Monday, September 01, 2008

60 Minutes - with Barack Obama and Joe Biden

60 Minutes
Senator Barack Obama and Senator Joe Biden
August 31, 2008

Kroft: wow more Americans saw the Dems party down than the saw the Olympics

Obama: i rule!

Kroft: did you ever doubt you would be the nominee

Obama: of course i'm a black guy named Obama

Biden: i though i was good - but he's like Zeus he grabbed the lightning

Obama: i always thought i was more like Apollo but okay

Kroft: what do you think of Palin

Obama: she's a fisher of men but she seems like a wingnut

Kroft: she has no experience

Obama: really i hadn't noticed

Kroft: she's a blue collar hunter with a son in Iraq

Obama: dood what about the issues

Kroft: never heard of 'em

Obama: Biden is a blue collar dood as well

Biden: who cares - it only matters what you're going to do as President

Kroft: you drink wine and do elitist shit like basketball

Obama: now hold on i drink a six pack every night

Kroft: but you were reduced to bowling

Obama: wait a minutes I wasn't there to get votes i was there to campaign

Kroft: so why hire Biden?

Obama: because he doesn't bite his tongue - i checked

Kroft: you disagreed on Iraq

Biden: but I was wrong -- i thought Bush meant it when he said he didn't want war and Obama knew better

Kroft: so did my cocker spaniel

Dog: arf arf wmd!!

Kroft: you are a plagiarist

Biden: yeah i failed to footnote a quote in a debate 20 years ago

Kroft: dealbreaker dood

Obama: he's likeable enough

Kroft: what role will Biden play in your government

Biden: I will give him the white male's perspective

Kroft: what will you do in the campaign

Biden: i will help him carry Wilmington

Kroft: ah

Biden: hey boss listen to this

Obama: [ beams ]

Kroft: they say you're soft and weak

Obama: ah yes hmmm so I've heard - one wonders how i ever got to the senate from fucking Chicago and defeated the Clinton machine

Kroft: hey you're black

Obama: yes i know

Kroft: are you going be the black president

Obama: i am going to be a black president not the black president

Kroft: how can you represent white people?

Obama: i will deliver health care and economic growth and equality and that's good for whites and blacks and asians and the other races too

Kroft: why don't you have a 30 point lead?

Obama: dood the last 2 elections were ties stolen the GOP -- we all know the Republicans can't govern but they can scare people we're gonna have to fight but we will win

Kroft: okay then


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