Sunday, February 19, 2012

Meet The Press - February 19, 2012

Rep. Van Hollen (D-MD):
Rep. Paul Ryan: (R-WI)
Andrea Mitchell
Helene Cooper
Al Hunt
Ed Gillespie

Gregory: Rick Santorum says Obama
doesn’t care about your quality of life
- he only cares about a non-biblical
phony theology - I love it!

Santorum: Obama is repressing religion
which is a new low in the history of America

Gregory: Paul Ryan isn’t that insane?

Ryan: I deny the very existence
of Rick Santorum

Gregory: I can see that

Ryan: Obama is arrogantly taking away
our right to religious freedom to
deny basic health care to employees

Gregory: do you think Obama has
a phony ideology?

Ryan: um no that’s crazy

Gregory: et tu Paul?

Ryan: Obama has a political philosophy
which violates our founding principles
which is that women should never have sex

Van Hollen: this is simple - the economy
is getting better so the GOP is back to
attacking sex and calling Obama a new
guinea muslim witch doctor from Kenya

Gregory: I love the classics

Van Hollen: it’s a new low even
for Santorum

Gregory: Paul why have an
all-male panel to decide women’s
health issues

Ryan: why not?

Gregory: does the GOP look
hopelessly out of touch?

Ryan: the government is making me pay
for lady-parts birth control which a violation
of my Constitutional rights

Gregory: so you have to pay for the pill
- big deal

Ryan: yes but imagine yourself in
FEMA reeducation camp

Van Hollen: that all-male panel was
fucking hilarious

Gregory: what about gay marriage?

Van Hollen: Obama inherited an economy
in freefall so now the GOP is freaking
out over gay marriage

Ryan: I can on television to talk
about how Obama created Bush’s debt

Gregory: well this isn’t your
show dipshit

Ryan: we should talk about slashing spending

Gregory: what about stimulus spending

Ryan: Obama’s stimulus failed!

Gregory: I see

Ryan: it drives me crazy that Obama
won’t cut even small amounts
that I want cut!

Gregory: calm down Ryan

Ryan: we must cut taxes!

Gregory: shouldn’t we inflict more pain
on people to prove how brave we are?

Van Hollen: No Fluffy!

Gregory: but the people must suffer

Van Hollen: if more people have jobs
and more money they can spend more
and then companies will hire more
people who will have more money

Gregory: Jack Lew says now is not the
time for austerity

Ryan: Obama is increasing spending
which is not leadership!

Gregory: didn’t Reagan, Bush I and
Bush II increase spending?

Ryan: let’s inflict pain now instead
of inflicting pain later

Gregory: indeed why wait?

Ryan: Obama is ducking the challenge
of making the people of America suffer

Gregory: I see

Ryan: the debt will turn America
into Greece

Van Hollen: Paul Ryan is an idiot

Gregory: yes I still like him

Van Hollen: we need to increase spending
by hiring people and building bridges

Gregory: what about gay marriage?

Van Hollen: Von Ryan just wants to put
all the burden on middle income people
and give billions in free money to rich
people and corporations

Van Hollen: the GOP passed a rule
saying tax cuts for the rich don’t have
to be paid for!

Ryan: but everyone loves lower taxes!

Van Hollen: Obama has proposed spending cuts

Ryan: Obama wants to kill old people and soldiers!

Gregory: if Mitt Romney loses Michigan
will you guys drag Chris Christie into the race?

Ryan: I think that would take too much effort

Gregory: thanks for coming guys

[ break ]

Gregory: this is the Year of Birth Control!

Mitchell: this is not going to win suburban
soccer moms who like sex from time to time

Gregory: Democrats says Republicans want
to take us back to the ‘50s

Mitchell: the Eisenhower years were not
all that great for many Americans

Gregory: I mean the 1850s

Gillespie: most Americans agree not paying
for the pill is about religious freedom

Gregory: I see

Gillespie: having a vasectomy is
a mortal sin!

Gregory: is it really

Gillespie: Obama is very arrogant

Hunt: Obama blew it with the bishops

Cooper: Obama is hoping there are more
women voters that old celibate men

Mitchell: When Ricky talks about blue-collar
workers he does well - when he bashes
condoms not so much

Cooper: newsflash - Catholics use birth control!

Gillespie: the government must never
ever tell a church “this is what you must do”

Gregory: do GOP primary voters want
an angry demolition expert to destroy
Washington D.C.?

Hunt: Cyborg Romney must destroy
Rick Santorum!

Gregory: why is Mitt Romney even
Running for President?

Gillespie: he’s driven by a passion that
boring white men should run everything

Romney: I like trees which are just the
right height and lakes which have
two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom

Gregory: what the hell was that?

Mitchell: Mitt loses Michigan and then
Ohio and we will have a contested convention
and then it’s hellloooo Chris Christie!

Gillespie: Super Tuesday is
March 6th - it’s too late to bring
a non-crazy human candidate!

Gregory: no one likes Mitt Romney

Cooper: Obama is trying to make
Romney lose Michigan

Mitchell: Romney can’t wrap this up
until June at the latest

Hunt: I love Jeb Bush but he’s a Bush
and Chris Christie is great but a jerk
and Paul Ryan is smart but a weasel

Gregory: would the GOP really
nominate someone like Rick Santorum?

Gillespie: why not - we’ve tried sane
candidates and lost

Gregory: Michigan’s unemployment went
from 14.3% to 9% and he killed Bin Laden

Cooper: yes but Iran could raise gas prices

Gillespie: Obama single-handedly destroyed
the American economy

Hunt: Obama was born on third base and
thinks he hit a triple

Gregory: of course

Hunt: things are going great in America now
but it’s nothing Obama did

Gillespie: Obama is turning us into
Greece with that high debt

Gregory: I though deficits didn’t matter

Gillespie: well they do now!

Gregory: Anthony Shadid was a
real journalist

Cooper: yes it’s so rare to meet
one these days

Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press

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