Sunday, February 26, 2012

This Week With George Stephanopoulos - February 26, 2012

Rick Santorum
Gov. Deval Patrick (D-MA)
Gov. Rick Snyder (R-MI)

Stephanopoulos: Ricky why are you
suddenly losing?

Santorum: now that I am a front runner
people are learning more about me

Stephanopoulos: that’s not good

Santorum: no it’s not George

Stephanopoulos: you violated your principles
to vote for No Child Left Behind

Santorum: did you know America is the
greatest country in the history of the world?

Stephanopoulos: just answer the question Frothy

Santorum: all children should be

Stephanopoulos: why did violate
your principles?

Santorum: hey Mittens still supports
No Child Left Behind!

Stephanopoulos: that is a good point

Santorum: at least I have principles to
violate unlike the Massachusetts Cyborg

Stephanopoulos: what team do you play for

Santorum: Team Bottom Up

Stephanopoulos: you and Mittens both
opposed the Auto Bailout

Santorum: the steel industry totally
collapsed devastating an entire region
finally proving
that capitalism works

Stephanopoulos: please explain to me how
Romney is both a Wall Street elitist and a
member of Occupy Wall Street

Santorum: he wants to tax the rich which
is just repulsive

Stephanopoulos: I see

Santorum: he would take away the
government subsidy for charity which
will destroy Americans’ generous impulse

Stephanopoulos: should we ever ever
leave Afghanistan

Santorum: we should not apologize
for burning Korans

Stephanopoulos: why not?

Santorum: because it was inadvertent

Stephanopoulos: what should
Obama have said?

Santorum: he should have said it was a
mistake and it should not have happened

Stephanopoulos: isn’t that an apology?

Santorum: no Obama is weak and timid
like Jimmy Carter and Neville Chamberlain

Stephanopoulos: He’s both Chamberlain
and Hitler

Santorum: exactly!

Stephanopoulos: you say Obama is a terrible
snob to say people should go to college

Santorum: what a liberal bastard!

Stephanopoulos: um what

Santorum: frankly colleges don’t train
people to repair my Mercedes

Stephanopoulos: does Obama want to
indoctrinate our youth?

Santorum: of course - at Penn State
conservatives are singled out and ridiculed
and forced to abandon their religion and
worship trees and Karl Marx

Stephanopoulos: so no good conservative
should ever go to college?

Santorum: Political correctness! Commies
under the bed! Party like it’s 1987!

Stephanopoulos: How did you John F. Kennedy
make you vomit

Santorum: He said he believed in
the separation of church and state

Stephanopoulos: yes he did

Santorum: how disgusting!

Stephanopoulos: JFK said he would ban all
people who believe in god from government

Stephanopoulos: that made you throw up?

Santorum: you bet it did - JFK was in favor
of a law forbidding religious people
from even appearing in public!

Stephanopoulos: I must have missed that

Santorum: Jack Kennedy’s next logical
step was concentration camps for Catholics

Stephanopoulos: what about non-Catholics?

Santorum: let’s fight it out - my god is
bigger than your god

Stephanopoulos: you are going to lose Michigan
and Arizona and the Daytona 500

Santorum: I am nothing if not consistent!

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming Ricky

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: gas prices are really high

Patrick: we making more gas than
ever under Obama!

Snyder: Michigan used to
suck and now we suck a little less

Stephanopoulos: you supported the
auto bailout

Snyder: let’s not dwell on how Barack
Obama saved my state

Stephanopoulos: you supported RomneyCare!

Patrick: yes and it’s been enormously successful

Snyder: people should shop around for
health insurance like Travelocity

Stephanopoulos: so the roaming gnome
would do your heart bypass?

Snyder: exactly!

1 comment:

Sandy Underpants said...

thank-you some more also too and as well. gosh I miss Sarah.