Guests:
Sec. of State Hillary Clinton
Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA)
Rep-Elect Allen West (R-FL)
Richard Wolffe
Paul Gigot (WSJ)
Robert Draper (NYT)
******************************
Gregory: OMG North Korea is building a nuclear bomb - this makes it difficult for Obama to argue
for arms control!
Gregory: Hillary is the GOP playing politics with
the START treaty?
Clinton: all the world leaders in Lisbon sure think so
Gregory: yeah but they’re all socialists
Clinton: Republicans were in favor of this until
they realized Obama supported it
Gregory: but why does an international treaty have to be with a bunch of foreigners?
Clinton: Reagan said ‘trust but verify’
Gregory: Ronald?
Clinton: Nancy
Gregory: doesn’t Republican intransigence
weaken Obama around the world?
Clinton: I would ask the GOP to please pull their heads out of their asses and pass the damm treaty
Gregory: why are we leaving so quickly in Afghanistan in another four years?
Clinton: no we’re withdrawing - just very very slowly
Gregory: can we please leave some military
bases there?
Clinton: oh of course - we’ll advise them from our massive installations
Gregory: permanent bases?
Clinton: no
Gregory: are you sure
Clinton: ok may be one or two - or five
Gregory: Hillary is it really necessary to grope
every air passenger?
Clinton: let’s not kid ourselves - the terrorists have explosive underwear so naked pictures and crotch grabs are the best ideas we’ve come up with
Gregory: we got a terror conviction this week in civilian court - this proves that civilian courts are bad
Clinton: um what
Gregory: why do foreigners want us to try these evil terrorists in these weird “civilian” courts??
Clinton: Americans want it!
Gregory: these civilian courts frighten and
confuse me
Clinton: they’re called Article III courts - you know, because they’re in the Constitution
Gregory: would we release terrorists if they
were acquitted?
Clinton: no that would be stupid
Gregory: then why bother with civilian courts?
Clinton: wow I heard you were a moron
Gregory: I don’t understand
Clinton: trials in federal court are required by law
Gregory: but those courts can’t guarantee a conviction like military courts do!
Clinton: blimey you’re an idiot
Gregory: Hillary what do you make of the 2010 election results and will you please schedule a
pillow fight with Sarah Palin
Clinton: ha ha - Fluffy I’m trying to pass a nuclear arms treaty - I don’t have to time to comment on some reality tv star and her mother
[ break ]
Gregory: Bobby are the pat-downs excessive?
Jindal: absolutely - these strong measures prove Obama is weak on terror
Gregory: oh
Jindal: look at all the successes Obama had on stopping terror attacks - it prove he’s lucky and
not competent
Gregory: could you elaborate
Jindal: they’re playing defense - not offense!
Gregory: but you just said airport security was excessive!
Jindal: they’re too worried about the rights
of terrorists!
Gregory: Did Bush just get lucky too?
Jindal: no he was brilliant - but we he was also too soft on terror
Gregory: really?
Jindal: Obama wants to offer the terrorists therapy
Gregory: truly you have a fascinating world view
Jindal: there’s more - we should only frisk brown-skinned men!
Gregory: this is great stuff
Jindal: this is a clash of civilizations - they hate our freedoms and our way of life!
Gregory: Was Obama incompetent in responding to the BP oil spill?
Jindal: yes they admitted there was oil in the water and wasted time insisting on life jackets!
Gregory: my god
Jindal: It’s just like Hurricane Katrina
Gregory: you say Obama was too concerned about his image and not fixing the oil spill
Jindal: right!
Gregory: and yet you’re written a whole book about how you were heroic during the crisis and the
White House sucked
Jindal: They relied too much British Petroleum!
Gregory: your big idea was a sand berm and experts say it’s stupid
Jindal: yes - but that’s Obama’s fault too
Gregory: I see
Jindal: Also the sand berms were a success and Obama approved it
Gregory: I see
Jindal: Red tape caused the disaster!
Gregory: Haley Barbour says Obama did a good job with oil spill
Jindal: yes but on the other hand I met with Obama and he provided the resources we asked for
Gregory: Is Obama a one-term President?
Jindal: look we’re in a recession so the American people want us to cut jobs and spending
Gregory: are you running for Vice President?
Jindal: we’ve done worse than me
Gregory: Speaking of that - can Sarah Palin unite
the GOP?
Jindal: [ spit take ]
Gregory: why did you spit?
Jindal: I’m a freaking Rhodes scholar and America loves this quitting dim wit
[ break ]
Gregory: Congressmen what do you think of the airline gropeathon?
West: As a Republican I like all security but I also must bash Obama so I will say they should have marketed the kid-fondling better
Wolffe: jeebus the hypocrisy is amazing
Gigot: with the intrusive searches we risk losing public support for the police state which
would be bad
Gregory: we have to put up with this don’t we!
Draper: George W. Bush loved this
Gregory: Allen are you a libertarian?
West: as libertarians we support war but we’re against pat-downs
Gregory: what does that mean?
West: It means we need racial profiling
Gregory: fascinating
West: we got lucky with terrorism and they will attack us again - so Obama shouldn’t have instituted new tough security procedures
Gregory: will there be any bipartisanship?
Wolffe: I can’t tell where the hell the GOP is on national security
Gregory: Obama has to extend Bush tax cuts but those dirty liberal bloggers won’t let him!
Gigot: yes Obama must move to the right!
West: my district has high unemployment and closed businesses on Man street which means we should cut taxes for the richest 2% of Americans
Gregory: can we please cut Medicaid?
West: damm right!
Wolffe: Republicans will wait until Obama endorses the unpopular positions and then oppose him
Draper: the American people love tax cuts
for the rich
Gigot: the bipartisan solution is to cut taxes for corporations on the one hand and the rich
on the other
Gregory: how is that bipartisan?
Gigot: you saw it from the reaction to the commission’s recommendations - Republicans
liked it and Democrats did not
Gregory: oh I see - you meant the Beltway version of bipartisan
Gigot: right - Democrats agree to give Republicans what they want and Republicans agree to let them
Gregory: Sarah Palin rules our world!
Draper: indeed
Gregory: she says people ignore her stellar 24-months as governor of a state with fewer people than the Bronx
Draper: She’s a policy wonk but wrestling bears doesn’t show it
Gregory: Congressman she endorsed you
West: she has devoted but frankly weird following
Gregory: I see
West: there are wolves out there!
Gregory: don’t tell me about it - I’ve seen ‘Twilight’
Gregory: She’s beer and Romney is wine
Wolffe: true but the powers that be drink Chardonnay not Pabst Blue Ribbon
Audience: If they together it would be
“XX and White Whine”
Gigot: she’s comes across as real
Audience: real stupid
Draper: the Palin circus is not ready to run a national campaign
Gregory: what are their defining characteristics?
Draper: self-pity, mistrust and paranoia
Gregory: How does Obama recover?
Wolffe: don’t underestimate Obama
Gregory: but how?
Wolffe: he could try Hope and Change
Gregory: that’s catchy
Allen West: the GOP win is Pickett’s Charge!
Gregory: Congressman what is your mandate?
West: slash spending and demand Obama’s birth certificate
Gigot: the GOP needs to cut something symbolic
Draper: I can’t wait to see them justify all the pork they’re going to grab
Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press -
happy turkey day
************************
Sunday, November 21, 2010
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - November 21, 2010
Guest:
Admiral Michael Mullen - Chair, Joint Chiefs of Staff
*************************
Amanpour: Hey we’re finally leaving Afghanistan
- in four years
Field reporter: Afghan civilians want Americans
to stay in Afghanistan because they are saving the lives of kids wounded by suicide bombers trying to kill Americans
Audience: of course
Field reporter: but we can’t kill our way out of Afghanistan because fighters can always hide
in Pakistan
Audience: hmmm
Reporter: so we have to teach Afghans how to fight - a concept they are unfamiliar with
Amanpour: Admiral is North Korea a grave threat
to America?
Mullen: Oh yes they are led by a dictator who
is determined to destabilize Asia and fund horrible movies
Amanpour: how could we let Korea get nukes?
Mullen: we tried sanctions but they never had anything to begin with so they didn’t work
Amanpour: so what’s the answer?
