Guests:
David Plouffe - Obama campaign
Gov. Haley Barbour (R-MS)
Ben Jealous - President NAACP
Michele Norris
Doris Goodwin
David Brooks
Rachel Maddow
******************************************
Gregory: Obama went to the South Korea
demilitarized zone and apologized for
the final episode of M*A*S*H
Gregory: good morning David -
how many more wars can we look
forward to in the coming years?
Plouffe: we’ve got crippling sanctions
on Korea and Iran!
Gregory: does the President think
race was a factor in the killing
of Trayvon Martin?
Plouffe: of course he does but he can’t
prejudge a criminal investigation
Gregory: Obama wouldn’t have expressed
sympathy for the victim if he didn’t
think it racial
Plouffe: that’s ridiculous Fluffy
Gregory: did he call the parents and
say sorry your son got killed?
Plouffe: no as chief executive he has to be neutral
Gregory: but he called Sandra Fluke
Plouffe: because she was being attacked
specifically for defending the President’s policy
Gregory: will Obama lead a national
summit on race?
Plouffe: yes because that will
change everything
Gregory: the President has disappointed
me by never talking about race
Plouffe: sure he does Fluffy
Gregory: now that we are creating jobs
it turns what people really care
about is gas prices
Plouffe: oh for god’s sake
Gregory: why won’t the President lower
gas prices!?
Plouffe: the GOP used to be in favor of
biofuels and now they mock solar panels
Gregory: but Pluffy the President politicized
high gas prices in 2008
Plouffe: he came out in favor a gas tax
when prices were high which was pretty brave
Gregory: the President has not gotten
a comprehensive energy law enacted and
he’s also going to swing states urging
a comprehensive energy policy
Plouffe: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: he’s politicizing energy!
Plouffe: the GOP just wants to drill
but the President likes wind too
Gregory: will Obamacare be repealed?
Plouffe: no - we’re insuring kids,
old people, and eliminating exclusions
for pre-existing conditions
Gregory: but people don’t love the law
Plouffe: Romney is the Godfather of
the health care law
Gregory: how so?
Plouffe: he made people an offer
they couldn’t refuse
Gregory: so Romney deserves all the
credit for the law not Obama!
Plouffe: ha you’re funny
Gregory: Romney is an etch-a-sketch
candidate who will pivot to the center
when he is the nominee
Plouffe: Romney wants to outlaw abortion
and that is etched in stone!
Gregory: ok
Plouffe: do we want to go back to
the massive responsible tax cuts that
caused the great recession?
Gregory: I wouldn’t mind
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama says the Trayvon Martin
killing should lead to soul-searching
Jealous: this incident contributes to a
sense that black men lives are
not worth as much
Gregory: the President seems reluctant
to lead a national debate on race just
because that’s not his job
Goodwin: I hope this event makes us
look at racial profiling and these
Stand Your Ground laws and say maybe
we shouldn’t be killing innocent
kids for carrying skittles
Gregory: but the Caution! The Reluctance!
Bad Obama!
Norris: hey Fluffy - the American people
are not all going to sit down on a
Tuesday afternoon and have a
national conversation led by your daddy
Brooks: racism is a natural sin we
are born into that we must combat
through civilization
Barbour: George Zimmerman could be
perfectly innocent ya know
Gregory: excellent point Governor
Barbour: let’s not jump to conclusions!
Gregory: Newt Gingrich spoke out very
powerfully when he called
the President a racist
Barbour: that’s right - race clearly doesn’t
matter in this case
Gregory: maybe they were fighting
but the fact remains Zimmerman
killed this kid
Jealous: the law doesn’t say if you stalk
someone and come at them with a gun and
they push you on the ground you get to
shoot and kill them
Gregory: Charles Blow wrote in the
New York Times That as a parent he
fears his children will be regarded
as suspicious by paranoid armed cop wannabes
Norris: white people see a good young kid
and black parents seen a successful kid who
got shot because he was considered a criminal
to be feared and killed
Norris: Martin may be this generation’s
Emmett Till - the men who killed him were
acquitted in one hour and it sparked outrage
Jealous: it’s been 10 years since the
last great national conversation
on racial profiling which did not stop
racial profiling
Barbour: this process is working -
the Mayor of Sanford is not sweeping this
under the rug after a few weeks of not
doing anything after the killing
Brooks: people get shot every day you know
Jealous: even black cops discriminate
against black men!
Gregory: should we be worried about the
Black Panthers committing violence?
Jealous: what an appropriate question in
a debate of suspicion and fear of black men
Gregory: nothing hits a President’s
popularity harder than high gas prices
Goodwin: people do love low prices
on things they like
Brooks: Obama can’t control gas prices so
Republicans attacking Obama on gas prices
proves all Democrats are hypocrites
Gregory: more drilling does not lower prices
Barbour: we need more drilling to lower gas prices!
Gregory: that’s a good point
Barbour: Obama wants higher gas prices!
Gregory: he does?
Barbour: Obama’s policies doubled
the price of gasoline in three years
Gregory: should Rick Santorum drop out?
Barbour: unless Romney steps on a
land mine he will be the nominee
Gregory: is that a threat?
Barbour: it’s merely an observation Fluffy
[ break ]
Gregory: Rachel why did you write a
book about perpetual war?
Maddow: I’ve been worried for a long time
about the drift to war in America
Gregory: you say that less than 1% of
the population are actually fighting
even with ten years of constant war
Maddow: if the public doesn’t feel the
effects of war we are more likely to go to war
Gregory: who doesn’t love a good war?
Maddow: we gave ourselves giant
tax cuts when we started two wars
Gregory: yeah that was awesome
Maddow: we say the military goes to
war instead of the nation going to war
Gregory: your book is not partisan
Maddow: this is not about parties of
specific Presidents - people like war but
don’t want to fight it or pay for it
Gregory: you are worried about the
growth of military superstructure
Maddow: we do need to fight wars sometimes
but we don’t need 1,800 nuclear weapons
Gregory: nukes are cool
Maddow: the only fights we have are
Congress making the Pentagon buy tanks
even the military doesn’t want
Gregory: we should hire veterans because
they are heroes
Maddow: they are also really impressive
Gregory: me wife is a Captain
Maddow: 2 million Americans deployed to
Iraq and Afghanistan
Gregory: I would like to observe
veterans are awesome
Maddow: yes they are
Gregory: well that was problem was solved -
and that’s another episode of Meet The Press
********************************************
Sunday, March 25, 2012
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - March 25, 2012
Guests:
David Plouffe - Obama campaign
Rep. Michele Bachmann
*****************************************
Stephanopoulos: Why is Obama tied in the polls
with an unprincipled cyborg?
Plouffe: Once the GOP has a nominee we will
utterly destroy him
Stephanopoulos: Paul Ryan says he will stop
you from killing people on Medicare
Plouffe: the Ryan Plan showers tax cuts on rich
people and pays for them by making old
people wash their limousines
Stephanopoulos: You refuse to cut Social Security
and won’t implement Simpson Bowles
Plouffe: It’s preposterous for Republicans to complain
about Simpson Bowles - it cut 5 dollars
from the defense budget and they want
to start 2 more wars
Stephanopoulos: 52% of people say they
don’t like the oppressive nightmare
that is Obamacare
Plouffe: Obamacare doesn’t even take
effect until 2014
Stephanopoulos: people hate having to
buy health insurance
Plouffe: well more people are getting better
care than ever so let the horror continue
Stephanopoulos: will the health care
law be stuck down?
Plouffe: Mitt Romney is the Godfather
of the Mandate!
Stephanopoulos: Godfather of Soul
was clearly out
Stephanopoulos: is the President still evolving
on the issue of marriage equality?
Plouffe: the GOP wants to Don’t Ask Don’t Tell back!
Stephanopoulos: This incident in Florida has
raised a debate about whether killing people
should be legal
Plouffe: it seems so
Stephanopoulos: Newt Gingrich said the
President believes white people should be shot
Plouffe: not all white people
Stephanopoulos: should Stand Your Ground
laws be repealed?
Plouffe: it would be nice if laws against killing
innocent unarmed people were enforced
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming Pluffy
Stephanopoulos: Michele what do you think
about Newt Gingrich
Bachmann: I’m a mother and he’s an idiot
Stephanopoulos: do you think Rick Santorum
is just helping Obama?
Bachmann: this is the People’s Campaign!
Stephanopoulos: I see
Bachmann: we need to reach out to disaffected
Democrats and get them to vote for the guy
who thinks gay sex is like beastailty
Stephanopoulos: why not urge Santorum to
just go back to lobbying on K Street?
Bachmann: there’s plenty of time for that
Stephanopoulos: is Mitt Romney a lying
etch-a-sketch candidate?
Bachmann: yes but the important thing is
that Obama imposed a
health insurance mandate!
Stephanopoulos: so did Mitt Romney
Bachmann: yes but Romney flip-flopped on that
- proving he’s trustworthy
Stephanopoulos: SCOTUS fanbois are predicting
for a 7-2 ruling in favor of the law
Bachmann: but the Anti-Injunction Act!
Stephanopoulos: umm
Bachmann: Health insurance is very expensive!
Who wants to pay for that?
Stephanopoulos: no one
Bachmann: people don’t want to be forced
to pay for health insurance - it’s wildly unpopular!
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming
Bachmann: woot!
**************************************
David Plouffe - Obama campaign
Rep. Michele Bachmann
*****************************************
Stephanopoulos: Why is Obama tied in the polls
with an unprincipled cyborg?
Plouffe: Once the GOP has a nominee we will
utterly destroy him
Stephanopoulos: Paul Ryan says he will stop
you from killing people on Medicare
Plouffe: the Ryan Plan showers tax cuts on rich
people and pays for them by making old
people wash their limousines
Stephanopoulos: You refuse to cut Social Security
and won’t implement Simpson Bowles
Plouffe: It’s preposterous for Republicans to complain
about Simpson Bowles - it cut 5 dollars
from the defense budget and they want
to start 2 more wars
Stephanopoulos: 52% of people say they
don’t like the oppressive nightmare
that is Obamacare
Plouffe: Obamacare doesn’t even take
effect until 2014
Stephanopoulos: people hate having to
buy health insurance
Plouffe: well more people are getting better
care than ever so let the horror continue
Stephanopoulos: will the health care
law be stuck down?
Plouffe: Mitt Romney is the Godfather
of the Mandate!
Stephanopoulos: Godfather of Soul
was clearly out
Stephanopoulos: is the President still evolving
on the issue of marriage equality?
Plouffe: the GOP wants to Don’t Ask Don’t Tell back!
Stephanopoulos: This incident in Florida has
raised a debate about whether killing people
should be legal
Plouffe: it seems so
Stephanopoulos: Newt Gingrich said the
President believes white people should be shot
Plouffe: not all white people
Stephanopoulos: should Stand Your Ground
laws be repealed?
Plouffe: it would be nice if laws against killing
innocent unarmed people were enforced
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming Pluffy
Stephanopoulos: Michele what do you think
about Newt Gingrich
Bachmann: I’m a mother and he’s an idiot
Stephanopoulos: do you think Rick Santorum
is just helping Obama?
Bachmann: this is the People’s Campaign!
Stephanopoulos: I see
Bachmann: we need to reach out to disaffected
Democrats and get them to vote for the guy
who thinks gay sex is like beastailty
Stephanopoulos: why not urge Santorum to
just go back to lobbying on K Street?
Bachmann: there’s plenty of time for that
Stephanopoulos: is Mitt Romney a lying
etch-a-sketch candidate?
Bachmann: yes but the important thing is
that Obama imposed a
health insurance mandate!
Stephanopoulos: so did Mitt Romney
Bachmann: yes but Romney flip-flopped on that
- proving he’s trustworthy
Stephanopoulos: SCOTUS fanbois are predicting
for a 7-2 ruling in favor of the law
Bachmann: but the Anti-Injunction Act!
Stephanopoulos: umm
Bachmann: Health insurance is very expensive!
Who wants to pay for that?
Stephanopoulos: no one
Bachmann: people don’t want to be forced
to pay for health insurance - it’s wildly unpopular!
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming
Bachmann: woot!
**************************************
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Meet The Press - March 18, 2012
Guests:
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Paul Rieckhoff - Iraq and Afghanistan
Veterans of America
Helene Cooper
Jon Krakauer
Wes Moore
George Clooney
John Prendergast
*********************************
Gregory: holy crap probable nominee
Mitt Romney finished third in the last
two primaries
Gregory: what the hell is wrong
with Mitt Romney?
McCain: he’s working on his
programming and also SuperPACs
have hurt him
Gregory: how sad
McCain: Gingrich is funded by a
casino mogul from Macau!
Gregory: too bad
McCain: John Roberts is a moron
Gregory: should Newt drop out?
McCain: yes but it’s not fair he is allowed
to get his message out with secret
money from Sheldon Adelson
Gregory: will there be a brokered
convention?
McCain: politics is so mean and
Obama will be reelected and
it all gives me a giant sad
Gregory: even Mitt Romney says
the economy is improving
McCain: I suddenly realized
the debt is bad
Gregory: right
McCain: Obama thinks government
create jobs well guess what it doesn’t
Gregory: I see
McCain: Romney knows how to lose jobs!
Gregory: should women have to tell
their employers about their sex lives?
McCain: no one wants to hear
about that lady part stuff
Gregory: are women a problem
for the GOP?
McCain: Jobs and the economy!
Gregory: this soldier who allegedly
massacred Afghans was on his fourth tour
McCain: we are succeeding in Afghanistan!
We are making dramatic gains!
Gregory: we are?
McCain: yes we are winning -
but Obama wants to withdraw just
as we’re finally making progress
Gregory: I see
McCain: how about a commitment
to victory!?
Gregory: hmm
McCain: we must stay to win!
Gregory: Obama surged forces and
Americans still hate this war
McCain: Obama only put in 30,000
troops instead of 40,000 which means
every bad thing that ever happens is his fault
Gregory: makes sense
McCain: We should start a war in Syria! and Iran!
Gregory: Senator you sound slightly insane
McCain: we destroyed the Taliban!
Gregory: we did?
McCain: the Afghan people
just love American troops
Gregory: they do?
McCain: If we leave Afghanistan we will
have another September 11!
Gregory: you’re on a roll
McCain: we must tell the bad guys
we are never leaving!
Gregory: should we stay in Afghanistan
forever and ever?
McCain: yes all we have to do is
pacify Afghanistan and leave troops
forever like we did in South Korea!
Gregory: should we attack Syria?
McCain: yes because Iran is bad
Gregory: um what?
McCain: people are being killed and
we could win without doing anything!
Gregory: you have been on
Meet the Press more times than I have
McCain: ha ha
Gregory: how have you changed
over the years?
McCain: I have become more and more
willing to bomb anyone in
any place at any time
Gregory: is there anywhere you don’t
want to start a war?
McCain: Canada
Gregory: ok
McCain: no wait - them too
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: that soldier who shot Afghan
civilians proves that fighting too many
wars with too soldiers is a bad idea
Rieckhoff: let’s be clear - this behavior
is not a normal result of stress in combat
Krakauer: you think our troops are
stressed out? How do you think Afghans
feel when their children are killed?
Cooper: Obama’s surge came 8 years
into the war - it’s too late now to win
hearts and minds
Woodward: If you talk to people in the
Army they say the Army is awesome
Gregory: that’s true
Woodward: the Army is optimistic that
Afghanistan may yet become as
wonderful as Iraq
Krakauer: that’s ridiculous
Woodward: let’s be realistic - Afghanistan
can be wonderful place like Baghdad
Moore: we have to make Karzai and
the Taliban talk to each other but they
hate each other even more than they hate us
Gregory: 100,000 troops have done
at least three tours of duty
Rieckhoff: the suicide rate for active
duty soldiers is higher than deaths
from combat!
Gregory: Saint John McCain says we
should stay forever
Cooper: he’s an idiot
Gregory: but I love him
Cooper: this nation has not been
at war - only a few soldiers
Woodward: war is ugly and there is
no easy way out and we are stuck
Gregory: we can’t turn our backs
on Central Asia
Krakauer: the USA must make peace
between India and Pakistan
Gregory: oh great
Krakauer: our troops can’t take much more
Rieckhoff: this is no way to fight a
war or run a nation
Moore: we can leave with our heads held high
Woodward: Afghanistan is a gamble
on Hamid Karzai
Rieckhoff: and he calls American
troops demons!
Gregory: the whole country is war-weary
- should we bomb Iran and invade Syria?
Cooper: perhaps not
Gregory: Mitt Romney finished third
in the southern primaries!
Woodward: the SuperPACs are poison
- can the media report responsibly
on the election?
Audience: [ spit take ]
Krak: Obama is lucky these candidates
are wackos
[ break ]
Gregory: OMG TMZ has footage of
George Clooney being arrested!
Aud: wow
Gregory: I hear you vacationed in
South Sudan - it like Martha’s Vineyard
Clooney: no the Nubian people are
suffering from rockets and bombs
Gregory: that doesn’t sound like much fun
Clooney: it’s starvation and ethnic cleansing
Gregory: what happens next
Prendergast: the largest war on earth
Clooney: China gets 6% of their
oil from Sudan
Gregory: they do?
Clooney: we’re not making a
humanitarian argument - we are
appealing to your greed for cheap oil
Gregory: has ‘Kony 2012’ changed everything?
