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Countdown with Keith Olbermann - Tuesday, May 29, 2007
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Keith: dood does Cindy sheehan have a good point about America being distracted by American Idol
Gore: well lets just say that Jefferson and Madison would be pretty fucking appalled at what their country has become
Keith: but they were passionate
Gore: true there was no golden age but for gods sake we just built a creation museum next we'll declare viruses and gravity to be tests from god its a total assult on logic and reason
Keith: ok
Gore: My internets is a good thing because it emphasizes the written word and a robust conversation -- in other words thank god for bloggers telling Newt Gingrich and Karl Rove to shove it
Keith: Congressional dems buckled
Gore: look dood bush has the bully pulpit their hands were tied they just didn't have the votes
Keith: should we hold Congressional votes in the middle of reality shows
Gore: i have a whole book of recommnedations like that why not have debates in prime time for those few people who give a shit
Keith: u say bush is teh big liar
Gore: its true cheney gets up and every morning lies like other people breathe they lied to get us into the war which call me crazy is kind of big deal
Keith: no yur not crazy
Gore: the whole national conversation we're having subverts democracy because they lie and frankly the american people need to get off their asses and treat their lying leaders with a little skepticism
Keith: democracy is tough
Gore: the american people are too easily swayed by outrageous bullshit but in their defense they know the GOP are probably going to steal the election anyway
Keith: they just change the channel
Gore: tv ads are so dumb teh people get turned off completely and they dont know who to believe
Keith: not good
Gore: people have to use the internet and other tools to insist our leaders use reason and logic cause frankly too many people are reading about Lindsay Lohan while our Founding fathers are betrayed
Keith: dood r u going to run 4 President
Gore: im not thinking about it running but im not ruling it out either and just to be really coy let me point out that i can wait to enter the race until later if i want to
Keith: please run please
Gore: well this book is an obvious starting point
Keith: so fucking run already dood!!!
Gore: well gosh u know i would love to but i still face the hurdle of maureen dowd and the kool kidz who still are hating on Big Al
Keith: when do u announce
Gore: i dunno but why not september everyone else talks about it
Keith: please run
Gore: if i do maybe i'll announce on yur show
Keith: awesome
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Hardball - Tuesday, May 29, 3007
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Hardball - Tuesday, May 29, 3007
**************************************************
Talbot: bugliosi is a slick lawyer who relies on a rock musician that may have worked on Helter Skelter but this is an assasination not the charlie mansion family
Chris: dood Oswald worked at the Depository beofore the parade route was planned who put the preznit in his line of fire
Talbot: dood Lee Harvey slipped in and out of the USSR like fucking James Bond explain that
Chris: did the Irish mafia kill JFK
Talbot: what the fuck r u talking about
Bugolisi: fuck you both now i wanna talk
Chris: ok go ahead dickhead
Vincent: dood all this is all old news teh acoustics are rock solid i got the guy who did the remix on Walk This Way and Freebird
Talbot: thats not bad
Vincent: Was RFK teh big liar when he said there was no consipiracy?
Talbot: dood he wuz carrying around Kennedy's brain around for evidence - it was a strategic lie
Chris: who killed my prez
Vincent: dood it wuz Oswald all alone but what really bugs me is how obsessive people are about this case and im not exaggerating i figured it out while working on it for 20 years
chris: uh huh
Bugliosi: now Talbot is saying bobby covered up the murder of his own brother
Talbot: no he wuz in fear for his life Hoover had it in for him ever since bobby wouldn't lend him Ethel's clothes when she was out of town
Bugliosi: thats crazy they weren't even the same size
Talbot: lots of people believed in the conspiracy dood
Vincent: do u think LBJ was involved
Talbot: no u r saying that not me
Vincent: yur supremely silly look im shouting
Pat Buchanan: i blame the movie for all this
Tweety: Oliver Stone was totally irresponsible how dare someone present a slanted view on tv or the movies
Herbert: let me trot out the tired cliche that people don't want to believe that a great man can be killed by some lone nut
Pat: all politics is tribal - for example all non-americans are bums
Tweety: Lets talk about my boyfriend Rudy -- how can he be so wonderful?
Herbert: can he maintain this psycho killer smile thru the election
Tweety: did u say erection that's why i'm thinking of!!!
Pat: yes you know i think....
Tweety: sorry all this talk about Rudy and erections means i have to cut the show short and go into my dressing rooom
Hardball - Tuesday, May 29, 3007
**************************************************
Talbot: bugliosi is a slick lawyer who relies on a rock musician that may have worked on Helter Skelter but this is an assasination not the charlie mansion family
Chris: dood Oswald worked at the Depository beofore the parade route was planned who put the preznit in his line of fire
Talbot: dood Lee Harvey slipped in and out of the USSR like fucking James Bond explain that
Chris: did the Irish mafia kill JFK
Talbot: what the fuck r u talking about
Bugolisi: fuck you both now i wanna talk
Chris: ok go ahead dickhead
Vincent: dood all this is all old news teh acoustics are rock solid i got the guy who did the remix on Walk This Way and Freebird
Talbot: thats not bad
Vincent: Was RFK teh big liar when he said there was no consipiracy?
Talbot: dood he wuz carrying around Kennedy's brain around for evidence - it was a strategic lie
Chris: who killed my prez
Vincent: dood it wuz Oswald all alone but what really bugs me is how obsessive people are about this case and im not exaggerating i figured it out while working on it for 20 years
chris: uh huh
Bugliosi: now Talbot is saying bobby covered up the murder of his own brother
Talbot: no he wuz in fear for his life Hoover had it in for him ever since bobby wouldn't lend him Ethel's clothes when she was out of town
Bugliosi: thats crazy they weren't even the same size
Talbot: lots of people believed in the conspiracy dood
Vincent: do u think LBJ was involved
Talbot: no u r saying that not me
Vincent: yur supremely silly look im shouting
Pat Buchanan: i blame the movie for all this
Tweety: Oliver Stone was totally irresponsible how dare someone present a slanted view on tv or the movies
Herbert: let me trot out the tired cliche that people don't want to believe that a great man can be killed by some lone nut
Pat: all politics is tribal - for example all non-americans are bums
Tweety: Lets talk about my boyfriend Rudy -- how can he be so wonderful?
Herbert: can he maintain this psycho killer smile thru the election
Tweety: did u say erection that's why i'm thinking of!!!
Pat: yes you know i think....
Tweety: sorry all this talk about Rudy and erections means i have to cut the show short and go into my dressing rooom
The Chris Matthews Show - Sunday, May 27, 2007
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The Chris Matthews Show - Sunday, May 27, 2007
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Matthews: new books say hillary covered up bill’s affairs
Sully: teh 90s were all about the clintons being unfairly attacked so we should not elect hillary
Fineman: shes a double helix
Borger: people are sick of bill and hillary that’s why she leads in teh polls
Matthews: carl berstein sez she wuz ambitious and hes and honorable man
Hearn: so she’s controlling - like Rudy isnt
Chris: she's not honest about the Clenis
Fineman: she covered up hubby's affairs i cant stand that
Borger: she's the Godfather!
Matthews: She's lucca brazzzi!
Sully: my name is luka and i whore on teh second floor
Matthews: can she win only with she-devils vote
Fineman: yeah she goes for the bread and butter issues and you how women love to hang out in the kitchen
Chris: how does she win
Fineman: she gets all the women to vote absentee in California
Chris: why are all the wimmin absentee
Fineman: they’re all off getting abortions
Borger: they tell poor women obama is a fancy idealist
Matthews: but poor people need to dream while they park my car
Borger: its like that Nike ad - I could be like Hill
Hearn: waitresses don’t vote they’re too busy cleaning up after rich white guys
Sully: this could all change when people find out Obama is married to a chick coal miner
Chris: that hottie from that movie with Charlie Theron wow
Sully: they had a written deal to divide America between them thats creepy I mena how do they think they are the bushes or something
Borger: will the voters compartmentalize - that is do what the beltway press corps want them to do and reject hillary or be all evil and vote for her
Chris: so that’s good can teh GOP still win
Fineman: no dood look at the polls
Chris: no dammitt tell the Republicans win - now tell me!!
Borger: where are the values voter what about Rudy Giulian-
Chris: don’t u dare criticize my man crush Gloria
Hearn: her numbers go up when idiot men like Chris Matthews keep irrationally attacking her
Chris: shes evil and i hate her
Matthews: ok will hillary use female wiles and intimidation of the media to screw America
Fineman: do i have to accept your crazy premise
Sully: it’s all about the insane war i supported for years
Chris: who duz that help
Sully: obama because like me he knows the war is a bad idea
Chris: we cant accept that a loser could kill a great man JFK, Lincoln or Franz Ferdinand
Fineman: its part of democracy i for have never gotten over the assassination of garfield
Chris: they killed that cute cat those motherfuckers
Fineman: no you idiot
Chris: the unwashed masses need to believe it was moriarty, iago or professor plum with the candlestick
Borger: yes i agree the little people who are inferior to you and me can't accept reality that it was a confederacy of dunces who shot oswald
Matthews: the liberals just cant accept that Oswald a liberal and leftists who killed kennedy
Heard: no its that Oswald said he was a pastry and then he wuz shot by Ruby Tuesday who said he wuz set up by some white dood who was then drowned by Prescott Bush
Sully: i don’t really give a shit
Chris: Oswald acted alone and heres the proof he worked at the suppository before the route wuz made up so hah!
Sully: dood it wuz downtown dallas where else wuz he gonna go
Chris: either u believe me or u think the irish mafia killed he Kennedy because he stole their lucky charms
Borger: but we’re so cynical now why people even question the Beltway media
Chris: anyone who sez jfk was killed by more than one person is wrong because kennedy gave a speech saying if we leave saigon falls
Hearn: i thought that movie was way cool when i 13 yrs old
Sully: its just a fucking mystery but it history’s mystery now
Chris: Sully i luv but yur out to lunch
Sully: right back at ya dood
Chris: tell something i dunno
Hearn: Pelosi will go to Greenland to see it before its all gone into the sea
Fineman: Gore and Bloomberg will work together and then apart and then together again when Gore and Bloomie but run for Prez
Chris: whoa dood wait u just said Gore is running for Prez
Fineman: yes i did dood
Borger: many congressman will resign if they cant get free hot tub sex from lobbyists can u blame them
Sully: the preznit and sec of state cant control foreign policy in their own administration so were going to war with iran
Matthews: wow u all think my man-crush Fred Thompson is running that’s so cool - can he beat that weenie Gore
Fineman: he’ll run in September is hillary slips in iowa
Chris: Gore is too fat to win
Fineman: by October he’ll be lean, mean and ready to kick yur ass
The Chris Matthews Show - Sunday, May 27, 2007
****************************************************
Matthews: new books say hillary covered up bill’s affairs
Sully: teh 90s were all about the clintons being unfairly attacked so we should not elect hillary
Fineman: shes a double helix
Borger: people are sick of bill and hillary that’s why she leads in teh polls
Matthews: carl berstein sez she wuz ambitious and hes and honorable man
Hearn: so she’s controlling - like Rudy isnt
Chris: she's not honest about the Clenis
Fineman: she covered up hubby's affairs i cant stand that
Borger: she's the Godfather!
Matthews: She's lucca brazzzi!
Sully: my name is luka and i whore on teh second floor
Matthews: can she win only with she-devils vote
Fineman: yeah she goes for the bread and butter issues and you how women love to hang out in the kitchen
Chris: how does she win
Fineman: she gets all the women to vote absentee in California
Chris: why are all the wimmin absentee
Fineman: they’re all off getting abortions
Borger: they tell poor women obama is a fancy idealist
Matthews: but poor people need to dream while they park my car
Borger: its like that Nike ad - I could be like Hill
Hearn: waitresses don’t vote they’re too busy cleaning up after rich white guys
Sully: this could all change when people find out Obama is married to a chick coal miner
Chris: that hottie from that movie with Charlie Theron wow
Sully: they had a written deal to divide America between them thats creepy I mena how do they think they are the bushes or something
Borger: will the voters compartmentalize - that is do what the beltway press corps want them to do and reject hillary or be all evil and vote for her
Chris: so that’s good can teh GOP still win
Fineman: no dood look at the polls
Chris: no dammitt tell the Republicans win - now tell me!!
Borger: where are the values voter what about Rudy Giulian-
Chris: don’t u dare criticize my man crush Gloria
Hearn: her numbers go up when idiot men like Chris Matthews keep irrationally attacking her
Chris: shes evil and i hate her
Matthews: ok will hillary use female wiles and intimidation of the media to screw America
Fineman: do i have to accept your crazy premise
Sully: it’s all about the insane war i supported for years
Chris: who duz that help
Sully: obama because like me he knows the war is a bad idea
Chris: we cant accept that a loser could kill a great man JFK, Lincoln or Franz Ferdinand
Fineman: its part of democracy i for have never gotten over the assassination of garfield
Chris: they killed that cute cat those motherfuckers
Fineman: no you idiot
Chris: the unwashed masses need to believe it was moriarty, iago or professor plum with the candlestick
Borger: yes i agree the little people who are inferior to you and me can't accept reality that it was a confederacy of dunces who shot oswald
Matthews: the liberals just cant accept that Oswald a liberal and leftists who killed kennedy
Heard: no its that Oswald said he was a pastry and then he wuz shot by Ruby Tuesday who said he wuz set up by some white dood who was then drowned by Prescott Bush
Sully: i don’t really give a shit
Chris: Oswald acted alone and heres the proof he worked at the suppository before the route wuz made up so hah!
Sully: dood it wuz downtown dallas where else wuz he gonna go
Chris: either u believe me or u think the irish mafia killed he Kennedy because he stole their lucky charms
Borger: but we’re so cynical now why people even question the Beltway media
Chris: anyone who sez jfk was killed by more than one person is wrong because kennedy gave a speech saying if we leave saigon falls
Hearn: i thought that movie was way cool when i 13 yrs old
Sully: its just a fucking mystery but it history’s mystery now
Chris: Sully i luv but yur out to lunch
Sully: right back at ya dood
Chris: tell something i dunno
Hearn: Pelosi will go to Greenland to see it before its all gone into the sea
Fineman: Gore and Bloomberg will work together and then apart and then together again when Gore and Bloomie but run for Prez
Chris: whoa dood wait u just said Gore is running for Prez
Fineman: yes i did dood
Borger: many congressman will resign if they cant get free hot tub sex from lobbyists can u blame them
Sully: the preznit and sec of state cant control foreign policy in their own administration so were going to war with iran
Matthews: wow u all think my man-crush Fred Thompson is running that’s so cool - can he beat that weenie Gore
Fineman: he’ll run in September is hillary slips in iowa
Chris: Gore is too fat to win
Fineman: by October he’ll be lean, mean and ready to kick yur ass
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Hardball - Friday, May 26
Hardball - Friday, May 26
**********************************************************
Matthews: i like to talk about hillary and sex
Baker: hillary likes to talk about iraq and health care and that's so phony because these books are about her husbands penis
Matthews: but Gerth works for teh New York Times so hes totally credible
Red Cheeks: this is a legitimate topic for discussion Clinton's penis and her vagina are crucial to our democracy
Matthews: hillary is such a bitch she cost 50 million americans health care
Baker: dood that is so true
Red cheeks: shes a controlling harridan
Matthews: it was her fault one her aides was robbed at an ATM
Cheeky: they didn't like ken starr you what that means they hate america
Matthews: hillary was in a three way with women at the Rose law firm
Baker: yeah thank god we can hang a legal hook on their sex life so we can talk about it
Matthews: should i buy this book is there a lot of sex in it
Baker: its fair and balanced a ripping good read
Red/shirt/red tie/red cheeks: if she would lie about her husbands penis what else would she lie about???!!!