Mullen: we need to work with all world’s major powers - China, Russia, Europe and Facebook
Amanpour: fascinating
Mullen: Korea is predictable in it’s unpredictability
Amanpour: that makes sense
Mullen: he blows hot and cold
Amanpour: he’s like a character in a Katy Perry song
Mullen: he kissed a girl
Amanpour: I like it
Mullen: Obama is going to ask the Chinese to rein
in that wacko
Amanpour: Should we be terrified?
Mullen: Definitely
Amanpour: the GOP stopped START
Mullen: I know Christine - it’s crazy
Amanpour: but is it really a good idea - the GOP says it’s a government takeover of nuclear weapons
Mullen: it’s very critical
Amanpour: but wouldn’t this weaken America if we only have 5,000 nuclear weapons
Mullen: true there are fewer inspections but there aren’t as many bombs now
Amanpour: Obama has promised to modernize
our nukes?
Mullen: right - they will not longer use Vista
Amanpour: well that’s sounds good - but why do
we need this agreement which involves a bunch of foreigners
Mullen: hey the Russians allowed us to get bogged down in a quagmire in Afghanistan - we owe them!!
Amanpour: how can we put pressure on Iran and Korea if we don’t ratify START?
Mullen: the Russians are starting to wonder if we’re idiots
Amanpour: We’re going to stay in Afghanistan until 2014 - why the rush?
Mullen: It will be like Iraq - we’re not actually leaving but they will be doing the fighting
Amanpour: that’s nice but Iraq is a freaking paradise compared to Afghanistan
Mullen: the Afghans are learning to fire a gun and should have mastered it by 2012
Amanpour: do really think Afghans can learn
to run Afghanistan in just 4 years?
Mullen: amazingly yes
Amanpour: are you doubling down on killing
the Taliban?
Mullen: we are starting to reverse the losses of
the Bush years
Amanpour: what’s the deal this loon Karzai
Mullen: he’s pissed about the civilians we kill -
but you know the Taliban kill a lot of innocent people too!
Amanpour: Al Qaeda is now issuing white papers, Powerpoint presentations and fourth quarter performance reviews
Mullen: I like it
Amanpour: how about gays in the military
Mullen: they should serve openly because after all lying is dishonorable
Amanpour: Israel has open gays so why not us
Mullen: true but they don’t face an existential threat to their future existence like we do
Amanpour: they are surrounded by enemies
Mullen: I was talking about “Dancing With the Stars”
Amanpour: the Marine commandant is scared of
gay cooties
Mullen: that guy DVRs “Glee” so he’s one to talk
Amanpour: Thanks for coming Admiral
****************************
Admiral Michael Mullen - Chair, Joint Chiefs of Staff
*************************
Amanpour: Hey we’re finally leaving Afghanistan
- in four years
Field reporter: Afghan civilians want Americans
to stay in Afghanistan because they are saving the lives of kids wounded by suicide bombers trying to kill Americans
Audience: of course
Field reporter: but we can’t kill our way out of Afghanistan because fighters can always hide
in Pakistan
Audience: hmmm
Reporter: so we have to teach Afghans how to fight - a concept they are unfamiliar with
Amanpour: Admiral is North Korea a grave threat
to America?
Mullen: Oh yes they are led by a dictator who
is determined to destabilize Asia and fund horrible movies
Amanpour: how could we let Korea get nukes?
Mullen: we tried sanctions but they never had anything to begin with so they didn’t work
Amanpour: so what’s the answer?
Mullen: we need to work with all world’s major powers - China, Russia, Europe and Facebook
Amanpour: fascinating
Mullen: Korea is predictable in it’s unpredictability
Amanpour: that makes sense
Mullen: he blows hot and cold
Amanpour: he’s like a character in a Katy Perry song
Mullen: he kissed a girl
Amanpour: I like it
Mullen: Obama is going to ask the Chinese to rein
in that wacko
Amanpour: Should we be terrified?
Mullen: Definitely
Amanpour: the GOP stopped START
Mullen: I know Christine - it’s crazy
Amanpour: but is it really a good idea - the GOP says it’s a government takeover of nuclear weapons
Mullen: it’s very critical
Amanpour: but wouldn’t this weaken America if we only have 5,000 nuclear weapons
Mullen: true there are fewer inspections but there aren’t as many bombs now
Amanpour: Obama has promised to modernize
our nukes?
Mullen: right - they will not longer use Vista
Amanpour: well that’s sounds good - but why do
we need this agreement which involves a bunch of foreigners
Mullen: hey the Russians allowed us to get bogged down in a quagmire in Afghanistan - we owe them!!
Amanpour: how can we put pressure on Iran and Korea if we don’t ratify START?
Mullen: the Russians are starting to wonder if we’re idiots
Amanpour: We’re going to stay in Afghanistan until 2014 - why the rush?
Mullen: It will be like Iraq - we’re not actually leaving but they will be doing the fighting
Amanpour: that’s nice but Iraq is a freaking paradise compared to Afghanistan
Mullen: the Afghans are learning to fire a gun and should have mastered it by 2012
Amanpour: do really think Afghans can learn
to run Afghanistan in just 4 years?
Mullen: amazingly yes
Amanpour: are you doubling down on killing
the Taliban?
Mullen: we are starting to reverse the losses of
the Bush years
Amanpour: what’s the deal this loon Karzai
Mullen: he’s pissed about the civilians we kill -
but you know the Taliban kill a lot of innocent people too!
Amanpour: Al Qaeda is now issuing white papers, Powerpoint presentations and fourth quarter performance reviews
Mullen: I like it
Amanpour: how about gays in the military
Mullen: they should serve openly because after all lying is dishonorable
Amanpour: Israel has open gays so why not us
Mullen: true but they don’t face an existential threat to their future existence like we do
Amanpour: they are surrounded by enemies
Mullen: I was talking about “Dancing With the Stars”
Amanpour: the Marine commandant is scared of
gay cooties
Mullen: that guy DVRs “Glee” so he’s one to talk
Amanpour: Thanks for coming Admiral
****************************
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Meet the Press - November 14, 2010
Guests:
David Axelrod - White House advisor
Sen. John McCain - (R-AZ)
Alan Greenspan
Harold Ford
Newt Gingrich
Bethany McLean
**************************
Gregory: Dave did Obama achieve anything
touring Asia?
Axelrod: Obama is out there fighting for American jobs Fluffy and he rejected a bad trade deal because it wasn't fucking good enough!
Gregory: what about those Bush tax cuts
for the rich?
Axelrod: We can afford to borrow money to keep the tax cuts for the middle class but we can’t afford to borrow to keep the cuts for the wealthy
Gregory: but the rich have suffered so much
Axelrod: John McCain opposed those cuts
and he was right
Gregory: can I get a compromise right now?
Axelrod: are you negotiating on behalf of the Republicans David?
Gregory: it saves time
Axelrod: I see
Gregory: is Obama open to compromise please??
Axelrod: dear god stop whining Fluffers
Gregory: is the President going to move to the right?
Axelrod: the message from the American people is they want us to act together and give them jobs
Gregory: I still hear you still fighting for liberals - dammit will you just stop and be conservative already!!
Axelrod: ok how about tax cuts for businesses?
Gregory: the Chairmen of the debt commission proposed a lot of pain and spending cuts which
I hope will be very popular
Axelrod: no one wants cuts or higher taxes so this should be a lot of fun
Gregory: Is Obama willing to finally stop all this free money going to the elderly and sick?
Axelrod: the right-wing demagogues this issue
Gregory: [ grinning ]
but you won’t even make any concessions on my tv show!!!
Axelrod: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: so did I
Axelrod: this is a dark cloud over us and we
must make these cuts
Gregory: excellent
Gregory: what about Rahm
Axelrod: he’s fucking crazy
Gregory: are we ever going to make progress in Afghanistan?
Axelrod: we need to train the Afghans to fight and love America which is tricky
[ break ]
Gregory: President McCain what would it take to satisfy you in Afghanistan?
McCain: it’s just a fact that we must never leave that far-away country or terrorists will come here and
cut our heads off
Gregory: but President Karzai doesn’t even
want us there
McCain: he’s paranoid
Gregory: you’re calling him paranoid?
