tell u how happy i am about that -- anyway i know that blacks have obesity and diabetes and shit like that so yeah..um…
Smiley: enough dood yur boring
Gravel: back back you flying dogs aaahhhh
Clinton: Right on Smiley yur my homey!
Smiley: i luv you too darlin'
Clinton: if AIDS were the leading cause of death of white women people would get mad and you’re damm right something would be done about it!!
Audience: oh yeah!!
[ standing ovation ]
Clinton: i rock -- though im not Paris Hilton heh heh -- lets fund AIDS its not a gay men’s disease
Audience: uh-huh!!
Biden: fuck u all so i'm white - so what!!
Smiley: calm down dood
Biden: goddammit i've been tested for AIDS with my partner Barack Obama and i told black women stop having sex and i even taught black men how to put on a condom -- of course my was smaller and I’m not ashamed to admit it!!!
Obama: whoa hold on dood i'm not gay i wuz tested with my fucking wife in Kenya cause you know AIDS is everywhere there
Smiley: if you say so dood but have Michelle call me if anything changes
Biden: hey I had a brief affair with Magic Johnson i got tested because i though i had fucking AIDS!!!
Smiley: warren buffett sez rich aren't taxed enough
Edwards: why is wealth taxed less than work it’s wrong
Obama: damm right look people don't want charity just basic fairness
Gravel: end the income tax!! It's corrupt! National regressive sales tax!!!
Dodd: oh good lord Gravel is giving me a fucking headache… I say we should give a tax break to Halliburton if they relocate to the inner city
Smiley: yeah thats a real good plan
Clinton: whatever dood all i know is under Bill and me the economy totally rocked
Biden: as a black man i say we should lower taxes
Richardson: zero taxes for technology start ups and the ones that hire doods in the inner city
Smiley: but that will never happen
Richardson: new jobs and -
Smiley: shut up -- ok what about blacks in prison
Obama: racial profiling is bad but then u get accused of being soft on crime
Kucinich: drug rehab not jail like the Hollywood kids do it
Gravel: nothing will change until you take to the streets with torches and pitchforks!!!
Dood: there’s a huge disparity in the quality of crack and powdered cocaine in this country and that troubles me
Clinton: I agree we need to look at powder and crack cocaine and get a better attorney general and president who isn’t hooked on both
audience: yee-haw!
Biden: a lot of doods get addicted to drugs in jail
Richardson: i learned about the plight of blacks from reading Travis Smiley’s book and i learned we should let Americans join a union
Kucinich: Levees dood! There are not even jobs for people in New Orleans!
Question: right of people from New Orleans to return yes or no??
Dodd: sure why not this debate was a big mistake anyway
Gravel: War on Drugs! Iraq is bad!
Clinton: I have a 10 point plan to address New Orleans hospitals, fire departments, police, workers, and --
Biden: its a national problem now lets go to town!
Richardson: it’s a disgrace I would support right of return also I support the ‘Katrina and the Waves Act’ of Representative Waters
Edwards: I would create a cabinet position just to rebuild New Orleans that dood would report to me everyday
Obama: everyone just assumed the people of New Orleans could just get in their air conditioned SUVs with their Perrier - the neglect began before the hurricane
Question: outsourcing is a big problem who’s side are you on
Gravel: no outsourcing is not a problem all my opponents want to fund health care on he backs of hard working corporations!
Dodd: finally an opening from the Senator Crazy! Yes I object to outsourcing I have a plan to prevent the Pentagon from outsourcing jobs
Smiley: how will that help dood
Dodd: it won’t it’s a gimmick
Clinton: sure it’s a problem I tried to help upstate new york with my 10 point plan its about better education and nine other points
Biden: tax breaks won’t do it we need to help corporations and build more tunnels and bridges
Smiley: tunnels dood ok
Richardson : I would beef up science and math education and ban slave and child labor
Edwards: my dad was fired from his mill because of outsourcing we need to stop tax breaks for buzineses that fired my dad
Obama: I turned down high paying law firm jobs to help people fired due to outsourcing - so suck it John Edwards
Kucinich: yur all phonies I’ve been arrested lots to times to protest worker conditions – when I’m President I’m going to cancel NAFTA
Moderator: dood you will never be president calm down
Question: We Americans did shit in Rwanda now what are we going to do in Darfur
Dodd: get our military out of iraq and into a safe place like Sudan
Clinton: send some UN Peacekeepers and provide NATO support
Smiley: not American troops that’s weak
Clinton: ok we could shoot their planes down like in Top Gun
Biden: I’ve been yelling about this for years create a no-fly zone and put American troops on the ground!!
Smiley: not bad dood too bad you can’t win either
Richardson: genocide is more important that sports so lets pull out of the Olympics in China also we need to address the massive rapes
Smiley: ok enough out of you
Edwards: what if we spent the money from Iraq to give every kid in Africa a high school education
Smiley: umm, okay...
Edwards: and fund stopping disease and economic development and clean drinking water and-
Smiley: yur done
Gravel: I’m thirsty and Matlock is coming on
Obama: save the kidz in Zimbabwe and save the world!
Kucinich: if Darfur had oil we would occupy it right now!!!
Audience: right on!
Smiley: someone shut Keebler up
Gravel: huh? What? oh right? I’m supposed to speak uhh...
Audience: we can’t hear you grandpa
Gravel: ehhh, you all suck I’m gonna go watch Matclock
Smiley: and that will wrap up tonight’s debate thank you all for watching!
*******************************************************************************
Democratic Presidential Debate
June 28, 2007
Channel: PBS
Location: Howard University
Moderator: Tavis Smiley
****************************************************
Tavis Smiley: hi i'm Tavis Smiley and as you can see i'm more compelling than our president and most of the candidates as well
[ cut to audience reading books ]
Smiley: u can't lead people if u don't luv people and so tonite we're going to ask the candidates how much they luv people and i mean LUV PEOPLE!!
Audience: woo!
Smiley: let quote Paul Robeson another man much smarter and more accomplished than our President and everyone else running
Gov. Deval Patrick: hi and if you can't see yur tv -- yes i'm actually black
Smiley: right on
Patrick: just because the GOP party totally sucks doesn't mean we're going to vote Democrat they've got to show they're for real!
Audience: yeah!
[ Interminable photo op of all the candidates ]
[ candidates mill around aimlessly ]
Smiley: The first question comes from the winner of an online contest:
Online Contest Winner: w.e.b. DuBois said race wuz a big deal in America. Is race still a big deal?
Hillary Clinton: you're damm right it is i mean sure you got Obama over there and Richardson and i'm kinda black since i'm a woman - but look at Katrina and today's overturning of brown v. board of education it’s terrible i'm just glad thurgood marshall is dead so he didn't live to see this
Joe Biden: oh yeah the Supremes are all assholes especially teh black guy - but remember when i wore the funny hate in the Alito confirmation hearings? I even made Mrs Alito cry!!
Bill Richardson: race is totally important in the USA and as you can see i'm looking extra dark tonight as proof i'm down with african americans
Guest: uh-huh
Richardson: i'm Latiiiiinoooooooo!!!!
John Edwards: i'm an honorary black because i'm from north carolina where there are lot of historically black colleges
Guest: totally
Edwards: i luv to talk about poverty and the 2 americas, its about education and health care and don’t forget fucking voting rights!
Audience: yeah!
Obama: well unlike everyone else what would i know about race [rolls eyes]
Guest: heh
Obama: but i'm also an american and it's good for america to make progress in this area
Audience: woo!
[ cut to al sharpton in audience sitting next to harry belafonte ]
Smiley: Well that a very boring answer Barack
Dennis Kucinich: I hear you someone stole my boots -- but anyway we need a constitutional amendment guaranteeing kindergarten, a high school education, health care, head start, college...
Audience: yay!
Smiley: ok that's enough
Gravel: dood don’t fool yourself this country will be racist for a long time here's teh proof the war on drugs is targeting minorities and inner cities when will we learn dammitt i pledge to legalize all drugs!!
Dodd: i live in Connecticut so i'm not going to pretend to understand the black man but i will say that schools in my state are segregated so i will overturn today’s supreme court decision toot suite
Smiley: don't cross me doods yur in my house but now i will turn the show over to 2 black journalists and 1 miscellaneous guy
Wickham: black unemployment what's up
Biden: the problems start when they're born like for example black mothers don't talk to their children enough i've studied this
Wickham: that’s your solution
Biden: smaller classrooms and better teachers
Richardson: people always say, ‘how will u pay for education but no one ever sez how will u pay for a war’
Audience: yeah!
Richardson: better breakfasts like egg mcmuffins with sausage I luv those
Edwards: this is the cause of my life!! but look there is no one single cause of poverty -- we need to start really, really, early like at the zygote stage
Smiley: oh ok
Edwards: also help unions and raise wages
Obama: more parental counseling cause black parents need a lot of advice
Smiley: sing it brother
Obama: we need more after-school specials like ‘dood i think my mom is an alcoholic my dad said so when he was abusing me’
Smiley: yeah that was a good one
Obama: these are all our children!
Kucinich: doods workingmen of the world need to unite and defund the war and cut 15% of the Pentagon budget!!
Audience: awesome!
[ big applause ]
Gravel: dennis u r too conservative i would cut so much more from the military budget the people must revolt!!
Audience: boo-yah!!
[ wild applause ]
Dodd: umm...yeah… well...uh... see.. i'm not that radical but i always support the black or african types working at the country club and Head Start is important...
Smiley: ok enough white dood
Clinton: hey I’m wearing pink and black!
Smiley: u look like an extra from ‘Grease’
Clinton: doods i've fought for education rights but let's be really fucking honest there is real goddam racism out there!!
Audience: finally!
Questioner: AIDS crisis what's up
Richardson: dood we need needles but we also have to go to the source in Africa and u gotta admit George Bush is really good on this i mean teh dude is on the cover of ‘Vanity Fair’!!!
Edwards: black women are much more likely to get AIDS did u know that
Smiley: yes i did
Edwards: anyway we should cure AIDS that would help
Obama: you are all missing the point too many black women are getting AIDS because we don't talk about AIDS in teh black community there is a stigma to it because of homophobia
Smiley: really I'm surprised u said that
Obama: wait there's more -- I’ll be really honest all these things like poverty and education and poor health care and behavior are interconnected like Paris Hilton said ‘its a vicious circle’ -- the black community has a disease to its immune system and if it’s not AIDS it's drugs or it's guns and everyone here knows it but they’re too politically correct to say so
Smiley: wow
Kucinich: the Keebler elves have suffered discrimination so i know what the black community is going thru
Smiley: that’s good point
Kucinich: we need to teach teenagers about sex but michael moore is right we need Cuban health care
Gravel: i challenge the whippersnappers on the stage to end the War On Drugs heck i'm on nine different pillz right now all i see are seven flying creatures!
Dodd: well im certainly glad i get to follow Mike Gravel… i can't tell u how happy i am about that -- anyway i know that blacks have obesity and diabetes and shit like that so yeah..um…
Smiley: enough dood yur boring
Gravel: back back you flying dogs aaahhhh
Clinton: Right on Smiley yur my homey!
Smiley: i luv you too darlin'
Clinton: if AIDS were the leading cause of death of white women people would get mad and you’re damm right something would be done about it!!
Audience: oh yeah!!
[ standing ovation ]
Clinton: i rock -- though im not Paris Hilton heh heh -- lets fund AIDS its not a gay men’s disease
Audience: uh-huh!!
Biden: fuck u all so i'm white - so what!!
Smiley: calm down dood
Biden: goddammit i've been tested for AIDS with my partner Barack Obama and i told black women stop having sex and i even taught black men how to put on a condom -- of course my was smaller and I’m not ashamed to admit it!!!
Obama: whoa hold on dood i'm not gay i wuz tested with my fucking wife in Kenya cause you know AIDS is everywhere there
Smiley: if you say so dood but have Michelle call me if anything changes
Biden: hey I had a brief affair with Magic Johnson i got tested because i though i had fucking AIDS!!!
Smiley: warren buffett sez rich aren't taxed enough
Edwards: why is wealth taxed less than work it’s wrong
Obama: damm right look people don't want charity just basic fairness
Gravel: end the income tax!! It's corrupt! National regressive sales tax!!!
Dodd: oh good lord Gravel is giving me a fucking headache… I say we should give a tax break to Halliburton if they relocate to the inner city
Smiley: yeah thats a real good plan
Clinton: whatever dood all i know is under Bill and me the economy totally rocked
Biden: as a black man i say we should lower taxes
Richardson: zero taxes for technology start ups and the ones that hire doods in the inner city
Smiley: but that will never happen
Richardson: new jobs and -
Smiley: shut up -- ok what about blacks in prison
Obama: racial profiling is bad but then u get accused of being soft on crime
Kucinich: drug rehab not jail like the Hollywood kids do it
Gravel: nothing will change until you take to the streets with torches and pitchforks!!!
Dood: there’s a huge disparity in the quality of crack and powdered cocaine in this country and that troubles me
Clinton: I agree we need to look at powder and crack cocaine and get a better attorney general and president who isn’t hooked on both
audience: yee-haw!
Biden: a lot of doods get addicted to drugs in jail
Richardson: i learned about the plight of blacks from reading Travis Smiley’s book and i learned we should let Americans join a union
Kucinich: Levees dood! There are not even jobs for people in New Orleans!
Question: right of people from New Orleans to return yes or no??
Dodd: sure why not this debate was a big mistake anyway
Gravel: War on Drugs! Iraq is bad!
Clinton: I have a 10 point plan to address New Orleans hospitals, fire departments, police, workers, and --
Biden: its a national problem now lets go to town!
Richardson: it’s a disgrace I would support right of return also I support the ‘Katrina and the Waves Act’ of Representative Waters
Edwards: I would create a cabinet position just to rebuild New Orleans that dood would report to me everyday
Obama: everyone just assumed the people of New Orleans could just get in their air conditioned SUVs with their Perrier - the neglect began before the hurricane
Question: outsourcing is a big problem who’s side are you on
Gravel: no outsourcing is not a problem all my opponents want to fund health care on he backs of hard working corporations!
Dodd: finally an opening from the Senator Crazy! Yes I object to outsourcing I have a plan to prevent the Pentagon from outsourcing jobs
Smiley: how will that help dood
Dodd: it won’t it’s a gimmick
Clinton: sure it’s a problem I tried to help upstate new york with my 10 point plan its about better education and nine other points
Biden: tax breaks won’t do it we need to help corporations and build more tunnels and bridges
Smiley: tunnels dood ok
Richardson : I would beef up science and math education and ban slave and child labor
Edwards: my dad was fired from his mill because of outsourcing we need to stop tax breaks for buzineses that fired my dad
Obama: I turned down high paying law firm jobs to help people fired due to outsourcing - so suck it John Edwards
Kucinich: yur all phonies I’ve been arrested lots to times to protest worker conditions – when I’m President I’m going to cancel NAFTA
Moderator: dood you will never be president calm down
Question: We Americans did shit in Rwanda now what are we going to do in Darfur
Dodd: get our military out of iraq and into a safe place like Sudan
Clinton: send some UN Peacekeepers and provide NATO support
Smiley: not American troops that’s weak
Clinton: ok we could shoot their planes down like in Top Gun
Biden: I’ve been yelling about this for years create a no-fly zone and put American troops on the ground!!
Smiley: not bad dood too bad you can’t win either
Richardson: genocide is more important that sports so lets pull out of the Olympics in China also we need to address the massive rapes
Smiley: ok enough out of you
Edwards: what if we spent the money from Iraq to give every kid in Africa a high school education
Smiley: umm, okay...
Edwards: and fund stopping disease and economic development and clean drinking water and-
Smiley: yur done
Gravel: I’m thirsty and Matlock is coming on
Obama: save the kidz in Zimbabwe and save the world!
Kucinich: if Darfur had oil we would occupy it right now!!!
Audience: right on!
Smiley: someone shut Keebler up
Gravel: huh? What? oh right? I’m supposed to speak uhh...
Audience: we can’t hear you grandpa
Gravel: ehhh, you all suck I’m gonna go watch Matclock
Smiley: and that will wrap up tonight’s debate thank you all for watching!
*******************************************************************************
Joe Scarborough in the Morning - June 29, 2007
****************************************************
Joe Scarborough in the Morning - June 29, 2007
Guest: Major General Batiste
****************************************************
Joe Scarborough: how badly off are our armed forces
Major General Batiste: they’re in terrible shape and this nation is not mobilized behind our armed forces although they are doing a hell of job
Joe: yeah they’re amazing and they're only interested in getting the job done
Batiste: that’s true they’re heroes but their government let them down and the Republican party let them down - the neocons in Congress and especially the President
Joe: The Republicans in Congress never stood up to Donald Rumsfeld it’s all his fault
Batiste: Iraq isn’t even the most dangerous nation in the world we’ve got bigger fish to fry
Joe: how many troops do we really need in Iraq to succeed?
Batiste: securing Baghdad is not enough - the insurgents are always going to go where we are not.
Joe: so how many?
Batiste: We need at least three times as many troops as we have now this surge is nothing but a tiny reinforcement
Joe: it is time to pull out?
Batiste: the solution is political, not military - it’s time to pull out and get on with the job of combating worldwide Islamic extremism
Joe: I completely agree
****************************************************
Joe Scarborough in the Morning - June 29, 2007
Guest: Major General Batiste
****************************************************
Joe Scarborough: how badly off are our armed forces
Major General Batiste: they’re in terrible shape and this nation is not mobilized behind our armed forces although they are doing a hell of job
Joe: yeah they’re amazing and they're only interested in getting the job done
Batiste: that’s true they’re heroes but their government let them down and the Republican party let them down - the neocons in Congress and especially the President
Joe: The Republicans in Congress never stood up to Donald Rumsfeld it’s all his fault
Batiste: Iraq isn’t even the most dangerous nation in the world we’ve got bigger fish to fry
Joe: how many troops do we really need in Iraq to succeed?
