Sunday, August 09, 2015

Meet The Press - August 9, 2015

Donald Trump
Gov. Jon Kasich (R-OH)
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO)
David Brooks
Andrea Mitchell
Hugh Hewitt
Heather McGhee – Demos

Todd: Good morning and welcome
to the Trump Hour starring Donald Trump
brought to you by Donald Trump

Todd: so far Donald Trump has denigrated
Blacks and Latinos and Veterans and
women but he went to far when he
insulted Fox News' Megan Kelly

Todd: Erick Erickson disinvited
Trump from his Hate Women Rally
Trump: Erickson is a deviant!

Jeb: do we want to insult women voters?

Erickson: those fat pigs?

Rubio: Donald Who?

Todd: welcome Donald Trump

Trump: just get to the questions Chuckles

Todd: would you like to
apologize to Megyn Kelly?

Trump: no not at all

Todd: are you sure?

Trump: Newsmax thought
I won the debate!

Todd: well that settles it

Trump: what is said was appropriate!

Todd: literally no one thinks that

Trump: only a deviant would think
I was assume I was referring to
Megyn's hormones

Todd: but you did demonize her

Trump: she was very angry because
I insulted her lesbian lover Rosie O'Donnell

Todd: please continue

Trump: I was going to say blood
was coming out of her ears and nose

Todd: of course you were

Trump: I went to the Wharton school
there is no menstruation there!

Todd: so why not apologize?

Trump: because I'm not wrong!

Todd: you seem allergic to admitting
you were wrong about anything

Todd: I said the same thing
about Chris Wallace

Todd: oh okay

Trump: he's a loser shadow
of his better father by the way

Todd: you overreacted
to a innocuous question

Trump: frankly I wanted to talk about
jobs but ended up insulting all women

Todd: shrewd

Trump: Erick Erickson is a known loser

Todd: you seem to call everyone
you disagree with ugly or a loser

Trump: or in your case both

Todd: that hurts Donald

Trump: there's a chipmunk
on your face dummy

Todd: there's a beaver on your head jerk

Trump: I think I like you Ted

Todd: that was fun but are
you too impolitic to be President?

Trump: in the middle east they're
chopping off heads and you're
talking about verbal put-downs

Todd: Presidents generally aren't that rude

Trump: we need more foul and
repulsive language - not less

Todd: okay

Trump: political correctness 
is killing America!

Todd: indeed

Trump: Jeb Bush wants to
cut health care funding for women
isn't that a worse insult?

Todd: I suppose it could be

Trump: I respect the women
and will help the women

Todd: which women?

Trump: all of the women

Todd: I see

Trump: I put the women in construction jobs

Todd: yet you insult women
based on their looks

Trump: I was attacked viciously and
when I'm attacked I fight back

Todd: that's your reason?

Trump: these ugly broads can't
attack me because I'm so good looking

Todd: please continue

Trump: political correctness is killing us!

Todd: so you've said

Trump: China is taking our jobs and
their chicks are even uglier than ours!

Todd: Mr Trump please stop

Trump: I'm talkin about some
real dogs Chuck!

Todd: all right all right

Trump: in the whole debate
no one asked me about jobs

Todd: that's sad

Trump: I never got a chance to
talk about how Mexicans are rapists
because all I'm asked about is
how much I insult women

Todd: maybe next time
we can talk about that

Trump: I hope so Dick

[ break ]

Todd: welcome back panel

Todd: can Donald Trump be President?

Hewitt: no!

Todd: you don't sound sure

Hewitt: the GOP debate skipped the
important issues like Iran and
cybersecurity and Clinton's e-mails

Todd: well whose fault is that?

Hewitt: the loser in this debate was the GOP

Todd: panel can nothing stop Trump?

Mitchell: he's teflon – he's even
attacked popular conservative women!

Todd: amazing

Mitchell: what's next – kittens and puppies?

Todd: voters seems to like this crazy man

Brooks: he's like a religious zealot
and we all know bad religion is

Todd: what can we do to stop him?

McGhee: it's not about Trump –
it's about the GOP having a problem
with women in general

Todd: what do you mean?

McGhee: like with women's health
and women's wages

Todd: okay okay

Hewitt: we need to get behind
Carly Fiorina – she bashed
Donald Trump tweeting from a
meeting with famous sexist Erick Erickson

Todd: sounds like a plan

Hewitt: Trump is going to fade!

Todd: you're engaging in wishful thinking

Hewitt: I don't think so

Todd: that's exactly what someone
engaging in wishful thinking would say

[ break ]

Todd: welcome Senator Rubio

Rubio: what's up chuck

Todd: do you support allowing
abortion for rape and incest

Rubio: yes I do but not really

Todd: I see

Rubio: I believing in restricting
abortion by months or weeks
or days or even hours

Todd: how specific of you

Rubio: I'll support any law
that restricts choice

Todd: so why allow exceptions

Rubio: rape is horrifying
but pregnancies do happen

Todd: that's a bold admission

Rubio: we should make the morning
after pill available over the counter

Todd: okay then

Rubio: but I feel all fetus lives matter

Todd: got it

Rubio: but other people
insist on those exceptions

Todd: how do resolve
the issue of the baby vs the mother

Rubio: no doubt women have
rights to their body

Todd: oh do tell

Rubio: for sure it's not
easy to make that choice

Todd: no it's not

Rubio: don't pretend this is easy

Todd: I don't

Rubio: but I'm always going
to err on the side of big government

Todd: how does a President
decide when to ignore the public?

Rubio: on foreign policy you
have to because most people
are really stupid

Todd: they can't find Iraq or Iran on a map

Rubio: they can't find America on a map!

Todd: and that's using a map of America

Rubio: I warned all about ISIS

Todd: you did?