Prendergast: yes because the kids love
activism you can do sitting in front
of a computer watching a movie
Gregory: Bono helped cure AIDS -
why can’t you save Sudan like he did?
Clooney: because this is a war Fluffy
Gregory: why not run for President
and fix the world’s problems?
Clooney: I want to make a real
difference - not be President
Gregory: Obama is looking
good now - is that bad?
Clooney: no but you can’t get cocky
Gregory: do you think Obama
has done a good job
Clooney: I could sell his Presidency
as amazingly successful but Democrats
just love to nitpick and criticize
Gregory: Matt Damon is disappointed
Clooney: he’s one of the picky ones
Gregory: you’re not sad
Clooney: no I’m proud of Obama
Gregory: what’s next for George Clooney
Clooney: “Meet The Press - The Musical!”
Gregory: would there be a part for John McCain?
Clooney: of course
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
***************************************
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Paul Rieckhoff - Iraq and Afghanistan
Veterans of America
Helene Cooper
Jon Krakauer
Wes Moore
George Clooney
John Prendergast
*********************************
Gregory: holy crap probable nominee
Mitt Romney finished third in the last
two primaries
Gregory: what the hell is wrong
with Mitt Romney?
McCain: he’s working on his
programming and also SuperPACs
have hurt him
Gregory: how sad
McCain: Gingrich is funded by a
casino mogul from Macau!
Gregory: too bad
McCain: John Roberts is a moron
Gregory: should Newt drop out?
McCain: yes but it’s not fair he is allowed
to get his message out with secret
money from Sheldon Adelson
Gregory: will there be a brokered
convention?
McCain: politics is so mean and
Obama will be reelected and
it all gives me a giant sad
Gregory: even Mitt Romney says
the economy is improving
McCain: I suddenly realized
the debt is bad
Gregory: right
McCain: Obama thinks government
create jobs well guess what it doesn’t
Gregory: I see
McCain: Romney knows how to lose jobs!
Gregory: should women have to tell
their employers about their sex lives?
McCain: no one wants to hear
about that lady part stuff
Gregory: are women a problem
for the GOP?
McCain: Jobs and the economy!
Gregory: this soldier who allegedly
massacred Afghans was on his fourth tour
McCain: we are succeeding in Afghanistan!
We are making dramatic gains!
Gregory: we are?
McCain: yes we are winning -
but Obama wants to withdraw just
as we’re finally making progress
Gregory: I see
McCain: how about a commitment
to victory!?
Gregory: hmm
McCain: we must stay to win!
Gregory: Obama surged forces and
Americans still hate this war
McCain: Obama only put in 30,000
troops instead of 40,000 which means
every bad thing that ever happens is his fault
Gregory: makes sense
McCain: We should start a war in Syria! and Iran!
Gregory: Senator you sound slightly insane
McCain: we destroyed the Taliban!
Gregory: we did?
McCain: the Afghan people
just love American troops
Gregory: they do?
McCain: If we leave Afghanistan we will
have another September 11!
Gregory: you’re on a roll
McCain: we must tell the bad guys
we are never leaving!
Gregory: should we stay in Afghanistan
forever and ever?
McCain: yes all we have to do is
pacify Afghanistan and leave troops
forever like we did in South Korea!
Gregory: should we attack Syria?
McCain: yes because Iran is bad
Gregory: um what?
McCain: people are being killed and
we could win without doing anything!
Gregory: you have been on
Meet the Press more times than I have
McCain: ha ha
Gregory: how have you changed
over the years?
McCain: I have become more and more
willing to bomb anyone in
any place at any time
Gregory: is there anywhere you don’t
want to start a war?
McCain: Canada
Gregory: ok
McCain: no wait - them too
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: that soldier who shot Afghan
civilians proves that fighting too many
wars with too soldiers is a bad idea
Rieckhoff: let’s be clear - this behavior
is not a normal result of stress in combat
Krakauer: you think our troops are
stressed out? How do you think Afghans
feel when their children are killed?
Cooper: Obama’s surge came 8 years
into the war - it’s too late now to win
hearts and minds
Woodward: If you talk to people in the
Army they say the Army is awesome
Gregory: that’s true
Woodward: the Army is optimistic that
Afghanistan may yet become as
wonderful as Iraq
Krakauer: that’s ridiculous
Woodward: let’s be realistic - Afghanistan
can be wonderful place like Baghdad
Moore: we have to make Karzai and
the Taliban talk to each other but they
hate each other even more than they hate us
Gregory: 100,000 troops have done
at least three tours of duty
Rieckhoff: the suicide rate for active
duty soldiers is higher than deaths
from combat!
Gregory: Saint John McCain says we
should stay forever
Cooper: he’s an idiot
Gregory: but I love him
Cooper: this nation has not been
at war - only a few soldiers
Woodward: war is ugly and there is
no easy way out and we are stuck
Gregory: we can’t turn our backs
on Central Asia
Krakauer: the USA must make peace
between India and Pakistan
Gregory: oh great
Krakauer: our troops can’t take much more
Rieckhoff: this is no way to fight a
war or run a nation
Moore: we can leave with our heads held high
Woodward: Afghanistan is a gamble
on Hamid Karzai
Rieckhoff: and he calls American
troops demons!
Gregory: the whole country is war-weary
- should we bomb Iran and invade Syria?
Cooper: perhaps not
Gregory: Mitt Romney finished third
in the southern primaries!
Woodward: the SuperPACs are poison
- can the media report responsibly
on the election?
Audience: [ spit take ]
Krak: Obama is lucky these candidates
are wackos
[ break ]
Gregory: OMG TMZ has footage of
George Clooney being arrested!
Aud: wow
Gregory: I hear you vacationed in
South Sudan - it like Martha’s Vineyard
Clooney: no the Nubian people are
suffering from rockets and bombs
Gregory: that doesn’t sound like much fun
Clooney: it’s starvation and ethnic cleansing
Gregory: what happens next
Prendergast: the largest war on earth
Clooney: China gets 6% of their
oil from Sudan
Gregory: they do?
Clooney: we’re not making a
humanitarian argument - we are
appealing to your greed for cheap oil
Gregory: has ‘Kony 2012’ changed everything?
Prendergast: yes because the kids love
activism you can do sitting in front
of a computer watching a movie
Gregory: Bono helped cure AIDS -
why can’t you save Sudan like he did?
Clooney: because this is a war Fluffy
Gregory: why not run for President
and fix the world’s problems?
Clooney: I want to make a real
difference - not be President
Gregory: Obama is looking
good now - is that bad?
Clooney: no but you can’t get cocky
Gregory: do you think Obama
has done a good job
Clooney: I could sell his Presidency
as amazingly successful but Democrats
just love to nitpick and criticize
Gregory: Matt Damon is disappointed
Clooney: he’s one of the picky ones
Gregory: you’re not sad
Clooney: no I’m proud of Obama
Gregory: what’s next for George Clooney
Clooney: “Meet The Press - The Musical!”
Gregory: would there be a part for John McCain?
Clooney: of course
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
***************************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - March 18, 2012
Host:
Jonathan Karl
Guests:
Rick Santorum
Gov. Haley Barbour
David Ignatius
Bill Burton
Nia-Malika Henderson
***************************************
Karl: wow no one likes Mitt Romney
yet he keeps winning delegates!
Audience: you go Mitt
Karl: Rick will you take your hopeless
fight all the way to the convention?
Santorum: I will fight and climb and
scratch and claw until I completely wreck
the party’s chances in the fall
Karl: you’re not concerned about
hurting the GOP?
Santorum: nominating a flip-flopping
cyborg is not going to save the party buddy
Karl: maybe not
Santorum: My losing to Romney is
a good rehearsal so I can
lose to Obama
Karl: there’s no difference between
Obama and Mitt?
Santorum: mandates!
Karl: what else Frothy?
Santorum: Obama bailed out
Wall Street
Karl: that isn’t true
Santorum: Porn!
Karl: speaking of that would you
like to have a head-to-head
one-on-one with Mitt?
Santorum: Mitt even said
“I love man dates!”
Karl: he did?
Santorum: I would love to have a
one-on-one with Romney!
Karl: we can do it right here
on this desk
Santorum: Mitt Romney personally
performed abortions!
Karl: do you think Puerto Ricans
should be forced to speak English?
Santorum: yes just like we made
Oklahomans speak English instead
of Oklahoman!
Karl: we did that?
Santorum: Mitt Romney pandered
to those gauchos!
Karl: should we finally leave Afghanistan?
Santorum: Obama should never have
hinted we might leave - we should tell
everyone we will never ever leave
and then leave
Karl: sounds like a plan
Santorum: we should either leave or
kill everyone in Afghanistan
Karl: what would you do?
Santorum: I would totally win
Karl: how would you do that?
Santorum: by pulling out our troops
Karl: I’m confused
Santorum: I would consult with people
to do what is necessary to accomplish
what should happen
Karl: got it
Karl: Mitt Romney says you are
an economic lightweight
Santorum: People know how much I
care about little people - I demonstrate
it by working in the coal mines of K Street
Karl: I see
Santorum: conservatives don’t create jobs
Karl: I see
Santorum: we don’t need a manager
in Washington - we need a plan to cut
taxes and also not raise taxes
Karl: you on a crusade against porn
Santorum: damn right - I hate all
those sexytime magazines
Karl: what would you do about it?
Santorum: I would issue an Executive Order
to get the Kardashians off television
Karl: you supported Arlen Specter and
he’s a big abortion supporting guy
Santorum: the little fetuses had to
take one for the team
Karl: will you go after Romney for
putting a dog on the roof of his car?
Santorum: that robot has no
human feelings!
Karl: will there be a brokered convention?
Will: Newt Gingrich wants to be another
Warren Harding and he could do it
Henderson: Newt is both Rick’s
wingman and his worst nightmare
Barbour: a brokered convention is
not all bad - the GOP had one in 1976
Karl: you lost in 1976
Barbour: that dang Carter had
some mad political skills
Ignatius: Rick Santorum could be
a great nominee
Burton: Romney could be our first
non-human candidate
Karl: but the 2008 Democratic primary
went on forever
Burton: yes but Clinton and Obama
were great candidates and Frothy
and Mitt are idiots
Barbour: no one likes Obama!
Burton: keep telling yourself that Foghorn
Karl: thanks for coming
********************************************
Jonathan Karl
Guests:
Rick Santorum
Gov. Haley Barbour
David Ignatius
Bill Burton
Nia-Malika Henderson
***************************************
Karl: wow no one likes Mitt Romney
yet he keeps winning delegates!
Audience: you go Mitt
Karl: Rick will you take your hopeless
fight all the way to the convention?
Santorum: I will fight and climb and
scratch and claw until I completely wreck
the party’s chances in the fall
Karl: you’re not concerned about
hurting the GOP?
Santorum: nominating a flip-flopping
cyborg is not going to save the party buddy
Karl: maybe not
Santorum: My losing to Romney is
a good rehearsal so I can
lose to Obama
Karl: there’s no difference between
Obama and Mitt?
Santorum: mandates!
Karl: what else Frothy?
Santorum: Obama bailed out
Wall Street
Karl: that isn’t true
Santorum: Porn!
Karl: speaking of that would you
like to have a head-to-head
one-on-one with Mitt?
Santorum: Mitt even said
“I love man dates!”
Karl: he did?
Santorum: I would love to have a
one-on-one with Romney!
Karl: we can do it right here
on this desk
Santorum: Mitt Romney personally
performed abortions!
Karl: do you think Puerto Ricans
should be forced to speak English?
Santorum: yes just like we made
Oklahomans speak English instead
of Oklahoman!
Karl: we did that?
Santorum: Mitt Romney pandered
to those gauchos!
Karl: should we finally leave Afghanistan?
Santorum: Obama should never have
hinted we might leave - we should tell
everyone we will never ever leave
and then leave
Karl: sounds like a plan
Santorum: we should either leave or
kill everyone in Afghanistan
Karl: what would you do?
Santorum: I would totally win
Karl: how would you do that?
Santorum: by pulling out our troops
Karl: I’m confused
Santorum: I would consult with people
to do what is necessary to accomplish
what should happen
Karl: got it
Karl: Mitt Romney says you are
an economic lightweight
Santorum: People know how much I
care about little people - I demonstrate
it by working in the coal mines of K Street
Karl: I see
Santorum: conservatives don’t create jobs
Karl: I see
Santorum: we don’t need a manager
in Washington - we need a plan to cut
taxes and also not raise taxes
Karl: you on a crusade against porn
Santorum: damn right - I hate all
those sexytime magazines
Karl: what would you do about it?
Santorum: I would issue an Executive Order
to get the Kardashians off television
Karl: you supported Arlen Specter and
he’s a big abortion supporting guy
Santorum: the little fetuses had to
take one for the team
Karl: will you go after Romney for
putting a dog on the roof of his car?
Santorum: that robot has no
human feelings!
Karl: will there be a brokered convention?
Will: Newt Gingrich wants to be another
Warren Harding and he could do it
Henderson: Newt is both Rick’s
wingman and his worst nightmare
Barbour: a brokered convention is
not all bad - the GOP had one in 1976
Karl: you lost in 1976
Barbour: that dang Carter had
some mad political skills
Ignatius: Rick Santorum could be
a great nominee
Burton: Romney could be our first
non-human candidate
Karl: but the 2008 Democratic primary
went on forever
Burton: yes but Clinton and Obama
were great candidates and Frothy
and Mitt are idiots
Barbour: no one likes Obama!
Burton: keep telling yourself that Foghorn
Karl: thanks for coming
********************************************
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Meet The Press - March 11, 2012
Guests:
Rick Santorum
Gov. Martin O’Malley (D-MD)
Gov. Bob McDonnell (R-VA)
Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)
Rev. Al Sharpton
E.J. Dionne
Peggy Noonan
*****************************
Gregory: good morning - Mitt Romney
won in Wyoming and Guam with a
big win for Rick Santorum in Kansas
but he lost the Virgin Islands
Audience: how did that happen
Gregory: good morning Rick -
why is Newt Gingrich still running?
Santorum: because he’s an egomaniac
Gregory: would you like him to get out
Santorum: yes but you can’t push
Newt around
Gregory: isn’t this race over?
Santorum: I’m up 30 points in Texas!
Gregory: sweet
Santorum: I’m going to take most of
the delegates in Iowa
Gregory: didn’t we do that months ago?
Santorum: yes but it takes Iowans six
weeks to figure out who won
Gregory: I see
Gregory: Mitt Romney is winning
all the battlegrounds
Santorum: not Gettysburg
Gregory: fair enough
Santorum: the delegates are unbound!
Gregory: sounds kinky
Santorum: we’re crawling our way back
Gregory: so just tell Gingrich to get out!
Santorum: you put it well
Gregory: Obama’s economic growth
has breadth and brawn!
Santorum: Obama has failed to build the
keystone pipeline which will bring
down gas prices in 2065!
Gregory: ok
Santorum: we must drill offshore
and in national parks
Gregory: so how do you win this election?
Santorum: gas prices are high!
Gregory: I see
Santorum: I will repeal every
regulation in America!
Gregory: awesome
Santorum: growth has been very
good under this President
Gregory: uh-huh
Santorum: but Obamacare is bad!
Gregory: American has never
had a coherent energy policy
Santorum: those radical environmentalists
don’t care about the environment -
they just worship rocks!
Gregory: Frothy aren’t you a big
government earmarking spender?
Santorum: no Fluffy I hate spending -
I just keep voting for it
Gregory: you voted for the prescription drug giveaway
Santorum: yes but that funneled money
to the private sector so it’s okay
Gregory: ok
Santorum: Romney is for requiring man dates!
Gregory: good lord
Santorum: Mitt Romney lied on Meet The Press
Gregory: I’m shocked
Santorum: the biggest issue in 2012
will be Obamacare and Mitt Romney supported it!
Gregory: go on Rick
Santorum: First the climate changed
and then Mitt Romney changed!
Gregory: ha
Santorum: I’m Rick Santorum and I never change!
Gregory: did your wife tell you to stop
attacking John F. Kennedy
Santorum: my wife is a nurse and a lawyer
and when I said going to college makes you
a big snob she told me “Rick I love you but
for the love of god shut the fuck up”
Gregory: did she tell you not to run for President?
Santorum: no actually she encouraged
me to get out of the house for a year or so
Gregory: that makes sense
Santorum: I have a small child with medical
needs and I had to prevent kids like her
from being murdered by government-provided
health care
Gregory: thanks for coming Rickster
[ break ]
Gregory: apparently a US soldier shot
civilians in Afghanistan
McDonnell: yeah it’s too bad but I love the military
O’Malley: we need a calm President who
will get us the hell out of Afghanistan
Gregory: 700,000 jobs have been created
in the last year
O’Malley: 24 months of job growth isn’t
too shabby Fluffy
McDonnell: Obama caused the
recession in 2007
Gregory: I see
McDonnell: also the debt is very high -
remember how we defeated Ronald Reagan
and George W. Bush over the debt?
Gregory: No I don’t
O’Malley: guess what - banning contraception
isn’t going to create jobs
McDonnell: the Republican party created
all the new jobs under Obama!
Gregory: unemployment is going down
McDonnell: Mitt Romney ran the Olympics!
Gregory: you backed a law to require
women to have a trans-vaginal ultrasound
McDonnell: why don’t you talk about
all the laws I passed that didn’t require
an invasive bodily procedure?
