Democratic Debate - October 30, 2007

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Democratic Debate - October 30, 2007
Drexel University
Philadelphia, PA
MSNBC
Moderators:
Tim Russert
Brian Williams
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Williams: obama the first question goes to you – you say Hillary is a republican

Obama: i'm like the italian stallion

Williams: his momma was white

Obama: and he was up against a telegenic heavyweight

Williams: what else

Obama: i'm trying to be honest and she's always triangulating

Hilllary: if i'm so conservative then why are the republicans hating on me?

Russert: Edwards you say Hillary is orwellian

Edwards: who me?

Russert: yeah you

Edwards: heh heh - oh yeah that was me

Timmeh: well?

Edwards: she's a hawk on iran and corruption and in private she's in favor of killing social security

Clinton: shut up for 35 years i've been fighting for invisible people and the evil republicans hate me - and if that's not a reason to vote for me i don't know what is

Timmeh: even Jim Webb said you voted to attack Iran why would you do that crazy lady

Hillary: i'm against a rush to war - I'm in favor of going to war with Iran slowly

Tim: oh ok

Hillary: hey dood they are trying to get nukes let's do what we did in Libya

Tim: let the leader join the Hair Club for Men in exchange for giving up nukes???

Hillary: if that's what it takes pumpkinhead

Dodd: give me a break trusting George Bush with a resolution authorizing force is like trusting FEMA to play Fire Marshall Bill

Tim: interesting

Dodd: we need good judgment and Hillary fucked up

Tim: Biden you have an interest on foreign policy what say you

Biden: I can't gas up my car and why? because Hillary is emboldening our terrorist enemies

Tim: you mean Iran?

Biden: no i mean dick cheney

Hillary: i favor agressive negotiations like Padme did in Star Wars - i mean what if our people are attacked by a bunch of iranian clones

Williams: time and date of your war with Iran pleeze

Hillary: nah gonna answer brian

Edwards: seriously she wants to pressure George Bush by giving the neocons their precious terror resolution? I don't think so

Williams: are you sure that’s right

Edwards: i was burned once before - my mistake in 2002 gives me more credibility

Timmy: Pedro speak

Richardson: we cannot permit Iran to use nuclear weapons

Tim: so he can have them but not use them

Richardson: yes like how NBC has the ability to practice journalism

Williams: hey dood we're keeping our newsy powder dry

Richardson: we should sanction iran and if necessary attack Iran and Europe and Russia

Kucinich: you all are enabling Bush's illegal wars - we're in Philadelphia the birthplace of the 76er's and it's time to follow the example of Dr. J and impeach George Bush!!!!!!!

Tim: will you pledge to launch a war against iran

Hillary: i will try

Tim: will you pledge to pledge to make pledge to pledge

Hillary: i pledge to stop answering your dumb questions

Obama: you are playing the Fear Card Timmy and i don't like it

Biden: Pakistan has hundreds of pounds of spicy uranium and it could hit Israel

Williams: what is the biggest threat to America

Biden: Pakistan

Williams: are you sure

Biden: well it was on teh cover of Newsweek magazine

Dodd: no one else here has a head of distinguished silver hair - looking like a movie president matters!

Williams: he does have nice hair

Dodd: i alone negotiated with taco bell to give every American a free taco!!

Richardson: what is a bigger threat than nuclear weapons is nuclear weapons crossing the border

Williams: ok

Richardson: i told Saddam Hussein release your American prisoners or i will never leave

Williams: you're running for vice president aren't you

Richardson: it will be like having a dood on hand 24 hours a day who likes to go to dangerous places and put his life in danger

Williams: a disposable Veep

Richardson: exactly

Kucinich: Frankly we need to stop Bush from talking at all it's dangerous

Hillary: there are tinderboxes in Iran, Iraq, middle east, Afghanistan, it's scary!!

Obama: i like diplomacy i would convene a meeting of my fellow muslim leaders

Tim: you mean your fellow leaders

Obama: right only i have the credibility to be President because i voted against the AUMF

Edwards: hillary wants to keep troops in iraq and i don't - period

Edwards: she's moving into general election-mode and i'm in honesty-mode

Clinton: whoa dood hold on i want to pull out all troops from Iraq - but we have to remain in Iraq until Al Qaeda is all dead and killed and of course our few remaining troops may want to go to the movies and a use a supermarket from time to time so of course we should have bases there the size of L.A. County

Williams: Rudy America's Mayor sez you've never had to protect people from terrorism

Hillary: well if that was his job in 2001 he sucked at it

Williams: ouch

Hillary: the man is obsessed with me but i'm not his cousin

Williams: so why should you be President

Clinton: rudy has embraced Commander Stupid and his policies - he's crazy and i have an agenda and it ain't his

Tim: my name is tim russert and i am going to ask a really stupid question

Clinton: we all know that

Tim: but the archives!!

Clinton: you think I'm going to release my letters from bill after monica dood you crazy

Obama: aha but bush is secret and so are you and after all this is the experience she has and brags about

Clinton: they want to run against me

Obama: because they can just dust off the old Richard Mellon Scaife tapes

Richardson: can i talk

Williams: you'll get your chance during the VP debates

Edwards: does anyone really think she is going to bring about change? i don't believe in teh Easter bunny or Santa Claus or leprechauns

Kucinich: hey

Edwards: sorry dood

Hillary: no this is all part of my plan to take away money from lobbyists i took $10 billion away from them

Williams: brilliant!!

Obama: i voted against the war

Williams: Vice President Richardson?