Batiste: securing Baghdad is not enough - the insurgents are always going to go where we are not.
Joe: so how many?
Batiste: We need at least three times as many troops as we have now this surge is nothing but a tiny reinforcement
Joe: it is time to pull out?
Batiste: the solution is political, not military - it’s time to pull out and get on with the job of combating worldwide Islamic extremism
Joe: I completely agree
****************************************************
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Joe Scarborough in the Morning - June 28, 2007
************************************************************
Joe Scarborough in the Morning - June 28, 2007
Guest: Ron Paul
*************************************************************
Scarborough: how is it that the party of Reagan ran up record spending and deficits and wrecked our fiscal situation?
Ron Paul: cause power corrupts dood
Scarborough: Republicans go home and every 2 years scam their voters and the voters are dumb and say “oh i have to vote for the Republican or we will have higher taxes and spending” and its all lies how do they get away with that??
Paul: oh they say they believe it but of course they use pork to please their constituents and use it to get reelected
Scarborough: it turns out Clinton was also right about limited military commitments too
Paul: yeah they're all liars about that too Bush campaigned against nation building but guess what the neocons got their claws in him and now we're stuck in iraq blame the people they don't pay attention
Scarborough: what's teh answer
Paul: the internet and bloggers
Scarborough: can't vote Republican and can’t support the Democrats because liberals are all hippies what’s the answer
Paul: vote libertarian dood
Scarborough: anyone else you like
Paul: tom tancredo
Scarborough: Rudy Giuliani?
Paul: my goodness no
Scarborough: well i luv u
******************************************************
Joe Scarborough in the Morning - June 28, 2007
Guest: Ron Paul
*************************************************************
Scarborough: how is it that the party of Reagan ran up record spending and deficits and wrecked our fiscal situation?
Ron Paul: cause power corrupts dood
Scarborough: Republicans go home and every 2 years scam their voters and the voters are dumb and say “oh i have to vote for the Republican or we will have higher taxes and spending” and its all lies how do they get away with that??
Paul: oh they say they believe it but of course they use pork to please their constituents and use it to get reelected
Scarborough: it turns out Clinton was also right about limited military commitments too
Paul: yeah they're all liars about that too Bush campaigned against nation building but guess what the neocons got their claws in him and now we're stuck in iraq blame the people they don't pay attention
Scarborough: what's teh answer
Paul: the internet and bloggers
Scarborough: can't vote Republican and can’t support the Democrats because liberals are all hippies what’s the answer
Paul: vote libertarian dood
Scarborough: anyone else you like
Paul: tom tancredo
Scarborough: Rudy Giuliani?
Paul: my goodness no
Scarborough: well i luv u
******************************************************
Larry King Live with Paris Hilton -- June 27, 2007
******************************************************
Larry King Live - June 27, 2007
Guest: Paris Hilton
******************************************************
King: what the fuck is wrong with u
Paris: i have claustrophobia jail made me cry
King: how did u deal with teh claustrophobia in the lockup dood
Paris: i totally imagined i was in a special place like teh Viper Room
King: r u cured?
Paris: well now that i’m of teh jail out of course
King: was teh judge an asshole 2 u
Paris: my lawyer sez i should've got community service like polishing oscars or something
King: is this yur fault
Paris: i wuz immature but im better now
King: who r yur frendz
Paris: I wuz in with a bad crowd
King: so did u cut them off
Paris: i only had to cut out everyone in los angelez der all airheadz
King: do u know how 2 reed
Paris: i have a screenplay dood
King: do u want to be a mom
Paris: when i have kidz that will rock
King: r u in luv
Paris: no but i will have sex with a dood
King: what dood will have u
Paris: some crazy dood
King: have u found yurself
Paris: im looking dood
King: whats the worst thing about u
Paris: im a hysteric
King: when we come back we'll talk about Paris and her mental problemz
[ break ]
King: r u on drugs
Paris: since i wuz 5 yrs old ive had ADD
King: other drugz?
Paris: no way
King: MADD is mad at u
Paris: yeah but im a good example to the kidz
King: have u ever used illegal drugz
Paris: no never
King: r u a big drinker
Paris: no way dood
King: then why were u convicted of drunk driving and all the other stories i reed
Paris: dood people lied
King: yeah but yur on teh intertubes having sex with teh tri-state areaz
Paris: i wuz on teh dark path dood
King: r u mentally ill
Paris: like what do u mean
King: r u crazee
Paris: aren't we all a little nutz
King: r u back full-time to yur career
Paris: yes now i'm back to my job
King: wtf is it dood
Paris: I’m a buzinez woman
King: r u a party girl
PAris: im a social person
King: what don't we know about u
Paris: i dont take money from my family i do moviez and tv and i had a book on teh New York Timez bestseller listz
King: u have made many writerz very sad
Paris: dood my book about teh prison will rock
King: will nicole go 2 jail 2
Paris: i luv that little bitch
King: briteny spearz dish
Paris: shes hawt
King: yeah but shes teh crazee driver
Paris: dood thatz not illegal in los angelez
King: were u 2 privileged
Paris: I wuz in teh hilton bubble
King: r u normal
Paris: dood of course
King: yeah but u blew off teh legal system
Paris: fuck u, i wuz in jail and i did my time
King: lindsay lohan
Paris: shes hawt
King: is she yur BFF
Paris: we had sex but i dont know her
King: will u go 2 rehab
Paris: no way dood im no mark foley i have integrity
King: jail wuz it awesome
Paris: i ordered a Bible from teh commisary
King: letz look at yur mugshot
Paris: itz hawt
King: were u strip searched
Paris: yeah totally
King: tell me about it
Paris: it was humiliating and hawt
King: r u a criminal
Paris: no way dood its unfair
King: u drove without a license
Paris: its like a misunderstanding dood
King: read 2 me from yur journal
Paris: dood these wimmin in teh jail r in a vicious circle its so sad
King: teh new Paris will we see less of u
Paris: im totally mature and different now like i could be a role model
King: awesome tomorrow we’ll continue Whore Week with our guest Colin Powell
***********************************************************
Larry King Live - June 27, 2007
Guest: Paris Hilton
******************************************************
King: what the fuck is wrong with u
Paris: i have claustrophobia jail made me cry
King: how did u deal with teh claustrophobia in the lockup dood
Paris: i totally imagined i was in a special place like teh Viper Room
King: r u cured?
Paris: well now that i’m of teh jail out of course
King: was teh judge an asshole 2 u
Paris: my lawyer sez i should've got community service like polishing oscars or something
King: is this yur fault
Paris: i wuz immature but im better now
King: who r yur frendz
Paris: I wuz in with a bad crowd
King: so did u cut them off
Paris: i only had to cut out everyone in los angelez der all airheadz
King: do u know how 2 reed
Paris: i have a screenplay dood
King: do u want to be a mom
Paris: when i have kidz that will rock
King: r u in luv
Paris: no but i will have sex with a dood
King: what dood will have u
Paris: some crazy dood
King: have u found yurself
Paris: im looking dood
King: whats the worst thing about u
Paris: im a hysteric
King: when we come back we'll talk about Paris and her mental problemz
[ break ]
King: r u on drugs
Paris: since i wuz 5 yrs old ive had ADD
King: other drugz?
Paris: no way
King: MADD is mad at u
Paris: yeah but im a good example to the kidz
King: have u ever used illegal drugz
Paris: no never
King: r u a big drinker
Paris: no way dood
King: then why were u convicted of drunk driving and all the other stories i reed
Paris: dood people lied
King: yeah but yur on teh intertubes having sex with teh tri-state areaz
Paris: i wuz on teh dark path dood
King: r u mentally ill
Paris: like what do u mean
King: r u crazee
Paris: aren't we all a little nutz
King: r u back full-time to yur career
Paris: yes now i'm back to my job
King: wtf is it dood
Paris: I’m a buzinez woman
King: r u a party girl
PAris: im a social person
King: what don't we know about u
Paris: i dont take money from my family i do moviez and tv and i had a book on teh New York Timez bestseller listz
King: u have made many writerz very sad
Paris: dood my book about teh prison will rock
King: will nicole go 2 jail 2
Paris: i luv that little bitch
King: briteny spearz dish
Paris: shes hawt
King: yeah but shes teh crazee driver
Paris: dood thatz not illegal in los angelez
King: were u 2 privileged
Paris: I wuz in teh hilton bubble
King: r u normal
Paris: dood of course
King: yeah but u blew off teh legal system
Paris: fuck u, i wuz in jail and i did my time
King: lindsay lohan
Paris: shes hawt
King: is she yur BFF
Paris: we had sex but i dont know her
King: will u go 2 rehab
Paris: no way dood im no mark foley i have integrity
King: jail wuz it awesome
Paris: i ordered a Bible from teh commisary
King: letz look at yur mugshot
Paris: itz hawt
King: were u strip searched
Paris: yeah totally
King: tell me about it
Paris: it was humiliating and hawt
King: r u a criminal
Paris: no way dood its unfair
King: u drove without a license
Paris: its like a misunderstanding dood
King: read 2 me from yur journal
Paris: dood these wimmin in teh jail r in a vicious circle its so sad
King: teh new Paris will we see less of u
Paris: im totally mature and different now like i could be a role model
King: awesome tomorrow we’ll continue Whore Week with our guest Colin Powell
***********************************************************
Monday, June 25, 2007
Gloom and Doom on a Sunny Day, Dude!
**********************************************************
Gloom and Doom on a Sunny Day, Dude!!
by Emily Yoffe
The Washington Post
Monday, June 25, 2007
**********************************************************
“Sunny days, chasing the clouds away...”
Okay, so I’m hanging with my girlfriends and they’re all like, “wow, it’s 75 degrees in January, this like really really scary!!!” and I’m like, “no way guys this is totally awesome!!”
This dude called Al Gore, who I think is like a teacher or something, is trying to scare us and bum us out with all this global warming stuff.
Like, what...ever!!! That guy is just trying to terrify a lot of innocent little children so he can win like a Noble Prize or Oscar or whatever. And dude, that is just so uncool.
I refuse to hear it. It’s hawt and as far as I’m concerned that totally rocks! Who wants to shovel snow when you can sunbathe in balmy weather??
Next he’ll tell me I can "get skin cancer" if I don’t "wear sunscreen." What a killjoy that dude is!!
You don’t protect people from terrible stuff by being all negative, you know.
Like my friend Stacy, she totally had an eating disorder. Finally we were all like, "Stacy, you should eat more or you will totally like die and stuff." Well she almost did die, but you know why she finally started eating??
'Cause this hunky dude Brad said, "Stacy yur totally hawt but yur too skinny." And that’s what did it. So it just goes to show you scaring people doesn’t always work. Guess Al Gore doesn’t know everything!!
Anyway, sure global warming is bad, but c’mon, it’s not like when the Nazis bombed Peal Harbor or when Saddam attacked New York City. It’s the weather dood!!
Now we hear Gore is gonna be everywhere this summer ('cause it warm, right!?) He’s got a movie and kid’s book and tv shows and a concert.
That could be cool and I like Leo DiCaprio (hey did u hear he’s gonna make a new movie with Kate Winselt? Sooo awesome!!!) But dood this had better not interfere with Dancing with the Stars or Deal or No Deal or the Duran Duran tour or I will totally not care about climate change or whatever they call it, and I think speak for many reality show fans out there!!
Ok, sure global warming could be real and destroy the human species and whatever, but, like, enough already with all the doom and gloom, dude!
I mean, the weather isn’t like out to get us or something, and if it’s nice shouldn’t we just sit back and enjoy it?? Hey look, Al Roker doesn’t always get it right so who’s to say??
(Whatever happened to Willard Scott anyway? And why isn’t he in An Inconvenient Truth??? Maybe he wouldn’t play ball??!!)
You can imagine my relief when I found out civilization won’t be shot until the end of the century, cause I totally hate the heat. (So do my dogs, Paris and Nicole, they just roll around on the bathroom floor, it’s soooo cute!!)
Anyway, the experts all got Iraq wrong so we should we trust them with weather predictions!!?? Give me a break, man.
You know, these so-called experts can’t even tell me what the weather was like 200 years ago, but they know what it will be like 100 years from now?? And for this I’m supposed to give up my Hummer?? (Which totally bitching, by the way.) I don’t think so!!!
The truth no one knows why anything happens anyway. And the weather?? It’s inexplicable, like why Ben Affleck keeps getting cast in movies.
Gore is just trying to scare everybody, even though he says he down on scary movies and stuff (Although you should totally see Scary Movie – it’s the best!!)
But you know, just because some egg-headed dweeb plots something on a graph doesn’t make it true. The real truth is your heart.
At least that’s what my friend Stacy says.
*********************************************************************
Gloom and Doom on a Sunny Day, Dude!!
by Emily Yoffe
The Washington Post
Monday, June 25, 2007
**********************************************************
“Sunny days, chasing the clouds away...”
Okay, so I’m hanging with my girlfriends and they’re all like, “wow, it’s 75 degrees in January, this like really really scary!!!” and I’m like, “no way guys this is totally awesome!!”
This dude called Al Gore, who I think is like a teacher or something, is trying to scare us and bum us out with all this global warming stuff.
Like, what...ever!!! That guy is just trying to terrify a lot of innocent little children so he can win like a Noble Prize or Oscar or whatever. And dude, that is just so uncool.
I refuse to hear it. It’s hawt and as far as I’m concerned that totally rocks! Who wants to shovel snow when you can sunbathe in balmy weather??
Next he’ll tell me I can "get skin cancer" if I don’t "wear sunscreen." What a killjoy that dude is!!
You don’t protect people from terrible stuff by being all negative, you know.
Like my friend Stacy, she totally had an eating disorder. Finally we were all like, "Stacy, you should eat more or you will totally like die and stuff." Well she almost did die, but you know why she finally started eating??
'Cause this hunky dude Brad said, "Stacy yur totally hawt but yur too skinny." And that’s what did it. So it just goes to show you scaring people doesn’t always work. Guess Al Gore doesn’t know everything!!
Anyway, sure global warming is bad, but c’mon, it’s not like when the Nazis bombed Peal Harbor or when Saddam attacked New York City. It’s the weather dood!!
Now we hear Gore is gonna be everywhere this summer ('cause it warm, right!?) He’s got a movie and kid’s book and tv shows and a concert.
That could be cool and I like Leo DiCaprio (hey did u hear he’s gonna make a new movie with Kate Winselt? Sooo awesome!!!) But dood this had better not interfere with Dancing with the Stars or Deal or No Deal or the Duran Duran tour or I will totally not care about climate change or whatever they call it, and I think speak for many reality show fans out there!!
Ok, sure global warming could be real and destroy the human species and whatever, but, like, enough already with all the doom and gloom, dude!
I mean, the weather isn’t like out to get us or something, and if it’s nice shouldn’t we just sit back and enjoy it?? Hey look, Al Roker doesn’t always get it right so who’s to say??
(Whatever happened to Willard Scott anyway? And why isn’t he in An Inconvenient Truth??? Maybe he wouldn’t play ball??!!)
You can imagine my relief when I found out civilization won’t be shot until the end of the century, cause I totally hate the heat. (So do my dogs, Paris and Nicole, they just roll around on the bathroom floor, it’s soooo cute!!)
Anyway, the experts all got Iraq wrong so we should we trust them with weather predictions!!?? Give me a break, man.
You know, these so-called experts can’t even tell me what the weather was like 200 years ago, but they know what it will be like 100 years from now?? And for this I’m supposed to give up my Hummer?? (Which totally bitching, by the way.) I don’t think so!!!
The truth no one knows why anything happens anyway. And the weather?? It’s inexplicable, like why Ben Affleck keeps getting cast in movies.
Gore is just trying to scare everybody, even though he says he down on scary movies and stuff (Although you should totally see Scary Movie – it’s the best!!)
But you know, just because some egg-headed dweeb plots something on a graph doesn’t make it true. The real truth is your heart.
At least that’s what my friend Stacy says.
*********************************************************************
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Meet The Press - June 24, 2007
*********************************************************
Meet The Press - June 24, 2007
Guests:
Patrick J. Buchanan
Congressman Luis Gutierrez
*********************************************************
Tim Russert: okay this immigration bill would install radar detectors for those speedy Gonzalez-type illegals and allow illegal immigrants to stay here -- what’s wrong with that I mean dammit my lawn in Nantucket isn’t going to mow itself
Buchanan: this is rewarding massive criminality its fucking outrageous please fetch my fainting couch and pearls
Tim Russert: oh my
Buchanan: this is the beginning of a massive invasion they’re like locusts or African bees but much scarier and they wash dishes
Russert: wow yikes
Buchanan: they’re all brown and it’s like adding a new Mexico every 18 minutes
Russert: omg!!!!
Buchanan: the whole world is watching its like the 1960s protests but we’re protesting to send a bunch of people *to* the third world
Russert: wow i’m petrified!
Buchanan: it’s the beginning of the end of the USA!!!!
President George W. Bush [on tape]: it’s not amnesty and if you say it yur scaring people
Buchanan: no I’m not trying to scare people but it is amnesty and bush is a moron who won’t build a massive electronic fence to keep out the Brown Horde!!!!
Russert: so then president bush is full of shit
Buchanan: 500,000 criminals tried to break into my precious white country that’s as many as in the entire US Army we can’t fight them all omg!!!!!
Congressman Luis Gutierrez: its’ not amnesty its a pathway to legalization I means there’s a soldier in iraq and his wife is illegal and she’s being deported
Russert: so we pass this bill because of that?
Gutierrez: no but it will take 65 years to deport all these illegal doods and my guess is that in the intervening 65 years a few more illegals would come in to the US
Russert: he makes a good point dood
Gutierrez: the Irish, the Italians, and the Chinese all came here in the same way and if we banned immigrants it would grind the American economy to a halt!!!