Gregory: ummm
McDonnell: the Democrats are obsessed
with passing abortion bills
Gregory: the Democrats forced you to
enact a law with unprecedented intrusion
into the human body?
McDonnell: yes because they love
to raise taxes!
O’Malley: rolling back unions, voting rights
and reproductive rights are not going
to create jobs Bob
Gregory: you like to be Vice President?
McDonnell: jobs spending and taxes!
Gregory: ok Bob
[ break ]
Gregory: Can Romney win among humans
and can Santorum win among sane people?
Noonan: Romney is going to win because
we have seen in iPad era that people fall
in love with their machines
Blackburn: conservatives want someone
who will listen to their whining
Sharpton: their real question as this primary
goes is how many more people
can these guys alienate?
Dionne: Romney is weak among Christians
and tea partiers but his real problem is that
he looks like an out of touch rich guy
Gregory: speaking of Rush Limbaugh -
whatever happened to civility?
Sharpton: we need to be mature in our
political discourse
Blackburn: the American people are so
ticked off by incivility they are going directly
to the Internet for their news and expect
politicians to respect their total misinformation
Gregory: Obama seems to bring out hatred
- I wonder why?
Noonan: the rise of the radio and the Internet
seems to give rise to a war on women -
why won’t Obama speak out?
Dionne: Limbaugh is evil - but normal
people can get along
Blackburn: it’s like when you fight with
your weird relatives at Thanksgiving
but you still get along
Sharpton: I came together with Newt Gingrich
on education - Newt Food Stamps Gingrich!
Noonan: I’m going to go out on a limb
and say using terms like slut and whore
is unacceptable
Gregory: what else do I need to know?
Sharpton: why take away the vote from
millions of people over voter fraud which
is totally fake?
Gregory: Marsha?
Blackburn: the primary will be won
on Jobs and Terror
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
**********************************************
Rick Santorum
Gov. Martin O’Malley (D-MD)
Gov. Bob McDonnell (R-VA)
Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)
Rev. Al Sharpton
E.J. Dionne
Peggy Noonan
*****************************
Gregory: good morning - Mitt Romney
won in Wyoming and Guam with a
big win for Rick Santorum in Kansas
but he lost the Virgin Islands
Audience: how did that happen
Gregory: good morning Rick -
why is Newt Gingrich still running?
Santorum: because he’s an egomaniac
Gregory: would you like him to get out
Santorum: yes but you can’t push
Newt around
Gregory: isn’t this race over?
Santorum: I’m up 30 points in Texas!
Gregory: sweet
Santorum: I’m going to take most of
the delegates in Iowa
Gregory: didn’t we do that months ago?
Santorum: yes but it takes Iowans six
weeks to figure out who won
Gregory: I see
Gregory: Mitt Romney is winning
all the battlegrounds
Santorum: not Gettysburg
Gregory: fair enough
Santorum: the delegates are unbound!
Gregory: sounds kinky
Santorum: we’re crawling our way back
Gregory: so just tell Gingrich to get out!
Santorum: you put it well
Gregory: Obama’s economic growth
has breadth and brawn!
Santorum: Obama has failed to build the
keystone pipeline which will bring
down gas prices in 2065!
Gregory: ok
Santorum: we must drill offshore
and in national parks
Gregory: so how do you win this election?
Santorum: gas prices are high!
Gregory: I see
Santorum: I will repeal every
regulation in America!
Gregory: awesome
Santorum: growth has been very
good under this President
Gregory: uh-huh
Santorum: but Obamacare is bad!
Gregory: American has never
had a coherent energy policy
Santorum: those radical environmentalists
don’t care about the environment -
they just worship rocks!
Gregory: Frothy aren’t you a big
government earmarking spender?
Santorum: no Fluffy I hate spending -
I just keep voting for it
Gregory: you voted for the prescription drug giveaway
Santorum: yes but that funneled money
to the private sector so it’s okay
Gregory: ok
Santorum: Romney is for requiring man dates!
Gregory: good lord
Santorum: Mitt Romney lied on Meet The Press
Gregory: I’m shocked
Santorum: the biggest issue in 2012
will be Obamacare and Mitt Romney supported it!
Gregory: go on Rick
Santorum: First the climate changed
and then Mitt Romney changed!
Gregory: ha
Santorum: I’m Rick Santorum and I never change!
Gregory: did your wife tell you to stop
attacking John F. Kennedy
Santorum: my wife is a nurse and a lawyer
and when I said going to college makes you
a big snob she told me “Rick I love you but
for the love of god shut the fuck up”
Gregory: did she tell you not to run for President?
Santorum: no actually she encouraged
me to get out of the house for a year or so
Gregory: that makes sense
Santorum: I have a small child with medical
needs and I had to prevent kids like her
from being murdered by government-provided
health care
Gregory: thanks for coming Rickster
[ break ]
Gregory: apparently a US soldier shot
civilians in Afghanistan
McDonnell: yeah it’s too bad but I love the military
O’Malley: we need a calm President who
will get us the hell out of Afghanistan
Gregory: 700,000 jobs have been created
in the last year
O’Malley: 24 months of job growth isn’t
too shabby Fluffy
McDonnell: Obama caused the
recession in 2007
Gregory: I see
McDonnell: also the debt is very high -
remember how we defeated Ronald Reagan
and George W. Bush over the debt?
Gregory: No I don’t
O’Malley: guess what - banning contraception
isn’t going to create jobs
McDonnell: the Republican party created
all the new jobs under Obama!
Gregory: unemployment is going down
McDonnell: Mitt Romney ran the Olympics!
Gregory: you backed a law to require
women to have a trans-vaginal ultrasound
McDonnell: why don’t you talk about
all the laws I passed that didn’t require
an invasive bodily procedure?
Gregory: ummm
McDonnell: the Democrats are obsessed
with passing abortion bills
Gregory: the Democrats forced you to
enact a law with unprecedented intrusion
into the human body?
McDonnell: yes because they love
to raise taxes!
O’Malley: rolling back unions, voting rights
and reproductive rights are not going
to create jobs Bob
Gregory: you like to be Vice President?
McDonnell: jobs spending and taxes!
Gregory: ok Bob
[ break ]
Gregory: Can Romney win among humans
and can Santorum win among sane people?
Noonan: Romney is going to win because
we have seen in iPad era that people fall
in love with their machines
Blackburn: conservatives want someone
who will listen to their whining
Sharpton: their real question as this primary
goes is how many more people
can these guys alienate?
Dionne: Romney is weak among Christians
and tea partiers but his real problem is that
he looks like an out of touch rich guy
Gregory: speaking of Rush Limbaugh -
whatever happened to civility?
Sharpton: we need to be mature in our
political discourse
Blackburn: the American people are so
ticked off by incivility they are going directly
to the Internet for their news and expect
politicians to respect their total misinformation
Gregory: Obama seems to bring out hatred
- I wonder why?
Noonan: the rise of the radio and the Internet
seems to give rise to a war on women -
why won’t Obama speak out?
Dionne: Limbaugh is evil - but normal
people can get along
Blackburn: it’s like when you fight with
your weird relatives at Thanksgiving
but you still get along
Sharpton: I came together with Newt Gingrich
on education - Newt Food Stamps Gingrich!
Noonan: I’m going to go out on a limb
and say using terms like slut and whore
is unacceptable
Gregory: what else do I need to know?
Sharpton: why take away the vote from
millions of people over voter fraud which
is totally fake?
Gregory: Marsha?
Blackburn: the primary will be won
on Jobs and Terror
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
**********************************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - March 11, 2012
Guests:
Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC)
Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY)
Eliot Spitzer
Nicole Wallace
Mary Matalin
Austan Goolsbee
Jake Tapper
***********************************
Stephanopoulos: wow Rick Santorum
took Kansas but Mitt Romney won Guam!
Audience: holy crap
Stephanopoulos: is the economy getting
better Lindsay?
Graham: the deficit is really high
Schumer: it always is Linds
Graham: big things are not happening
on Obama’s watch
Schumer: really big things happened
under Bush - like a really big recession
Graham: we are not drilling enough
in public parks!
Schumer: Republicans are obsessed
banning contraception
Stephanopoulos: that doesn’t matter
because Bill Maher made a joke about boobs
Graham: we’re not drilling enough
oil in the Gulf of Mexico!
Schumer: or we could conserve energy
Stephanopoulos: Obama practically
promised to attack Iran
Graham: that’s fine and yet we still
haven’t bombed them
Stephanopoulos: true
Graham: I would like to repeat that we
must drill on public lands!
Schumer: Obama is going to attack Iran
and it is going to awesome!!
Stephanopoulos: how big a disaster
is Afghanistan?
Graham: we finally have the Taliban
on the defensive!
Stephanopoulos: an American soldier went
rogue and killed a dozen civillians
Graham: these things happen
Stephanopoulos: when Obama pulled out
of Iraq he told Iran he wasn’t serious
Schumer: that’s stupid and Afghanistan
is a horror show
Stephanopoulos: can anyone beat Mitt Romney?
Graham: my heart is with Rick Santorum
but my loins are with Mitt Romney
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Does God want Mitt
Romney to win?
Matalin: he must because he’s got
the most money
Stephanopoulos: will this ever end?
Matalin: I love a long campaign!
Spitzer: this campaign is fracturing the GOP
Wallace: people love Mitt Romney!
Stephanopoulos: will Mitt put Rick
on the ticket?
Goolsbee: LOL
Tapper: Newt Gingrich is preparing
for a floor fight!
Spitzer: never get into a floor
fight with a newt
Wallace: women hate Rick Santorum
Matalin: no one cares about social issues!
Stephanopoulos: no?
Matalin: Obama is Jimmy Carter!
Spitzer: oh how you wish Mary
***************************************
Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC)
Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY)
Eliot Spitzer
Nicole Wallace
Mary Matalin
Austan Goolsbee
Jake Tapper
***********************************
Stephanopoulos: wow Rick Santorum
took Kansas but Mitt Romney won Guam!
Audience: holy crap
Stephanopoulos: is the economy getting
better Lindsay?
Graham: the deficit is really high
Schumer: it always is Linds
Graham: big things are not happening
on Obama’s watch
Schumer: really big things happened
under Bush - like a really big recession
Graham: we are not drilling enough
in public parks!
Schumer: Republicans are obsessed
banning contraception
Stephanopoulos: that doesn’t matter
because Bill Maher made a joke about boobs
Graham: we’re not drilling enough
oil in the Gulf of Mexico!
Schumer: or we could conserve energy
Stephanopoulos: Obama practically
promised to attack Iran
Graham: that’s fine and yet we still
haven’t bombed them
Stephanopoulos: true
Graham: I would like to repeat that we
must drill on public lands!
Schumer: Obama is going to attack Iran
and it is going to awesome!!
Stephanopoulos: how big a disaster
is Afghanistan?
Graham: we finally have the Taliban
on the defensive!
Stephanopoulos: an American soldier went
rogue and killed a dozen civillians
Graham: these things happen
Stephanopoulos: when Obama pulled out
of Iraq he told Iran he wasn’t serious
Schumer: that’s stupid and Afghanistan
is a horror show
Stephanopoulos: can anyone beat Mitt Romney?
Graham: my heart is with Rick Santorum
but my loins are with Mitt Romney
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Does God want Mitt
Romney to win?
Matalin: he must because he’s got
the most money
Stephanopoulos: will this ever end?
Matalin: I love a long campaign!
Spitzer: this campaign is fracturing the GOP
Wallace: people love Mitt Romney!
Stephanopoulos: will Mitt put Rick
on the ticket?
Goolsbee: LOL
Tapper: Newt Gingrich is preparing
for a floor fight!
Spitzer: never get into a floor
fight with a newt
Wallace: women hate Rick Santorum
Matalin: no one cares about social issues!
Stephanopoulos: no?
Matalin: Obama is Jimmy Carter!
Spitzer: oh how you wish Mary
***************************************
Sunday, March 04, 2012
Meet The Press - March 4, 2012
Guests:
Newt Gingrich
Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA)
Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-FL)
Mayor Kasim Reed (D-Atlanta)
Savannah Guthrie
Mike Murphy
Mark Halperin
******************************
Gregory: what will happen Super Tuesday?
Todd: If Romney takes Tennessee this
baby is over!
Gregory: speaking of babies - Newt I
want to ask you about contraception
Gingrich: oh please no
Gregory: Rush Limbaugh called a student
a slut and a prostitute
Gingrich: I am astonished at the
desperation of the media!
Gregory: you don’t want to talk
about contraception?
Gingrich: Obama caused the Afghanistan
war and the recession in 2007 and no one
ever talks about that!
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: Obama wants to turn all
Catholic church property to Muslims!
Gregory: uh-huh
Gingrich: Obama supports murdering babies!
Gregory: please continue
Gingrich: Obama ordered the Catholic
church to give up all colleges and
universities and hospitals
Gregory: so you support Rush Limbaugh?
Gingrich: Obama abandoned soldiers
to Muslim fanatics!
Gregory: got it
Gingrich: should protestants be told
pay for abortion pills?
Gregory: okay
Gingrich: this is the most fundamental
assault on religious freedom ever
but I don’t want to talk about it
Gregory: I think I follow you
Gingrich: this is a very very serious
fundamental fight!
Gregory: oh now suddenly you do
want to talk about it
Gingrich: Fuck you Fluffy
Gregory: you are a loser
Gingrich: we’ve worked very hard to
take my home state
Gregory: you and Rick Santorum are
fighting over the anti-Romney vote
Gingrich: you can’t kill me!
I keep coming back!
Gregory: so you do
Gingrich: unlike Santorum I will not
bow to a Saudi King!
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: I am a pragmatist and not
an ideological pointy-headed
intellectual like Santorum
Gregory: Obama is talking tough on Iran
Gingrich: Obama is a failure because
he never tells me what covert action
he’s taking
Gregory: interesting perspective
Gingrich: Iran clearly doesn’t fear
Obama’s bombs because they are
digging in underground to withstand
Obama’s bombs
Gregory: can the GOP unite?
Gingrich: yes because Obama will
engineer another Holocaust!
Gregory: thanks for coming Newt
[ break ]
Gregory: Eric will you endorse anyone
Cantor: yes I today I endorse Mitt Romney
because I looked at all the candidates
and realized Rick Santorum is crazy
and Gingrich is a total asshole
Gregory: I see
Cantor: Romney will cut taxes which
is a very bold idea which always works
Gregory: Newt and Ricky aren’t even
on the ballot in Virginia
Cantor: what morons
Gregory: would you like to be Vice President?
Cantor: ha you’re so funny Fluffy
Gregory: what do you think of Rush Limbaugh
Cantor: he’s a hero for apologizing
Gregory: Romney waffled on Rush
Cantor: Mitt Romney’s candidacy is
about very clearly taking every side
of every issue
Gregory: why didn’t the House let a
woman testify about contraception?
Cantor: this is about religion - it has
nothing to do with women!
Gregory: why is it bad that insurance
companies would have to pay for
comprehensive health care coverage
Cantor: the government should never
tell people of faith what they can or can’t do
Gregory: what about the rights of women?
Cantor: Obama hates Catholics and
probably Jews too
Gregory: the economy is finally recovering
Cantor: Obama caused the recession in 2007
Gregory: he did?
Cantor: oh yes Fluffy
Gregory: gas prices are high
Cantor: Obama hates fossil fuels which
is terrible - God created those dinosaurs
4,000 years ago so we could take solar panels
off the White House roof
Gregory: wow
Cantor: Obama is hostile to coal - who
doesn’t love puppies, apple pie and coal??
Gregory: What’s wrong with Mittens?
Cantor: I believe he will do well in Virginia
Gregory: he’s the only one on the
ballot besides Ron Paul!
Cantor: so he should get about the
half the votes - maybe more!
Gregory: thanks for coming Eric
[ break ]
Gregory: Debbie Is Obama taking away
religious liberty?
Wasserman-Schultz: No Fluffy
Gregory: so you say
Wasserman-Schultz: the Blunt amendment
would have given an exception to all employers
Gregory: yes but under Obama’s rule
women would have access to contraception
so isn’t Newt Gingrich right?
Wasserman-Schultz: the Republicans
oppose Obama’s rule you idiot
Gregory: they do?
Wasserman-Schultz: then we had Rush
Limbaugh calling a student a slut and
Mitt Romney didn’t say anything
Gregory: you guys are raising money off this!
Wasserman-Schultz: women vote - who knew?
Gregory: the Catholic church says we
should be all celibate because it’s worked
so well for them
Wasserman-Schultz: Obama already compromised
when he said religious institutions don’t have
to pay for contraception
Gregory: Bill Clinton said Obama should
support the Keystone pipeline
Wasserman-Schultz: the Republicans
made Obama reject it
Gregory: they did?
Wasserman-Schultz: Keystone would take
45 years and wouldn’t create jobs or
lower gas prices - other than that
it’s a great idea
[ break ]
Gregory: what happens on Super Tuesday?
Halperin: it doesn’t matter - Romney
will still be the nominee
Gregory: he’s still a terrible candidate
Murphy: if he wins Tennessee he can
say he won in the South and pivot to
not terrifying independent voters
Reed: he can’t talk about his Wall Street
record, Olympic earmarks or his health
care plan as Governor
Gregory: aren’t both sides to blame for
what Rush Limbaugh said?
Guthrie: indeed both sides are equally at fault
Greg: did Romney miss a Sister Soljah moment?
