Sunday, March 18, 2012

This Week With George Stephanopoulos - March 18, 2012

Jonathan Karl
Rick Santorum
Gov. Haley Barbour
David Ignatius
Bill Burton
Nia-Malika Henderson
Karl: wow no one likes Mitt Romney
yet he keeps winning delegates!

Audience: you go Mitt

Karl: Rick will you take your hopeless
fight all the way to the convention?

Santorum: I will fight and climb and
scratch and claw until I completely wreck
the party’s chances in the fall

Karl: you’re not concerned about
hurting the GOP?

Santorum: nominating a flip-flopping
cyborg is not going to save the party buddy

Karl: maybe not

Santorum: My losing to Romney is
a good rehearsal so I can
lose to Obama

Karl: there’s no difference between
Obama and Mitt?

Santorum: mandates!

Karl: what else Frothy?

Santorum: Obama bailed out
Wall Street

Karl: that isn’t true

Santorum: Porn!

Karl: speaking of that would you
like to have a head-to-head
one-on-one with Mitt?

Santorum: Mitt even said
“I love man dates!”

Karl: he did?

Santorum: I would love to have a
one-on-one with Romney!

Karl: we can do it right here
on this desk

Santorum: Mitt Romney personally
performed abortions!

Karl: do you think Puerto Ricans
should be forced to speak English?

Santorum: yes just like we made
Oklahomans speak English instead
of Oklahoman!

Karl: we did that?

Santorum: Mitt Romney pandered
to those gauchos!

Karl: should we finally leave Afghanistan?

Santorum: Obama should never have
hinted we might leave - we should tell
everyone we will never ever leave
and then leave

Karl: sounds like a plan

Santorum: we should either leave or
kill everyone in Afghanistan

Karl: what would you do?

Santorum: I would totally win

Karl: how would you do that?

Santorum: by pulling out our troops

Karl: I’m confused

Santorum: I would consult with people
to do what is necessary to accomplish
what should happen

Karl: got it

Karl: Mitt Romney says you are
an economic lightweight

Santorum: People know how much I
care about little people - I demonstrate
it by working in the coal mines of K Street

Karl: I see

Santorum: conservatives don’t create jobs

Karl: I see

Santorum: we don’t need a manager
in Washington - we need a plan to cut
taxes and also not raise taxes

Karl: you on a crusade against porn

Santorum: damn right - I hate all
those sexytime magazines

Karl: what would you do about it?

Santorum: I would issue an Executive Order
to get the Kardashians off television

Karl: you supported Arlen Specter and
he’s a big abortion supporting guy

Santorum: the little fetuses had to
take one for the team

Karl: will you go after Romney for
putting a dog on the roof of his car?

Santorum: that robot has no
human feelings!

Karl: will there be a brokered convention?

Will: Newt Gingrich wants to be another
Warren Harding and he could do it

Henderson: Newt is both Rick’s
wingman and his worst nightmare

Barbour: a brokered convention is
not all bad - the GOP had one in 1976

Karl: you lost in 1976

Barbour: that dang Carter had
some mad political skills

Ignatius: Rick Santorum could be
a great nominee

Burton: Romney could be our first
non-human candidate

Karl: but the 2008 Democratic primary
went on forever

Burton: yes but Clinton and Obama
were great candidates and Frothy
and Mitt are idiots

Barbour: no one likes Obama!

Burton: keep telling yourself that Foghorn

Karl: thanks for coming

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