Sunday, December 02, 2007

Meet The Press - December 2, 2007

Meet The Press
December 2, 2007
Guest: Sen. Jim Webb (D-Virginia)

Russert: jim webb is the surge in Iraq working?

Webb: well that’s a complex question

Timmy: we have all morning Webby

Webb: the Sunni Awakening started before the Surge

Tim: how do you know

Webb: I just got back from Iraq and my son is there

Tim: impressive

Webb: the Sunnis overplayed their hand - they stated assassinating people when they should have purged voters rolls and stacked the courts

Tim: that’s what I call democracy!

Webb: those terrorists are now are best friends

Tim: awww so sweet

Webb: we made a six month deal with the Shia

Tim: with an option to buy?

Webb: then there are the terrorists who have decided to try to take over Pakistan instead of Iraq

Tim: but they only have a few nuclear weapons

Webb: the turks and kurds may go to war

Tim: uh-oh

Webb: yeah it’s fun

Timmeh: Washington Post says that Bush is a genius

Webb: oh that Neoconservative rag???

Timmeh: who calls is that?

Webb: your buddy Chris Matthews

Timmeh: But shouldn’t we build a giant gold statue to Bush??

Webb: he has completely failed to do robust regional diplomacy he lurches from one failure after another and the U.S. military bails his sorry ass out

Russert: is maliki a good guy?

Webb: it’s like Beirut in the 1980s dogs and cats are living together!

Russert: mere anarchy loosed upon the whirled

Webb: the dogs of war are fighting and we all have a dog in this fight - of course Bush is more like Chihuahua

Russert: Bush says Democrats should give him money or soldiers will run out of bullets and die horrible deaths

Webb: they use cheap fear tactics - it’s pathetic

Tim: do you hate our little soldiers

Webb: they want bases for there for the next 50 years

Timmeh: well what’s wrong with that? Korea hosted the Olympics and gave us that great tv show

Webb: I think we should get the hell out of Iraq before Alan Alda strikes again

Timmeh: Iran terror resolution??

Webb: look if you call a group ‘terrorists’ then it’s like saying we are at war and all the smart foreign policy experts -- even Republicans -- voted against it what does that tell you Timmy??

Timmeh: should Bush be impeached if he attacks Iran?

Webb: we should post guards outside the White House to stop him if tries to launch

Timmy: Can the Democrats capture Virginia?

Webb: who is she, one of those missing white women?

Timmy: no, I mean the state

Webb: I talked to army guys in the tidewater and they’re open to a more conservative Democrat

Timmy: would you like to be vice president?

Webb: sure why not

Tim: would you accept it?

Webb: yeah but don’t muzzle me dood

Tim: who’s better Hillary or Barack?

Webb: she’s smarter but he’s better looking

Tim: heh smart answer Webby

Russert: holy omnivores Obama is winning in Iowa

Gregory: he’s found his voice it’s silky smooth and frankly very sexy

Tim: women swooned

Robinson: Hillary was banking on inevitability and Obama has this crazy tactic of meeting people and talking to them

Tim: wow that’s crazy enough to work

Brody: Edwards has slung all the mud for Barack and also done the blocking and tackling

Gregory: dems are nervous because they got burned with Kerry

Michelle Norris: they are playing it safe

Russert: you were at the brown and black forum

Norris: hillary doesn't go down easy

Timmeh: it's all about the black vote in South Carolina Eugene Robinson

Eugene: blacks are looking at this young fellow Barack

Tim: you're saying that south carolina voters will take their cues from inbred white farmers in iowa

Robinson: they like them some Clinton magic

Gregory: she is so evil and polarizing

Brody: intangibles - Oprah and Faith

Russert: hey you never know what will happen Hillary has Teh Bomber and Obama Meets with Bloomberg

Gregory: thankfully tragedy was averted

Russert: yes Obama is a black man but he was not stopped and shot by the NYPD

Norris: Oprah is the #1 tv program in Iowa

Russert: not Meet the Press? so sad

Norris: well with ‘women over 50’ -- you still lead with ‘Demented Shut-Ins’ Tim

Tim: yay!

Russert: bill clinton said something this week

Brody: it teh Baggage of the Nineties!!

Tim: fascinating

Brodry: he's like allen iverson he was the first black president

Tim: but he was Teh Answer

Brody: what was The Question

Tim: Huckabee leading in iowa even though he's only spent $7.50 and Romney spent $10 million

Brody: he assured the Iowans the he is also a gun-toting bible-thumping cracker

Norris: ron paul may beat mccain

Russert: the NH newspaper has endorsed john mccain of course they also said steve forbes would save America

Gregory: Rudy thinks he can win Callyfornica and Florida

Russert: why those states

Gregory: they are immoral cesspools of perverted sex and corruption

Russert: ah you mean his base

Robinson: bernie kerick says don't worry all the payoffs were accounted for

Russert: huckabee could save rudy's ass

Norris: Rudy has been endorsed by the leaders of the Chrisian Nutty Right but if Rudy supports the Gays they will stay home and watch a wholesome show like Will & Grace

Brody: huckabee said to Rudy ‘you look ugly in that dress but bless you for trying’

Russert: Rudy will be next week

Greogry: with bells on his toes?

Russert: we can only hope

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