Matthews: she covered up his affairs - did she have anyone killed?
Baker: probably - thats what makes this story so endlessly fascinating u can make anything up and talk about it
Chris: and we're back with Howard Wolfson i hope he knows alot about hillary and sex cause that's i talk about
Matthews: dood these are major publishing houses calling hillary a screeching freak
Howard Wolfson: dood who cares about these this is old news did u know theres a Harry Potter coming out
Matthews: not so fast dood i happen to be an authority on teh clinton's marriage and hillary's evilness especially
Wolfson: dood i noticed
Matthews: i always thought it was pat moynihan who stopped the health care plan now it turns out it was her vagina dentata
Wolfson: i guess republican opposition didn't count
Matthews: sex! penis! erection!
Wolfson: iraq! terror! health care!
Matthews: are people in iowa obsessed with the Clinton's sex life
Wolfson: yur doing yur best dood
Chris: did they procure women for Bill
Wolfson: dood there is a war in Iraq and all u want to talk about is Clinton's penis
Chris: dood don't talk to me i luv the war - i mean i hate it
Wolfson: whatever dood
Chris: why is everyone obsessed with Clinton's sex life then
Wolfson: dood only u - Chris Matthews - are obsessed with their sex
Chris: Mccain sez u r into surrender
Wolfson: dood that senile flak jacket wearing weirdo is welcome to this debate
Chris: let's talk about sex again
Wolfson: i think people would rather talk about the war
Chris: don't tell me about the iraq that i wake up in the morning thinking about iraq
Wolfson: alright let's talk about it
Chris: ok but dood first tell me why do the news media talk about hillary's sex life so much
[commercial break]
Matthews: and we're back to talk some more about the Clinton sex life
Melanie Morgan: the whole country will explode when this news comes out this is the great story of our time
Matthews: whats with yur face have u had a lot of plastic surgery
Melanie: dood lay off
Pariser: Iraq bill dammit this is the will of the people
Chris: but bush won't sign that bill
Pariser: dood bush is totally weak hes in nixon territory and i mean Nixon now as in dead
Chris: Melanie the iraq poll sez u suck
Morgan: american people would ideally like to see iraqi government be perfect and victory not surrender!!!
Melanie: basic human decency sez we should stay in iraq and occupy their country and bomb the living shit out of them
Pariser: dood what the fuck is victory now we're just recruiting for al qaeda
Melanie: abraham lincoln
Matthews: shut up
Hanretty: dood this is shocking me Hillary is actually a politician like everyone else!!!!
Green: i don't know how to read but people tell me Girth is an idiot-crazy-Clinton-hating obsessive
Matthews: god u r an asshole aren't u
Green: y do people always say that
Chris: do i talk about it for teh politics or to wallow in semen
Robinson: so she wuz ambitious so what
Chris: hah i luv it i can related i would do anything or anyone just to be on teevee
Morgan: it's sick to want to run f president its extreme narcissism when they look at each other they are basically another Hitler twice over
Chris: i should say now we will talk about nothing but Hillary and The Clenis for the next 2 years
[break]
Chris: Welcome back to the all Penis edition of Hardball Mark Green how big is yours
Green: im not going to answer that
Chris: small huh
Green: shut up
Chris: how did she win in NY
Green: not everyone likes Hillary personally but politically they luv her im so jealous i ran for office in NY and the more people met me teh more they hated me
Melanie: no none of that is true she never was elected to the Senate the real question is will Bill Clinton have sex in teh White House and why wont he call me
Green: why are u so bitter did u flash yur thong he likes that
Melanie: yeah he still said no thanks
Green: Teh Clintons were good presidents
Melanie: 9/11 wuz Clinton's fault
Chris: jeebus you are a loon aren't you
Chris: duz Scooter Libbry deserve 3 years in prison
Morgan: oh so sad he wuz railroaded
Chris: u disagree with the jury that he lied on the stand
Morgan: yes i disagree with the jury she wasn't covert!
Chris: are u retarded or what
Morgan: Grrrrr!!!!!!!
Chris: oh yur crazy should they pardon the Scooter?
Morgan: no because it might hurt jesus
Chris: how so
Morgan: Bush is teh reincarnation of the Lord Jeebus Christ
Chris: oh well have a good memorial day weekend everyone
**********************************************************
Matthews: i like to talk about hillary and sex
Baker: hillary likes to talk about iraq and health care and that's so phony because these books are about her husbands penis
Matthews: but Gerth works for teh New York Times so hes totally credible
Red Cheeks: this is a legitimate topic for discussion Clinton's penis and her vagina are crucial to our democracy
Matthews: hillary is such a bitch she cost 50 million americans health care
Baker: dood that is so true
Red cheeks: shes a controlling harridan
Matthews: it was her fault one her aides was robbed at an ATM
Cheeky: they didn't like ken starr you what that means they hate america
Matthews: hillary was in a three way with women at the Rose law firm
Baker: yeah thank god we can hang a legal hook on their sex life so we can talk about it
Matthews: should i buy this book is there a lot of sex in it
Baker: its fair and balanced a ripping good read
Red/shirt/red tie/red cheeks: if she would lie about her husbands penis what else would she lie about???!!!
Matthews: she covered up his affairs - did she have anyone killed?
Baker: probably - thats what makes this story so endlessly fascinating u can make anything up and talk about it
Chris: and we're back with Howard Wolfson i hope he knows alot about hillary and sex cause that's i talk about
Matthews: dood these are major publishing houses calling hillary a screeching freak
Howard Wolfson: dood who cares about these this is old news did u know theres a Harry Potter coming out
Matthews: not so fast dood i happen to be an authority on teh clinton's marriage and hillary's evilness especially
Wolfson: dood i noticed
Matthews: i always thought it was pat moynihan who stopped the health care plan now it turns out it was her vagina dentata
Wolfson: i guess republican opposition didn't count
Matthews: sex! penis! erection!
Wolfson: iraq! terror! health care!
Matthews: are people in iowa obsessed with the Clinton's sex life
Wolfson: yur doing yur best dood
Chris: did they procure women for Bill
Wolfson: dood there is a war in Iraq and all u want to talk about is Clinton's penis
Chris: dood don't talk to me i luv the war - i mean i hate it
Wolfson: whatever dood
Chris: why is everyone obsessed with Clinton's sex life then
Wolfson: dood only u - Chris Matthews - are obsessed with their sex
Chris: Mccain sez u r into surrender
Wolfson: dood that senile flak jacket wearing weirdo is welcome to this debate
Chris: let's talk about sex again
Wolfson: i think people would rather talk about the war
Chris: don't tell me about the iraq that i wake up in the morning thinking about iraq
Wolfson: alright let's talk about it
Chris: ok but dood first tell me why do the news media talk about hillary's sex life so much
[commercial break]
Matthews: and we're back to talk some more about the Clinton sex life
Melanie Morgan: the whole country will explode when this news comes out this is the great story of our time
Matthews: whats with yur face have u had a lot of plastic surgery
Melanie: dood lay off
Pariser: Iraq bill dammit this is the will of the people
Chris: but bush won't sign that bill
Pariser: dood bush is totally weak hes in nixon territory and i mean Nixon now as in dead
Chris: Melanie the iraq poll sez u suck
Morgan: american people would ideally like to see iraqi government be perfect and victory not surrender!!!
Melanie: basic human decency sez we should stay in iraq and occupy their country and bomb the living shit out of them
Pariser: dood what the fuck is victory now we're just recruiting for al qaeda
Melanie: abraham lincoln
Matthews: shut up
Hanretty: dood this is shocking me Hillary is actually a politician like everyone else!!!!
Green: i don't know how to read but people tell me Girth is an idiot-crazy-Clinton-hating obsessive
Matthews: god u r an asshole aren't u
Green: y do people always say that
Chris: do i talk about it for teh politics or to wallow in semen
Robinson: so she wuz ambitious so what
Chris: hah i luv it i can related i would do anything or anyone just to be on teevee
Morgan: it's sick to want to run f president its extreme narcissism when they look at each other they are basically another Hitler twice over
Chris: i should say now we will talk about nothing but Hillary and The Clenis for the next 2 years
[break]
Chris: Welcome back to the all Penis edition of Hardball Mark Green how big is yours
Green: im not going to answer that
Chris: small huh
Green: shut up
Chris: how did she win in NY
Green: not everyone likes Hillary personally but politically they luv her im so jealous i ran for office in NY and the more people met me teh more they hated me
Melanie: no none of that is true she never was elected to the Senate the real question is will Bill Clinton have sex in teh White House and why wont he call me
Green: why are u so bitter did u flash yur thong he likes that
Melanie: yeah he still said no thanks
Green: Teh Clintons were good presidents
Melanie: 9/11 wuz Clinton's fault
Chris: jeebus you are a loon aren't you
Chris: duz Scooter Libbry deserve 3 years in prison
Morgan: oh so sad he wuz railroaded
Chris: u disagree with the jury that he lied on the stand
Morgan: yes i disagree with the jury she wasn't covert!
Chris: are u retarded or what
Morgan: Grrrrr!!!!!!!
Chris: oh yur crazy should they pardon the Scooter?
Morgan: no because it might hurt jesus
Chris: how so
Morgan: Bush is teh reincarnation of the Lord Jeebus Christ
Chris: oh well have a good memorial day weekend everyone
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Meet The Press, May 20, 2007
**********************************************
Meet The Press, May 20, 2007
**********************************************
Dodd: when u have a military hammer everything looks like a country u can bomb the shit out of
Newtie: look at me im condescending and wrong all the time
Russert: yeah yeah
Newt: are we prepared to accept and legislate defeat look at i know how troops in combat think i played with a lot of toy soliders during vietnam
Russert: well there you go
Newt: we need to bomb Iran, North Korea, Waziristan, Hamas, Russia, Estonia, London and New Jersey
Tim: ok
Newt: the forces of freedom are on retreat!
Tim: scary
Newt: Malestrom of evil!
Tim: Dodd what if we left and Iraq got chaotic
Dodd: um dood iraq is not exactly Nantucket right now -- criminy's there a fucking civil war going on as we speak
Tim: interesting
Dodd: there is no military solution - yeah there could there be problems if we leave but America has been weakened and Chickenhawk Newt isn't helping
Newt: dood i wrote three fucking fictional novels so i know what i'm talking about!!
Tim: that makes him an expert Chris
Newt: we have a higher standard for Iraqi parliament than for Nancy Pelosi who sux here's what we should do -- we should win!!!
Russert: brilliant but how
Newt: easy Iraqi biometric id cards, more young republicans in Iraq, encourage iraqis to try really hard, also blockade the nation of Iran
Russert: well that sounds very simple
Dodd: oh yeah thats just great but the iraqis don't even want to fight this war for god's sake
Newt: iraq is not the heart of the war of terror - we need to fight the shia and sunni both want to destroy freedom as we know it - we can win this war like we did in WWII if really really wanted to
Russert: USA! USA!
Newt: we could lose an American city
Russert: can you imagine if we lost a city to bombing or flooding
Newt: we should never talk to iran or syria
Dodd: Reagan talked to the soviets
Newt: all right fine lets to talk to them but Reagan had a grand strategery involving the pope to take down the USSR
Russert: so impressive
Newt: this is just like America in 1776 would the French have given up on us if the colonies were in total chaos and thousands were being killed in random attacks and if French troops came to help us and several of them were killed every single day in attacks by colonials and Americans would never fight would the French have pulled out??
Dood: dood um for sure
Russert: firm date?
Newt: that would send sublimal messages to our troops to try to avoid getting killed and we can't have that
Russert: good point
Newt: look at Fort Dix terrorists will come here just as soon as their Frequent Terror Miles kick in
Dodd: i feel like I'm debating a total nutcase
Tim: thank you for yur civility - so Newtie r u running?
Newt: i have silver hair
Dood: dood my eyebrowz rule over u
[ commercial break ]
Brinkley: Reagan diaries are an invaluable resource for scientists studying an example of long mental decline
Russert: dood was too dependent on Nancy
Brinkley: yeah its cute
Deaver: she made him what he was - she was teh best supporting actress
Meese: she was his helpmate like eve with adam
Timmeh: awwwwwwwwww
Meese: she also ended drug use in America by appearing "Diff'rent Strokes"
Tim: he hated his grown kidz he had screaming fights with all three just because the Secret Service broke into their house
Russert: Reagan said getting shot hurts - owed his life to God
Deaver: unlike Reagan i didn't forget to duck
Meese: he said who's minding the store and we said don't worry Al Haig is in charge
Brinkley: he almost died and we could have had a Bush as President
Russert: can u imagine
Brinkley: he forgave Hinkley - when he found he he had a mental illness he emphathized
Russert: wuz he a tree worhsipper
Deaver: he worshipped redwoods and nancy worshipped him
Brinkley: he reviewed his debate dallies with Jack Warner
Meese: Reagan had a photographic memory for bullshit
Russert: Bitburg
Deaver: yeah that was my fault - he wanted to visit the set of Hogan's Heroes and that was the best i could do
Russert: he hated the press
Deaver: when Donaldson was around he liked to pretend he wuz deaf
Russert: Iran contra -- Reagan found out the law was broken was going to fire someone and changed his mind
Meese: Ollie North did all this without any of us knowing but trust me Reagan was completely ignorant
Russert: by 1987 was he senile?
Deaver: well really it was hard to tell
[ shows film of Reagan acknowledging scandal ]
Russert: classic Reagan - could never tell between fantasy and reality
********************************************************
Meet The Press, May 20, 2007
**********************************************
Dodd: when u have a military hammer everything looks like a country u can bomb the shit out of
Newtie: look at me im condescending and wrong all the time
Russert: yeah yeah
Newt: are we prepared to accept and legislate defeat look at i know how troops in combat think i played with a lot of toy soliders during vietnam
Russert: well there you go
Newt: we need to bomb Iran, North Korea, Waziristan, Hamas, Russia, Estonia, London and New Jersey
Tim: ok
Newt: the forces of freedom are on retreat!
Tim: scary
Newt: Malestrom of evil!
Tim: Dodd what if we left and Iraq got chaotic
Dodd: um dood iraq is not exactly Nantucket right now -- criminy's there a fucking civil war going on as we speak
Tim: interesting
Dodd: there is no military solution - yeah there could there be problems if we leave but America has been weakened and Chickenhawk Newt isn't helping
Newt: dood i wrote three fucking fictional novels so i know what i'm talking about!!
Tim: that makes him an expert Chris
Newt: we have a higher standard for Iraqi parliament than for Nancy Pelosi who sux here's what we should do -- we should win!!!
Russert: brilliant but how
Newt: easy Iraqi biometric id cards, more young republicans in Iraq, encourage iraqis to try really hard, also blockade the nation of Iran
Russert: well that sounds very simple
Dodd: oh yeah thats just great but the iraqis don't even want to fight this war for god's sake
Newt: iraq is not the heart of the war of terror - we need to fight the shia and sunni both want to destroy freedom as we know it - we can win this war like we did in WWII if really really wanted to
Russert: USA! USA!
Newt: we could lose an American city
Russert: can you imagine if we lost a city to bombing or flooding
Newt: we should never talk to iran or syria
Dodd: Reagan talked to the soviets
Newt: all right fine lets to talk to them but Reagan had a grand strategery involving the pope to take down the USSR
Russert: so impressive
Newt: this is just like America in 1776 would the French have given up on us if the colonies were in total chaos and thousands were being killed in random attacks and if French troops came to help us and several of them were killed every single day in attacks by colonials and Americans would never fight would the French have pulled out??
Dood: dood um for sure
Russert: firm date?