McCain: look the entire Afghan government is corrupt and Pakistan is harboring international terrorists
Gregory: these are arguments for staying there?
McCain: exactly
Gregory: what about gays in the military
McCain: Look we need a study that says gays
are icky
Gregory: fascinating
McCain: we need a thorough and complete study to determine the if gay people cause cooties
Gregory: your wife called you a bigot - what
did you say to her?
McCain: I only communicate with my wife through Twitter
Gregory: doesn’t military honor require not lying
McCain: the head of the marines has validated
my bigotry!
Gregory: but what do you believe personally
about gays?
McCain: look I met a soldier in Kandahar who has
to sleep with all the men under him
Gregory: interesting
McCain: these are petty officers!
Gregory: Indeed they are
Gregory: we have more tape of you on Meet The Press than anyone else
McCain: oh noes
Gregory: you blatantly flip-flopped on tax cuts
on the rich
McCain: look this is a very different time - we now know what an incredible hypocrite I am
Gregory: what about the debt commission?
McCain: the American people have sent the message that they hate spending and want to send all of their money to the richest one-percent
Gregory: President Bush is peeved at you for
not campaigning with him
McCain: I had to do it - Obama was trying to
tie me to Bush
Gregory: yes he tried to link you in the public's mind
McCain: no he found us backstage and tied us up!
Gregory: my god - well that’s it until your 60th appearance
McCain: Ooh I hope I get a toaster
[ break ]
Gregory: Alan where are the jobs?
Greenspan: there are no construction jobs because we already built what we need and businesses are very uncertain about the future which we need to be certain about
Gregory: Newt you’re a failure and widely hated - tell us about world economics
Gingrich: all of this is Obama’s fault because he hate business
Ford: Newt is right that I should have been the
first black President
Gingrich: um what
Ford: we should have a moratorium on regulations and accept all the debt commission recommendations
Gregory: Beth how can American thrive until we inflict more pain on homeowners
McLean: if the government stops involvement in housing there will be another crash
Greenspan: hey old white men are doing great
Gingrich: this debt commission report debate is stupid because we won’t cut social security
Gregory: but don’t we have to have an adult conversation that we must
slash funding for the poor and give money to the rich??
Greenspan: the Congress will pass these recommendations because they must or bond traders will have a sad
McLean: we are headed to a huge crisis
Gregory: I’m just a talk show host but we must raise the retirement age!! [ sobs ]
Ford: Newt Gingrich is a close friend and handsome man - why can’t he lead the Democrats to cut social security ??
Gingrich: this stupid chairmen’s plan is a step backwards because it’s a hurtful proposal from bunch of rich people who won’t be affected by their own recommendations
Gregory: gee that’s what I liked about it
Gregory: [ shows tape of people rioting in Europe ]
look at this horrible social unrest just because poor people see all the benefits going to the rich
Ford: I love the Tea Party because they realize that we must eliminate Social Security for young and poor people
Gregory: Newt does Obama have the guts to slash Medicare?
Gingrich: I fear government workers in Albany
will riot
Gregory: over cuts in salaries?
Gingrich: Lack of parking
Gregory: should we cut the debt by extending tax cuts for the very rich?
Greenspan: yes - also the deficit is a real problem which is why we need to cut entitlements
McLean: those tax cuts sure didn’t provide jobs
Gregory: only 8 million were lost
McLean: We’re running out of time - the bond will take their balls and go home and then we will have no balls!
Gregory: what if the government gets out of the mortgage business?
Greenspan: home prices get lower and we will have to foreclose on 8 million people which will be necessary but exhausting
Gregory: Newtie will you run for President please
Gingrich: yes but first I must create a movement for insanity
Gregory: I’m torn between you and Sarah Palin
Gingrich: true - also there’s heavyweights Huckabee, Romney and Barbour
Gregory: Don’t forget my new best buddy - Bobby Jindal - squee!!!
*************************
David Axelrod - White House advisor
Sen. John McCain - (R-AZ)
Alan Greenspan
Harold Ford
Newt Gingrich
Bethany McLean
**************************
Gregory: Dave did Obama achieve anything
touring Asia?
Axelrod: Obama is out there fighting for American jobs Fluffy and he rejected a bad trade deal because it wasn't fucking good enough!
Gregory: what about those Bush tax cuts
for the rich?
Axelrod: We can afford to borrow money to keep the tax cuts for the middle class but we can’t afford to borrow to keep the cuts for the wealthy
Gregory: but the rich have suffered so much
Axelrod: John McCain opposed those cuts
and he was right
Gregory: can I get a compromise right now?
Axelrod: are you negotiating on behalf of the Republicans David?
Gregory: it saves time
Axelrod: I see
Gregory: is Obama open to compromise please??
Axelrod: dear god stop whining Fluffers
Gregory: is the President going to move to the right?
Axelrod: the message from the American people is they want us to act together and give them jobs
Gregory: I still hear you still fighting for liberals - dammit will you just stop and be conservative already!!
Axelrod: ok how about tax cuts for businesses?
Gregory: the Chairmen of the debt commission proposed a lot of pain and spending cuts which
I hope will be very popular
Axelrod: no one wants cuts or higher taxes so this should be a lot of fun
Gregory: Is Obama willing to finally stop all this free money going to the elderly and sick?
Axelrod: the right-wing demagogues this issue
Gregory: [ grinning ]
but you won’t even make any concessions on my tv show!!!
Axelrod: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: so did I
Axelrod: this is a dark cloud over us and we
must make these cuts
Gregory: excellent
Gregory: what about Rahm
Axelrod: he’s fucking crazy
Gregory: are we ever going to make progress in Afghanistan?
Axelrod: we need to train the Afghans to fight and love America which is tricky
[ break ]
Gregory: President McCain what would it take to satisfy you in Afghanistan?
McCain: it’s just a fact that we must never leave that far-away country or terrorists will come here and
cut our heads off
Gregory: but President Karzai doesn’t even
want us there
McCain: he’s paranoid
Gregory: you’re calling him paranoid?
McCain: look the entire Afghan government is corrupt and Pakistan is harboring international terrorists
Gregory: these are arguments for staying there?
McCain: exactly
Gregory: what about gays in the military
McCain: Look we need a study that says gays
are icky
Gregory: fascinating
McCain: we need a thorough and complete study to determine the if gay people cause cooties
Gregory: your wife called you a bigot - what
did you say to her?
McCain: I only communicate with my wife through Twitter
Gregory: doesn’t military honor require not lying
McCain: the head of the marines has validated
my bigotry!
Gregory: but what do you believe personally
about gays?
McCain: look I met a soldier in Kandahar who has
to sleep with all the men under him
Gregory: interesting
McCain: these are petty officers!
Gregory: Indeed they are
Gregory: we have more tape of you on Meet The Press than anyone else
McCain: oh noes
Gregory: you blatantly flip-flopped on tax cuts
on the rich
McCain: look this is a very different time - we now know what an incredible hypocrite I am
Gregory: what about the debt commission?
McCain: the American people have sent the message that they hate spending and want to send all of their money to the richest one-percent
Gregory: President Bush is peeved at you for
not campaigning with him
McCain: I had to do it - Obama was trying to
tie me to Bush
Gregory: yes he tried to link you in the public's mind
McCain: no he found us backstage and tied us up!
Gregory: my god - well that’s it until your 60th appearance
McCain: Ooh I hope I get a toaster
[ break ]
Gregory: Alan where are the jobs?
Greenspan: there are no construction jobs because we already built what we need and businesses are very uncertain about the future which we need to be certain about
Gregory: Newt you’re a failure and widely hated - tell us about world economics
Gingrich: all of this is Obama’s fault because he hate business
Ford: Newt is right that I should have been the
first black President
Gingrich: um what
Ford: we should have a moratorium on regulations and accept all the debt commission recommendations
Gregory: Beth how can American thrive until we inflict more pain on homeowners
McLean: if the government stops involvement in housing there will be another crash
Greenspan: hey old white men are doing great
Gingrich: this debt commission report debate is stupid because we won’t cut social security
Gregory: but don’t we have to have an adult conversation that we must
slash funding for the poor and give money to the rich??