Richardson: stop hating on my running mate she's a human being and a damm sexy woman!!

Williams: easy dood

Richardson: i'm a governor and of a swing state i might add

Obama: but i will run for governor of Illinois in four years

Richardson: well good but i'm voting for hillary

Biden: can i talk about my 30 years of experience

Williams: no you're just too weird

Dodd: fuck you Brian Williams and you're buddy Rush Limbaugh - i can work with Republicans - i worked with Dan Coats and if i can work with a loon like that i can defeat kim jong il easily

Edwards: we are none of us perfect but let's face it if you looked up "perfect" in the dictionary i think you would find a picture of my hair

Williams: what about my hair

Edwards: i'm guilty - guilty of being adorable!!

Kucinich: what about HR 676????

Williams: Frankenbiden why the hell are you still running

Biden: i cannot win but will be damned if i will let Guiliani be President that guy is a moron

Williams: zing!!

Biden: hillary hillary

Williams: calm down joe

Biden: Bill i was securing detente when you were still a kid

Russert: hillary once you used a different set of words in answer to a question -- how evil are you??

Clinton: when bill and i were President we fought these GOP fuckers and i will keep doing it

Obama: call me nuts but i think we should be honest so we can get a real mandate after all the facts are on our side

Russert: but you called her a big liar

Obama: we're going to have a big actuarial gap

Hillary: bipartisan commission dood

Biden: can i talk

Williams: no Frankesteeen

Williams: Obama are you worried that the crazees will swift boat you like they did to my BFF John McCain?

Obama: dood i get it I, have a weird name - but i even have white people giving Barack O teh love it's all good because I trust the American people to be open minded and intelligent and fair

Williams: good luck with that dood

Williams: gas prices - GO!!

Dodd: byron dorgan and i on the case

Edwards: i want to be the President who tells people people to sacrifice

Hillary: LIHEAP bitches!

Williams: what else

Hillary: SPR, conservation

Obama: I will go to Detroit and talk tough and if you don't get shot that's a victory

Kucinich: key to oil prices is to follow international law and the constitution and impeach dick cheney!!

Richardson: Apollo Creed won in Philadephia and we need an Apollo program for america -- for instance our appliances could use less foreign oil i mean look at your toaster ask yourself do i really need an english muffin this morning if it means invading iran???

Dodd: corporate carbon tax bastards!! It's the Gold standard and Gore luvs it

Williams: maybe that's why you're at 0%

Dodd: could be

Williams: do you believe America is a bottomless well of welfare

Edwards: seriously you pretentious fop shut the fuck up as if you would leave NBC without being perfectly groomed

Williams: unlimited welfare for brown people???

Edwards: what a snobbish shit you are

Russert: rangel is from harlem which is full of blacks can you support that

Hillary: george bush is an evil poopyhead

Russert: so you are in favor of giving Kansas away to black people

Hillary: no i didn't say that you Irish Village Jester

Russert: ok Obama will you pledge to oppose the Harlem Negro Giveaway Plan

Obama: dood i'm not the one who put 12,000 US corporations in the Cayman islands

Russert: hey i love it there they make a mean pina colada
Tim: hedge funds

Kucinich: frankly even Harry Reid has been captured by wealthy people what about the poor

Tim: solution?

Dennis: impeach Bush and Cheney!

Edwards: let's not waste some more time on this what about Blackwater

Timmeh: you make it sound like wealthy interests have too much influence in government

Edwards: tim cover your little irish ears cause it’s true
LIGHTING ROUND!!!

Williams: should the school day be longer

Richardson: yes

Williams: your time is up

Dennis: free college!

Obama: school is good and wars are bad

Clinton: i love families and we need to get the kids to focus on an enemy like Sputnik

Edwards: there are 2 schools systems so we need to teach young teachers to use a shiv

Biden: goddamit i proposed this back in 1987 and people ignored me then too

Williams: well yes but neal kinnock said it first

Dodd: i have an idea on all this

Williams: would you like to share it with the rest of the class

Dodd: yes

Williams: sorry you're out of time

Williams: doctors make no money boo hoo

Dodd: that's true-

Williams: time's up

Biden: fuck the insurers - i met the time limit i win!!

Edwards: universal health care and nursing crisis

Clinton: doctors deal with harrassment from insurers and that's bad

Obama: doctors will make more money with fewer banks and middlemen and fat people

Kucinich: Medicare for All! Impeach Bush and Cheney!

Richardson: 1 year of national service for 2 years of tuition - also doctors should visit homes like they used to -- hell two of ‘em showed up in they Brady Bunch i dunno how they pulled that off

Williams: air travel where's mah mint on mah pillah?

Obama: and that luggage carousel i mean what is this the 19th century????

Russert: Spitzer wants to give drivers licenses to illegal immigrants and serial killers!!!??!!?

Clinton: um they drive cars fatty

Dodd: fuck them

Clinton: dood NYC cab service will shut down

Edwards: she's big flip flopper and doubletalker

Obama: what's the Vagina's answer

Russert: you had a close encounter with teh Third Kind dood

Kucinich: yes they took me aboard their ship and told me to impeach Bush!!

Tim: Obama martians yes or no

Obama: i'm worried about human beings

Williams: will you pledge to wipe out cancer

Hillary: god yur stupid

Timmy: marijuana

Edwards: oh noez

Williams: how will u dress for halloween

Obama: i will go as mitt romney i have magic underwear and a sheet with one hole in it

Williams: we will end with that visual thank you and good night -- people this is the greatest democracy in america