Newt: that would send sublimal messages to our troops to try to avoid getting killed and we can't have that
Russert: good point
Newt: look at Fort Dix terrorists will come here just as soon as their Frequent Terror Miles kick in
Dodd: i feel like I'm debating a total nutcase
Tim: thank you for yur civility - so Newtie r u running?
Newt: i have silver hair
Dood: dood my eyebrowz rule over u
[ commercial break ]
Brinkley: Reagan diaries are an invaluable resource for scientists studying an example of long mental decline
Russert: dood was too dependent on Nancy
Brinkley: yeah its cute
Deaver: she made him what he was - she was teh best supporting actress
Meese: she was his helpmate like eve with adam
Timmeh: awwwwwwwwww
Meese: she also ended drug use in America by appearing "Diff'rent Strokes"
Tim: he hated his grown kidz he had screaming fights with all three just because the Secret Service broke into their house
Russert: Reagan said getting shot hurts - owed his life to God
Deaver: unlike Reagan i didn't forget to duck
Meese: he said who's minding the store and we said don't worry Al Haig is in charge
Brinkley: he almost died and we could have had a Bush as President
Russert: can u imagine
Brinkley: he forgave Hinkley - when he found he he had a mental illness he emphathized
Russert: wuz he a tree worhsipper
Deaver: he worshipped redwoods and nancy worshipped him
Brinkley: he reviewed his debate dallies with Jack Warner
Meese: Reagan had a photographic memory for bullshit
Russert: Bitburg
Deaver: yeah that was my fault - he wanted to visit the set of Hogan's Heroes and that was the best i could do
Russert: he hated the press
Deaver: when Donaldson was around he liked to pretend he wuz deaf
Russert: Iran contra -- Reagan found out the law was broken was going to fire someone and changed his mind
Meese: Ollie North did all this without any of us knowing but trust me Reagan was completely ignorant
Russert: by 1987 was he senile?
Deaver: well really it was hard to tell
[ shows film of Reagan acknowledging scandal ]
Russert: classic Reagan - could never tell between fantasy and reality
********************************************************
The Chris Matthews Show, May 20, 2007
***********************************************************
The Chris Matthews Show, May 20, 2007
***********************************************************
Bob Woodward: My buddy Bush needs to ask what is the moral basis for the occupation of Iraq
Chris Matthews: um yeah what is it again
Woodward: he sez Iraq could get violent
David Brooks: I looked in teh eyes of iraqis they will die if we leave
Matthews: surge yes or no
Brooks: We’re on the 5th reel of this movie but iraqis are still sitting thru the previews
Mitchell: Maliki is teh looser - we withdraw in September
Kay: what happens when we leave - al qaeda could move in
Matthews: damm - so will there be a civil war?
Andrea Mitchell: Saudis say we will fight for Sunni minority, plus Iran sez dood be careful we will fight for Shia too
Brooks: im an expert on teh mentality of the bobos in Iraq - they're very primal they're into killing
Matthews: should we stay for 10 years
Kay: dood i wouldn't build a summer home their now
Woodward: it's very violent in Iraq it's almost as bad as Philly
Matthews: hey
Woodward: sorry dood
Chris: regional war?
Brooks: look i know the Saudis really well - did you know that there are only three real countries in the Middle East
Kay: quel idiot
Andrea: look i luv the iraq war and now its a terror base but people there do seem to hate us
Woodward: Saudis fear a war with Iran
Andrea: War Czar may rethink our strategery there
Brooks: i hope they will look into the abyss and freak out and its worth losing a solider a day until xmas to find out
Matthews: catalyst?
Woodward: something bad happening
Matthews: whoa sophisticated analysis
Mattthews: ok we’re back and here i mock Hillary with my lame musical jokes
Panel: heh
Matthews: hillary scares me she waves her hands like eva peron
Chris: i luv bill clinton
Brooks: maneater - evita - jesus christ superstar yeah that makes no sense at all
Chris: yur like teh Phantom of the Op-ed
Matthews: and we’re back let’s talk Third Parties i luv ross perot he’s the reason Clinton won
Chuck Hegel: i would really luv access to Bloomberg's money
Kay: the pundits luv a third party
Brooks: money's not enough they have no issues
Chris: but he’s so cuddly and competent
Brooks: dood that should a minimum requirement not a campaign slogan
Mitchell: this Bloomberg-Hagel thing is for real
Woodward: if only we had some egomanical billionaires in America
Kay: Wolfie was outed because Bush shoved him in pissing everyone off
Woodward: secret memos show iraq was an is a failed state
Brooks: al qaeda moving into Palestine i saw their U-Hauls with a logo of Osama on the side this weekend.
The Chris Matthews Show, May 20, 2007
***********************************************************
Bob Woodward: My buddy Bush needs to ask what is the moral basis for the occupation of Iraq
Chris Matthews: um yeah what is it again
Woodward: he sez Iraq could get violent
David Brooks: I looked in teh eyes of iraqis they will die if we leave
Matthews: surge yes or no
Brooks: We’re on the 5th reel of this movie but iraqis are still sitting thru the previews
Mitchell: Maliki is teh looser - we withdraw in September
Kay: what happens when we leave - al qaeda could move in
Matthews: damm - so will there be a civil war?
Andrea Mitchell: Saudis say we will fight for Sunni minority, plus Iran sez dood be careful we will fight for Shia too
Brooks: im an expert on teh mentality of the bobos in Iraq - they're very primal they're into killing
Matthews: should we stay for 10 years
Kay: dood i wouldn't build a summer home their now
Woodward: it's very violent in Iraq it's almost as bad as Philly
Matthews: hey
Woodward: sorry dood
Chris: regional war?
Brooks: look i know the Saudis really well - did you know that there are only three real countries in the Middle East
Kay: quel idiot
Andrea: look i luv the iraq war and now its a terror base but people there do seem to hate us
Woodward: Saudis fear a war with Iran
Andrea: War Czar may rethink our strategery there
Brooks: i hope they will look into the abyss and freak out and its worth losing a solider a day until xmas to find out
Matthews: catalyst?
Woodward: something bad happening
Matthews: whoa sophisticated analysis
Mattthews: ok we’re back and here i mock Hillary with my lame musical jokes
Panel: heh
Matthews: hillary scares me she waves her hands like eva peron
Chris: i luv bill clinton
Brooks: maneater - evita - jesus christ superstar yeah that makes no sense at all
Chris: yur like teh Phantom of the Op-ed
Matthews: and we’re back let’s talk Third Parties i luv ross perot he’s the reason Clinton won
Chuck Hegel: i would really luv access to Bloomberg's money
Kay: the pundits luv a third party
Brooks: money's not enough they have no issues
Chris: but he’s so cuddly and competent
Brooks: dood that should a minimum requirement not a campaign slogan
Mitchell: this Bloomberg-Hagel thing is for real
Woodward: if only we had some egomanical billionaires in America
Kay: Wolfie was outed because Bush shoved him in pissing everyone off
Woodward: secret memos show iraq was an is a failed state
Brooks: al qaeda moving into Palestine i saw their U-Hauls with a logo of Osama on the side this weekend.
McLaughlin Group, May 20, 2007
*******************************************************
McLaughlin Group, May 20, 2007
*********************************************************
McLaughlin: Immigration bill yes or no
Buchanan: its a secret beltway deal for amnesty 20 million illegals its an attack on the Republican base and Ronald Reagan and it could cost Bush the next election
John: wow tough talk
Buchanan: it will destroy the GOP and America!
Clift: its pretty tough on illegal immigrants actually but it may not pass
Blankely: i agree with Pat - but it could pass and Bush will sign it - if he does it will be a civil war in the GOP and he will be remembered as another Hoover
Zuckerman: i'm a businessman and i luv this bill
McLaughlin: you can bring in more indian computer geeks
Zuckerman: there’s a shortage in america of smart people and unskilled workers too
John: do we have an excess of anything?
Zuckerman: blowhard pundits
Clift: how do all these people go home and then come back
Blankely: right
Buchanan: im a friend to african americans and single moms Zuckman dood you are killing America!!!
Zucker: no we have low unemployment
Buchanan: so by bringing in more unskilled workers u take jobs away
Zuckerman: worker shortage!
Clift: not all illegal immigrants are unskilled
Buchanan: this law will destroy America
Clift: immigrants help America
Blankley: i hate it when we encourage people come to America
McL: yur an immigrant
Blankley: thats true
Zuckerman: Report on Olmert devastating
McLaughlin: wow
Zucker: Israelis must respond to attacks by Hamas
McL: peace process?
Zucker: there isn’t one
Clift: Israelis don’t want to get sucked into war in Gaza
Buchanan: Bush gave up all our leverage and has done nothing for seven years!
Blankley: come see the violence inherent in the system
Buchanan: we drove them to that violence
Clift: isolation sux
Zuckerman: they reject modernity
Clift: they’re not billionaires like you Mort - they were born in refugee camps which affects yur view of how wonderful modernity is.
McL: Is Sarkozy a star????
Buchanan: Yes he’s is a star
Clift: sure why not
Zuckerman: he luvs america
McLaughlin: the answer is Yes!
McLaughlin Group, May 20, 2007
*********************************************************
McLaughlin: Immigration bill yes or no
Buchanan: its a secret beltway deal for amnesty 20 million illegals its an attack on the Republican base and Ronald Reagan and it could cost Bush the next election
John: wow tough talk
Buchanan: it will destroy the GOP and America!
Clift: its pretty tough on illegal immigrants actually but it may not pass
Blankely: i agree with Pat - but it could pass and Bush will sign it - if he does it will be a civil war in the GOP and he will be remembered as another Hoover
Zuckerman: i'm a businessman and i luv this bill
McLaughlin: you can bring in more indian computer geeks
Zuckerman: there’s a shortage in america of smart people and unskilled workers too
John: do we have an excess of anything?
Zuckerman: blowhard pundits
Clift: how do all these people go home and then come back
Blankely: right
Buchanan: im a friend to african americans and single moms Zuckman dood you are killing America!!!
Zucker: no we have low unemployment
Buchanan: so by bringing in more unskilled workers u take jobs away
Zuckerman: worker shortage!
Clift: not all illegal immigrants are unskilled
Buchanan: this law will destroy America
Clift: immigrants help America
Blankley: i hate it when we encourage people come to America
McL: yur an immigrant
Blankley: thats true
Zuckerman: Report on Olmert devastating
McLaughlin: wow
Zucker: Israelis must respond to attacks by Hamas
McL: peace process?
Zucker: there isn’t one
Clift: Israelis don’t want to get sucked into war in Gaza
Buchanan: Bush gave up all our leverage and has done nothing for seven years!
Blankley: come see the violence inherent in the system
Buchanan: we drove them to that violence
Clift: isolation sux
Zuckerman: they reject modernity
Clift: they’re not billionaires like you Mort - they were born in refugee camps which affects yur view of how wonderful modernity is.
McL: Is Sarkozy a star????
Buchanan: Yes he’s is a star
Clift: sure why not
Zuckerman: he luvs america
McLaughlin: the answer is Yes!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Hardball - Thursday, May 17
Hardball - Thursday, May 17 (Last Ten Minutes)
****************************************************************************
Tweety: yur from chicago like teh deep dish
Chicago Reporter: thanx
Tweety: immigration bill is teh fake
Chicago Reporter: its teh song and dance
Tweety: all that jazz
Chicago: yeah
Tweety: im cynical but tomorrow there will still be illegals
Chic: well give it a day
Tweety: will Congress really make it illegal to hire someone legally
Chic: maybe
Tweety: teh angloes luv the fence
Tweety: WSJ supports Abu Wall Street Journal is Shakespearean they also can't get blood off their hands
Ron Reagan: this scandal leads to the White House question is now who was beating up on Ashcroft in the hospital
O'Beirne: im in teh beltway i say this is boooring
Tweety: Ashcroft was in a coma like Michael Douglas in that Crichton movie
O'Beirne: but he followed the balloon with his eyes and he said go ahead and wiretap
Tweety: its like Barzzini in teh Godfather he sleeps with teh fishes
O'Beirne: his sex life is irrelevant dood
Reagan: it was totally illegal
O'Beire: no its legal now
Reagan: how about B4
O'Berine: i dunno
Reagan: well maybe we should r u a citizen or sheeperson
Tweety: wow David Mamet couldn't write this
Reagan: coffee is closers dood now take yur meds tweety
Rosie O'Donnell: invading iraq it like teh terrorism
O'Beirne: poor elizabeth she ain't not Hasselbeck girl she has to sleep with teh looser
Reagan: most americans would not accept $2,000 if their child was killed by an arab soldier in their hometown call me crazy
O'Beirne: the troops! the troops!
Tweety: u go gurl
O'Beirne: im bending over backwards to justify killing civilians
Reagan: Rosie isnt a good poster gurl
Tweety: im a nationalist but there r many people who hate america in know because they disagree with me
O'Beirne: rosie is fat
Tweety: there r gud critics like me who luv America and there are dirty hippie bloggers like that dood who duz teh Bobblespeak Translations who hate america and we must always remember the difference
****************************************************************************
Tweety: yur from chicago like teh deep dish
Chicago Reporter: thanx
Tweety: immigration bill is teh fake
Chicago Reporter: its teh song and dance
Tweety: all that jazz
Chicago: yeah
Tweety: im cynical but tomorrow there will still be illegals
Chic: well give it a day
Tweety: will Congress really make it illegal to hire someone legally
Chic: maybe
Tweety: teh angloes luv the fence
Tweety: WSJ supports Abu Wall Street Journal is Shakespearean they also can't get blood off their hands
Ron Reagan: this scandal leads to the White House question is now who was beating up on Ashcroft in the hospital
O'Beirne: im in teh beltway i say this is boooring
Tweety: Ashcroft was in a coma like Michael Douglas in that Crichton movie
O'Beirne: but he followed the balloon with his eyes and he said go ahead and wiretap
Tweety: its like Barzzini in teh Godfather he sleeps with teh fishes
O'Beirne: his sex life is irrelevant dood
Reagan: it was totally illegal
O'Beire: no its legal now
Reagan: how about B4
O'Berine: i dunno
Reagan: well maybe we should r u a citizen or sheeperson
Tweety: wow David Mamet couldn't write this
Reagan: coffee is closers dood now take yur meds tweety
Rosie O'Donnell: invading iraq it like teh terrorism
O'Beirne: poor elizabeth she ain't not Hasselbeck girl she has to sleep with teh looser
Reagan: most americans would not accept $2,000 if their child was killed by an arab soldier in their hometown call me crazy
O'Beirne: the troops! the troops!
Tweety: u go gurl
O'Beirne: im bending over backwards to justify killing civilians
Reagan: Rosie isnt a good poster gurl
Tweety: im a nationalist but there r many people who hate america in know because they disagree with me
O'Beirne: rosie is fat
Tweety: there r gud critics like me who luv America and there are dirty hippie bloggers like that dood who duz teh Bobblespeak Translations who hate america and we must always remember the difference
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Republican Debate in South Carolina - May 14, 2007
Republican Debate in South Carolina - May 14, 2007
******************************************************************************************
Our contestants tonight include a methodist, a couple of baptists, a catholic who's been married three times, a kansan with 5 children, and a mormon whose hobbies include scientology, magic underwear and sculpting his hair.
Let's get to it!
