Guests:
Vice President Joe Biden
Mayor Cory Booker (D-Newark)
Fmr. Rep. Joe Scarborough (R-FL)
Andrea Mitchell
Mark McKinnon
*******************************
Gregory: Busy weekend in Congress with tax cuts, gays in the military, DREAM and START
Gregory: Joe very nice job this week -
but what about jobs?
Biden: the deal to prevent the Bush Tax Hike
will mean more jobs
Gregory: Bush Tax Hike?
Biden: right - Bush signed a law to raise your taxes in 2011 and we prevented that and even added unemployment insurance
Gregory: Mitt Romney says there is still uncertainty - why did you not write the laws in stone or blood
Biden: job creators don’t care about rates for the rich - businessmen want a new backhoe
Gregory: but in 2012 people will want more tax
cuts for the rich
Biden: which people?
Gregory: me and all my rich friends
Biden: we had nail down a deal now
Gregory: Obama broke his promise to make Republicans to do the right thing!
Biden: hey Fluffy we lost the 2010 elections -
did you know that?
Gregory: really?
Biden: right - the GOP was holding unemployed people hostage
Gregory: but Obama compromised!
Biden: fuckin-a Fluffers - people were drowning!
Gregory: Obama is not serious about cutting
the deficit
Biden: bullshit
Gregory: oh?
Biden: right - all economists said to attack the debt we should cut the payroll tax and spend more
Gregory: so why not spend more money on shovel-ready projects?
Biden: great idea - we froze spending on discretionary projects
Gregory: I see
Gregory: will Obama veto any bill with earmarks?
Biden: who can say - we’d be willing to drive a
Chevy to the levee to fund troops in Afghanistan
Gregory: Veto - yes or no!
Biden: I veto you Fluffy!
Gregory: omg we’re going to have lesbians serving openly in the military
Biden: most of the Dutch military are gay men and they haven’t lost a war since Napoleon
Gregory: plus they’re all tall and good looking
Biden: especially in those speed skating outfits
Gregory: so true
Gregory: can we still build a missile shield
under START?
Biden: yes - look even John McCain likes this treaty and as you have no doubt noticed he’s insane
Gregory: Julian Assange says he will continue to release cables from Reading Goal
Biden: damm that fucker and his nice hair
Gregory: is he a crook?
Biden: he conspired with leakers unlike Bob Woodward who has a very nice townhouse in Georgetown
Gregory: is Assange a terrorist or a freedom fighter?
Biden: he’s a high tech terrorist because now I can’t bring my friends into meetings with other diplomats
Gregory: are we winning in Afghanistan?
Biden: in our effort to kill the last 90 members of al-qaeda we’re making great progress
Gregory: excellent
Biden: remaking the Central Asian region is however proving to be a little more difficult
Gregory: just be honest with me Joe
Biden: you’re a moron
Gregory: anything else
Biden: also truthfully Bush completely fucked up Afghanistan so we need to withdraw carefully
Gregory: Ok
Biden: we’re Al Pacino in Godfather III
Gregory: overacting in a regrettable sequel?
Biden: every time we think we’re out - we get pulled back in!
Gregory: should we be terrified of an al-qaeda
terror attack in America?
Biden: no
Gregory: that’s disappointing
Biden: but we should be worried about weirdo nutjobs like Underpants Boy
Gregory: How does Obama turn things around?
Biden: the American people want us to get along and get stuff done and goddammit that is
what we’re doing
Gregory: what is Obama - is he a liberal, a pragmatist, a Vulcan or an android?
Biden: he’s a progressive leader who knows politics is the art of the possible
Gregory: but Obama ran on changing Washington forever
Biden: but the Republicans decided it was in their best interest to obstruct Obama at every turn
Gregory: they were rewarded
Biden: right but they are already compromising - those weeping weenies
Gregory: can you speak reason to the GOP
Biden: Yes! I’ve been doing it all along Fluffman
Gregory: interesting
Biden: I like these Republicans and they’re
my friends
Gregory: Awwww
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama came through with big Republican votes on ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’
Scarborough: it’s a big win for Obama who was losing his base
Gregory: Cornyn and McCain said it’s disgrace to shove gays down our throats
McKinnon: that’s stupid and bigoted
Gregory: How did Obama pull it off?
Mitchell: Admiral Mullen and others persuaded others that it was immoral not to repeal the dishonorable policy
Gregory: what about the tax bill?
Booker: it’s pragmatic just like DADT
Gregory: Oh?
Booker: sure - the liberal base wants to raise taxes on the rich but I tell you this is a good deal for people in Newark
Gregory: is this the new practical Obama?
Scarborough: passing this bill was easy - Obama needs to control the deficit or America will collapse like Ireland or California
Gregory: Oh my god!
Scarborough: raising the debt is totally reckless!
Gregory: You’re a Reagan republican!
Scarborough: that’s different! He was a white cowboy with nice hair!
McKinnon: do you like my scarf?
Booker: unlike all of you I actually have a real job
McKinnon: oh snap
Booker: I don’t care about attacks on wealth - I want spending to build up my crappy city
Mitchell: the GOP were dumb to oppose the DREAM act - these are people who are trying to educate themselves and serve the nation on the front lines
Booker: it’s crazy - it’s like if Einstein were a war
hero and telling him to get his anchor-baby ass back to Germany
Gregory: so basically you’re saying it’s another Obama failure
McKinnon: we went from 44% of the Hispanic vote
to 28% in 2008 - so good job, GOP!
Gregory: people think American is on the wrong track
McKinnon: so true
Gregory: people think ‘No Labels’ is right-wing childish magical thinking
McKinnon: Rush Limbaugh and Frank Rich both attacked us so we must be right
Gregory: okey
McKinnon: America likes good things
Scarborough: Leftists are childish and they
lost in 2010
Gregory: so how does Obama punish the GOP
Booker: I heard you are a moron
Gregory: yes
Booker: Who cares?! my city is totally fucked! I have to work with evil people like Chris Christie and Mark Zuckberg!
Gregory: Andrea are we ever leaving the nightmare that is Afghanistan
Mitchell: everything is collapsing so we might as well get the hell out
Booker: why are still cutting taxes for the rich when we’re at war?
Scarborough: Obama cut taxes and doubled-down until 2015
Gregory: I’m scared of terrorists hiding in caves
Mitchell: Pakistan won’t cooperate so we should just fucking leave already
Scarborough: I guarantee we not leaving in 2014
Booker: people in Newark are scared of gunfire but it’s not coming from Afghanistan I assure you
Gregory: Mark Zuckerberg pledged $100 million for Newark schools
Booker: did I mention he’s a genius and a
wonderful person
Gregory: schools are awesome
Mitchell: those Asians are beating us our asses
Scarborough: a non-shitty American education should be our moonshot!
Gregory: Amen
**************************
Sunday, December 19, 2010
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - December 19, 2010
Guests:
Sen. John Kerrey
Sen. Richard Lugar
George Will
Donna Brazile
Rajiv Chandrasekan
Chrystia Freeland
************************************
Amanpour: whoa gay soldiers, tax cuts, and START - hell of lame duck Congress
Amanpour: Senator will our military be all-gay now and what does that mean
Kerrey: well George Washington, General Sherman and George Armstrong Custer were all gay so it’s not problem
Lugar: I was persuaded by the Marines that their seamen would be threatened
Kerrey: Dick has his mind on the tip of the spear
Amanpour: Will START pass?
Kerrey: why not - we’re on a roll!
Lugar: the GOP will pass it if we can amend it
Amanpour: how so?
Lugar: to only allow lesbians in the military
Kerrey: I think we can do that
Lugar: also we need a massive fantasy missile shield
Kerrey: we can still build a fake pretend shield
if we want to
Amanpour: but the Preamble!
Kerrey: Schoolhouse Rock covered all that
Lugar: look as Republicans we hate North Korea, Iran, Afghanistan Pakistan, and Iraq but that doesn’t mean we can’t hate the Russians too
Amanpour: so how is our failing war
in Afghanistan going?
Lugar: Those wily Paks won’t close the borders!
Amanpour: Okay
Lugar: of course we can’t control the Mexican border
Kerrey: Look Pakistan has a very very fragile
corrupt puppet government
Amanpour: does it
Kerrey: yes - did you know American drones
killing civilians are very unpopular there?
Amanpour: No!
Kerrey: Yes!
Amanpour: Richard Holbrooke died
Kerrey: He was amazing and focused
Lugar: Pakistanis like money but getting money there was very difficult
Amanpour: Have you tried throwing billions
in cash out of airplanes?
Lugar: that could work
[ break ]
Amanpour: Should we stick with the Afghan quagmire?
Will: we’re winning battles but not the war
Chandrasekan: of course U.S. soldiers can kill - but the Afghan government cannot control the country
Amanpour: Obama says we’re winning
Chandrasekan: but he wants to withdraw - which is probably right
Brazille: what the fuck are we doing there - we’re fighting to force the Afghan people to take over their own damm country
Freeland: we’re in a recession so the uber-hawk GOP decided we need to leave Afghanistan
Will: Harry Reid called the GOP’s bluff and they weren’t bluffing - they really are crazy
Amanpour: so really - no more earmarks?
Will: yes nutjobs in the Tea Party have everyone terrified
Brazile: that’s fine but what the hell are they
gonna cut?
Freeland: the partisanship over the next two years will make 2010 look like a damm Amish barn raising
Will: oh no there will be bipartisanship - Democrats will give Republicans what they want
Amanpour: who won with the tax deal?
Will: Obama had a terrible week because a federal judge in Virginia with a massive financial conflict
of interest said you can’t force people to buy health insurance
Brazille: fuck you George
McCain: I hate gay people!!
Chandrasekan: I’ve talked to the troops and they don’t care if you’re straight, gay, bi or Lindsey Graham
Brazille: they’re good soldiers and willing to die
for their nation
Will: and willing to kill which gives me a happy
*********************************************
Sen. John Kerrey
Sen. Richard Lugar
George Will
Donna Brazile
Rajiv Chandrasekan
Chrystia Freeland
************************************
Amanpour: whoa gay soldiers, tax cuts, and START - hell of lame duck Congress
Amanpour: Senator will our military be all-gay now and what does that mean
Kerrey: well George Washington, General Sherman and George Armstrong Custer were all gay so it’s not problem
Lugar: I was persuaded by the Marines that their seamen would be threatened
Kerrey: Dick has his mind on the tip of the spear
Amanpour: Will START pass?
Kerrey: why not - we’re on a roll!
Lugar: the GOP will pass it if we can amend it
Amanpour: how so?
Lugar: to only allow lesbians in the military
Kerrey: I think we can do that
Lugar: also we need a massive fantasy missile shield
Kerrey: we can still build a fake pretend shield
if we want to
Amanpour: but the Preamble!
Kerrey: Schoolhouse Rock covered all that
Lugar: look as Republicans we hate North Korea, Iran, Afghanistan Pakistan, and Iraq but that doesn’t mean we can’t hate the Russians too
Amanpour: so how is our failing war
in Afghanistan going?
Lugar: Those wily Paks won’t close the borders!
Amanpour: Okay
Lugar: of course we can’t control the Mexican border
Kerrey: Look Pakistan has a very very fragile
corrupt puppet government
Amanpour: does it
Kerrey: yes - did you know American drones
killing civilians are very unpopular there?
Amanpour: No!
Kerrey: Yes!
Amanpour: Richard Holbrooke died
Kerrey: He was amazing and focused
Lugar: Pakistanis like money but getting money there was very difficult
Amanpour: Have you tried throwing billions
in cash out of airplanes?
Lugar: that could work
[ break ]
Amanpour: Should we stick with the Afghan quagmire?
Will: we’re winning battles but not the war
Chandrasekan: of course U.S. soldiers can kill - but the Afghan government cannot control the country
Amanpour: Obama says we’re winning
Chandrasekan: but he wants to withdraw - which is probably right
Brazille: what the fuck are we doing there - we’re fighting to force the Afghan people to take over their own damm country
Freeland: we’re in a recession so the uber-hawk GOP decided we need to leave Afghanistan
Will: Harry Reid called the GOP’s bluff and they weren’t bluffing - they really are crazy
Amanpour: so really - no more earmarks?
Will: yes nutjobs in the Tea Party have everyone terrified
Brazile: that’s fine but what the hell are they
gonna cut?
Freeland: the partisanship over the next two years will make 2010 look like a damm Amish barn raising
Will: oh no there will be bipartisanship - Democrats will give Republicans what they want
Amanpour: who won with the tax deal?
Will: Obama had a terrible week because a federal judge in Virginia with a massive financial conflict
of interest said you can’t force people to buy health insurance
Brazille: fuck you George
McCain: I hate gay people!!
Chandrasekan: I’ve talked to the troops and they don’t care if you’re straight, gay, bi or Lindsey Graham
Brazille: they’re good soldiers and willing to die
for their nation
Will: and willing to kill which gives me a happy
*********************************************
Sunday, December 12, 2010
60 Minutes with John Boehner - Dec. 12, 2010
Stahl: He’s the new Speaker, won one of the biggest elections in decades and is third in line for the Presidency - meet John Boehner!
Stahl: what do you think of Obama?
Boehner: He’s brilliant and good looking
Stahl: he called you a hostage-taker
Boehner: that’s uncalled for and if he doesn’t stop
I will shoot this dog
Stahl: you’re so wonderful
Boehner: I know
Stahl: you disrespected Obama
Boehner: true but he said I am a color that doesn’t exist in nature
Stahl: he has a point
Boehner: [ sobs ]
Boehner [ on tape ]: Hell no we can’t!!
Stahl: you said ‘Hell yes we can cry our eyes out!’
Boehner: sniff sniff
Stahl: you mopped the vomit off the floor in a bar
at 10 years old
Boehner: I had 11 brothers and sisters and one bathroom which will help in running the House
Stahl: you were Kennedy Democrats
Boehner: then I saw the Reagan light and cried my way to the top
Stahl: why did you sob so much on election night
Boehner: I’ve been chasing the American dream all my life
Stahl: what’s that?
Boehner: providing for the safety and security
of the lobbyists who fund me
[ stops, starts sobbing ]
Stahl: have you learned lessons from
Gingrich’s mistakes?
Boehner: I’m going to try avoid being a total asshole
Stahl: you worked with Ted Kennedy
Boehner: he was awesome but in my defense
he charmed everybody
Stahl: Obama says you have to compromise
Boehner: Hell no I don’t!
Stahl: I don’t get it
Boehner: I speak for the American people
Stahl: you compromised on the tax cuts
Boehner: shhh… the tea partiers are loonies
Stahl: will you treat the tea partiers like children?
Boehner: that’s putting it charitably
Stahl: but the tax deal will add to the deficit
Boehner: only spending is bad
Stahl: that’s idiotic
Boehner: I know
Stahl: what will you cut?
Boehner: cut the budgets of committees
in Congress
Stahl: that doesn’t sound like much money
Boehner: true but it’s useless
Stahl: you’re a much better golfer than Obama
Boehner: I know - I’m so awesome
Stahl: why not play golf with Obama
Boehner: playing with little white balls reveals character
Stahl: Mrs. Boehner are you proud of your husband
Boehner: [ starts crying ]
Wife: he’s going through an emotional time
Stahl: I can see that
Boehner: [ sobbing ]
Wife: hell he was a janitor when I met him and now look at him
Stahl: indeed
Boehner: [ blows nose ]
Stahl: well good luck to you both
Wife: thanks Leslie
Boehner: [ baaaaahhhh ]
****************************
Stahl: what do you think of Obama?
Boehner: He’s brilliant and good looking
Stahl: he called you a hostage-taker
Boehner: that’s uncalled for and if he doesn’t stop
I will shoot this dog
Stahl: you’re so wonderful
Boehner: I know
Stahl: you disrespected Obama
Boehner: true but he said I am a color that doesn’t exist in nature
Stahl: he has a point
Boehner: [ sobs ]
Boehner [ on tape ]: Hell no we can’t!!
Stahl: you said ‘Hell yes we can cry our eyes out!’
Boehner: sniff sniff
Stahl: you mopped the vomit off the floor in a bar
at 10 years old
Boehner: I had 11 brothers and sisters and one bathroom which will help in running the House
Stahl: you were Kennedy Democrats
Boehner: then I saw the Reagan light and cried my way to the top
Stahl: why did you sob so much on election night
Boehner: I’ve been chasing the American dream all my life
Stahl: what’s that?
Boehner: providing for the safety and security
of the lobbyists who fund me
[ stops, starts sobbing ]
Stahl: have you learned lessons from
Gingrich’s mistakes?
Boehner: I’m going to try avoid being a total asshole
Stahl: you worked with Ted Kennedy
Boehner: he was awesome but in my defense
he charmed everybody
Stahl: Obama says you have to compromise
Boehner: Hell no I don’t!
Stahl: I don’t get it
Boehner: I speak for the American people
Stahl: you compromised on the tax cuts
Boehner: shhh… the tea partiers are loonies
Stahl: will you treat the tea partiers like children?
Boehner: that’s putting it charitably
Stahl: but the tax deal will add to the deficit
Boehner: only spending is bad
Stahl: that’s idiotic
Boehner: I know
Stahl: what will you cut?
Boehner: cut the budgets of committees
in Congress
Stahl: that doesn’t sound like much money
Boehner: true but it’s useless
Stahl: you’re a much better golfer than Obama
Boehner: I know - I’m so awesome
Stahl: why not play golf with Obama
Boehner: playing with little white balls reveals character
Stahl: Mrs. Boehner are you proud of your husband
Boehner: [ starts crying ]
Wife: he’s going through an emotional time
Stahl: I can see that
Boehner: [ sobbing ]
Wife: hell he was a janitor when I met him and now look at him
Stahl: indeed
Boehner: [ blows nose ]
Stahl: well good luck to you both
Wife: thanks Leslie
Boehner: [ baaaaahhhh ]
****************************
Meet The Press - December 12, 2010
Guests:
Austan Goolsbee - Council of Economic Advisors
Mike Bloomberg - Mayor of New York
Rep. Anthony Weiner - (D-NY)
Harold Ford
Savannah Guthrie
Paul Gigot
************************
Gregory: Is the tax deal going to pass?
Goolsbee: sure it will - we can’t allow taxes to go up
Gregory: some people hate it
Goolsbee: I know it’s a bitter pill to swallow
Gregory: Larry Summers says we’re going to have a double-dip recession - is he just trying to scare people?
Goolsbee: [ puts flashlight under chin ]
taxes will go up in 20 days!
Gregory: the tax cuts didn’t create jobs in the
first place
Goolsbee: true - but Obama scored an awesome deal for the Obama tax cuts
Gregory: do tax cuts stimulate the economy?
Goolsbee: not for the rich - but it’s a compromise
to help working families
Gregory: will you really raise taxes on the
rich in 2012?
Goolsbee: it’s possible - after all some say the world will also come to an end
Gregory: the tax cuts for the rich will add to the deficit!