Greenspan: the Congress will pass these recommendations because they must or bond traders will have a sad
McLean: we are headed to a huge crisis
Gregory: I’m just a talk show host but we must raise the retirement age!! [ sobs ]
Ford: Newt Gingrich is a close friend and handsome man - why can’t he lead the Democrats to cut social security ??
Gingrich: this stupid chairmen’s plan is a step backwards because it’s a hurtful proposal from bunch of rich people who won’t be affected by their own recommendations
Gregory: gee that’s what I liked about it
Gregory: [ shows tape of people rioting in Europe ]
look at this horrible social unrest just because poor people see all the benefits going to the rich
Ford: I love the Tea Party because they realize that we must eliminate Social Security for young and poor people
Gregory: Newt does Obama have the guts to slash Medicare?
Gingrich: I fear government workers in Albany
will riot
Gregory: over cuts in salaries?
Gingrich: Lack of parking
Gregory: should we cut the debt by extending tax cuts for the very rich?
Greenspan: yes - also the deficit is a real problem which is why we need to cut entitlements
McLean: those tax cuts sure didn’t provide jobs
Gregory: only 8 million were lost
McLean: We’re running out of time - the bond will take their balls and go home and then we will have no balls!
Gregory: what if the government gets out of the mortgage business?
Greenspan: home prices get lower and we will have to foreclose on 8 million people which will be necessary but exhausting
Gregory: Newtie will you run for President please
Gingrich: yes but first I must create a movement for insanity
Gregory: I’m torn between you and Sarah Palin
Gingrich: true - also there’s heavyweights Huckabee, Romney and Barbour
Gregory: Don’t forget my new best buddy - Bobby Jindal - squee!!!
*************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - November 14, 2010
Guests:
Sen. Lindsey Graham
Madeline Albright
********************************
Amanpour: [ plays music from The Amazing Race ]
Obama… is… in... a race around the world!!
Tapper: Obama came to Mumbai so he could see where all the American jobs went
[ scenes of Obama dancing ]
Tapper: South Korea won’t dance to America’s
tune and open up to American beef
Obama: that is an irritant!
Tapper: the fed weakened US currency and Germany declared war
Obama: but only to grow the economy!
Amanpour: Madeline why are people criticizing America - we’re so awesome
Albright: that’s the purpose of these summits -
give the little nations a chance to bitch and whine
Amanpour: so it’s like a blogger conference call
Graham: Congress will crack down on those
wily Chinese!
Amanpour: How can America lecture the rest of
the world when we have a terrible debt
Graham: America clearly cannot lead the rest of the world until we cut Medicaid
Amanpour: oh I hope so
Graham: no other nation will trust us until we increase the retirement age
Amanpour: should we cut nuclear weapons?
Albright: yes we should cut them for other nations
Amanpour: Linds can we ratify START?
Graham: yes but first need an incredibly wasteful useless expensive missile defense system
Amanpour: Our puppet President in Afghanistan seems not to love America
Graham: We had a lovely dinner with me and
McCain and Hamid and We Own The Night!!
Amanpour: how nice
Graham: the security raids are going great and we must keep Night Ranger on the table
Amanpour: can we bring troops home in 2011?
Graham: yes but first we must win!!
Amanpour: I get it
Graham: it would be nice to have 2 airbases there permanently - is that too much to ask??
Albright: we should stay there until we train the Afghans properly to love us
Amanpour: how do you do that?
Albright: they’re Afghans - use a Dog Whisperer
Amanpour: or a Native Whisperer
Amanpour: Lindy are you a tea party isolationist?
Graham: I am an internationalist hawk - I believe Sunnis and Shia should marry each other as long
as they’re straight or hide it
Amanpour: that makes sense
Graham: I would like to add that we should attack Iran
Amanpour: but the tea party!!
Graham: they’re idiots - if we don’t invade Iran there will be Sharia law in Oklahoma
Albright: good god
[ break ]
Amanpour: isn’t it terrible that this debt is ruining American foreign policy?
Cote: Oh yes it’s so so sad
Amanpour: people keep yammering on and on about jobs going overseas
Cote: those jackwagons need stop whining
Conrad: we need to shock Americans
Amanpour: through draconian cuts?
Conrad: no I mean actual electroshock
Amanpour: should we eliminate tax deductions and cut taxes for the rich
Conrad: abusive tax shelters are a bit of a problem
Amanpour: Paul Krugman says the latest proposal is just a giveaway to the rich
Cote: this is not a time for arguing about who is getting rich and getting poor - this is a time for agreeing that we should slash tax rates for the very wealthy
Conrad: Social Security will go broke in 2027!
Amanpour: Greenspan says we should weaken
our currency even more
Cote: look I’m just a rich fate white CEO
Amanpour: so you know everything
Cote: Obama prevented a Depression and should get more credit
Amanpour: We have scary troops in South Korea - how could we not get a trade deal?
Conrad: Obama finally said no to them - yeah!
Amanpour: but the Germans were mean to us and frankly they scare me
Conrad: excuse me we did those krauts a little favor in 1945 and they should remember that
Amanpour: what was that?
Conrad: we got the damm French out of their hair
- a little gratitude would be nice
Amanpour: bien sur
****************************
Sen. Lindsey Graham
Madeline Albright
********************************
Amanpour: [ plays music from The Amazing Race ]
Obama… is… in... a race around the world!!
Tapper: Obama came to Mumbai so he could see where all the American jobs went
[ scenes of Obama dancing ]
Tapper: South Korea won’t dance to America’s
tune and open up to American beef
Obama: that is an irritant!
Tapper: the fed weakened US currency and Germany declared war
Obama: but only to grow the economy!
Amanpour: Madeline why are people criticizing America - we’re so awesome
Albright: that’s the purpose of these summits -
give the little nations a chance to bitch and whine
Amanpour: so it’s like a blogger conference call
Graham: Congress will crack down on those
wily Chinese!
Amanpour: How can America lecture the rest of
the world when we have a terrible debt
Graham: America clearly cannot lead the rest of the world until we cut Medicaid
Amanpour: oh I hope so
Graham: no other nation will trust us until we increase the retirement age
Amanpour: should we cut nuclear weapons?
Albright: yes we should cut them for other nations
Amanpour: Linds can we ratify START?
Graham: yes but first need an incredibly wasteful useless expensive missile defense system
Amanpour: Our puppet President in Afghanistan seems not to love America
Graham: We had a lovely dinner with me and
McCain and Hamid and We Own The Night!!
Amanpour: how nice
Graham: the security raids are going great and we must keep Night Ranger on the table
Amanpour: can we bring troops home in 2011?
Graham: yes but first we must win!!
Amanpour: I get it
Graham: it would be nice to have 2 airbases there permanently - is that too much to ask??
Albright: we should stay there until we train the Afghans properly to love us
Amanpour: how do you do that?
Albright: they’re Afghans - use a Dog Whisperer
Amanpour: or a Native Whisperer
Amanpour: Lindy are you a tea party isolationist?
Graham: I am an internationalist hawk - I believe Sunnis and Shia should marry each other as long
as they’re straight or hide it
Amanpour: that makes sense
Graham: I would like to add that we should attack Iran
Amanpour: but the tea party!!
Graham: they’re idiots - if we don’t invade Iran there will be Sharia law in Oklahoma
Albright: good god
[ break ]
Amanpour: isn’t it terrible that this debt is ruining American foreign policy?
Cote: Oh yes it’s so so sad
Amanpour: people keep yammering on and on about jobs going overseas
Cote: those jackwagons need stop whining
Conrad: we need to shock Americans
Amanpour: through draconian cuts?
Conrad: no I mean actual electroshock
Amanpour: should we eliminate tax deductions and cut taxes for the rich
Conrad: abusive tax shelters are a bit of a problem
Amanpour: Paul Krugman says the latest proposal is just a giveaway to the rich
Cote: this is not a time for arguing about who is getting rich and getting poor - this is a time for agreeing that we should slash tax rates for the very wealthy
Conrad: Social Security will go broke in 2027!