Brit Hume: Iraq
McCain: read Osama bin Laden's new book - seriously, it's good it lays out of lot of good ideas on how take over iraq
Thompson (Tommy, not Fred): dood i studied for this debate look i even memorized how many soliders have been killed
Hume: yeah but that over an hour ago
Thompson: damm
Mitt: i'm here tonight to project success not failure look dood all teh muslims are all united the sunni and shiia and buddhist want to bring down the united states government
Chris Wallace: wow
Brownback: we're losing because of liberal bloggers aren't behind teh war - dood harry reid has stabbed us all in the back
Wallace: solution
Brownback: teh Articles of Confederation were great we should try it in iraq
Wallace: how evil are democrats
Guiliani: they're the worst evilness in teh history of warfare
Wallace: will tehy follow us here
Rudy: dood thank god in Fort Dix teh FBI caught that guy they sent to those doods to offer to sell them machine guns
Tancredo: dood should we have constabulary force
Wallace: no because this isn't 18th century london dood
Tancredo: as president i will make no decisions but i will cheer teh troops as they are killed
Ron Paul: dood i tried to offer a declaration of war in 2002 and guess what the hawks said no
Wallace: Reagan was the best
Paul: Reagan turned and ran cause he found out the Middle East was not in the hollywood hills
Duncan Hunter: one of us will be commander in chief in a few months
Wallace: dood do u know something we dont
Huckabee: i dont know much about foreign policy but i will get good advice like from jesus
Lorelei Gilmore: we have no choice now but offer very strong empty platitudes on Iran - next thing you know Egypt will get the bomb and then maybe Israel
Moderator: dood yur "flip flop mitt"
Romney: read my hair no new taxes
Mod: i like it
Romney: im going to cut unnecessary waste and spending
Mod: wow never head that before
McCain: if we dont keep teh tax cuts all the little farmers will have to recalculate and they're not too smart
Mod: dont repeate the drunker sailor story dood
McCain: oh yes i will u cant stop me
Mod: dood way to prove yur not senile
Huckabee: Americans are not smart enough to know the taxes they're paying we spend like John Edwards at a beauty shop
[huge crowd reaction]
Rudy: dood i tamed teh evil liberal black hispanic gay nyc and i can do it DC - also i would fire 50% of all federal workers u can get yur mail once a week
Brownback: dood i drive a hybrid can u imagine a Republican saying that proudly a few years ago let me thrown in a stoopid joke about my teenage daughter
Mod: dood thats cold
Thompson: im the veto king
Mod: name three federal things yu would cut
Thompson: i cant
Paul: look at what we can cut FEMA for example
Mod: Yikes
Paul: dood we're borrowing from the Chinese
Mod: dood did u just say u would eliminate Homeland Security in a time of war?!
Paul: yeah why not
Hunter: its sad we dont even make bombs anymore
Tancredo: i can't believe what im hearing all these doods are guilty of all the big spending the federal government should do nothing but defense of teh country
Hume: thanx time for a commerical break - and mr Tancredo its time for yur medication
Wallace: john edwards is teh looser
Gilmore: Mitt and Rudy are big phonies
Wallace: dood you supported gays, gun control, and Maaaarioooo Cuooomooo
Rudy: look i may be really weird but Hillary is going to boil xian babies in the white house
Wallace: answer my question r u teh phony
Rudy: George Will likes me
Wallace: ted kennedy is yur BFF
McCain: dood he has an awesome yacht and teh best liquor cabinet ive ever seen
Wallace: ok
McCain: look i wouldn't trust Lorelei over there to feed my cat much less take down Osama
Huckabee: yeah i raised taxes but dood the Supreme Court told me to
Wallace: what a wimp
Mitt: sure i acted liberal but trust me deep down im a trogdolyte Massachusetts is so blue its black
Wallace: okaaay
Brownback: teh problem with illegal immigration is that people come in teh country illegally
[ding ding]
Thompson: we invented frozen embryos in teh vast frozen tundra of Wisconsin
Rudy: there are millions of americans who make teh choice of abortion and u have to respect that in a democracy
Huckabee: the fact that when a sperm and egg meet they create a person in the central fact of being an american and that's why were go looking for boy souts and put miners in defective mines which al qaeda would never do
Brownback: let me point to my fictional uterus to argue that embryos are beautiful children of a loving god wow im tearing up
Romney: ive always loved the little fetuses but was pro-choice but then the gays and liberals in massachusetts started proposing rack upon rack of human farms i changed my mind
Mod: wow dood are u sure that wasn't an L Ron Hubbard book
McCain: we're really close to an immigration bill heck im from Arizona its illegals central
Mitt: the beauty of my plan is that it makes no sense at all
Wallace: i dont follow
Mitt: no one can criticize it its faaaabulous
McCain: dood yur a flip-flopper
Mitt: poopyhead
Rudy: im not soft on anything im running as a fascist
Mod: what's the answer
Rudy: a big fence and make every immigrant deal with the DMV
Hunter: we should build a big fence and then another bigger one behind that one
[ applause ]
Ron Paul: i come from the strong line of isolationists in teh republican party
Mod: but 9/11 9/11 9/11
Paul: dood why do u think 9/11 happened because we're always up in their business and their face
Rudy: hes saying that america invited the 9/11 attacks and that's terrible now u take that back
[thunderous applause]
Paul: dood we overthrew teh Shah they dont hate us for our freedom they wanted us to go to iraq so they could kill americans and guess what we did and they are
Rudy: may i go over there and punch him
Mod: no
Rudy: fuck
Mod: confederate flag
[audience boos ]
McCain: fuck you
Tancredo: for every scientist who sez global warming theres one who sez there isn't - oh and i just wanted to say to ron paul that its part of the islamic religion to attack america
Hume: when we come back we play "24"
Brit Hume: wow ok here's a really really detailed fictional disaster scenario but the real question is would u torture a prisoner
McCain: yes i would but we should never do it because we do not torture - u know i was tortured its about america - read teh army field manual its all in there
Hume: dood if you don't say u favor torture i will toss you off this stage right now
[throws pen down angily]
Guiliani: i would tell teh interrrogators to let their imaginations go wild
[ wild applause ]
Romney: i would deny them lawyers in fact i would double the size of Gitmo its faaaaaaabulous
Hume: dood tone it down
Hume: imagine a nightmare scenario in teh Dark Continent
Thompon: Colin Powell is black u know and if there is a country anywhere hostile to us if they're brown we should kill them!
Brownback: not only would i not go to the U.N. for authorization i would bomb Africa and then i would bomb the U.N.
Hunter: yur all wimps i would start torturing liberals then random people then the detainees in Gitmo
Gilmore: i would go to the U.N but just to tell them to fuck off
McCain: jesus christ yur all wannabe heroes
[applause]
Hume: what if a shopping center was hit
Romney: oh nooooooo!!!!
Hume: will no one here take my hint and declare marital law and outlaw the Democratic party???
Huckabee: lets use the word murder and sacrifice
Paul: if america was attacked again i would cut spending
Hume: ok
Paul: terms like 'enhanced interrogation technique' are Orwellian
Tancredo: okay i am just really freaking out right now listening to this you're all acting like this is fictional - i would tell Jack Bauer to throw the Constitution out the window because we are teh last best hope of western civilization
Hume: no more questions for u
Wallace: ok i am going to give u a really really really easy question do u wish there were more minorities voting Republican?
Gilmore: no fuck 'em if they can't be bothered to join teh GOP
Romney: i luv school testing and kids luv it too - thats civil rights
Hunter: China is buying weapons designed to kill Americans!!!!
Hume: Well thats it i want to thank all the candidates for scaring the shit out of everyone tonight - good night now im going to go hide under my bed
***************************************************************************************
******************************************************************************************
Our contestants tonight include a methodist, a couple of baptists, a catholic who's been married three times, a kansan with 5 children, and a mormon whose hobbies include scientology, magic underwear and sculpting his hair.
Let's get to it!
Brit Hume: Iraq
McCain: read Osama bin Laden's new book - seriously, it's good it lays out of lot of good ideas on how take over iraq
Thompson (Tommy, not Fred): dood i studied for this debate look i even memorized how many soliders have been killed
Hume: yeah but that over an hour ago
Thompson: damm
Mitt: i'm here tonight to project success not failure look dood all teh muslims are all united the sunni and shiia and buddhist want to bring down the united states government
Chris Wallace: wow
Brownback: we're losing because of liberal bloggers aren't behind teh war - dood harry reid has stabbed us all in the back
Wallace: solution
Brownback: teh Articles of Confederation were great we should try it in iraq
Wallace: how evil are democrats
Guiliani: they're the worst evilness in teh history of warfare
Wallace: will tehy follow us here
Rudy: dood thank god in Fort Dix teh FBI caught that guy they sent to those doods to offer to sell them machine guns
Tancredo: dood should we have constabulary force
Wallace: no because this isn't 18th century london dood
Tancredo: as president i will make no decisions but i will cheer teh troops as they are killed
Ron Paul: dood i tried to offer a declaration of war in 2002 and guess what the hawks said no
Wallace: Reagan was the best
Paul: Reagan turned and ran cause he found out the Middle East was not in the hollywood hills
Duncan Hunter: one of us will be commander in chief in a few months
Wallace: dood do u know something we dont
Huckabee: i dont know much about foreign policy but i will get good advice like from jesus
Lorelei Gilmore: we have no choice now but offer very strong empty platitudes on Iran - next thing you know Egypt will get the bomb and then maybe Israel
Moderator: dood yur "flip flop mitt"
Romney: read my hair no new taxes
Mod: i like it
Romney: im going to cut unnecessary waste and spending
Mod: wow never head that before
McCain: if we dont keep teh tax cuts all the little farmers will have to recalculate and they're not too smart
Mod: dont repeate the drunker sailor story dood
McCain: oh yes i will u cant stop me
Mod: dood way to prove yur not senile
Huckabee: Americans are not smart enough to know the taxes they're paying we spend like John Edwards at a beauty shop
[huge crowd reaction]
Rudy: dood i tamed teh evil liberal black hispanic gay nyc and i can do it DC - also i would fire 50% of all federal workers u can get yur mail once a week
Brownback: dood i drive a hybrid can u imagine a Republican saying that proudly a few years ago let me thrown in a stoopid joke about my teenage daughter
Mod: dood thats cold
Thompson: im the veto king
Mod: name three federal things yu would cut
Thompson: i cant
Paul: look at what we can cut FEMA for example
Mod: Yikes
Paul: dood we're borrowing from the Chinese
Mod: dood did u just say u would eliminate Homeland Security in a time of war?!
Paul: yeah why not
Hunter: its sad we dont even make bombs anymore
Tancredo: i can't believe what im hearing all these doods are guilty of all the big spending the federal government should do nothing but defense of teh country
Hume: thanx time for a commerical break - and mr Tancredo its time for yur medication
Wallace: john edwards is teh looser
Gilmore: Mitt and Rudy are big phonies
Wallace: dood you supported gays, gun control, and Maaaarioooo Cuooomooo
Rudy: look i may be really weird but Hillary is going to boil xian babies in the white house
Wallace: answer my question r u teh phony
Rudy: George Will likes me
Wallace: ted kennedy is yur BFF
McCain: dood he has an awesome yacht and teh best liquor cabinet ive ever seen
Wallace: ok
McCain: look i wouldn't trust Lorelei over there to feed my cat much less take down Osama
Huckabee: yeah i raised taxes but dood the Supreme Court told me to
Wallace: what a wimp
Mitt: sure i acted liberal but trust me deep down im a trogdolyte Massachusetts is so blue its black
Wallace: okaaay
Brownback: teh problem with illegal immigration is that people come in teh country illegally
[ding ding]
Thompson: we invented frozen embryos in teh vast frozen tundra of Wisconsin
Rudy: there are millions of americans who make teh choice of abortion and u have to respect that in a democracy
Huckabee: the fact that when a sperm and egg meet they create a person in the central fact of being an american and that's why were go looking for boy souts and put miners in defective mines which al qaeda would never do
Brownback: let me point to my fictional uterus to argue that embryos are beautiful children of a loving god wow im tearing up
Romney: ive always loved the little fetuses but was pro-choice but then the gays and liberals in massachusetts started proposing rack upon rack of human farms i changed my mind
Mod: wow dood are u sure that wasn't an L Ron Hubbard book
McCain: we're really close to an immigration bill heck im from Arizona its illegals central
Mitt: the beauty of my plan is that it makes no sense at all
Wallace: i dont follow
Mitt: no one can criticize it its faaaabulous
McCain: dood yur a flip-flopper
Mitt: poopyhead
Rudy: im not soft on anything im running as a fascist
Mod: what's the answer
Rudy: a big fence and make every immigrant deal with the DMV
Hunter: we should build a big fence and then another bigger one behind that one
[ applause ]
Ron Paul: i come from the strong line of isolationists in teh republican party
Mod: but 9/11 9/11 9/11
Paul: dood why do u think 9/11 happened because we're always up in their business and their face
Rudy: hes saying that america invited the 9/11 attacks and that's terrible now u take that back
[thunderous applause]
Paul: dood we overthrew teh Shah they dont hate us for our freedom they wanted us to go to iraq so they could kill americans and guess what we did and they are
Rudy: may i go over there and punch him
Mod: no
Rudy: fuck
Mod: confederate flag
[audience boos ]
McCain: fuck you
Tancredo: for every scientist who sez global warming theres one who sez there isn't - oh and i just wanted to say to ron paul that its part of the islamic religion to attack america
Hume: when we come back we play "24"
Brit Hume: wow ok here's a really really detailed fictional disaster scenario but the real question is would u torture a prisoner
McCain: yes i would but we should never do it because we do not torture - u know i was tortured its about america - read teh army field manual its all in there
Hume: dood if you don't say u favor torture i will toss you off this stage right now
[throws pen down angily]
Guiliani: i would tell teh interrrogators to let their imaginations go wild
[ wild applause ]
Romney: i would deny them lawyers in fact i would double the size of Gitmo its faaaaaaabulous
Hume: dood tone it down
Hume: imagine a nightmare scenario in teh Dark Continent
Thompon: Colin Powell is black u know and if there is a country anywhere hostile to us if they're brown we should kill them!
Brownback: not only would i not go to the U.N. for authorization i would bomb Africa and then i would bomb the U.N.
Hunter: yur all wimps i would start torturing liberals then random people then the detainees in Gitmo
Gilmore: i would go to the U.N but just to tell them to fuck off
McCain: jesus christ yur all wannabe heroes
[applause]
Hume: what if a shopping center was hit
Romney: oh nooooooo!!!!
Hume: will no one here take my hint and declare marital law and outlaw the Democratic party???
Huckabee: lets use the word murder and sacrifice
Paul: if america was attacked again i would cut spending
Hume: ok
Paul: terms like 'enhanced interrogation technique' are Orwellian
Tancredo: okay i am just really freaking out right now listening to this you're all acting like this is fictional - i would tell Jack Bauer to throw the Constitution out the window because we are teh last best hope of western civilization
Hume: no more questions for u
Wallace: ok i am going to give u a really really really easy question do u wish there were more minorities voting Republican?
Gilmore: no fuck 'em if they can't be bothered to join teh GOP
Romney: i luv school testing and kids luv it too - thats civil rights
Hunter: China is buying weapons designed to kill Americans!!!!
Hume: Well thats it i want to thank all the candidates for scaring the shit out of everyone tonight - good night now im going to go hide under my bed
***************************************************************************************
Sunday, May 13, 2007
The Chris Matthews Show - May 13, 2007
The Chris Matthews Show - May 13, 2007
***************************************************************************************************
Matthews: Republicans revolting on teh Preznit
David Gregory: they told him u have no credibility
Casey Stengel: Bushies think they're all wimps after all Hoover is a hero now
Katty Kay: hes a total mental case
Cynthia Tucker: he has a messiah complex - god told him to keep us in iraq with too few troops to succeed
Kay: hes teh Commander Guy
Stengel: Mitt Romney's gonna run as teh guy who thinks the war was badly managed and he can do better after all he ran teh Olympics and Duane Reed
Matthews: teh drugstore is dangerous
Gregory: yeah but was war a bad idea or just badly managed
Matthews: uh yeah
Gregory: no one is talking about the real question which is if we stop teh war in Iraq who do we go to war with next after all we must be at war at all times
Matthews: who made u an expert on teh middle east dood
Kay: but teh base still luvs Bush
Tucker: GOP base are impervious to teh facts shut up about the war
Matthews: i still luv McCain
Gregory: dood he'll stick with Bush
Kay: Tony Bliar is loathed in Britain because he is seen as Bush's poodle
Mattthews: yeah none of the other dogs want to sniff Barney's butt anymore its sad
Gregory: yeah but Blair was right about everything we must crush the middle east infidels!!!