Goolsbee: adding by not raising taxes?
Gregory: right
Goolsbee: look Fluffy Obama agrees with you
and Tim Geithner!
Gregory: but how can you show you’re serious like me!
Goolsbee: if you want to cut the debt we have to grow the economy
Gregory: that’s not what Tim Geithner said
Goolsbee: yes he did
Gregory: whatever
Gregory: isn’t it a fundamental flaw that this deal doesn’t solve the deficit once and for all?
Goolsbee: you mean like every Republican plan since 1980?
Gregory: don’t we have to raise taxes on the
middle class right now!!
Goolsbee: there’s a lot we can’t afford Greggers
Gregory: when will unemployment go down?
Goolsbee: soonever
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: Mayor what do you think of the tax deal
Bloomberg: hey at least they got something done
Gregory: but it’s not a long-term permanent solution!
Bloomberg: so what?
Gregory: but the debt!! [ screeches ]
Bloomberg: well maybe you should ask your Republican friends about that Fluffers
Gregory: but it seems like we’re not serious about tackling the debt problem
Bloomberg: we’re not
Gregory: so sad
Bloomberg: Obama’s job is to persuade people
to sacrifice
Gregory: do tax cuts stimulate the economy?
Bloomberg: sure - people take the money and spend it
Gregory: but the Bush tax cuts didn’t create any jobs
Bloomberg: are you deaf Greggers - I said rich people spend and invest money
Gregory: Is Obama a fighter or weak?
Bloomberg: well now he’s leading - by making
deals and accommodations
Gregory: I see
Bloomberg: we need to support the President to help the nation succeed
Gregory: how does he deal with Angry Liberals
Bloomberg: tell them to suck it up
Gregory: don’t Americans need to suffer with austerity?
Bloomberg: we need investment!
Gregory: really?
Bloomberg: we need a new great American innovation like the Erie Canal, national railroads, WWII, the Internet or the army of robots roaming
the subways of New York City
Gregory: what was that last one?
Bloomberg: I’ve said too much
Gregory: what must we do now?
Bloomberg: we must give people false confidence in the future - then they will spend wildly
Gregory: give me a tough choice you would make
Bloomberg: let foreign geniuses move to the U.S.
Gregory: sweet
Bloomberg: It’s national suicide to force businesses to only hire Americans
Gregory: are running for President?
Bloomberg: no
Gregory: are you in favor of scrapping political parties?
Bloomberg: they are very annoying
Gregory: you’re running aren’t you?
Bloomberg: We’re creating jobs here in
New York City!
Gregory: If I came to you and got down on my hands and knees and begged you to run - would you?
Bloomberg: no I’m too modest
Gregory: what do you want to do?
Bloomberg: I’d like to be the greatest Mayor of all time
Gregory: you attacked the left and right -
that tickles me in my special place
Bloomberg: thanks Fluffy
Gregory: could you roll Congress better than Obama?
Bloomberg: NYC is rocking and rolling
Gregory: but isn’t that easier said than done?
Bloomberg: Actually Obama is doing it
Gregory: really?
Bloomberg: and he’s creating awesome trade agreements
Gregory: what else should he do?
Bloomberg: Obama needs businessmen who have swept the floor for their employees
Gregory: I can’t say I’ve ever done that
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama brought in Bill Clinton to defend
his tax deal
Guthrie: The Bid Dog was in his element
Clinton: a Mexican Stand-Off ain’t gonna work
Weiner: I'm biased because Clinton married me
Gregory: I see
Weiner: When Bill Clinton compromised it was different because the debt is a problem now
Gregory: will you vote for this?
Weiner: Congress will begin to do our job - with
19 days left in the session
Ford: we got everything we wanted!
Gregory: really!?
Ford: Anthony is so worried about the debt - most of that come from the middle class cuts
Gigot: Obama endorsed Bush’s ideas!
Weiner: I’m not running around with my tail between with my legs!
Gregory: Is Obama?
Weiner: we have the numbers - we don’t have a
weak hand!
Guthrie: Obama is staring at the barrel of a gun
Gregory: wow
Guthrie: why didn’t the Democrats run on raising taxes before November?
Ford: I would like to note that Bush was a big-spending craptacular President
Gregory: let’s raise taxes on everyone!
Gigot: Yes! except the rich!
Gregory: Obama called the left sanctimonious purists
Weiner: Obama is right - if he had fought harder for the public option we would have it -
the people love it!
Ford: excuse me Tony - the public rejected liberals in November
Guthrie: Obama is finally fighting - against the left!
Gregory: Krauthammer says Obama pulled a Kenyan-style swindle
Gigot: Republicans promised to raise the debt and by golly they did it
Weiner: Republicans got what they wanted -
it’s frustrating!
Gigot: because they get to vote too
Weiner: Obama backed away from this fight!
Ford: Anthony the Democrats lost 60 seats -
did you know that?
Gregory: Is Obama a pragmatist?
Guthrie: this is who Obama is - the progressives wanted John Edwards
Gregory: okay then
********************************
Austan Goolsbee - Council of Economic Advisors
Mike Bloomberg - Mayor of New York
Rep. Anthony Weiner - (D-NY)
Harold Ford
Savannah Guthrie
Paul Gigot
************************
Gregory: Is the tax deal going to pass?
Goolsbee: sure it will - we can’t allow taxes to go up
Gregory: some people hate it
Goolsbee: I know it’s a bitter pill to swallow
Gregory: Larry Summers says we’re going to have a double-dip recession - is he just trying to scare people?
Goolsbee: [ puts flashlight under chin ]
taxes will go up in 20 days!
Gregory: the tax cuts didn’t create jobs in the
first place
Goolsbee: true - but Obama scored an awesome deal for the Obama tax cuts
Gregory: do tax cuts stimulate the economy?
Goolsbee: not for the rich - but it’s a compromise
to help working families
Gregory: will you really raise taxes on the
rich in 2012?
Goolsbee: it’s possible - after all some say the world will also come to an end
Gregory: the tax cuts for the rich will add to the deficit!
Goolsbee: adding by not raising taxes?
Gregory: right
Goolsbee: look Fluffy Obama agrees with you
and Tim Geithner!
Gregory: but how can you show you’re serious like me!
Goolsbee: if you want to cut the debt we have to grow the economy
Gregory: that’s not what Tim Geithner said
Goolsbee: yes he did
Gregory: whatever
Gregory: isn’t it a fundamental flaw that this deal doesn’t solve the deficit once and for all?
Goolsbee: you mean like every Republican plan since 1980?
Gregory: don’t we have to raise taxes on the
middle class right now!!
Goolsbee: there’s a lot we can’t afford Greggers
Gregory: when will unemployment go down?
Goolsbee: soonever
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: Mayor what do you think of the tax deal
Bloomberg: hey at least they got something done
Gregory: but it’s not a long-term permanent solution!
Bloomberg: so what?
Gregory: but the debt!! [ screeches ]
Bloomberg: well maybe you should ask your Republican friends about that Fluffers
Gregory: but it seems like we’re not serious about tackling the debt problem
Bloomberg: we’re not
Gregory: so sad
Bloomberg: Obama’s job is to persuade people
to sacrifice
Gregory: do tax cuts stimulate the economy?
Bloomberg: sure - people take the money and spend it
Gregory: but the Bush tax cuts didn’t create any jobs
Bloomberg: are you deaf Greggers - I said rich people spend and invest money
Gregory: Is Obama a fighter or weak?
Bloomberg: well now he’s leading - by making
deals and accommodations
Gregory: I see
Bloomberg: we need to support the President to help the nation succeed
Gregory: how does he deal with Angry Liberals
Bloomberg: tell them to suck it up
Gregory: don’t Americans need to suffer with austerity?
Bloomberg: we need investment!
Gregory: really?
Bloomberg: we need a new great American innovation like the Erie Canal, national railroads, WWII, the Internet or the army of robots roaming
the subways of New York City
Gregory: what was that last one?
Bloomberg: I’ve said too much
Gregory: what must we do now?
Bloomberg: we must give people false confidence in the future - then they will spend wildly
Gregory: give me a tough choice you would make
Bloomberg: let foreign geniuses move to the U.S.
Gregory: sweet
Bloomberg: It’s national suicide to force businesses to only hire Americans
Gregory: are running for President?
Bloomberg: no
Gregory: are you in favor of scrapping political parties?
Bloomberg: they are very annoying
Gregory: you’re running aren’t you?
Bloomberg: We’re creating jobs here in
New York City!
Gregory: If I came to you and got down on my hands and knees and begged you to run - would you?
Bloomberg: no I’m too modest
Gregory: what do you want to do?
Bloomberg: I’d like to be the greatest Mayor of all time
Gregory: you attacked the left and right -
that tickles me in my special place
Bloomberg: thanks Fluffy
Gregory: could you roll Congress better than Obama?
Bloomberg: NYC is rocking and rolling
Gregory: but isn’t that easier said than done?
Bloomberg: Actually Obama is doing it
Gregory: really?
Bloomberg: and he’s creating awesome trade agreements
Gregory: what else should he do?
Bloomberg: Obama needs businessmen who have swept the floor for their employees
Gregory: I can’t say I’ve ever done that
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama brought in Bill Clinton to defend
his tax deal
Guthrie: The Bid Dog was in his element
Clinton: a Mexican Stand-Off ain’t gonna work
Weiner: I'm biased because Clinton married me
Gregory: I see
Weiner: When Bill Clinton compromised it was different because the debt is a problem now
Gregory: will you vote for this?
Weiner: Congress will begin to do our job - with
19 days left in the session
Ford: we got everything we wanted!
Gregory: really!?
Ford: Anthony is so worried about the debt - most of that come from the middle class cuts
Gigot: Obama endorsed Bush’s ideas!
Weiner: I’m not running around with my tail between with my legs!
Gregory: Is Obama?
Weiner: we have the numbers - we don’t have a
weak hand!
Guthrie: Obama is staring at the barrel of a gun
Gregory: wow
Guthrie: why didn’t the Democrats run on raising taxes before November?
Ford: I would like to note that Bush was a big-spending craptacular President
Gregory: let’s raise taxes on everyone!
Gigot: Yes! except the rich!
Gregory: Obama called the left sanctimonious purists
Weiner: Obama is right - if he had fought harder for the public option we would have it -
the people love it!
Ford: excuse me Tony - the public rejected liberals in November
Guthrie: Obama is finally fighting - against the left!
Gregory: Krauthammer says Obama pulled a Kenyan-style swindle
Gigot: Republicans promised to raise the debt and by golly they did it
Weiner: Republicans got what they wanted -
it’s frustrating!
Gigot: because they get to vote too
Weiner: Obama backed away from this fight!
Ford: Anthony the Democrats lost 60 seats -
did you know that?
Gregory: Is Obama a pragmatist?
Guthrie: this is who Obama is - the progressives wanted John Edwards
Gregory: okay then
********************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - December 12, 2010
Guests:
David Axelrod - White House Advisor
Tzipi Livni - Israel Opposition Leader
Salam Fayyad - PM Palestinian Authority
*************************
Amanpour: Welcome David - Congressional Dems don’t want to cut taxes for the rich!
Axelrod: well do they want to raises taxes on the middle class and end unemployment benefits?
Amanpour: make me an offer
Axelrod: I’m not here to negotiate
Amanpour: what about the estate tax?
Axelrod: hey did you know there is a payroll tax cut?
Amanpour: Obama said he wouldn’t accept a tax
cut for the rich
Axelrod: right he never ever will - that would borrow money from China for no reason
Amanpour: but the deal extends the cuts
Axelrod: ah but not permanently
Amanpour: so will you raise taxes in 2012 which is after all an election year?
Axelrod: sure because the economy will have recovered by then
Amanpour: you negotiated with the GOP and
didn’t include any Democrats
Axelrod: It all happened so fast - Obama was at home watching the finale of ‘Dancing With the Stars’ with Mitch McConnell and suddenly we had
an agreement
Amanpour: Is Obama ditching liberal Dems?
Axelrod: not at all - he’s just ignoring them
Amanpour: Is Obama too much pulpit and not enough bully?
Axelrod: ha good one
Amanpour: Larry Summers says if we don’t make a deal we will have a double-dip recession
Axelrod: no he only said that it might happen
Amanpour: what’s so great about the deal?
Axelrod: it will get corporations off the economic sidelines and in the game!
Amanpour: this will add a trillion dollars to the debt!
Axelrod: these are existing tax cuts Christiane!
Amanpour: even so - how can we live with this debt?
Axelrod: what we can’t live with is this crappy economy
Amanpour: will any Democrats vote for the deal?
Axelrod: hey we hate this deal too - politics is the
art of compromise
Amanpour: thanks!
[ break ]
Amanpour: This just in - Israel and Palestinians
are still fighting
Audience: wow
Amanpour: Why are you humiliating the
United States?
Livni: We all want a peace treaty - I think
Fayyad: the process is broken
Amanpour: Can we make Jerusalem a place for all faiths to come together in peace - like Epcot
Livni: that’s a nice fantasyland
Amanpour: why don’t you recognize that not all refugees won’t be able to come back?
Fayyad: if only there were some sort of process to discuss all that
Livni: the answer is to create a Palestinian state to take refugees like Israel took Jewish refugees fleeing oppression in Europe
Amanpour: interesting analogy
Amanpour: Can the U.S. help at all make peace between the parties?
Livni: you can’t even do that in America!
Amanpour: good point
Fayyad: why not - they could be our broker
Amanpour: the U.S. has a bloody nose!
Livni: sorry about that
Amanpour: Fayyad has accomplished so much - why not assist him?
Livni: we are - we sent him a whole bunch of hannukah gifts!
Fayyad: thanks so much for those
Amanpour: would you like anything else?
Fayyad: um let's see - how about ending
the occupation?
Amanpour: can you do that?
Livni: Have you tried working with Bibi - he’s nuts
Amanpour: thank you both for coming
******************************
David Axelrod - White House Advisor
Tzipi Livni - Israel Opposition Leader
Salam Fayyad - PM Palestinian Authority
*************************
Amanpour: Welcome David - Congressional Dems don’t want to cut taxes for the rich!
Axelrod: well do they want to raises taxes on the middle class and end unemployment benefits?
Amanpour: make me an offer
Axelrod: I’m not here to negotiate
Amanpour: what about the estate tax?
Axelrod: hey did you know there is a payroll tax cut?
Amanpour: Obama said he wouldn’t accept a tax
cut for the rich
Axelrod: right he never ever will - that would borrow money from China for no reason
Amanpour: but the deal extends the cuts
Axelrod: ah but not permanently
Amanpour: so will you raise taxes in 2012 which is after all an election year?
Axelrod: sure because the economy will have recovered by then
Amanpour: you negotiated with the GOP and
didn’t include any Democrats
Axelrod: It all happened so fast - Obama was at home watching the finale of ‘Dancing With the Stars’ with Mitch McConnell and suddenly we had
an agreement
Amanpour: Is Obama ditching liberal Dems?
Axelrod: not at all - he’s just ignoring them
Amanpour: Is Obama too much pulpit and not enough bully?
Axelrod: ha good one
Amanpour: Larry Summers says if we don’t make a deal we will have a double-dip recession
Axelrod: no he only said that it might happen
Amanpour: what’s so great about the deal?
Axelrod: it will get corporations off the economic sidelines and in the game!
Amanpour: this will add a trillion dollars to the debt!
Axelrod: these are existing tax cuts Christiane!
Amanpour: even so - how can we live with this debt?
Axelrod: what we can’t live with is this crappy economy
Amanpour: will any Democrats vote for the deal?
Axelrod: hey we hate this deal too - politics is the
art of compromise
Amanpour: thanks!
[ break ]
Amanpour: This just in - Israel and Palestinians
are still fighting
Audience: wow
Amanpour: Why are you humiliating the
United States?
Livni: We all want a peace treaty - I think
Fayyad: the process is broken
Amanpour: Can we make Jerusalem a place for all faiths to come together in peace - like Epcot
Livni: that’s a nice fantasyland
Amanpour: why don’t you recognize that not all refugees won’t be able to come back?
Fayyad: if only there were some sort of process to discuss all that
Livni: the answer is to create a Palestinian state to take refugees like Israel took Jewish refugees fleeing oppression in Europe
Amanpour: interesting analogy
Amanpour: Can the U.S. help at all make peace between the parties?
Livni: you can’t even do that in America!
Amanpour: good point
Fayyad: why not - they could be our broker
Amanpour: the U.S. has a bloody nose!
Livni: sorry about that
Amanpour: Fayyad has accomplished so much - why not assist him?
Livni: we are - we sent him a whole bunch of hannukah gifts!
Fayyad: thanks so much for those
Amanpour: would you like anything else?
Fayyad: um let's see - how about ending
the occupation?
Amanpour: can you do that?
Livni: Have you tried working with Bibi - he’s nuts
Amanpour: thank you both for coming
******************************
Sunday, December 05, 2010
60 Minutes - Interview with Mark Zuckerberg Dec. 5, 2010
Stahl: did you plan to have 500 million people turn their lives over to you?
Zuckerberg: I never knew people would be
that crazy - heh
Stahl: what does the word “hack” mean?
Zuckerberg: it means coding like a freaking maniac
Stahl: what’s a ‘hackathon’?
Zuckerberg: it’s staying up from dusk til dawn
doing crazy things
Stahl: you’re vampires
Zuckerberg: Shhhh
Stahl: Facebook is entirely different starting tomorrow
Zuckerberg: rights it’s a ticker tape of your life
Stahl: now you can see all your friends and
your friends’ friends
Zuckerberg: right - assuming you actually have any
Stahl: what about personal privacy?
Zuckerberg: what is that?
Stahl: people think you are sneaky
Zuckerberg: we don’t sell your information
Stahl: you just compile it and let others take it
Zuckerberg: if others do we hunt them down and
have them killed
Stahl: Doesn’t Facebook have to use information?
Swisher: of course
Zuckerberg: we don’t get it right all the time
Stahl: you hired a lobbyist
Zuckerberg: we love privacy - that’s why we
want to take it
Stahl: if Facebook creating a phone?
Facebook guy: no - we just want to own it
Stahl: is e-mail dead?
Facebook guy: no we haven’t killed it - yet
Stahl: are Google and Facebook on a collision course?
Swisher: Facebook smash!
Zuckerberg: the whole world is social!
Stahl: you’re stealing talent from Google - you even took their chef!
Zuckerberg: a man’s gotta eat
Stahl: you want to conquer the entire Internet
Zuckerberg: why stop there?
Stahl: Half a billion people give you their personal information - so who the hell are you?
Zuckerberg: I’m the inventor of Facebook
Stahl: you saw the movie
Zuckerberg: yes
Stahl: it says you only created Facebook to
get girls
Zuckerberg: not true - I created Facebook
to crush people
Stahl: are you a great entrepeneur?
Zuckerberg: well I sure don’t suck at it
Winklevoss brothers: We invented social networks and Zuckerberg betrayed us!