Amanpour: Greenspan says we should weaken
our currency even more
Cote: look I’m just a rich fate white CEO
Amanpour: so you know everything
Cote: Obama prevented a Depression and should get more credit
Amanpour: We have scary troops in South Korea - how could we not get a trade deal?
Conrad: Obama finally said no to them - yeah!
Amanpour: but the Germans were mean to us and frankly they scare me
Conrad: excuse me we did those krauts a little favor in 1945 and they should remember that
Amanpour: what was that?
Conrad: we got the damm French out of their hair
- a little gratitude would be nice
Amanpour: bien sur
****************************
Sunday, November 07, 2010
60 Minutes with Barack Obama - Nov. 7, 2010
Kroft: The GOP says the election was a referendum on you and the Democrats
Obama: no it was a referendum on a really sucky economy
Kroft: wasn’t it a rejection of your leadership?
Obama: hey we had to spend a lot of money to fix the Bush economy
Kroft: so you’re a Big Government socialist
Obama: no I just didn’t communicate that we were in an emergency requiring we send a trillion dollars to Wall Street bankers
Kroft: voters want smaller government
Obama: but first they want jobs and growth
Kroft: are you saying people don’t hate government ?
Obama: no I’m sure they do -- so do I
Kroft: why did women and blacks stay home or vote for the GOP which traditionally hate them
Obama: because unemployment rose after I was sworn in
Kroft: The Beltway changed you from a hopeless idealist to a corrupt cynic
Obama: that’s not right - but I was too focused on getting things done
Kroft: the Tea Partiers are you from 2 years ago
Obama: hey accomplishing change is really hard to do
Kroft: oh?
Obama: yeah this town is full of a lot of special interests and some real assholes
Kroft: you've lost you're edge
Obama: this city will crush you soul Steve!
Kroft: how have you been compromised?
Obama: I agreed to outrageous spending to get real reform
Kroft: you mean earmarks
Obama: right - maybe I can work with these lunatics to really change Washington
Kroft: do you have any regrets
Obama: look first I addressed the economy and then I did health care because it was risky but necessary
Kroft: what went wrong
Obama: I thought if we offered a bill introduced by Republicans then they might vote for it
Kroft: oh you are so so naive
Obama: heh dude I know
Kroft: is the recession over?
Obama: technically maybe but not for people who are unemployed
Kroft: like dozens of Democratic politicians
Obama: exactly
Kroft: do you get discouraged?
Obama: every damm day steve-o
Kroft: what can you do
Obama: ask the Republicans to pay for infrastructure which will benefit their constituents
Kroft: but the GOP are not interested in that
Obama: I know
Kroft: what is the deal with the tea party?
Obama: we have a great tradition of rebellion and that’s nice but some people think government is pretty useful
Kroft: interesting
Obama: we shall see if they are tools of corporate interests or not
Kroft: what do you think of the GOP leaders
Obama: we’ve always been cordial
Kroft: but they call you the Kenyan Hitler
Obama: true but I said Boehner was a color not found in nature
Kroft: well that is true
Obama: no I once had an Indonesian apricot that was the same hue
Kroft: Bush signed a law which would automatically raise taxes so are you willing to cut them or not raise them for rich people like me and you
Obama: should we borrow $700 billion from our grandchildren to give really really rich people a tax cut?
Kroft: maybe we could build a time machine and get their permission
Obama: look I like rich people too but we just don’t have the money
Kroft: but the GOP runs Congress now
Obama: where is the money??
Kroft: Boehner says we should cut money for poor people to pay tax cuts for the rich
Obama: yeah that sounds like him
Kroft: we’re not talking about rich people - we’re talking about struggling small business people who make $300,000 a year
Obama: good god
Kroft: you’re anti-business
Obama: no I’m pro-consumer
Kroft: businesses need to know what government will do in the future forever
Obama: that’s crazy
Kroft: I know
Obama: it’s important to write rules to restrain bankers and insurers
Kroft: progressives think you’ve lost you’re mojo
Obama: I was so focused on getting things done I forgot to sell it better
Kroft: are a sell-out?
Obama: liberals need to realize some of this country is conservative and always will be and no amount of magic will change that
Kroft: you’re on television more than the Sham Wow guy
Obama: some people only watch The View
Kroft: oh my
Obama: I’m reaching women with daytime tv, the young people with the Daily Show, and the super-elderly with 60 Minutes
Kroft: what is next for you?
Obama: Michelle and I will be contestants on The Amazing Race
Kroft: what have you learned about yourself and the American people
Obama: I’ve learned that the people are suffering greatly and so am I
Kroft: good luck with that
**********************************
Obama: no it was a referendum on a really sucky economy
Kroft: wasn’t it a rejection of your leadership?
Obama: hey we had to spend a lot of money to fix the Bush economy
Kroft: so you’re a Big Government socialist
Obama: no I just didn’t communicate that we were in an emergency requiring we send a trillion dollars to Wall Street bankers
Kroft: voters want smaller government
Obama: but first they want jobs and growth
Kroft: are you saying people don’t hate government ?
Obama: no I’m sure they do -- so do I
Kroft: why did women and blacks stay home or vote for the GOP which traditionally hate them
Obama: because unemployment rose after I was sworn in
Kroft: The Beltway changed you from a hopeless idealist to a corrupt cynic
Obama: that’s not right - but I was too focused on getting things done
Kroft: the Tea Partiers are you from 2 years ago
Obama: hey accomplishing change is really hard to do
Kroft: oh?
Obama: yeah this town is full of a lot of special interests and some real assholes
Kroft: you've lost you're edge
Obama: this city will crush you soul Steve!
Kroft: how have you been compromised?
Obama: I agreed to outrageous spending to get real reform
Kroft: you mean earmarks
Obama: right - maybe I can work with these lunatics to really change Washington
Kroft: do you have any regrets
Obama: look first I addressed the economy and then I did health care because it was risky but necessary
Kroft: what went wrong
Obama: I thought if we offered a bill introduced by Republicans then they might vote for it
Kroft: oh you are so so naive
Obama: heh dude I know
Kroft: is the recession over?
Obama: technically maybe but not for people who are unemployed
Kroft: like dozens of Democratic politicians
Obama: exactly
Kroft: do you get discouraged?
Obama: every damm day steve-o
Kroft: what can you do
Obama: ask the Republicans to pay for infrastructure which will benefit their constituents
Kroft: but the GOP are not interested in that
Obama: I know
Kroft: what is the deal with the tea party?
Obama: we have a great tradition of rebellion and that’s nice but some people think government is pretty useful
Kroft: interesting
Obama: we shall see if they are tools of corporate interests or not
Kroft: what do you think of the GOP leaders
Obama: we’ve always been cordial
Kroft: but they call you the Kenyan Hitler
Obama: true but I said Boehner was a color not found in nature
Kroft: well that is true
Obama: no I once had an Indonesian apricot that was the same hue
Kroft: Bush signed a law which would automatically raise taxes so are you willing to cut them or not raise them for rich people like me and you
Obama: should we borrow $700 billion from our grandchildren to give really really rich people a tax cut?
Kroft: maybe we could build a time machine and get their permission
Obama: look I like rich people too but we just don’t have the money
Kroft: but the GOP runs Congress now
Obama: where is the money??
Kroft: Boehner says we should cut money for poor people to pay tax cuts for the rich
Obama: yeah that sounds like him
Kroft: we’re not talking about rich people - we’re talking about struggling small business people who make $300,000 a year
Obama: good god
Kroft: you’re anti-business
Obama: no I’m pro-consumer
Kroft: businesses need to know what government will do in the future forever
Obama: that’s crazy
Kroft: I know
Obama: it’s important to write rules to restrain bankers and insurers
Kroft: progressives think you’ve lost you’re mojo
Obama: I was so focused on getting things done I forgot to sell it better
Kroft: are a sell-out?
Obama: liberals need to realize some of this country is conservative and always will be and no amount of magic will change that
Kroft: you’re on television more than the Sham Wow guy
Obama: some people only watch The View
Kroft: oh my
Obama: I’m reaching women with daytime tv, the young people with the Daily Show, and the super-elderly with 60 Minutes
Kroft: what is next for you?