Matthews: i luv teh movies!!!
[shows clip: "David Beckham, Harry Potter, teh Beatles, Bush is a bully"]
Kay: Chris yur crying over "Love Actually" yur so fucking weird dood
Gregory: i was hanging with the queen and I kissed the royal jewels and dood they're real and they're spectacular
Tucker: The Generals are hating on Bush
Stengel: Fred McGruff gave a bad speech
Matthews: Nooooooo!!!!!!!
Matthews: graduation advice
Kay: Travel see the world
Matthews: i luv Aussies
Gregory: thank teh people who allowed you to become teh whore u are today someday u might get to meet teh queen
Tucker: dont run up credit card debt
Matthews: boooorrrriiing!!!
Stengel: dont follow yur bliss study science
Matthews: dood yur with Time magazine
Stengel: ok smart dood - whats yur advice
Matthews: dont ever let anyone tell you mental illness is a barrier to hosting 2 tv shows if thats yur dream
************************************************************************************************
***************************************************************************************************
Matthews: Republicans revolting on teh Preznit
David Gregory: they told him u have no credibility
Casey Stengel: Bushies think they're all wimps after all Hoover is a hero now
Katty Kay: hes a total mental case
Cynthia Tucker: he has a messiah complex - god told him to keep us in iraq with too few troops to succeed
Kay: hes teh Commander Guy
Stengel: Mitt Romney's gonna run as teh guy who thinks the war was badly managed and he can do better after all he ran teh Olympics and Duane Reed
Matthews: teh drugstore is dangerous
Gregory: yeah but was war a bad idea or just badly managed
Matthews: uh yeah
Gregory: no one is talking about the real question which is if we stop teh war in Iraq who do we go to war with next after all we must be at war at all times
Matthews: who made u an expert on teh middle east dood
Kay: but teh base still luvs Bush
Tucker: GOP base are impervious to teh facts shut up about the war
Matthews: i still luv McCain
Gregory: dood he'll stick with Bush
Kay: Tony Bliar is loathed in Britain because he is seen as Bush's poodle
Mattthews: yeah none of the other dogs want to sniff Barney's butt anymore its sad
Gregory: yeah but Blair was right about everything we must crush the middle east infidels!!!
Matthews: i luv teh movies!!!
[shows clip: "David Beckham, Harry Potter, teh Beatles, Bush is a bully"]
Kay: Chris yur crying over "Love Actually" yur so fucking weird dood
Gregory: i was hanging with the queen and I kissed the royal jewels and dood they're real and they're spectacular
Tucker: The Generals are hating on Bush
Stengel: Fred McGruff gave a bad speech
Matthews: Nooooooo!!!!!!!
Matthews: graduation advice
Kay: Travel see the world
Matthews: i luv Aussies
Gregory: thank teh people who allowed you to become teh whore u are today someday u might get to meet teh queen
Tucker: dont run up credit card debt
Matthews: boooorrrriiing!!!
Stengel: dont follow yur bliss study science
Matthews: dood yur with Time magazine
Stengel: ok smart dood - whats yur advice
Matthews: dont ever let anyone tell you mental illness is a barrier to hosting 2 tv shows if thats yur dream
************************************************************************************************
Meet The Press - May 13, 2007
Meet The Press - May 13, 2007
******************************************************************************************
Russert: dood teh American people think the Iraq war was a mistake
McCain: well you know the American people think failure is teh suck
Russert: well why not
McCain: yeah but teh people dont get teh consequences of failure
Russert: teh people hate u and yur policies
McCain: kurds, turks, Saudis will go to war and then we'll have to partition bedrooms in Iraq if we do that they'll follow us in to American bedrooms
Timmeh: wow
McCain: i luv shock and awe but its true bush is a terrible president and it was all mismanaged - for that i blame Donald Rumsfeld
Timmeh: but not Bush of course
McCain: at the time we went to war given what the British said we had to invade iraq
Timmeh: thats it?
MCcain: also the Oil-for-Food program was breaking down
Timmeh: yur joking right
McCain: hey if we had known we'd fail well sure you wouldn't invade
Timmy: sorry yur confusing me
McCain: Al Qaeda is in Baghdad but we're making progress they're in other areas too
Timmeh: excellent but iraqi parliament wants us to leave
McCain: yeah but its in our interest to honor teh troops by not debating over and over and over again teh stoopit boring Iraq war
Tim: huh?
McCain: fuck the Iraqi parliament
Tim: oh ok
McCain: those fuckers are just playing to their base I’ve had it with this fucking democracy i saw all this in vietnam
Tim: yeah like in Platoon and the Killing Fields
McCain: clearly the democracy in Iraq is undermining our effort to establish a democracy in Iraq
Tim: how the fuck long is it going to take
McCain: well we fought a bloody civil war 100 years after the Revolution in 1776 so you figure it out
Timmeh: Iraqi referendum?
McCain: dood Iraq is too precious to be entrusted to the Iraqi people
Timmeh: who told you that
McCain: saddam hussein - he was pretty smart
Russert: why no Iraqi troops
McCain: it's a little baby democracy we're seeing "signifcant improvement"
Russert: dood that quote will come back to haunt u I guarantee it
McCain: a student of history will tell u we must crush iraq in order to save it
Russert: totally but how
McCain: we now have a totally awesome strategy
Timmeh: jesus h christ dood it's been four years and it's utter chaos
McCain: oh you can't trust the CIA do you realize they wanted us to invade Iraq and that was a really really bad idea
Timmeh: dood exactly what medications are u on???
McCain: i hope someday in teh future Americans will on teh front lines for 60 years but like in Korea hopefully a funny sitcom will be made
Timmeh: my head is spinning
McCain: yeah but in my pie-in-the-sky fantasy everything is great
Timmy: i can see that
McCain: look Timster i get it but we have only just begun this new strategy -- give it a chance to fail
Timmy: yur creepy
McCain: oh just cut off teh funding and starve our troops if u feel that way
Russert: yur so peevish lighten up and get a life
McCain: dood if we pull out of Iraq it will be genocide and America will be occupied by jihadists
Timmeh: is Iraq just like Somalia
McCain: there’s no comparison with Somalia except there was chaos in teh streets -- but Baghdad is vital if we control the Tigris and Euphrates we can control teh world!!!!!!
Tim: yur so optimistic
McCain: thats not fair I’ve been critical a lot heck I’ve flip flopped all the time
[Russert showing McCain in sunglasses and flak jack in Baghdad market]
Timmy: dood here's yur Dukakis moment
McCain: heh yeah
Tim: Sharpshooters, attack helicopters, 100 soldiers
McCain: dood i was there for 1 hour and bought some rugs and thing are better
Tim: but its really dangerous
McCain: see that only proves we have to stay until it's safe!
Tim: dood you are now officially making no sense at all
McCain: I'm not afraid to go anywhere and speak gibberish at any time
Tim: violence has gone up
McCain: see that proves we are winning
McCain: i will return to that market without any protection at all
Tim: oh yeah i'd like to see that
McCain: don't tempt me Tim Russert clearly i'm senile
Tim: GOP ready to give up on Iraq war
McCain: americans sad and frustrated blah blah blah blah even I get tired of saying it
Tim: [ yawn ]
MCain: these people are evil they tortured me in Vietnam!!
Tim: dood yur not having a flashback are u??
Tim: what a bummer you lose to Bush and then lose because you embraced Bush
McCain: i didn't embrace him - i hugged him
Tim: whatever u were his BFF
McCain: life isn't fair whaaaaaa
Tim: yur career is dying
McCain: i consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth
Tim: yur like Lou Gehrig maybe they'll name the disease of political failure after you
McCain: [clenches teeth and laughs] dood immortaility
Timmeh: u used to be pro-immigrant
McCain: no Chertoff is on board we're *this* close to an agreement
Tim: Ted Kennedy is fat
McCain: u should talk
Tim: heh okay
McCain: secure the Broders
Tim: he speaks for teh American people
McCain: he wuz in my living room
Tim: war sacrifice - higher taxes?
McCain: ok this is simple when yur in the GOP you can vote against tax cuts but you can never never ever ever vote to repeal tax cuts because that's "RAISING TAXES"
Tim: oh i see but law and economics sez its all fungible
McCain: sorry i went to Annapolis not teh University of Chicago
Tim: what did they teach you there
McCain: high government spending is very very bad except for military spending which doesn't count
Tim: oh that's very clever so whats the solution
McCain: bridge to nowhere blah blah
Tim: thats bullshit
McCain: ha ha ha
Tim: why do u keep laughing
McCain: its teh nervous habit
Tim: abortion!
McCain: fetuses are teh base of our party
Tim: rove v wade
McCain: we have to have a culture of human rights for uteruses of America
Tim: Citizenship for uteruses?
McCain: maybe white Americans could adopt them i have adopted several myself
Tim: Ethanol?
McCain: i like sugar in my coffee
Tim: what about cream
McCain: once u go black u never go back
Tim: Iowa caucuses caused u to change yur mind?
McCain: i can't respond to that - i am so pure the idea that i would pander has shocked me into silence
McCain: my energy level is great
Russert: dood you could not have shown less energy in this interview if you had been a potted plant
McCain: i hiked the grand canyon like William Henry Harrison
Russert: dood he died
*******************************************************************************************
******************************************************************************************
Russert: dood teh American people think the Iraq war was a mistake
McCain: well you know the American people think failure is teh suck
Russert: well why not
McCain: yeah but teh people dont get teh consequences of failure
Russert: teh people hate u and yur policies
McCain: kurds, turks, Saudis will go to war and then we'll have to partition bedrooms in Iraq if we do that they'll follow us in to American bedrooms
Timmeh: wow
McCain: i luv shock and awe but its true bush is a terrible president and it was all mismanaged - for that i blame Donald Rumsfeld
Timmeh: but not Bush of course
McCain: at the time we went to war given what the British said we had to invade iraq
Timmeh: thats it?
MCcain: also the Oil-for-Food program was breaking down
Timmeh: yur joking right
McCain: hey if we had known we'd fail well sure you wouldn't invade
Timmy: sorry yur confusing me
McCain: Al Qaeda is in Baghdad but we're making progress they're in other areas too
Timmeh: excellent but iraqi parliament wants us to leave
McCain: yeah but its in our interest to honor teh troops by not debating over and over and over again teh stoopit boring Iraq war
Tim: huh?
McCain: fuck the Iraqi parliament
Tim: oh ok
McCain: those fuckers are just playing to their base I’ve had it with this fucking democracy i saw all this in vietnam
Tim: yeah like in Platoon and the Killing Fields
McCain: clearly the democracy in Iraq is undermining our effort to establish a democracy in Iraq
Tim: how the fuck long is it going to take
McCain: well we fought a bloody civil war 100 years after the Revolution in 1776 so you figure it out
Timmeh: Iraqi referendum?
McCain: dood Iraq is too precious to be entrusted to the Iraqi people
Timmeh: who told you that
McCain: saddam hussein - he was pretty smart
Russert: why no Iraqi troops
McCain: it's a little baby democracy we're seeing "signifcant improvement"
Russert: dood that quote will come back to haunt u I guarantee it
McCain: a student of history will tell u we must crush iraq in order to save it
Russert: totally but how
McCain: we now have a totally awesome strategy
Timmeh: jesus h christ dood it's been four years and it's utter chaos
McCain: oh you can't trust the CIA do you realize they wanted us to invade Iraq and that was a really really bad idea
Timmeh: dood exactly what medications are u on???
McCain: i hope someday in teh future Americans will on teh front lines for 60 years but like in Korea hopefully a funny sitcom will be made
Timmeh: my head is spinning
McCain: yeah but in my pie-in-the-sky fantasy everything is great
Timmy: i can see that
McCain: look Timster i get it but we have only just begun this new strategy -- give it a chance to fail
Timmy: yur creepy
McCain: oh just cut off teh funding and starve our troops if u feel that way
Russert: yur so peevish lighten up and get a life
McCain: dood if we pull out of Iraq it will be genocide and America will be occupied by jihadists
Timmeh: is Iraq just like Somalia
McCain: there’s no comparison with Somalia except there was chaos in teh streets -- but Baghdad is vital if we control the Tigris and Euphrates we can control teh world!!!!!!
Tim: yur so optimistic
McCain: thats not fair I’ve been critical a lot heck I’ve flip flopped all the time
[Russert showing McCain in sunglasses and flak jack in Baghdad market]
Timmy: dood here's yur Dukakis moment
McCain: heh yeah
Tim: Sharpshooters, attack helicopters, 100 soldiers
McCain: dood i was there for 1 hour and bought some rugs and thing are better
Tim: but its really dangerous
McCain: see that only proves we have to stay until it's safe!
Tim: dood you are now officially making no sense at all
McCain: I'm not afraid to go anywhere and speak gibberish at any time
Tim: violence has gone up
McCain: see that proves we are winning
McCain: i will return to that market without any protection at all
Tim: oh yeah i'd like to see that
McCain: don't tempt me Tim Russert clearly i'm senile
Tim: GOP ready to give up on Iraq war
McCain: americans sad and frustrated blah blah blah blah even I get tired of saying it
Tim: [ yawn ]
MCain: these people are evil they tortured me in Vietnam!!
Tim: dood yur not having a flashback are u??
Tim: what a bummer you lose to Bush and then lose because you embraced Bush
McCain: i didn't embrace him - i hugged him
Tim: whatever u were his BFF
McCain: life isn't fair whaaaaaa
Tim: yur career is dying
McCain: i consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth
Tim: yur like Lou Gehrig maybe they'll name the disease of political failure after you
McCain: [clenches teeth and laughs] dood immortaility
Timmeh: u used to be pro-immigrant
McCain: no Chertoff is on board we're *this* close to an agreement
Tim: Ted Kennedy is fat
McCain: u should talk
Tim: heh okay
McCain: secure the Broders
Tim: he speaks for teh American people
McCain: he wuz in my living room
Tim: war sacrifice - higher taxes?
McCain: ok this is simple when yur in the GOP you can vote against tax cuts but you can never never ever ever vote to repeal tax cuts because that's "RAISING TAXES"
Tim: oh i see but law and economics sez its all fungible
McCain: sorry i went to Annapolis not teh University of Chicago
Tim: what did they teach you there
McCain: high government spending is very very bad except for military spending which doesn't count
Tim: oh that's very clever so whats the solution
McCain: bridge to nowhere blah blah
Tim: thats bullshit
McCain: ha ha ha
Tim: why do u keep laughing
McCain: its teh nervous habit
Tim: abortion!
McCain: fetuses are teh base of our party
Tim: rove v wade
McCain: we have to have a culture of human rights for uteruses of America
Tim: Citizenship for uteruses?
McCain: maybe white Americans could adopt them i have adopted several myself
Tim: Ethanol?
McCain: i like sugar in my coffee
Tim: what about cream
McCain: once u go black u never go back
Tim: Iowa caucuses caused u to change yur mind?