Murphy: the liberal versions of Rush Limbaugh
get a free pass for not saying what he said
Guthrie: Obama is worse for calling the
law student and expressing sympathy
Halperin: oh wow you guys are worse than me
Reed: Romney is a timid flip-flopping coward
Gregory: Romney is pretty weak considering
he’s probably going to be the nominee
Guthrie: it’s so sad that better candidates
never got in the race
Gregory: can he unite the party?
Halperin: can he stop being such an
incoherent dumbass?
Murphy: can he speak garbed Spanish
as well as English?
Gregory: he’s seems utterly confused
about everything
Murphy: I feel sorry for Mittens because
nymphomaniacs don’t like him
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
************************************************
Newt Gingrich
Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA)
Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-FL)
Mayor Kasim Reed (D-Atlanta)
Savannah Guthrie
Mike Murphy
Mark Halperin
******************************
Gregory: what will happen Super Tuesday?
Todd: If Romney takes Tennessee this
baby is over!
Gregory: speaking of babies - Newt I
want to ask you about contraception
Gingrich: oh please no
Gregory: Rush Limbaugh called a student
a slut and a prostitute
Gingrich: I am astonished at the
desperation of the media!
Gregory: you don’t want to talk
about contraception?
Gingrich: Obama caused the Afghanistan
war and the recession in 2007 and no one
ever talks about that!
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: Obama wants to turn all
Catholic church property to Muslims!
Gregory: uh-huh
Gingrich: Obama supports murdering babies!
Gregory: please continue
Gingrich: Obama ordered the Catholic
church to give up all colleges and
universities and hospitals
Gregory: so you support Rush Limbaugh?
Gingrich: Obama abandoned soldiers
to Muslim fanatics!
Gregory: got it
Gingrich: should protestants be told
pay for abortion pills?
Gregory: okay
Gingrich: this is the most fundamental
assault on religious freedom ever
but I don’t want to talk about it
Gregory: I think I follow you
Gingrich: this is a very very serious
fundamental fight!
Gregory: oh now suddenly you do
want to talk about it
Gingrich: Fuck you Fluffy
Gregory: you are a loser
Gingrich: we’ve worked very hard to
take my home state
Gregory: you and Rick Santorum are
fighting over the anti-Romney vote
Gingrich: you can’t kill me!
I keep coming back!
Gregory: so you do
Gingrich: unlike Santorum I will not
bow to a Saudi King!
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: I am a pragmatist and not
an ideological pointy-headed
intellectual like Santorum
Gregory: Obama is talking tough on Iran
Gingrich: Obama is a failure because
he never tells me what covert action
he’s taking
Gregory: interesting perspective
Gingrich: Iran clearly doesn’t fear
Obama’s bombs because they are
digging in underground to withstand
Obama’s bombs
Gregory: can the GOP unite?
Gingrich: yes because Obama will
engineer another Holocaust!
Gregory: thanks for coming Newt
[ break ]
Gregory: Eric will you endorse anyone
Cantor: yes I today I endorse Mitt Romney
because I looked at all the candidates
and realized Rick Santorum is crazy
and Gingrich is a total asshole
Gregory: I see
Cantor: Romney will cut taxes which
is a very bold idea which always works
Gregory: Newt and Ricky aren’t even
on the ballot in Virginia
Cantor: what morons
Gregory: would you like to be Vice President?
Cantor: ha you’re so funny Fluffy
Gregory: what do you think of Rush Limbaugh
Cantor: he’s a hero for apologizing
Gregory: Romney waffled on Rush
Cantor: Mitt Romney’s candidacy is
about very clearly taking every side
of every issue
Gregory: why didn’t the House let a
woman testify about contraception?
Cantor: this is about religion - it has
nothing to do with women!
Gregory: why is it bad that insurance
companies would have to pay for
comprehensive health care coverage
Cantor: the government should never
tell people of faith what they can or can’t do
Gregory: what about the rights of women?
Cantor: Obama hates Catholics and
probably Jews too
Gregory: the economy is finally recovering
Cantor: Obama caused the recession in 2007
Gregory: he did?
Cantor: oh yes Fluffy
Gregory: gas prices are high
Cantor: Obama hates fossil fuels which
is terrible - God created those dinosaurs
4,000 years ago so we could take solar panels
off the White House roof
Gregory: wow
Cantor: Obama is hostile to coal - who
doesn’t love puppies, apple pie and coal??
Gregory: What’s wrong with Mittens?
Cantor: I believe he will do well in Virginia
Gregory: he’s the only one on the
ballot besides Ron Paul!
Cantor: so he should get about the
half the votes - maybe more!
Gregory: thanks for coming Eric
[ break ]
Gregory: Debbie Is Obama taking away
religious liberty?
Wasserman-Schultz: No Fluffy
Gregory: so you say
Wasserman-Schultz: the Blunt amendment
would have given an exception to all employers
Gregory: yes but under Obama’s rule
women would have access to contraception
so isn’t Newt Gingrich right?
Wasserman-Schultz: the Republicans
oppose Obama’s rule you idiot
Gregory: they do?
Wasserman-Schultz: then we had Rush
Limbaugh calling a student a slut and
Mitt Romney didn’t say anything
Gregory: you guys are raising money off this!
Wasserman-Schultz: women vote - who knew?
Gregory: the Catholic church says we
should be all celibate because it’s worked
so well for them
Wasserman-Schultz: Obama already compromised
when he said religious institutions don’t have
to pay for contraception
Gregory: Bill Clinton said Obama should
support the Keystone pipeline
Wasserman-Schultz: the Republicans
made Obama reject it
Gregory: they did?
Wasserman-Schultz: Keystone would take
45 years and wouldn’t create jobs or
lower gas prices - other than that
it’s a great idea
[ break ]
Gregory: what happens on Super Tuesday?
Halperin: it doesn’t matter - Romney
will still be the nominee
Gregory: he’s still a terrible candidate
Murphy: if he wins Tennessee he can
say he won in the South and pivot to
not terrifying independent voters
Reed: he can’t talk about his Wall Street
record, Olympic earmarks or his health
care plan as Governor
Gregory: aren’t both sides to blame for
what Rush Limbaugh said?
Guthrie: indeed both sides are equally at fault
Greg: did Romney miss a Sister Soljah moment?
Murphy: the liberal versions of Rush Limbaugh
get a free pass for not saying what he said
Guthrie: Obama is worse for calling the
law student and expressing sympathy
Halperin: oh wow you guys are worse than me
Reed: Romney is a timid flip-flopping coward
Gregory: Romney is pretty weak considering
he’s probably going to be the nominee
Guthrie: it’s so sad that better candidates
never got in the race
Gregory: can he unite the party?
Halperin: can he stop being such an
incoherent dumbass?
Murphy: can he speak garbed Spanish
as well as English?
Gregory: he’s seems utterly confused
about everything
Murphy: I feel sorry for Mittens because
nymphomaniacs don’t like him
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
************************************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - March 4, 2012
Guests:
Gingrich
Axelrod
Howard Dean
Peggy Noonan
Donna Brazile
******************************
Stephanopoulos: wow could Mitt Romney
finally take this race?
Gingrich: No
Stephanopoulos: welcome Newt
Stephanopoulos: given no one likes you
how can you possibly win?
Gingrich: hey no one likes Mitt Romney either
Stephanopoulos: what else?
Gingrich: I promise not govern as a Muslim!
Stephanopoulos: you and Rick Santorum
are splitting the wacko vote
Gingrich: I will not allow Ricky to
out-crazy me!
Stephanopoulos: go on
Gingrich: he favors a minimum wage
much like a communist would
Stephanopoulos: will this long primary
fight hurt the eventual nominee?
Gingrich: hey Obama and Clinton
battled for months and he kicked
McCain’s ass
Stephanopoulos: good point
Gingrich: Obama is mean and but
I am a sadist!
Stephanopoulos: can you really give
America $2.00 a gallon gas?
Gingrich: yes because if oil was natural
gas it would cost $1.15 a gallon
Stephanopoulos: wow
Gingrich: Obama said publicly he wants
us to be enslaved to Saudi Arabia just
like all of Europe
Stephanopoulos: Rush Limbaugh says
preventive health care is for sluts
Gingrich: you are such an elitist George
Stephanopoulos: I am?
Gingrich: let’s be clear about this -
Obama wants to ban Catholicism
Stephanopoulos: oh
Gingrich: Sandra Fluke should go out
and buy her own damn sexytime pills
Stephanopoulos: ok
Gingrich: Vasectomies are the
work of the Devil!
Stephanopoulos: Was Limbaugh
right to apologize?
Gingrich: Obama apologized to Al-Qaeda!!
Stephanopoulos: so did Generals
on the ground
Gingrich: Obama wants the U.N. to put
American soldiers in jail!
Stephanopoulos: amazing
Gingrich: if those damn Afghans don’t
appreciate all we’ve done for them then
we should just fucking leave
Stephanopoulos: Obama told Iran
“I don’t bluff motherfuckers!”
Gingrich: Obama is so cowardly he’s
going to wait for evidence Iran is
getting the bomb instead of attacking first
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: David what if Israel attacks Iran?
Axelrod: Obama goes around the world
killing people - don’t fuck with him!
Stephanopoulos: Karl Rove says Obama
is weak and soft on Israel
Axelrod: Ask Osama bin Laden how
weak Obama is
Stephanopoulos: should Obama have
apologized for the Koran burning?
Axelrod: his the Commander in Chief
and is trying to save lives
Stephanopoulos: Obama wants
higher gas prices!
Axelrod: no he doesn’t but the President
doesn’t control the worldwide
free market in gas
Stephanopoulos: that’s no excuse
Axelrod: well it’s the truth
Stephanopoulos: Aren’t Rush Limbaugh
and President Obama equally to blame
for calling a student a slut?
Axelrod: every single woman in America
needs true comprehensive health insurance
Stephanopoulos: you’re no fun at all
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: I’m feeling Romneyentropy!
Will: the question is not can he win but
what the fuck is wrong with him
Stephanopoulos: Interesting
Dowd: If Santorum doesn’t win Ohio he
will have to go back crying about women
having sex on K Street
Dean: Watching this primary I haven’t
been this freaked out since I took the
brown acid at Woodstock
Noonan: The Republican candidates this time
are bloody insane but we gotta mellow out
[ sips martini ]
Dowd: we knew Mitt Romney would
have trouble getting conservatives but
we didn’t know he was such a dumbass
but no one can take
the nomination either
Dowd: because they are idiots!
Will: face we’re screwed
Noonan: who cares about the stupid
Presidency anyway
[ twizzles drink ]
Brazile: you’re funny Peggy
Dean: Obama will defeat the Army
of northern Virginia!
Stephanopoulos: Yeeeaaahhhh!!!!
***************************************
Gingrich
Axelrod
Howard Dean
Peggy Noonan
Donna Brazile
******************************
Stephanopoulos: wow could Mitt Romney
finally take this race?
Gingrich: No
Stephanopoulos: welcome Newt
Stephanopoulos: given no one likes you
how can you possibly win?
Gingrich: hey no one likes Mitt Romney either
Stephanopoulos: what else?
Gingrich: I promise not govern as a Muslim!
Stephanopoulos: you and Rick Santorum
are splitting the wacko vote
Gingrich: I will not allow Ricky to
out-crazy me!
Stephanopoulos: go on
Gingrich: he favors a minimum wage
much like a communist would
Stephanopoulos: will this long primary
fight hurt the eventual nominee?
Gingrich: hey Obama and Clinton
battled for months and he kicked
McCain’s ass
Stephanopoulos: good point
Gingrich: Obama is mean and but
I am a sadist!
Stephanopoulos: can you really give
America $2.00 a gallon gas?
Gingrich: yes because if oil was natural
gas it would cost $1.15 a gallon
Stephanopoulos: wow
Gingrich: Obama said publicly he wants
us to be enslaved to Saudi Arabia just
like all of Europe
Stephanopoulos: Rush Limbaugh says
preventive health care is for sluts
Gingrich: you are such an elitist George
Stephanopoulos: I am?
Gingrich: let’s be clear about this -
Obama wants to ban Catholicism
Stephanopoulos: oh
Gingrich: Sandra Fluke should go out
and buy her own damn sexytime pills
Stephanopoulos: ok
Gingrich: Vasectomies are the
work of the Devil!
Stephanopoulos: Was Limbaugh
right to apologize?
Gingrich: Obama apologized to Al-Qaeda!!
Stephanopoulos: so did Generals
on the ground
Gingrich: Obama wants the U.N. to put
American soldiers in jail!
Stephanopoulos: amazing
Gingrich: if those damn Afghans don’t
appreciate all we’ve done for them then
we should just fucking leave
Stephanopoulos: Obama told Iran
“I don’t bluff motherfuckers!”
Gingrich: Obama is so cowardly he’s
going to wait for evidence Iran is
getting the bomb instead of attacking first
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: David what if Israel attacks Iran?
Axelrod: Obama goes around the world
killing people - don’t fuck with him!
Stephanopoulos: Karl Rove says Obama
is weak and soft on Israel
Axelrod: Ask Osama bin Laden how
weak Obama is
Stephanopoulos: should Obama have
apologized for the Koran burning?
Axelrod: his the Commander in Chief
and is trying to save lives
Stephanopoulos: Obama wants
higher gas prices!
Axelrod: no he doesn’t but the President
doesn’t control the worldwide
free market in gas
Stephanopoulos: that’s no excuse
Axelrod: well it’s the truth
Stephanopoulos: Aren’t Rush Limbaugh
and President Obama equally to blame
for calling a student a slut?
Axelrod: every single woman in America
needs true comprehensive health insurance
Stephanopoulos: you’re no fun at all
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: I’m feeling Romneyentropy!
Will: the question is not can he win but
what the fuck is wrong with him
Stephanopoulos: Interesting
Dowd: If Santorum doesn’t win Ohio he
will have to go back crying about women
having sex on K Street
Dean: Watching this primary I haven’t
been this freaked out since I took the
brown acid at Woodstock
Noonan: The Republican candidates this time
are bloody insane but we gotta mellow out
[ sips martini ]
Dowd: we knew Mitt Romney would
have trouble getting conservatives but
we didn’t know he was such a dumbass
but no one can take
the nomination either
Dowd: because they are idiots!
Will: face we’re screwed
Noonan: who cares about the stupid
Presidency anyway
[ twizzles drink ]
Brazile: you’re funny Peggy
Dean: Obama will defeat the Army
of northern Virginia!
Stephanopoulos: Yeeeaaahhhh!!!!
***************************************
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Meet The Press - February 26, 2012
Guests:
Rick Santorum
Gov. Jerry Brown (D-CA)
Gov. Jan Brewer (R-AZ)
Chuck Todd
Kathleen Parker
Harold Ford
Steve Schmidt
*****************************
Gregory: President Obama personally
apologized to President Karzai for this apparently
inadvertent act of burning the Korans!
Santorum: a President should never apologize
should making a mistake if it was inadvertent
Gregory: No?
Santorum: no you say you made a mistake
and meant no disrespect but you are
definitely not sorry and do not apologize
Gregory: right
Santorum: when you apologize you just make
people mad unlike when don’t apologize
which people love
Gregory: got it
Santorum: they should apologize to us!
Gregory: should we leave Afghanistan?
Santorum: yes but should not tell anyone
in advance - we should just suddenly
leave in the middle of the night like
all my house guests do
Gregory: can you win lose Arizona?
Santorum: I love Jan Brewer's bravery in
standing up to that big bully Barack Obama
Gregory: I see
Santorum: this is a one-and-half-person race
Gregory: explain that
Santorum: Romney is a not a full
person - he is a cyborg
Gregory: what about Ron Paul?
Santorum: Paul made a deal with
Romney to destroy me!
Gregory: you really think that?
Santorum: how else to explain his
bizarre behavior?
Gregory: he’s just crazy?
Santorum: I admit I can’t rule
that possibility out
Gregory: you say Obama is a snob
who hates decent people for
going to college
Santorum: Obama wants people to
go to college which are incredibly lefty
and politically correct and where you can’t
shout ethnic slurs which is the new McCarthyism
Gregory: unemployment for people who
went to college is only 4%
Santorum: look I have 7 kids and without
naming names not all of them
are college material if you know
what I mean
Gregory: hey if all else fails they
can become talk show hosts
Santorum: that would really would
shame my family
Gregory: ha ha
Santorum: look Obama is a snob who
looks down his nose at uneducated
white people
Gregory: you voted for No Child Left Behind
and yelled at the debate audience
Santorum: shut up folks!
Gregory: do you often betray your conscience?
Santorum: Romney has no principles at all!
Gregory: we all know that
Santorum: all children should be home schooled!
Gregory: please continue
Santorum: kids should be left in the
woods to fend for themselves!
Gregory: you make unprincipled decisions
all the time apparently
Santorum: name one Fluffy!
Gregory: the steel bailout
Santorum: the Chinese were cheating
at capitalism
Gregory: okay
Santorum: I love what no bailouts did
to the Pennsylvania steel industry
Gregory: you would give manufacturing
a tax break but wouldn’t extend
unemployment benefits
Santorum: that’s different because manufacturers
have to compete internationally but
unemployed people are lazy
Gregory: John F. Kennedy said religious
views are private and politicians should
not impose religion on the
people or government
Santorum: he also said separation of
church and state should be absolute
which is horrible
Gregory: uh huh
Santorum: JFK said religious people should
be banned from the public and that’s not fair
Gregory: he said that?