Buchanan: no way dood 12 million is the number of whites who came here on the Mayflower and the nina and the santa maria and the pina colada its an illegal invasion!!!!
Russert: wow how do we get rid of them??!!!
Buchanan: just deport the child molesters and drunk drivers and rapists
Russert: what do Americas politicians have to do with this
Buchanan: look we just need to build a big fence hopefully with barbed wire and some electricity - zap!!!
Russert: u would keep dad and the baby but deport little Mommy are u heartless dood
Buchanan: no but look 2/3 of the actors in Los Angeles are anchor babies and we treat them just as if mexican citizens were white citizens or something
Russert: wow what's up with that
Buchanan: anchors only tie u down they should put them to work doing work no decent American would do like a sitcom on the WB
Gutierrez: Buchanan is obsessed with brown people and he’s casting a dark shadow they’re not all drunk drivers or rapists and anyway we need all these illegal workers to support social security for the baby boomers
Russert: Pat dood without illegals we would not have farming, cleaning, and the Tim Russert Compound in Nantucket would be overrun by gophers
Buchanan: bullshit the American blue collar worker is suffering and this won’t help
Gutierrez: hey dood who’s working the pesticide-ridden grape fields? Illegal Mexicans that’s who
Buchanan: I hate grapes so shut up
Gutierrez: I will not shut up
Pat Buchanan: wake up and smell the coffee its better than wine
Gutierrez: speaking of whining - all this talk about illegals on welfare is bullshit
Buchanan: who gives shit illegals get free America high school education
Gutierrez: big fucking deal who wants a US high school education
Buchanan: I wash my own car and mow my own damn lawn
Russert: holy shit my houseboy does all that
Buchanan: my dad used to work construction and it was great and I’m a friend to the African-American working man
Gutierrez: hey the illegals are getting fingerprinted and pay fines that’s a big deal
Buchanan: did u read my crazy diatribe of a book dood????
Gutierrez: it’s unfair to poor illegal immigrants that they have to compete with American workers
Russert: thats interesting logic dood
Buchanan: when Italians who came the losers went home and we got to keep the good ones and none of them were criminals it was great
Russert: ok Hispanics are all democrats does that worry you Pat Buchanan
Buchanan: hey pete wilson’s great political career was made on bashing illegals
Russert: dood pete wilson who??
Pat: ok good point -- but illegals are criminals ergo it should always be illegal
Gutierrez: I want to keep the good ones and fingerprint the bad ones and send them away
Tim: can Republicans win without hispanic vote?
Gutierrez: let me issue a thinly veiled threat approve amnesty if you don’t support illegal immigration you will lose elections - get it dood
Buchanan: what u are saying is a threat
Gutierrez: hey there are Hispanics on the Vietnam wall
Buchanan: we need hispanic voters but we can do without brown voters
Russert: whats the difference?
Buchanan: when u vote Republican you cease to be brown
Gutierrez: i would like to fingerprint the immigrants but look dood they are not hordes to us they sit in pews like normal wingnut people
Buchnan: aaaarrrrhhhhhhhhgggg!!!!!!
Gutierrez: embrace brown people or lose elections that's they way it works
Buchanan: i would rather lose elections that sit back watch a scary brown invasion!!!!!
[ break ]
Russert: Limbaugh is mad is immigration cracking up teh GOP
Harwood: it’s sad when a political party is in trouble the wingnut base has too much influence and bush is right u can't win without hispanic vote
Russert: but pete Wilson dood!!
Harwood: Stillson dood!!
Russert: David Broder we all know u will do anything and tell any number of lies to bash democrats what's up with that
Broder: the democrats need to do the nation's business which means doing whatever George W. Bush wants i speak for the people and they hate bickering
Gwen Ifill: david broder is right all of america's problems are the fault of liberal democrats they're always digging in their heels and standing for something instead of caving into the GOP it's so sad
Russert: it’s horrible
Ifill: look at the debate you just hosted they were fighting instead of getting along like we do in Nantucket it’s so awful
Roger Simon: that is so stupid David Broder is a senile right wing whacko and he is full of shit -- he doesn't know any ordinary Americans and this isn't a crisis it's a fake issue ginned up by Broder and his weirdo friends -- go after employers or don’t bother
Broder: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Russert: Hillary Clinton is "Slick Hillary" because she will not say Right Now who her Secretary of Labor will be!!!!!
Ifill: Tim Russert that's is so stupid nobody gives a shit Bill Clinton won by parsing words moron but only Hillary only get bashed by people like u and Chris Matthews interesting isn’t it??
Broder: i luv Hillary after all she is moving to the right and never answers any questions and she adjusts her message for every audience it’s all very Beltway
Russert: let's look at the Sopranos ad
[shows ad - Clinton “no onion rings??”]
Ifill: ha ha the unwashed masses are gonna feel jerked around from this like david chase did to me
Peggy Noonan [ quote ]: hillary clinton has to prove she's not a grimly combative cold heartless bitch
Harwood: Hillary won't swing for the fences she's more Ty Cobb than a Babe
Simon: Noonan is dead wrong people want competence not “who you want to have a beer with” I mean who gives a shit besides dood people actually like Hillary!!
Harwood: people are skeptical of Obama
Russert: is Barack Obama fucked
Harwood: no way he's exciting and charismatic he just has to stop fucking up
Russert: so it's between them
Harwood: no edwards is leading in iowa dood
Russert: Rudy's iowa state campaign manager is a crack dealer and he blew off America’s national security so he could fulfill his pole-dancing duties at Satin Dolls
Ifill: is it really a good excuse that Rudy told the Iraq Study Group to fuck off so could run for President??
Ifill: the polls don’t mean shit which is good news for Rudy
Broder: i don't know Rudy Giuliani but i hear he's a megalomanical nutjob
Russert: but Rudy on September 11 he was so wonderful!!
Harwood: dood some unannounced actor is beating the little cross-dressing fascist
Simon: Mitt Romney is a heartless flip flopping hypocritical bastard
Russert: Mitt's campaign guy’s are impersonating state troopers that’s pretty weird
Simon: this soldier from Iraq won the Bronze star and wants to be a cop and Romney stopped him so he could win the wingnut vote
Harwood: well that crazy but dood but Romney's real mistake was messing with a Times reporter -- do not fuck with the media!!!!
Russert: Fred Thompson is so cool!!!!!!
Harwood: yeah its weird but don’t count out Mitt Romney
Broder: Fred Thompson is a lazy arrogant fucker
Ifill: McCain is a real American hero because he sticks with idiotic positions
Russert: we should definitely elect someone like that
Ifill: Fred McGruff is spanking him without even trying
Simon: its all about hating on brown people with the GOP
Timmeh: let me serve some more as the Blooomberg campaign spokesman by describing excitedly how he could win and saying he is loved by blacks and whites and all the other miscellaneous ethnicities
Broder: they let me out of the home a few months ago to talk to Bloomie and i was wearing an onion on my belt and the subway costs five bees and-
Tim: ok enough he may spend a billion what's up
Simon: this is totally unrealistic besides asking people constantly to give you money is a great way to build a base of support and Bloomberg doesn't have to do that and it will hurt him
Timmy: dood i never heard that cause it's fucking stupid
Broder: i can't believe i missed Matlock for this show
Russert: he’s worth $8 billion I love it!!!!
Ifill: jeebus fucking christ all that is stoopid his only support is from the media apparently that's all Bloomberg needs
Simon: criminy this is a total fantasy Bloomberg can't win
Harwood: but Hillary is so evil if she runs Satan should run!!!
Ifill: Bloomberg is playing the media like a fiddle like in a contest with the devil in Georgia
Harwood: it’s like Ross Perot in 1992 because we also have a really bad President named George Bush
Simon: i like the way we talk about Bloomberg’s money and no one here knows what his positions are on anything
Broder: yur young whippersnappers are much too dismissive teh Democratic Congress is destroying America!!!!
Simon: dood do u think he could win
Broder: Absolutely!!
Russert: pollz say Democrats are leading for the next Presidential election
Broder: people in this country hate both terrible extreme parties
Ifill: I bow to David Broder and his senile ideas but really fuck off old man
Harwod: Dems should win in 2008 but then again Hillary is hated so who knows
Broder: Matlock's on i'm outta here
Meet The Press - June 24, 2007
Guests:
Patrick J. Buchanan
Congressman Luis Gutierrez
*********************************************************
Tim Russert: okay this immigration bill would install radar detectors for those speedy Gonzalez-type illegals and allow illegal immigrants to stay here -- what’s wrong with that I mean dammit my lawn in Nantucket isn’t going to mow itself
Buchanan: this is rewarding massive criminality its fucking outrageous please fetch my fainting couch and pearls
Tim Russert: oh my
Buchanan: this is the beginning of a massive invasion they’re like locusts or African bees but much scarier and they wash dishes
Russert: wow yikes
Buchanan: they’re all brown and it’s like adding a new Mexico every 18 minutes
Russert: omg!!!!
Buchanan: the whole world is watching its like the 1960s protests but we’re protesting to send a bunch of people *to* the third world
Russert: wow i’m petrified!
Buchanan: it’s the beginning of the end of the USA!!!!
President George W. Bush [on tape]: it’s not amnesty and if you say it yur scaring people
Buchanan: no I’m not trying to scare people but it is amnesty and bush is a moron who won’t build a massive electronic fence to keep out the Brown Horde!!!!
Russert: so then president bush is full of shit
Buchanan: 500,000 criminals tried to break into my precious white country that’s as many as in the entire US Army we can’t fight them all omg!!!!!
Congressman Luis Gutierrez: its’ not amnesty its a pathway to legalization I means there’s a soldier in iraq and his wife is illegal and she’s being deported
Russert: so we pass this bill because of that?
Gutierrez: no but it will take 65 years to deport all these illegal doods and my guess is that in the intervening 65 years a few more illegals would come in to the US
Russert: he makes a good point dood
Gutierrez: the Irish, the Italians, and the Chinese all came here in the same way and if we banned immigrants it would grind the American economy to a halt!!!
Buchanan: no way dood 12 million is the number of whites who came here on the Mayflower and the nina and the santa maria and the pina colada its an illegal invasion!!!!
Russert: wow how do we get rid of them??!!!
Buchanan: just deport the child molesters and drunk drivers and rapists
Russert: what do Americas politicians have to do with this
Buchanan: look we just need to build a big fence hopefully with barbed wire and some electricity - zap!!!
Russert: u would keep dad and the baby but deport little Mommy are u heartless dood
Buchanan: no but look 2/3 of the actors in Los Angeles are anchor babies and we treat them just as if mexican citizens were white citizens or something
Russert: wow what's up with that
Buchanan: anchors only tie u down they should put them to work doing work no decent American would do like a sitcom on the WB
Gutierrez: Buchanan is obsessed with brown people and he’s casting a dark shadow they’re not all drunk drivers or rapists and anyway we need all these illegal workers to support social security for the baby boomers
Russert: Pat dood without illegals we would not have farming, cleaning, and the Tim Russert Compound in Nantucket would be overrun by gophers
Buchanan: bullshit the American blue collar worker is suffering and this won’t help
Gutierrez: hey dood who’s working the pesticide-ridden grape fields? Illegal Mexicans that’s who
Buchanan: I hate grapes so shut up
Gutierrez: I will not shut up
Pat Buchanan: wake up and smell the coffee its better than wine
Gutierrez: speaking of whining - all this talk about illegals on welfare is bullshit
Buchanan: who gives shit illegals get free America high school education
Gutierrez: big fucking deal who wants a US high school education
Buchanan: I wash my own car and mow my own damn lawn
Russert: holy shit my houseboy does all that
Buchanan: my dad used to work construction and it was great and I’m a friend to the African-American working man
Gutierrez: hey the illegals are getting fingerprinted and pay fines that’s a big deal
Buchanan: did u read my crazy diatribe of a book dood????
Gutierrez: it’s unfair to poor illegal immigrants that they have to compete with American workers
Russert: thats interesting logic dood
Buchanan: when Italians who came the losers went home and we got to keep the good ones and none of them were criminals it was great
Russert: ok Hispanics are all democrats does that worry you Pat Buchanan
Buchanan: hey pete wilson’s great political career was made on bashing illegals
Russert: dood pete wilson who??
Pat: ok good point -- but illegals are criminals ergo it should always be illegal
Gutierrez: I want to keep the good ones and fingerprint the bad ones and send them away
Tim: can Republicans win without hispanic vote?
Gutierrez: let me issue a thinly veiled threat approve amnesty if you don’t support illegal immigration you will lose elections - get it dood
Buchanan: what u are saying is a threat
Gutierrez: hey there are Hispanics on the Vietnam wall
Buchanan: we need hispanic voters but we can do without brown voters
Russert: whats the difference?
Buchanan: when u vote Republican you cease to be brown
Gutierrez: i would like to fingerprint the immigrants but look dood they are not hordes to us they sit in pews like normal wingnut people
Buchnan: aaaarrrrhhhhhhhhgggg!!!!!!
Gutierrez: embrace brown people or lose elections that's they way it works
Buchanan: i would rather lose elections that sit back watch a scary brown invasion!!!!!
[ break ]
Russert: Limbaugh is mad is immigration cracking up teh GOP
Harwood: it’s sad when a political party is in trouble the wingnut base has too much influence and bush is right u can't win without hispanic vote
Russert: but pete Wilson dood!!
Harwood: Stillson dood!!
Russert: David Broder we all know u will do anything and tell any number of lies to bash democrats what's up with that
Broder: the democrats need to do the nation's business which means doing whatever George W. Bush wants i speak for the people and they hate bickering
Gwen Ifill: david broder is right all of america's problems are the fault of liberal democrats they're always digging in their heels and standing for something instead of caving into the GOP it's so sad
Russert: it’s horrible
Ifill: look at the debate you just hosted they were fighting instead of getting along like we do in Nantucket it’s so awful
Roger Simon: that is so stupid David Broder is a senile right wing whacko and he is full of shit -- he doesn't know any ordinary Americans and this isn't a crisis it's a fake issue ginned up by Broder and his weirdo friends -- go after employers or don’t bother
Broder: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Russert: Hillary Clinton is "Slick Hillary" because she will not say Right Now who her Secretary of Labor will be!!!!!
Ifill: Tim Russert that's is so stupid nobody gives a shit Bill Clinton won by parsing words moron but only Hillary only get bashed by people like u and Chris Matthews interesting isn’t it??
Broder: i luv Hillary after all she is moving to the right and never answers any questions and she adjusts her message for every audience it’s all very Beltway
Russert: let's look at the Sopranos ad
[shows ad - Clinton “no onion rings??”]
Ifill: ha ha the unwashed masses are gonna feel jerked around from this like david chase did to me
Peggy Noonan [ quote ]: hillary clinton has to prove she's not a grimly combative cold heartless bitch
Harwood: Hillary won't swing for the fences she's more Ty Cobb than a Babe
Simon: Noonan is dead wrong people want competence not “who you want to have a beer with” I mean who gives a shit besides dood people actually like Hillary!!
Harwood: people are skeptical of Obama
Russert: is Barack Obama fucked
Harwood: no way he's exciting and charismatic he just has to stop fucking up
Russert: so it's between them
Harwood: no edwards is leading in iowa dood
Russert: Rudy's iowa state campaign manager is a crack dealer and he blew off America’s national security so he could fulfill his pole-dancing duties at Satin Dolls
Ifill: is it really a good excuse that Rudy told the Iraq Study Group to fuck off so could run for President??
Ifill: the polls don’t mean shit which is good news for Rudy
Broder: i don't know Rudy Giuliani but i hear he's a megalomanical nutjob
Russert: but Rudy on September 11 he was so wonderful!!
Harwood: dood some unannounced actor is beating the little cross-dressing fascist
Simon: Mitt Romney is a heartless flip flopping hypocritical bastard
Russert: Mitt's campaign guy’s are impersonating state troopers that’s pretty weird
Simon: this soldier from Iraq won the Bronze star and wants to be a cop and Romney stopped him so he could win the wingnut vote
Harwood: well that crazy but dood but Romney's real mistake was messing with a Times reporter -- do not fuck with the media!!!!
Russert: Fred Thompson is so cool!!!!!!
Harwood: yeah its weird but don’t count out Mitt Romney
Broder: Fred Thompson is a lazy arrogant fucker
Ifill: McCain is a real American hero because he sticks with idiotic positions
Russert: we should definitely elect someone like that
Ifill: Fred McGruff is spanking him without even trying
Simon: its all about hating on brown people with the GOP
Timmeh: let me serve some more as the Blooomberg campaign spokesman by describing excitedly how he could win and saying he is loved by blacks and whites and all the other miscellaneous ethnicities
Broder: they let me out of the home a few months ago to talk to Bloomie and i was wearing an onion on my belt and the subway costs five bees and-
Tim: ok enough he may spend a billion what's up
Simon: this is totally unrealistic besides asking people constantly to give you money is a great way to build a base of support and Bloomberg doesn't have to do that and it will hurt him
Timmy: dood i never heard that cause it's fucking stupid
Broder: i can't believe i missed Matlock for this show
Russert: he’s worth $8 billion I love it!!!!
Ifill: jeebus fucking christ all that is stoopid his only support is from the media apparently that's all Bloomberg needs
Simon: criminy this is a total fantasy Bloomberg can't win
Harwood: but Hillary is so evil if she runs Satan should run!!!
Ifill: Bloomberg is playing the media like a fiddle like in a contest with the devil in Georgia
Harwood: it’s like Ross Perot in 1992 because we also have a really bad President named George Bush
Simon: i like the way we talk about Bloomberg’s money and no one here knows what his positions are on anything
Broder: yur young whippersnappers are much too dismissive teh Democratic Congress is destroying America!!!!
Simon: dood do u think he could win
Broder: Absolutely!!
