Sunday, November 21, 2010

This Week with Christiane Amanpour - November 21, 2010

Admiral Michael Mullen - Chair, Joint Chiefs of Staff
Amanpour: Hey we’re finally leaving Afghanistan
- in four years

Field reporter: Afghan civilians want Americans
to stay in Afghanistan because they are saving the lives of kids wounded by suicide bombers trying to kill Americans

Audience: of course

Field reporter: but we can’t kill our way out of Afghanistan because fighters can always hide
in Pakistan

Audience: hmmm

Reporter: so we have to teach Afghans how to fight - a concept they are unfamiliar with

Amanpour: Admiral is North Korea a grave threat
to America?

Mullen: Oh yes they are led by a dictator who
is determined to destabilize Asia and fund horrible movies

Amanpour: how could we let Korea get nukes?

Mullen: we tried sanctions but they never had anything to begin with so they didn’t work

Amanpour: so what’s the answer?

Mullen: we need to work with all world’s major powers - China, Russia, Europe and Facebook

Amanpour: fascinating

Mullen: Korea is predictable in it’s unpredictability

Amanpour: that makes sense

Mullen: he blows hot and cold

Amanpour: he’s like a character in a Katy Perry song

Mullen: he kissed a girl

Amanpour: I like it

Mullen: Obama is going to ask the Chinese to rein
in that wacko

Amanpour: Should we be terrified?

Mullen: Definitely

Amanpour: the GOP stopped START

Mullen: I know Christine - it’s crazy

Amanpour: but is it really a good idea - the GOP says it’s a government takeover of nuclear weapons

Mullen: it’s very critical

Amanpour: but wouldn’t this weaken America if we only have 5,000 nuclear weapons

Mullen: true there are fewer inspections but there aren’t as many bombs now

Amanpour: Obama has promised to modernize
our nukes?

Mullen: right - they will not longer use Vista

Amanpour: well that’s sounds good - but why do
we need this agreement which involves a bunch of foreigners

Mullen: hey the Russians allowed us to get bogged down in a quagmire in Afghanistan - we owe them!!

Amanpour: how can we put pressure on Iran and Korea if we don’t ratify START?

Mullen: the Russians are starting to wonder if we’re idiots

Amanpour: We’re going to stay in Afghanistan until 2014 - why the rush?

Mullen: It will be like Iraq - we’re not actually leaving but they will be doing the fighting

Amanpour: that’s nice but Iraq is a freaking paradise compared to Afghanistan

Mullen: the Afghans are learning to fire a gun and should have mastered it by 2012

Amanpour: do really think Afghans can learn
to run Afghanistan in just 4 years?

Mullen: amazingly yes

Amanpour: are you doubling down on killing
the Taliban?

Mullen: we are starting to reverse the losses of
the Bush years

Amanpour: what’s the deal this loon Karzai

Mullen: he’s pissed about the civilians we kill -
but you know the Taliban kill a lot of innocent people too!

Amanpour: Al Qaeda is now issuing white papers, Powerpoint presentations and fourth quarter performance reviews

Mullen: I like it

Amanpour: how about gays in the military

Mullen: they should serve openly because after all lying is dishonorable

Amanpour: Israel has open gays so why not us

Mullen: true but they don’t face an existential threat to their future existence like we do

Amanpour: they are surrounded by enemies

Mullen: I was talking about “Dancing With the Stars”

Amanpour: the Marine commandant is scared of
gay cooties

Mullen: that guy DVRs “Glee” so he’s one to talk

Amanpour: Thanks for coming Admiral


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