Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Democratic Debate - October 30, 2007

Democratic Debate - October 30, 2007
Drexel University
Philadelphia, PA
Tim Russert
Brian Williams

Williams: obama the first question goes to you – you say Hillary is a republican

Obama: i'm like the italian stallion

Williams: his momma was white

Obama: and he was up against a telegenic heavyweight

Williams: what else

Obama: i'm trying to be honest and she's always triangulating

Hilllary: if i'm so conservative then why are the republicans hating on me?

Russert: Edwards you say Hillary is orwellian

Edwards: who me?

Russert: yeah you

Edwards: heh heh - oh yeah that was me

Timmeh: well?

Edwards: she's a hawk on iran and corruption and in private she's in favor of killing social security

Clinton: shut up for 35 years i've been fighting for invisible people and the evil republicans hate me - and if that's not a reason to vote for me i don't know what is

Timmeh: even Jim Webb said you voted to attack Iran why would you do that crazy lady

Hillary: i'm against a rush to war - I'm in favor of going to war with Iran slowly

Tim: oh ok

Hillary: hey dood they are trying to get nukes let's do what we did in Libya

Tim: let the leader join the Hair Club for Men in exchange for giving up nukes???

Hillary: if that's what it takes pumpkinhead

Dodd: give me a break trusting George Bush with a resolution authorizing force is like trusting FEMA to play Fire Marshall Bill

Tim: interesting

Dodd: we need good judgment and Hillary fucked up

Tim: Biden you have an interest on foreign policy what say you

Biden: I can't gas up my car and why? because Hillary is emboldening our terrorist enemies

Tim: you mean Iran?

Biden: no i mean dick cheney

Hillary: i favor agressive negotiations like Padme did in Star Wars - i mean what if our people are attacked by a bunch of iranian clones

Williams: time and date of your war with Iran pleeze

Hillary: nah gonna answer brian

Edwards: seriously she wants to pressure George Bush by giving the neocons their precious terror resolution? I don't think so

Williams: are you sure that’s right

Edwards: i was burned once before - my mistake in 2002 gives me more credibility

Timmy: Pedro speak

Richardson: we cannot permit Iran to use nuclear weapons

Tim: so he can have them but not use them

Richardson: yes like how NBC has the ability to practice journalism

Williams: hey dood we're keeping our newsy powder dry

Richardson: we should sanction iran and if necessary attack Iran and Europe and Russia

Kucinich: you all are enabling Bush's illegal wars - we're in Philadelphia the birthplace of the 76er's and it's time to follow the example of Dr. J and impeach George Bush!!!!!!!

Tim: will you pledge to launch a war against iran

Hillary: i will try

Tim: will you pledge to pledge to make pledge to pledge

Hillary: i pledge to stop answering your dumb questions

Obama: you are playing the Fear Card Timmy and i don't like it

Biden: Pakistan has hundreds of pounds of spicy uranium and it could hit Israel

Williams: what is the biggest threat to America

Biden: Pakistan

Williams: are you sure

Biden: well it was on teh cover of Newsweek magazine

Dodd: no one else here has a head of distinguished silver hair - looking like a movie president matters!

Williams: he does have nice hair

Dodd: i alone negotiated with taco bell to give every American a free taco!!

Richardson: what is a bigger threat than nuclear weapons is nuclear weapons crossing the border

Williams: ok

Richardson: i told Saddam Hussein release your American prisoners or i will never leave

Williams: you're running for vice president aren't you

Richardson: it will be like having a dood on hand 24 hours a day who likes to go to dangerous places and put his life in danger

Williams: a disposable Veep

Richardson: exactly

Kucinich: Frankly we need to stop Bush from talking at all it's dangerous

Hillary: there are tinderboxes in Iran, Iraq, middle east, Afghanistan, it's scary!!

Obama: i like diplomacy i would convene a meeting of my fellow muslim leaders

Tim: you mean your fellow leaders

Obama: right only i have the credibility to be President because i voted against the AUMF

Edwards: hillary wants to keep troops in iraq and i don't - period

Edwards: she's moving into general election-mode and i'm in honesty-mode

Clinton: whoa dood hold on i want to pull out all troops from Iraq - but we have to remain in Iraq until Al Qaeda is all dead and killed and of course our few remaining troops may want to go to the movies and a use a supermarket from time to time so of course we should have bases there the size of L.A. County

Williams: Rudy America's Mayor sez you've never had to protect people from terrorism

Hillary: well if that was his job in 2001 he sucked at it

Williams: ouch

Hillary: the man is obsessed with me but i'm not his cousin

Williams: so why should you be President

Clinton: rudy has embraced Commander Stupid and his policies - he's crazy and i have an agenda and it ain't his

Tim: my name is tim russert and i am going to ask a really stupid question

Clinton: we all know that

Tim: but the archives!!

Clinton: you think I'm going to release my letters from bill after monica dood you crazy

Obama: aha but bush is secret and so are you and after all this is the experience she has and brags about

Clinton: they want to run against me

Obama: because they can just dust off the old Richard Mellon Scaife tapes

Richardson: can i talk

Williams: you'll get your chance during the VP debates

Edwards: does anyone really think she is going to bring about change? i don't believe in teh Easter bunny or Santa Claus or leprechauns

Kucinich: hey

Edwards: sorry dood

Hillary: no this is all part of my plan to take away money from lobbyists i took $10 billion away from them

Williams: brilliant!!

Obama: i voted against the war

Williams: Vice President Richardson?

Richardson: stop hating on my running mate she's a human being and a damm sexy woman!!