Russert: pollz say Democrats are leading for the next Presidential election
Broder: people in this country hate both terrible extreme parties
Ifill: I bow to David Broder and his senile ideas but really fuck off old man
Harwod: Dems should win in 2008 but then again Hillary is hated so who knows
Broder: Matlock's on i'm outta here
The Chris Matthews Show - Sunday, June 24, 2007
**************************************************
The Chris Matthews Show, Sunday, June 24, 2007
**************************************************
Matthews: Sullivan and Hillary were for the Iraq war before they were against it it’s awesome!!
Ignatius: she’s playing a fuzzy woman its brilliant
Matthews: brilliant!
Ignatius: even Democrats think we have to stay in Iraq but just open up shops that sells beads and patchouli
Parker: the lefty bloggers want hillary on her knees
Matthews: hey she's not monica
Bumiller: she’s attacked by the Code Pink ladies but they’re crazy
Matthews: she's shrewd she's using the left make her look tough it’s Sistah Souljah!!
Ignatius: well she's different from all the other candidates because she's actually running for President
Matthews: i luv sex and politics she's reenacting The Last Supper but instead of the special love between John and Jesus its between women that’s scary
Parker: hillary has no blond women supporters that will hurt with the Aryan vote
Matthews: she's has a lot of women supporters woman that will hurt her as Commander in Chief
Ignatius: what r u saying dood
Matthews: women as well as men won’t vote for a Commander who surrounds himself with a lot of women no real commander would do that like FDR or JFK or Eisenhower
Parker: Golda Meir!!
Matthews: John Wayne!! Patton!!
Bumiller: she’s tough and doesn't need the Anti-War Lefty Bloggers
Matthews: has she settled her fish with the Left
Ignatius: dood what the fuck r u talking about
Bumiller: the generals all like Hillary
Matthews: i hear that its so weird I mean how could that be she’s a woman
Mike Bloomberg: i luv me some Red Auerbach
Matthews: its hard to imagine teh NBA without teh blacks and Red Auerbach integrated it
Ignatius: no dood bill russell did and he was teh first black coach and he won too without yur white buddy Red
Matthews: thats true why do i always forget that part
Matthews: i luv Bloomberg he could win!!!
Stengel: Matthews dood yur excited but no one else cares - what does he stand for and how can he win Wisconsin??
Ignatius: he would hurt Dems because he is a liberal and a democrat dood
Matthews: this county is dying for someone in the center not a crazy liberal like Hillary or Obama or Edwards with their crazy popular ideas
Matthews: tell something i don't know!!!
Parker: Rudy's best friend is a crack dealer but the bad news is still to come
Stengel: oh it gets worse the media is finally to ask what the fuck Rudy Giuliani knows about foreign policy besides stationing our aircraft carrier groups on the 10th floor on the World Trade Center
Ignatuius: look for a massive 20,00 word article in the newspaper exposing Cheney as totally secretive evil controlling weirdo
Matthews: he’s like Dr. Strangelove without the charm
The Chris Matthews Show, Sunday, June 24, 2007
**************************************************
Matthews: Sullivan and Hillary were for the Iraq war before they were against it it’s awesome!!
Ignatius: she’s playing a fuzzy woman its brilliant
Matthews: brilliant!
Ignatius: even Democrats think we have to stay in Iraq but just open up shops that sells beads and patchouli
Parker: the lefty bloggers want hillary on her knees
Matthews: hey she's not monica
Bumiller: she’s attacked by the Code Pink ladies but they’re crazy
Matthews: she's shrewd she's using the left make her look tough it’s Sistah Souljah!!
Ignatius: well she's different from all the other candidates because she's actually running for President
Matthews: i luv sex and politics she's reenacting The Last Supper but instead of the special love between John and Jesus its between women that’s scary
Parker: hillary has no blond women supporters that will hurt with the Aryan vote
Matthews: she's has a lot of women supporters woman that will hurt her as Commander in Chief
Ignatius: what r u saying dood
Matthews: women as well as men won’t vote for a Commander who surrounds himself with a lot of women no real commander would do that like FDR or JFK or Eisenhower
Parker: Golda Meir!!
Matthews: John Wayne!! Patton!!
Bumiller: she’s tough and doesn't need the Anti-War Lefty Bloggers
Matthews: has she settled her fish with the Left
Ignatius: dood what the fuck r u talking about
Bumiller: the generals all like Hillary
Matthews: i hear that its so weird I mean how could that be she’s a woman
Mike Bloomberg: i luv me some Red Auerbach
Matthews: its hard to imagine teh NBA without teh blacks and Red Auerbach integrated it
Ignatius: no dood bill russell did and he was teh first black coach and he won too without yur white buddy Red
Matthews: thats true why do i always forget that part
Matthews: i luv Bloomberg he could win!!!
Stengel: Matthews dood yur excited but no one else cares - what does he stand for and how can he win Wisconsin??
Ignatius: he would hurt Dems because he is a liberal and a democrat dood
Matthews: this county is dying for someone in the center not a crazy liberal like Hillary or Obama or Edwards with their crazy popular ideas
Matthews: tell something i don't know!!!
Parker: Rudy's best friend is a crack dealer but the bad news is still to come
Stengel: oh it gets worse the media is finally to ask what the fuck Rudy Giuliani knows about foreign policy besides stationing our aircraft carrier groups on the 10th floor on the World Trade Center
Ignatuius: look for a massive 20,00 word article in the newspaper exposing Cheney as totally secretive evil controlling weirdo
Matthews: he’s like Dr. Strangelove without the charm
The McLaughlin Group - June 24, 2007
**************************************************************
The McLaughlin Group - June 24, 2007
***************************************************************
McLaughlin: Immigration and Iraq are allowing wingnuts to distance themselves from President Stupid
Zuckerman: yeah but the wingnuts still luv the war
McLaughlin: some of the crazies think Iraq is going great
Zucker: well that’s insane of course but they hope Petraeus will come back with a report saying we're winning the war in Eastasia
Clift: the wingnuts will begin to defect from Stupid in the fall
Naftali: don't forget only half of GOP voters like Bush and it's much less with those pesky American people
McLaughlin: McConnell sez September is the deadline
Freeland: the wingnut base still loves the idea of iraq because it involves killing people which they really like but immigration is about compassion and that makes them crazy
McLaughlin: Hamas took over Gaza now its a fascist mini-state
State Dept.: Hamas is a terror group so No Soup For Them!!!!!
Freeland: this is a great development if Hamas shows they can elect a good mayor they can run for President!!!
Clift: Bush's policy is to close his eyes and wish it away and this is a disaster not a good development
Zuckerman: no right of return!!
McLaughlin: ok so what then
Zuckerman: Fatah lost because they drive around in chauffered limousines and big villas so don't give Fatah too much credit
McLaughin: Give Bush a grade on his performance in the middle east
Zuckerman: B
Clift: F
Naftali: i won't answer but bush sux
Freland: C-
McLaughin: C-
McLaughlin: Bloomberg!
Zuckerman: he's a true hero and a bipartisan leader but he won't decide until February of 2008
McLaughin: Fred Thompson isn't even running and he's winning is there no Hollywood star the Republicans won't starfuck
Bendavid: he's conservative, consistent, and he's been in a lot of really bad movies
Clift: he's a like a crappy version of Reagan
Zuckerman: he's comfortable in his own skin
Clift: dood he's a fucking actor god u r so easily fooled
McLaughlin: let's look at the Clinton Sopranos Ad AGAIN!!!
[ Journey plays, Johnny Sack glares ]
McLaughlin: now give it a grade!!!
Zuckerman: A-
Clift: A+
Naftali: Boffo!
Freeland: A+
McLaughlin: yur all wrong it's an A plus plus !!!!
McLaughlin: predictions!!
Zuckerman: Lebanon will explode this fall
Clift: more generals will come out against the war
Naftali: some presidential candidates will drop out next week
Freeland: Bloomberg will run!!!
McL: no more money for Iraq!!!
The McLaughlin Group - June 24, 2007
***************************************************************
McLaughlin: Immigration and Iraq are allowing wingnuts to distance themselves from President Stupid
Zuckerman: yeah but the wingnuts still luv the war
McLaughlin: some of the crazies think Iraq is going great
Zucker: well that’s insane of course but they hope Petraeus will come back with a report saying we're winning the war in Eastasia
Clift: the wingnuts will begin to defect from Stupid in the fall
Naftali: don't forget only half of GOP voters like Bush and it's much less with those pesky American people
McLaughlin: McConnell sez September is the deadline
Freeland: the wingnut base still loves the idea of iraq because it involves killing people which they really like but immigration is about compassion and that makes them crazy
McLaughlin: Hamas took over Gaza now its a fascist mini-state
State Dept.: Hamas is a terror group so No Soup For Them!!!!!
Freeland: this is a great development if Hamas shows they can elect a good mayor they can run for President!!!
Clift: Bush's policy is to close his eyes and wish it away and this is a disaster not a good development
Zuckerman: no right of return!!
McLaughlin: ok so what then
Zuckerman: Fatah lost because they drive around in chauffered limousines and big villas so don't give Fatah too much credit
McLaughin: Give Bush a grade on his performance in the middle east
Zuckerman: B
Clift: F
Naftali: i won't answer but bush sux
Freland: C-
McLaughin: C-
McLaughlin: Bloomberg!
Zuckerman: he's a true hero and a bipartisan leader but he won't decide until February of 2008
McLaughin: Fred Thompson isn't even running and he's winning is there no Hollywood star the Republicans won't starfuck
Bendavid: he's conservative, consistent, and he's been in a lot of really bad movies
Clift: he's a like a crappy version of Reagan
Zuckerman: he's comfortable in his own skin
Clift: dood he's a fucking actor god u r so easily fooled
McLaughlin: let's look at the Clinton Sopranos Ad AGAIN!!!
[ Journey plays, Johnny Sack glares ]
McLaughlin: now give it a grade!!!
Zuckerman: A-
Clift: A+
Naftali: Boffo!
Freeland: A+
McLaughlin: yur all wrong it's an A plus plus !!!!
McLaughlin: predictions!!
Zuckerman: Lebanon will explode this fall
Clift: more generals will come out against the war
Naftali: some presidential candidates will drop out next week
Freeland: Bloomberg will run!!!
McL: no more money for Iraq!!!
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - June 24, 2007
*****************************************************
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - June 24, 2007
*****************************************************
George Will: the party process is too powerful to elect a third party guy like Bloomberg
Tapper: people say they want to get beyond the bickering but Bloomberg is a fucking LIBERAL DEMOCRAT!!!
Zakaria: people hate the influence of interest groups and Bloomberg is the most competent elected official in America right now
Steph: wow that's high praise
Zakaria: yes but what does Mr. Charisma stand for
Torie Clark: i would love it if he ran two liberals against one - awesome!
Will: money is not that important
Zakaria: he’s the best Mayor in history!!
Tapper: dood he's a liberal
Zakaria: yeah but we know he’s a fiscal conservative because he ran as a Republican
Steph: Rudy's guy was arrested for dealing crack
Torie: oh c’mon this happens all the time in the 21st century everyone has an employee who is dealing cocaine
Zakaria: Rudy’s a one-note campaign basically it’s "yur all gonna die unless you let me crack some brown skullz!!!"
Will: he's a liberal but that will help if he gets the nomination
Tapper: its not bigotry if you ask a man who brags about his faith is he really believes that the Messiah will rule for 1,000 years in Jackson, Missippi
Steph: dood was Elvis teh messiah oh wow!!!
Will: evangelicals think it’s a cult like scientology or Bobblspeak Tranlsations
Steph: Let’s look at the Sopranos spoof by teh Clintons
Tapper: Hillary is playing Tony Soprano so this means she's gonna get whacked
Steph: no he doesn't get whacked dood i asked david chase!!!
Tapper: well i get it it’s just a joke political ad but the unwashed stupid americans are not as sophisticated as us beltway pundits
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - June 24, 2007
*****************************************************
George Will: the party process is too powerful to elect a third party guy like Bloomberg
Tapper: people say they want to get beyond the bickering but Bloomberg is a fucking LIBERAL DEMOCRAT!!!
Zakaria: people hate the influence of interest groups and Bloomberg is the most competent elected official in America right now
Steph: wow that's high praise
Zakaria: yes but what does Mr. Charisma stand for
Torie Clark: i would love it if he ran two liberals against one - awesome!
Will: money is not that important
Zakaria: he’s the best Mayor in history!!
Tapper: dood he's a liberal
Zakaria: yeah but we know he’s a fiscal conservative because he ran as a Republican
Steph: Rudy's guy was arrested for dealing crack
Torie: oh c’mon this happens all the time in the 21st century everyone has an employee who is dealing cocaine
Zakaria: Rudy’s a one-note campaign basically it’s "yur all gonna die unless you let me crack some brown skullz!!!"
Will: he's a liberal but that will help if he gets the nomination
Tapper: its not bigotry if you ask a man who brags about his faith is he really believes that the Messiah will rule for 1,000 years in Jackson, Missippi
Steph: dood was Elvis teh messiah oh wow!!!
Will: evangelicals think it’s a cult like scientology or Bobblspeak Tranlsations
Steph: Let’s look at the Sopranos spoof by teh Clintons
Tapper: Hillary is playing Tony Soprano so this means she's gonna get whacked
Steph: no he doesn't get whacked dood i asked david chase!!!
Tapper: well i get it it’s just a joke political ad but the unwashed stupid americans are not as sophisticated as us beltway pundits
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Meet The Press - June 17, 2007
**********************************************
Meet The Press - June 17, 2007
**********************************************
Ambassador
Ryan Crocker
Tim Russert: Ok Crocker the surge appears to be a total disaster of course that's just the Pentagon talking -- but it looks like these guys just can't get along
Ambassador Ryan Crocker: the Surge is going like gangbusters the surge is surging in Al Anbar and Baghdad!!!
Timmeh: dood is this a hostage video??
Crocker: true the violence has moved out of Baghdad but that's good news we opened up a Tastee Freeze downtown
Timmeh: well I admit that sounds tasty
Crocker: we're only at the beginning of the Surge but so far it's going great!!!
Russert: is this just wack-a-mole
CrackerJack: We have to control Baghdad and we're wacking a lot of moles there -- i've played that game and in the end it goes faster and faster its freaking me out!!!
Russert: is General Petraeus out of touch with reality
Cracker Barrel: no this dood wanders around Baghdad and on any given day 30% of Baghdad is not bombed how about that
Timmy: Colin Powell says the Surge is a stupid idea and will fail
Cracker: hey the good news is that while it's true iraqis are being killed they've learned new life skills like torture, dodging incoming bombs and how to treat a shrapnel wound
Timmy: dood were you built in a wingnut laboratory
Crocs: no I escaped from madame tussaud’s
Timmy: are we arming Sunni crazies?
Crocker Jarmon: the enemy of my enemy's enemy is my friend's enemy
Timmy: got it
Crack: the prime minister has formed a Committe to look into the fact that his country is exploding into endless uncontrolled violence
Tim: what a relief
Crock: truly we are on the verge of a Great Victory against Eastasia
Timmy: what happens in September
Ryan's Hope: we will give Congress a Polaroid of Iraq but it can't be developed until later
Timster: so it will be a pack of lies then
Betty Crocker: right - it will be full of warnings like Iran will attack us and al qaeda will take over - stuff like that
Timmeh: whats up with the Iraqi people
Croc Hunter: the Iraqis America put in power all seem really enthused about our invasion but they're on a 1,000 year clock
Timmeh: dood time to replace yur batteries
[ break ]
Eugene Robinson: the White House is really invoking the soft bigotry of low expectations in Iraq which means we are never, ever leaving
Katie O'Beirne: September is now regarded as really important conservatives are turning on this liberal president
Timmeh: Sen. McConnell sez Congress will turn on Bush unless he issues a fake report announcing success in September
Byron York: the White House is panicking people actually expect progress Bush has never faced this in his whole life
Russert: why does Reid hate America
E. J. Dionne: John McCain criticized General McLellan in the Civil War so he can't talk - but Bush will never ever leave Iraq we should talk about that
O'Beirne: Reid is dumb because Petraeus is very honest and the report will be an accurate whitewash
Tim: what happens in September
Lord Byron: i asked my conservative hairdresser and he said continued failure in Iraq is unacceptable and also I may have split ends it's a nightmare
Robinson: lets face it we have a true fuck-up in the White House
York: Conservatives want more killing!
Russert: yet another failure for Bush on immigration this is so sad because Bush knows all about this issue
York: the Republican Party would very successful if it weren't for all the Republicans in it
Russert: good point there should a liberal party with black and hispanic voters that would be interesting
EJ Dionne: wingnuts are finding out that Bush smears everyone who disagrees with him sweet ironic justice
O'Beirne: Bush had to sneak this past the American people and he failed because he choked on a pretzel the night it was supposed to pass
York: the people hate illegal immigrants of course i am a product of the Anglos sneaking into Saxony
Timmeh: will Bush do the right thing and pardon Scooter?
O'Beirne: well Bush is asshole which means he might turn on Scooter or pardon him just to be a dick
Timmeh: helps with the base?
O'Beirne: Bush's relationship with the wingnuts reminds me of all my bad marriages the little things start to irritate you like that constant breathing in and out
Russert: Scooter will get out of jail free card if Bush uses his plenary powers?
O'Beirne: Bush can't pass Go but will collect $200,000
Dionne: bush is in a no-wins situation if he pardon him he supports a crook who ruined the CIA if he doesn't the wingnuts will have a tantrum
Robinson: oh i hope he does the Dems will run with it
Russert: the Dems suck they haven't stopped the war
Dionne: they have to magically get more votes in the Senate or they will catch hell
York: what caused this problem is Reggie Walton is bad man
Russert: not Scooter's crimes interesting
Timmy: Eugene yur black what's up with Obama
Robinson: he's a cool dude
Timmy: Fred beats up John McCain
O'Beirne: i luv Fred Thompson he’s smart, sexy, he’s got charisma -- the real question is how wingnutty is he
York: The crazies don't like their choices they want a real wacko
Dionne: Southern Men luv a Rich Hollywood Actor Lobbyist
Timmeh: Hillary is strong
Dionne: she's got the money and liberal street cred
York: Hillary’s smart and Obama’s inspirational
Robinson: Obama is playing it cool he's like a jazz trumpeter in a club and it's only 9:00 pm dood's got all night
Russert: But the primaries! Six months! I've got my eraserboard ready!