McCain: i can't respond to that - i am so pure the idea that i would pander has shocked me into silence
McCain: my energy level is great
Russert: dood you could not have shown less energy in this interview if you had been a potted plant
McCain: i hiked the grand canyon like William Henry Harrison
Russert: dood he died
*******************************************************************************************
The McLaughlin Group - May 13, 2007
The McLaughlin Group - May 13, 2007
*******************************************************************************
McLaughlin: US economy bad!
Jay Carney: teh ARM loans turned out to be a bad idea who knew
Freeland: god forbid John Edwards be right but yeah he's right
Tony Blankely: dood we have full employment of shitty jobs but with global warming and disasters home repair stocks are up
Maria Bartiromo: wages for hot-looking tv achors are going up
McLaughlin: Paulson?
Bartiromo: He sez Vietnamese stocks are doing well
McLaughlin: why no foreign investment in U.S.?
Carney: inequality is at all time mid-blowing highs which helps Democrats
Bartiromo: protectionism is bad - Dubai should be allowed to buy U.S. ports whats the harm
Freeland: foreigners think people in American don't like them i wonder where they got that idea
McLaughlin: SOX bad?
Carney: no they're in first place
McLaughlin: no stoopid Sarbanes-Oxley
Bartiromo: Paulson didn't really attack Sox
Carney: dood i resent that i'm as smart as Alan Greenspan
Freeland: why is money so cheap?
Blankley: i agree with Jay - Greenspan is teh man but i'm smart too
Maria: no recession
McLaughlin: Dems tough on Iraq whats up
Bartiromo: Dems are with the people
Blankely: polls says teh people wants to pull out even more than the Dems
Carney: Parliament long vacation would change the conversation at the American kitchen table
McLaughlin: The Iraqi parliament can't agree on anything
Iraqi VP: dood government is hard
Blankley: turns out bombing the shit out of Iraq did not turn it into a democratic paradise so we need a new parliament
Freeland: everyone is trying to blame that bad lazy iraqis
Carney: u can't travel within the Green Zone without flak jackets
McLaughlin: Afghanistan has become a total horror show is this because we have stressed the military
Carney: i dunno but it seems logical
Blankely: oh no this kind of thing happens all the time
Maria: its a tragedy
Freeland: this is insane we're supposed to be there to liberate these people not kill them
Blankley: [whiny voice] we killed a lot of French in WWII
*****************************************************************************************
*******************************************************************************
McLaughlin: US economy bad!
Jay Carney: teh ARM loans turned out to be a bad idea who knew
Freeland: god forbid John Edwards be right but yeah he's right
Tony Blankely: dood we have full employment of shitty jobs but with global warming and disasters home repair stocks are up
Maria Bartiromo: wages for hot-looking tv achors are going up
McLaughlin: Paulson?
Bartiromo: He sez Vietnamese stocks are doing well
McLaughlin: why no foreign investment in U.S.?
Carney: inequality is at all time mid-blowing highs which helps Democrats
Bartiromo: protectionism is bad - Dubai should be allowed to buy U.S. ports whats the harm
Freeland: foreigners think people in American don't like them i wonder where they got that idea
McLaughlin: SOX bad?
Carney: no they're in first place
McLaughlin: no stoopid Sarbanes-Oxley
Bartiromo: Paulson didn't really attack Sox
Carney: dood i resent that i'm as smart as Alan Greenspan
Freeland: why is money so cheap?
Blankley: i agree with Jay - Greenspan is teh man but i'm smart too
Maria: no recession
McLaughlin: Dems tough on Iraq whats up
Bartiromo: Dems are with the people
Blankely: polls says teh people wants to pull out even more than the Dems
Carney: Parliament long vacation would change the conversation at the American kitchen table
McLaughlin: The Iraqi parliament can't agree on anything
Iraqi VP: dood government is hard
Blankley: turns out bombing the shit out of Iraq did not turn it into a democratic paradise so we need a new parliament
Freeland: everyone is trying to blame that bad lazy iraqis
Carney: u can't travel within the Green Zone without flak jackets
McLaughlin: Afghanistan has become a total horror show is this because we have stressed the military
Carney: i dunno but it seems logical
Blankely: oh no this kind of thing happens all the time
Maria: its a tragedy
Freeland: this is insane we're supposed to be there to liberate these people not kill them
Blankley: [whiny voice] we killed a lot of French in WWII
*****************************************************************************************
Hardball, May 11, 2007
Hardball, May 11, 2007
***************************************************************************
Matthews: Iraqi parliament wants us to leave
Eugene Robinson: so why dont we leave
Matthews: its almost like we invaded
Brownstein: amazing that Dems are showing backbone it blows my mind
Matthews: bush isn't afraid of nuttin' - hes like teh cowardly lion
Tumulty: yeah
Matthews: bush is teh commander in chief - he needs no more power - the toothpaste is out of teh tubes
Tumulty: um yeah
Matthews: hes like Harry Truman he wants David McCullough to write a book about maybe call it Loserman
Robinson: he will never give in
Brownstein: Rudy is teh federalist
Matthews: hes jeffersonian - but will the crazies buy it
Tumulty: california is key to this strategy that’s where Rudy can win
Brownstein: no your wrong they're all wingnuts in Orange County
Matthews: i miss that show - that guy was hot
Robinson: calm down dood u still have one tree hill
Matthews: yeah
Robinoson: if abortion is murder why is it ok in California and not Montana
Lisa Myers: witness sez Governor of Nevada Jim Gibbons took bribes
Matthews: whats his evidence
Myers: dood saw teh briefcase full of money and casino chips
Matthews: buy maybe it was only singles
Myers: these were hundreds
Matthews: ok does he have an ax to grind
Myers: hes telling teh truth
Matthews: how can i tell if how old an an e-mail is
Myers: dood thats a science
Matthews: yur teh best
Miklaszewski: general Mixon was blunt - he said were not making any progress in iraq 60 deaths in diayla in 2007
Matthews: dood
Miklaszewski: he needs reinforcements its teh classic story of an empire trying to sieze territory thats not theirs
Matthews: yeah
Miklaszewski: we win in one area and teh insurgents move somewhere else
Matthews: well we always have teh iraqi government
Miklaszewski: oh i forgot Mixon sez they suck
Matthews: so we cant win
Miklaszewski: well militarily of course we need to cross our fingers and hope the iraqi government will solve every problem by September
Matthews: but Bush will just hold some stoopid press conference in September announcing victory is just around teh corner
Miklaszewski: dood its too late the iraqi government is so fucked up they wont even pretend to try
Matthews: its a revoltin’ development im quoting some stoopid cartoon from like 50 years ago
Ron Christie: we GOPers have been pushing for responsibility in Iraq for a long time - oh let me mention al qaeda
Robinson: dood u make me wish i wasn't black
Christie: im here, im weird, get used to it
Robinons: Shiites are going to piss on sunnis because they can
Matthews: Iraqi parliament 2 month vacation in France
Christie: for goodness sake they need to step it up -- u know they asked us to invade and greeted us as liberators the least they could do vote Republican
Matthews: oh shut up
Christie: support our troops and vote GOP
Robinson: what the fuck is victory anyway
Matthews: if they weren't brown we wouldn't be there
Matthews: and we're back with Michael Baschloss -- dood do any of they current candidates have the ability to give me a man-crush
Beschloss: u need more than testosterone u need judgement look at LBJ
Matthews: he wuz watching Patton
Beschloss: JFK supported the civil rights bill because blacks were rioting
Matthews: so what
Beschloss: but also he showed courage Dems lost the South
Matthews: Reagan sat down with Gorby
Beschloss: funny story - he though Gorby wuz Jack Benny
Matthews: will David McCullough write a book about Bush saying hez a hero
Beschloss: hell be dead first
Matthews: buy Beschloss's book for yur mother then she'll never call you again
Matthews: and we're back with a guy bashing Bush on teh war -- we were promised cheap gas dammmit
Hormats: yeah teh bush administration lied
Matthews: gee im shocked
Hormats: it was teh inconceivable
Matthews: so did we even try to get some $$$ from iraq
Hormats: dood unless u take rubble as currency i think you’re outta luck
Matthews: well i am from Philly
Hormats: u know Preznits used to tell teh truth about cost and sacrifice
Matthews: i miss FDR and WWII
Hormats: yeah bush hasn't even tried to get Americans involved in this war
Matthews: i beginning to think this war was a mistake
************************************************************************************
***************************************************************************
Matthews: Iraqi parliament wants us to leave
Eugene Robinson: so why dont we leave
Matthews: its almost like we invaded
Brownstein: amazing that Dems are showing backbone it blows my mind
Matthews: bush isn't afraid of nuttin' - hes like teh cowardly lion
Tumulty: yeah
Matthews: bush is teh commander in chief - he needs no more power - the toothpaste is out of teh tubes
Tumulty: um yeah
Matthews: hes like Harry Truman he wants David McCullough to write a book about maybe call it Loserman
Robinson: he will never give in
Brownstein: Rudy is teh federalist
Matthews: hes jeffersonian - but will the crazies buy it
Tumulty: california is key to this strategy that’s where Rudy can win
Brownstein: no your wrong they're all wingnuts in Orange County
Matthews: i miss that show - that guy was hot
Robinson: calm down dood u still have one tree hill
Matthews: yeah
Robinoson: if abortion is murder why is it ok in California and not Montana
Lisa Myers: witness sez Governor of Nevada Jim Gibbons took bribes
Matthews: whats his evidence
Myers: dood saw teh briefcase full of money and casino chips
Matthews: buy maybe it was only singles
Myers: these were hundreds
Matthews: ok does he have an ax to grind
Myers: hes telling teh truth
Matthews: how can i tell if how old an an e-mail is
Myers: dood thats a science
Matthews: yur teh best
Miklaszewski: general Mixon was blunt - he said were not making any progress in iraq 60 deaths in diayla in 2007
Matthews: dood
Miklaszewski: he needs reinforcements its teh classic story of an empire trying to sieze territory thats not theirs
Matthews: yeah
Miklaszewski: we win in one area and teh insurgents move somewhere else
Matthews: well we always have teh iraqi government
Miklaszewski: oh i forgot Mixon sez they suck
Matthews: so we cant win
Miklaszewski: well militarily of course we need to cross our fingers and hope the iraqi government will solve every problem by September
Matthews: but Bush will just hold some stoopid press conference in September announcing victory is just around teh corner
Miklaszewski: dood its too late the iraqi government is so fucked up they wont even pretend to try
Matthews: its a revoltin’ development im quoting some stoopid cartoon from like 50 years ago
Ron Christie: we GOPers have been pushing for responsibility in Iraq for a long time - oh let me mention al qaeda
Robinson: dood u make me wish i wasn't black
Christie: im here, im weird, get used to it
Robinons: Shiites are going to piss on sunnis because they can
Matthews: Iraqi parliament 2 month vacation in France
Christie: for goodness sake they need to step it up -- u know they asked us to invade and greeted us as liberators the least they could do vote Republican
Matthews: oh shut up
Christie: support our troops and vote GOP
Robinson: what the fuck is victory anyway
Matthews: if they weren't brown we wouldn't be there
Matthews: and we're back with Michael Baschloss -- dood do any of they current candidates have the ability to give me a man-crush
Beschloss: u need more than testosterone u need judgement look at LBJ
Matthews: he wuz watching Patton
Beschloss: JFK supported the civil rights bill because blacks were rioting
Matthews: so what
Beschloss: but also he showed courage Dems lost the South
Matthews: Reagan sat down with Gorby
Beschloss: funny story - he though Gorby wuz Jack Benny
Matthews: will David McCullough write a book about Bush saying hez a hero
Beschloss: hell be dead first
Matthews: buy Beschloss's book for yur mother then she'll never call you again
Matthews: and we're back with a guy bashing Bush on teh war -- we were promised cheap gas dammmit
Hormats: yeah teh bush administration lied
Matthews: gee im shocked
Hormats: it was teh inconceivable
Matthews: so did we even try to get some $$$ from iraq
Hormats: dood unless u take rubble as currency i think you’re outta luck
Matthews: well i am from Philly
Hormats: u know Preznits used to tell teh truth about cost and sacrifice
Matthews: i miss FDR and WWII
Hormats: yeah bush hasn't even tried to get Americans involved in this war
Matthews: i beginning to think this war was a mistake
************************************************************************************
The McLaughlin Group, May 6, 2007
The McLaughlin Group, May 6, 2007
Pat Buchanan: Pelosi and Reid are going to cave in
Clift: Bush is going to have to cave himself on something
Freeland: in the debate GOP all agreed that war is a disaster
Blankley: i'm very concerned about the democrats and they might not stick with the lefties
Clift: surge will fail in September
McLaughlin: May 2007 is the big turning point
Buchanan: no September is
Clift: Pat Buchanan is right, September is it and Maliki government is teh suck
Blankely: this is all phony Eleanor is right because remember Democrats want America to fail
McL: how do we jigger reality
John McLaughlin: Reagan-love what's up
Buchanan: Reagan was the best senile bad actor as President we've ever had
McL: who won the debate
Pat Buchanan: Romney won - Rudy lost
Clift: it was teh Gong Show these guys could not suck any more
Pat: ha ha you're right
Clift: three of them don't even believe in evolution
Pat: no Four!!! ha ha ha
Blankely: these guys are in plenty in touch with American people
CLift: the earth is not 6,000 days old dood
Blank: i'm talking about terrorism Eleanor you belong to a liberal anti-american cult
Clift: i'm laughing at your petty insults
Blank: Politico asked a bunch of liberal questions
McLaughlin: Winner was Ron Paul
McL: Is there a hex on Wolfie - he wrecked American defense and now the World Bank
Blankley: he should be fired we can't support this petty corruption even though i luv he big lug
Pat: i hate him he should be fired
Clift: amen
Blankely: u can't frame a guilty man in other words he should be fired
McLaughlin: yep
Predictions!!!
Pat Buchanan: Sarkozy wins
WSJ writer: Rupert will buy the Wall St. Journal
Clift: Tommy Thompson will drop out
McLaughlin: Imus will be back!
******************************************************************************
Pat Buchanan: Pelosi and Reid are going to cave in
Clift: Bush is going to have to cave himself on something
Freeland: in the debate GOP all agreed that war is a disaster
Blankley: i'm very concerned about the democrats and they might not stick with the lefties
Clift: surge will fail in September
McLaughlin: May 2007 is the big turning point
Buchanan: no September is
Clift: Pat Buchanan is right, September is it and Maliki government is teh suck
Blankely: this is all phony Eleanor is right because remember Democrats want America to fail
McL: how do we jigger reality
John McLaughlin: Reagan-love what's up
Buchanan: Reagan was the best senile bad actor as President we've ever had
McL: who won the debate
Pat Buchanan: Romney won - Rudy lost
Clift: it was teh Gong Show these guys could not suck any more
Pat: ha ha you're right
Clift: three of them don't even believe in evolution
Pat: no Four!!! ha ha ha
Blankely: these guys are in plenty in touch with American people
CLift: the earth is not 6,000 days old dood
Blank: i'm talking about terrorism Eleanor you belong to a liberal anti-american cult
Clift: i'm laughing at your petty insults
Blank: Politico asked a bunch of liberal questions
McLaughlin: Winner was Ron Paul
McL: Is there a hex on Wolfie - he wrecked American defense and now the World Bank
Blankley: he should be fired we can't support this petty corruption even though i luv he big lug
Pat: i hate him he should be fired
Clift: amen
Blankely: u can't frame a guilty man in other words he should be fired
McLaughlin: yep
Predictions!!!
Pat Buchanan: Sarkozy wins
WSJ writer: Rupert will buy the Wall St. Journal
Clift: Tommy Thompson will drop out
McLaughlin: Imus will be back!