Rubio: the President has access
to super secret information regular
people don't know

Todd: like 'the earth is round'
and 'climate change is real'

Rubio: exactly

Todd: Bob Gates said pulling out
of the Iran deal would be a bad idea

Rubio: he also gave us Windows Vista

Todd: um right

Rubio: Russia does not always
act in the interest of the U.S.

Todd: well no kidding

Rubio: Russia's emotions should
not impact our foreign policy

Todd: you think not?

Rubio: that applies to other countries too

Todd: even Israel?

Rubio: no!

Todd: ha

Rubio: Iran is planning to launch
long range missiles on Iowa

Todd: are you serious?

Rubio: maybe

Todd: what do you owe your big donors?

Rubio: nothing

Todd: really?

Rubio: I have an agenda and that's that

Todd: so your rich donors
have no special access to you?

Rubio: not at all

Todd: so why doesn't that
apply to the Clintons?

Rubio: because those are foreigners
who get of course special favors
from the Clinton State Department
for donating cash

Todd: so why doesn't that apply to you?

Rubio: because I'm awesome

Todd: some guy on Facebook
wants legal pot

Rubio: legalizing pot is bad!

Todd: so you would arrest
people for having a little pot?

Rubio: you betcha!

Todd: check the Meet the Press website –
you won't believe Marco Rubio's
One Simple Trick for Stopping Abortion

Todd: Spoiler alert: it's IUDs

[ break ]

Todd: let's look at the latest polls!

Todd: debate winners – Fiorina and Trump!

Todd: losers – Trump and Paul
and Bush and Christie

Todd: who is atop the polls now –
Trump and Cruz and Carson and Fiorina

Todd: also in the debate Chris Christie
reminded voters Republicans brought
them the greatest day of their lives – 9/11

[ break ]

Todd: omg Chuck Schumer
opposes the Iran deal!

Todd: welcome Senator

McCaskill: hello Charles

Todd: do you support the deal with Iran?

McCaskill: I'm looking at Iranian money

Todd: it's a lot of cash

McCaskill: yes but they might get
the cash anyway even if we walk
away from inspections

Todd: so it's a bad deal!

McCaskill: not necessarily

Todd: but we don't trust Iran

McCaskill: that's the point

Todd: Obama is being very mean
by pointing out the media was wrong
about the war in Iraq

McCaskill: well you were

Todd: is that fair? Is that fair?
Is it?? isn't it unfair??

McCaskill: um

Todd: it's soooo unfair!!
Obama is meeeaaan!!!

McCaskill: if we turn down a
chance to inspect that would be bad

Todd: but isn't Obama mean and bad?!?

McCaskill: Calm down Todd

Todd: you support Hillary –
what about Joe Biden?

McCaskill: what about him?
Even if he runs I'll still support Hillary

Todd: hmm I hadn't thought of that

Todd: isn't her campaign failing?

McCaskill: no she's a fighter

Todd: are you rooting for Donald Trump?

McCaskill: ha ha maybe

Todd: is he hurting the GOP brand?

McCaskill: Todd Akin was principled
cuckoo but principled

Todd: sounds about right

McCaskill: but Trump is just
a sexist racist buffoonish

Todd: true

Todd: thanks for coming Claire

[ break ]

Todd: Governor is Trump
consuming the GOP?

Kasich: when women touch
things they make them better

Todd: okay but is Trump damaging
the Republican party?

Kasich: once we have a nominee
that person will define the party

Todd: I see

Kasich: Bernie Sanders is socialist!

Todd: Time magazine compared
you to Pope Francis

Kasich: the Pope is a communist
but he seems like a nice person

Todd: a bit

Kasich: the Lord gave us the
environment to use but not abuse

Todd: is man-made climate change real?

Kasich: the science is out on that

Todd: no it isn't

Kasich: you can't destroy jobs
based on some crazy-ass theory
of so-called climate change

Todd: Erick Erickson doesn't like you

Kasich: are you sure that's a
real person and not a cartoon character

Todd: no I'm not

[ break ]

Todd: the media is in love with Jon Kasich

Hewitt: yes but he's too compassionate

Todd: well we're all flawed in some way

Hewitt: we should talk about
Clinton's e-mails every single day

Todd: are liberals worried about Kasich?

McGhee: the GOP says they care
about poor people but only offers tax cuts

Mitchell: the media is ignoring Hillary's e-mails!

Todd: true

Mitchell: if she's smart Hillary
will talk about Megan Kelly

Todd: David which Republican
has the best ideas?

Brooks: never mind ideas –
we should choose the person
with the best political skills
and that's Marco Rubio

Mitchell: I agree Rubio is very skilled
but Jon Kasich is the media's white whale
a seemingly moderate Republican

Todd: Bernie Sanders was interrupted
by some very rude black people

Todd: Heather why is a guy who
knew Martin Luther King being attacked
for police killing black people?

McGhee: because he draws
the biggest crowds

Mitchell: Bernie is weak on race

Todd: Chris Christie twice claimed
he was a U.S. attorney on 9/11
which is a flat-out lie

Hewitt: it's a big deal

Brooks: Trump is a presence
in out deep unconscience

McGhee: bragging about four
bankruptcies is a bit tin-earned

Todd: why is he so popular?

Mitchell: I don't like him

Todd: 25 million people tuned
in to see Donald Trump

Hewitt: I want Trump on stage
to draw attention to the fact
that Obama is mean

Mitchell: I just cannot see my
beloved GOP nominating him

Brooks: candidates should
talk about America

Todd: you think?

Brooks: voters crave patriotism

Hewitt: we should start a
land war with Russia

Todd: Carly Fiorina!

McGhee: she's a good debater
but wrong on policy

Todd: is she the best to take on Hillary?

McGhee: of course

Todd: and that's another
episode of Meet the Press

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