Stahl: but you didn’t invent social networking dudes
Winklevoss: he was our teammate - that bastard!
Stahl: why are you still suing Facebook?
Winklevoss: This is all about principles - he took our shitty idea and created a 30 billion dollar company!
Stahl: what is the deal the Winklevoss brothers?
Zuckerberg: I volunteered to help those losers and then I created a real website
Stahl: do you feel bad?
Zuckerberg: um no - those spoiled brats are crazy
Zuckerberg: you coined the term toddler CEO
Swisher: well like a toddler he’s grown immensely
Stahl: what were you right about?
Zuckerberg: I turned down an offer of a measly $1 billion
Stahl: when will you go public and can I get
some stock?
Zuckerberg: I don’t know, and no
Stahl: you’re a 26 year-old self made billionaire - do you ever pinch yourself? I mean really so it hurts
Zuckerberg: It’s pretty fucking amazing Leslie
Zuckerberg: I never knew people would be
that crazy - heh
Stahl: what does the word “hack” mean?
Zuckerberg: it means coding like a freaking maniac
Stahl: what’s a ‘hackathon’?
Zuckerberg: it’s staying up from dusk til dawn
doing crazy things
Stahl: you’re vampires
Zuckerberg: Shhhh
Stahl: Facebook is entirely different starting tomorrow
Zuckerberg: rights it’s a ticker tape of your life
Stahl: now you can see all your friends and
your friends’ friends
Zuckerberg: right - assuming you actually have any
Stahl: what about personal privacy?
Zuckerberg: what is that?
Stahl: people think you are sneaky
Zuckerberg: we don’t sell your information
Stahl: you just compile it and let others take it
Zuckerberg: if others do we hunt them down and
have them killed
Stahl: Doesn’t Facebook have to use information?
Swisher: of course
Zuckerberg: we don’t get it right all the time
Stahl: you hired a lobbyist
Zuckerberg: we love privacy - that’s why we
want to take it
Stahl: if Facebook creating a phone?
Facebook guy: no - we just want to own it
Stahl: is e-mail dead?
Facebook guy: no we haven’t killed it - yet
Stahl: are Google and Facebook on a collision course?
Swisher: Facebook smash!
Zuckerberg: the whole world is social!
Stahl: you’re stealing talent from Google - you even took their chef!
Zuckerberg: a man’s gotta eat
Stahl: you want to conquer the entire Internet
Zuckerberg: why stop there?
Stahl: Half a billion people give you their personal information - so who the hell are you?
Zuckerberg: I’m the inventor of Facebook
Stahl: you saw the movie
Zuckerberg: yes
Stahl: it says you only created Facebook to
get girls
Zuckerberg: not true - I created Facebook
to crush people
Stahl: are you a great entrepeneur?
Zuckerberg: well I sure don’t suck at it
Winklevoss brothers: We invented social networks and Zuckerberg betrayed us!
Stahl: but you didn’t invent social networking dudes
Winklevoss: he was our teammate - that bastard!
Stahl: why are you still suing Facebook?
Winklevoss: This is all about principles - he took our shitty idea and created a 30 billion dollar company!
Stahl: what is the deal the Winklevoss brothers?
Zuckerberg: I volunteered to help those losers and then I created a real website
Stahl: do you feel bad?
Zuckerberg: um no - those spoiled brats are crazy
Zuckerberg: you coined the term toddler CEO
Swisher: well like a toddler he’s grown immensely
Stahl: what were you right about?
Zuckerberg: I turned down an offer of a measly $1 billion
Stahl: when will you go public and can I get
some stock?
Zuckerberg: I don’t know, and no
Stahl: you’re a 26 year-old self made billionaire - do you ever pinch yourself? I mean really so it hurts
Zuckerberg: It’s pretty fucking amazing Leslie
60 Minutes with Ben Bernanke - Dec. 5, 2010
Bernanke: Unemployment is very high
Pelley: no shit Sherlock
Pelley: we lost 8 million jobs - when will we get them all back?
Bernanke: 5 years
Pelley: awesome
Bernanke: there’s more - people have been out of work so long they don’t even know most white collar people know spent most of their time at their desks on the Internet
Pelley: wow
Pelley: Wall Street is swimming in money but they won’t lend
Bernanke: why borrow money when you can’t sell anything?
Pelley: so no more bubble?
Bernanke: right - lend, but not too much
Pelley: why did you spend $600 billion
Bernanke: inflation is a problem in that prices are falling
Pelley: so. . . deflation?
Bernanke: right
Pelley: some people think you’re crazy
Bernanke: we’re not printing money - we’re lowering interest rates
Pelley: but inflation is terrifying!
Bernanke: that’s not a problem
Pelley: I’m still scared of 1979
Bernanke: look we can crack down on a return of disco in 15 minutes if we have to
Pelley: what about ABBA?
Bernanke: them too
Pelley: do we have a self-sustaining economy?
Bernanke: no you idiot
Pelley: how about the tax cuts?
Bernanke: we should worry about that 20 years from now
Pelley: how can we grow the economy?
Bernanke: simplify the tax code
Pelley: should the GOP run the Fed like everything else?
Bernanke: I’d have to say no
Pelley: you bailed out Wall Street
Bernanke: we prevented a breakdown of the global financial system
Pelley: you were supposed to prevent that from happening in the first place
Bernanke: no one could have foreseen widespread that obvious fraud and irrational lending would be a problem
Pelley: amazing
Bernanke: we didn’t oversee AIG or Lehman
Pelley: who did?
Bernanke: no one
Pelley: okey dokey
Pelley: what about the gap between rich and poor in America?
Bernanke: it’s great for the rich and not so much for the uneducated and poor
Bernanke: interesting
Pelley: Is America doomed?
Bernanke: not at all - if we can tweet our way to riches
Pelley: Awesome
***************************
Pelley: no shit Sherlock
Pelley: we lost 8 million jobs - when will we get them all back?
Bernanke: 5 years
Pelley: awesome
Bernanke: there’s more - people have been out of work so long they don’t even know most white collar people know spent most of their time at their desks on the Internet
Pelley: wow
Pelley: Wall Street is swimming in money but they won’t lend
Bernanke: why borrow money when you can’t sell anything?
Pelley: so no more bubble?
Bernanke: right - lend, but not too much
Pelley: why did you spend $600 billion
Bernanke: inflation is a problem in that prices are falling
Pelley: so. . . deflation?
Bernanke: right
Pelley: some people think you’re crazy
Bernanke: we’re not printing money - we’re lowering interest rates
Pelley: but inflation is terrifying!
Bernanke: that’s not a problem
Pelley: I’m still scared of 1979
Bernanke: look we can crack down on a return of disco in 15 minutes if we have to
Pelley: what about ABBA?
Bernanke: them too
Pelley: do we have a self-sustaining economy?
Bernanke: no you idiot
Pelley: how about the tax cuts?
Bernanke: we should worry about that 20 years from now
Pelley: how can we grow the economy?
Bernanke: simplify the tax code
Pelley: should the GOP run the Fed like everything else?
Bernanke: I’d have to say no
Pelley: you bailed out Wall Street
Bernanke: we prevented a breakdown of the global financial system
Pelley: you were supposed to prevent that from happening in the first place
Bernanke: no one could have foreseen widespread that obvious fraud and irrational lending would be a problem
Pelley: amazing
Bernanke: we didn’t oversee AIG or Lehman
Pelley: who did?
Bernanke: no one
Pelley: okey dokey
Pelley: what about the gap between rich and poor in America?
Bernanke: it’s great for the rich and not so much for the uneducated and poor
Bernanke: interesting
Pelley: Is America doomed?
Bernanke: not at all - if we can tweet our way to riches
Pelley: Awesome
***************************
Meet The Press - December 5, 2010
December 5, 2010
Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
Sen. John F. Kerry (D-MA)
Tom Friedman
David Brooks
Katty Kay
****************************
Gregory: should we cut taxes for the rich?
McConnell: of course we should
Gregory: Harry Reid says if cutting on the wealthy worked they would have fucking worked
McConnell: this would hit only small businesses
Gregory: they been in place since 2001!
McConnell: yes we would have had a bad economy without those cuts!
Gregory: that’s stupid
McConnell: I don’t care - a minority of the Senate has spoken!
Gregory: what about START treaty?
McConnell: never heard of it
Gregory: do you like the debt commission’s crazy recommendations?
McConnell: I love them - the debt is like the cast of the Jersey Shore
Gregory: how so
McConnell: both became hot when Obama became President and by January no one will care again
Gregory: are you made about WikiLeaks?
McConnell: he’s a high tech terrorist!
Gregory: Isn’t Obama incompetent for letting a Private get this information?
McConnell: I’m a GOP leader and even I think that’s a stupid question
Gregory: how terrible is Obama?
McConnell: the American people want us put Obama in headlock
Gregory: will you work with him?
McConnell: sure - we can approve the Korea trade treaty
Gregory: he was roundly criticized for leaving Korea without a deal
McConnell: that’s because the media is full of right-wing whores - thank god
Gregory: is he tougher than his opponents think?
McConnell: was he mean to you Fluffy?
Gregory: what about repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?
McConnell: I can’t support it because of abortion in military hospitals
Gregory: [ facepalm ]
Gregory: what’s up John?
Kerry: Republicans want to cut unemployment insurance so they can give $100,000 to very rich people
Gregory: but rich people are very uncertain about how rich they will be
Kerry: the GOP is morally bankrupt and reckless
Gregory: but they’re so handsome and responsible
Kerry: the Chinese are making solar panels and we lead the world in per capita dancing with stars
Gregory: so why is Obama going to cave to the Republicans?
Kerry: he’s not!
Gregory: that’s not what I heard!
Kerry: Mitch McConnell is a prick
Gregory: Obama does nothing to make Republicans squirm
Kerry: not true - every morning he’s black
Gregory: good point
Kerry: Fluffy Obama rescued Wall Street and got no credit
Gregory: how does that make the GOP unhappy?
Kerry: I’m trying to focus the American people - listen up - the GOP is holding unemployment hostage to give your money away to rich people!
Gregory: you make that sound bad
Kerry: the Democrats comprised over and over and over - and this is our Sputnik moment except we’re East Germany
Gregory: Bob Gates say there’s been an overreaction to WikiLeaks
Kerry: Social Security numbers were exposed!
Gregory: oh my
Kerry: the truth of our diplomatic gossip can be very embarrassing
Gregory: How do you ask a man to be the last man or woman to die in Afghanistan?
Kerry: Afghanistan is not Vietnam - for example Afghanistan has treacherous mountains and it never rains
Gregory: how else?
Kerry: no good movies have been about Afghanistan
Gregory: that’s true
Kerry: we’re going to win in 2014!
Gregory: why does America have a sad Brooksie?
Brooks: the good news is we’re not Chinese - the bad news is we’re not the Chinese
Murphy: the Republicans will give on the START treaty which they support in exchange for tax cuts which they also support
Gregory: we’re not adding jobs but we’re panicking about the debt
Kay: we’ve reached Peak America
Gregory: I see
Kay: but things are worse in Europe because they peaked years ago
Friedman: we’re in flat world which means we need more immigrants, roads, bridges, and education
Gregory: you’re crushing my world
Friedman: people want a human-animal hybrid politics
Gregory: the liberal base is very angry
Murphy: he’s got to dump progressives and stop governing as such a crazy lefty
Gregory: what else?
Murphy: cut social security and medicare
Kay: Americans have a messianic sense of entitlement
Brooks: Paul Ryan is a very serious and inspiring loon
Gregory: I see
Brooks: McConnell made news today when he said he was willing to sit down - that’s a huge giveaway!
Friedman: I like things which are Big and Hard
Kay: the American people don’t feel the deficit is a problem just because interest rates are low which is sad
Gregory: Obama’s approval is not that bad compared to Reagan or Clinton
Brooks: yes but the economy is worse and liberals are wringing their hands over Obama’s weakness
Murphy: Democrats are silly to worry about taxes on the rich
Gregory: what did we learn from the WikiLeaks?
Friedman: the U.S. is giant money-laundering operation
Gregory: fascinating
Friedman: also we are addicted to oil and credit
Brooks: American attacked us in Korea in 1952!
Kay: the leaks show America is not as powerful as it was after World War II
Murphy: Julian Assange committed an act of treason!
Gregory: how so?
Murphy: he never puts shrimp on the barbie!
Gregory: Joe Scarborough says the GOP should man up and say mean things about Sarah Palin
Murphy: She’s a total disaster - but she can win the GOP Iowa caucus
Gregory: what up about Afghanistan?
Friedman: those wily middle easterners are only in it for the money
Gregory: ooh I hate that Tom - and that’s Meet The Press
*****************************
Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
Sen. John F. Kerry (D-MA)
Tom Friedman
David Brooks
Katty Kay
****************************
Gregory: should we cut taxes for the rich?
McConnell: of course we should
Gregory: Harry Reid says if cutting on the wealthy worked they would have fucking worked
McConnell: this would hit only small businesses
Gregory: they been in place since 2001!
McConnell: yes we would have had a bad economy without those cuts!
Gregory: that’s stupid
McConnell: I don’t care - a minority of the Senate has spoken!
Gregory: what about START treaty?
McConnell: never heard of it
Gregory: do you like the debt commission’s crazy recommendations?
McConnell: I love them - the debt is like the cast of the Jersey Shore
Gregory: how so
McConnell: both became hot when Obama became President and by January no one will care again
Gregory: are you made about WikiLeaks?
McConnell: he’s a high tech terrorist!
Gregory: Isn’t Obama incompetent for letting a Private get this information?
McConnell: I’m a GOP leader and even I think that’s a stupid question
Gregory: how terrible is Obama?
McConnell: the American people want us put Obama in headlock
Gregory: will you work with him?
McConnell: sure - we can approve the Korea trade treaty
Gregory: he was roundly criticized for leaving Korea without a deal
McConnell: that’s because the media is full of right-wing whores - thank god
Gregory: is he tougher than his opponents think?
McConnell: was he mean to you Fluffy?
Gregory: what about repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?
McConnell: I can’t support it because of abortion in military hospitals
Gregory: [ facepalm ]
Gregory: what’s up John?
Kerry: Republicans want to cut unemployment insurance so they can give $100,000 to very rich people
Gregory: but rich people are very uncertain about how rich they will be
Kerry: the GOP is morally bankrupt and reckless
Gregory: but they’re so handsome and responsible
Kerry: the Chinese are making solar panels and we lead the world in per capita dancing with stars
Gregory: so why is Obama going to cave to the Republicans?
Kerry: he’s not!
Gregory: that’s not what I heard!
Kerry: Mitch McConnell is a prick
Gregory: Obama does nothing to make Republicans squirm
Kerry: not true - every morning he’s black
Gregory: good point
Kerry: Fluffy Obama rescued Wall Street and got no credit
Gregory: how does that make the GOP unhappy?
Kerry: I’m trying to focus the American people - listen up - the GOP is holding unemployment hostage to give your money away to rich people!
Gregory: you make that sound bad
Kerry: the Democrats comprised over and over and over - and this is our Sputnik moment except we’re East Germany
Gregory: Bob Gates say there’s been an overreaction to WikiLeaks
Kerry: Social Security numbers were exposed!
Gregory: oh my
Kerry: the truth of our diplomatic gossip can be very embarrassing
Gregory: How do you ask a man to be the last man or woman to die in Afghanistan?
Kerry: Afghanistan is not Vietnam - for example Afghanistan has treacherous mountains and it never rains
Gregory: how else?
Kerry: no good movies have been about Afghanistan
Gregory: that’s true
Kerry: we’re going to win in 2014!
Gregory: why does America have a sad Brooksie?
Brooks: the good news is we’re not Chinese - the bad news is we’re not the Chinese
Murphy: the Republicans will give on the START treaty which they support in exchange for tax cuts which they also support
Gregory: we’re not adding jobs but we’re panicking about the debt
Kay: we’ve reached Peak America
Gregory: I see
Kay: but things are worse in Europe because they peaked years ago
Friedman: we’re in flat world which means we need more immigrants, roads, bridges, and education
Gregory: you’re crushing my world
Friedman: people want a human-animal hybrid politics
Gregory: the liberal base is very angry
Murphy: he’s got to dump progressives and stop governing as such a crazy lefty
Gregory: what else?
Murphy: cut social security and medicare
Kay: Americans have a messianic sense of entitlement
Brooks: Paul Ryan is a very serious and inspiring loon
Gregory: I see
Brooks: McConnell made news today when he said he was willing to sit down - that’s a huge giveaway!
Friedman: I like things which are Big and Hard
Kay: the American people don’t feel the deficit is a problem just because interest rates are low which is sad
Gregory: Obama’s approval is not that bad compared to Reagan or Clinton
Brooks: yes but the economy is worse and liberals are wringing their hands over Obama’s weakness
Murphy: Democrats are silly to worry about taxes on the rich
Gregory: what did we learn from the WikiLeaks?
Friedman: the U.S. is giant money-laundering operation
Gregory: fascinating
Friedman: also we are addicted to oil and credit
Brooks: American attacked us in Korea in 1952!
Kay: the leaks show America is not as powerful as it was after World War II
Murphy: Julian Assange committed an act of treason!
Gregory: how so?
Murphy: he never puts shrimp on the barbie!
Gregory: Joe Scarborough says the GOP should man up and say mean things about Sarah Palin
Murphy: She’s a total disaster - but she can win the GOP Iowa caucus
Gregory: what up about Afghanistan?
Friedman: those wily middle easterners are only in it for the money
Gregory: ooh I hate that Tom - and that’s Meet The Press
*****************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - December 5, 2010
Guests:
Gen. (Ret.) Wesley Clark
Lt. Col. (Ret.) Bob Maginnis
Tammy Schultz - Marine Corps War College
Clarke Cooper - Log Cabin Republicans
Sgt. Stacy Vasquez
Elaine Donnelly, Center for Military Readiness
************************************
Amanpour: Should gays serve in the military?
Colin Powell, 1993: hell no!
Colin Powell, 2010: why not - they’re adorable!
Marines: let’s wait til we’re down to just one and a half wars
Clark: hey if we can fight two wars we can handle a few open gays
Amanpour: heck even conservatives support repeal
Schultz: the troops don’t think it’s a problem at all
Amanpour: but our precious Marines and their seamen!
Schultz: they’re too focused on fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan to worry about a couple of lesbians
Amanpour: ok we’re surveyed everyone and we all love gay people and also Glee is America’s most popular show
Donnelly: Gays in the military are like putting stones in your sack - very gay stones
Cooper: hey lady I was in combat and I only care if people shoot straight
Amanpour: the tip of the spear has gay panic
Cooper: all we have to do is send out a memo telling Marines to stop discrimination
Maginnis: the soldiers will follow orders but we will lose recruits and most soldiers come from gay-hating areas like Alabama and Idaho
Amanpour: fascinating
Maginnis: most soldiers are conservatives
Amanpour: are you sure?