[ break ]
Russert: big nasty fight between McCain and Mitt Romney!!
O'Beirne: McCain is flailing and desperate Mitt stole his baseball glove and all his votes
Tim: so sad
O'Beirne: McCain is with Bush on Iraq and immigration what a fucking genius
York: Romney has great shoulders but he's from Massachusetts that could be a killer with wingnut voters
Russert: happy father’s day to all the crazies out there I luv ya
Meet The Press - June 17, 2007
**********************************************
Ambassador
Ryan Crocker
Tim Russert: Ok Crocker the surge appears to be a total disaster of course that's just the Pentagon talking -- but it looks like these guys just can't get along
Ambassador Ryan Crocker: the Surge is going like gangbusters the surge is surging in Al Anbar and Baghdad!!!
Timmeh: dood is this a hostage video??
Crocker: true the violence has moved out of Baghdad but that's good news we opened up a Tastee Freeze downtown
Timmeh: well I admit that sounds tasty
Crocker: we're only at the beginning of the Surge but so far it's going great!!!
Russert: is this just wack-a-mole
CrackerJack: We have to control Baghdad and we're wacking a lot of moles there -- i've played that game and in the end it goes faster and faster its freaking me out!!!
Russert: is General Petraeus out of touch with reality
Cracker Barrel: no this dood wanders around Baghdad and on any given day 30% of Baghdad is not bombed how about that
Timmy: Colin Powell says the Surge is a stupid idea and will fail
Cracker: hey the good news is that while it's true iraqis are being killed they've learned new life skills like torture, dodging incoming bombs and how to treat a shrapnel wound
Timmy: dood were you built in a wingnut laboratory
Crocs: no I escaped from madame tussaud’s
Timmy: are we arming Sunni crazies?
Crocker Jarmon: the enemy of my enemy's enemy is my friend's enemy
Timmy: got it
Crack: the prime minister has formed a Committe to look into the fact that his country is exploding into endless uncontrolled violence
Tim: what a relief
Crock: truly we are on the verge of a Great Victory against Eastasia
Timmy: what happens in September
Ryan's Hope: we will give Congress a Polaroid of Iraq but it can't be developed until later
Timster: so it will be a pack of lies then
Betty Crocker: right - it will be full of warnings like Iran will attack us and al qaeda will take over - stuff like that
Timmeh: whats up with the Iraqi people
Croc Hunter: the Iraqis America put in power all seem really enthused about our invasion but they're on a 1,000 year clock
Timmeh: dood time to replace yur batteries
[ break ]
Eugene Robinson: the White House is really invoking the soft bigotry of low expectations in Iraq which means we are never, ever leaving
Katie O'Beirne: September is now regarded as really important conservatives are turning on this liberal president
Timmeh: Sen. McConnell sez Congress will turn on Bush unless he issues a fake report announcing success in September
Byron York: the White House is panicking people actually expect progress Bush has never faced this in his whole life
Russert: why does Reid hate America
E. J. Dionne: John McCain criticized General McLellan in the Civil War so he can't talk - but Bush will never ever leave Iraq we should talk about that
O'Beirne: Reid is dumb because Petraeus is very honest and the report will be an accurate whitewash
Tim: what happens in September
Lord Byron: i asked my conservative hairdresser and he said continued failure in Iraq is unacceptable and also I may have split ends it's a nightmare
Robinson: lets face it we have a true fuck-up in the White House
York: Conservatives want more killing!
Russert: yet another failure for Bush on immigration this is so sad because Bush knows all about this issue
York: the Republican Party would very successful if it weren't for all the Republicans in it
Russert: good point there should a liberal party with black and hispanic voters that would be interesting
EJ Dionne: wingnuts are finding out that Bush smears everyone who disagrees with him sweet ironic justice
O'Beirne: Bush had to sneak this past the American people and he failed because he choked on a pretzel the night it was supposed to pass
York: the people hate illegal immigrants of course i am a product of the Anglos sneaking into Saxony
Timmeh: will Bush do the right thing and pardon Scooter?
O'Beirne: well Bush is asshole which means he might turn on Scooter or pardon him just to be a dick
Timmeh: helps with the base?
O'Beirne: Bush's relationship with the wingnuts reminds me of all my bad marriages the little things start to irritate you like that constant breathing in and out
Russert: Scooter will get out of jail free card if Bush uses his plenary powers?
O'Beirne: Bush can't pass Go but will collect $200,000
Dionne: bush is in a no-wins situation if he pardon him he supports a crook who ruined the CIA if he doesn't the wingnuts will have a tantrum
Robinson: oh i hope he does the Dems will run with it
Russert: the Dems suck they haven't stopped the war
Dionne: they have to magically get more votes in the Senate or they will catch hell
York: what caused this problem is Reggie Walton is bad man
Russert: not Scooter's crimes interesting
Timmy: Eugene yur black what's up with Obama
Robinson: he's a cool dude
Timmy: Fred beats up John McCain
O'Beirne: i luv Fred Thompson he’s smart, sexy, he’s got charisma -- the real question is how wingnutty is he
York: The crazies don't like their choices they want a real wacko
Dionne: Southern Men luv a Rich Hollywood Actor Lobbyist
Timmeh: Hillary is strong
Dionne: she's got the money and liberal street cred
York: Hillary’s smart and Obama’s inspirational
Robinson: Obama is playing it cool he's like a jazz trumpeter in a club and it's only 9:00 pm dood's got all night
Russert: But the primaries! Six months! I've got my eraserboard ready!
[ break ]
Russert: big nasty fight between McCain and Mitt Romney!!
O'Beirne: McCain is flailing and desperate Mitt stole his baseball glove and all his votes
Tim: so sad
O'Beirne: McCain is with Bush on Iraq and immigration what a fucking genius
York: Romney has great shoulders but he's from Massachusetts that could be a killer with wingnut voters
Russert: happy father’s day to all the crazies out there I luv ya
The Chris Matthews Show - June 17, 2007
********************************************
The Chris Matthews Show - June 17, 2007
********************************************
Chris Matthews: Bush is a total failure in iraq what’s up with that
Howard Fineman: he blew his life savings in a gamble in Mesopotamia and he thinks he’s a success cause he hasn't killed anyone personally
Tucker Carlson: Bush does believe in democracy but he’s too stupid to realize that will only elect terrorists
Katty Kay: iraq is now the single greatest recruiter for terrorists way to go Stupid
Matthews: wow why doesn't someone stop the crazy man
Norris: yes he’s delusional but he really thinks he is a success because the twin towers haven't been knocked down again
Matthews: has ignoring Israel & Palestine been smart?
Fineman: in this one case bush made a mistake - shocking i know
Matthews: in this one instance
Fineman: with Bush as their friend Israel doesn't need enemies
Kay: America's reputation in the middle east is so bad now if we tried to help it would explode in our face
Matthews: bush may not invade iran after all i wonder why not it sounds like so much fun
Tucker: in bush's defense he did meddle in Palestine he made it worse
Matthews: bush put a Geico caveman on the court how come liberals don't love that!!??
Norris: we'll see if the Court bans women from getting access to fire and makes them become gatherers
Matthews: Democrats beat up Abu Gonzalez and gave him a black eye but to be fair he is an enemy combatant to the U.S. Constitution
Tucker: in ten years Justice Roberts will change his name Tony Soprano
Matthews: bush attacked conservatives - good idea?
Tucker: dumbest idea ever
Kay: bush will always be a failure as long as we're in iraq
Norris: he's totally screwed
Tucker: bush will be a only become a great president if thousands of Americans are killed again
Matthews: wow look at the uppity women and some of them are black this is crazy!!!!!
Kay: people luv Laura Bush she was not ambitious and she’s an excellent driver
Matthews: michelle obama went to yale or harvard or something but she's a scary black woman who will ignore her children its so sad!!!
Kay: no she quit her job she's playing a role from Leave it Beaver now
Tucker: no she’s re-enacting the sitcom cliché My Dumbass Slob Husband and it’s emasculating
Matthews: and who know more about what is masculine than you
Fineman: Michelle Obama can combine hillary's smarts with Laura's domestic bliss without the shifty behavior or vapid expression
Norris: she's sassy!
Matthews: i luv it!
Kay: bush is going to reignite a Cold War the Russians are mad!!!
Matthews: boy Bush is batting 1,000 isn’t he
Fineman: Mitt Romney just purchased the state of iowa
Matthews: what about my man-crush Fred Thompson and his toy red truck!?
Norris: Candidates will travel with their children except for Rudy who will have some from Rent-a-Kid
Matthews: will my new man-lover Fred Thompson get some head - i mean pull ahead - of john McCain??
Norris: yes
Tucker: absolutely
Kay: probably
Fineman: seriously dood get some therapy
Matthews Yes!!!
The Chris Matthews Show - June 17, 2007
********************************************
Chris Matthews: Bush is a total failure in iraq what’s up with that
Howard Fineman: he blew his life savings in a gamble in Mesopotamia and he thinks he’s a success cause he hasn't killed anyone personally
Tucker Carlson: Bush does believe in democracy but he’s too stupid to realize that will only elect terrorists
Katty Kay: iraq is now the single greatest recruiter for terrorists way to go Stupid
Matthews: wow why doesn't someone stop the crazy man
Norris: yes he’s delusional but he really thinks he is a success because the twin towers haven't been knocked down again
Matthews: has ignoring Israel & Palestine been smart?
Fineman: in this one case bush made a mistake - shocking i know
Matthews: in this one instance
Fineman: with Bush as their friend Israel doesn't need enemies
Kay: America's reputation in the middle east is so bad now if we tried to help it would explode in our face
Matthews: bush may not invade iran after all i wonder why not it sounds like so much fun
Tucker: in bush's defense he did meddle in Palestine he made it worse
Matthews: bush put a Geico caveman on the court how come liberals don't love that!!??
Norris: we'll see if the Court bans women from getting access to fire and makes them become gatherers
Matthews: Democrats beat up Abu Gonzalez and gave him a black eye but to be fair he is an enemy combatant to the U.S. Constitution
Tucker: in ten years Justice Roberts will change his name Tony Soprano
Matthews: bush attacked conservatives - good idea?
Tucker: dumbest idea ever
Kay: bush will always be a failure as long as we're in iraq
Norris: he's totally screwed
Tucker: bush will be a only become a great president if thousands of Americans are killed again
Matthews: wow look at the uppity women and some of them are black this is crazy!!!!!
Kay: people luv Laura Bush she was not ambitious and she’s an excellent driver
Matthews: michelle obama went to yale or harvard or something but she's a scary black woman who will ignore her children its so sad!!!
Kay: no she quit her job she's playing a role from Leave it Beaver now
Tucker: no she’s re-enacting the sitcom cliché My Dumbass Slob Husband and it’s emasculating
Matthews: and who know more about what is masculine than you
Fineman: Michelle Obama can combine hillary's smarts with Laura's domestic bliss without the shifty behavior or vapid expression
Norris: she's sassy!
Matthews: i luv it!
Kay: bush is going to reignite a Cold War the Russians are mad!!!
Matthews: boy Bush is batting 1,000 isn’t he
Fineman: Mitt Romney just purchased the state of iowa
Matthews: what about my man-crush Fred Thompson and his toy red truck!?
Norris: Candidates will travel with their children except for Rudy who will have some from Rent-a-Kid
Matthews: will my new man-lover Fred Thompson get some head - i mean pull ahead - of john McCain??
Norris: yes
Tucker: absolutely
Kay: probably
Fineman: seriously dood get some therapy
Matthews Yes!!!
The McLaughlin Group - June 17, 2007
************************************************
The McLaughlin Group - June 17, 2007
*************************************************
John McLaughlin: Iraq is in total chaos and even Gen. Petraeus is worried about the increase in violence
Pat Buchanan: Bush is crazy - but the big news is that Iran is sending weapons into 7 different countries we're going to war!!!
Eleanor Clift: Bush is a moron but the real question is will Congress give the Surge more time after 9/07
McLaughlin: they used to tell everyone September was the key date but that was just to get people to shut up for a while
Podhertz: the Big Surge just started its not fair i hate politics it’s so political
Lawrence O'Donnell: who the fuck needs a Report to know the Surge is a total failure??
Podhertz: The Surge is Winning - in Al Anbar we're kicking ass and taking names that's Rupert Murdoch's line and we're sticking with it
Clift: we arming the Sunnis we can look forward to massive civil war later
Podhertz: that’s good news we invaded Iraq so we could get al qaeda out of Iraq which only went into to Iraq because we invaded
O'Donnell: we will leave maybe in January of '08
McLaughlin: wow
O'Donnell: i mean 3008
Buchanan: kill! kill!
Podhertz: as a human being Bush should Free Scooter - no harm was done the case was a total overreach and Valerie Plame didn't get any torts they got rich and famous from this its faaaaabulous!!!
O'Donnell: they never even presented any kind of defense they always campaigned for a pardon -- and dood a Republican judge said he was overwhelmingly guilty
Buchanan: Cheney will threaten to shoot Bush unless he pardons Scooter
Podhertz: Scooter is innocent and he was found innocent a court of law i can't believe this the Plames are living the life fantaaaaaaastic!!!
Clift: he was found guilty u idiot
Buchanan: god fucking dammit if the Watergate guys didn't get pardons i don't want Scooter to get one
McLaughlin: what about loyalty dood
Buchanan: Libby has to be loyal to Bush and go to prison like Liddy
Podhertz: let Bush pardon him everyone hates him anyway
McLaughlin: 4th Circuit upholds habeus corpus!
Buchanan: even i agree that the Magna Carta wasn't entirely a bad idea
Podhertz: this is a tough call i mean what should we do with someone we have evidence is a criminal
O'Donnell: gosh i don't know maybe charge them in a court of law
Podhertz: law -- what is law???
John: Predictions!
Pat: we're gonna bomb Iran in the fall
Clift: Congress will repeal the tax loophole on SUVs
Podhertz: Congress will repeal loophole on guys making $200 million per year its so sad
O'Donnell: Who ever the nominee is they will choose Wesley Clark as their VP
The McLaughlin Group - June 17, 2007
*************************************************
John McLaughlin: Iraq is in total chaos and even Gen. Petraeus is worried about the increase in violence
Pat Buchanan: Bush is crazy - but the big news is that Iran is sending weapons into 7 different countries we're going to war!!!
Eleanor Clift: Bush is a moron but the real question is will Congress give the Surge more time after 9/07
McLaughlin: they used to tell everyone September was the key date but that was just to get people to shut up for a while
Podhertz: the Big Surge just started its not fair i hate politics it’s so political
Lawrence O'Donnell: who the fuck needs a Report to know the Surge is a total failure??
Podhertz: The Surge is Winning - in Al Anbar we're kicking ass and taking names that's Rupert Murdoch's line and we're sticking with it
Clift: we arming the Sunnis we can look forward to massive civil war later
Podhertz: that’s good news we invaded Iraq so we could get al qaeda out of Iraq which only went into to Iraq because we invaded
O'Donnell: we will leave maybe in January of '08
McLaughlin: wow
O'Donnell: i mean 3008
Buchanan: kill! kill!
Podhertz: as a human being Bush should Free Scooter - no harm was done the case was a total overreach and Valerie Plame didn't get any torts they got rich and famous from this its faaaaabulous!!!
O'Donnell: they never even presented any kind of defense they always campaigned for a pardon -- and dood a Republican judge said he was overwhelmingly guilty
Buchanan: Cheney will threaten to shoot Bush unless he pardons Scooter
Podhertz: Scooter is innocent and he was found innocent a court of law i can't believe this the Plames are living the life fantaaaaaaastic!!!
Clift: he was found guilty u idiot
Buchanan: god fucking dammit if the Watergate guys didn't get pardons i don't want Scooter to get one
McLaughlin: what about loyalty dood
Buchanan: Libby has to be loyal to Bush and go to prison like Liddy
Podhertz: let Bush pardon him everyone hates him anyway
McLaughlin: 4th Circuit upholds habeus corpus!
Buchanan: even i agree that the Magna Carta wasn't entirely a bad idea
Podhertz: this is a tough call i mean what should we do with someone we have evidence is a criminal
O'Donnell: gosh i don't know maybe charge them in a court of law
Podhertz: law -- what is law???
John: Predictions!
Pat: we're gonna bomb Iran in the fall
Clift: Congress will repeal the tax loophole on SUVs
Podhertz: Congress will repeal loophole on guys making $200 million per year its so sad
O'Donnell: Who ever the nominee is they will choose Wesley Clark as their VP
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Hardball - June 15, 2007
****************************************************
Hardball - June 15, 2007
****************************************************
David Shuster: Bush is at 29% but on the up side Scooter is going to prison, Hamas took over Palestine, Russia says we destroyed the space station, the base is mad over immigration and the whole country hates him
Mike Barnicle: dood that’s harsh
Shuster: his only friend is ted kennedy
Barnicle: may I observe that yur both very handsome men
Alex Castellanos: thank u dood but Chris Matthews is on vacation u can cool it
Barnicle: sorry force of habit - bush is in freefall what's up
Castellanos: being President is hard work and I fully concede he is a disaster but look MSNBC is doing well why don't people talk about that??
Bob Shrum: the Republicans are all running away from President Bush like he's toxic
Castellanos: we have the courage to pretend he-who-must-not-be-named doesn’t exist
Shrum: say it, b-u-s-h say it say it
Castellanos: no and u can’t make me!!