Santorum: yes which means Kennedy
approved of slavery!
Gregory: I never knew any of this
Santorum: and now Obama wants
to ban religion!
Gregory: the Wall Street Journal says
you are a finger-wagging dolt
Santorum: Fluffy why are you asking me
about my religion?
Gregory: you talk about it all the time Frothy!
Santorum: yes because our nation is
falling apart because we must ban
contraception which leads
to out of wedlock births!
Gregory: you will not win an Oscar
or the Daytona 500
Santorum: the race is perfect because it’s
watching a bunch of white men crash and burn
while making left turns
[ break ]
Gregory: Jan Brewer will you endorse
any candidates?
Brewer: absolutely I am endorsing
Mitt Romney and will work really hard
to get him elected
Gregory: dear god - why?
Brown: he is by far the person who can win
Gregory: very well put
Brewer: I have never been party to
an election like this
Gregory: Jerry you ran for President in 1992
Brown: Go Ron Paul go!
Gregory: you say the GOP is committing
political suicide
Brown: the GOP caused a recession and
started two wars and now they want to
take away women’s rights
Gregory: should we ban college as a
liberal conspiracy?
Brown: I like pipefitters!
Gregory: in 1978 you said and I quote
“I like Mexican-Americans!
Ten-Four good buddy! Groovy!”
Brown: I stand by that statement
Gregory: what about illegal immigrants?
Brown: we need a path to citizenship!
Gregory: Jan you have a law demanding
the papers of brown-looking people
Brewer: Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!
Gregory: just answer the question
Brewer: Mexico is sending its
drug crimes to Flagstaff!
Gregory: sounds scary
Brewer: Mexicans have brought Extortion!
Torture! Kidnapping!
Brown: the dope comes up and
the dough goes down!
Gregory: why would you refuse to
testify on Capitol Hill about immigration?
Brewer: During the Oscars? Not a chance!
Gregory: Obama doesn’t want to
control the border! He wants to send
guns to drug criminals! He ignores murders!
Gregory: gas prices are very high
Brown: We need mass transit! And electric cars!
We must invent a car that runs on hemp!
Gregory: Is California ungovernable?
Brown: it’s still a state of freaks and weirdos!
I love it!
Gregory: thanks governors
Brown: dude!
[ break ]
Gregory: OMG Romney could
lose Michigan!
Todd: Democrats are going to vote
for Rick Santorum
Gregory: ha ha
Schmidt: Santorum is busy excusing his
big government votes and also his
crazy-ass beliefs
Gregory: Kathleen you say voters don’t
want a sanctimonious asshole
Parker: Santorum’s best friends like
him but think he’s fucking crazy
and a little mean
Gregory: he says church and state
should be unified
Ford: I’m conservative but this
guy is a loon
Gregory: oh my
Ford: he won’t apologize for burning
a Koran but how would he feel if
people burned a Bible?
Gregory: can we get anyone else
in the Republican primary?
Todd: look I realize people hate
Romney and Santorum but it’s a
little late now
Gregory: a brokered convention
would be a lot of fun!
Schmidt: Excuse me? The delegates are
all going to be tea party wackos!
Gregory: Independents appear to
dislike Mitt Romney
Ford: I’m an independent and I like him
Gregory: so he’s got one supporter
Ford: hell no I don’t trust that
flip-flopping robot
Gregory: Mitt Romney seem to not be
able to utter sentences like a human
Parker: he’s a dork but think of him as
a doctor who completely lacks a
bedside manner and who also advocates
returning to using leeches
Gregory: Steve you are a character in a
movie played by Woody Harrelson!
Schmidt: he gets Julianne Moore and
I got Sarah Palin
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
***********************************
Rick Santorum
Gov. Jerry Brown (D-CA)
Gov. Jan Brewer (R-AZ)
Chuck Todd
Kathleen Parker
Harold Ford
Steve Schmidt
*****************************
Gregory: President Obama personally
apologized to President Karzai for this apparently
inadvertent act of burning the Korans!
Santorum: a President should never apologize
should making a mistake if it was inadvertent
Gregory: No?
Santorum: no you say you made a mistake
and meant no disrespect but you are
definitely not sorry and do not apologize
Gregory: right
Santorum: when you apologize you just make
people mad unlike when don’t apologize
which people love
Gregory: got it
Santorum: they should apologize to us!
Gregory: should we leave Afghanistan?
Santorum: yes but should not tell anyone
in advance - we should just suddenly
leave in the middle of the night like
all my house guests do
Gregory: can you win lose Arizona?
Santorum: I love Jan Brewer's bravery in
standing up to that big bully Barack Obama
Gregory: I see
Santorum: this is a one-and-half-person race
Gregory: explain that
Santorum: Romney is a not a full
person - he is a cyborg
Gregory: what about Ron Paul?
Santorum: Paul made a deal with
Romney to destroy me!
Gregory: you really think that?
Santorum: how else to explain his
bizarre behavior?
Gregory: he’s just crazy?
Santorum: I admit I can’t rule
that possibility out
Gregory: you say Obama is a snob
who hates decent people for
going to college
Santorum: Obama wants people to
go to college which are incredibly lefty
and politically correct and where you can’t
shout ethnic slurs which is the new McCarthyism
Gregory: unemployment for people who
went to college is only 4%
Santorum: look I have 7 kids and without
naming names not all of them
are college material if you know
what I mean
Gregory: hey if all else fails they
can become talk show hosts
Santorum: that would really would
shame my family
Gregory: ha ha
Santorum: look Obama is a snob who
looks down his nose at uneducated
white people
Gregory: you voted for No Child Left Behind
and yelled at the debate audience
Santorum: shut up folks!
Gregory: do you often betray your conscience?
Santorum: Romney has no principles at all!
Gregory: we all know that
Santorum: all children should be home schooled!
Gregory: please continue
Santorum: kids should be left in the
woods to fend for themselves!
Gregory: you make unprincipled decisions
all the time apparently
Santorum: name one Fluffy!
Gregory: the steel bailout
Santorum: the Chinese were cheating
at capitalism
Gregory: okay
Santorum: I love what no bailouts did
to the Pennsylvania steel industry
Gregory: you would give manufacturing
a tax break but wouldn’t extend
unemployment benefits
Santorum: that’s different because manufacturers
have to compete internationally but
unemployed people are lazy
Gregory: John F. Kennedy said religious
views are private and politicians should
not impose religion on the
people or government
Santorum: he also said separation of
church and state should be absolute
which is horrible
Gregory: uh huh
Santorum: JFK said religious people should
be banned from the public and that’s not fair
Gregory: he said that?
Santorum: yes which means Kennedy
approved of slavery!
Gregory: I never knew any of this
Santorum: and now Obama wants
to ban religion!
Gregory: the Wall Street Journal says
you are a finger-wagging dolt
Santorum: Fluffy why are you asking me
about my religion?
Gregory: you talk about it all the time Frothy!
Santorum: yes because our nation is
falling apart because we must ban
contraception which leads
to out of wedlock births!
Gregory: you will not win an Oscar
or the Daytona 500
Santorum: the race is perfect because it’s
watching a bunch of white men crash and burn
while making left turns
[ break ]
Gregory: Jan Brewer will you endorse
any candidates?
Brewer: absolutely I am endorsing
Mitt Romney and will work really hard
to get him elected
Gregory: dear god - why?
Brown: he is by far the person who can win
Gregory: very well put
Brewer: I have never been party to
an election like this
Gregory: Jerry you ran for President in 1992
Brown: Go Ron Paul go!
Gregory: you say the GOP is committing
political suicide
Brown: the GOP caused a recession and
started two wars and now they want to
take away women’s rights
Gregory: should we ban college as a
liberal conspiracy?
Brown: I like pipefitters!
Gregory: in 1978 you said and I quote
“I like Mexican-Americans!
Ten-Four good buddy! Groovy!”
Brown: I stand by that statement
Gregory: what about illegal immigrants?
Brown: we need a path to citizenship!
Gregory: Jan you have a law demanding
the papers of brown-looking people
Brewer: Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!
Gregory: just answer the question
Brewer: Mexico is sending its
drug crimes to Flagstaff!
Gregory: sounds scary
Brewer: Mexicans have brought Extortion!
Torture! Kidnapping!
Brown: the dope comes up and
the dough goes down!
Gregory: why would you refuse to
testify on Capitol Hill about immigration?
Brewer: During the Oscars? Not a chance!
Gregory: Obama doesn’t want to
control the border! He wants to send
guns to drug criminals! He ignores murders!
Gregory: gas prices are very high
Brown: We need mass transit! And electric cars!
We must invent a car that runs on hemp!
Gregory: Is California ungovernable?
Brown: it’s still a state of freaks and weirdos!
I love it!
Gregory: thanks governors
Brown: dude!
[ break ]
Gregory: OMG Romney could
lose Michigan!
Todd: Democrats are going to vote
for Rick Santorum
Gregory: ha ha
Schmidt: Santorum is busy excusing his
big government votes and also his
crazy-ass beliefs
Gregory: Kathleen you say voters don’t
want a sanctimonious asshole
Parker: Santorum’s best friends like
him but think he’s fucking crazy
and a little mean
Gregory: he says church and state
should be unified
Ford: I’m conservative but this
guy is a loon
Gregory: oh my
Ford: he won’t apologize for burning
a Koran but how would he feel if
people burned a Bible?
Gregory: can we get anyone else
in the Republican primary?
Todd: look I realize people hate
Romney and Santorum but it’s a
little late now
Gregory: a brokered convention
would be a lot of fun!
Schmidt: Excuse me? The delegates are
all going to be tea party wackos!
Gregory: Independents appear to
dislike Mitt Romney
Ford: I’m an independent and I like him
Gregory: so he’s got one supporter
Ford: hell no I don’t trust that
flip-flopping robot
Gregory: Mitt Romney seem to not be
able to utter sentences like a human
Parker: he’s a dork but think of him as
a doctor who completely lacks a
bedside manner and who also advocates
returning to using leeches
Gregory: Steve you are a character in a
movie played by Woody Harrelson!
Schmidt: he gets Julianne Moore and
I got Sarah Palin
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
***********************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - February 26, 2012
Guests:
Rick Santorum
Gov. Deval Patrick (D-MA)
Gov. Rick Snyder (R-MI)
*************************************
Stephanopoulos: Ricky why are you
suddenly losing?
Santorum: now that I am a front runner
people are learning more about me
Stephanopoulos: that’s not good
Santorum: no it’s not George
Stephanopoulos: you violated your principles
to vote for No Child Left Behind
Santorum: did you know America is the
greatest country in the history of the world?
Stephanopoulos: just answer the question Frothy
Santorum: all children should be
homeschooled!
Stephanopoulos: why did violate
your principles?
Santorum: hey Mittens still supports
No Child Left Behind!
Stephanopoulos: that is a good point
Santorum: at least I have principles to
violate unlike the Massachusetts Cyborg
Stephanopoulos: what team do you play for
Santorum: Team Bottom Up
Stephanopoulos: you and Mittens both
opposed the Auto Bailout
Santorum: the steel industry totally
collapsed devastating an entire region
finally proving
that capitalism works
Stephanopoulos: please explain to me how
Romney is both a Wall Street elitist and a
member of Occupy Wall Street
Santorum: he wants to tax the rich which
is just repulsive
Stephanopoulos: I see
Santorum: he would take away the
government subsidy for charity which
will destroy Americans’ generous impulse
Stephanopoulos: should we ever ever
leave Afghanistan
Santorum: we should not apologize
for burning Korans
Stephanopoulos: why not?
Santorum: because it was inadvertent
Stephanopoulos: what should
Obama have said?
Santorum: he should have said it was a
mistake and it should not have happened
Stephanopoulos: isn’t that an apology?
Santorum: no Obama is weak and timid
like Jimmy Carter and Neville Chamberlain
Stephanopoulos: He’s both Chamberlain
and Hitler
Santorum: exactly!
Stephanopoulos: you say Obama is a terrible
snob to say people should go to college
Santorum: what a liberal bastard!
Stephanopoulos: um what
Santorum: frankly colleges don’t train
people to repair my Mercedes
Stephanopoulos: does Obama want to
indoctrinate our youth?
Santorum: of course - at Penn State
conservatives are singled out and ridiculed
and forced to abandon their religion and
worship trees and Karl Marx
Stephanopoulos: so no good conservative
should ever go to college?
Santorum: Political correctness! Commies
under the bed! Party like it’s 1987!
Stephanopoulos: How did you John F. Kennedy
make you vomit
Santorum: He said he believed in
the separation of church and state
Stephanopoulos: yes he did
Santorum: how disgusting!
Stephanopoulos: JFK said he would ban all
people who believe in god from government
Stephanopoulos: that made you throw up?
Santorum: you bet it did - JFK was in favor
of a law forbidding religious people
from even appearing in public!
Stephanopoulos: I must have missed that
Santorum: Jack Kennedy’s next logical
step was concentration camps for Catholics
Stephanopoulos: what about non-Catholics?
Santorum: let’s fight it out - my god is
bigger than your god
Stephanopoulos: you are going to lose Michigan
and Arizona and the Daytona 500
Santorum: I am nothing if not consistent!
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming Ricky
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: gas prices are really high
Patrick: we making more gas than
ever under Obama!
Snyder: Michigan used to
suck and now we suck a little less
Stephanopoulos: you supported the
auto bailout
Snyder: let’s not dwell on how Barack
Obama saved my state
Stephanopoulos: you supported RomneyCare!
Patrick: yes and it’s been enormously successful
Snyder: people should shop around for
health insurance like Travelocity
Stephanopoulos: so the roaming gnome
would do your heart bypass?
Snyder: exactly!
******************************
Rick Santorum
Gov. Deval Patrick (D-MA)
Gov. Rick Snyder (R-MI)
*************************************
Stephanopoulos: Ricky why are you
suddenly losing?
Santorum: now that I am a front runner
people are learning more about me
Stephanopoulos: that’s not good
Santorum: no it’s not George
Stephanopoulos: you violated your principles
to vote for No Child Left Behind
Santorum: did you know America is the
greatest country in the history of the world?
Stephanopoulos: just answer the question Frothy
Santorum: all children should be
homeschooled!
Stephanopoulos: why did violate
your principles?
Santorum: hey Mittens still supports
No Child Left Behind!
Stephanopoulos: that is a good point
Santorum: at least I have principles to
violate unlike the Massachusetts Cyborg
Stephanopoulos: what team do you play for
Santorum: Team Bottom Up
Stephanopoulos: you and Mittens both
opposed the Auto Bailout
Santorum: the steel industry totally
collapsed devastating an entire region
finally proving
that capitalism works
Stephanopoulos: please explain to me how
Romney is both a Wall Street elitist and a
member of Occupy Wall Street
Santorum: he wants to tax the rich which
is just repulsive
Stephanopoulos: I see
Santorum: he would take away the
government subsidy for charity which
will destroy Americans’ generous impulse
Stephanopoulos: should we ever ever
leave Afghanistan
Santorum: we should not apologize
for burning Korans
Stephanopoulos: why not?
Santorum: because it was inadvertent
Stephanopoulos: what should
Obama have said?
Santorum: he should have said it was a
mistake and it should not have happened
Stephanopoulos: isn’t that an apology?
Santorum: no Obama is weak and timid
like Jimmy Carter and Neville Chamberlain
Stephanopoulos: He’s both Chamberlain
and Hitler
Santorum: exactly!
Stephanopoulos: you say Obama is a terrible
snob to say people should go to college
Santorum: what a liberal bastard!
Stephanopoulos: um what
Santorum: frankly colleges don’t train
people to repair my Mercedes
Stephanopoulos: does Obama want to
indoctrinate our youth?
Santorum: of course - at Penn State
conservatives are singled out and ridiculed
and forced to abandon their religion and
worship trees and Karl Marx
Stephanopoulos: so no good conservative
should ever go to college?
Santorum: Political correctness! Commies
under the bed! Party like it’s 1987!
Stephanopoulos: How did you John F. Kennedy
make you vomit
Santorum: He said he believed in
the separation of church and state
Stephanopoulos: yes he did
Santorum: how disgusting!
Stephanopoulos: JFK said he would ban all
people who believe in god from government
Stephanopoulos: that made you throw up?
Santorum: you bet it did - JFK was in favor
of a law forbidding religious people
from even appearing in public!
Stephanopoulos: I must have missed that
Santorum: Jack Kennedy’s next logical
step was concentration camps for Catholics
Stephanopoulos: what about non-Catholics?
Santorum: let’s fight it out - my god is
bigger than your god
Stephanopoulos: you are going to lose Michigan
and Arizona and the Daytona 500
Santorum: I am nothing if not consistent!
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming Ricky
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: gas prices are really high
Patrick: we making more gas than
ever under Obama!
Snyder: Michigan used to
suck and now we suck a little less
Stephanopoulos: you supported the
auto bailout
Snyder: let’s not dwell on how Barack
Obama saved my state
Stephanopoulos: you supported RomneyCare!
Patrick: yes and it’s been enormously successful
Snyder: people should shop around for
health insurance like Travelocity
Stephanopoulos: so the roaming gnome
would do your heart bypass?
Snyder: exactly!
******************************
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Meet The Press - February 19, 2012
Guests:
Rep. Van Hollen (D-MD):
Rep. Paul Ryan: (R-WI)
Andrea Mitchell
Helene Cooper
Al Hunt
Ed Gillespie
*************************
Gregory: Rick Santorum says Obama
doesn’t care about your quality of life
- he only cares about a non-biblical
phony theology - I love it!