Maginnis: yes for example they hate government but have cradle to grave government-provided health care
Amanpour: that sounds right
Clark: nobody asked on D-Day if Matt Damon was gay
Amanpour: interesting
Clark: open lesbians make great soldiers - they increase morale!
Donnelley: we can’t have premature adjudication
Cooper: there have always been gays in the military
Donnelley: the policy is too lenient on those wily wicked gays
Amanpour: Stacy you were promoted 7 times and then outed
Vasquez: yes I was highly decorated and commended for my dedication and professionalism
Amanpour: well thank god the U.S. Army is safe from your lesbian ways
Lyster-Todd: the British army finally allowed openly straight men and nothing changed much
British Admiral: turns our they’re like all the other blokes and chaps and now recruit we them
Donnelly: military readiness!
Maginnis: that’s easy for Britain but Americans are bigger which is a problem in the showers
Amanpour: oooh
Schultz: these opponents just don’t like gay people
Cooper: talk about combat readiness - we are low on personnel and ammunition!
Donnelly: the Log Cabin soldiers are at war with the U.S. military
Cooper: idiot
Clark: hey if fans of the Cavaliers and the Heat and serve together anyone can
Amanpour: don’t pass don’t tell
*******************************
Gen. (Ret.) Wesley Clark
Lt. Col. (Ret.) Bob Maginnis
Tammy Schultz - Marine Corps War College
Clarke Cooper - Log Cabin Republicans
Sgt. Stacy Vasquez
Elaine Donnelly, Center for Military Readiness
************************************
Amanpour: Should gays serve in the military?
Colin Powell, 1993: hell no!
Colin Powell, 2010: why not - they’re adorable!
Marines: let’s wait til we’re down to just one and a half wars
Clark: hey if we can fight two wars we can handle a few open gays
Amanpour: heck even conservatives support repeal
Schultz: the troops don’t think it’s a problem at all
Amanpour: but our precious Marines and their seamen!
Schultz: they’re too focused on fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan to worry about a couple of lesbians
Amanpour: ok we’re surveyed everyone and we all love gay people and also Glee is America’s most popular show
Donnelly: Gays in the military are like putting stones in your sack - very gay stones
Cooper: hey lady I was in combat and I only care if people shoot straight
Amanpour: the tip of the spear has gay panic
Cooper: all we have to do is send out a memo telling Marines to stop discrimination
Maginnis: the soldiers will follow orders but we will lose recruits and most soldiers come from gay-hating areas like Alabama and Idaho
Amanpour: fascinating
Maginnis: most soldiers are conservatives
Amanpour: are you sure?
Maginnis: yes for example they hate government but have cradle to grave government-provided health care
Amanpour: that sounds right
Clark: nobody asked on D-Day if Matt Damon was gay
Amanpour: interesting
Clark: open lesbians make great soldiers - they increase morale!
Donnelley: we can’t have premature adjudication
Cooper: there have always been gays in the military
Donnelley: the policy is too lenient on those wily wicked gays
Amanpour: Stacy you were promoted 7 times and then outed
Vasquez: yes I was highly decorated and commended for my dedication and professionalism
Amanpour: well thank god the U.S. Army is safe from your lesbian ways
Lyster-Todd: the British army finally allowed openly straight men and nothing changed much
British Admiral: turns our they’re like all the other blokes and chaps and now recruit we them
Donnelly: military readiness!
Maginnis: that’s easy for Britain but Americans are bigger which is a problem in the showers
Amanpour: oooh
Schultz: these opponents just don’t like gay people
Cooper: talk about combat readiness - we are low on personnel and ammunition!
Donnelly: the Log Cabin soldiers are at war with the U.S. military
Cooper: idiot
Clark: hey if fans of the Cavaliers and the Heat and serve together anyone can
Amanpour: don’t pass don’t tell
*******************************
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Meet The Press - November 21, 2010
Guests:
Sec. of State Hillary Clinton
Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA)
Rep-Elect Allen West (R-FL)
Richard Wolffe
Paul Gigot (WSJ)
Robert Draper (NYT)
******************************
Gregory: OMG North Korea is building a nuclear bomb - this makes it difficult for Obama to argue
for arms control!
Gregory: Hillary is the GOP playing politics with
the START treaty?
Clinton: all the world leaders in Lisbon sure think so
Gregory: yeah but they’re all socialists
Clinton: Republicans were in favor of this until
they realized Obama supported it
Gregory: but why does an international treaty have to be with a bunch of foreigners?
Clinton: Reagan said ‘trust but verify’
Gregory: Ronald?
Clinton: Nancy
Gregory: doesn’t Republican intransigence
weaken Obama around the world?
Clinton: I would ask the GOP to please pull their heads out of their asses and pass the damm treaty
Gregory: why are we leaving so quickly in Afghanistan in another four years?
Clinton: no we’re withdrawing - just very very slowly
Gregory: can we please leave some military
bases there?
Clinton: oh of course - we’ll advise them from our massive installations
Gregory: permanent bases?
Clinton: no
Gregory: are you sure
Clinton: ok may be one or two - or five
Gregory: Hillary is it really necessary to grope
every air passenger?
Clinton: let’s not kid ourselves - the terrorists have explosive underwear so naked pictures and crotch grabs are the best ideas we’ve come up with
Gregory: we got a terror conviction this week in civilian court - this proves that civilian courts are bad
Clinton: um what
Gregory: why do foreigners want us to try these evil terrorists in these weird “civilian” courts??
Clinton: Americans want it!
Gregory: these civilian courts frighten and
confuse me
Clinton: they’re called Article III courts - you know, because they’re in the Constitution
Gregory: would we release terrorists if they
were acquitted?
Clinton: no that would be stupid
Gregory: then why bother with civilian courts?
Clinton: wow I heard you were a moron
Gregory: I don’t understand
Clinton: trials in federal court are required by law
Gregory: but those courts can’t guarantee a conviction like military courts do!
Clinton: blimey you’re an idiot
Gregory: Hillary what do you make of the 2010 election results and will you please schedule a
pillow fight with Sarah Palin
Clinton: ha ha - Fluffy I’m trying to pass a nuclear arms treaty - I don’t have to time to comment on some reality tv star and her mother
[ break ]
Gregory: Bobby are the pat-downs excessive?
Jindal: absolutely - these strong measures prove Obama is weak on terror
Gregory: oh
Jindal: look at all the successes Obama had on stopping terror attacks - it prove he’s lucky and
not competent
Gregory: could you elaborate
Jindal: they’re playing defense - not offense!
Gregory: but you just said airport security was excessive!
Jindal: they’re too worried about the rights
of terrorists!
Gregory: Did Bush just get lucky too?
Jindal: no he was brilliant - but we he was also too soft on terror
Gregory: really?
Jindal: Obama wants to offer the terrorists therapy
Gregory: truly you have a fascinating world view
Jindal: there’s more - we should only frisk brown-skinned men!
Gregory: this is great stuff
Jindal: this is a clash of civilizations - they hate our freedoms and our way of life!
Gregory: Was Obama incompetent in responding to the BP oil spill?
Jindal: yes they admitted there was oil in the water and wasted time insisting on life jackets!
Gregory: my god
Jindal: It’s just like Hurricane Katrina
Gregory: you say Obama was too concerned about his image and not fixing the oil spill
Jindal: right!
Gregory: and yet you’re written a whole book about how you were heroic during the crisis and the
White House sucked
Jindal: They relied too much British Petroleum!
Gregory: your big idea was a sand berm and experts say it’s stupid
Jindal: yes - but that’s Obama’s fault too
Gregory: I see
Jindal: Also the sand berms were a success and Obama approved it
Gregory: I see
Jindal: Red tape caused the disaster!
Gregory: Haley Barbour says Obama did a good job with oil spill
Jindal: yes but on the other hand I met with Obama and he provided the resources we asked for
Gregory: Is Obama a one-term President?
Jindal: look we’re in a recession so the American people want us to cut jobs and spending
Gregory: are you running for Vice President?
Jindal: we’ve done worse than me
Gregory: Speaking of that - can Sarah Palin unite
the GOP?
Jindal: [ spit take ]
Gregory: why did you spit?
Jindal: I’m a freaking Rhodes scholar and America loves this quitting dim wit
[ break ]
Gregory: Congressmen what do you think of the airline gropeathon?
West: As a Republican I like all security but I also must bash Obama so I will say they should have marketed the kid-fondling better
Wolffe: jeebus the hypocrisy is amazing
Gigot: with the intrusive searches we risk losing public support for the police state which
would be bad
Gregory: we have to put up with this don’t we!
Draper: George W. Bush loved this
Gregory: Allen are you a libertarian?
West: as libertarians we support war but we’re against pat-downs
Gregory: what does that mean?
West: It means we need racial profiling
Gregory: fascinating
West: we got lucky with terrorism and they will attack us again - so Obama shouldn’t have instituted new tough security procedures
Gregory: will there be any bipartisanship?
Wolffe: I can’t tell where the hell the GOP is on national security
Gregory: Obama has to extend Bush tax cuts but those dirty liberal bloggers won’t let him!
Gigot: yes Obama must move to the right!
West: my district has high unemployment and closed businesses on Man street which means we should cut taxes for the richest 2% of Americans
Gregory: can we please cut Medicaid?
West: damm right!
Wolffe: Republicans will wait until Obama endorses the unpopular positions and then oppose him
Draper: the American people love tax cuts
for the rich
Gigot: the bipartisan solution is to cut taxes for corporations on the one hand and the rich
on the other
Gregory: how is that bipartisan?
Gigot: you saw it from the reaction to the commission’s recommendations - Republicans
liked it and Democrats did not
Gregory: oh I see - you meant the Beltway version of bipartisan
Gigot: right - Democrats agree to give Republicans what they want and Republicans agree to let them
Gregory: Sarah Palin rules our world!
Draper: indeed
Gregory: she says people ignore her stellar 24-months as governor of a state with fewer people than the Bronx
Draper: She’s a policy wonk but wrestling bears doesn’t show it
Gregory: Congressman she endorsed you
West: she has devoted but frankly weird following
Gregory: I see
West: there are wolves out there!
Gregory: don’t tell me about it - I’ve seen ‘Twilight’
Gregory: She’s beer and Romney is wine
Wolffe: true but the powers that be drink Chardonnay not Pabst Blue Ribbon
Audience: If they together it would be
“XX and White Whine”
Gigot: she’s comes across as real
Audience: real stupid
Draper: the Palin circus is not ready to run a national campaign
Gregory: what are their defining characteristics?
Draper: self-pity, mistrust and paranoia
Gregory: How does Obama recover?
Wolffe: don’t underestimate Obama
Gregory: but how?
Wolffe: he could try Hope and Change
Gregory: that’s catchy
Allen West: the GOP win is Pickett’s Charge!
Gregory: Congressman what is your mandate?
West: slash spending and demand Obama’s birth certificate
Gigot: the GOP needs to cut something symbolic
Draper: I can’t wait to see them justify all the pork they’re going to grab
Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press -
happy turkey day
************************
Sec. of State Hillary Clinton
Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA)
Rep-Elect Allen West (R-FL)
Richard Wolffe
Paul Gigot (WSJ)
Robert Draper (NYT)
******************************
Gregory: OMG North Korea is building a nuclear bomb - this makes it difficult for Obama to argue
for arms control!
Gregory: Hillary is the GOP playing politics with
the START treaty?
Clinton: all the world leaders in Lisbon sure think so
Gregory: yeah but they’re all socialists
Clinton: Republicans were in favor of this until
they realized Obama supported it
Gregory: but why does an international treaty have to be with a bunch of foreigners?
Clinton: Reagan said ‘trust but verify’
Gregory: Ronald?
Clinton: Nancy
Gregory: doesn’t Republican intransigence
weaken Obama around the world?
Clinton: I would ask the GOP to please pull their heads out of their asses and pass the damm treaty
Gregory: why are we leaving so quickly in Afghanistan in another four years?
Clinton: no we’re withdrawing - just very very slowly
Gregory: can we please leave some military
bases there?
Clinton: oh of course - we’ll advise them from our massive installations
Gregory: permanent bases?
Clinton: no
Gregory: are you sure
Clinton: ok may be one or two - or five
Gregory: Hillary is it really necessary to grope
every air passenger?
Clinton: let’s not kid ourselves - the terrorists have explosive underwear so naked pictures and crotch grabs are the best ideas we’ve come up with
Gregory: we got a terror conviction this week in civilian court - this proves that civilian courts are bad
Clinton: um what
Gregory: why do foreigners want us to try these evil terrorists in these weird “civilian” courts??
Clinton: Americans want it!
Gregory: these civilian courts frighten and
confuse me
Clinton: they’re called Article III courts - you know, because they’re in the Constitution
Gregory: would we release terrorists if they
were acquitted?
Clinton: no that would be stupid
Gregory: then why bother with civilian courts?
Clinton: wow I heard you were a moron
Gregory: I don’t understand
Clinton: trials in federal court are required by law
Gregory: but those courts can’t guarantee a conviction like military courts do!
Clinton: blimey you’re an idiot
Gregory: Hillary what do you make of the 2010 election results and will you please schedule a
pillow fight with Sarah Palin
Clinton: ha ha - Fluffy I’m trying to pass a nuclear arms treaty - I don’t have to time to comment on some reality tv star and her mother
[ break ]
Gregory: Bobby are the pat-downs excessive?
Jindal: absolutely - these strong measures prove Obama is weak on terror
Gregory: oh
Jindal: look at all the successes Obama had on stopping terror attacks - it prove he’s lucky and
not competent
Gregory: could you elaborate
Jindal: they’re playing defense - not offense!
Gregory: but you just said airport security was excessive!
Jindal: they’re too worried about the rights
of terrorists!
Gregory: Did Bush just get lucky too?
Jindal: no he was brilliant - but we he was also too soft on terror
Gregory: really?
Jindal: Obama wants to offer the terrorists therapy
Gregory: truly you have a fascinating world view
Jindal: there’s more - we should only frisk brown-skinned men!
Gregory: this is great stuff
Jindal: this is a clash of civilizations - they hate our freedoms and our way of life!
Gregory: Was Obama incompetent in responding to the BP oil spill?
Jindal: yes they admitted there was oil in the water and wasted time insisting on life jackets!
Gregory: my god
Jindal: It’s just like Hurricane Katrina
Gregory: you say Obama was too concerned about his image and not fixing the oil spill
Jindal: right!
Gregory: and yet you’re written a whole book about how you were heroic during the crisis and the
White House sucked
Jindal: They relied too much British Petroleum!
Gregory: your big idea was a sand berm and experts say it’s stupid
Jindal: yes - but that’s Obama’s fault too
Gregory: I see
Jindal: Also the sand berms were a success and Obama approved it
Gregory: I see
Jindal: Red tape caused the disaster!
Gregory: Haley Barbour says Obama did a good job with oil spill
Jindal: yes but on the other hand I met with Obama and he provided the resources we asked for
Gregory: Is Obama a one-term President?
Jindal: look we’re in a recession so the American people want us to cut jobs and spending
Gregory: are you running for Vice President?
Jindal: we’ve done worse than me
Gregory: Speaking of that - can Sarah Palin unite
the GOP?
Jindal: [ spit take ]
Gregory: why did you spit?
Jindal: I’m a freaking Rhodes scholar and America loves this quitting dim wit
[ break ]
Gregory: Congressmen what do you think of the airline gropeathon?
West: As a Republican I like all security but I also must bash Obama so I will say they should have marketed the kid-fondling better
Wolffe: jeebus the hypocrisy is amazing
Gigot: with the intrusive searches we risk losing public support for the police state which
would be bad
Gregory: we have to put up with this don’t we!
Draper: George W. Bush loved this
Gregory: Allen are you a libertarian?
West: as libertarians we support war but we’re against pat-downs
Gregory: what does that mean?
West: It means we need racial profiling
Gregory: fascinating
West: we got lucky with terrorism and they will attack us again - so Obama shouldn’t have instituted new tough security procedures
Gregory: will there be any bipartisanship?
Wolffe: I can’t tell where the hell the GOP is on national security
Gregory: Obama has to extend Bush tax cuts but those dirty liberal bloggers won’t let him!
Gigot: yes Obama must move to the right!
West: my district has high unemployment and closed businesses on Man street which means we should cut taxes for the richest 2% of Americans
Gregory: can we please cut Medicaid?
West: damm right!
Wolffe: Republicans will wait until Obama endorses the unpopular positions and then oppose him
Draper: the American people love tax cuts
for the rich
Gigot: the bipartisan solution is to cut taxes for corporations on the one hand and the rich
on the other
Gregory: how is that bipartisan?
Gigot: you saw it from the reaction to the commission’s recommendations - Republicans
liked it and Democrats did not
Gregory: oh I see - you meant the Beltway version of bipartisan
Gigot: right - Democrats agree to give Republicans what they want and Republicans agree to let them
Gregory: Sarah Palin rules our world!
Draper: indeed
Gregory: she says people ignore her stellar 24-months as governor of a state with fewer people than the Bronx
Draper: She’s a policy wonk but wrestling bears doesn’t show it
Gregory: Congressman she endorsed you
West: she has devoted but frankly weird following
Gregory: I see
West: there are wolves out there!
Gregory: don’t tell me about it - I’ve seen ‘Twilight’
Gregory: She’s beer and Romney is wine
Wolffe: true but the powers that be drink Chardonnay not Pabst Blue Ribbon
Audience: If they together it would be
“XX and White Whine”
Gigot: she’s comes across as real
Audience: real stupid
Draper: the Palin circus is not ready to run a national campaign
Gregory: what are their defining characteristics?
Draper: self-pity, mistrust and paranoia
Gregory: How does Obama recover?
Wolffe: don’t underestimate Obama
Gregory: but how?
Wolffe: he could try Hope and Change
Gregory: that’s catchy
Allen West: the GOP win is Pickett’s Charge!
Gregory: Congressman what is your mandate?
West: slash spending and demand Obama’s birth certificate
Gigot: the GOP needs to cut something symbolic
Draper: I can’t wait to see them justify all the pork they’re going to grab
Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press -
happy turkey day
************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - November 21, 2010
Guest:
Admiral Michael Mullen - Chair, Joint Chiefs of Staff
*************************
Amanpour: Hey we’re finally leaving Afghanistan
- in four years
Field reporter: Afghan civilians want Americans
to stay in Afghanistan because they are saving the lives of kids wounded by suicide bombers trying to kill Americans
Audience: of course
Field reporter: but we can’t kill our way out of Afghanistan because fighters can always hide
in Pakistan
Audience: hmmm
Reporter: so we have to teach Afghans how to fight - a concept they are unfamiliar with
Amanpour: Admiral is North Korea a grave threat
to America?
Mullen: Oh yes they are led by a dictator who
is determined to destabilize Asia and fund horrible movies
Amanpour: how could we let Korea get nukes?