Barnicle: when Stupid talks about illegal immigrants he actually sounds like he cares
Castellanos: the GOP has always been the party of downtrodden minorities like the irish or mexicans
Barnicle: dood taking their money 100 years after they get here doesn't count
Castellanos: this guy named George Washington promised he would seal the borders i hate take him off the dollar and the quarter and replace him with Reagan and Nixon
Barnicle: not Stupid?
Castellanos: don’t say his name - bad dobby! bad!
Barnicle: so if we take Washington off who do we put on Mt. Rushmore dood
Castellanos: Mitt Romney
Barnicle: you're kidding right
Castellanos: no Mitt's got big shoulders and he luvs immigrants they're faaaaaabulous!!!!!!
Barnicle: Harry Reid hates America he bashed our High Priest Warrior who stands for all the nice boys and girls in Iraq
Castellanos: the precious fighting men and women of america are in harm's way so how dare harry reid try make the war work – we owe it to the children of america who are in danger never to question they way the war is fought
Shrum: dood the war sux
Castellanos: bill clinton destroyed america i don't know if we can ever recover
Barnicle: let me trot out a tired cliche that this is a partisan and divided city and nothing ever gets done and this sooooo terrible
Castellanos: how do u solve partisanship? It's very simple - democrats just have to admit they hate America and support terrorists, communists, alger hiss, eugene v. debs, john brown and that motherfucker thomas paine
Barnicle: dood u forgot martin luther king
Castellanos: no i said commies
Barnicle: the Dems were elected to end the war and won't it's a betrayal of the lefty bloggers!!!!
Joe Trippi: Congress should hit bush with their purse
Barnicle: that’s fringe netroot thinking
Trippi: no that’s mainstream thinking in America - but in their defense Congress only has a one vote majority
Karen Hanretty: the American people hate the war but the people don't know what they want
Barnicle: unpossible!!!
Hanretty: no my logic is impeccable if the people wanted it to end it would happen but the war continues ergo the people must want it
Barnicle: the American people think daily about al-Maliki and think he’s a motherfucker
Hanretty: they're confused for example they know the war sucks but they also fear what will happen if we leave
Trippi: people are angry and fear we’re gonna be stuck there for 50 years
Barnicle: whatever happened to the Democratic Party they won't cut the funding!!!!
Trippi: i like John Edwards he sez just cut off all the money now
Hanretty: call me crazy but if politicians thought ending it was popular and would get them votes they would do it!!!
Trippi: well sometimes you have to go against the people and do what's right
Hanretty: dood u just said it's really popular now you say it isn't which is it?!
Trippi: i dunno just end the war
Harry Reid: [on tape] i told General Pace that he sux
Barnicle: OMG!! he hates America!!!
Hanretty: we're waiting for September in DC Gen. Petraeus is a God-Like figure he's not partisan he can only tell The Truth
Barnicle: so sad kids will die in the meantime why wait until then
Trippi: Edwards had the courage to leave the Senate and talk about this in Iowa - that’s real leadership
Hanretty: i talked about this with the bodybuilding weirdo from The Terminator and he agreed we should stay in Iraq for 10 years
Barnicle: well that makes sense what did Sly Stallone have to say
Hanretty: no candidate is talking about terrorism!!!
Trippi: are you kidding that’s all they ever talk about
Hanretty: Edwards has never ever said terror is bad
Trippi: oh ok you’re just a McCarthyite demagogue
Hangretty: Edwards never said Explode on Impact!!
Trippi: u are a total psycho
Hangetty: a real policy would show the candidate's muscles and our anabolic steroid Might would should elect Conan the Barbarian!!!
Chris Cillizza: only 29 people like Bush and they're all Regents grads
Barnicle: halleluja!
Cillizza: Congress used to be a rubber stamp now they're rubber and he's glue
A.B. Stoddard: Bush actually believes he's having a good week
Barnicle: wow he is one crazy motherfucker
Stoddard: immigration is his Final Frontier he going to go to low polls numbers where no President has gone before
Barnicle: Even Scotty can’t help him now
Cilizza: the worse it is the more Bush acts like he’s out of touch with reality
Barnicle: Bush is like some asshole houseguest who won't fucking leave
[ break ]
Barnicle: women luv Bill Clinton and that helps Hillary
Cillizza: i'm fascinated by overanalyzing the polls but i'm anal that way
Stoddard: Hillary tried to convince people she was actually elected to the Senate in fact she gave the Commissioner of Elections for New York State a blowjob
Barnicle: well then how come Chris Matthews isn't a Senator
Cilizza: i'm stunned by the cliche that since 1879 we've had a Bush or Clinton or Cleveland or Taft on the ballot
Barnicle: whats the deal with black people
Stoddard: my black friends tell me Obama sucks - my pearls and headband speak to my authenticity
Cilizza: i speak for the black voter they still have their doubts about Obama
Jim Webb: i oppose the fact that we never had any kind of strategy in Iraq but i sent my son there cause thats what we Webbs do
Baricle: i'm in awe of people like Jim Webb i have to call my wife for help when there's a spider in bathtub
Cilizza: tell me about it i'm afraid of dust bunnies
Barnicle: yikes
Cillizza: Webb took down Macaca because of his Marine street cred but no one never serves now unlike the really cool WWII Generation
Barnicle: don't get me started on teh Greatest Generation they're the best
Stoddard: McCain has a kid in the war but he never talks about it because the media will do it for him
Barnicle: when i go to the store or get gas i never run into anyone serving in Iraq why is that
Stoddard: maybe because you live in Boston dood
Barnicle: oh right well if i run into an IED i'll let u know -- happy father's day except of course for those kids who's dad was killed in iraq that sucks
Hardball - June 15, 2007
****************************************************
David Shuster: Bush is at 29% but on the up side Scooter is going to prison, Hamas took over Palestine, Russia says we destroyed the space station, the base is mad over immigration and the whole country hates him
Mike Barnicle: dood that’s harsh
Shuster: his only friend is ted kennedy
Barnicle: may I observe that yur both very handsome men
Alex Castellanos: thank u dood but Chris Matthews is on vacation u can cool it
Barnicle: sorry force of habit - bush is in freefall what's up
Castellanos: being President is hard work and I fully concede he is a disaster but look MSNBC is doing well why don't people talk about that??
Bob Shrum: the Republicans are all running away from President Bush like he's toxic
Castellanos: we have the courage to pretend he-who-must-not-be-named doesn’t exist
Shrum: say it, b-u-s-h say it say it
Castellanos: no and u can’t make me!!
Barnicle: when Stupid talks about illegal immigrants he actually sounds like he cares
Castellanos: the GOP has always been the party of downtrodden minorities like the irish or mexicans
Barnicle: dood taking their money 100 years after they get here doesn't count
Castellanos: this guy named George Washington promised he would seal the borders i hate take him off the dollar and the quarter and replace him with Reagan and Nixon
Barnicle: not Stupid?
Castellanos: don’t say his name - bad dobby! bad!
Barnicle: so if we take Washington off who do we put on Mt. Rushmore dood
Castellanos: Mitt Romney
Barnicle: you're kidding right
Castellanos: no Mitt's got big shoulders and he luvs immigrants they're faaaaaabulous!!!!!!
Barnicle: Harry Reid hates America he bashed our High Priest Warrior who stands for all the nice boys and girls in Iraq
Castellanos: the precious fighting men and women of america are in harm's way so how dare harry reid try make the war work – we owe it to the children of america who are in danger never to question they way the war is fought
Shrum: dood the war sux
Castellanos: bill clinton destroyed america i don't know if we can ever recover
Barnicle: let me trot out a tired cliche that this is a partisan and divided city and nothing ever gets done and this sooooo terrible
Castellanos: how do u solve partisanship? It's very simple - democrats just have to admit they hate America and support terrorists, communists, alger hiss, eugene v. debs, john brown and that motherfucker thomas paine
Barnicle: dood u forgot martin luther king
Castellanos: no i said commies
Barnicle: the Dems were elected to end the war and won't it's a betrayal of the lefty bloggers!!!!
Joe Trippi: Congress should hit bush with their purse
Barnicle: that’s fringe netroot thinking
Trippi: no that’s mainstream thinking in America - but in their defense Congress only has a one vote majority
Karen Hanretty: the American people hate the war but the people don't know what they want
Barnicle: unpossible!!!
Hanretty: no my logic is impeccable if the people wanted it to end it would happen but the war continues ergo the people must want it
Barnicle: the American people think daily about al-Maliki and think he’s a motherfucker
Hanretty: they're confused for example they know the war sucks but they also fear what will happen if we leave
Trippi: people are angry and fear we’re gonna be stuck there for 50 years
Barnicle: whatever happened to the Democratic Party they won't cut the funding!!!!
Trippi: i like John Edwards he sez just cut off all the money now
Hanretty: call me crazy but if politicians thought ending it was popular and would get them votes they would do it!!!
Trippi: well sometimes you have to go against the people and do what's right
Hanretty: dood u just said it's really popular now you say it isn't which is it?!
Trippi: i dunno just end the war
Harry Reid: [on tape] i told General Pace that he sux
Barnicle: OMG!! he hates America!!!
Hanretty: we're waiting for September in DC Gen. Petraeus is a God-Like figure he's not partisan he can only tell The Truth
Barnicle: so sad kids will die in the meantime why wait until then
Trippi: Edwards had the courage to leave the Senate and talk about this in Iowa - that’s real leadership
Hanretty: i talked about this with the bodybuilding weirdo from The Terminator and he agreed we should stay in Iraq for 10 years
Barnicle: well that makes sense what did Sly Stallone have to say
Hanretty: no candidate is talking about terrorism!!!
Trippi: are you kidding that’s all they ever talk about
Hanretty: Edwards has never ever said terror is bad
Trippi: oh ok you’re just a McCarthyite demagogue
Hangretty: Edwards never said Explode on Impact!!
Trippi: u are a total psycho
Hangetty: a real policy would show the candidate's muscles and our anabolic steroid Might would should elect Conan the Barbarian!!!
Chris Cillizza: only 29 people like Bush and they're all Regents grads
Barnicle: halleluja!
Cillizza: Congress used to be a rubber stamp now they're rubber and he's glue
A.B. Stoddard: Bush actually believes he's having a good week
Barnicle: wow he is one crazy motherfucker
Stoddard: immigration is his Final Frontier he going to go to low polls numbers where no President has gone before
Barnicle: Even Scotty can’t help him now
Cilizza: the worse it is the more Bush acts like he’s out of touch with reality
Barnicle: Bush is like some asshole houseguest who won't fucking leave
[ break ]
Barnicle: women luv Bill Clinton and that helps Hillary
Cillizza: i'm fascinated by overanalyzing the polls but i'm anal that way
Stoddard: Hillary tried to convince people she was actually elected to the Senate in fact she gave the Commissioner of Elections for New York State a blowjob
Barnicle: well then how come Chris Matthews isn't a Senator
Cilizza: i'm stunned by the cliche that since 1879 we've had a Bush or Clinton or Cleveland or Taft on the ballot
Barnicle: whats the deal with black people
Stoddard: my black friends tell me Obama sucks - my pearls and headband speak to my authenticity
Cilizza: i speak for the black voter they still have their doubts about Obama
Jim Webb: i oppose the fact that we never had any kind of strategy in Iraq but i sent my son there cause thats what we Webbs do
Baricle: i'm in awe of people like Jim Webb i have to call my wife for help when there's a spider in bathtub
Cilizza: tell me about it i'm afraid of dust bunnies
Barnicle: yikes
Cillizza: Webb took down Macaca because of his Marine street cred but no one never serves now unlike the really cool WWII Generation
Barnicle: don't get me started on teh Greatest Generation they're the best
Stoddard: McCain has a kid in the war but he never talks about it because the media will do it for him
Barnicle: when i go to the store or get gas i never run into anyone serving in Iraq why is that
Stoddard: maybe because you live in Boston dood
Barnicle: oh right well if i run into an IED i'll let u know -- happy father's day except of course for those kids who's dad was killed in iraq that sucks
Hardball - June 14, 2007
**********************************************************
Hardball - June 14, 2007
**********************************************************
Mike Barnicle: should Scooter Libby be pardoned?
Ron Christie: Scooter Libby didn't break the law this is all a conspiracy by the CIA – oh sure since 9/11 his mind has never been right but this case is a travesty of two shams of a travesty
Pat Buchanan: are u fucking high? Nixon didn't pardon any of us and i'll be dammned is the Texas Mafia is gonna get off - of course Scooter’s a crook don’t pardon him
Barnicle: well now I’ve heard from both sides - Republicans and Conservatives
Buchanan: he lied under oath he’s gotta to pay a price
Christie: reasonable can disagree – i say he’s innocent, the Jury says he’s not in our crazy topsy-turvy world who’s to say which is right???
Barnicle: that’s a good point
Buchanan: the fucking jury found him guilty stupid
Christie: but the prosecutor cheated by bringing in facts – i'm a lawyer and i know that's not fair
Barnicle: he also obstructed justice
Christie: but he couldn't have committed that crime it's all on Armitage
Buchann: how many times do I have to say it - he was found guilty
Barnicle: hmm…. you both makes sense but what if he only murdered two people I think it’s only illegal in DC if you kill a third
Christie: but but but Fitzgerald heard from Rove and lots of people from the White House therefore Scooter Libby he must be innocent
Buchanan: yur like Republican Talking Point Teddy Ruxpin
Chrisite: Pat Buchanan is saying Scooter is guilty of perjury now where would he get a crazy idea like that???
Buchanan: he was found guilty of perjury you idiot
Christie: no no no Emperor George W. Bush is the Chief of the Executive Branch this was only the plan of partisan democrats!!!!!
Buchanan: Fitzgerald is a Republican crazy-man
Christie: [ flailing wildly ] no no no there are some general flaws in the trial whaaaaaaa!!!!
Buchanan: then he can appeal meanwhile convicted felon Scooter should be in jail like Paris Hilton
Christie: of course not he's not going to flee to Mexico with that guy from Girls Gone Wild
Buchanan: Nixon didn't pardon the Watergate burglars so fuck Scooter
Christie: I Know why the Caged Bear Sings!!!
Barnicle: Bush should pardon someone popular like that guy who spread the Deadly TB
Buchanan: what about the Rule Of Law?
Christie: oh come that's ridiculous the U.S. Constitution requires Bush to pardon all property-holding white men
Buchanan: all you are saying Bush should pardon Scooter just to protect his own people do you think Americans will support that?
Christie: [throws up hands, jumps up, spins around ] unbelievable!!!
Buchanan: apparently being a neoconservative means never being guilty of crimes
Christie: Sandy Berger! Travesty of 2 shams of a travesty of a sham of a travesty!
Barnicle: ok that's enough dood you're now officially every Republican’s New Black Friend but jeebus you're laying it on too thick
[break]
John Harwood: Obama needs help with women voters
Mike Barnicle: but Hillary is a wooden robot how could anyone possibly like her???
Mike Gunwald: Hillary's wife is teh awesome
Jonathan Capeheart: forget Bill people don't vote for spouses although I will say i've got the hots for michelle obama she’s smart and sexy and has a great body...
Harwood: no one knows Obama he’s a mystery
Barnicle: this poll is amazing Hillary is beating Rudy this blows my mind I mean he’s a man and she’s shrill
Grunwald: Rudy is a gay loving pro-abortion cross dresser so has to run a guy will pour 100,000 professional torturers into Iraq
Harwood: Fred Thompson is gonna spank some Rudy ass
Capeheart: Rudy did stop committing crimes while he was Mayor – on the other hand he was real fucking asshole and some people resent that
Barnicle: Fred vs. Rudy oh this is gonna be so exciting!!!
Careheart: Rudy’s strength is national security his weakness are all the babies he’s aborted
Grunwald: Rudy also endorsed Mario Cuomo so its understandable that the primary voters would turn to Hollywood for a genuine fake conservative
Hardball - June 14, 2007
**********************************************************
Mike Barnicle: should Scooter Libby be pardoned?
Ron Christie: Scooter Libby didn't break the law this is all a conspiracy by the CIA – oh sure since 9/11 his mind has never been right but this case is a travesty of two shams of a travesty
Pat Buchanan: are u fucking high? Nixon didn't pardon any of us and i'll be dammned is the Texas Mafia is gonna get off - of course Scooter’s a crook don’t pardon him
Barnicle: well now I’ve heard from both sides - Republicans and Conservatives
Buchanan: he lied under oath he’s gotta to pay a price
Christie: reasonable can disagree – i say he’s innocent, the Jury says he’s not in our crazy topsy-turvy world who’s to say which is right???
Barnicle: that’s a good point
Buchanan: the fucking jury found him guilty stupid
Christie: but the prosecutor cheated by bringing in facts – i'm a lawyer and i know that's not fair
Barnicle: he also obstructed justice
Christie: but he couldn't have committed that crime it's all on Armitage
Buchann: how many times do I have to say it - he was found guilty
Barnicle: hmm…. you both makes sense but what if he only murdered two people I think it’s only illegal in DC if you kill a third
Christie: but but but Fitzgerald heard from Rove and lots of people from the White House therefore Scooter Libby he must be innocent
Buchanan: yur like Republican Talking Point Teddy Ruxpin
Chrisite: Pat Buchanan is saying Scooter is guilty of perjury now where would he get a crazy idea like that???
Buchanan: he was found guilty of perjury you idiot
Christie: no no no Emperor George W. Bush is the Chief of the Executive Branch this was only the plan of partisan democrats!!!!!
Buchanan: Fitzgerald is a Republican crazy-man
Christie: [ flailing wildly ] no no no there are some general flaws in the trial whaaaaaaa!!!!
Buchanan: then he can appeal meanwhile convicted felon Scooter should be in jail like Paris Hilton
Christie: of course not he's not going to flee to Mexico with that guy from Girls Gone Wild
Buchanan: Nixon didn't pardon the Watergate burglars so fuck Scooter
Christie: I Know why the Caged Bear Sings!!!
