Sunday, December 30, 2007

Meet The Press - December 29, 2007 - Huckabee and Obama

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Meet The Press
December 29, 2007
Guests:
Gov. Mike Huckabee
Sen. Barack Obama
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Russert: people don’t like you anymore - why?

Huckabee: i have no idea

Russert: maybe they learned what you're all about

Huckabee: there are relentless attacks on me

Russert: has Mitt Romney lied about you?

Huckabee: hundreds of lies - for example i don't love meth users, illegal aliens, increased spending, bad roads or Satan

Russert: the NYT agreed with you

Huck: so did Trucker's Magazine!

Russert: but the CATO institute legitimately criticized you for raising taxes

Huckabee: no that wasn't raising taxes because it helped children

Russert: oh that makes sense

Huckabee: Bill Clinton was evil so i had to raise taxes

Russert: how many interns had sex with you

Huckabee: none!

Russert: wow you are good

Russert: should Pakistan postpone the elections?

Huckabee: how the fuck should i know i'm the governor of arkansas

Russert: will you bomb Pakistan

Huckabee: we don't need to ask Pakistan permission for bomb - you know people are always attacking me for how sophisticated i am

Russert: but you will destabilize Musharraf and al Qaeda will take over their nukes

Huckabee: yeah but not on purpose

Russert: but is worth it to hand nukes to teh Taliban to bomb some dood on dialysis

Huckster: yes because my job is to protect america from skyscrapers falling down

Russert: clearly after Bhutto's assassination you came across a moron

Huckabee: hey i memorized factoids - Pakistan has 164 million muslims

Russet: shiite or sunnis?

Huckabee: uh, the second one?

Russert: good one - but you were wrong about Pakistanis sneaking into the USA

Russet: yeah but they could still sneak in with a dirty suitcase or shoulder fired gun

Russert: how is bush arrogant?

Huckabee: they ignored military experts in invading Iraq

Russert: that's all?

Huckabee: Bushies always talking about with us or against us 100% well that's just going alienate nations unnecessarily just like when you are dealing with people

Russert: interesting

Huckabee: Romney bashed me for saying that but he also attacked Bush - what a fuckwit that flip-flopping jackass is

Russert: but if you criticize bush don't you hate America?

Huckabee: no i was with him on the Surge which is all that counts

Russert: what do you think of Mitt Romney?

Huckabee: he's dishonest, dishonorable and he's attacked me and my personal hero, John McCain

Russert: wow there’s an endorsement

Huckabee: Mitt is a pro abortion, anti gun, anti fetus, fantazising, lying, shape shifting robot

Russert: you said you don't hate illegal children but now you want to send them back to Ecudaor

Huckabee: citizenship is all very nice but kids who are US citizens should go back to their home countries and go to the back of line and we should then modernize that line

Russert: you want to send them home!

Huckabee: no i want them to GO home

Russert: but you sais it would collapse the USA economy!

Huckabee: well not all on the same day we could send them back over a period of week or two

Russert: you're a fundie preacher you said Jesus Christ wants you to run second in Iowa

Huckabee: i love to celebrate the bris of christ

Russert: you want to turn this to a Nation of Christ

Huckabee: yeah but i said that to a group of Christians Tim

Russert: do you hate non-christians

Huckabee: look i never took down the capitol dome and replaced it with a steeple

Russert: how enlightened of u

Huckster: that’s me

Russert: you comes across a narrow minded intolerant fuckwit

Huckabee: I just object to officially endorsed pedophilia or gayness

Russert: what the fuck are you talking about

Huckabee: i love it when a man and woman have penis-vagina sex

Russert: how interesting

Huckabee: why do these homosexuals keep sucking cock?

Russert: you would ban all abortions!

Huckabee: you bet

Russert: that's imposing your faith

Huckabee: no it's because life begins at conception I respect zygotes like when we rescue boy scouts who get lost

Russert: put women in prison for abortion?

Huckabee: oh no women are too dumb to make that decision

Russert: put doctors in jail?

Huckabee: oh yes unlike women doctors are smart and evil for doing abortions

Russert: what if the doctor was a woman?

Huckabee: ha ha what a crazy idea

** Obama **

Russert: you've slipped into 3d place

Obama: we'll see won't we

Russert: but you could lose

Obama: people want change

Russert: Postpone Pakistani elections?

Obama: slightly delay them to make them more legitimate but not postponed indefinitely - but it's also about a free press and judiciary and need to have a legit government

Russert: did Musharraf protect her enough?

Obama: how the fuck should i know - the point is he's a fucker who won't go after terrorists or support democracy

Russert: but Bush liked him!

Obama: yeah of course he did

Russert: did Hillary Clinton's vote for Iraq war create Bhutto's death?

Obama: no but the media has decided that Bhutto being killed helps Clinton because of her great experience which - forgive me for offending Fred Hiatt and the Washington Post - but that is bullshit

Russert: you used the s-word!

Obama: fuck you fathead

Russert: you don't have enough experience

Obama: says who, you?

Russert: Bill Clinton on Charlie Rose he says we're rolling the dice!

Obama: the real gamble is to elect Richard Mellon Scaife's evil nemesis all over again - btw way she has no judgment and is a triangulating fuckwit

Russert: but you're too young, you skinny handsome dood

Obama: why wait - we've been governed by a bunch of experienced dickwads for 7 years

Russert: but bill clinton says you're too young

Obama: sure he defends his wife hey i have more experience than he did in 1992

Russert: you say Hillary is a broken system lady

Obama: that's right she's hip-deep in all this DC shit - in fact she campaigns on it - well it's an evil system

Russert: but you might employ a lobbyist oh noes!

Obama: Ron Paul was right - you are an idiot

Russert: we know all the dirt on hillary but what about you - what's something bad about you?

Obama: i've been vetted too - guess who by - the fucking Clinton machine who went back to my elementary school to find out what crayons i used

Russert: so who vouches for u

Obama: david books

Russert: i look at you and i seek a cocaine-taking black man

Obama: yeah but that's cool - the suburban kids today love rap music and the image of safe danger i represent

Russert: you say you cover everyone under your plan which isn't true

Obama: we can cut costs, insure almost everyone, and try to get people to sign up

Russert: Quasi-mandate oh noes!!

Obama: a true mandate is fake and useless

Russert: you're wife said she's not running with you again

Obama: hey i'm still paying off my student loans

Russert: ha ha ha

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