Sunday, November 14, 2010

This Week with Christiane Amanpour - November 14, 2010

Sen. Lindsey Graham
Madeline Albright
Amanpour: [ plays music from The Amazing Race ]
Obama… is… in... a race around the world!!

Tapper: Obama came to Mumbai so he could see where all the American jobs went

[ scenes of Obama dancing ]

Tapper: South Korea won’t dance to America’s
tune and open up to American beef

Obama: that is an irritant!

Tapper: the fed weakened US currency and Germany declared war

Obama: but only to grow the economy!

Amanpour: Madeline why are people criticizing America - we’re so awesome

Albright: that’s the purpose of these summits -
give the little nations a chance to bitch and whine

Amanpour: so it’s like a blogger conference call

Graham: Congress will crack down on those
wily Chinese!

Amanpour: How can America lecture the rest of
the world when we have a terrible debt

Graham: America clearly cannot lead the rest of the world until we cut Medicaid

Amanpour: oh I hope so

Graham: no other nation will trust us until we increase the retirement age

Amanpour: should we cut nuclear weapons?

Albright: yes we should cut them for other nations

Amanpour: Linds can we ratify START?

Graham: yes but first need an incredibly wasteful useless expensive missile defense system

Amanpour: Our puppet President in Afghanistan seems not to love America

Graham: We had a lovely dinner with me and
McCain and Hamid and We Own The Night!!

Amanpour: how nice

Graham: the security raids are going great and we must keep Night Ranger on the table

Amanpour: can we bring troops home in 2011?

Graham: yes but first we must win!!

Amanpour: I get it

Graham: it would be nice to have 2 airbases there permanently - is that too much to ask??

Albright: we should stay there until we train the Afghans properly to love us

Amanpour: how do you do that?

Albright: they’re Afghans - use a Dog Whisperer

Amanpour: or a Native Whisperer

Amanpour: Lindy are you a tea party isolationist?

Graham: I am an internationalist hawk - I believe Sunnis and Shia should marry each other as long
as they’re straight or hide it

Amanpour: that makes sense

Graham: I would like to add that we should attack Iran

Amanpour: but the tea party!!

Graham: they’re idiots - if we don’t invade Iran there will be Sharia law in Oklahoma

Albright: good god

[ break ]

Amanpour: isn’t it terrible that this debt is ruining American foreign policy?

Cote: Oh yes it’s so so sad

Amanpour: people keep yammering on and on about jobs going overseas

Cote: those jackwagons need stop whining

Conrad: we need to shock Americans

Amanpour: through draconian cuts?

Conrad: no I mean actual electroshock

Amanpour: should we eliminate tax deductions and cut taxes for the rich

Conrad: abusive tax shelters are a bit of a problem

Amanpour: Paul Krugman says the latest proposal is just a giveaway to the rich

Cote: this is not a time for arguing about who is getting rich and getting poor - this is a time for agreeing that we should slash tax rates for the very wealthy

Conrad: Social Security will go broke in 2027!

Amanpour: Greenspan says we should weaken
our currency even more

Cote: look I’m just a rich fate white CEO

Amanpour: so you know everything

Cote: Obama prevented a Depression and should get more credit

Amanpour: We have scary troops in South Korea - how could we not get a trade deal?

Conrad: Obama finally said no to them - yeah!

Amanpour: but the Germans were mean to us and frankly they scare me

Conrad: excuse me we did those krauts a little favor in 1945 and they should remember that

Amanpour: what was that?

Conrad: we got the damm French out of their hair
- a little gratitude would be nice

Amanpour: bien sur

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