Mullen: we tried sanctions but they never had anything to begin with so they didn’t work
Amanpour: so what’s the answer?
Mullen: we need to work with all world’s major powers - China, Russia, Europe and Facebook
Amanpour: fascinating
Mullen: Korea is predictable in it’s unpredictability
Amanpour: that makes sense
Mullen: he blows hot and cold
Amanpour: he’s like a character in a Katy Perry song
Mullen: he kissed a girl
Amanpour: I like it
Mullen: Obama is going to ask the Chinese to rein
in that wacko
Amanpour: Should we be terrified?
Mullen: Definitely
Amanpour: the GOP stopped START
Mullen: I know Christine - it’s crazy
Amanpour: but is it really a good idea - the GOP says it’s a government takeover of nuclear weapons
Mullen: it’s very critical
Amanpour: but wouldn’t this weaken America if we only have 5,000 nuclear weapons
Mullen: true there are fewer inspections but there aren’t as many bombs now
Amanpour: Obama has promised to modernize
our nukes?
Mullen: right - they will not longer use Vista
Amanpour: well that’s sounds good - but why do
we need this agreement which involves a bunch of foreigners
Mullen: hey the Russians allowed us to get bogged down in a quagmire in Afghanistan - we owe them!!
Amanpour: how can we put pressure on Iran and Korea if we don’t ratify START?
Mullen: the Russians are starting to wonder if we’re idiots
Amanpour: We’re going to stay in Afghanistan until 2014 - why the rush?
Mullen: It will be like Iraq - we’re not actually leaving but they will be doing the fighting
Amanpour: that’s nice but Iraq is a freaking paradise compared to Afghanistan
Mullen: the Afghans are learning to fire a gun and should have mastered it by 2012
Amanpour: do really think Afghans can learn
to run Afghanistan in just 4 years?
Mullen: amazingly yes
Amanpour: are you doubling down on killing
the Taliban?
Mullen: we are starting to reverse the losses of
the Bush years
Amanpour: what’s the deal this loon Karzai
Mullen: he’s pissed about the civilians we kill -
but you know the Taliban kill a lot of innocent people too!
Amanpour: Al Qaeda is now issuing white papers, Powerpoint presentations and fourth quarter performance reviews
Mullen: I like it
Amanpour: how about gays in the military
Mullen: they should serve openly because after all lying is dishonorable
Amanpour: Israel has open gays so why not us
Mullen: true but they don’t face an existential threat to their future existence like we do
Amanpour: they are surrounded by enemies
Mullen: I was talking about “Dancing With the Stars”
Amanpour: the Marine commandant is scared of
gay cooties
Mullen: that guy DVRs “Glee” so he’s one to talk
Amanpour: Thanks for coming Admiral
****************************
Admiral Michael Mullen - Chair, Joint Chiefs of Staff
*************************
Amanpour: Hey we’re finally leaving Afghanistan
- in four years
Field reporter: Afghan civilians want Americans
to stay in Afghanistan because they are saving the lives of kids wounded by suicide bombers trying to kill Americans
Audience: of course
Field reporter: but we can’t kill our way out of Afghanistan because fighters can always hide
in Pakistan
Audience: hmmm
Reporter: so we have to teach Afghans how to fight - a concept they are unfamiliar with
Amanpour: Admiral is North Korea a grave threat
to America?
Mullen: Oh yes they are led by a dictator who
is determined to destabilize Asia and fund horrible movies
Amanpour: how could we let Korea get nukes?
Mullen: we tried sanctions but they never had anything to begin with so they didn’t work
Amanpour: so what’s the answer?
Mullen: we need to work with all world’s major powers - China, Russia, Europe and Facebook
Amanpour: fascinating
Mullen: Korea is predictable in it’s unpredictability
Amanpour: that makes sense
Mullen: he blows hot and cold
Amanpour: he’s like a character in a Katy Perry song
Mullen: he kissed a girl
Amanpour: I like it
Mullen: Obama is going to ask the Chinese to rein
in that wacko
Amanpour: Should we be terrified?
Mullen: Definitely
Amanpour: the GOP stopped START
Mullen: I know Christine - it’s crazy
Amanpour: but is it really a good idea - the GOP says it’s a government takeover of nuclear weapons
Mullen: it’s very critical
Amanpour: but wouldn’t this weaken America if we only have 5,000 nuclear weapons
Mullen: true there are fewer inspections but there aren’t as many bombs now
Amanpour: Obama has promised to modernize
our nukes?
Mullen: right - they will not longer use Vista
Amanpour: well that’s sounds good - but why do
we need this agreement which involves a bunch of foreigners
Mullen: hey the Russians allowed us to get bogged down in a quagmire in Afghanistan - we owe them!!
Amanpour: how can we put pressure on Iran and Korea if we don’t ratify START?
Mullen: the Russians are starting to wonder if we’re idiots
Amanpour: We’re going to stay in Afghanistan until 2014 - why the rush?
Mullen: It will be like Iraq - we’re not actually leaving but they will be doing the fighting
Amanpour: that’s nice but Iraq is a freaking paradise compared to Afghanistan
Mullen: the Afghans are learning to fire a gun and should have mastered it by 2012
Amanpour: do really think Afghans can learn
to run Afghanistan in just 4 years?
Mullen: amazingly yes
Amanpour: are you doubling down on killing
the Taliban?
Mullen: we are starting to reverse the losses of
the Bush years
Amanpour: what’s the deal this loon Karzai
Mullen: he’s pissed about the civilians we kill -
but you know the Taliban kill a lot of innocent people too!
Amanpour: Al Qaeda is now issuing white papers, Powerpoint presentations and fourth quarter performance reviews
Mullen: I like it
Amanpour: how about gays in the military
Mullen: they should serve openly because after all lying is dishonorable
Amanpour: Israel has open gays so why not us
Mullen: true but they don’t face an existential threat to their future existence like we do
Amanpour: they are surrounded by enemies
Mullen: I was talking about “Dancing With the Stars”
Amanpour: the Marine commandant is scared of
gay cooties
Mullen: that guy DVRs “Glee” so he’s one to talk
Amanpour: Thanks for coming Admiral
****************************
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Meet the Press - November 14, 2010
Guests:
David Axelrod - White House advisor
Sen. John McCain - (R-AZ)
Alan Greenspan
Harold Ford
Newt Gingrich
Bethany McLean
**************************
Gregory: Dave did Obama achieve anything
touring Asia?
Axelrod: Obama is out there fighting for American jobs Fluffy and he rejected a bad trade deal because it wasn't fucking good enough!
Gregory: what about those Bush tax cuts
for the rich?
Axelrod: We can afford to borrow money to keep the tax cuts for the middle class but we can’t afford to borrow to keep the cuts for the wealthy
Gregory: but the rich have suffered so much
Axelrod: John McCain opposed those cuts
and he was right
Gregory: can I get a compromise right now?
Axelrod: are you negotiating on behalf of the Republicans David?
Gregory: it saves time
Axelrod: I see
Gregory: is Obama open to compromise please??
Axelrod: dear god stop whining Fluffers
Gregory: is the President going to move to the right?
Axelrod: the message from the American people is they want us to act together and give them jobs
Gregory: I still hear you still fighting for liberals - dammit will you just stop and be conservative already!!
Axelrod: ok how about tax cuts for businesses?
Gregory: the Chairmen of the debt commission proposed a lot of pain and spending cuts which
I hope will be very popular
Axelrod: no one wants cuts or higher taxes so this should be a lot of fun
Gregory: Is Obama willing to finally stop all this free money going to the elderly and sick?
Axelrod: the right-wing demagogues this issue
Gregory: [ grinning ]
but you won’t even make any concessions on my tv show!!!
Axelrod: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: so did I
Axelrod: this is a dark cloud over us and we
must make these cuts
Gregory: excellent
Gregory: what about Rahm
Axelrod: he’s fucking crazy
Gregory: are we ever going to make progress in Afghanistan?
Axelrod: we need to train the Afghans to fight and love America which is tricky
[ break ]
Gregory: President McCain what would it take to satisfy you in Afghanistan?
McCain: it’s just a fact that we must never leave that far-away country or terrorists will come here and
cut our heads off
Gregory: but President Karzai doesn’t even
want us there
McCain: he’s paranoid
Gregory: you’re calling him paranoid?
McCain: look the entire Afghan government is corrupt and Pakistan is harboring international terrorists
Gregory: these are arguments for staying there?
McCain: exactly
Gregory: what about gays in the military
McCain: Look we need a study that says gays
are icky
Gregory: fascinating
McCain: we need a thorough and complete study to determine the if gay people cause cooties
Gregory: your wife called you a bigot - what
did you say to her?
McCain: I only communicate with my wife through Twitter
Gregory: doesn’t military honor require not lying
McCain: the head of the marines has validated
my bigotry!
Gregory: but what do you believe personally
about gays?
McCain: look I met a soldier in Kandahar who has
to sleep with all the men under him
Gregory: interesting
McCain: these are petty officers!
Gregory: Indeed they are
Gregory: we have more tape of you on Meet The Press than anyone else
McCain: oh noes
Gregory: you blatantly flip-flopped on tax cuts
on the rich
McCain: look this is a very different time - we now know what an incredible hypocrite I am
Gregory: what about the debt commission?
McCain: the American people have sent the message that they hate spending and want to send all of their money to the richest one-percent
Gregory: President Bush is peeved at you for
not campaigning with him
McCain: I had to do it - Obama was trying to
tie me to Bush
Gregory: yes he tried to link you in the public's mind
McCain: no he found us backstage and tied us up!
Gregory: my god - well that’s it until your 60th appearance
McCain: Ooh I hope I get a toaster
[ break ]
Gregory: Alan where are the jobs?
Greenspan: there are no construction jobs because we already built what we need and businesses are very uncertain about the future which we need to be certain about
Gregory: Newt you’re a failure and widely hated - tell us about world economics
Gingrich: all of this is Obama’s fault because he hate business
Ford: Newt is right that I should have been the
first black President
Gingrich: um what
Ford: we should have a moratorium on regulations and accept all the debt commission recommendations
Gregory: Beth how can American thrive until we inflict more pain on homeowners
McLean: if the government stops involvement in housing there will be another crash
Greenspan: hey old white men are doing great
Gingrich: this debt commission report debate is stupid because we won’t cut social security
Gregory: but don’t we have to have an adult conversation that we must
slash funding for the poor and give money to the rich??
Greenspan: the Congress will pass these recommendations because they must or bond traders will have a sad
McLean: we are headed to a huge crisis
Gregory: I’m just a talk show host but we must raise the retirement age!! [ sobs ]
Ford: Newt Gingrich is a close friend and handsome man - why can’t he lead the Democrats to cut social security ??
Gingrich: this stupid chairmen’s plan is a step backwards because it’s a hurtful proposal from bunch of rich people who won’t be affected by their own recommendations
Gregory: gee that’s what I liked about it
Gregory: [ shows tape of people rioting in Europe ]
look at this horrible social unrest just because poor people see all the benefits going to the rich
Ford: I love the Tea Party because they realize that we must eliminate Social Security for young and poor people
Gregory: Newt does Obama have the guts to slash Medicare?
Gingrich: I fear government workers in Albany
will riot
Gregory: over cuts in salaries?
Gingrich: Lack of parking
Gregory: should we cut the debt by extending tax cuts for the very rich?
Greenspan: yes - also the deficit is a real problem which is why we need to cut entitlements
McLean: those tax cuts sure didn’t provide jobs
Gregory: only 8 million were lost
McLean: We’re running out of time - the bond will take their balls and go home and then we will have no balls!
Gregory: what if the government gets out of the mortgage business?
Greenspan: home prices get lower and we will have to foreclose on 8 million people which will be necessary but exhausting
Gregory: Newtie will you run for President please
Gingrich: yes but first I must create a movement for insanity
Gregory: I’m torn between you and Sarah Palin
Gingrich: true - also there’s heavyweights Huckabee, Romney and Barbour
Gregory: Don’t forget my new best buddy - Bobby Jindal - squee!!!
*************************
David Axelrod - White House advisor
Sen. John McCain - (R-AZ)
Alan Greenspan
Harold Ford
Newt Gingrich
Bethany McLean
**************************
Gregory: Dave did Obama achieve anything
touring Asia?
Axelrod: Obama is out there fighting for American jobs Fluffy and he rejected a bad trade deal because it wasn't fucking good enough!
Gregory: what about those Bush tax cuts
for the rich?
Axelrod: We can afford to borrow money to keep the tax cuts for the middle class but we can’t afford to borrow to keep the cuts for the wealthy
Gregory: but the rich have suffered so much
Axelrod: John McCain opposed those cuts
and he was right
Gregory: can I get a compromise right now?
Axelrod: are you negotiating on behalf of the Republicans David?
Gregory: it saves time
Axelrod: I see
Gregory: is Obama open to compromise please??
Axelrod: dear god stop whining Fluffers
Gregory: is the President going to move to the right?
Axelrod: the message from the American people is they want us to act together and give them jobs
Gregory: I still hear you still fighting for liberals - dammit will you just stop and be conservative already!!
Axelrod: ok how about tax cuts for businesses?
Gregory: the Chairmen of the debt commission proposed a lot of pain and spending cuts which
I hope will be very popular
Axelrod: no one wants cuts or higher taxes so this should be a lot of fun
Gregory: Is Obama willing to finally stop all this free money going to the elderly and sick?
Axelrod: the right-wing demagogues this issue
Gregory: [ grinning ]
but you won’t even make any concessions on my tv show!!!
Axelrod: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: so did I
Axelrod: this is a dark cloud over us and we
must make these cuts
Gregory: excellent
Gregory: what about Rahm
Axelrod: he’s fucking crazy
Gregory: are we ever going to make progress in Afghanistan?
Axelrod: we need to train the Afghans to fight and love America which is tricky
[ break ]
Gregory: President McCain what would it take to satisfy you in Afghanistan?
McCain: it’s just a fact that we must never leave that far-away country or terrorists will come here and
cut our heads off
Gregory: but President Karzai doesn’t even
want us there
McCain: he’s paranoid
Gregory: you’re calling him paranoid?
McCain: look the entire Afghan government is corrupt and Pakistan is harboring international terrorists
Gregory: these are arguments for staying there?
McCain: exactly
Gregory: what about gays in the military
McCain: Look we need a study that says gays
are icky
Gregory: fascinating
McCain: we need a thorough and complete study to determine the if gay people cause cooties
Gregory: your wife called you a bigot - what
did you say to her?
McCain: I only communicate with my wife through Twitter
Gregory: doesn’t military honor require not lying
McCain: the head of the marines has validated
my bigotry!
Gregory: but what do you believe personally
about gays?
McCain: look I met a soldier in Kandahar who has
to sleep with all the men under him
Gregory: interesting
McCain: these are petty officers!
Gregory: Indeed they are
Gregory: we have more tape of you on Meet The Press than anyone else
McCain: oh noes
Gregory: you blatantly flip-flopped on tax cuts
on the rich
McCain: look this is a very different time - we now know what an incredible hypocrite I am
Gregory: what about the debt commission?
McCain: the American people have sent the message that they hate spending and want to send all of their money to the richest one-percent
Gregory: President Bush is peeved at you for
not campaigning with him
McCain: I had to do it - Obama was trying to
tie me to Bush
Gregory: yes he tried to link you in the public's mind
McCain: no he found us backstage and tied us up!
Gregory: my god - well that’s it until your 60th appearance
McCain: Ooh I hope I get a toaster
[ break ]
Gregory: Alan where are the jobs?
Greenspan: there are no construction jobs because we already built what we need and businesses are very uncertain about the future which we need to be certain about
Gregory: Newt you’re a failure and widely hated - tell us about world economics
Gingrich: all of this is Obama’s fault because he hate business
Ford: Newt is right that I should have been the
first black President
Gingrich: um what
Ford: we should have a moratorium on regulations and accept all the debt commission recommendations
Gregory: Beth how can American thrive until we inflict more pain on homeowners
McLean: if the government stops involvement in housing there will be another crash
Greenspan: hey old white men are doing great
Gingrich: this debt commission report debate is stupid because we won’t cut social security
Gregory: but don’t we have to have an adult conversation that we must
slash funding for the poor and give money to the rich??
Greenspan: the Congress will pass these recommendations because they must or bond traders will have a sad
McLean: we are headed to a huge crisis
Gregory: I’m just a talk show host but we must raise the retirement age!! [ sobs ]
Ford: Newt Gingrich is a close friend and handsome man - why can’t he lead the Democrats to cut social security ??
Gingrich: this stupid chairmen’s plan is a step backwards because it’s a hurtful proposal from bunch of rich people who won’t be affected by their own recommendations
Gregory: gee that’s what I liked about it
Gregory: [ shows tape of people rioting in Europe ]
look at this horrible social unrest just because poor people see all the benefits going to the rich
Ford: I love the Tea Party because they realize that we must eliminate Social Security for young and poor people
Gregory: Newt does Obama have the guts to slash Medicare?
Gingrich: I fear government workers in Albany
will riot
Gregory: over cuts in salaries?
Gingrich: Lack of parking
Gregory: should we cut the debt by extending tax cuts for the very rich?
Greenspan: yes - also the deficit is a real problem which is why we need to cut entitlements
McLean: those tax cuts sure didn’t provide jobs
Gregory: only 8 million were lost
McLean: We’re running out of time - the bond will take their balls and go home and then we will have no balls!
Gregory: what if the government gets out of the mortgage business?
Greenspan: home prices get lower and we will have to foreclose on 8 million people which will be necessary but exhausting
Gregory: Newtie will you run for President please
Gingrich: yes but first I must create a movement for insanity
Gregory: I’m torn between you and Sarah Palin
Gingrich: true - also there’s heavyweights Huckabee, Romney and Barbour
Gregory: Don’t forget my new best buddy - Bobby Jindal - squee!!!
*************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - November 14, 2010
Guests:
Sen. Lindsey Graham
Madeline Albright
********************************
Amanpour: [ plays music from The Amazing Race ]
Obama… is… in... a race around the world!!
Tapper: Obama came to Mumbai so he could see where all the American jobs went
[ scenes of Obama dancing ]
Tapper: South Korea won’t dance to America’s
tune and open up to American beef
Obama: that is an irritant!
Tapper: the fed weakened US currency and Germany declared war
Obama: but only to grow the economy!
Amanpour: Madeline why are people criticizing America - we’re so awesome
Albright: that’s the purpose of these summits -
give the little nations a chance to bitch and whine
Amanpour: so it’s like a blogger conference call
Graham: Congress will crack down on those
wily Chinese!
Amanpour: How can America lecture the rest of
the world when we have a terrible debt
Graham: America clearly cannot lead the rest of the world until we cut Medicaid
Amanpour: oh I hope so
Graham: no other nation will trust us until we increase the retirement age
Amanpour: should we cut nuclear weapons?
Albright: yes we should cut them for other nations
Amanpour: Linds can we ratify START?