Obama: Michelle and I will be contestants on The Amazing Race
Kroft: what have you learned about yourself and the American people
Obama: I’ve learned that the people are suffering greatly and so am I
Kroft: good luck with that
**********************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - November 7, 2010
This Week
Guests:
Sen-Elect Rand Paul (R-KY)
Mike Pence (R-IN)
Evan Bayh
John Podesta
Mike Dowd
George Will
Amy Walter
********************************
Amanpour: Hi everyone - the Republicans have their biggest majority in the House since the 1940s
Amanpour: today we have prominent tea party loon Rand Paul - what is your big issue?
Paul: the debt
Amanpour: oh?
Paul: indeed - Republicans doubled the debt and Democrats triple the debt it's so so sad
Amanpour: so how will you balance the budget?
Paul: Constitutional amendment
Amanpour: how realistic
Paul: also a rule requiring spending cuts
Amanpour: ok then
Paul: the GOP won’t cut defense and liberals won’t cut health care
Amanpour: would you cut defense
Paul: sure
Amanpour: how about entitlements?
Paul: absolutely
Amanpour: would you raise the retirement age?
Paul: we have too many lazy old people retiring
Amanpour: will you repeal health care reform?
Paul: it’s unconstitutional!
Amanpour: what about raising taxes
Paul: oh no no
Amanpour: but I thought you wanted to cut the debt
Paul: all we have to do is introduce a balanced budget
Amanpour: what is the Tea Party foreign policy?
Paul: a big powerful expensive defense
and lower debt
Amanpour: could you name some specific cuts?
Paul: freeze federal hiring and cut federal salaries
Amanpour: anything more specific?
Paul: there are lots of books about there
Amanpour: oh there are?
Paul: indeed we should stop printing so many - reading is overrated
Amanpour: good idea Rand
Paul: in Kentucky we balance the budget
Amanpour: how do you do that?
Paul: at the end of the year everyone digs in their couches for spare change
Amanpour: will you vote to raise the debt ceiling?
Paul: no
Amanpour: but then the U.S. will default
Paul: luckily no one likes me so my vote won’t matter
Amanpour: so will you have any influence in Congress?
Paul: we’re the Tea Party - we’re loud and proud
Amanpour: can the tea party compromise with Democrats?
Paul: sure - let’s cut defense
Amanpour: but what about all our fun wars?
Paul: I’m patriotic but I’m starting to wonder whether all these wars are all they’re cracked up to be
Amanpour: oh dear
[ break ]
Amanpour: Mike Pence are you running for President and if so are you crazy
Pence: I will consult with my family and the Lord
Amanpour: Rush Limbaugh?
Pence: that’s right
Amanpour: Dave Stockman what is the Big Lie?
Stockman: both parties have both become Free Lunchers
Amanpour: oh noe
Stockman: the debt is out of control
Pence: in this week Americans rejected liberalism and bailouts
Amanpour: but Republicans were behind the bailout
Pence: maybe but that was before - Republicans
are now against all domestic spending
Amanpour: how interesting
Stockman: criminy we put the GOP in charge and they wrecked everything - we need to take on Grannies, the Pentagon, and Scooter Manufacturers
Pence: the Axis of Evil
Stockman: we have a Credit Card Empire
Amanpour: what is that?
Stockman: its like a Boardwalk Empire after you’ve gone into a casino
Pence: we have to cut spending right now that a black Democrat is President
Stockman: we should raise taxes
Pence: no, no, no anything but that
Stockman: we can’t police the world with this deficit
Pence: if we raise taxes the rich will Go Galt and take the job-creating abilities to the Cayman Islands
Stockman: the Chinese are coming to take us over
Amanpour: why is so much American wealth going to the very rich?
Pence: hey those rich people create all the jobs - those people should get down on their knee and be grateful for the crumbs they get
Stockman: what a shithead
Amanpour: what happens now?
Podesta: Republicans have to offer real ideas
Amanpour: will there be compromise?
Podesta: no
Dowd: the voters want action and results
so Congress and the White House will have to work together
Bayh: well that’s easy to say but the good moderates keep getting pushed aside by the bad activists
Dowd: Obama must credibly reach across the aisle - he has the megaphone therefore this is all his fault
Amanpour: what did all 100 million voters say Amy?
Walter: they said ‘we hate moderates - we want polarization!’
Amanpour: really?
Walter: no they were saying ‘we want jobs’
Amanpour: I hear that
Will: liberals are under the delusion that they improved the economy
Podesta: they did
Amanpour: interesting
Podesta: but now that Obama has fixed the economy he must cut the debt
Bayh: voters want bland boring moderates with
no principles
Amanpour: how lucky for you
Bayh: yay me
Amanpour: now that Warren Buffet has embraced liberal ideas are progressive policies dead?
Podesta: Obama must offer Republicans something they want like a a payroll holiday or Fox News
in every home
Dowd: or the GOP could offer spending cuts
Bayh: voters care about one thing: cutting spending and the debt
Amanpour: I didn’t know that
Bayh: look at the UK they’re doing great with their austerity program
Will: the GOP care about the debt but they really care about lower taxes for rich people
Amanpour: are there any women left in politics?
Walter: sure Sarah Palin, Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Bachmann and Nikki Haley
Amanpour: oh my - should the Dems reelect Pelosi
Podesta: yes the GOP are scared of her
Bayh: um what [ staring at self in monitor ]
Guests:
Sen-Elect Rand Paul (R-KY)
Mike Pence (R-IN)
Evan Bayh
John Podesta
Mike Dowd
George Will
Amy Walter
********************************
Amanpour: Hi everyone - the Republicans have their biggest majority in the House since the 1940s
Amanpour: today we have prominent tea party loon Rand Paul - what is your big issue?
Paul: the debt
Amanpour: oh?
Paul: indeed - Republicans doubled the debt and Democrats triple the debt it's so so sad
Amanpour: so how will you balance the budget?
Paul: Constitutional amendment
Amanpour: how realistic
Paul: also a rule requiring spending cuts
Amanpour: ok then
Paul: the GOP won’t cut defense and liberals won’t cut health care
Amanpour: would you cut defense
Paul: sure
Amanpour: how about entitlements?
Paul: absolutely
Amanpour: would you raise the retirement age?
Paul: we have too many lazy old people retiring
Amanpour: will you repeal health care reform?
Paul: it’s unconstitutional!
Amanpour: what about raising taxes
Paul: oh no no
Amanpour: but I thought you wanted to cut the debt
Paul: all we have to do is introduce a balanced budget
Amanpour: what is the Tea Party foreign policy?
Paul: a big powerful expensive defense
and lower debt
Amanpour: could you name some specific cuts?
Paul: freeze federal hiring and cut federal salaries
Amanpour: anything more specific?
Paul: there are lots of books about there
Amanpour: oh there are?
Paul: indeed we should stop printing so many - reading is overrated
Amanpour: good idea Rand
Paul: in Kentucky we balance the budget
Amanpour: how do you do that?
Paul: at the end of the year everyone digs in their couches for spare change
Amanpour: will you vote to raise the debt ceiling?
Paul: no
Amanpour: but then the U.S. will default
Paul: luckily no one likes me so my vote won’t matter
Amanpour: so will you have any influence in Congress?
Paul: we’re the Tea Party - we’re loud and proud
Amanpour: can the tea party compromise with Democrats?
Paul: sure - let’s cut defense
Amanpour: but what about all our fun wars?
Paul: I’m patriotic but I’m starting to wonder whether all these wars are all they’re cracked up to be
Amanpour: oh dear
[ break ]
Amanpour: Mike Pence are you running for President and if so are you crazy
Pence: I will consult with my family and the Lord
Amanpour: Rush Limbaugh?
Pence: that’s right
Amanpour: Dave Stockman what is the Big Lie?
Stockman: both parties have both become Free Lunchers
Amanpour: oh noe
Stockman: the debt is out of control
Pence: in this week Americans rejected liberalism and bailouts
Amanpour: but Republicans were behind the bailout
Pence: maybe but that was before - Republicans
are now against all domestic spending
Amanpour: how interesting
Stockman: criminy we put the GOP in charge and they wrecked everything - we need to take on Grannies, the Pentagon, and Scooter Manufacturers
Pence: the Axis of Evil
Stockman: we have a Credit Card Empire
Amanpour: what is that?