Barnicle: Bush should pardon someone popular like that guy who spread the Deadly TB
Buchanan: what about the Rule Of Law?
Christie: oh come that's ridiculous the U.S. Constitution requires Bush to pardon all property-holding white men
Buchanan: all you are saying Bush should pardon Scooter just to protect his own people do you think Americans will support that?
Christie: [throws up hands, jumps up, spins around ] unbelievable!!!
Buchanan: apparently being a neoconservative means never being guilty of crimes
Christie: Sandy Berger! Travesty of 2 shams of a travesty of a sham of a travesty!
Barnicle: ok that's enough dood you're now officially every Republican’s New Black Friend but jeebus you're laying it on too thick
[break]
John Harwood: Obama needs help with women voters
Mike Barnicle: but Hillary is a wooden robot how could anyone possibly like her???
Mike Gunwald: Hillary's wife is teh awesome
Jonathan Capeheart: forget Bill people don't vote for spouses although I will say i've got the hots for michelle obama she’s smart and sexy and has a great body...
Harwood: no one knows Obama he’s a mystery
Barnicle: this poll is amazing Hillary is beating Rudy this blows my mind I mean he’s a man and she’s shrill
Grunwald: Rudy is a gay loving pro-abortion cross dresser so has to run a guy will pour 100,000 professional torturers into Iraq
Harwood: Fred Thompson is gonna spank some Rudy ass
Capeheart: Rudy did stop committing crimes while he was Mayor – on the other hand he was real fucking asshole and some people resent that
Barnicle: Fred vs. Rudy oh this is gonna be so exciting!!!
Careheart: Rudy’s strength is national security his weakness are all the babies he’s aborted
Grunwald: Rudy also endorsed Mario Cuomo so its understandable that the primary voters would turn to Hollywood for a genuine fake conservative
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Joe Scarborough on MSNBC in the Morning – June 13, 2007
*********************************************************
Joe Scarborough on MSNBC in the Morning – June 13, 2007
**********************************************************
Joe Klein: the media and liberals don't treat people of faith with respect and by faith i mean hard-core wacko fundies whaaaaaaa!!!!
Scarborough: that is so true the media hates religion especially pro-lifers and scientology and the flying spaghetti monster!!
Klein: yeah its so sad evangelicals and orthodox rabbis are fun
Scarborough: no one in media has a baby fetus on their desk I checked
Klein: yeah but in the media’s defense religion needs to do more cool shit like sell ecstasy in church
Scarborough: that’s a really great idea like they do in black churches
Klein: I luv Huckabee because he does good works and he’s always doing funky shit like playing the bass and rocking with the Rolling Stones and doing LSD is all part of being a cool fun-loving Christian isn't that great!?
Scar: the liberal bloggers viciously attacked you - have you gotten out of the hospital and recovered from yur injuries yet?
Klein: not yet but really i love being attacked by them its fun but Rep. Jane Harmon was intimidated by liberal bloggers into her changing her vote and making me look bad when I lied - its so sad all she's only a little tiny helpless Congresswoman and they're All Powerful Bloggers!!!!
Scarborough: that’s terrible they’re destroying our precious country with their nasty words
Klein: yeah they use vicious rhetoric and they're going to ruin the Democratic party its so sad i weep for the democratic party when they call me on my lies
Scarborough: Saint Rudy had crazy flop-sweat yesterday what’s up with that??
Klein: i didn’t see it I don’t really follow politics but i do know this - Rudy was the best Mayor ever!!!
Scarborough: so true dood -- so why does Barack Obama suck so much??
Klein: Obama is so very young and the election is such a long way away maybe by 2008 he'll be white
Scarborough: joe i beg you to tell us about how cool you are
Klein: in 1970 i was hanging out with my black friend Huey Newton and i was getting bored because he wasn’t bashing whitey like I was hoping and then the Grateful Dead showed up and all the black people left and me and the other white guy there got up on stage with Jerry and got high
Scarborough: wow dood that is so crazy i always wanted to get high with huey lewis cause they made it hip to be square
Klein: I want a new drug dood
Joe Scarborough on MSNBC in the Morning – June 13, 2007
**********************************************************
Joe Klein: the media and liberals don't treat people of faith with respect and by faith i mean hard-core wacko fundies whaaaaaaa!!!!
Scarborough: that is so true the media hates religion especially pro-lifers and scientology and the flying spaghetti monster!!
Klein: yeah its so sad evangelicals and orthodox rabbis are fun
Scarborough: no one in media has a baby fetus on their desk I checked
Klein: yeah but in the media’s defense religion needs to do more cool shit like sell ecstasy in church
Scarborough: that’s a really great idea like they do in black churches
Klein: I luv Huckabee because he does good works and he’s always doing funky shit like playing the bass and rocking with the Rolling Stones and doing LSD is all part of being a cool fun-loving Christian isn't that great!?
Scar: the liberal bloggers viciously attacked you - have you gotten out of the hospital and recovered from yur injuries yet?
Klein: not yet but really i love being attacked by them its fun but Rep. Jane Harmon was intimidated by liberal bloggers into her changing her vote and making me look bad when I lied - its so sad all she's only a little tiny helpless Congresswoman and they're All Powerful Bloggers!!!!
Scarborough: that’s terrible they’re destroying our precious country with their nasty words
Klein: yeah they use vicious rhetoric and they're going to ruin the Democratic party its so sad i weep for the democratic party when they call me on my lies
Scarborough: Saint Rudy had crazy flop-sweat yesterday what’s up with that??
Klein: i didn’t see it I don’t really follow politics but i do know this - Rudy was the best Mayor ever!!!
Scarborough: so true dood -- so why does Barack Obama suck so much??
Klein: Obama is so very young and the election is such a long way away maybe by 2008 he'll be white
Scarborough: joe i beg you to tell us about how cool you are
Klein: in 1970 i was hanging out with my black friend Huey Newton and i was getting bored because he wasn’t bashing whitey like I was hoping and then the Grateful Dead showed up and all the black people left and me and the other white guy there got up on stage with Jerry and got high
Scarborough: wow dood that is so crazy i always wanted to get high with huey lewis cause they made it hip to be square
Klein: I want a new drug dood
Hardball – June 12, 2007
********************************************************
Hardball – June 12, 2007
********************************************************
Van Natta: hillary voted for the authorization to use force to establish security street cred and also because Bill Clinton once bombed saddam hussein because saddam dissed monica on saturday night live
Matthews: but dood bill never invaded iraq
Natta: yeah but as the first woman president she had to give bush a blank check
Schultz: she's hawkish and would kill a terrorist with her bare hands if she got a chance
Matthews: so is she a hawk or dove
Natta: she is so phony she won’t fall into one category!
Matthews: wow she’s evil
Natta: yeah she didn't read the Magic NIE
Schultz: no one else did either jerk
Matthews: wow I don’t know what to think
Natta: we have a triple hearsay source for the 20 years project to take over America and quadruple hearsay for the Taylor Branch quote and this how phony he is he couldn't even remember not saying it!!!!!
Matthews: they’re like william and mary what if they create a college of william & hillary they’ll school generations into plotting and ambition
Schultz: whats wrong with setting goals dood I think its great they planned in 1969 to elect chelsea in 2022
Natta: oh i dont make judgements - but shes a phony because she doesn't admit that she wants to seize ultimate power and make us submit to her scary vagina!!
Matthews: i miss jack kennedy and his manly presidential penis!
[break]
Matthews: why do college gals hate Hillary?? - wow i luv this subject!!!!
Zuckman: well its because -
Matthews: I’ll tell you its cause women with jobs don’t have husbands its so sad they like hillary
Terry: she wants to turn America into an African village but she has to lie about that and educated people see she’s a phony
Matthews: Howard how can she win over poor woman and smart women too that makes no sense
Fineman: college chicks hate hillary because she slept her way to the top
Zuckman: college gals goes for dorks like Dukakis and Bradley
Matthews: people luv my man crush Fred Thompson!!!!!
Zuckman: Fred McGruff is riding high in the polls cause no one knows him
Matthews: will the media give my awesome man-lover a break!!??
Terry: Fred is a big liar he was pro-choice and i hate that - I will accept him but he has to grovel before me
Matthews: so you pro-lifers really don't care do you
Terry: no we just luv to be used and abused
Matthews: that big lumbering lug can abuse me anytime!!!
Matthews: Rudy has 12 Commitments he’s just like Moses but with hairplugs
Fineman: its theatre and Rudy luvs the theater!!!
Matthews: he's pledged to increase the number of abortions
Terry: these are innocent little children!!
Matthews: Terry are u a guy or a woman?
Terry: hey my voice may be high but i'm not high like a liberal
Matthews: no you're wrong blue collar wackos will vote for Rudy because he's a fascist
Matthews: why is teh fascist doing so well in Pennsylvania????
Terry: its an anomaly state its Alabama with the Metropolitan Opera on both sides
Matthews: u keep saying “pro-abortion” yur never going to get me stop having abortions with language like that
Terry: yur scaring me dood
Hardball – June 12, 2007
********************************************************
Van Natta: hillary voted for the authorization to use force to establish security street cred and also because Bill Clinton once bombed saddam hussein because saddam dissed monica on saturday night live
Matthews: but dood bill never invaded iraq
Natta: yeah but as the first woman president she had to give bush a blank check
Schultz: she's hawkish and would kill a terrorist with her bare hands if she got a chance
Matthews: so is she a hawk or dove
Natta: she is so phony she won’t fall into one category!
Matthews: wow she’s evil
Natta: yeah she didn't read the Magic NIE
Schultz: no one else did either jerk
Matthews: wow I don’t know what to think
Natta: we have a triple hearsay source for the 20 years project to take over America and quadruple hearsay for the Taylor Branch quote and this how phony he is he couldn't even remember not saying it!!!!!
Matthews: they’re like william and mary what if they create a college of william & hillary they’ll school generations into plotting and ambition
Schultz: whats wrong with setting goals dood I think its great they planned in 1969 to elect chelsea in 2022
Natta: oh i dont make judgements - but shes a phony because she doesn't admit that she wants to seize ultimate power and make us submit to her scary vagina!!
Matthews: i miss jack kennedy and his manly presidential penis!
[break]
Matthews: why do college gals hate Hillary?? - wow i luv this subject!!!!
Zuckman: well its because -
Matthews: I’ll tell you its cause women with jobs don’t have husbands its so sad they like hillary
Terry: she wants to turn America into an African village but she has to lie about that and educated people see she’s a phony
Matthews: Howard how can she win over poor woman and smart women too that makes no sense
Fineman: college chicks hate hillary because she slept her way to the top
Zuckman: college gals goes for dorks like Dukakis and Bradley
Matthews: people luv my man crush Fred Thompson!!!!!
Zuckman: Fred McGruff is riding high in the polls cause no one knows him
Matthews: will the media give my awesome man-lover a break!!??
Terry: Fred is a big liar he was pro-choice and i hate that - I will accept him but he has to grovel before me
Matthews: so you pro-lifers really don't care do you
Terry: no we just luv to be used and abused
Matthews: that big lumbering lug can abuse me anytime!!!
Matthews: Rudy has 12 Commitments he’s just like Moses but with hairplugs
Fineman: its theatre and Rudy luvs the theater!!!
Matthews: he's pledged to increase the number of abortions
Terry: these are innocent little children!!
Matthews: Terry are u a guy or a woman?
Terry: hey my voice may be high but i'm not high like a liberal
Matthews: no you're wrong blue collar wackos will vote for Rudy because he's a fascist
Matthews: why is teh fascist doing so well in Pennsylvania????
Terry: its an anomaly state its Alabama with the Metropolitan Opera on both sides
Matthews: u keep saying “pro-abortion” yur never going to get me stop having abortions with language like that
Terry: yur scaring me dood
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Meet The Press - June 10, 2007
*****************************************************
Meet The Press - June 10, 2007
Guest: Colin Powell
*****************************************************
Tim Russert: Iraq war - 3,500 dead, 25,000 wounded, 100,000 Iraqis dead - is it the greatest fuck up in history or what
Colin Powell: unlike Stupid I mean President Bush I call it a civil war
Russert: so what does that mean
Powell: Iraq is like a tricycle the first wheel is killing people but the other two wheels are the political stuff and training Iraqis and they are not going well
Russert: so what happens next dood
Powell: When the civil war resolves itself as all civil wars do solve themselves somehow it will be great victory for the U.S. even if the result is an America-hating Islamic dictatorship
Russert: you predicted a drawdown of troops dood you were so wrong
Powell: that’s true
Tim: why did you think that - yur supposed to be the military guy
Powell: None of the generals Bush consulted with wanted to send more troops and Baker-Hamilton said a surge should be only part of a withdrawal if at all -- so of course George W. Stupid did something completely different
Tim: wow he’s a quite a guy our president he sees that this is all about terrorism
Powell: oh please my momma didn’t raise no fool Al Qaeda is a small part of this - they are violent but really Iraq is in a civil war
Russert: does Bush really suck or what
Powell: Bush is just moving the deck chairs around on the Hindenberg
Tim: what happened in 2002
Powell: I supported invading Iraq for no reason
Tim: if you knew then what you know now would you invade
Powell: Iraq was a real threat to us because of their fictional weapons and saddam was cheating on the oil-for-food program and the Italians and Spanish and Aussies were gung-ho to invade hell everyone from Belusconi to Rafael Nadal to The Crocodile Hunter all said we had to go
Tim: so yes or no
Powell: no way I dood I’m a sellout but I’m not an idiot
Tim: why the fuck did you all think invading a Middle Eastern country would go well were you all stupid or what
Powell: no wait a minute that’s not fair dood we *did* know it would be really hard we just didn’t give a shit
Tim: that’s incredibly unbelievable
Powell: I never said “cakewalk”
Tim: jeebus you’re fucking kidding
Powell: remember how cool it was when that statue fell -– we were liberators for a moment
Tim: what the fuck does that mean
Powell: when we got there we were wearing our Liberator Caps then we put on our Occupier Hats then our Helmets of Destruction
Tim: its like the French Revolution without the fun times
Powell: we just didn’t have enough tropes
Tim: here’s your “I’m Not a Crook Moment” dood
[shows video of Powell that United Nations]
Powell: No I said Get Thee Behind Me Tenet he blessed all those lies
Tim: so you just trusted whatever Slam Dunk said
Powell: no no no I threw the shitty evidence by the side of the road it was like a mob hit
Tim: so was it real or was it all pack of lies
Powell: we had really persuasive evidence like cartoons of mobile biological labs
Russert: drawings dood are you fucking kidding me
Powell: Besides if the Oil for Food program collapsed then who among us would not think that Saddam would mobilize his army of sharks with laser beams?
Timmeh: aluminum tubes dood
Powell: there was a real debate over Big Scary Tubes so I said to the U.N. they were for a nuclear bomb so we should invade Iraq but in my defense I attached a Post-It note saying “this could be all be bullshit”
Tim: info on the mobile labs were taken out of on yur speech then it gets put back in whats up dood
Powell: beats the fuck out of me all I know is that it’s all the CIA’s fault
Tim: would you like some cheese with that whine
Powell: look I had no idea what was going on I was only a former general and secretary of state and they said let’s invade so I said ok
Tim: you are boggling my mind with this bullshit
Powell: only after the war it seemed like, hey this is the stupidest fucking idea in the history of the universe
Tim: it turns out the information was wrong and all lies
Powell: dood I am very irate that no one told me the sources were a bunch of liars
Tim: well why not asshole
Powell: I have no idea but I intend to write a very strongly worded letter of protest to the proper authorities at some time in the future after I calm down
Tim: you motherfucker we went to war over this!!!
Powell: Saddam’s Mustache of Destruction was going to kill us all!!!!
Tim: that’s completely crazy
Powell: ok its true and we were all wrong
Tim: are heads going to fucking roll or what
Powell: it’s all Bush’s fault I think the Democratic Congress should keel-haul all these motherfuckers
Tim: my god you’re all the most incredible morons
Powell: well I wish we had put 500,000 troops but bear in mind Bush was always looking and looking for the WMDs
Tim: wingnuts are saying the weapons are real and are hidden
Powell: give it up doods they’re not buried in the ground or in Syria
Tim: so we should never have invaded another country oops your bad
Powell: Saddam had a Get Out of Jail Card all he had to do was present his Massive Weapons of Death
Tim: so it was like Monopoly
Powell: yeah I was the wheelbarrow and Bush was the little hat
Tim: dood your wife sez Bush used and abused you
Powell: hey everywhere I went at cocktail parties neocons would laugh at me and say why didn’t you take Saddam out in 1991 and don’t forget we only had 5 days to make up our minds
Tim: did you want a war or not
Powell: I would prefer not to go to war but I also told Stupid dood as a loyal soldier I’m with you whatever dumb decision you make
Tim: you lied to the world – should you have quit in shame
Powell: no we just didn’t process and manage the lies properly
Tim: are we safer
Powell: not because of Iraq that has made us less safer
Tim: no shit christ this is appalling are you sure
Powell: we are stuck in the middle of a fucking civil war in the middle east surrounded by Iran and Syria does that sound good to you dood
Timster: Gitmo and torture
Powell: I would close Gitmo not tomorrow but this afternoon!