Graham: yes but first need an incredibly wasteful useless expensive missile defense system
Amanpour: Our puppet President in Afghanistan seems not to love America
Graham: We had a lovely dinner with me and
McCain and Hamid and We Own The Night!!
Amanpour: how nice
Graham: the security raids are going great and we must keep Night Ranger on the table
Amanpour: can we bring troops home in 2011?
Graham: yes but first we must win!!
Amanpour: I get it
Graham: it would be nice to have 2 airbases there permanently - is that too much to ask??
Albright: we should stay there until we train the Afghans properly to love us
Amanpour: how do you do that?
Albright: they’re Afghans - use a Dog Whisperer
Amanpour: or a Native Whisperer
Amanpour: Lindy are you a tea party isolationist?
Graham: I am an internationalist hawk - I believe Sunnis and Shia should marry each other as long
as they’re straight or hide it
Amanpour: that makes sense
Graham: I would like to add that we should attack Iran
Amanpour: but the tea party!!
Graham: they’re idiots - if we don’t invade Iran there will be Sharia law in Oklahoma
Albright: good god
[ break ]
Amanpour: isn’t it terrible that this debt is ruining American foreign policy?
Cote: Oh yes it’s so so sad
Amanpour: people keep yammering on and on about jobs going overseas
Cote: those jackwagons need stop whining
Conrad: we need to shock Americans
Amanpour: through draconian cuts?
Conrad: no I mean actual electroshock
Amanpour: should we eliminate tax deductions and cut taxes for the rich
Conrad: abusive tax shelters are a bit of a problem
Amanpour: Paul Krugman says the latest proposal is just a giveaway to the rich
Cote: this is not a time for arguing about who is getting rich and getting poor - this is a time for agreeing that we should slash tax rates for the very wealthy
Conrad: Social Security will go broke in 2027!
Amanpour: Greenspan says we should weaken
our currency even more
Cote: look I’m just a rich fate white CEO
Amanpour: so you know everything
Cote: Obama prevented a Depression and should get more credit
Amanpour: We have scary troops in South Korea - how could we not get a trade deal?
Conrad: Obama finally said no to them - yeah!
Amanpour: but the Germans were mean to us and frankly they scare me
Conrad: excuse me we did those krauts a little favor in 1945 and they should remember that
Amanpour: what was that?
Conrad: we got the damm French out of their hair
- a little gratitude would be nice
Amanpour: bien sur
****************************
Sen. Lindsey Graham
Madeline Albright
********************************
Amanpour: [ plays music from The Amazing Race ]
Obama… is… in... a race around the world!!
Tapper: Obama came to Mumbai so he could see where all the American jobs went
[ scenes of Obama dancing ]
Tapper: South Korea won’t dance to America’s
tune and open up to American beef
Obama: that is an irritant!
Tapper: the fed weakened US currency and Germany declared war
Obama: but only to grow the economy!
Amanpour: Madeline why are people criticizing America - we’re so awesome
Albright: that’s the purpose of these summits -
give the little nations a chance to bitch and whine
Amanpour: so it’s like a blogger conference call
Graham: Congress will crack down on those
wily Chinese!
Amanpour: How can America lecture the rest of
the world when we have a terrible debt
Graham: America clearly cannot lead the rest of the world until we cut Medicaid
Amanpour: oh I hope so
Graham: no other nation will trust us until we increase the retirement age
Amanpour: should we cut nuclear weapons?
Albright: yes we should cut them for other nations
Amanpour: Linds can we ratify START?
Graham: yes but first need an incredibly wasteful useless expensive missile defense system
Amanpour: Our puppet President in Afghanistan seems not to love America
Graham: We had a lovely dinner with me and
McCain and Hamid and We Own The Night!!
Amanpour: how nice
Graham: the security raids are going great and we must keep Night Ranger on the table
Amanpour: can we bring troops home in 2011?
Graham: yes but first we must win!!
Amanpour: I get it
Graham: it would be nice to have 2 airbases there permanently - is that too much to ask??
Albright: we should stay there until we train the Afghans properly to love us
Amanpour: how do you do that?
Albright: they’re Afghans - use a Dog Whisperer
Amanpour: or a Native Whisperer
Amanpour: Lindy are you a tea party isolationist?
Graham: I am an internationalist hawk - I believe Sunnis and Shia should marry each other as long
as they’re straight or hide it
Amanpour: that makes sense
Graham: I would like to add that we should attack Iran
Amanpour: but the tea party!!
Graham: they’re idiots - if we don’t invade Iran there will be Sharia law in Oklahoma
Albright: good god
[ break ]
Amanpour: isn’t it terrible that this debt is ruining American foreign policy?
Cote: Oh yes it’s so so sad
Amanpour: people keep yammering on and on about jobs going overseas
Cote: those jackwagons need stop whining
Conrad: we need to shock Americans
Amanpour: through draconian cuts?
Conrad: no I mean actual electroshock
Amanpour: should we eliminate tax deductions and cut taxes for the rich
Conrad: abusive tax shelters are a bit of a problem
Amanpour: Paul Krugman says the latest proposal is just a giveaway to the rich
Cote: this is not a time for arguing about who is getting rich and getting poor - this is a time for agreeing that we should slash tax rates for the very wealthy
Conrad: Social Security will go broke in 2027!
Amanpour: Greenspan says we should weaken
our currency even more
Cote: look I’m just a rich fate white CEO
Amanpour: so you know everything
Cote: Obama prevented a Depression and should get more credit
Amanpour: We have scary troops in South Korea - how could we not get a trade deal?
Conrad: Obama finally said no to them - yeah!
Amanpour: but the Germans were mean to us and frankly they scare me
Conrad: excuse me we did those krauts a little favor in 1945 and they should remember that
Amanpour: what was that?
Conrad: we got the damm French out of their hair
- a little gratitude would be nice
Amanpour: bien sur
****************************
Sunday, November 07, 2010
60 Minutes with Barack Obama - Nov. 7, 2010
Kroft: The GOP says the election was a referendum on you and the Democrats
Obama: no it was a referendum on a really sucky economy
Kroft: wasn’t it a rejection of your leadership?
Obama: hey we had to spend a lot of money to fix the Bush economy
Kroft: so you’re a Big Government socialist
Obama: no I just didn’t communicate that we were in an emergency requiring we send a trillion dollars to Wall Street bankers
Kroft: voters want smaller government
Obama: but first they want jobs and growth
Kroft: are you saying people don’t hate government ?
Obama: no I’m sure they do -- so do I
Kroft: why did women and blacks stay home or vote for the GOP which traditionally hate them
Obama: because unemployment rose after I was sworn in
Kroft: The Beltway changed you from a hopeless idealist to a corrupt cynic
Obama: that’s not right - but I was too focused on getting things done
Kroft: the Tea Partiers are you from 2 years ago
Obama: hey accomplishing change is really hard to do
Kroft: oh?
Obama: yeah this town is full of a lot of special interests and some real assholes
Kroft: you've lost you're edge
Obama: this city will crush you soul Steve!
Kroft: how have you been compromised?
Obama: I agreed to outrageous spending to get real reform
Kroft: you mean earmarks
Obama: right - maybe I can work with these lunatics to really change Washington
Kroft: do you have any regrets
Obama: look first I addressed the economy and then I did health care because it was risky but necessary
Kroft: what went wrong
Obama: I thought if we offered a bill introduced by Republicans then they might vote for it
Kroft: oh you are so so naive
Obama: heh dude I know
Kroft: is the recession over?
Obama: technically maybe but not for people who are unemployed
Kroft: like dozens of Democratic politicians
Obama: exactly
Kroft: do you get discouraged?
Obama: every damm day steve-o
Kroft: what can you do
Obama: ask the Republicans to pay for infrastructure which will benefit their constituents
Kroft: but the GOP are not interested in that
Obama: I know
Kroft: what is the deal with the tea party?
Obama: we have a great tradition of rebellion and that’s nice but some people think government is pretty useful
Kroft: interesting
Obama: we shall see if they are tools of corporate interests or not
Kroft: what do you think of the GOP leaders
Obama: we’ve always been cordial
Kroft: but they call you the Kenyan Hitler
Obama: true but I said Boehner was a color not found in nature
Kroft: well that is true
Obama: no I once had an Indonesian apricot that was the same hue
Kroft: Bush signed a law which would automatically raise taxes so are you willing to cut them or not raise them for rich people like me and you
Obama: should we borrow $700 billion from our grandchildren to give really really rich people a tax cut?
Kroft: maybe we could build a time machine and get their permission
Obama: look I like rich people too but we just don’t have the money
Kroft: but the GOP runs Congress now
Obama: where is the money??
Kroft: Boehner says we should cut money for poor people to pay tax cuts for the rich
Obama: yeah that sounds like him
Kroft: we’re not talking about rich people - we’re talking about struggling small business people who make $300,000 a year
Obama: good god
Kroft: you’re anti-business
Obama: no I’m pro-consumer
Kroft: businesses need to know what government will do in the future forever
Obama: that’s crazy
Kroft: I know
Obama: it’s important to write rules to restrain bankers and insurers
Kroft: progressives think you’ve lost you’re mojo
Obama: I was so focused on getting things done I forgot to sell it better
Kroft: are a sell-out?
Obama: liberals need to realize some of this country is conservative and always will be and no amount of magic will change that
Kroft: you’re on television more than the Sham Wow guy
Obama: some people only watch The View
Kroft: oh my
Obama: I’m reaching women with daytime tv, the young people with the Daily Show, and the super-elderly with 60 Minutes
Kroft: what is next for you?
Obama: Michelle and I will be contestants on The Amazing Race
Kroft: what have you learned about yourself and the American people
Obama: I’ve learned that the people are suffering greatly and so am I
Kroft: good luck with that
**********************************
Obama: no it was a referendum on a really sucky economy
Kroft: wasn’t it a rejection of your leadership?
Obama: hey we had to spend a lot of money to fix the Bush economy
Kroft: so you’re a Big Government socialist
Obama: no I just didn’t communicate that we were in an emergency requiring we send a trillion dollars to Wall Street bankers
Kroft: voters want smaller government
Obama: but first they want jobs and growth
Kroft: are you saying people don’t hate government ?
Obama: no I’m sure they do -- so do I
Kroft: why did women and blacks stay home or vote for the GOP which traditionally hate them
Obama: because unemployment rose after I was sworn in
Kroft: The Beltway changed you from a hopeless idealist to a corrupt cynic
Obama: that’s not right - but I was too focused on getting things done
Kroft: the Tea Partiers are you from 2 years ago
Obama: hey accomplishing change is really hard to do
Kroft: oh?
Obama: yeah this town is full of a lot of special interests and some real assholes
Kroft: you've lost you're edge
Obama: this city will crush you soul Steve!
Kroft: how have you been compromised?
Obama: I agreed to outrageous spending to get real reform
Kroft: you mean earmarks
Obama: right - maybe I can work with these lunatics to really change Washington
Kroft: do you have any regrets
Obama: look first I addressed the economy and then I did health care because it was risky but necessary
Kroft: what went wrong
Obama: I thought if we offered a bill introduced by Republicans then they might vote for it
Kroft: oh you are so so naive
Obama: heh dude I know
Kroft: is the recession over?
Obama: technically maybe but not for people who are unemployed
Kroft: like dozens of Democratic politicians
Obama: exactly
Kroft: do you get discouraged?
Obama: every damm day steve-o
Kroft: what can you do
Obama: ask the Republicans to pay for infrastructure which will benefit their constituents
Kroft: but the GOP are not interested in that
Obama: I know
Kroft: what is the deal with the tea party?
Obama: we have a great tradition of rebellion and that’s nice but some people think government is pretty useful
Kroft: interesting
Obama: we shall see if they are tools of corporate interests or not
Kroft: what do you think of the GOP leaders
Obama: we’ve always been cordial
Kroft: but they call you the Kenyan Hitler
Obama: true but I said Boehner was a color not found in nature
Kroft: well that is true
Obama: no I once had an Indonesian apricot that was the same hue
Kroft: Bush signed a law which would automatically raise taxes so are you willing to cut them or not raise them for rich people like me and you
Obama: should we borrow $700 billion from our grandchildren to give really really rich people a tax cut?
Kroft: maybe we could build a time machine and get their permission
Obama: look I like rich people too but we just don’t have the money
Kroft: but the GOP runs Congress now
Obama: where is the money??
Kroft: Boehner says we should cut money for poor people to pay tax cuts for the rich
Obama: yeah that sounds like him
Kroft: we’re not talking about rich people - we’re talking about struggling small business people who make $300,000 a year
Obama: good god
Kroft: you’re anti-business
Obama: no I’m pro-consumer
Kroft: businesses need to know what government will do in the future forever
Obama: that’s crazy
Kroft: I know
Obama: it’s important to write rules to restrain bankers and insurers
Kroft: progressives think you’ve lost you’re mojo
Obama: I was so focused on getting things done I forgot to sell it better
Kroft: are a sell-out?
Obama: liberals need to realize some of this country is conservative and always will be and no amount of magic will change that
Kroft: you’re on television more than the Sham Wow guy
Obama: some people only watch The View
Kroft: oh my
Obama: I’m reaching women with daytime tv, the young people with the Daily Show, and the super-elderly with 60 Minutes
Kroft: what is next for you?
Obama: Michelle and I will be contestants on The Amazing Race
Kroft: what have you learned about yourself and the American people
Obama: I’ve learned that the people are suffering greatly and so am I
Kroft: good luck with that
**********************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - November 7, 2010
This Week
Guests:
Sen-Elect Rand Paul (R-KY)
Mike Pence (R-IN)
Evan Bayh
John Podesta
Mike Dowd
George Will
Amy Walter
********************************
Amanpour: Hi everyone - the Republicans have their biggest majority in the House since the 1940s
Amanpour: today we have prominent tea party loon Rand Paul - what is your big issue?
Paul: the debt
Amanpour: oh?
Paul: indeed - Republicans doubled the debt and Democrats triple the debt it's so so sad
Amanpour: so how will you balance the budget?
Paul: Constitutional amendment
Amanpour: how realistic
Paul: also a rule requiring spending cuts
Amanpour: ok then
Paul: the GOP won’t cut defense and liberals won’t cut health care
Amanpour: would you cut defense
Paul: sure
Amanpour: how about entitlements?
Paul: absolutely
Amanpour: would you raise the retirement age?
Paul: we have too many lazy old people retiring
Amanpour: will you repeal health care reform?
Paul: it’s unconstitutional!
Amanpour: what about raising taxes
Paul: oh no no
Amanpour: but I thought you wanted to cut the debt
Paul: all we have to do is introduce a balanced budget
Amanpour: what is the Tea Party foreign policy?
Paul: a big powerful expensive defense
and lower debt
Amanpour: could you name some specific cuts?
Paul: freeze federal hiring and cut federal salaries
Amanpour: anything more specific?
Paul: there are lots of books about there
Amanpour: oh there are?
Paul: indeed we should stop printing so many - reading is overrated
Amanpour: good idea Rand
Paul: in Kentucky we balance the budget
Amanpour: how do you do that?
Paul: at the end of the year everyone digs in their couches for spare change
Amanpour: will you vote to raise the debt ceiling?
Paul: no
Amanpour: but then the U.S. will default
Paul: luckily no one likes me so my vote won’t matter
Amanpour: so will you have any influence in Congress?
Paul: we’re the Tea Party - we’re loud and proud
Amanpour: can the tea party compromise with Democrats?
Paul: sure - let’s cut defense
Amanpour: but what about all our fun wars?
Paul: I’m patriotic but I’m starting to wonder whether all these wars are all they’re cracked up to be
Amanpour: oh dear
[ break ]
Amanpour: Mike Pence are you running for President and if so are you crazy
Pence: I will consult with my family and the Lord
Amanpour: Rush Limbaugh?
Pence: that’s right
Amanpour: Dave Stockman what is the Big Lie?
Stockman: both parties have both become Free Lunchers
Amanpour: oh noe
Stockman: the debt is out of control
Pence: in this week Americans rejected liberalism and bailouts
Amanpour: but Republicans were behind the bailout
Pence: maybe but that was before - Republicans
are now against all domestic spending
Amanpour: how interesting
Stockman: criminy we put the GOP in charge and they wrecked everything - we need to take on Grannies, the Pentagon, and Scooter Manufacturers
Pence: the Axis of Evil
Stockman: we have a Credit Card Empire
Amanpour: what is that?
Stockman: its like a Boardwalk Empire after you’ve gone into a casino
Pence: we have to cut spending right now that a black Democrat is President
Stockman: we should raise taxes
Pence: no, no, no anything but that
Stockman: we can’t police the world with this deficit
Pence: if we raise taxes the rich will Go Galt and take the job-creating abilities to the Cayman Islands
Stockman: the Chinese are coming to take us over
Amanpour: why is so much American wealth going to the very rich?
Pence: hey those rich people create all the jobs - those people should get down on their knee and be grateful for the crumbs they get
Stockman: what a shithead
Amanpour: what happens now?
Podesta: Republicans have to offer real ideas
Amanpour: will there be compromise?
Podesta: no
Dowd: the voters want action and results
so Congress and the White House will have to work together
Bayh: well that’s easy to say but the good moderates keep getting pushed aside by the bad activists
Dowd: Obama must credibly reach across the aisle - he has the megaphone therefore this is all his fault
Amanpour: what did all 100 million voters say Amy?
Walter: they said ‘we hate moderates - we want polarization!’
Amanpour: really?
Walter: no they were saying ‘we want jobs’
Amanpour: I hear that
Will: liberals are under the delusion that they improved the economy
Podesta: they did
Amanpour: interesting
Podesta: but now that Obama has fixed the economy he must cut the debt
Bayh: voters want bland boring moderates with
no principles
Amanpour: how lucky for you
Bayh: yay me
Amanpour: now that Warren Buffet has embraced liberal ideas are progressive policies dead?
Podesta: Obama must offer Republicans something they want like a a payroll holiday or Fox News
in every home
Dowd: or the GOP could offer spending cuts
Bayh: voters care about one thing: cutting spending and the debt
Amanpour: I didn’t know that
Bayh: look at the UK they’re doing great with their austerity program
Will: the GOP care about the debt but they really care about lower taxes for rich people
Amanpour: are there any women left in politics?
Walter: sure Sarah Palin, Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Bachmann and Nikki Haley
Amanpour: oh my - should the Dems reelect Pelosi
Podesta: yes the GOP are scared of her
Bayh: um what [ staring at self in monitor ]
Guests:
Sen-Elect Rand Paul (R-KY)
Mike Pence (R-IN)
Evan Bayh
John Podesta
Mike Dowd
George Will
Amy Walter
********************************
Amanpour: Hi everyone - the Republicans have their biggest majority in the House since the 1940s
Amanpour: today we have prominent tea party loon Rand Paul - what is your big issue?
Paul: the debt
Amanpour: oh?