******************************************************************************
Meet The Press, May 6, 2007
Meet The Press, May 6, 2007
Russert: Slam-Dunk how are you this morning
Tenet: thats not my name
Tim: Should I call you Slammy?
Tenet: I prefer Mr. Dunk
Tim: ok Dunky Cheney sez Bush invaded Iraq because you told him to
Tenet: we believed Saddam had teh weapons and we were wrong - but Bush would have invaded anyway
Timmy: that may be true but you weren't the pizza delivery boy
Tenet: No that was Andy Card
Timmy: you were teh head of the CIA!
Tenet: dood Bush wasn't skeptical one minute and a believer the next you're being snowed yet again
Tim: Dunk-man why were you helping to market the war?
Tenet: i had to be there every step of the way to prevent the white house from lying and manipulating the intelligence the Powell speech the White House wrote was full of lies
Russert: Slammy, you thought the war was quote crazy - did you crazy like a "wow a crazy-good idea" or ‘crazy’ like “whoa dood this Bush guy is craaaaazy?”
Slam Dunk: i thought it was a bad idea but i didn't have strong feelings about it - if i had said anything i would been dwelling the realm of policy and what do i know - its not like i was the PR man for a baseball team
Russert: so 3,300 americans dead, middle east civil war, 100,000 iraqis dead, US national security in peril….
Tenet: i'm not a hero here
Tim: so Slammy, Cheney was going around lying
Tenet: well u should really read my book - but yeah that was my fault
Tim: But Dunk everyone was lying
Tenet: i'm not perfect
Tim: they said we know where the weapons are
Salmmy: i was very busy that week i was trying to lose weight and American Idol was having a good season
Russert: mushroom cloud?
Dunky: i thought Bush was ordering a pizza
Russert: r u an enabler
Tenet: well they aren't very able, so no
Timmy: u got everything wrong
Tenet: was everything right? no
Timmy: nice pink tie - message?
SlamDunk: im coming out
Tim: gay?
Slam: no just anti-Bush - its very cathartic
Timmster: British sez we fixed intelligence and lied about al-qaeda
Slam-Dunk: true but in our subconscious we didn't think that - that was only what I wrote in an official letter to Congress
Russert: Your report deceived the American people
TenetSlam: i didn't cook the books i would say rather we served the lies cold like that Klingon proverb
Tim: Blaming Saddam for 9/11
Tenet: hey i told Bush and Cheney that was crap what am i supposed to do - have them mouths taped shut
Tim: dood that would have helped
Slammy: i took the 16 words out of a Bush speech and they kept getting put back in
Tim: in Cinncinati
Slam: yeah
Tenet: it was my fault i never read or saw Bush's state of the union speech - i was the designated cabinet member to watch the 'Friends' finale that night
Rusert: where did the Niger thing come from?
Slam Dunk: i have no idea but it rhymes with Chick Deney
Tim: Colin Powell lied
Tenet: yeah i let him down
Russert: let me read preemptively from a letter sent to us from Richard Perle which we never usually do except for neocon nuts
Russert: dood i got the day wrong but Perle is still crazy
Timmeh: June of 2001 - Osama is about to attack
Tenet: yarp
Temeh: July of 2001 briefer sez ‘they're coming here’
Slam Dunk: it had no texture
Timmeh: words like "spectacular", ‘bin laden determined to attack’….
Dunk: yeah I remember that summer teh Yankess and Sox were in a tight race
Tim: u rode in Bush's pickup truck - did the subject of terror ever come up
Slammy: you can go back a look and say we could have done more really it's Bil Clinton's fault
Tim: But Bill Clinton stopped attacks
Slammy: see that's what i talking about he makes us all look bad by being so successful
Russert: Franks, Bremer, Tenet all got the medal of Medal of Freedom - that’s a trifecta of stupid
Slam: i will not give it back - i got it on behalf of other people
Russert: terrorists with nukes?
Salm: we should move heaven & earth
Russert: except for AQ Kahn
Slammy: Khaaaaaaaann!!!!!
Rusert: do u even know what day it is?
Dunk: Sept 12
Timmeh: dood we’re done
*********************************************************************************
Russert: Slam-Dunk how are you this morning
Tenet: thats not my name
Tim: Should I call you Slammy?
Tenet: I prefer Mr. Dunk
Tim: ok Dunky Cheney sez Bush invaded Iraq because you told him to
Tenet: we believed Saddam had teh weapons and we were wrong - but Bush would have invaded anyway
Timmy: that may be true but you weren't the pizza delivery boy
Tenet: No that was Andy Card
Timmy: you were teh head of the CIA!
Tenet: dood Bush wasn't skeptical one minute and a believer the next you're being snowed yet again
Tim: Dunk-man why were you helping to market the war?
Tenet: i had to be there every step of the way to prevent the white house from lying and manipulating the intelligence the Powell speech the White House wrote was full of lies
Russert: Slammy, you thought the war was quote crazy - did you crazy like a "wow a crazy-good idea" or ‘crazy’ like “whoa dood this Bush guy is craaaaazy?”
Slam Dunk: i thought it was a bad idea but i didn't have strong feelings about it - if i had said anything i would been dwelling the realm of policy and what do i know - its not like i was the PR man for a baseball team
Russert: so 3,300 americans dead, middle east civil war, 100,000 iraqis dead, US national security in peril….
Tenet: i'm not a hero here
Tim: so Slammy, Cheney was going around lying
Tenet: well u should really read my book - but yeah that was my fault
Tim: But Dunk everyone was lying
Tenet: i'm not perfect
Tim: they said we know where the weapons are
Salmmy: i was very busy that week i was trying to lose weight and American Idol was having a good season
Russert: mushroom cloud?
Dunky: i thought Bush was ordering a pizza
Russert: r u an enabler
Tenet: well they aren't very able, so no
Timmy: u got everything wrong
Tenet: was everything right? no
Timmy: nice pink tie - message?
SlamDunk: im coming out
Tim: gay?
Slam: no just anti-Bush - its very cathartic
Timmster: British sez we fixed intelligence and lied about al-qaeda
Slam-Dunk: true but in our subconscious we didn't think that - that was only what I wrote in an official letter to Congress
Russert: Your report deceived the American people
TenetSlam: i didn't cook the books i would say rather we served the lies cold like that Klingon proverb
Tim: Blaming Saddam for 9/11
Tenet: hey i told Bush and Cheney that was crap what am i supposed to do - have them mouths taped shut
Tim: dood that would have helped
Slammy: i took the 16 words out of a Bush speech and they kept getting put back in
Tim: in Cinncinati
Slam: yeah
Tenet: it was my fault i never read or saw Bush's state of the union speech - i was the designated cabinet member to watch the 'Friends' finale that night
Rusert: where did the Niger thing come from?
Slam Dunk: i have no idea but it rhymes with Chick Deney
Tim: Colin Powell lied
Tenet: yeah i let him down
Russert: let me read preemptively from a letter sent to us from Richard Perle which we never usually do except for neocon nuts
Russert: dood i got the day wrong but Perle is still crazy
Timmeh: June of 2001 - Osama is about to attack
Tenet: yarp
Temeh: July of 2001 briefer sez ‘they're coming here’
Slam Dunk: it had no texture
Timmeh: words like "spectacular", ‘bin laden determined to attack’….
Dunk: yeah I remember that summer teh Yankess and Sox were in a tight race
Tim: u rode in Bush's pickup truck - did the subject of terror ever come up
Slammy: you can go back a look and say we could have done more really it's Bil Clinton's fault
Tim: But Bill Clinton stopped attacks
Slammy: see that's what i talking about he makes us all look bad by being so successful
Russert: Franks, Bremer, Tenet all got the medal of Medal of Freedom - that’s a trifecta of stupid
Slam: i will not give it back - i got it on behalf of other people
Russert: terrorists with nukes?
Salm: we should move heaven & earth
Russert: except for AQ Kahn
Slammy: Khaaaaaaaann!!!!!
Rusert: do u even know what day it is?
Dunk: Sept 12
Timmeh: dood we’re done
*********************************************************************************
The Chris Matthews Show, May 6, 2007
The Chris Matthews Show, May 6, 2007
*******************************************************************************
Matthews: are teh GOP stuck
Borger: how do u ask for a 3d term when people hate u???
DuffMan: i still think GOP will do the right thing and get sensible on Iraq in six months
Parker, WaPo: on Labor Day they will see reality
Ignatius: let me continue the fantasy that McCain will change his mind in September
Borger: doods what is yur obsession with September
Ignatuius: the moon will be in teh 7th house
Matthews: is 100 dead too much
Ignatius: 50 dead in one day would be like Tet
Matthews: Iran war -- what's the tripwire can we stop yet another war in the middle east???
Parker: not unless Iran endorses the GOP in 2008
Matthews: but that probably won't happen
Panel: Mitt won the debate
Borger: he was best in show he had everything we want in a President -- he was glib
Parker: yes he was funny i liked it when he said Chris Matthews was full of crap
Matthews: i liked Rudy teh fascist but he didn't blow any trumpets i was bummed
Ignatius: Presidential candidates who believe adam and eve rode dinosaurs to church is very amusing heh heh
Panel: Fred Thompson Rocks!!
Matthews: whats up the with Internets and blogospheres
[shows mocking videos]
Matthews: whoa!
Matthews: why did Tenet not bring Osama info to Bush in August of 2001
Ignatius: dood in 2001 he was trying to bond with Bush he was walking on eggshells he hacked some brush in Texas but he still hadn't gotten a nickname
Borger: the administration cherry-picked
Matthews: they lied
Borger: he wasn't in teh "In Crowd" -- they would all party after school and they didn't invite Tenet - he was at home playing with his CIA toys
Matthews: thats sad
Duffy: then they hung him out to dry
Matthews: whoa mean girlz
************************************************************************************
*******************************************************************************
Matthews: are teh GOP stuck
Borger: how do u ask for a 3d term when people hate u???
DuffMan: i still think GOP will do the right thing and get sensible on Iraq in six months
Parker, WaPo: on Labor Day they will see reality
Ignatius: let me continue the fantasy that McCain will change his mind in September
Borger: doods what is yur obsession with September
Ignatuius: the moon will be in teh 7th house
Matthews: is 100 dead too much
Ignatius: 50 dead in one day would be like Tet
Matthews: Iran war -- what's the tripwire can we stop yet another war in the middle east???
Parker: not unless Iran endorses the GOP in 2008
Matthews: but that probably won't happen
Panel: Mitt won the debate
Borger: he was best in show he had everything we want in a President -- he was glib
Parker: yes he was funny i liked it when he said Chris Matthews was full of crap
Matthews: i liked Rudy teh fascist but he didn't blow any trumpets i was bummed
Ignatius: Presidential candidates who believe adam and eve rode dinosaurs to church is very amusing heh heh
Panel: Fred Thompson Rocks!!
Matthews: whats up the with Internets and blogospheres
[shows mocking videos]
Matthews: whoa!
Matthews: why did Tenet not bring Osama info to Bush in August of 2001
Ignatius: dood in 2001 he was trying to bond with Bush he was walking on eggshells he hacked some brush in Texas but he still hadn't gotten a nickname
Borger: the administration cherry-picked
Matthews: they lied
Borger: he wasn't in teh "In Crowd" -- they would all party after school and they didn't invite Tenet - he was at home playing with his CIA toys
Matthews: thats sad
Duffy: then they hung him out to dry
Matthews: whoa mean girlz
************************************************************************************
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Republican Debate - May 3, 2007
Republican Debate
MSNBC, Thursday, May 3
*** Not An Exact Transcript ***
Chris Matthews: hi im chris mathews ronald reagan had those great tv commericals with that guy from ernest & julio gallo wines Guiliani yur italian i'm sure you know them
Matthews: - Rudy how do make it mourning in america?
Rudy: I'm an optimist i dream we can live in a ferret-free america
McCain: my friends im hiding behind the troops - in Florida people cheer when we surrender thats bad
Matthews: ok
McCain: books have been written
Tommy Gun: first, we should plaster our cars with yellow magnets -- second we should give 1/3 of all children in Iraq a gallon of oil
Duncan Hunter: we should back out of Iraq slowly
Romney: we could have a tv set run the country, but what about commerical breaks - i mean get real ronald reagan was in the movies not tv
Moderator: thats true
Romney: iran and our friends could take our oil in Iraq away from us
Matthews: how do we win if there are so many kids who hate us who grow up to want to kill Americans
Brownback: i love moderate freedom-loving regimes like Egypt and Pakistan
Matthews: i like turkey
Brownback: who doesn't especially with gravy
Matthews: its delicious
Brownback: we have to engage Michael Jordan hes not weak
Huckabee: Bush is clearly a moron but why listen to gay man with a silk tie when you can hear a man with mud on face and blood on his feet its a big disgrace
Moderator: yur quoting Queen
Huckster: dood we will rock u
Gilmore Girl: we got distracted by that spot on Gorbachev's head in 1989 and forgot Reagan smuggled weapons to Osama bin Laden
Ron Paul: doods you are all crazy
McCain: [humming barbara ann] Iran is a totally great threat -- almost equal to Nancy Pelosi -- wait what was I saying oh right democracy and freedom and iraq i mean iraq..
Matthews: stop talking dood - what the Iran tripwire?
McCain: my greatest fear is Iran re-gifting a nuclear bomb
Matthews: yeah like on Seinfeld
McCain: he was jewish you know
Chris Matthews: speaking of jews Tancredo what's up
Tancredo: i luv Israel - 12th iman is ok but 13 is an unlucky number - a threat to israel is a threat to the United states
Matthews: dood you're weird
Rudy: teh Iranians looked into Reagan's eyes and panicked and returned teh hostages - they were afraid he would make another movie
Romney: teh Democrats are all hung up on Osama bin Laden - look this is an effort to bring down teh united states -- sure they start with boxcutters but they work their way up to knives and nunchucks dood
McCain: i will follow osama to teh gates of hell - i feel like i'm there right now
Matthews: foreign born yes or no
McCain: i dodge the question
Everyone else: no fucking way
Moderator: Rudy blacks yes or no
Rudy: look i treated whites just as bad as i treated blacks but you never hear about that
Tommy: i like the boy scout rule - we're stweards of teh earth and gay people are bad
Moderator: organ donations?
Tancredo: i hate disease but you're suggesting growing people in test tubes like frankenstein and no he was jewish you know
Paul: George Bush sux
Rudy: i will be the only one to speak for Roe v wade - that's pretty smart in a crowd of 10 dood
Tancredo: when a fetus can run for President it will be the greatest day in American history, second only to teh Little Big Horn
Romney: i want to apologize for being pro-life
Moderator: huh?
Romney: look dood when i realized massachusetts was cloning people i changed my mind
Brownback: I Love Jesus
Rudy: i hate abortion did you know my mother almost aborted me or so she told me last year
Matthews: i'm a cabdriver sum yourself up
McCain: this is about good vs. evil and i know all about that i'm old not senile dammitt blah blah blah
Matthews: damm stop talking
Tancredo: YARP!
Huckabee: Chris, you look very handsome tonight
Matthews: thanx
Huckabee: when a hiker gets a lost we find then a - muslim would pray to mecca that will never work
Paul: brown people don't pose a threat doods
Moderator: gays yes or no
Tompson: [stunned silence]
Matthews: Mitt - Speak to Catholics
Mitt: In "Battlefield Earth" they united to defeat a great enemy i hope to emulate that example
Huckabee: clearly Mitt belongs to a freak-ass religion
Mitt: dood
Huckabee: magic underwear, golden plates, u want me to go on
Mitt: no, point taken
Brownback: i once met Liberman - he's a jew i couldn't see his horns he must have long hair or something
Matthews: i'm a cabdriver - sum yourself up
McCain: this is about good vs. evil and i know all about that -- i'm old not senile dammitt blah blah blah
Matthews: damm stop talking
Tancredo: YARP!