Rusert: but then they would get lawyers like Johnnie Cochran
Powell: so what - this may seem like a quaint notion but “the legal system” and “the rule of law” is not entirely evil
Tim: what an amazing thought
Powell: every tin-pot dictatorship now uses Gitmo to justify their evilness
Tm: should Portugal allow gays to serve
Powell: no we’re at war this is no time to improve troop effectiveness
Tim: do you hate gays
Powell: I sworn in a gay ambassador once and his gay lover was there
Tim: ok so what’s the problem
Powell: the military is different they tell you who to sleep with
Russert: wow I didn’t know that
Powell: yeah its true but what happens in foxholes stays in foxholes
Russert: barack obama is black and so are you
Powell: no really I never noticed
Tim Russert: will support you the Republican nominee in 2008
Powell: you must be fucking kidding
Tim: dood your reputation called it’s too late he’s moved on
----------------------------------------------------------
Guest: Jeff Gerth and Don Van Natta
Russert: You say Bill and Hillary planned in 1959 they would each get 2 terms in the White House and then 3 terms for Chelsea but Taylor Branch is yur source and he sez that's ridiculous
Gerth: we have triple hearsay from a barbecue at a rodeo who said the aspens are turning - it's true that Taylor Branch never confirmed it and his our source but in our defense our source is a big liar
Tim: ok so the clintons are evil
Gerth: sure, when they were dating in their 20s they planned to turn Amerika over to the Communists
Van Natta: i punched Howard Wolfson in the stomach and this is how evil hillary is she didn't cooperate with our hatchet job
Tim: is yur wife a source
Gerth: no the New York Time Magazine supports our book
Tim: hillary admits she never read teh All-Powerful NIE!!!
Van Natta: yeah she should be shot
Tim: is your book fair
Van Natta: im going to shock you but I will say yes our book is fair
Gerth: she accused Bush of misusing his authority its terrible!!!
Van Natta: they only found one actionable lie in one short article from the New York Times
Tim: what's important in your book
Gerth: we discovered something amazing there are in fact 2 Hillarys – one is battle tested and does her homework and then we found she has a twin sister who lives in a shell under the sea - it's like a mix of the Little Mermaid and that tv show with Patty Duke
Van Natta: she is so evil she once misplaced paperwork for fellows working in her Senate Office
Tim Russert: OMG!!!!
Van Natta: She covered up Bill's affairs it's really terrible
Tim: Dallek sez this is a cheap hit piece
Gerth: we're trying to shine a light on hillary's dark corners
Tim: Yikes
Meet The Press - June 10, 2007
Guest: Colin Powell
*****************************************************
Tim Russert: Iraq war - 3,500 dead, 25,000 wounded, 100,000 Iraqis dead - is it the greatest fuck up in history or what
Colin Powell: unlike Stupid I mean President Bush I call it a civil war
Russert: so what does that mean
Powell: Iraq is like a tricycle the first wheel is killing people but the other two wheels are the political stuff and training Iraqis and they are not going well
Russert: so what happens next dood
Powell: When the civil war resolves itself as all civil wars do solve themselves somehow it will be great victory for the U.S. even if the result is an America-hating Islamic dictatorship
Russert: you predicted a drawdown of troops dood you were so wrong
Powell: that’s true
Tim: why did you think that - yur supposed to be the military guy
Powell: None of the generals Bush consulted with wanted to send more troops and Baker-Hamilton said a surge should be only part of a withdrawal if at all -- so of course George W. Stupid did something completely different
Tim: wow he’s a quite a guy our president he sees that this is all about terrorism
Powell: oh please my momma didn’t raise no fool Al Qaeda is a small part of this - they are violent but really Iraq is in a civil war
Russert: does Bush really suck or what
Powell: Bush is just moving the deck chairs around on the Hindenberg
Tim: what happened in 2002
Powell: I supported invading Iraq for no reason
Tim: if you knew then what you know now would you invade
Powell: Iraq was a real threat to us because of their fictional weapons and saddam was cheating on the oil-for-food program and the Italians and Spanish and Aussies were gung-ho to invade hell everyone from Belusconi to Rafael Nadal to The Crocodile Hunter all said we had to go
Tim: so yes or no
Powell: no way I dood I’m a sellout but I’m not an idiot
Tim: why the fuck did you all think invading a Middle Eastern country would go well were you all stupid or what
Powell: no wait a minute that’s not fair dood we *did* know it would be really hard we just didn’t give a shit
Tim: that’s incredibly unbelievable
Powell: I never said “cakewalk”
Tim: jeebus you’re fucking kidding
Powell: remember how cool it was when that statue fell -– we were liberators for a moment
Tim: what the fuck does that mean
Powell: when we got there we were wearing our Liberator Caps then we put on our Occupier Hats then our Helmets of Destruction
Tim: its like the French Revolution without the fun times
Powell: we just didn’t have enough tropes
Tim: here’s your “I’m Not a Crook Moment” dood
[shows video of Powell that United Nations]
Powell: No I said Get Thee Behind Me Tenet he blessed all those lies
Tim: so you just trusted whatever Slam Dunk said
Powell: no no no I threw the shitty evidence by the side of the road it was like a mob hit
Tim: so was it real or was it all pack of lies
Powell: we had really persuasive evidence like cartoons of mobile biological labs
Russert: drawings dood are you fucking kidding me
Powell: Besides if the Oil for Food program collapsed then who among us would not think that Saddam would mobilize his army of sharks with laser beams?
Timmeh: aluminum tubes dood
Powell: there was a real debate over Big Scary Tubes so I said to the U.N. they were for a nuclear bomb so we should invade Iraq but in my defense I attached a Post-It note saying “this could be all be bullshit”
Tim: info on the mobile labs were taken out of on yur speech then it gets put back in whats up dood
Powell: beats the fuck out of me all I know is that it’s all the CIA’s fault
Tim: would you like some cheese with that whine
Powell: look I had no idea what was going on I was only a former general and secretary of state and they said let’s invade so I said ok
Tim: you are boggling my mind with this bullshit
Powell: only after the war it seemed like, hey this is the stupidest fucking idea in the history of the universe
Tim: it turns out the information was wrong and all lies
Powell: dood I am very irate that no one told me the sources were a bunch of liars
Tim: well why not asshole
Powell: I have no idea but I intend to write a very strongly worded letter of protest to the proper authorities at some time in the future after I calm down
Tim: you motherfucker we went to war over this!!!
Powell: Saddam’s Mustache of Destruction was going to kill us all!!!!
Tim: that’s completely crazy
Powell: ok its true and we were all wrong
Tim: are heads going to fucking roll or what
Powell: it’s all Bush’s fault I think the Democratic Congress should keel-haul all these motherfuckers
Tim: my god you’re all the most incredible morons
Powell: well I wish we had put 500,000 troops but bear in mind Bush was always looking and looking for the WMDs
Tim: wingnuts are saying the weapons are real and are hidden
Powell: give it up doods they’re not buried in the ground or in Syria
Tim: so we should never have invaded another country oops your bad
Powell: Saddam had a Get Out of Jail Card all he had to do was present his Massive Weapons of Death
Tim: so it was like Monopoly
Powell: yeah I was the wheelbarrow and Bush was the little hat
Tim: dood your wife sez Bush used and abused you
Powell: hey everywhere I went at cocktail parties neocons would laugh at me and say why didn’t you take Saddam out in 1991 and don’t forget we only had 5 days to make up our minds
Tim: did you want a war or not
Powell: I would prefer not to go to war but I also told Stupid dood as a loyal soldier I’m with you whatever dumb decision you make
Tim: you lied to the world – should you have quit in shame
Powell: no we just didn’t process and manage the lies properly
Tim: are we safer
Powell: not because of Iraq that has made us less safer
Tim: no shit christ this is appalling are you sure
Powell: we are stuck in the middle of a fucking civil war in the middle east surrounded by Iran and Syria does that sound good to you dood
Timster: Gitmo and torture
Powell: I would close Gitmo not tomorrow but this afternoon!
Rusert: but then they would get lawyers like Johnnie Cochran
Powell: so what - this may seem like a quaint notion but “the legal system” and “the rule of law” is not entirely evil
Tim: what an amazing thought
Powell: every tin-pot dictatorship now uses Gitmo to justify their evilness
Tm: should Portugal allow gays to serve
Powell: no we’re at war this is no time to improve troop effectiveness
Tim: do you hate gays
Powell: I sworn in a gay ambassador once and his gay lover was there
Tim: ok so what’s the problem
Powell: the military is different they tell you who to sleep with
Russert: wow I didn’t know that
Powell: yeah its true but what happens in foxholes stays in foxholes
Russert: barack obama is black and so are you
Powell: no really I never noticed
Tim Russert: will support you the Republican nominee in 2008
Powell: you must be fucking kidding
Tim: dood your reputation called it’s too late he’s moved on
----------------------------------------------------------
Guest: Jeff Gerth and Don Van Natta
Russert: You say Bill and Hillary planned in 1959 they would each get 2 terms in the White House and then 3 terms for Chelsea but Taylor Branch is yur source and he sez that's ridiculous
Gerth: we have triple hearsay from a barbecue at a rodeo who said the aspens are turning - it's true that Taylor Branch never confirmed it and his our source but in our defense our source is a big liar
Tim: ok so the clintons are evil
Gerth: sure, when they were dating in their 20s they planned to turn Amerika over to the Communists
Van Natta: i punched Howard Wolfson in the stomach and this is how evil hillary is she didn't cooperate with our hatchet job
Tim: is yur wife a source
Gerth: no the New York Time Magazine supports our book
Tim: hillary admits she never read teh All-Powerful NIE!!!
Van Natta: yeah she should be shot
Tim: is your book fair
Van Natta: im going to shock you but I will say yes our book is fair
Gerth: she accused Bush of misusing his authority its terrible!!!
Van Natta: they only found one actionable lie in one short article from the New York Times
Tim: what's important in your book
Gerth: we discovered something amazing there are in fact 2 Hillarys – one is battle tested and does her homework and then we found she has a twin sister who lives in a shell under the sea - it's like a mix of the Little Mermaid and that tv show with Patty Duke
Van Natta: she is so evil she once misplaced paperwork for fellows working in her Senate Office
Tim Russert: OMG!!!!
Van Natta: She covered up Bill's affairs it's really terrible
Tim: Dallek sez this is a cheap hit piece
Gerth: we're trying to shine a light on hillary's dark corners
Tim: Yikes
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - June 10, 2007
*******************************************************
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - June 10, 2007
*******************************************************
John McCain: rudy is a big mean phony on immigration
Stephanoplous: but you said you didn't like the bill
McCain: well just the beginning, and the middle, and also the end
Stephanoplous: saint rudy says you compromised because you're weak and senile
McCain: this is what the art of legislation is all about
Stephanoplous: but ted kennedy supported it!
McCain: well ted Kennedy also he worked on No Child Left Behind
Steph: that’s supposed to be a good thing?
Steph: Newt sez yur a big liberal
McCain: newt is a motherfucker
Steph: the base hates brown people
McCain: what can i say i luv to be unpopular
Steph: apparently the same deal with Iraq
McCain: we just started this war 90 days ago for gods sake
Steph: what's success in Iraq
McCain: i don't know I guess someday Iraq should have a functioning government
Steph: when?
McCain: never - is never good for you
Steph: you say they will follow us home but aren't they already here
McCain: sure last week they destroyed JFK airport
Steph: are we creating al qaeda recruits in Iraq
McCain: yes - which is why we can't leave
Steph: [sighs] so perpetual war dood
McCain: no the war will just last as long as you and I are alive
Steph: Romney says Korea analogy is stupid
McCain: i don't know what he is talking about
Spteh: what?
McCain: it's an islamic country
Steph: huh?
McCain: we should have non-permanent big bases
Steph: so how long, 50 years
McCain: why announce a 50 year deadline?
McCain: i don't know how September got to be so important i resent it
Steph: what will Petraeus say
McCain: not in my wildest dreams do i expect Petraeus to say things are going well i mean the war just started that's crazy
Steph: Fred McGruff was your guy and he thinks you suck or he wouldn't run for President right
McCain: i didn't know he was working for my campaign
Steph: WaPo sez all your BFFs are all fleeing your campaign like a sinking ship
McCain: i luv and respect all the people who think i'm a loser
Steph: jeebus you sound like such a weenie
McCain: eh whatever I don’t even want the job anymore
Steph: your friends say you’re a dead man walking
McCain: no look at the polls
Steph: polls say yur way behind
McCain: i'm in the top five
Steph: healthcare what's yur solution
McCain: cutting taxes
Steph: Romney mandated insurance good idea?
MCain: no way dood let's have community health care but the real problem is that alot of healthy Americans refuse to buy insurance because they're big assholes
Steph: you said Colin Powell will be remembered by history as the Loser Guy
McCain: he lied to me about the biological weapons it's the shame of the nation!!!
Steph: how will history judge you dood
McCain: as a senile whacko
[ panel discussion ]
Torie Clark: this immigration bill failure shows that Washington can't get anything done and helps the DC outsiders in 2008
Steph: is Torie a big elitist
Shipman: the shameful noisy liberal bloggers and angry wingnuts are out destroy Bush it's an epic tragedy this could have been his Nixon in China moment
Steph: well he could still have a big Nixon moment
Carney: Bush really luvs mexicans and Rove wanted their votes
Will: Democracy its not about counting noses it about counting other body parts too
Steph: so bush is ruined
Will: yes Dems are to blame for not solving Bush's fuckups
Steph: I hear there is a 4 part test for Bloomberg to get into the race -- the last is that 25% of Americans need to luv the crazy jew from NYC
Torie: with a billion dollars you can spend a lot of money
Carney: he can't win
Will: the idea of him winning is ridiculous
Steph: hillary sez bush has made us safer
Shipman: she has to look Presidential in other words conservative
Will: Edwards is unemployed so why is he spending $500 on a pedicure!!!
Carney: he's reaching to the liberals those crazy mad blogging motherfuckers
Torri: it’s either offense or defense!
Steph: its like the Democrats and Republicans live in different gay and non gay counties
Will: America is like European we actually disagree on shit
Steph: but the people hate partisanship
Will: no they don’t they just say they do
Shipman: i'm so distressed by all this fighting its saddens my superior self
Steph: When will have a Gay Prez
Will: i have a daughter with gay friends but i'll be dammed if will let her hang out with any lefties
******************************************************************
Posted by The Author at 8:17 AM
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - June 10, 2007
*******************************************************
John McCain: rudy is a big mean phony on immigration
Stephanoplous: but you said you didn't like the bill
McCain: well just the beginning, and the middle, and also the end
Stephanoplous: saint rudy says you compromised because you're weak and senile
McCain: this is what the art of legislation is all about
Stephanoplous: but ted kennedy supported it!
McCain: well ted Kennedy also he worked on No Child Left Behind
Steph: that’s supposed to be a good thing?
Steph: Newt sez yur a big liberal
McCain: newt is a motherfucker
Steph: the base hates brown people
McCain: what can i say i luv to be unpopular
Steph: apparently the same deal with Iraq
McCain: we just started this war 90 days ago for gods sake
Steph: what's success in Iraq
McCain: i don't know I guess someday Iraq should have a functioning government
Steph: when?
McCain: never - is never good for you
Steph: you say they will follow us home but aren't they already here
McCain: sure last week they destroyed JFK airport
Steph: are we creating al qaeda recruits in Iraq
McCain: yes - which is why we can't leave
Steph: [sighs] so perpetual war dood
McCain: no the war will just last as long as you and I are alive
Steph: Romney says Korea analogy is stupid
McCain: i don't know what he is talking about
Spteh: what?
McCain: it's an islamic country
Steph: huh?
McCain: we should have non-permanent big bases
Steph: so how long, 50 years
McCain: why announce a 50 year deadline?
McCain: i don't know how September got to be so important i resent it
Steph: what will Petraeus say
McCain: not in my wildest dreams do i expect Petraeus to say things are going well i mean the war just started that's crazy
Steph: Fred McGruff was your guy and he thinks you suck or he wouldn't run for President right
McCain: i didn't know he was working for my campaign
Steph: WaPo sez all your BFFs are all fleeing your campaign like a sinking ship
McCain: i luv and respect all the people who think i'm a loser
Steph: jeebus you sound like such a weenie
McCain: eh whatever I don’t even want the job anymore
Steph: your friends say you’re a dead man walking
McCain: no look at the polls
Steph: polls say yur way behind
McCain: i'm in the top five
Steph: healthcare what's yur solution
McCain: cutting taxes
Steph: Romney mandated insurance good idea?
MCain: no way dood let's have community health care but the real problem is that alot of healthy Americans refuse to buy insurance because they're big assholes
Steph: you said Colin Powell will be remembered by history as the Loser Guy
McCain: he lied to me about the biological weapons it's the shame of the nation!!!
Steph: how will history judge you dood
McCain: as a senile whacko
[ panel discussion ]
Torie Clark: this immigration bill failure shows that Washington can't get anything done and helps the DC outsiders in 2008
Steph: is Torie a big elitist
Shipman: the shameful noisy liberal bloggers and angry wingnuts are out destroy Bush it's an epic tragedy this could have been his Nixon in China moment
Steph: well he could still have a big Nixon moment
Carney: Bush really luvs mexicans and Rove wanted their votes
Will: Democracy its not about counting noses it about counting other body parts too
Steph: so bush is ruined
Will: yes Dems are to blame for not solving Bush's fuckups
Steph: I hear there is a 4 part test for Bloomberg to get into the race -- the last is that 25% of Americans need to luv the crazy jew from NYC
Torie: with a billion dollars you can spend a lot of money
Carney: he can't win
Will: the idea of him winning is ridiculous
Steph: hillary sez bush has made us safer
Shipman: she has to look Presidential in other words conservative
Will: Edwards is unemployed so why is he spending $500 on a pedicure!!!
Carney: he's reaching to the liberals those crazy mad blogging motherfuckers
Torri: it’s either offense or defense!
Steph: its like the Democrats and Republicans live in different gay and non gay counties
Will: America is like European we actually disagree on shit
Steph: but the people hate partisanship
Will: no they don’t they just say they do
Shipman: i'm so distressed by all this fighting its saddens my superior self
Steph: When will have a Gay Prez
Will: i have a daughter with gay friends but i'll be dammed if will let her hang out with any lefties
******************************************************************
Posted by The Author at 8:17 AM
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