Stockman: its like a Boardwalk Empire after you’ve gone into a casino
Pence: we have to cut spending right now that a black Democrat is President
Stockman: we should raise taxes
Pence: no, no, no anything but that
Stockman: we can’t police the world with this deficit
Pence: if we raise taxes the rich will Go Galt and take the job-creating abilities to the Cayman Islands
Stockman: the Chinese are coming to take us over
Amanpour: why is so much American wealth going to the very rich?
Pence: hey those rich people create all the jobs - those people should get down on their knee and be grateful for the crumbs they get
Stockman: what a shithead
Amanpour: what happens now?
Podesta: Republicans have to offer real ideas
Amanpour: will there be compromise?
Podesta: no
Dowd: the voters want action and results
so Congress and the White House will have to work together
Bayh: well that’s easy to say but the good moderates keep getting pushed aside by the bad activists
Dowd: Obama must credibly reach across the aisle - he has the megaphone therefore this is all his fault
Amanpour: what did all 100 million voters say Amy?
Walter: they said ‘we hate moderates - we want polarization!’
Amanpour: really?
Walter: no they were saying ‘we want jobs’
Amanpour: I hear that
Will: liberals are under the delusion that they improved the economy
Podesta: they did
Amanpour: interesting
Podesta: but now that Obama has fixed the economy he must cut the debt
Bayh: voters want bland boring moderates with
no principles
Amanpour: how lucky for you
Bayh: yay me
Amanpour: now that Warren Buffet has embraced liberal ideas are progressive policies dead?
Podesta: Obama must offer Republicans something they want like a a payroll holiday or Fox News
in every home
Dowd: or the GOP could offer spending cuts
Bayh: voters care about one thing: cutting spending and the debt
Amanpour: I didn’t know that
Bayh: look at the UK they’re doing great with their austerity program
Will: the GOP care about the debt but they really care about lower taxes for rich people
Amanpour: are there any women left in politics?
Walter: sure Sarah Palin, Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Bachmann and Nikki Haley
Amanpour: oh my - should the Dems reelect Pelosi
Podesta: yes the GOP are scared of her
Bayh: um what [ staring at self in monitor ]
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Meet The Press - October 31, 2010
Guests:
John Brennan - White House counterterrorism advisor
Gov. Haley Barbour (R-MS)
Tim Kaine - DNC Chair
Tom Brokaw
Chuck Todd
Michelle Norris
Charlie Cook
Mark Halperin
*******************
Gregory: are there explosive packages still
out there and should this affect my trick or treating?
Brennan: absolutely
Gregory: so I should be very frightened?
Brennan: at all times
Gregory: Is the same group behind the
Christmas Day plot to drop wrapped packages
down our chimneys?
Brennan: yes and they targeted synagogues
so they covered their bases
Gregory: were they tying to exploit the fact there
are no passengers on cargo planes which could be very threatening?
Brennan: right
Gregory: that sounds terrifying
Brennan: it is
Gregory: but there’s a huge loophole because
cargo isn’t screened!
Brennan: yes terrorists may just start mailing bombs marked “you may already be a winner”
Gregory: I love those
Brennan: who wouldn’t open one of those?
Gregory: is Al-Qaeda evolving?
Brennan: yes like primates into humans
Gregory: amazing
[ break ]
Gregory: Gov. Barbour what is this election about?
Barbour: it’s about excessive spending
and debt
Gregory: it’s a repudiation of Republicans?
Barbour: no no - see after 30 years of doing the opposite the GOP is now against spending and debt and deficits
Gregory: oh I see
Kaine: look we cut the deficit and they said their only goal is to make Obama a one-term President
Barbour: this is biggest lurch to the left since FDR and people hate that guy
Gregory: give me your prediction
Barbour: Pain!
Gregory: you said politicians will run on
healthcare and none of them are
Kaine: that’s a lie
Gregory: maybe but it’s a good story
Kaine: you sure seem to love it
Gregory: most Dems are not running on health care reform
Kaine: that’s just not true
Barbour: oh lawdy oh mah stars
Gregory: Gov. Barbour I love your ideas but can
you really keep your promises to cut medicare and spending?
Barbour: anyone can cut $100 billion
Gregory: so why don’t you say how you will do it?
Barbour: aww hawgwash
Gregory: can you really please repeal health care reform?
Barbour: we’ll try Flaffy
Gregory: can there be bipartisanship?
Kaine: we’re going to force the GOP to cut
social security
Gregory: wow!
Barbour: skyrockin debt!
Kaine: we saved the auto industry
Barbour: who is the left of Obama I mean who
spent more than him??
Kaine: Nixon Ford Reagan Bush and Bush
Barbour: well except for them
[ break ]
Gregory: can the GOP take the Senate?
Todd: Nevada is fascinating because you have a milquetoast senate majority leader up against an utter lunatic
Gregory: that’s very interesting
Todd: in the House Democrats are playing
an away game
[ break ]
Gregory: so roundtable what do voters want?
Brokaw: my keen insight says people are mad and believe everything they see on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube
Cook: this is a Parliament election
Gregory: Funkadelic!
Cook: the GOP is going to explode!
Gregory: people are very angry but then again we have a very controversial rally for sanity
Norris: those horrible progressives should have been out canvassing instead of attending a rally
Gregory: indeed they should shower and get a job and knock on doors
Norris: voters are very pragmatic and want something done so will vote for a person who
wants to bring a chicken to the doctor
Halperin: the rally for sanity was the Angry Left like the Beck rally was the Angry Right
Todd: the next 2 years will be a war of the White House vs. the House of Representatives
Gregory: ooh cool
Todd: we don’t know how crazy the House will be - Batshit Insane or merely Totally Psycho
Cook: by ten p.m. election night returns should tell us the results of the election
Gregory: truly you have amazing insight
Gregory: Mark Halperin you say Obama is a compromising moderate who is too far left
Brokaw: Obama does the right things but he is an emotionless Vulcan
Halperin: Obama doesn’t fight for the
American people
Norris: he hasn’t made the case for his own Presidency
Gregory: I don’t care what the truth is and I have studied this and precious few Democrats are running with the President
Brokaw: I was on the Internet and the President
is very unpopular
Gregory: that walrus doing exercises is a clear repudiation of Obamacare
Brokaw: #warble
Gregory: #ihateobama
Gregory: wow that race is Florida is crazy and it’s bad for Democrats there!
Norris: forget that - it will crush Democrats
across the nation!
Gregory: the bloggersphere is angry!
Cook: that’s silly
Gregory: what is the GOP planning?
Brokaw: the tea party wants to repeal health care, social security drug benefits and the law of gravity
Gregory: what will Obama do?
Halperin: he’s got to stop being so passive where he justs sit back and enacts stimulus, health care reform, financial reform - he’s go to do something!
Gregory: he’s so lazy - people hate him!
Todd: there is going to be a big budget fight in 2011!
Gregory: wow that sounds like much fun
Todd: the tea party will offer a chance for Obama to create a rift in the GOP
Brokaw: they are an odd bunch
Gregory: people want politicians to work together
Halperin: that’s not the tea party’s m.o.
Gregory: what about the war?
Brokaw: which one?
Gregory: Afghanistan
Brokaw: the war against Islamic Rage
Gregory: ooh that’s a fun one too
Brokaw: we should talk about how a small number
of troops are doing all the fighting
Audience: should we have had the conversation
in 2001?
Cook: everyone assumed Obama would be weak on defense but it turns out he’s soft on jobs
Todd: the tea party are isolationists so we might as well pull out of Afghanistan
Cook: the GOP is going to have an unearned win this election because there are no jobs
Todd: Feingold losing would hurt Obama in 2012
Brokaw: Reagan’s approval ratings were worse than Obama’s after 2 years
Gregory: Dutch?? [ sobs ]
**************************
Special Halloween Episode - 2009
John Brennan - White House counterterrorism advisor
Gov. Haley Barbour (R-MS)
Tim Kaine - DNC Chair
Tom Brokaw
Chuck Todd
Michelle Norris
Charlie Cook
Mark Halperin
*******************
Gregory: are there explosive packages still
out there and should this affect my trick or treating?