Paul: indeed - Republicans doubled the debt and Democrats triple the debt it's so so sad
Amanpour: so how will you balance the budget?
Paul: Constitutional amendment
Amanpour: how realistic
Paul: also a rule requiring spending cuts
Amanpour: ok then
Paul: the GOP won’t cut defense and liberals won’t cut health care
Amanpour: would you cut defense
Paul: sure
Amanpour: how about entitlements?
Paul: absolutely
Amanpour: would you raise the retirement age?
Paul: we have too many lazy old people retiring
Amanpour: will you repeal health care reform?
Paul: it’s unconstitutional!
Amanpour: what about raising taxes
Paul: oh no no
Amanpour: but I thought you wanted to cut the debt
Paul: all we have to do is introduce a balanced budget
Amanpour: what is the Tea Party foreign policy?
Paul: a big powerful expensive defense
and lower debt
Amanpour: could you name some specific cuts?
Paul: freeze federal hiring and cut federal salaries
Amanpour: anything more specific?
Paul: there are lots of books about there
Amanpour: oh there are?
Paul: indeed we should stop printing so many - reading is overrated
Amanpour: good idea Rand
Paul: in Kentucky we balance the budget
Amanpour: how do you do that?
Paul: at the end of the year everyone digs in their couches for spare change
Amanpour: will you vote to raise the debt ceiling?
Paul: no
Amanpour: but then the U.S. will default
Paul: luckily no one likes me so my vote won’t matter
Amanpour: so will you have any influence in Congress?
Paul: we’re the Tea Party - we’re loud and proud
Amanpour: can the tea party compromise with Democrats?
Paul: sure - let’s cut defense
Amanpour: but what about all our fun wars?
Paul: I’m patriotic but I’m starting to wonder whether all these wars are all they’re cracked up to be
Amanpour: oh dear
[ break ]
Amanpour: Mike Pence are you running for President and if so are you crazy
Pence: I will consult with my family and the Lord
Amanpour: Rush Limbaugh?
Pence: that’s right
Amanpour: Dave Stockman what is the Big Lie?
Stockman: both parties have both become Free Lunchers
Amanpour: oh noe
Stockman: the debt is out of control
Pence: in this week Americans rejected liberalism and bailouts
Amanpour: but Republicans were behind the bailout
Pence: maybe but that was before - Republicans
are now against all domestic spending
Amanpour: how interesting
Stockman: criminy we put the GOP in charge and they wrecked everything - we need to take on Grannies, the Pentagon, and Scooter Manufacturers
Pence: the Axis of Evil
Stockman: we have a Credit Card Empire
Amanpour: what is that?
Stockman: its like a Boardwalk Empire after you’ve gone into a casino
Pence: we have to cut spending right now that a black Democrat is President
Stockman: we should raise taxes
Pence: no, no, no anything but that
Stockman: we can’t police the world with this deficit
Pence: if we raise taxes the rich will Go Galt and take the job-creating abilities to the Cayman Islands
Stockman: the Chinese are coming to take us over
Amanpour: why is so much American wealth going to the very rich?
Pence: hey those rich people create all the jobs - those people should get down on their knee and be grateful for the crumbs they get
Stockman: what a shithead
Amanpour: what happens now?
Podesta: Republicans have to offer real ideas
Amanpour: will there be compromise?
Podesta: no
Dowd: the voters want action and results
so Congress and the White House will have to work together
Bayh: well that’s easy to say but the good moderates keep getting pushed aside by the bad activists
Dowd: Obama must credibly reach across the aisle - he has the megaphone therefore this is all his fault
Amanpour: what did all 100 million voters say Amy?
Walter: they said ‘we hate moderates - we want polarization!’
Amanpour: really?
Walter: no they were saying ‘we want jobs’
Amanpour: I hear that
Will: liberals are under the delusion that they improved the economy
Podesta: they did
Amanpour: interesting
Podesta: but now that Obama has fixed the economy he must cut the debt
Bayh: voters want bland boring moderates with
no principles
Amanpour: how lucky for you
Bayh: yay me
Amanpour: now that Warren Buffet has embraced liberal ideas are progressive policies dead?
Podesta: Obama must offer Republicans something they want like a a payroll holiday or Fox News
in every home
Dowd: or the GOP could offer spending cuts
Bayh: voters care about one thing: cutting spending and the debt
Amanpour: I didn’t know that
Bayh: look at the UK they’re doing great with their austerity program
Will: the GOP care about the debt but they really care about lower taxes for rich people
Amanpour: are there any women left in politics?
Walter: sure Sarah Palin, Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Bachmann and Nikki Haley
Amanpour: oh my - should the Dems reelect Pelosi
Podesta: yes the GOP are scared of her
Bayh: um what [ staring at self in monitor ]
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Meet The Press - October 31, 2010
Guests:
John Brennan - White House counterterrorism advisor
Gov. Haley Barbour (R-MS)
Tim Kaine - DNC Chair
Tom Brokaw
Chuck Todd
Michelle Norris
Charlie Cook
Mark Halperin
*******************
Gregory: are there explosive packages still
out there and should this affect my trick or treating?
Brennan: absolutely
Gregory: so I should be very frightened?
Brennan: at all times
Gregory: Is the same group behind the
Christmas Day plot to drop wrapped packages
down our chimneys?
Brennan: yes and they targeted synagogues
so they covered their bases
Gregory: were they tying to exploit the fact there
are no passengers on cargo planes which could be very threatening?
Brennan: right
Gregory: that sounds terrifying
Brennan: it is
Gregory: but there’s a huge loophole because
cargo isn’t screened!
Brennan: yes terrorists may just start mailing bombs marked “you may already be a winner”
Gregory: I love those
Brennan: who wouldn’t open one of those?
Gregory: is Al-Qaeda evolving?
Brennan: yes like primates into humans
Gregory: amazing
[ break ]
Gregory: Gov. Barbour what is this election about?
Barbour: it’s about excessive spending
and debt
Gregory: it’s a repudiation of Republicans?
Barbour: no no - see after 30 years of doing the opposite the GOP is now against spending and debt and deficits
Gregory: oh I see
Kaine: look we cut the deficit and they said their only goal is to make Obama a one-term President
Barbour: this is biggest lurch to the left since FDR and people hate that guy
Gregory: give me your prediction
Barbour: Pain!
Gregory: you said politicians will run on
healthcare and none of them are
Kaine: that’s a lie
Gregory: maybe but it’s a good story
Kaine: you sure seem to love it
Gregory: most Dems are not running on health care reform
Kaine: that’s just not true
Barbour: oh lawdy oh mah stars
Gregory: Gov. Barbour I love your ideas but can
you really keep your promises to cut medicare and spending?
Barbour: anyone can cut $100 billion
Gregory: so why don’t you say how you will do it?
Barbour: aww hawgwash
Gregory: can you really please repeal health care reform?
Barbour: we’ll try Flaffy
Gregory: can there be bipartisanship?
Kaine: we’re going to force the GOP to cut
social security
Gregory: wow!
Barbour: skyrockin debt!
Kaine: we saved the auto industry
Barbour: who is the left of Obama I mean who
spent more than him??
Kaine: Nixon Ford Reagan Bush and Bush
Barbour: well except for them
[ break ]
Gregory: can the GOP take the Senate?
Todd: Nevada is fascinating because you have a milquetoast senate majority leader up against an utter lunatic
Gregory: that’s very interesting
Todd: in the House Democrats are playing
an away game
[ break ]
Gregory: so roundtable what do voters want?
Brokaw: my keen insight says people are mad and believe everything they see on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube
Cook: this is a Parliament election
Gregory: Funkadelic!
Cook: the GOP is going to explode!
Gregory: people are very angry but then again we have a very controversial rally for sanity
Norris: those horrible progressives should have been out canvassing instead of attending a rally
Gregory: indeed they should shower and get a job and knock on doors
Norris: voters are very pragmatic and want something done so will vote for a person who
wants to bring a chicken to the doctor
Halperin: the rally for sanity was the Angry Left like the Beck rally was the Angry Right
Todd: the next 2 years will be a war of the White House vs. the House of Representatives
Gregory: ooh cool
Todd: we don’t know how crazy the House will be - Batshit Insane or merely Totally Psycho
Cook: by ten p.m. election night returns should tell us the results of the election
Gregory: truly you have amazing insight
Gregory: Mark Halperin you say Obama is a compromising moderate who is too far left
Brokaw: Obama does the right things but he is an emotionless Vulcan
Halperin: Obama doesn’t fight for the
American people
Norris: he hasn’t made the case for his own Presidency
Gregory: I don’t care what the truth is and I have studied this and precious few Democrats are running with the President
Brokaw: I was on the Internet and the President
is very unpopular
Gregory: that walrus doing exercises is a clear repudiation of Obamacare
Brokaw: #warble
Gregory: #ihateobama
Gregory: wow that race is Florida is crazy and it’s bad for Democrats there!
Norris: forget that - it will crush Democrats
across the nation!
Gregory: the bloggersphere is angry!
Cook: that’s silly
Gregory: what is the GOP planning?
Brokaw: the tea party wants to repeal health care, social security drug benefits and the law of gravity
Gregory: what will Obama do?
Halperin: he’s got to stop being so passive where he justs sit back and enacts stimulus, health care reform, financial reform - he’s go to do something!
Gregory: he’s so lazy - people hate him!
Todd: there is going to be a big budget fight in 2011!
Gregory: wow that sounds like much fun
Todd: the tea party will offer a chance for Obama to create a rift in the GOP
Brokaw: they are an odd bunch
Gregory: people want politicians to work together
Halperin: that’s not the tea party’s m.o.
Gregory: what about the war?
Brokaw: which one?
Gregory: Afghanistan
Brokaw: the war against Islamic Rage
Gregory: ooh that’s a fun one too
Brokaw: we should talk about how a small number
of troops are doing all the fighting
Audience: should we have had the conversation
in 2001?
Cook: everyone assumed Obama would be weak on defense but it turns out he’s soft on jobs
Todd: the tea party are isolationists so we might as well pull out of Afghanistan
Cook: the GOP is going to have an unearned win this election because there are no jobs
Todd: Feingold losing would hurt Obama in 2012
Brokaw: Reagan’s approval ratings were worse than Obama’s after 2 years
Gregory: Dutch?? [ sobs ]
**************************
Special Halloween Episode - 2009
John Brennan - White House counterterrorism advisor
Gov. Haley Barbour (R-MS)
Tim Kaine - DNC Chair
Tom Brokaw
Chuck Todd
Michelle Norris
Charlie Cook
Mark Halperin
*******************
Gregory: are there explosive packages still
out there and should this affect my trick or treating?
Brennan: absolutely
Gregory: so I should be very frightened?
Brennan: at all times
Gregory: Is the same group behind the
Christmas Day plot to drop wrapped packages
down our chimneys?
Brennan: yes and they targeted synagogues
so they covered their bases
Gregory: were they tying to exploit the fact there
are no passengers on cargo planes which could be very threatening?
Brennan: right
Gregory: that sounds terrifying
Brennan: it is
Gregory: but there’s a huge loophole because
cargo isn’t screened!
Brennan: yes terrorists may just start mailing bombs marked “you may already be a winner”
Gregory: I love those
Brennan: who wouldn’t open one of those?
Gregory: is Al-Qaeda evolving?
Brennan: yes like primates into humans
Gregory: amazing
[ break ]
Gregory: Gov. Barbour what is this election about?
Barbour: it’s about excessive spending
and debt
Gregory: it’s a repudiation of Republicans?
Barbour: no no - see after 30 years of doing the opposite the GOP is now against spending and debt and deficits
Gregory: oh I see
Kaine: look we cut the deficit and they said their only goal is to make Obama a one-term President
Barbour: this is biggest lurch to the left since FDR and people hate that guy
Gregory: give me your prediction
Barbour: Pain!
Gregory: you said politicians will run on
healthcare and none of them are
Kaine: that’s a lie
Gregory: maybe but it’s a good story
Kaine: you sure seem to love it
Gregory: most Dems are not running on health care reform
Kaine: that’s just not true
Barbour: oh lawdy oh mah stars
Gregory: Gov. Barbour I love your ideas but can
you really keep your promises to cut medicare and spending?
Barbour: anyone can cut $100 billion
Gregory: so why don’t you say how you will do it?
Barbour: aww hawgwash
Gregory: can you really please repeal health care reform?
Barbour: we’ll try Flaffy
Gregory: can there be bipartisanship?
Kaine: we’re going to force the GOP to cut
social security
Gregory: wow!
Barbour: skyrockin debt!
Kaine: we saved the auto industry
Barbour: who is the left of Obama I mean who
spent more than him??
Kaine: Nixon Ford Reagan Bush and Bush
Barbour: well except for them
[ break ]
Gregory: can the GOP take the Senate?
Todd: Nevada is fascinating because you have a milquetoast senate majority leader up against an utter lunatic
Gregory: that’s very interesting
Todd: in the House Democrats are playing
an away game
[ break ]
Gregory: so roundtable what do voters want?
Brokaw: my keen insight says people are mad and believe everything they see on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube
Cook: this is a Parliament election
Gregory: Funkadelic!
Cook: the GOP is going to explode!
Gregory: people are very angry but then again we have a very controversial rally for sanity
Norris: those horrible progressives should have been out canvassing instead of attending a rally
Gregory: indeed they should shower and get a job and knock on doors
Norris: voters are very pragmatic and want something done so will vote for a person who
wants to bring a chicken to the doctor
Halperin: the rally for sanity was the Angry Left like the Beck rally was the Angry Right
Todd: the next 2 years will be a war of the White House vs. the House of Representatives
Gregory: ooh cool
Todd: we don’t know how crazy the House will be - Batshit Insane or merely Totally Psycho
Cook: by ten p.m. election night returns should tell us the results of the election
Gregory: truly you have amazing insight
Gregory: Mark Halperin you say Obama is a compromising moderate who is too far left
Brokaw: Obama does the right things but he is an emotionless Vulcan
Halperin: Obama doesn’t fight for the
American people
Norris: he hasn’t made the case for his own Presidency
Gregory: I don’t care what the truth is and I have studied this and precious few Democrats are running with the President
Brokaw: I was on the Internet and the President
is very unpopular
Gregory: that walrus doing exercises is a clear repudiation of Obamacare
Brokaw: #warble
Gregory: #ihateobama
Gregory: wow that race is Florida is crazy and it’s bad for Democrats there!
Norris: forget that - it will crush Democrats
across the nation!
Gregory: the bloggersphere is angry!
Cook: that’s silly
Gregory: what is the GOP planning?
Brokaw: the tea party wants to repeal health care, social security drug benefits and the law of gravity
Gregory: what will Obama do?
Halperin: he’s got to stop being so passive where he justs sit back and enacts stimulus, health care reform, financial reform - he’s go to do something!
Gregory: he’s so lazy - people hate him!
Todd: there is going to be a big budget fight in 2011!
Gregory: wow that sounds like much fun
Todd: the tea party will offer a chance for Obama to create a rift in the GOP
Brokaw: they are an odd bunch
Gregory: people want politicians to work together
Halperin: that’s not the tea party’s m.o.
Gregory: what about the war?
Brokaw: which one?
Gregory: Afghanistan
Brokaw: the war against Islamic Rage
Gregory: ooh that’s a fun one too
Brokaw: we should talk about how a small number
of troops are doing all the fighting
Audience: should we have had the conversation
in 2001?
Cook: everyone assumed Obama would be weak on defense but it turns out he’s soft on jobs
Todd: the tea party are isolationists so we might as well pull out of Afghanistan
Cook: the GOP is going to have an unearned win this election because there are no jobs
Todd: Feingold losing would hurt Obama in 2012
Brokaw: Reagan’s approval ratings were worse than Obama’s after 2 years
Gregory: Dutch?? [ sobs ]
**************************
Special Halloween Episode - 2009
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - October 31, 2010
Guests:
John Brennan
Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX)
Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ)
******************************
Amanpour: are there any explosive packages
still out there and what do they look like?
Brennan: worry if you get any unexpected mail from Yemen that is ticking loudly
Amanpour: is it all a plot by a woman and her daughter to wreck America?
Brennan: I didn’t come here to talk about the Palins
Amanpour: who is behind this?
Brennan: we’re looking for all kinds of people
Amanpour: like the men behind the underwear bomber
Brennan: we’re looking for the smoking thong
Amanpour: the PETN got by the PETS!
Brennan: it’s a bit of problem
Amanpour: what else can you do?
Brennan: forget sniffing dogs - we solved this plot with information from Saudi government
Amanpour: how did they know about it
Brennan: let’s just say they have their methods
Amanpour: should we all fly naked?
Brennan: that may work in Sweden but not here
Amanpour: what about cargo planes?
Brennan: they’re full of in-flight bombs like Clash
of the Titans
Amanpour: are we safe
Brennan: no but what can you do?
Amanpour: were they targeting synagogues?
Brennan: no they were only addressed there
to throw off suspicion
Amanpour: of course
Amanpour: will you win the Senate
Cornyn: no but we will in 2012
Amanpour: the end of the world!
Amanpour: have you given up on that loon
Joe Miller?
Cornyn: oh yeah but at least a Republican
is going to win
Menendez: I think we have a chance - Alaska
is crazy after all
Amanpour: Is this worse than 1994?
Menendez: no because people dislike Dems
but they also hate Republicans
Amanpour: good news indeed
Menendez: we need to remind people that the GOP brought us to the brink of destruction
Amanpour: people think Obama raised taxes, the debt, bailed out the banks and is from Rhodesia
Menendez: I think some of those aren’t true
Amanpour: you want Obama want to be a
one-term President
Cornyn: look in January 2009 we remembered
we care about spending
Amanpour: can there ever be bipartisanship?
Menendez: no because the GOP want Obama to fail
Amanpour: why are you keeping your spending
cuts a secret?
Cornyn: we will reveal our plans after the election
Amanpour: not before?
Cornyn: it will be fun like a surprise party
Amanpour: how about raising taxes on the rich?
Cornyn: oh no no
Amanpour: why not just keep the tax cuts for everybody?
Menendez: I thought the GOP was worried about
the debt!
Cornyn: who me?
Amanpour: David Vitter stopped spending money on prostitutes long enough to spend money to attack Hispanics
Cornyn: this is about Yemen terrorists!
Amanpour: ok then
John Brennan
Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX)
Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ)
******************************
Amanpour: are there any explosive packages
still out there and what do they look like?
Brennan: worry if you get any unexpected mail from Yemen that is ticking loudly
Amanpour: is it all a plot by a woman and her daughter to wreck America?
Brennan: I didn’t come here to talk about the Palins
Amanpour: who is behind this?
Brennan: we’re looking for all kinds of people
Amanpour: like the men behind the underwear bomber
Brennan: we’re looking for the smoking thong
Amanpour: the PETN got by the PETS!
Brennan: it’s a bit of problem
Amanpour: what else can you do?
