Sunday, February 17, 2008

MEET THE PRESS with Schumer and Durbin - February 17, 2008

February 17, 2008
Sen. Richard Durbin for Barack Obama
Sen. Chuck Schumer for Hillary Clinton

Russert: Durbin can Obama win?

Durbin: we feel good!

Russert: does Hillary have to win in Texas and Ohio

Schumer: no but I declare Hillary can go from point A to point B

Russert: that was in Lincoln's Second Inaugural wasn't it?

Schumer: fuck you Timmy

Russert: Obama up in states won and votes and delegates

Schumer: so what? We will concede nothing dammit

Russert: Dick what about it - should superdelegates steal the election?

Durbin: duh of course not - this is a fucking election not a damm coronation and anyone who would try that would wreck the party

Russert: but Obama a looser

Durbin: no hillary barely won NJ and we killed in bloody kansas

Schumer: sure if you listen to the crazy nazi-lovers at you would support the elected delegate winner

Russert: i hate those liberals

Schumer: for the sake of party unity we must support hillary and not force anything down her throat

Russert: it sounds like you are willing to cheat

Schumer: it's not a moral issue - the real moral issue is to unite around Clinton and win the 2008 election

Russert: between superdelegates and Michigan it seems like Clinton wants to pull a fast one

Durbin: jeebus Obama wasn't even on the ballot in Michigan!

Schumer: oh let's not debate who signed what pledge we all cheat when it's good for us

Russert: seat Michigan or not?

Schumer: it's just like the superdelegates we will take every advantage we can get

Russert: oh ok

Schumer: Obama has to sit down and agree that we should change the rules to give Hillary Michigan and Florida's delegates

Russert: would you support new caucuses?

Schumer: no - because he does better in caucuses

Russert: you're so stubborn

Schumer: these fights will weaken us we should keep voting and then we should debate how to hand the win to Hillary

Durbin: the idea of accepting the results of an election where only one name is on the ballot is laughable

Russert: so sad

Durbin: backroom deals are not the answer

Russert: you live together who's the slob?

Durbin: he is

Schumer: i love you man


Russert: she says she's a workhorse

Novak: that's too boring

O'Beirne: it's frustrating she's a wonk and he's a smooth talkin’ man sweeping America off its feet

Carlson: she's the scolding parent telling america that the man they are in love with is bad

Russert: but parents now kids dig the bad boy and they will only run to him if you diss him

Shields: she can still win and he has no specifics

Russert: what should she do?

Shields: give people a reason to vote for her, not against him

Hunt: she has to win everything from now on but she can do it

Shields: she can be a comeback kid

Novak: i would love a divided convention but a brokered convention won't happen

Russert: but how do you prevent it

Novak: one of them must yield they can't be fighting in August

O'Beirne: Durbin made an argument based on fairness and Schumer just said supers should be allowed to trump for process reasons

Carlson: my boyfriend fred thompson said superdelegates are good because they save America from liberals

Shields: that's right we need “grown ups” choosing that why we have superdelegates

Russert: like that 21 year old gay kid

Shields: exactly

Hunt: i give John Lewis permission to vote for who he wants to

Russert: mighty white of you

Hunt: Pelosi says Michigan choosing would destroy the party

Russert: how big a lead does the black man need to have in elected delegates?

Hunt: at least ten

Shields: we should wait until Bill Clinton endorses someone

Russert: FL or MI?

Shields: if she wins Pennsylvania then Florida should be seated

Bill Clinton: we're running on a shoestring!

Novak: oh please

Carlson: she's better without him

Russert: but people love him in Texas

Shields: he's rusty as a politician he's used to adulation

Russert: like Jordan with the Wizards

Novak: people still fear the Cleins

Russrt: she assumed she would have it locked up by Feb. 5

O'Beirne: oops

Russert: Joe Klein says Obama is a better executive

Hunt: Clinton campaign is in disarray

Russert: how so?

Hunt: Axelrod ran circles around the Clinton people

Novak: Obama hates the global economy and wants to raise taxes

Carlson: we all know that

Hunt: she chose loyalty over competence

Shields: just like Chimpy

Russert: so true

Shields: McCain is with teh dems on global warming, taxes, cafes

Novak: you're an advocate not a honest journalist

Shields: don't you have some CIA agents to destroy douchebag?

Russert: you think the GOP are screwed

Novak: yeah but McCain is a war hero

O'Beirne: we are fucked but we might win against Hillary if we put up enough unflattering pictures of her

Russert: G HW Bush will endorse McCain

O'Beirne: jesus that's not helpful

Carlson: Hillary will save the GOP

Novak: huckabee has no useful purpose except when i suck the blood of his sons at night

Russert: why them?

Novak: i need to slake my thirst on the blood of virgins

Russert: McCain's VP?

Carlson: someone young and cheerful like Crist

Novak: he's not young

Carlson: he is compared to you and Al

Russert: Dems

Shields: obama will be the nominee

Carlson: Obama

Novak: Obama has the big MO

Hunt: Obama has the edge

Shields: the Democrats wanted to run against Reagan in 1980 you never know

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