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Republican Debate on Economics
October 9, 2007
Dearborn, Michigan
MSNBC
Moderators: “Crazy” Chris Matthews,
Maria “Hottie” Bartiomo, some other people
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Moderator: Fred tell us about economics
Fred: the economy is rosy - but long term its a different story
Maria: what’s that?
Fred: it's very rosy
Maria: ok
Mitt: oh noes Gov. Granholm will tax our debates!!
Maria: good thing we never hold a real one just these idiotic staged events
Rudy: Presidents must crush jury awards - like giving A-Rod too much money its terrible
Matthews: what about joe torre?
Rudy: hes teh best i luv him
Ron Paul: military industrial complex doods!!!
McCain: dood read Adam Smith he was a good friend of mine my economic plan is that we stop spending too much - oh and by the way i luv the war which is free as you know
Maria: is it fair?
McCain: sure it's fair except for the economy, market, and tax code
Matthews: Huckster a consumer tax will stop me from buying a new yacht!!
Huckabee: no its phenomenal we'll tax shit so much we won't be able to buy anything and our trade deficit will go down
Matthews: oh wow
Hcukabee: its get better -- when pimps start paying taxes we can fund the war just from Congressional Republicans alone!
Matthews: awesome
Hunter: yur all fucking commies I would tax fortune cookies and that will fund the war!!!
[applause!!]
Matthews: Senator Thompson wake up
Fred: what
Matthews: anyone home dood
Fred: fuckin' chinese grrrrrrrr
Maria: Senator Uterus taxes?
Brownback: we're taxed to the max!
Maria: sing it homey
Brownback: why is washington trying to run people's private lives
Maria: terri schiavo dood
Brownback: who
Rudy: George Will luvs me
Mitt: you took away bill clinton's power yur bad
Rudy: idiot i'm in favor the line item veto but it's not fucking legal
[applause]
Fred: i like free marketz
Hunter: damm commmies!
Matthews: i miss the 50s
McCain: i sank an aircraft carrier did u know the pentagon wastes a lot of money
Mod: what about trade
McCain: smoot hawley caused aucshwitz dood
Maria: I can haz dubai buy america?
Mitt: of course lets put down the drawbridge
Fred: we can't protect America!
Hunter: fuckin' a-rabs!
Brownback: the chinese keep stealing our hollywood movies they sell Gigli bootlegs its awful
Fred: we can't leave between our tail between legs damm islamofascists are in for 1,000 years so we have to stay for at least for 500
McCain: we're winning and we have to join the military or Americorps
Paul: criminy we going broke and maintaining a fucking empire that will end someday and then kablooey
Matthews: what do you mean
Paul: read Gibbon shithead
Brownback: Saddam was mixing terror and WMD its like he was a baking a big War Cake
Fred: once upon a time the WMD were there in 1986
Matthews: so Reagan said good job
Fred: the Saudis could get a nuke!!
Matthews: would you need authorization to attack Iran
Mitt: how should I know?
Matthews: no reason
Mitt: Ahmedinijad is outrageous why he's talked about genocide and the U.S. as Ruler of Planet Earth cannot let this man control the button
Paul: holy shit you're all crazee
Huckabee: what if Iran they built the bomb and would give it away to Warren Terra!!!
Matthews: wake up Fred
Fred: huh what
Tancredo: omg california shouldn't be allowed to buy Louisiana oil!!!
McCain: my god that’s stupid - we should drill in the grand canyon
Harwood: should Exxon give back some of their profits
McCain: if they want to
Harwood: that's all?
McCain: venezuala bullys people and use oil as a weapon -- the only legit weapon is one dropped from a B-52
Huckabee: goober and gomer with the bottle rockets!
Fred: democracy is good but stability is better so we shouldzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
McCain: how this for straight talk - fuck you all
Romney: i'm a sunny optimist i luv people
Rudy: hillary wants to give away money
Hunter: the damm chinese are cheating!
Brownback: hey we've got 1/3 of the world's military spending we must be doing something right
Rudy: there are good unions and bad unions
Mod: what's a good union
Rudy: UAW they gave $2 billion to GM
Mod: what's a bad union
Rudy: my second marriage
Brownback: hey my mother was married she was a pistol packing grandma
Mod: did she go postal
Tancredo: fuck your mother she sounds like that lazy family with the kids who got in the car accident
Mod: you forgot to bring up illegal immigration
Tancredo: oh shit!
Maria: detroit sucks
McCain: yes but we should fix health care frist
Maria: how so
McCain: drink a glass of ethanol every morning
Maria: should we stop a massive labor walkout?
Fred: no
Maria: why not
Fred: it's past my bedtime
Matthews: goddam you suck
Lighting Round!
Huckabee: health care - i don't trust anyone but me
Maria: arabs!
Mitt: we should follow shady people into mosques
Maria: weak dollar
Fred: well you know they are soft and flexible i mean we could make them out of something stiffer but then how would we fold it in a wallet
Mod: support the nominee?
Paul: what are you fucking crazee have you seen the lunatics standing next to me
Tancredo: no way none of you hate mexicans
Brownback: i will support the nominee whoever it is
Matthews: even if he's pro-choice
Brownback: well then no
Maria: is london better than new york?
Rudy: jesus are you campaigning for me what a fucking easy question
Maria: i luv you Rudy
Maria: will you please bash Sarbanes Oxley
Rudy: yes i will thank you for that leading question
Romney: oh can i answer that ridiculous question!!!??
Maria: yes but only if you love family values
Romney: this is just like Law & Order there's a lot of crazy white doods and one really hot chick asking questions
Matthews: how do we catch bin Laden?
McCain: i would ask the President of France to get him
Maria: what's greatest threat to the US economy
Mitt: over-optimism its killing us
Brownback: the best place to be is between a man and woman
Maria: Fred did you like the debate
Fred: it reminds of the nursing home i have no idea what's going there most of the time either
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