Stephanopoulos: wow could Mitt Romney
finally take this race?
Stephanopoulos: welcome Newt
Stephanopoulos: given no one likes you
how can you possibly win?
Gingrich: hey no one likes Mitt Romney either
Stephanopoulos: what else?
Gingrich: I promise not govern as a Muslim!
Stephanopoulos: you and Rick Santorum
are splitting the wacko vote
Gingrich: I will not allow Ricky to
Stephanopoulos: go on
Gingrich: he favors a minimum wage
much like a communist would
Stephanopoulos: will this long primary
fight hurt the eventual nominee?
Gingrich: hey Obama and Clinton
battled for months and he kicked
Stephanopoulos: good point
Gingrich: Obama is mean and but
I am a sadist!
Stephanopoulos: can you really give
America $2.00 a gallon gas?
Gingrich: yes because if oil was natural
gas it would cost $1.15 a gallon
Gingrich: Obama said publicly he wants
us to be enslaved to Saudi Arabia just
like all of Europe
Stephanopoulos: Rush Limbaugh says
preventive health care is for sluts
Gingrich: you are such an elitist George
Stephanopoulos: I am?
Gingrich: let’s be clear about this -
Obama wants to ban Catholicism
Gingrich: Sandra Fluke should go out
and buy her own damn sexytime pills
Gingrich: Vasectomies are the
work of the Devil!
Stephanopoulos: Was Limbaugh
right to apologize?
Gingrich: Obama apologized to Al-Qaeda!!
Stephanopoulos: so did Generals
on the ground
Gingrich: Obama wants the U.N. to put
American soldiers in jail!
Gingrich: if those damn Afghans don’t
appreciate all we’ve done for them then
we should just fucking leave
Stephanopoulos: Obama told Iran
“I don’t bluff motherfuckers!”
Gingrich: Obama is so cowardly he’s
going to wait for evidence Iran is
getting the bomb instead of attacking first
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: David what if Israel attacks Iran?
Axelrod: Obama goes around the world
killing people - don’t fuck with him!
Stephanopoulos: Karl Rove says Obama
is weak and soft on Israel
Axelrod: Ask Osama bin Laden how
weak Obama is
Stephanopoulos: should Obama have
apologized for the Koran burning?
Axelrod: his the Commander in Chief
and is trying to save lives
Stephanopoulos: Obama wants
higher gas prices!
Axelrod: no he doesn’t but the President
doesn’t control the worldwide
free market in gas
Stephanopoulos: that’s no excuse
Axelrod: well it’s the truth
Stephanopoulos: Aren’t Rush Limbaugh
and President Obama equally to blame
for calling a student a slut?
Axelrod: every single woman in America
needs true comprehensive health insurance
Stephanopoulos: you’re no fun at all
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: I’m feeling Romneyentropy!
Will: the question is not can he win but
what the fuck is wrong with him
Dowd: If Santorum doesn’t win Ohio he
will have to go back crying about women
having sex on K Street
Dean: Watching this primary I haven’t
been this freaked out since I took the
brown acid at Woodstock
Noonan: The Republican candidates this time
are bloody insane but we gotta mellow out
[ sips martini ]
Dowd: we knew Mitt Romney would
have trouble getting conservatives but
we didn’t know he was such a dumbass
but no one can take
the nomination either
Dowd: because they are idiots!
Will: face we’re screwed
Noonan: who cares about the stupid
[ twizzles drink ]
Brazile: you’re funny Peggy
Dean: Obama will defeat the Army
of northern Virginia!