Huckabee: Chris, you look very handsome tonight
Matthews: thanx
Huckabee: when a hiker gets a lost we find them - a muslim would pray to Mecca - that will never work
Paul: brown people don't pose a threat doods
Moderator: gays yes or no
Thompson: [stunned silence]
Matthews: Mitt - Speak to Catholics
Mitt: In "Battlefield Earth" they united to defeat a great enemy i hope to emulate that example
Huckabee: clearly Mitt belongs to a freak-ass religion
Mitt: dood
Huckabee: magic underwear, golden plates, u want me to go on
Mitt: no, point taken
Brownback: i once met Liberman a fucking jew i couldn't see his horns he must have long hair or something
Matthews: Rove yes or no
Gilmore: look karl rove is such a bad dancer that i wouldn't employ him
Matthews: you're all flailing
Tancredo: i used to like rove until i found out his great great grandfather was a dirty norweigan
Rudy: my father was italian
Tancredo: dirty wop!!
Rudy: one more word and i will have a plunger shoved up your ass
Tancredeo: im sorry
Matthews: Tommy why should we vote for u
Tommy: i have a blue tie
Moderator: Why is teh GOP so corrupt?
Brownback: dont forget teh one democrat with the $$ in his freezer
Moderator: ur reaching
Brownback: the reason Abramoff corrupted Congress is Don Imus, Rap Music and Abortion
Tancredo: im an extremist just like ronald reagan
Matthews: yeah but he was so handsome and ur ugly
Tancredo: ooh harsh dood
McCain: i knew a lot of drunken sailors - there was that one night I’d rather not talk about
Matthews: yur out of time but i'd love to hear teh end of that story
McCain: destroyer- i mean aircraft carrier - eh whatever
Moderator: Huck - if the Iraq War was a movie would give it an Oscar
Huckee: dood this is only teh middle of the movie if we had judged Titanic by that standard u would say it sucked
Moderator: it did suck
Huck: yeah but u had to wait til the end to find out
Rudy: i encouraged madonna and angelia jolie to adopt teh babies and abortion went down 50 percent
Moderator: racism yes or no
Thomson: i will stamp out racism and will take a business-oriented approach so i will put a jew in charge i wont welsh on it or gyp you
Moderator: dood
Thomspson: dont get your irish up otherwise or we wont have a chinaman's chance of succeeding
Moderator: women are teh fastest growing prisoners
Gilmore: i would leave this up to someone else -- i will take a lot naps as President like Reagan
Matthews: i'm having fun
Moderator: ur the only one
Mitt: nuclear transer is teh awesome
Matthews: no i said cloning
Mitt: dood Dr. Hobarts Method is the best
Brownback: Stem Cells it teh murder!
Panel: with all due respect to Nancy Reagan i luv little tiny embryos
McCain: i was a POW and i ate frozen embryos for a year to survive
Rudy: we paved the roads in New York City with frozen embryos was it wrong? i don't know but it worked
Mitt: My health care plan is Faaaaaaaaabulousss!!!!!
Moderator: but is it communist?
Mitt: no not HillaryCare - it's so darn exiiiiiiiting!
Brownback: I would like to kill someone behind a barn with a dull ax
Moderator: dood calm the fuck down
Gilmore: car tax bad!
Huckabee: i will get rid of the IRS and move to a consumption tax
Moderator: sure now that you've lost all that weight
Thompson: i'm excited about this race because i was Governor of Wisconsin and i would do anything to get the fuck out of there
McCain: flatter fairer tax
Paul: in my world the sky is a kind of crimson with a touch of mauve
Rudy: death tax -- when it goes to zero in 2011 we're going to have great incentive to kill your elderly relatives call it teh Anna Nicole phenomenon
Matthews: that baby is teh cute
Tancredo: what's wrong with killing relatives if they are hispanic
Moderator: name a good democrat
McCain: Lieberman
Moderator: i said Democrat not fascist
Moderator: evolution yes or no
McCain: no
Moderator: who else
Huckabee: adam and eve had a pet dinosaur like on the Flintstones
McCain: when i stand on the grand canyon i feel teh hand of god also flashbacks to Vietnam
Moderator: what's your greatest weakness
Rudy: i have no weaknesses
Brownback: he's eye-taaaalian
Huckabee: i hate greedy CEOs
Moderator: dood u r a Republican aren't u?
Paul: i trust the Internets - i luv freedom
Rudy: fences, id card, s rounding up immigrants, is cool and shit but why not just have teh brown people pay taxes
Mitt: yeah i agree -- foreigners were let in for teh Olympics but that went ok - they all went home
Paul: No ID cards!
Matthews: do you favor a law saying you have to be who you say you are
Tancredo: huh?
McCain & Rudy: only Aliens like ET would have to have an id card
Matthews: ok Alien what about Predator?
Brownback: my goodness what has this country come to when a white christian can't misremember now and then
Tancredo: i would make it legal for border guards to shoot people
Brownback: Terry was alive and in fact in better shape than Sen. Imhofe
McCain: in retrospect we blew it
Rudy: i would have put Terry Schiavo in Madame Tussauds and charged tickets
Matthews: Should we just have Bill Clinton back?
Brownback: Hillary killed Vince Foster
Gilmore: she’s a socialist
Huckabee: i had sex with Hillary
Tommy Thompson: i'm teh cleanup hitter
McCain: look at me i kind of sort of pro-life
Rudy: 9/11 is Hillary's fault -- none of the Dems said the word Islamic
Moderator: Sum up!
Hunter: teh chineeeseee!
Tancredo: Ben Franklin said...
Matthews: shut teh fuck up
Thompson: educational diplomacy
Rudy: 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11
*******************************************************************************
MSNBC, Thursday, May 3
*** Not An Exact Transcript ***
Chris Matthews: hi im chris mathews ronald reagan had those great tv commericals with that guy from ernest & julio gallo wines Guiliani yur italian i'm sure you know them
Matthews: - Rudy how do make it mourning in america?
Rudy: I'm an optimist i dream we can live in a ferret-free america
McCain: my friends im hiding behind the troops - in Florida people cheer when we surrender thats bad
Matthews: ok
McCain: books have been written
Tommy Gun: first, we should plaster our cars with yellow magnets -- second we should give 1/3 of all children in Iraq a gallon of oil
Duncan Hunter: we should back out of Iraq slowly
Romney: we could have a tv set run the country, but what about commerical breaks - i mean get real ronald reagan was in the movies not tv
Moderator: thats true
Romney: iran and our friends could take our oil in Iraq away from us
Matthews: how do we win if there are so many kids who hate us who grow up to want to kill Americans
Brownback: i love moderate freedom-loving regimes like Egypt and Pakistan
Matthews: i like turkey
Brownback: who doesn't especially with gravy
Matthews: its delicious
Brownback: we have to engage Michael Jordan hes not weak
Huckabee: Bush is clearly a moron but why listen to gay man with a silk tie when you can hear a man with mud on face and blood on his feet its a big disgrace
Moderator: yur quoting Queen
Huckster: dood we will rock u
Gilmore Girl: we got distracted by that spot on Gorbachev's head in 1989 and forgot Reagan smuggled weapons to Osama bin Laden
Ron Paul: doods you are all crazy
McCain: [humming barbara ann] Iran is a totally great threat -- almost equal to Nancy Pelosi -- wait what was I saying oh right democracy and freedom and iraq i mean iraq..
Matthews: stop talking dood - what the Iran tripwire?
McCain: my greatest fear is Iran re-gifting a nuclear bomb
Matthews: yeah like on Seinfeld
McCain: he was jewish you know
Chris Matthews: speaking of jews Tancredo what's up
Tancredo: i luv Israel - 12th iman is ok but 13 is an unlucky number - a threat to israel is a threat to the United states
Matthews: dood you're weird
Rudy: teh Iranians looked into Reagan's eyes and panicked and returned teh hostages - they were afraid he would make another movie
Romney: teh Democrats are all hung up on Osama bin Laden - look this is an effort to bring down teh united states -- sure they start with boxcutters but they work their way up to knives and nunchucks dood
McCain: i will follow osama to teh gates of hell - i feel like i'm there right now
Matthews: foreign born yes or no
McCain: i dodge the question
Everyone else: no fucking way
Moderator: Rudy blacks yes or no
Rudy: look i treated whites just as bad as i treated blacks but you never hear about that
Tommy: i like the boy scout rule - we're stweards of teh earth and gay people are bad
Moderator: organ donations?
Tancredo: i hate disease but you're suggesting growing people in test tubes like frankenstein and no he was jewish you know
Paul: George Bush sux
Rudy: i will be the only one to speak for Roe v wade - that's pretty smart in a crowd of 10 dood
Tancredo: when a fetus can run for President it will be the greatest day in American history, second only to teh Little Big Horn
Romney: i want to apologize for being pro-life
Moderator: huh?
Romney: look dood when i realized massachusetts was cloning people i changed my mind
Brownback: I Love Jesus
Rudy: i hate abortion did you know my mother almost aborted me or so she told me last year
Matthews: i'm a cabdriver sum yourself up
McCain: this is about good vs. evil and i know all about that i'm old not senile dammitt blah blah blah
Matthews: damm stop talking
Tancredo: YARP!
Huckabee: Chris, you look very handsome tonight
Matthews: thanx
Huckabee: when a hiker gets a lost we find then a - muslim would pray to mecca that will never work
Paul: brown people don't pose a threat doods
Moderator: gays yes or no
Tompson: [stunned silence]
Matthews: Mitt - Speak to Catholics
Mitt: In "Battlefield Earth" they united to defeat a great enemy i hope to emulate that example
Huckabee: clearly Mitt belongs to a freak-ass religion
Mitt: dood
Huckabee: magic underwear, golden plates, u want me to go on
Mitt: no, point taken
Brownback: i once met Liberman - he's a jew i couldn't see his horns he must have long hair or something
Matthews: i'm a cabdriver - sum yourself up
McCain: this is about good vs. evil and i know all about that -- i'm old not senile dammitt blah blah blah
Matthews: damm stop talking
Tancredo: YARP!
Huckabee: Chris, you look very handsome tonight
Matthews: thanx
Huckabee: when a hiker gets a lost we find them - a muslim would pray to Mecca - that will never work
Paul: brown people don't pose a threat doods
Moderator: gays yes or no
Thompson: [stunned silence]
Matthews: Mitt - Speak to Catholics
Mitt: In "Battlefield Earth" they united to defeat a great enemy i hope to emulate that example
Huckabee: clearly Mitt belongs to a freak-ass religion
Mitt: dood
Huckabee: magic underwear, golden plates, u want me to go on
Mitt: no, point taken
Brownback: i once met Liberman a fucking jew i couldn't see his horns he must have long hair or something
Matthews: Rove yes or no
Gilmore: look karl rove is such a bad dancer that i wouldn't employ him
Matthews: you're all flailing
Tancredo: i used to like rove until i found out his great great grandfather was a dirty norweigan
Rudy: my father was italian
Tancredo: dirty wop!!
Rudy: one more word and i will have a plunger shoved up your ass
Tancredeo: im sorry
Matthews: Tommy why should we vote for u
Tommy: i have a blue tie
Moderator: Why is teh GOP so corrupt?
Brownback: dont forget teh one democrat with the $$ in his freezer
Moderator: ur reaching
Brownback: the reason Abramoff corrupted Congress is Don Imus, Rap Music and Abortion
Tancredo: im an extremist just like ronald reagan
Matthews: yeah but he was so handsome and ur ugly
Tancredo: ooh harsh dood
McCain: i knew a lot of drunken sailors - there was that one night I’d rather not talk about
Matthews: yur out of time but i'd love to hear teh end of that story
McCain: destroyer- i mean aircraft carrier - eh whatever
Moderator: Huck - if the Iraq War was a movie would give it an Oscar
Huckee: dood this is only teh middle of the movie if we had judged Titanic by that standard u would say it sucked
Moderator: it did suck
Huck: yeah but u had to wait til the end to find out
Rudy: i encouraged madonna and angelia jolie to adopt teh babies and abortion went down 50 percent
Moderator: racism yes or no
Thomson: i will stamp out racism and will take a business-oriented approach so i will put a jew in charge i wont welsh on it or gyp you
Moderator: dood
Thomspson: dont get your irish up otherwise or we wont have a chinaman's chance of succeeding
Moderator: women are teh fastest growing prisoners
Gilmore: i would leave this up to someone else -- i will take a lot naps as President like Reagan
Matthews: i'm having fun
Moderator: ur the only one
Mitt: nuclear transer is teh awesome
Matthews: no i said cloning
Mitt: dood Dr. Hobarts Method is the best
Brownback: Stem Cells it teh murder!
Panel: with all due respect to Nancy Reagan i luv little tiny embryos
McCain: i was a POW and i ate frozen embryos for a year to survive
Rudy: we paved the roads in New York City with frozen embryos was it wrong? i don't know but it worked
Mitt: My health care plan is Faaaaaaaaabulousss!!!!!
Moderator: but is it communist?
Mitt: no not HillaryCare - it's so darn exiiiiiiiting!
Brownback: I would like to kill someone behind a barn with a dull ax
Moderator: dood calm the fuck down
Gilmore: car tax bad!
Huckabee: i will get rid of the IRS and move to a consumption tax
Moderator: sure now that you've lost all that weight
Thompson: i'm excited about this race because i was Governor of Wisconsin and i would do anything to get the fuck out of there
McCain: flatter fairer tax
Paul: in my world the sky is a kind of crimson with a touch of mauve
Rudy: death tax -- when it goes to zero in 2011 we're going to have great incentive to kill your elderly relatives call it teh Anna Nicole phenomenon
Matthews: that baby is teh cute
Tancredo: what's wrong with killing relatives if they are hispanic
Moderator: name a good democrat
McCain: Lieberman
Moderator: i said Democrat not fascist
Moderator: evolution yes or no
McCain: no
Moderator: who else
Huckabee: adam and eve had a pet dinosaur like on the Flintstones
McCain: when i stand on the grand canyon i feel teh hand of god also flashbacks to Vietnam
Moderator: what's your greatest weakness
Rudy: i have no weaknesses
Brownback: he's eye-taaaalian
Huckabee: i hate greedy CEOs
Moderator: dood u r a Republican aren't u?
Paul: i trust the Internets - i luv freedom
Rudy: fences, id card, s rounding up immigrants, is cool and shit but why not just have teh brown people pay taxes
Mitt: yeah i agree -- foreigners were let in for teh Olympics but that went ok - they all went home
Paul: No ID cards!
Matthews: do you favor a law saying you have to be who you say you are
Tancredo: huh?
McCain & Rudy: only Aliens like ET would have to have an id card
Matthews: ok Alien what about Predator?
Brownback: my goodness what has this country come to when a white christian can't misremember now and then
Tancredo: i would make it legal for border guards to shoot people
Brownback: Terry was alive and in fact in better shape than Sen. Imhofe
McCain: in retrospect we blew it
Rudy: i would have put Terry Schiavo in Madame Tussauds and charged tickets
Matthews: Should we just have Bill Clinton back?
Brownback: Hillary killed Vince Foster
Gilmore: she’s a socialist
Huckabee: i had sex with Hillary
Tommy Thompson: i'm teh cleanup hitter
McCain: look at me i kind of sort of pro-life
Rudy: 9/11 is Hillary's fault -- none of the Dems said the word Islamic
Moderator: Sum up!
Hunter: teh chineeeseee!
Tancredo: Ben Franklin said...
Matthews: shut teh fuck up
Thompson: educational diplomacy
Rudy: 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11
*******************************************************************************
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