Sunday, November 07, 2010

This Week with Christiane Amanpour - November 7, 2010

This Week
Sen-Elect Rand Paul (R-KY)
Mike Pence (R-IN)
Evan Bayh
John Podesta
Mike Dowd
George Will
Amy Walter

Amanpour: Hi everyone - the Republicans have their biggest majority in the House since the 1940s

Amanpour: today we have prominent tea party loon Rand Paul - what is your big issue?

Paul: the debt

Amanpour: oh?

Paul: indeed - Republicans doubled the debt and Democrats triple the debt it's so so sad

Amanpour: so how will you balance the budget?

Paul: Constitutional amendment

Amanpour: how realistic

Paul: also a rule requiring spending cuts

Amanpour: ok then

Paul: the GOP won’t cut defense and liberals won’t cut health care

Amanpour: would you cut defense

Paul: sure

Amanpour: how about entitlements?

Paul: absolutely

Amanpour: would you raise the retirement age?

Paul: we have too many lazy old people retiring

Amanpour: will you repeal health care reform?

Paul: it’s unconstitutional!

Amanpour: what about raising taxes

Paul: oh no no

Amanpour: but I thought you wanted to cut the debt

Paul: all we have to do is introduce a balanced budget

Amanpour: what is the Tea Party foreign policy?

Paul: a big powerful expensive defense
and lower debt

Amanpour: could you name some specific cuts?

Paul: freeze federal hiring and cut federal salaries

Amanpour: anything more specific?

Paul: there are lots of books about there

Amanpour: oh there are?

Paul: indeed we should stop printing so many - reading is overrated

Amanpour: good idea Rand

Paul: in Kentucky we balance the budget

Amanpour: how do you do that?

Paul: at the end of the year everyone digs in their couches for spare change

Amanpour: will you vote to raise the debt ceiling?

Paul: no

Amanpour: but then the U.S. will default

Paul: luckily no one likes me so my vote won’t matter

Amanpour: so will you have any influence in Congress?

Paul: we’re the Tea Party - we’re loud and proud

Amanpour: can the tea party compromise with Democrats?

Paul: sure - let’s cut defense

Amanpour: but what about all our fun wars?

Paul: I’m patriotic but I’m starting to wonder whether all these wars are all they’re cracked up to be

Amanpour: oh dear

[ break ]

Amanpour: Mike Pence are you running for President and if so are you crazy

Pence: I will consult with my family and the Lord

Amanpour: Rush Limbaugh?

Pence: that’s right

Amanpour: Dave Stockman what is the Big Lie?

Stockman: both parties have both become Free Lunchers

Amanpour: oh noe

Stockman: the debt is out of control

Pence: in this week Americans rejected liberalism and bailouts

Amanpour: but Republicans were behind the bailout

Pence: maybe but that was before - Republicans
are now against all domestic spending

Amanpour: how interesting

Stockman: criminy we put the GOP in charge and they wrecked everything - we need to take on Grannies, the Pentagon, and Scooter Manufacturers

Pence: the Axis of Evil

Stockman: we have a Credit Card Empire

Amanpour: what is that?

Stockman: its like a Boardwalk Empire after you’ve gone into a casino

Pence: we have to cut spending right now that a black Democrat is President

Stockman: we should raise taxes

Pence: no, no, no anything but that

Stockman: we can’t police the world with this deficit

Pence: if we raise taxes the rich will Go Galt and take the job-creating abilities to the Cayman Islands

Stockman: the Chinese are coming to take us over

Amanpour: why is so much American wealth going to the very rich?

Pence: hey those rich people create all the jobs - those people should get down on their knee and be grateful for the crumbs they get

Stockman: what a shithead

Amanpour: what happens now?

Podesta: Republicans have to offer real ideas

Amanpour: will there be compromise?

Podesta: no

Dowd: the voters want action and results
so Congress and the White House will have to work together

Bayh: well that’s easy to say but the good moderates keep getting pushed aside by the bad activists

Dowd: Obama must credibly reach across the aisle - he has the megaphone therefore this is all his fault

Amanpour: what did all 100 million voters say Amy?

Walter: they said ‘we hate moderates - we want polarization!’

Amanpour: really?

Walter: no they were saying ‘we want jobs’

Amanpour: I hear that

Will: liberals are under the delusion that they improved the economy

Podesta: they did

Amanpour: interesting

Podesta: but now that Obama has fixed the economy he must cut the debt

Bayh: voters want bland boring moderates with
no principles

Amanpour: how lucky for you

Bayh: yay me

Amanpour: now that Warren Buffet has embraced liberal ideas are progressive policies dead?

Podesta: Obama must offer Republicans something they want like a a payroll holiday or Fox News
in every home

Dowd: or the GOP could offer spending cuts

Bayh: voters care about one thing: cutting spending and the debt

Amanpour: I didn’t know that

Bayh: look at the UK they’re doing great with their austerity program

Will: the GOP care about the debt but they really care about lower taxes for rich people

Amanpour: are there any women left in politics?

Walter: sure Sarah Palin, Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Bachmann and Nikki Haley

Amanpour: oh my - should the Dems reelect Pelosi

Podesta: yes the GOP are scared of her

Bayh: um what [ staring at self in monitor ]

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