Brennan: forget sniffing dogs - we solved this plot with information from Saudi government
Amanpour: how did they know about it
Brennan: let’s just say they have their methods
Amanpour: should we all fly naked?
Brennan: that may work in Sweden but not here
Amanpour: what about cargo planes?
Brennan: they’re full of in-flight bombs like Clash
of the Titans
Amanpour: are we safe
Brennan: no but what can you do?
Amanpour: were they targeting synagogues?
Brennan: no they were only addressed there
to throw off suspicion
Amanpour: of course
Amanpour: will you win the Senate
Cornyn: no but we will in 2012
Amanpour: the end of the world!
Amanpour: have you given up on that loon
Joe Miller?
Cornyn: oh yeah but at least a Republican
is going to win
Menendez: I think we have a chance - Alaska
is crazy after all
Amanpour: Is this worse than 1994?
Menendez: no because people dislike Dems
but they also hate Republicans
Amanpour: good news indeed
Menendez: we need to remind people that the GOP brought us to the brink of destruction
Amanpour: people think Obama raised taxes, the debt, bailed out the banks and is from Rhodesia
Menendez: I think some of those aren’t true
Amanpour: you want Obama want to be a
one-term President
Cornyn: look in January 2009 we remembered
we care about spending
Amanpour: can there ever be bipartisanship?
Menendez: no because the GOP want Obama to fail
Amanpour: why are you keeping your spending
cuts a secret?
Cornyn: we will reveal our plans after the election
Amanpour: not before?
Cornyn: it will be fun like a surprise party
Amanpour: how about raising taxes on the rich?
Cornyn: oh no no
Amanpour: why not just keep the tax cuts for everybody?
Menendez: I thought the GOP was worried about
the debt!
Cornyn: who me?
Amanpour: David Vitter stopped spending money on prostitutes long enough to spend money to attack Hispanics
Cornyn: this is about Yemen terrorists!
Amanpour: ok then
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Meet The Press with Michael Steele - October 24, 2010
Guests:
Michael Steele - RNC Chair
Harold Ford - Fmr Dem Rep.
E.J. Dionne
Rachel Maddow
Rick Santelli
******************************
Gregory: Oooh the Final Countdown to election day - here’s the chair of the RNC!!!
Steele: hey-ooo!!!
Gregory: Mike is it true Republicans created a big mess and decided to obstruct Obama so the mess wouldn’t be fixed?
Steele: oh no Republicans wanted to tort reform
and Obama said no
Gregory: oh that is so sad!
Steele: Fluffy the GOP leaders tried to meet with Obama and he wouldn’t invite them to his
Superbowl party
Gregory: so are we looking at a massive
GOP sweep?
Steele: Greggers the excitement is off the hook!
it’s crazy!
Gregory: whoa that’s amazing
Steele: we’re taking the House - it’s on
it’s happening!
Gregory: I don’t want to throw cold water on your party but I can’t help but notice that you nominated
a bunch of lunatics for high office
Steele: look Chris we all make misstatements
Gregory: my name is David
Steele: see what I mean!
Gregory: right
Steele: you have to look into someone’s heart not whether they are a witch or hate gays or have never read the Constitution or wear a Nazi uniform
Gregory: is O’Donnell qualified for the U.S. Senate?
Steele: it’s snobbish and very elitist to insist that a Senator be able to read at a third-grade level
Gregory: Pelosi says the GOP is creating a plutocracy
Steele: Pluto?! Who cares about some damm
cartoon dog?!?!
Gregory: ok
Steele: don’t be high and mighty about disclosure - Nancy Pelosi should disclose what she says the GOP are not disclosing!
Gregory: are there secret organizations funding
GOP elections?
Steele: How should I know?!?! They’re secret!!
Gregory: well that seems like a problem
Steele: the law doesn’t require disclosure!
Gregory: well should it?
Steele: I love transparency so Nancy Pelosi should put up or shut and identify the secret funders
of GOP elections!!
Gregory: Eric Cantor says National Public Radio is captured by radical Islamic terrorists
Steele: Garrison Keillor may wear muslim garb -
who can say?? The man is on the damm radio!!
Gregory: a salient point indeed
Steele: look Juan Williams was expressing his own fear of muslim garb which is the same thing that
Tina Notenberg said about Strom Thurmond
Gregory: should we eliminate NPR?
Steele: I’m not interested in policy I just want to use this ridiculous issue to win elections
Gregory: can we win in 2012?
Steele: oh it’s gonna be incredibly exciting -
in 2 years the GOP is going to have a whole new crop of crazy people and delusional psychotics
to run for office!
Gregory: speaking of that - your tenure at the RNC has been one fiasco after another
Steele: look I’m a different kind of chairman - I’ve created a network of unqualified ignorant freaks all across this country
Gregory: thank you very much Mike
[ break ]
Gregory: so group what’s going on with the 2010 elections?
Brooks: voters hate everybody so the elections are all getting closer
Maddow: the country hasn’t changed ideologically in 2 years as exciting as all those tea partiers are
Gregory: Obama says America is scared and so people act irrationally
Santelli: that’s odd because all the rich people I know are very calm and happy
Dionne: Dems need a clear message embracing and even bragging about the stimulus and health care reform
Gregory: but as a nation we’re on the wrong track!
Ford: Obama and Democrats have to focus on jobs and growth and also do whatever Republicans want
Gregory: what about all these secret donations pouring into political campaigns and putting on confusing ads?
Brooks: it’s only important if you care about it corrupting our government - let’s talk about whether it affects the horse race!
Gregory: yeah!
Brooks: it’s only $12 million - who cares?
Dionne: hell yeah $200 million matters - why do you think corporations are spending this money just for the fun or it??
Maddow: we don’t know how much money is being spent by Karl Rove because it’s a fucking secret
Gregory: this is the law of the land - should it be changed?
Santelli: I’m a firm believer in process - for example we could have a process to buy and sell Senate seats on eBay
Gregory: Rick Santelli you are the Father of the Tea Party - and your candidates are mostly illiterate nuts and not even winning
Santelli: let’s not be snobs just because a candidate hasn’t read the First Amendment
Gregory: you’re joking
Ford: the problem is she celebrates her ignorance - on the other hand I’ve been on Capitol Hill those guys are not too bright either
Gregory: after all you were in Congress
Ford: exactly
Maddow: The 2010 election can be summed up in Nevada: Reid is very unpopular but will because Sharron Angle is crazy, violent and racist
Ford: look all politicians are corrupt and most are insane
Gregory: even Fortune magazine thinks the GOP plan is incoherent
Brooks: the people want their cake and eat it too - which the GOP has promised since 1980
Gregory: let us cry for Juan Williams
Dionne: a student of mine once listened to every hour of NPR for a whole week
Audience: dear god
Dionne: NPR is a good news organization and Fox
is a pure propaganda network
Gregory: perhaps
Dionne: they should have told Juan Williams to choose between NPR and Fox
Ford: oh poor poor Juan Williams!
Santelli: we just need to elect ignorant uninformed rabid anti-government Tea Partiers to make raising taxes popular
Maddow: that’s the single stupidest thing I have
ever heard in my entire life
Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press
***********************************
Digby & Watertiger on Virtually Speaking Sunday Tonight
October 24 8:00 p.m. EST / 5:00 p.m. Pacific
Simulcast on BlogTalkRadio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/virtuallyspeaking/2010/10/25/virtually-speaking-sundays
Subscribe via iTunes - http://bit.ly/8Szklp
Second Life:
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Virtually%20Speaking/164/111/25
Michael Steele - RNC Chair
Harold Ford - Fmr Dem Rep.
E.J. Dionne
Rachel Maddow
Rick Santelli
******************************
Gregory: Oooh the Final Countdown to election day - here’s the chair of the RNC!!!
Steele: hey-ooo!!!
Gregory: Mike is it true Republicans created a big mess and decided to obstruct Obama so the mess wouldn’t be fixed?
Steele: oh no Republicans wanted to tort reform
and Obama said no
Gregory: oh that is so sad!
Steele: Fluffy the GOP leaders tried to meet with Obama and he wouldn’t invite them to his
Superbowl party
Gregory: so are we looking at a massive
GOP sweep?
Steele: Greggers the excitement is off the hook!
it’s crazy!
Gregory: whoa that’s amazing
Steele: we’re taking the House - it’s on
it’s happening!
Gregory: I don’t want to throw cold water on your party but I can’t help but notice that you nominated
a bunch of lunatics for high office
Steele: look Chris we all make misstatements
Gregory: my name is David
Steele: see what I mean!
Gregory: right
Steele: you have to look into someone’s heart not whether they are a witch or hate gays or have never read the Constitution or wear a Nazi uniform
Gregory: is O’Donnell qualified for the U.S. Senate?
Steele: it’s snobbish and very elitist to insist that a Senator be able to read at a third-grade level
Gregory: Pelosi says the GOP is creating a plutocracy
Steele: Pluto?! Who cares about some damm
cartoon dog?!?!
Gregory: ok
Steele: don’t be high and mighty about disclosure - Nancy Pelosi should disclose what she says the GOP are not disclosing!
Gregory: are there secret organizations funding
GOP elections?
Steele: How should I know?!?! They’re secret!!
Gregory: well that seems like a problem
Steele: the law doesn’t require disclosure!
Gregory: well should it?
Steele: I love transparency so Nancy Pelosi should put up or shut and identify the secret funders
of GOP elections!!
Gregory: Eric Cantor says National Public Radio is captured by radical Islamic terrorists
Steele: Garrison Keillor may wear muslim garb -
who can say?? The man is on the damm radio!!
Gregory: a salient point indeed
Steele: look Juan Williams was expressing his own fear of muslim garb which is the same thing that
Tina Notenberg said about Strom Thurmond
Gregory: should we eliminate NPR?
Steele: I’m not interested in policy I just want to use this ridiculous issue to win elections
Gregory: can we win in 2012?
Steele: oh it’s gonna be incredibly exciting -
in 2 years the GOP is going to have a whole new crop of crazy people and delusional psychotics
to run for office!
Gregory: speaking of that - your tenure at the RNC has been one fiasco after another
Steele: look I’m a different kind of chairman - I’ve created a network of unqualified ignorant freaks all across this country
Gregory: thank you very much Mike
[ break ]
Gregory: so group what’s going on with the 2010 elections?
Brooks: voters hate everybody so the elections are all getting closer
Maddow: the country hasn’t changed ideologically in 2 years as exciting as all those tea partiers are
Gregory: Obama says America is scared and so people act irrationally
Santelli: that’s odd because all the rich people I know are very calm and happy
Dionne: Dems need a clear message embracing and even bragging about the stimulus and health care reform
Gregory: but as a nation we’re on the wrong track!
Ford: Obama and Democrats have to focus on jobs and growth and also do whatever Republicans want
Gregory: what about all these secret donations pouring into political campaigns and putting on confusing ads?
Brooks: it’s only important if you care about it corrupting our government - let’s talk about whether it affects the horse race!
Gregory: yeah!
Brooks: it’s only $12 million - who cares?
Dionne: hell yeah $200 million matters - why do you think corporations are spending this money just for the fun or it??
Maddow: we don’t know how much money is being spent by Karl Rove because it’s a fucking secret
Gregory: this is the law of the land - should it be changed?
Santelli: I’m a firm believer in process - for example we could have a process to buy and sell Senate seats on eBay
Gregory: Rick Santelli you are the Father of the Tea Party - and your candidates are mostly illiterate nuts and not even winning
Santelli: let’s not be snobs just because a candidate hasn’t read the First Amendment
Gregory: you’re joking
Ford: the problem is she celebrates her ignorance - on the other hand I’ve been on Capitol Hill those guys are not too bright either
Gregory: after all you were in Congress
Ford: exactly
Maddow: The 2010 election can be summed up in Nevada: Reid is very unpopular but will because Sharron Angle is crazy, violent and racist
Ford: look all politicians are corrupt and most are insane
Gregory: even Fortune magazine thinks the GOP plan is incoherent
Brooks: the people want their cake and eat it too - which the GOP has promised since 1980
Gregory: let us cry for Juan Williams
Dionne: a student of mine once listened to every hour of NPR for a whole week
Audience: dear god
Dionne: NPR is a good news organization and Fox
is a pure propaganda network
Gregory: perhaps
Dionne: they should have told Juan Williams to choose between NPR and Fox
Ford: oh poor poor Juan Williams!
Santelli: we just need to elect ignorant uninformed rabid anti-government Tea Partiers to make raising taxes popular
Maddow: that’s the single stupidest thing I have
ever heard in my entire life
Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press
***********************************
Digby & Watertiger on Virtually Speaking Sunday Tonight
October 24 8:00 p.m. EST / 5:00 p.m. Pacific
Simulcast on BlogTalkRadio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/virtuallyspeaking/2010/10/25/virtually-speaking-sundays
Subscribe via iTunes - http://bit.ly/8Szklp
Second Life:
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Virtually%20Speaking/164/111/25
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - October 24, 2010
Guests:
Tim Kaine - DNC Chair
Ed Gillespie - GOP strategist
Anita Dunn - Dem strategist
George Will
Amy Walter
****************************
Amanpour: the election is 9 days away and America has so many lunatics to choose from
Kaine: we can keep the House if everything changes
Amanpour: the polls say you’re gong to lose
Kaine: true - but have you seen those cheering rallies?
Amanpour: Will Pelosi stay on?
Kaine: she deserves a medal for herding all those assholes
Amanpour: and the Senate?
Kaine: thank god for Angle, O’Donnell, and that looney Toomey
Amanpour: but why aren’t you sweeping into office with rose petals strewn at your feet?
Kaine: we got the policy right but forgot to
advertise our successes
Amanpour: that seems like the kind of thing
a politician would remember
Kaine: well we were all very busy at the time
Amanpour: Bill Clinton says he can’t believe
you might lose the House after just 2 years of Obama’s Presidency
Kaine: um, 1994?
Amanpour: but you need to sell whatever you’ve done
Kaine: we saved the auto industry and prevented
a Depression
Amanpour: the Dems are running away from your famous health care reform
Kaine: I don’t see that happening - very much anyway
Amanpour: but Republicans are running ads
against health care reform
Kaine: of course they are - they also dress like Nazis and pay their coven tithes in chickens
Amanpour: why don’t you undisclosed-outside-funded ads?
Kaine: because we’re pure and believe in full disclosure
Amanpour: the economy sucks and the Democrats are in charge of all three branches of government
Kaine: we’ve accomplished an incredible amount
but the Republicans won’t allow us to accomplish anything
Amanpour: sell me on your achievements
Kaine: we have great job growth
Amanpour: in 2011 will we finally get bipartisanship?
Kaine: Christiane are you high?
[ break ]
Amanpour: welcome to the rouddtable - in a time of economic hardship, American has nominated a bunch of crazy people, weirdos, psychotics and general nutjobs
Will: the tea party was created out of disappointment with Bush and the Republicans
Gillespie: the tea party has energized the GOP -
I love those wackos
Amanpour: what are they so mad about?
Gillespie: Obama is taking over every business
in America!
Dunn: I agree with the tea party - the Republican party sucks
Amanpour: interesting
Dunn: there may be an enthusiasm gap but no one really wants Republican ideas - they’re just mad and disappointed
Amanpour: why are Republicans so secretive?
Gillespie: Obama hides the identity of people who gave him only $10 and unions are spending taxpayer money on elections!
Dunn: dear god that’s stupid
Gillespie: look we’re obeying the corrupt laws we enacted to protect billionaires
Walter: voters are anti-everything - they would vote against themselves if they could
Will: it’s amazing that billionaires don’t spend more to influence elections - they’re so selfless and wonderful
Dunn: so government is bought and paid for - people care about that!
Gillespie: people don’t care about corrupt elections - they care about the debt!
Amanpour: polls say people want the government to create jobs
Dunn: Bush was losing a million jobs a month!
Will: the election is over and the voters have said they hate Obama
Amanpour: thank you for that report from fantasy-land
*************************
Tim Kaine - DNC Chair
Ed Gillespie - GOP strategist
Anita Dunn - Dem strategist
George Will
Amy Walter
****************************
Amanpour: the election is 9 days away and America has so many lunatics to choose from
Kaine: we can keep the House if everything changes
Amanpour: the polls say you’re gong to lose
Kaine: true - but have you seen those cheering rallies?
Amanpour: Will Pelosi stay on?
Kaine: she deserves a medal for herding all those assholes
Amanpour: and the Senate?
Kaine: thank god for Angle, O’Donnell, and that looney Toomey
Amanpour: but why aren’t you sweeping into office with rose petals strewn at your feet?
Kaine: we got the policy right but forgot to
advertise our successes
Amanpour: that seems like the kind of thing
a politician would remember
Kaine: well we were all very busy at the time
Amanpour: Bill Clinton says he can’t believe
you might lose the House after just 2 years of Obama’s Presidency
Kaine: um, 1994?
Amanpour: but you need to sell whatever you’ve done
Kaine: we saved the auto industry and prevented
a Depression
Amanpour: the Dems are running away from your famous health care reform
Kaine: I don’t see that happening - very much anyway
Amanpour: but Republicans are running ads
against health care reform
Kaine: of course they are - they also dress like Nazis and pay their coven tithes in chickens
Amanpour: why don’t you undisclosed-outside-funded ads?
Kaine: because we’re pure and believe in full disclosure
Amanpour: the economy sucks and the Democrats are in charge of all three branches of government
Kaine: we’ve accomplished an incredible amount
but the Republicans won’t allow us to accomplish anything
Amanpour: sell me on your achievements
Kaine: we have great job growth
Amanpour: in 2011 will we finally get bipartisanship?
Kaine: Christiane are you high?
[ break ]
Amanpour: welcome to the rouddtable - in a time of economic hardship, American has nominated a bunch of crazy people, weirdos, psychotics and general nutjobs
Will: the tea party was created out of disappointment with Bush and the Republicans
Gillespie: the tea party has energized the GOP -
I love those wackos
Amanpour: what are they so mad about?
Gillespie: Obama is taking over every business
in America!
Dunn: I agree with the tea party - the Republican party sucks
Amanpour: interesting
Dunn: there may be an enthusiasm gap but no one really wants Republican ideas - they’re just mad and disappointed
Amanpour: why are Republicans so secretive?
Gillespie: Obama hides the identity of people who gave him only $10 and unions are spending taxpayer money on elections!
Dunn: dear god that’s stupid
Gillespie: look we’re obeying the corrupt laws we enacted to protect billionaires
Walter: voters are anti-everything - they would vote against themselves if they could
Will: it’s amazing that billionaires don’t spend more to influence elections - they’re so selfless and wonderful
Dunn: so government is bought and paid for - people care about that!
Gillespie: people don’t care about corrupt elections - they care about the debt!
Amanpour: polls say people want the government to create jobs
Dunn: Bush was losing a million jobs a month!
Will: the election is over and the voters have said they hate Obama
Amanpour: thank you for that report from fantasy-land
*************************
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)