Santorum: Obama is repressing religion
which is a new low in the history of America
Gregory: Paul Ryan isn’t that insane?
Ryan: I deny the very existence
of Rick Santorum
Gregory: I can see that
Ryan: Obama is arrogantly taking away
our right to religious freedom to
deny basic health care to employees
Gregory: do you think Obama has
a phony ideology?
Ryan: um no that’s crazy
Gregory: et tu Paul?
Ryan: Obama has a political philosophy
which violates our founding principles
which is that women should never have sex
Van Hollen: this is simple - the economy
is getting better so the GOP is back to
attacking sex and calling Obama a new
guinea muslim witch doctor from Kenya
Gregory: I love the classics
Van Hollen: it’s a new low even
for Santorum
Gregory: Paul why have an
all-male panel to decide women’s
health issues
Ryan: why not?
Gregory: does the GOP look
hopelessly out of touch?
Ryan: the government is making me pay
for lady-parts birth control which a violation
of my Constitutional rights
Gregory: so you have to pay for the pill
- big deal
Ryan: yes but imagine yourself in
FEMA reeducation camp
Van Hollen: that all-male panel was
fucking hilarious
Gregory: what about gay marriage?
Van Hollen: Obama inherited an economy
in freefall so now the GOP is freaking
out over gay marriage
Ryan: I can on television to talk
about how Obama created Bush’s debt
Gregory: well this isn’t your
show dipshit
Ryan: we should talk about slashing spending
Gregory: what about stimulus spending
Ryan: Obama’s stimulus failed!
Gregory: I see
Ryan: it drives me crazy that Obama
won’t cut even small amounts
that I want cut!
Gregory: calm down Ryan
Ryan: we must cut taxes!
Gregory: shouldn’t we inflict more pain
on people to prove how brave we are?
Van Hollen: No Fluffy!
Gregory: but the people must suffer
Van Hollen: if more people have jobs
and more money they can spend more
and then companies will hire more
people who will have more money
Gregory: Jack Lew says now is not the
time for austerity
Ryan: Obama is increasing spending
which is not leadership!
Gregory: didn’t Reagan, Bush I and
Bush II increase spending?
Ryan: let’s inflict pain now instead
of inflicting pain later
Gregory: indeed why wait?
Ryan: Obama is ducking the challenge
of making the people of America suffer
Gregory: I see
Ryan: the debt will turn America
into Greece
Van Hollen: Paul Ryan is an idiot
Gregory: yes I still like him
Van Hollen: we need to increase spending
by hiring people and building bridges
Gregory: what about gay marriage?
Van Hollen: Von Ryan just wants to put
all the burden on middle income people
and give billions in free money to rich
people and corporations
Van Hollen: the GOP passed a rule
saying tax cuts for the rich don’t have
to be paid for!
Ryan: but everyone loves lower taxes!
Van Hollen: Obama has proposed spending cuts
Ryan: Obama wants to kill old people and soldiers!
Gregory: if Mitt Romney loses Michigan
will you guys drag Chris Christie into the race?
Ryan: I think that would take too much effort
Gregory: thanks for coming guys
[ break ]
Gregory: this is the Year of Birth Control!
Mitchell: this is not going to win suburban
soccer moms who like sex from time to time
Gregory: Democrats says Republicans want
to take us back to the ‘50s
Mitchell: the Eisenhower years were not
all that great for many Americans
Gregory: I mean the 1850s
Gillespie: most Americans agree not paying
for the pill is about religious freedom
Gregory: I see
Gillespie: having a vasectomy is
a mortal sin!
Gregory: is it really
Gillespie: Obama is very arrogant
Hunt: Obama blew it with the bishops
Cooper: Obama is hoping there are more
women voters that old celibate men
Mitchell: When Ricky talks about blue-collar
workers he does well - when he bashes
condoms not so much
Cooper: newsflash - Catholics use birth control!
Gillespie: the government must never
ever tell a church “this is what you must do”
Gregory: do GOP primary voters want
an angry demolition expert to destroy
Washington D.C.?
Hunt: Cyborg Romney must destroy
Rick Santorum!
Gregory: why is Mitt Romney even
Running for President?
Gillespie: he’s driven by a passion that
boring white men should run everything
Romney: I like trees which are just the
right height and lakes which have
two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom
Gregory: what the hell was that?
Mitchell: Mitt loses Michigan and then
Ohio and we will have a contested convention
and then it’s hellloooo Chris Christie!
Gillespie: Super Tuesday is
March 6th - it’s too late to bring
a non-crazy human candidate!
[sobs]
Gregory: no one likes Mitt Romney
Cooper: Obama is trying to make
Romney lose Michigan
Mitchell: Romney can’t wrap this up
until June at the latest
Hunt: I love Jeb Bush but he’s a Bush
and Chris Christie is great but a jerk
and Paul Ryan is smart but a weasel
Gregory: would the GOP really
nominate someone like Rick Santorum?
Gillespie: why not - we’ve tried sane
candidates and lost
Gregory: Michigan’s unemployment went
from 14.3% to 9% and he killed Bin Laden
Cooper: yes but Iran could raise gas prices
Gillespie: Obama single-handedly destroyed
the American economy
Hunt: Obama was born on third base and
thinks he hit a triple
Gregory: of course
Hunt: things are going great in America now
but it’s nothing Obama did
Gillespie: Obama is turning us into
Greece with that high debt
Gregory: I though deficits didn’t matter
Gillespie: well they do now!
Gregory: Anthony Shadid was a
real journalist
Cooper: yes it’s so rare to meet
one these days
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
****************************************
Rep. Van Hollen (D-MD):
Rep. Paul Ryan: (R-WI)
Andrea Mitchell
Helene Cooper
Al Hunt
Ed Gillespie
*************************
Gregory: Rick Santorum says Obama
doesn’t care about your quality of life
- he only cares about a non-biblical
phony theology - I love it!
Santorum: Obama is repressing religion
which is a new low in the history of America
Gregory: Paul Ryan isn’t that insane?
Ryan: I deny the very existence
of Rick Santorum
Gregory: I can see that
Ryan: Obama is arrogantly taking away
our right to religious freedom to
deny basic health care to employees
Gregory: do you think Obama has
a phony ideology?
Ryan: um no that’s crazy
Gregory: et tu Paul?
Ryan: Obama has a political philosophy
which violates our founding principles
which is that women should never have sex
Van Hollen: this is simple - the economy
is getting better so the GOP is back to
attacking sex and calling Obama a new
guinea muslim witch doctor from Kenya
Gregory: I love the classics
Van Hollen: it’s a new low even
for Santorum
Gregory: Paul why have an
all-male panel to decide women’s
health issues
Ryan: why not?
Gregory: does the GOP look
hopelessly out of touch?
Ryan: the government is making me pay
for lady-parts birth control which a violation
of my Constitutional rights
Gregory: so you have to pay for the pill
- big deal
Ryan: yes but imagine yourself in
FEMA reeducation camp
Van Hollen: that all-male panel was
fucking hilarious
Gregory: what about gay marriage?
Van Hollen: Obama inherited an economy
in freefall so now the GOP is freaking
out over gay marriage
Ryan: I can on television to talk
about how Obama created Bush’s debt
Gregory: well this isn’t your
show dipshit
Ryan: we should talk about slashing spending
Gregory: what about stimulus spending
Ryan: Obama’s stimulus failed!
Gregory: I see
Ryan: it drives me crazy that Obama
won’t cut even small amounts
that I want cut!
Gregory: calm down Ryan
Ryan: we must cut taxes!
Gregory: shouldn’t we inflict more pain
on people to prove how brave we are?
Van Hollen: No Fluffy!
Gregory: but the people must suffer
Van Hollen: if more people have jobs
and more money they can spend more
and then companies will hire more
people who will have more money
Gregory: Jack Lew says now is not the
time for austerity
Ryan: Obama is increasing spending
which is not leadership!
Gregory: didn’t Reagan, Bush I and
Bush II increase spending?
Ryan: let’s inflict pain now instead
of inflicting pain later
Gregory: indeed why wait?
Ryan: Obama is ducking the challenge
of making the people of America suffer
Gregory: I see
Ryan: the debt will turn America
into Greece
Van Hollen: Paul Ryan is an idiot
Gregory: yes I still like him
Van Hollen: we need to increase spending
by hiring people and building bridges
Gregory: what about gay marriage?
Van Hollen: Von Ryan just wants to put
all the burden on middle income people
and give billions in free money to rich
people and corporations
Van Hollen: the GOP passed a rule
saying tax cuts for the rich don’t have
to be paid for!
Ryan: but everyone loves lower taxes!
Van Hollen: Obama has proposed spending cuts
Ryan: Obama wants to kill old people and soldiers!
Gregory: if Mitt Romney loses Michigan
will you guys drag Chris Christie into the race?
Ryan: I think that would take too much effort
Gregory: thanks for coming guys
[ break ]
Gregory: this is the Year of Birth Control!
Mitchell: this is not going to win suburban
soccer moms who like sex from time to time
Gregory: Democrats says Republicans want
to take us back to the ‘50s
Mitchell: the Eisenhower years were not
all that great for many Americans
Gregory: I mean the 1850s
Gillespie: most Americans agree not paying
for the pill is about religious freedom
Gregory: I see
Gillespie: having a vasectomy is
a mortal sin!
Gregory: is it really
Gillespie: Obama is very arrogant
Hunt: Obama blew it with the bishops
Cooper: Obama is hoping there are more
women voters that old celibate men
Mitchell: When Ricky talks about blue-collar
workers he does well - when he bashes
condoms not so much
Cooper: newsflash - Catholics use birth control!
Gillespie: the government must never
ever tell a church “this is what you must do”
Gregory: do GOP primary voters want
an angry demolition expert to destroy
Washington D.C.?
Hunt: Cyborg Romney must destroy
Rick Santorum!
Gregory: why is Mitt Romney even
Running for President?
Gillespie: he’s driven by a passion that
boring white men should run everything
Romney: I like trees which are just the
right height and lakes which have
two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom
Gregory: what the hell was that?
Mitchell: Mitt loses Michigan and then
Ohio and we will have a contested convention
and then it’s hellloooo Chris Christie!
Gillespie: Super Tuesday is
March 6th - it’s too late to bring
a non-crazy human candidate!
[sobs]
Gregory: no one likes Mitt Romney
Cooper: Obama is trying to make
Romney lose Michigan
Mitchell: Romney can’t wrap this up
until June at the latest
Hunt: I love Jeb Bush but he’s a Bush
and Chris Christie is great but a jerk
and Paul Ryan is smart but a weasel
Gregory: would the GOP really
nominate someone like Rick Santorum?
Gillespie: why not - we’ve tried sane
candidates and lost
Gregory: Michigan’s unemployment went
from 14.3% to 9% and he killed Bin Laden
Cooper: yes but Iran could raise gas prices
Gillespie: Obama single-handedly destroyed
the American economy
Hunt: Obama was born on third base and
thinks he hit a triple
Gregory: of course
Hunt: things are going great in America now
but it’s nothing Obama did
Gillespie: Obama is turning us into
Greece with that high debt
Gregory: I though deficits didn’t matter
Gillespie: well they do now!
Gregory: Anthony Shadid was a
real journalist
Cooper: yes it’s so rare to meet
one these days
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
****************************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - February 19, 2012
Host: Jake Tapper
Guests:
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Robert Gibbs
George Will
Dee Dee Myers
Clarence Page
Lou Dobbs
****************************
Tapper: Senator you support Mitt Romney
- did he get an Olympic sized bailout?
McCain: I love bailouts as long as they
are for things I like
Tapper: I see
McCain: Rick Santorum voted for money
for zoos which is the gateway drug to
funding larger animal habitats and
then you’re off to federal prison
Tapper: Senator DeWine finally realized
Mitt Romney is a cyborg sent from the
future to destroy the planet
McCain: I was declared unelectable
in 2008 and look what happened
Tapper: you lost
McCain: true
Tapper: has the race gotten so nasty
America will reelect the black guy
named Hussein with a an 8%
unemployment rate?
McCain: that fucking Supreme Court
let a casino operator take over our elections
Tapper: should we negotiate with the Taliban?
McCain: yes but we but the best way to
end this war peacefully is to never end it
Tapper: Mittens says negotiating with
the Taliban is appeasement
McCain: you can never announce a
withdrawal date - you have to sneak out
in the middle of the night and
surprise everyone!
Tapper: should we attack Iran
McCain: I hope we can work together with
the Israelis to bomb the shit out of Iran
Tapper: should we cut off aid to Egypt?
McCain: I love the Muslim Brotherhood!
Tapper: your favorite Sheriff was having
gay sex with an illegal immigrant
McCain: I love that crazy freak
Tapper: Rick Santorum says Obama
doesn’t care about human beings but
worships trees and Galileo
Gibbs: may I observe that Rick Santorum
is fucking crazy
Tapper: Rick says he wasn’t questing
the President’s Christianity - he just said
he has a ‘phony ideology’
Gibbs: this whole campaign has been a
fascinating experiment to see how
low politicians can sink
Tapper: gas prices could go over $4
a gallon by April
Gibbs: that’s not good
Tapper: Rick Santorum says Obama
hates wasteful use of energy
Gibbs: Obama is personally drilling
in the Arctic!
Tapper: that’s good
Gibbs: we’re using less foreign oil than ever!
Tapper: Tom Harkin says by cutting
payroll taxes Obama is killing Social Security
Gibbs: it’s a middle class tax cut -
everyone loves those
Tapper: Obama has not cut the deficit in half!
Gibbs: the recession was really bad
Tapper: will the Democratic party finally
endorse gay marriage?
Gibbs: when Glee has a gay wedding
then it will be in the platform
Tapper: ooh that could be soon
[ break ]
Tapper: Could Mitt Romney lose Michigan?
Will: Santorum won Iowa and Missouri
and Pittsburgh so why not?
Myers: Obama is talking about jobs and
Rick Santorum is yammering about
theology and Romney is babbling about trees
Dobbs: Romney’s message about loving
tall trees is very powerful
Page: the GOP has decide if their core
message is ‘big business rule!’ or
‘Jesus is awesome!’
Tapper: Big Jesus rules
*************************************
Guests:
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Robert Gibbs
George Will
Dee Dee Myers
Clarence Page
Lou Dobbs
****************************
Tapper: Senator you support Mitt Romney
- did he get an Olympic sized bailout?
McCain: I love bailouts as long as they
are for things I like
Tapper: I see
McCain: Rick Santorum voted for money
for zoos which is the gateway drug to
funding larger animal habitats and
then you’re off to federal prison
Tapper: Senator DeWine finally realized
Mitt Romney is a cyborg sent from the
future to destroy the planet
McCain: I was declared unelectable
in 2008 and look what happened
Tapper: you lost
McCain: true
Tapper: has the race gotten so nasty
America will reelect the black guy
named Hussein with a an 8%
unemployment rate?
McCain: that fucking Supreme Court
let a casino operator take over our elections
Tapper: should we negotiate with the Taliban?
McCain: yes but we but the best way to
end this war peacefully is to never end it
Tapper: Mittens says negotiating with
the Taliban is appeasement
McCain: you can never announce a
withdrawal date - you have to sneak out
in the middle of the night and
surprise everyone!
Tapper: should we attack Iran
McCain: I hope we can work together with
the Israelis to bomb the shit out of Iran
Tapper: should we cut off aid to Egypt?
McCain: I love the Muslim Brotherhood!
Tapper: your favorite Sheriff was having
gay sex with an illegal immigrant
McCain: I love that crazy freak
Tapper: Rick Santorum says Obama
doesn’t care about human beings but
worships trees and Galileo
Gibbs: may I observe that Rick Santorum
is fucking crazy
Tapper: Rick says he wasn’t questing
the President’s Christianity - he just said
he has a ‘phony ideology’
Gibbs: this whole campaign has been a
fascinating experiment to see how
low politicians can sink
Tapper: gas prices could go over $4
a gallon by April
Gibbs: that’s not good
Tapper: Rick Santorum says Obama
hates wasteful use of energy
Gibbs: Obama is personally drilling
in the Arctic!
Tapper: that’s good
Gibbs: we’re using less foreign oil than ever!
Tapper: Tom Harkin says by cutting
payroll taxes Obama is killing Social Security
Gibbs: it’s a middle class tax cut -
everyone loves those
Tapper: Obama has not cut the deficit in half!
Gibbs: the recession was really bad
Tapper: will the Democratic party finally
endorse gay marriage?
Gibbs: when Glee has a gay wedding
then it will be in the platform
Tapper: ooh that could be soon
[ break ]
Tapper: Could Mitt Romney lose Michigan?
Will: Santorum won Iowa and Missouri
and Pittsburgh so why not?
Myers: Obama is talking about jobs and
Rick Santorum is yammering about
theology and Romney is babbling about trees
Dobbs: Romney’s message about loving
tall trees is very powerful
Page: the GOP has decide if their core
message is ‘big business rule!’ or
‘Jesus is awesome!’