Williams: easy dood

Richardson: i'm a governor and of a swing state i might add

Obama: but i will run for governor of Illinois in four years

Richardson: well good but i'm voting for hillary

Biden: can i talk about my 30 years of experience

Williams: no you're just too weird

Dodd: fuck you Brian Williams and you're buddy Rush Limbaugh - i can work with Republicans - i worked with Dan Coats and if i can work with a loon like that i can defeat kim jong il easily

Edwards: we are none of us perfect but let's face it if you looked up "perfect" in the dictionary i think you would find a picture of my hair

Williams: what about my hair

Edwards: i'm guilty - guilty of being adorable!!

Kucinich: what about HR 676????

Williams: Frankenbiden why the hell are you still running

Biden: i cannot win but will be damned if i will let Guiliani be President that guy is a moron

Williams: zing!!

Biden: hillary hillary

Williams: calm down joe

Biden: Bill i was securing detente when you were still a kid

Russert: hillary once you used a different set of words in answer to a question -- how evil are you??

Clinton: when bill and i were President we fought these GOP fuckers and i will keep doing it

Obama: call me nuts but i think we should be honest so we can get a real mandate after all the facts are on our side

Russert: but you called her a big liar

Obama: we're going to have a big actuarial gap

Hillary: bipartisan commission dood

Biden: can i talk

Williams: no Frankesteeen

Williams: Obama are you worried that the crazees will swift boat you like they did to my BFF John McCain?

Obama: dood i get it I, have a weird name - but i even have white people giving Barack O teh love it's all good because I trust the American people to be open minded and intelligent and fair

Williams: good luck with that dood

Williams: gas prices - GO!!

Dodd: byron dorgan and i on the case

Edwards: i want to be the President who tells people people to sacrifice

Hillary: LIHEAP bitches!

Williams: what else

Hillary: SPR, conservation

Obama: I will go to Detroit and talk tough and if you don't get shot that's a victory

Kucinich: key to oil prices is to follow international law and the constitution and impeach dick cheney!!

Richardson: Apollo Creed won in Philadephia and we need an Apollo program for america -- for instance our appliances could use less foreign oil i mean look at your toaster ask yourself do i really need an english muffin this morning if it means invading iran???

Dodd: corporate carbon tax bastards!! It's the Gold standard and Gore luvs it

Williams: maybe that's why you're at 0%

Dodd: could be

Williams: do you believe America is a bottomless well of welfare

Edwards: seriously you pretentious fop shut the fuck up as if you would leave NBC without being perfectly groomed

Williams: unlimited welfare for brown people???

Edwards: what a snobbish shit you are

Russert: rangel is from harlem which is full of blacks can you support that

Hillary: george bush is an evil poopyhead

Russert: so you are in favor of giving Kansas away to black people

Hillary: no i didn't say that you Irish Village Jester

Russert: ok Obama will you pledge to oppose the Harlem Negro Giveaway Plan

Obama: dood i'm not the one who put 12,000 US corporations in the Cayman islands

Russert: hey i love it there they make a mean pina colada
Tim: hedge funds

Kucinich: frankly even Harry Reid has been captured by wealthy people what about the poor

Tim: solution?

Dennis: impeach Bush and Cheney!

Edwards: let's not waste some more time on this what about Blackwater

Timmeh: you make it sound like wealthy interests have too much influence in government

Edwards: tim cover your little irish ears cause it’s true

Williams: should the school day be longer

Richardson: yes

Williams: your time is up

Dennis: free college!

Obama: school is good and wars are bad

Clinton: i love families and we need to get the kids to focus on an enemy like Sputnik

Edwards: there are 2 schools systems so we need to teach young teachers to use a shiv

Biden: goddamit i proposed this back in 1987 and people ignored me then too

Williams: well yes but neal kinnock said it first

Dodd: i have an idea on all this

Williams: would you like to share it with the rest of the class

Dodd: yes

Williams: sorry you're out of time

Williams: doctors make no money boo hoo

Dodd: that's true-

Williams: time's up

Biden: fuck the insurers - i met the time limit i win!!

Edwards: universal health care and nursing crisis

Clinton: doctors deal with harrassment from insurers and that's bad

Obama: doctors will make more money with fewer banks and middlemen and fat people

Kucinich: Medicare for All! Impeach Bush and Cheney!

Richardson: 1 year of national service for 2 years of tuition - also doctors should visit homes like they used to -- hell two of ‘em showed up in they Brady Bunch i dunno how they pulled that off

Williams: air travel where's mah mint on mah pillah?

Obama: and that luggage carousel i mean what is this the 19th century????

Russert: Spitzer wants to give drivers licenses to illegal immigrants and serial killers!!!??!!?

Clinton: um they drive cars fatty

Dodd: fuck them

Clinton: dood NYC cab service will shut down

Edwards: she's big flip flopper and doubletalker

Obama: what's the Vagina's answer

Russert: you had a close encounter with teh Third Kind dood

Kucinich: yes they took me aboard their ship and told me to impeach Bush!!

Tim: Obama martians yes or no

Obama: i'm worried about human beings

Williams: will you pledge to wipe out cancer

Hillary: god yur stupid

Timmy: marijuana

Edwards: oh noez

Williams: how will u dress for halloween

Obama: i will go as mitt romney i have magic underwear and a sheet with one hole in it

Williams: we will end with that visual thank you and good night -- people this is the greatest democracy in america


Anonymous said... reveals Rangel role in that there mafia fascist casuistry
cabal, Al Smith's subantennae which hijacked recent East Europe policy,
letting them terrorists into our country. Joe Bruno opposed Iraq war since
Saddam right hand was from this cabal. Rangel arose when Tom
Boland prosecuted Adam Clayton Powell because Ike bombed Eternal Rome during
the war and aborted the Universal Concordate. They bring illegals as fifth
column which is why we must diminish their power by sending their jobs to

Anonymous said...

this is incredibly accurate transcription work. brilliant!