Tapper: Big Jesus rules
*************************************
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Meet The Press - February 12, 2012
This summary is not available. Please
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This Week With George Stephanopoulos - February 12, 2012
Guests:
Jack Lew (White House Chief of Staff)
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Rick Santorum
*********************
Stephanopoulos: Hi Jack
Lew: Hi
Stephanopoulos: you are not good
enough for Catholic bishops
Lew: um yeah
Stephanopoulos: they say the
government cannot make them
cooperate with a policy they don’t like
Lew: well that’s stupid
Stephanopoulos: contraception is
incredibly expensive
Lew: babies aren’t free either Stephy
Stephanopoulos: no but they are cute
Lew: also women deserve proper health care
Stephanopoulos: won’t paying for the pill
bankrupt insurance companies?
Lew: yeah sure it will George
Stephanopoulos: let’s talk about the
debt which is very high
Lew: the debt is high because of the
George W. Bush Recession®
Stephanopoulos: also the high price
of condoms
Lew: the economy is turning around and
some people think that’s a good thing
Stephanopoulos: not in Washington
Lew: I know that
Stephanopoulos: Paul Ryan says we
should cut taxes and also you guys
are ruining America’s military
Lew: the rich just need to pay their
fair share
Stephanopoulos: will you make
John Boehner cry by not calling him
on the phone?
Lew: they can either raise taxes on the
poor or not - their choice
Stephanopoulos: why not call him
on the phone?
Lew: hey Obama is busy - that guy needs
to stop sniveling and do his job
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Hi Paul
Ryan: if you cut taxes on the poor you
are taking money away from old people
Stephanopoulos: this tax must be paid for
- unlike other tax cuts
Ryan: exactly - it’s so so sad
Stephanopoulos: do you really want to
turn Medicare into a voucher program?
Ryan: under Obamacare 15 bureaucrats
will decide whether you live or die
Stephanopoulos: oh dear
Ryan: under my plan everyone under
age 55 will get screwed in a way they
will greatly enjoy
Stephanopoulos: that’s something to
look forward to
Ryan: we are trying to save Medicare
by destroying it
Stephanopoulos: you hate the pill
Ryan: Obama’s plan is a fig leaf and
Catholics hate those
Stephanopoulos: that’s true
Ryan: Catholic insurers will have to pay
to allow women to have guilt-free sex
which is totally immoral
Stephanopoulos: Congress is less
popular than Nixon when he
committing felonies
Ryan: yes I don’t understand it when
we’ve voted to privatize Medicare
while the Senate isn’t doing anything
Stephanopoulos: it’s a total mystery
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: holy crap Rick
Santorum is the new front runner
Santorum: hidilley-ho neighbor
Stephanopoulos: can you win in Michigan?
Santorum: no but it’s a two-person race now
Stephanopoulos: Mitt says you are a
loser and a liberal
Santorum: he enacted RomneyCare and
supported Cap n’ Trade which is fascist
and therefore liberal
Stephanopoulos: he was to the left
of Ted Kennedy
Santorum: yes and only I lost my Senate
race because I was too conservative
Stephanopoulos: yes but you supported
Amtrak which is essentially Communist
Santorum: I like the minimum wage
but when you index it you might as
well put Joseph Stalin in office
Stephanopoulos: you supported
Sonia Sotomayor
Santorum: true she’s a racist
Latina but she’s also nice person
Stephanopoulos: you say women
shouldn’t be in combat because
men are too emotional
Santorum: my wife is a nurse and a
lawyer and she feels that society looks
down their nose at her for quitting
her careers to raise all of our
non-contraceptive children
Stephanopoulos: so you wrote a whole
book just to whine about that people
weren’t respecting the choices
your wife made?
Santorum: right - society needs to affirm
decisions women make except when
they have sex
Stephanopoulos: can you beat Obama?
Santorum: yes because I’m not an
opportunistic rich idiot like Romney
or a total psychopath like Newt Gingrich
Stephanopoulos: good luck with that Rick
**********************************
Jack Lew (White House Chief of Staff)
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Rick Santorum
*********************
Stephanopoulos: Hi Jack
Lew: Hi
Stephanopoulos: you are not good
enough for Catholic bishops
Lew: um yeah
Stephanopoulos: they say the
government cannot make them
cooperate with a policy they don’t like
Lew: well that’s stupid
Stephanopoulos: contraception is
incredibly expensive
Lew: babies aren’t free either Stephy
Stephanopoulos: no but they are cute
Lew: also women deserve proper health care
Stephanopoulos: won’t paying for the pill
bankrupt insurance companies?
Lew: yeah sure it will George
Stephanopoulos: let’s talk about the
debt which is very high
Lew: the debt is high because of the
George W. Bush Recession®
Stephanopoulos: also the high price
of condoms
Lew: the economy is turning around and
some people think that’s a good thing
Stephanopoulos: not in Washington
Lew: I know that
Stephanopoulos: Paul Ryan says we
should cut taxes and also you guys
are ruining America’s military
Lew: the rich just need to pay their
fair share
Stephanopoulos: will you make
John Boehner cry by not calling him
on the phone?
Lew: they can either raise taxes on the
poor or not - their choice
Stephanopoulos: why not call him
on the phone?
Lew: hey Obama is busy - that guy needs
to stop sniveling and do his job
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Hi Paul
Ryan: if you cut taxes on the poor you
are taking money away from old people
Stephanopoulos: this tax must be paid for
- unlike other tax cuts
Ryan: exactly - it’s so so sad
Stephanopoulos: do you really want to
turn Medicare into a voucher program?
Ryan: under Obamacare 15 bureaucrats
will decide whether you live or die
Stephanopoulos: oh dear
Ryan: under my plan everyone under
age 55 will get screwed in a way they
will greatly enjoy
Stephanopoulos: that’s something to
look forward to
Ryan: we are trying to save Medicare
by destroying it
Stephanopoulos: you hate the pill
Ryan: Obama’s plan is a fig leaf and
Catholics hate those
Stephanopoulos: that’s true
Ryan: Catholic insurers will have to pay
to allow women to have guilt-free sex
which is totally immoral
Stephanopoulos: Congress is less
popular than Nixon when he
committing felonies
Ryan: yes I don’t understand it when
we’ve voted to privatize Medicare
while the Senate isn’t doing anything
Stephanopoulos: it’s a total mystery
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: holy crap Rick
Santorum is the new front runner
Santorum: hidilley-ho neighbor
Stephanopoulos: can you win in Michigan?
Santorum: no but it’s a two-person race now
Stephanopoulos: Mitt says you are a
loser and a liberal
Santorum: he enacted RomneyCare and
supported Cap n’ Trade which is fascist
and therefore liberal
Stephanopoulos: he was to the left
of Ted Kennedy
Santorum: yes and only I lost my Senate
race because I was too conservative
Stephanopoulos: yes but you supported
Amtrak which is essentially Communist
Santorum: I like the minimum wage
but when you index it you might as
well put Joseph Stalin in office
Stephanopoulos: you supported
Sonia Sotomayor
Santorum: true she’s a racist
Latina but she’s also nice person
Stephanopoulos: you say women
shouldn’t be in combat because
men are too emotional
Santorum: my wife is a nurse and a
lawyer and she feels that society looks
down their nose at her for quitting
her careers to raise all of our
non-contraceptive children
Stephanopoulos: so you wrote a whole
book just to whine about that people
weren’t respecting the choices
your wife made?
Santorum: right - society needs to affirm
decisions women make except when
they have sex
Stephanopoulos: can you beat Obama?
Santorum: yes because I’m not an
opportunistic rich idiot like Romney
or a total psychopath like Newt Gingrich
Stephanopoulos: good luck with that Rick
**********************************
Sunday, February 05, 2012
Meet The Press - February 5, 2012
Guests:
Newt Gingrich
Mayor Mike Bloomberg (NYC)
Gov. Deval Patrick (D-MA)
Gov. Mitch Daniels (R-IN)
Representative Xavier Becerra (D-CA)
****************************
Gregory: good morning Newt Gingrich
Gingrich: I have lost 4 out of 5 states and
am very happy where we are
Gregory: you are losing every state and
in every category
Gingrich: I am hoping to do well in Georgia
where I am from
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: the safety net should be a
trampoline made from real tramps!
Gregory: you spend all your time
complaining that Romney is mean
Gingrich: well he is!
Gregory: I see
Gregory: Obama has caused 13% unemployment
Gregory: ah
Gingrich: Obama is timid and should declare
war on Iran
Gregory: can you think of anything you don’t
like about Romney
Gingrich: he’s pro-abortion, pro-taxes,
anti-jobs, and his health care plan kills people
Gregory: wow
Gingrich: I would save Social Security by
getting rid of it
Gregory: oh
Gingrich: I would boldly go where no man
has gone before
Gregory: fantastic
Gingrich: the minimum wage kills black people
Gregory: ok
Gingrich: I will eliminate all taxes on everyone
Gregory: unemployment is dropping
Gingrich: that doesn’t include people who are
so depressed that a black guy is in the
White House they just stopped looking for work
Gregory: what if unemployment keeps dropping?
Gingrich: then we will blame Obama for the debt
and high gas prices
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: also Obama is to blame for all the
changes in the world over the past half century
except the good ones
Gregory: interesting
Gingrich: Obama has declared war on the
Catholic church
Gregory: He's launched drone attacks
on the Vatican?
Gingrich: Obama has seized all church properties
across the land
Gregory: he did?
Gingrich: Obama’s attacks on Orthodox Jews
is a profound moment in American history
Gregory: oh my
Gingrich: true religious liberty means
controlling the government
Gregory: would there be religious freedom
on the moon?
Gingrich: yes for Christians
Gregory: but we are in an age of Austerity
Gregory: fuck you Fluffy
Gingrich: look I only said we need to go to the
moon to pander to some idiots in Florida
Gregory: but you yammer on about big spending
Gingrich: why do you hate America?
Gregory: I don’t hate most Americans
Gingrich: the Chinese are taking over
outer space
Gregory: do you loathe Mitt Romney as
much as it seems?
Gingrich: I refuse to answer such a silly
question about that lying motherfucker
Gregory: you like the Giants but New York
is the capital of media elite!
Gingrich: please allow me to pander to
the voters of Wisconsin
[ break ]
Gregory: unemployment is dramatically dropping
Daniels: Obama has failed to reverse the
job losses from the last Republican Presidency
so we should put another Republican
in the White House
Bloomberg: the economy is getting better
but the deficit is high
Gregory: oh noes!
Bloomberg: we must cut spending
and raise taxes
Gregory: so you’re saying raising taxes on
rich people is a bad idea
Bloomberg: look we’re all in this together and
since everyone benefits let’s not bicker about
who is fabulously rich and who is
struggling to survive
Patrick: we have to invest in America -
and by the way Massachusetts is kicking
job killing Indiana’s ass
Daniels: Barack Obama caused the recession
in 2007 and costs jobs ever since
Gregory: we’ve been adding jobs for
24 straight months
Daniels: lalalalalala I can’t hear you
Bloomberg: regardless of what happened in
the past we must not investigate what
caused the recession
Gregory: ok
Bloomberg: on the other hand all Republicans
do is criticize which is no way to win
a football game
Gregory: Mitch your candidates suck
Daniels: that is true
Gregory: you may be stuck with Mitt Romney
Daniels: oh god [ sobs ]
Gregory: you must be happy Deval
Patrick: these GOP candidates frighten me
Gregory: Mayor you say you oppose
criminals using guns
Bloomberg: hey remember when a
Congresswoman got shot?
Gregory: oh yeah that was so inspiring
Bloomberg: no it was terrible
Gregory: I suppose you could see it that way
Bloomberg: more Americans have been shot
than were killed in World War II
Gregory: should we have a victory parade for
Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans
Bloomberg: the wars aren’t over Greggers
Gregory: maybe not but parades are fun
Gregory: the Super Bowl predicts the election!
Daniels: Fluffy you are a true idiot
[ break ]
Gregory: Romney is killing!
Brooks: the anti-catholic media is ignoring
Obama’s attack on all religious people
Maddow: people generally like birth control
Castellanos: Obama has taken away all
freedom of religion
Becerra: the Catholic church shouldn’t be
running insurance companies without
complying with the law
Brooks: Bureaucratic Greed!
Maddow: this isn’t about religion it’s about
insurance you dumbasses
Gregory: Mitt Romney says he doesn’t care
about the poor and Obama caused job losses
Castellanos: Obama is killing old people
Brooks: the real issue is the high debt
Becerra: yes by all means let’s put the assholes
back in charge!
Castellanos: the GOP cares about your paycheck
Becerra: so pass the payroll tax cut!
Brooks: the America people are yearning for
a simpler tax code
Maddow: policy matters
Brooks: in his entire Presidency Obama has
only proposed digital textbooks
Becerra: that’s stupid
Gregory: what about Newt Gingrich
Castellanos: he carried philandering
megalomaniacs so he’s got that going for him
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
********************************
Newt Gingrich
Mayor Mike Bloomberg (NYC)
Gov. Deval Patrick (D-MA)
Gov. Mitch Daniels (R-IN)
Representative Xavier Becerra (D-CA)
****************************
Gregory: good morning Newt Gingrich
Gingrich: I have lost 4 out of 5 states and
am very happy where we are
Gregory: you are losing every state and
in every category
Gingrich: I am hoping to do well in Georgia
where I am from
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: the safety net should be a
trampoline made from real tramps!
Gregory: you spend all your time
complaining that Romney is mean
Gingrich: well he is!
Gregory: I see
Gregory: Obama has caused 13% unemployment
Gregory: ah
Gingrich: Obama is timid and should declare
war on Iran
Gregory: can you think of anything you don’t
like about Romney
Gingrich: he’s pro-abortion, pro-taxes,
anti-jobs, and his health care plan kills people
Gregory: wow
Gingrich: I would save Social Security by
getting rid of it
Gregory: oh
Gingrich: I would boldly go where no man
has gone before
Gregory: fantastic
Gingrich: the minimum wage kills black people
Gregory: ok
Gingrich: I will eliminate all taxes on everyone
Gregory: unemployment is dropping
Gingrich: that doesn’t include people who are
so depressed that a black guy is in the
White House they just stopped looking for work
Gregory: what if unemployment keeps dropping?
Gingrich: then we will blame Obama for the debt
and high gas prices
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: also Obama is to blame for all the
changes in the world over the past half century
except the good ones
Gregory: interesting
Gingrich: Obama has declared war on the
Catholic church
Gregory: He's launched drone attacks
on the Vatican?
Gingrich: Obama has seized all church properties
across the land
Gregory: he did?
Gingrich: Obama’s attacks on Orthodox Jews
is a profound moment in American history
Gregory: oh my
Gingrich: true religious liberty means
controlling the government
Gregory: would there be religious freedom
on the moon?
Gingrich: yes for Christians
Gregory: but we are in an age of Austerity
Gregory: fuck you Fluffy
Gingrich: look I only said we need to go to the
moon to pander to some idiots in Florida
Gregory: but you yammer on about big spending
Gingrich: why do you hate America?
Gregory: I don’t hate most Americans
Gingrich: the Chinese are taking over
outer space
Gregory: do you loathe Mitt Romney as
much as it seems?
Gingrich: I refuse to answer such a silly
question about that lying motherfucker
Gregory: you like the Giants but New York
is the capital of media elite!
Gingrich: please allow me to pander to
the voters of Wisconsin
[ break ]
Gregory: unemployment is dramatically dropping
Daniels: Obama has failed to reverse the
job losses from the last Republican Presidency
so we should put another Republican
in the White House
Bloomberg: the economy is getting better
but the deficit is high
Gregory: oh noes!
Bloomberg: we must cut spending
and raise taxes
Gregory: so you’re saying raising taxes on
rich people is a bad idea
Bloomberg: look we’re all in this together and
since everyone benefits let’s not bicker about
who is fabulously rich and who is
struggling to survive
Patrick: we have to invest in America -
and by the way Massachusetts is kicking
job killing Indiana’s ass
Daniels: Barack Obama caused the recession
in 2007 and costs jobs ever since
Gregory: we’ve been adding jobs for
24 straight months
Daniels: lalalalalala I can’t hear you
Bloomberg: regardless of what happened in
the past we must not investigate what
caused the recession
Gregory: ok
Bloomberg: on the other hand all Republicans
do is criticize which is no way to win
a football game
Gregory: Mitch your candidates suck
Daniels: that is true
Gregory: you may be stuck with Mitt Romney
Daniels: oh god [ sobs ]
Gregory: you must be happy Deval
Patrick: these GOP candidates frighten me
Gregory: Mayor you say you oppose
criminals using guns
Bloomberg: hey remember when a
Congresswoman got shot?
Gregory: oh yeah that was so inspiring
Bloomberg: no it was terrible
Gregory: I suppose you could see it that way
Bloomberg: more Americans have been shot
than were killed in World War II
Gregory: should we have a victory parade for
Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans
Bloomberg: the wars aren’t over Greggers
Gregory: maybe not but parades are fun
Gregory: the Super Bowl predicts the election!
Daniels: Fluffy you are a true idiot
[ break ]
Gregory: Romney is killing!
Brooks: the anti-catholic media is ignoring
Obama’s attack on all religious people
Maddow: people generally like birth control
Castellanos: Obama has taken away all
freedom of religion
Becerra: the Catholic church shouldn’t be
running insurance companies without
complying with the law
Brooks: Bureaucratic Greed!
Maddow: this isn’t about religion it’s about
insurance you dumbasses
Gregory: Mitt Romney says he doesn’t care
about the poor and Obama caused job losses
Castellanos: Obama is killing old people
Brooks: the real issue is the high debt
Becerra: yes by all means let’s put the assholes
back in charge!
Castellanos: the GOP cares about your paycheck
Becerra: so pass the payroll tax cut!
Brooks: the America people are yearning for
a simpler tax code
Maddow: policy matters
Brooks: in his entire Presidency Obama has
only proposed digital textbooks
Becerra: that’s stupid
Gregory: what about Newt Gingrich
Castellanos: he carried philandering
megalomaniacs so he’s got that going for him
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
********************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - February 5, 2012
Guests:
Rep. Ron Paul
Larry Summers
Glenn Hubbard - Romney advisor
Diane Swonk - Mesirow Financial
Arianna Huffington
Matthew Dowd
Dana Loesch
****************************
Stephanopoulos: good morning Ron Paul
- you did worse in 2012 than in 2008
Paul: dagnabit!
Stephanopoulos: when do you get
your first win?
Paul: Never! Liberty!
Stephanopoulos: Gingrich is trying to
destroy Mitt Romney
Paul: Sound money! Drug war!
Stop the wars!
Stephanopoulos: go on
Paul: no one likes these bastards
Stephanopoulos: what are you
trying to achieve?
Paul: victory!
Stephanopoulos: seriously Congressman
Paul: talking gibberish got me elected
to Congress
Stephanopoulos: that’s amazing
Paul: the young people of America finally
oppose John Maynard Keynes!
Stephanopoulos: do you think you can
get Mitt Romney to change his mind?
Paul: are you kidding? That guy
changes his mind when the sun rises
Stephanopoulos: good point
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: unemployment is down!
The stock market is up!
Romney: Obama caused the recession in
2007 and America is tired of all this job growth!
Stephanopoulos: Larry is this job growth for real?
Summers: well it’s not bad news George
Hubbard: yes it’s good news but let’s not
forget just how very very bad the Bush
recession was
Stephanopoulos: true
Hubbard: therefore we should put Republicans
back in the White House
Stephanopoulos: right
Hubbard: we need to cut taxes and
eliminate regulations
Swonk: Bring back the housing bubble!
Summers: Obama bailed out the GOP and
I’ll be damned if we’re going to give them
another chance wreck it all again
Hubbard: Obama is cheating by adding jobs
Stephanopoulos: should we attack Iran
and double oil prices
Swonk: Washington bickering causes recessions
Stephanopoulos: The GOP debt crisis
hurt the economy
Hubbard: Mitt Romney has heroically
called for lower taxes
Stephanopoulos: how brave
Hubbard: Obama has no economic plan
Stephanopoulos: of course
Summers: how about taxing the rich a tiny bit
Hubbard: Obama created the Republican
debt and unemployment
Swonk: Glenn you are idiot
Summers: grrrrr
Stephanopoulos: Romney has won in
Florida and Nevada
Will: there is an enthusiasm gap for Romney
but then again Gingrich is done for
Loesch: Newt just needs to stop talking
Dowd: they guy with the racist newsletters
is the rational alternative to Mitt Romney!
Huffington: Romney is crazier than Ron Paul
Will: Romney won two states and still had
a horrible week because his ideas are terrible
Dowd: we’re adding jobs and if that continues
there will be no reason to vote for Mitt at all
Loesch: watered owned conservatism
doesn’t work or win - go crazy or go home!
****************************************
Rep. Ron Paul
Larry Summers
Glenn Hubbard - Romney advisor
Diane Swonk - Mesirow Financial
Arianna Huffington
Matthew Dowd
Dana Loesch
****************************
Stephanopoulos: good morning Ron Paul
- you did worse in 2012 than in 2008
Paul: dagnabit!
Stephanopoulos: when do you get
your first win?
Paul: Never! Liberty!
Stephanopoulos: Gingrich is trying to
destroy Mitt Romney
Paul: Sound money! Drug war!
Stop the wars!
Stephanopoulos: go on
Paul: no one likes these bastards
Stephanopoulos: what are you
trying to achieve?
Paul: victory!
Stephanopoulos: seriously Congressman
Paul: talking gibberish got me elected
to Congress
Stephanopoulos: that’s amazing
Paul: the young people of America finally
oppose John Maynard Keynes!
Stephanopoulos: do you think you can
get Mitt Romney to change his mind?
Paul: are you kidding? That guy
changes his mind when the sun rises
Stephanopoulos: good point
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: unemployment is down!
The stock market is up!
Romney: Obama caused the recession in
2007 and America is tired of all this job growth!
Stephanopoulos: Larry is this job growth for real?
Summers: well it’s not bad news George
Hubbard: yes it’s good news but let’s not
forget just how very very bad the Bush
recession was
Stephanopoulos: true
Hubbard: therefore we should put Republicans
back in the White House
Stephanopoulos: right
Hubbard: we need to cut taxes and
eliminate regulations
Swonk: Bring back the housing bubble!
Summers: Obama bailed out the GOP and
I’ll be damned if we’re going to give them
another chance wreck it all again
Hubbard: Obama is cheating by adding jobs
Stephanopoulos: should we attack Iran
and double oil prices
Swonk: Washington bickering causes recessions
Stephanopoulos: The GOP debt crisis
hurt the economy
Hubbard: Mitt Romney has heroically
called for lower taxes
Stephanopoulos: how brave
Hubbard: Obama has no economic plan
Stephanopoulos: of course
Summers: how about taxing the rich a tiny bit
Hubbard: Obama created the Republican
debt and unemployment
Swonk: Glenn you are idiot
Summers: grrrrr
Stephanopoulos: Romney has won in
Florida and Nevada
Will: there is an enthusiasm gap for Romney
but then again Gingrich is done for
Loesch: Newt just needs to stop talking
Dowd: they guy with the racist newsletters
is the rational alternative to Mitt Romney!
Huffington: Romney is crazier than Ron Paul
Will: Romney won two states and still had
a horrible week because his ideas are terrible
Dowd: we’re adding jobs and if that continues
there will be no reason to vote for Mitt at all
Loesch: watered owned conservatism
doesn’t work or win - go crazy or go home!
****************************************
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Meet the Press - January 29, 2012
Guests:
Sen. John McCain
Fred Thompson
David Axelrod
Joe Scarborough
Doris Kearns Goodwin
*********************************
Gregory: so Florida is voting in a few days
Todd: Romney leads Gingrich in every
category except “too crazy to be
our nominee”
Gregory: greetings gentlemen
McCain: hi Fluffy
Thompson: whuh?
Gregory: hey Newt is losing Florida
McCain: yes I noticed
Thompson: yes but Newt won in South
Carolina except for smart people
Gregory: the Establishment is terrified
of Newt as the GOP nominee
Thompson: that’s only because people
who know him hate his guts
Gregory: I see
Thompson: Newt passed welfare reform
then he went insane
McCain: Newt shut down the government
- also he’s corrupt
Gregory: he is?
McCain: ever heard of the K Street Project Fluffy?
Gregory: no
McCain: he called Ronald Reagan a failure!
Apostate!
Thompson: haarrruumph
McCain: Citizens United was an outrage and
Gingrich is being funded by
a Chinese casino operator
Thompson: Mitt Romney is rich which
is very bad!
McCain: Fred you washed up
Hollywood jackass
Thompson: George Soros spends money!
Gregory: good point grandpa
Thompson: in an alternate universe Gingrich
successfully impeached Bill Clinton
Gregory: is that why you have the beard -
are you Evil Fred Thomson?
McCain: oh my god Fred you are insane
Thompson: Romney is mean nasty and
did I say mean
Gregory: when did Republicans become
such crybabies?
Thompson: whaaaa!
Gregory: here’s a hankie Fred
Thompson: Being nasty is no way
to win an election!
[ sobs ]
Gregory: Sarah Palin is worried about a
split in the party
McCain: who is this Sarah Palin person
you speak of?
Gregory: heh
McCain: Did I mention Mitt Romney has
never had extra martial affairs
Gregory: but you attacked Romney in 2008
McCain: Gingrich can’t whine his way to victory
Thompson: this is the most important time in
our history - the economy has stopped!
Gregory: actually the economy is growing
Thompson: maybe so but this is the
Obama Recession
Gregory: ok
Thompson: we don’t need a bean counter!
We need a 51st state on the moon!
Gregory: Obama intimidated the
Governor of Arizona
McCain: 40,000 people have been killed in
a country that is not America!
Gregory: wow
Gregory: this is your 61st appearance on
Meet The Press
McCain: What do I get when I hit 100?
Gregory: a pair of gold rabbit ears
McCain: how appropriate Fluffy
[ break ]
Gregory: David Brooks says Obama isn’t
thinking big enough
Axelrod: Obama wants to revive manufacturing
and community colleges
Gregory: I demand Americans sacrifice!
Axelrod: ok how about raising taxes on millionaires
Gregory: the reality of the situation with
entitlements is dire!
Axelrod: so you say Greggers
Gregory: President Alan Simpson says we
must cut social security!
Axelrod: you’re a moron
Gregory: Obama says this election is
about fairness
Axelrod: that sounds good to me
Gregory: but didn’t Romney play
by the rules?
Axelrod: yes you are allowed to hide
your money in Swiss bank accounts but
that doesn't make it right
Gregory: you must raise taxes on
the middle class
Axelrod: you seem insistent on this point
Gregory: you must cut entitlements!
Axelrod: the rich have done spectacularly
well you know Fluffy
Gregory: isn’t Bain Capital wonderful
Axelrod: Romney bankrupts companies
and then loots them
Gregory: but shareholders made a
lot of money
Axelrod: he kills jobs!
Gregory: so does Obama
Axelrod: no George Bush lost millions of
jobs and Romney wants to return to his policies
Gregory: you attack investors but Obama
invested in General Motors
Axelrod: but we didn’t loot the company -
we built an industry
Gregory: it’s still the same
Axelrod: well then why did Romney oppose
the auto bailout!?
Gregory: will the GOP fight continue?
Axelrod: well Romney has the money and
Newt is crazy but then again Mitt
is a liar and weirdo
Gregory: Does Obama hate politics?
Axelrod: no he likes it which proves
he’s not normal
Gregory: why should people vote for Obama?
Axelrod: because we’re adding jobs and the
other guys are out of their fucking minds
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: Hi panel! So Newt was doing so
well - what went wrong?
Scarborough: Florida is big state - it
takes money and organization and
popularity - three things Gingrich
doesn’t have
Todd: Team Romney carpet-bombed
the state with cash and coupons
for early bird dinners
Goodwin: it’s like Custer’s Last Stand
except Romney is a very rich Indian
Scarborough: Establishment v Tea Party!
It’s so on right now!!
Goodwin: I’m starting to wonder if Newt
is actually insane
Gregory: George Washington was just like
Romney because he was very rich too
Good: yes but FDR had polio and JFK was
in WWII and Mitt spent Vietnam in Paris
Todd: not every American has a Swiss
bank account
Gregory: most of the best people do
Scarborough: that is true
Gregory: Joe you warned that Gingrich is like
a cockroach or Cher
Scarborough: yes they are scary and
you don’t want them around and you think
you got rid of them and there they are
Gregory: will Newt ever go away?
Scarborough: He could win Georgia,
Oklahoma, Tennessee and the Moon
Gregory: Newt is still leading in nation polls
Todd: but Romney is going to win Michigan
- people love him there and since they
are unemployed will plenty of time to vote
Gregory: Obama is laughing his ass off
Goodwin: Obama talked about fairness
and people like that
Gregory: Obama is not demanding
enough sacrifice is he?
Scarborough: it was a great campaign
speech which is very depressing because
no one is willing to demand that
poor people give up even more
Gregory: Obama is cheating by being popular
Scar: it’s so so sad
Gregory: Beet sugar fields on the Moon!
Goodwin: so awesome
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
***************************************
Sen. John McCain
Fred Thompson
David Axelrod
Joe Scarborough
Doris Kearns Goodwin
*********************************
Gregory: so Florida is voting in a few days
Todd: Romney leads Gingrich in every
category except “too crazy to be
our nominee”
Gregory: greetings gentlemen
McCain: hi Fluffy
Thompson: whuh?
Gregory: hey Newt is losing Florida
McCain: yes I noticed
Thompson: yes but Newt won in South
Carolina except for smart people
Gregory: the Establishment is terrified
of Newt as the GOP nominee
Thompson: that’s only because people
who know him hate his guts
Gregory: I see
Thompson: Newt passed welfare reform
then he went insane
McCain: Newt shut down the government
- also he’s corrupt
Gregory: he is?
McCain: ever heard of the K Street Project Fluffy?
Gregory: no
McCain: he called Ronald Reagan a failure!
Apostate!
Thompson: haarrruumph
McCain: Citizens United was an outrage and
Gingrich is being funded by
a Chinese casino operator
Thompson: Mitt Romney is rich which
is very bad!
McCain: Fred you washed up
Hollywood jackass
Thompson: George Soros spends money!
Gregory: good point grandpa
Thompson: in an alternate universe Gingrich
successfully impeached Bill Clinton
Gregory: is that why you have the beard -
are you Evil Fred Thomson?
McCain: oh my god Fred you are insane
Thompson: Romney is mean nasty and
did I say mean
Gregory: when did Republicans become
such crybabies?
Thompson: whaaaa!
Gregory: here’s a hankie Fred
Thompson: Being nasty is no way
to win an election!
[ sobs ]
Gregory: Sarah Palin is worried about a
split in the party
McCain: who is this Sarah Palin person
you speak of?
Gregory: heh
McCain: Did I mention Mitt Romney has
never had extra martial affairs
Gregory: but you attacked Romney in 2008
McCain: Gingrich can’t whine his way to victory
Thompson: this is the most important time in
our history - the economy has stopped!
Gregory: actually the economy is growing
Thompson: maybe so but this is the
Obama Recession
Gregory: ok
Thompson: we don’t need a bean counter!
We need a 51st state on the moon!
Gregory: Obama intimidated the
Governor of Arizona
McCain: 40,000 people have been killed in
a country that is not America!
Gregory: wow
Gregory: this is your 61st appearance on
Meet The Press
McCain: What do I get when I hit 100?
Gregory: a pair of gold rabbit ears
McCain: how appropriate Fluffy
[ break ]
Gregory: David Brooks says Obama isn’t
thinking big enough
Axelrod: Obama wants to revive manufacturing
and community colleges
Gregory: I demand Americans sacrifice!
Axelrod: ok how about raising taxes on millionaires
Gregory: the reality of the situation with
entitlements is dire!
Axelrod: so you say Greggers
Gregory: President Alan Simpson says we
must cut social security!
Axelrod: you’re a moron
Gregory: Obama says this election is
about fairness
Axelrod: that sounds good to me
Gregory: but didn’t Romney play
by the rules?
Axelrod: yes you are allowed to hide
your money in Swiss bank accounts but
that doesn't make it right
Gregory: you must raise taxes on
the middle class
Axelrod: you seem insistent on this point
Gregory: you must cut entitlements!
Axelrod: the rich have done spectacularly
well you know Fluffy
Gregory: isn’t Bain Capital wonderful
Axelrod: Romney bankrupts companies
and then loots them
Gregory: but shareholders made a
lot of money
Axelrod: he kills jobs!
Gregory: so does Obama
Axelrod: no George Bush lost millions of
jobs and Romney wants to return to his policies
Gregory: you attack investors but Obama
invested in General Motors
Axelrod: but we didn’t loot the company -
we built an industry
Gregory: it’s still the same
Axelrod: well then why did Romney oppose
the auto bailout!?
Gregory: will the GOP fight continue?
Axelrod: well Romney has the money and
Newt is crazy but then again Mitt
is a liar and weirdo
Gregory: Does Obama hate politics?
Axelrod: no he likes it which proves
he’s not normal
Gregory: why should people vote for Obama?
Axelrod: because we’re adding jobs and the
other guys are out of their fucking minds
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: Hi panel! So Newt was doing so
well - what went wrong?
Scarborough: Florida is big state - it
takes money and organization and
popularity - three things Gingrich
doesn’t have
Todd: Team Romney carpet-bombed
the state with cash and coupons
for early bird dinners
Goodwin: it’s like Custer’s Last Stand
except Romney is a very rich Indian
Scarborough: Establishment v Tea Party!
It’s so on right now!!
Goodwin: I’m starting to wonder if Newt
is actually insane
Gregory: George Washington was just like
Romney because he was very rich too
Good: yes but FDR had polio and JFK was
in WWII and Mitt spent Vietnam in Paris
Todd: not every American has a Swiss
bank account
Gregory: most of the best people do
Scarborough: that is true
Gregory: Joe you warned that Gingrich is like
a cockroach or Cher
Scarborough: yes they are scary and
you don’t want them around and you think
you got rid of them and there they are
Gregory: will Newt ever go away?
Scarborough: He could win Georgia,
Oklahoma, Tennessee and the Moon
Gregory: Newt is still leading in nation polls
Todd: but Romney is going to win Michigan
- people love him there and since they
are unemployed will plenty of time to vote
Gregory: Obama is laughing his ass off
Goodwin: Obama talked about fairness
and people like that
Gregory: Obama is not demanding
enough sacrifice is he?
Scarborough: it was a great campaign
speech which is very depressing because
no one is willing to demand that
poor people give up even more
Gregory: Obama is cheating by being popular
Scar: it’s so so sad
Gregory: Beet sugar fields on the Moon!
Goodwin: so awesome
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
***************************************
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