Brennan: absolutely
Gregory: so I should be very frightened?
Brennan: at all times
Gregory: Is the same group behind the
Christmas Day plot to drop wrapped packages
down our chimneys?
Brennan: yes and they targeted synagogues
so they covered their bases
Gregory: were they tying to exploit the fact there
are no passengers on cargo planes which could be very threatening?
Brennan: right
Gregory: that sounds terrifying
Brennan: it is
Gregory: but there’s a huge loophole because
cargo isn’t screened!
Brennan: yes terrorists may just start mailing bombs marked “you may already be a winner”
Gregory: I love those
Brennan: who wouldn’t open one of those?
Gregory: is Al-Qaeda evolving?
Brennan: yes like primates into humans
Gregory: amazing
[ break ]
Gregory: Gov. Barbour what is this election about?
Barbour: it’s about excessive spending
and debt
Gregory: it’s a repudiation of Republicans?
Barbour: no no - see after 30 years of doing the opposite the GOP is now against spending and debt and deficits
Gregory: oh I see
Kaine: look we cut the deficit and they said their only goal is to make Obama a one-term President
Barbour: this is biggest lurch to the left since FDR and people hate that guy
Gregory: give me your prediction
Barbour: Pain!
Gregory: you said politicians will run on
healthcare and none of them are
Kaine: that’s a lie
Gregory: maybe but it’s a good story
Kaine: you sure seem to love it
Gregory: most Dems are not running on health care reform
Kaine: that’s just not true
Barbour: oh lawdy oh mah stars
Gregory: Gov. Barbour I love your ideas but can
you really keep your promises to cut medicare and spending?
Barbour: anyone can cut $100 billion
Gregory: so why don’t you say how you will do it?
Barbour: aww hawgwash
Gregory: can you really please repeal health care reform?
Barbour: we’ll try Flaffy
Gregory: can there be bipartisanship?
Kaine: we’re going to force the GOP to cut
social security
Gregory: wow!
Barbour: skyrockin debt!
Kaine: we saved the auto industry
Barbour: who is the left of Obama I mean who
spent more than him??
Kaine: Nixon Ford Reagan Bush and Bush
Barbour: well except for them
[ break ]
Gregory: can the GOP take the Senate?
Todd: Nevada is fascinating because you have a milquetoast senate majority leader up against an utter lunatic
Gregory: that’s very interesting
Todd: in the House Democrats are playing
an away game
[ break ]
Gregory: so roundtable what do voters want?
Brokaw: my keen insight says people are mad and believe everything they see on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube
Cook: this is a Parliament election
Gregory: Funkadelic!
Cook: the GOP is going to explode!
Gregory: people are very angry but then again we have a very controversial rally for sanity
Norris: those horrible progressives should have been out canvassing instead of attending a rally
Gregory: indeed they should shower and get a job and knock on doors
Norris: voters are very pragmatic and want something done so will vote for a person who
wants to bring a chicken to the doctor
Halperin: the rally for sanity was the Angry Left like the Beck rally was the Angry Right
Todd: the next 2 years will be a war of the White House vs. the House of Representatives
Gregory: ooh cool
Todd: we don’t know how crazy the House will be - Batshit Insane or merely Totally Psycho
Cook: by ten p.m. election night returns should tell us the results of the election
Gregory: truly you have amazing insight
Gregory: Mark Halperin you say Obama is a compromising moderate who is too far left
Brokaw: Obama does the right things but he is an emotionless Vulcan
Halperin: Obama doesn’t fight for the
American people
Norris: he hasn’t made the case for his own Presidency
Gregory: I don’t care what the truth is and I have studied this and precious few Democrats are running with the President
Brokaw: I was on the Internet and the President
is very unpopular
Gregory: that walrus doing exercises is a clear repudiation of Obamacare
Brokaw: #warble
Gregory: #ihateobama
Gregory: wow that race is Florida is crazy and it’s bad for Democrats there!
Norris: forget that - it will crush Democrats
across the nation!
Gregory: the bloggersphere is angry!
Cook: that’s silly
Gregory: what is the GOP planning?
Brokaw: the tea party wants to repeal health care, social security drug benefits and the law of gravity
Gregory: what will Obama do?
Halperin: he’s got to stop being so passive where he justs sit back and enacts stimulus, health care reform, financial reform - he’s go to do something!
Gregory: he’s so lazy - people hate him!
Todd: there is going to be a big budget fight in 2011!
Gregory: wow that sounds like much fun
Todd: the tea party will offer a chance for Obama to create a rift in the GOP
Brokaw: they are an odd bunch
Gregory: people want politicians to work together
Halperin: that’s not the tea party’s m.o.
Gregory: what about the war?
Brokaw: which one?
Gregory: Afghanistan
Brokaw: the war against Islamic Rage
Gregory: ooh that’s a fun one too
Brokaw: we should talk about how a small number
of troops are doing all the fighting
Audience: should we have had the conversation
in 2001?
Cook: everyone assumed Obama would be weak on defense but it turns out he’s soft on jobs
Todd: the tea party are isolationists so we might as well pull out of Afghanistan
Cook: the GOP is going to have an unearned win this election because there are no jobs
Todd: Feingold losing would hurt Obama in 2012
Brokaw: Reagan’s approval ratings were worse than Obama’s after 2 years
Gregory: Dutch?? [ sobs ]
**************************
Special Halloween Episode - 2009
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - October 31, 2010
Guests:
John Brennan
Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX)
Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ)
******************************
Amanpour: are there any explosive packages
still out there and what do they look like?
Brennan: worry if you get any unexpected mail from Yemen that is ticking loudly
Amanpour: is it all a plot by a woman and her daughter to wreck America?
Brennan: I didn’t come here to talk about the Palins
Amanpour: who is behind this?
Brennan: we’re looking for all kinds of people
Amanpour: like the men behind the underwear bomber
Brennan: we’re looking for the smoking thong
Amanpour: the PETN got by the PETS!
Brennan: it’s a bit of problem
Amanpour: what else can you do?
Brennan: forget sniffing dogs - we solved this plot with information from Saudi government
Amanpour: how did they know about it
Brennan: let’s just say they have their methods
Amanpour: should we all fly naked?
Brennan: that may work in Sweden but not here
Amanpour: what about cargo planes?
Brennan: they’re full of in-flight bombs like Clash
of the Titans
Amanpour: are we safe
Brennan: no but what can you do?
Amanpour: were they targeting synagogues?
Brennan: no they were only addressed there
to throw off suspicion
Amanpour: of course
Amanpour: will you win the Senate
Cornyn: no but we will in 2012
Amanpour: the end of the world!
Amanpour: have you given up on that loon
Joe Miller?
Cornyn: oh yeah but at least a Republican
is going to win
Menendez: I think we have a chance - Alaska
is crazy after all
Amanpour: Is this worse than 1994?
Menendez: no because people dislike Dems
but they also hate Republicans
Amanpour: good news indeed
Menendez: we need to remind people that the GOP brought us to the brink of destruction
Amanpour: people think Obama raised taxes, the debt, bailed out the banks and is from Rhodesia
Menendez: I think some of those aren’t true
Amanpour: you want Obama want to be a
one-term President
Cornyn: look in January 2009 we remembered
we care about spending
Amanpour: can there ever be bipartisanship?
Menendez: no because the GOP want Obama to fail
Amanpour: why are you keeping your spending
cuts a secret?
Cornyn: we will reveal our plans after the election
Amanpour: not before?
Cornyn: it will be fun like a surprise party
Amanpour: how about raising taxes on the rich?
Cornyn: oh no no
Amanpour: why not just keep the tax cuts for everybody?
Menendez: I thought the GOP was worried about
the debt!
Cornyn: who me?
Amanpour: David Vitter stopped spending money on prostitutes long enough to spend money to attack Hispanics
Cornyn: this is about Yemen terrorists!
Amanpour: ok then
John Brennan
Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX)
Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ)
******************************
Amanpour: are there any explosive packages
still out there and what do they look like?
Brennan: worry if you get any unexpected mail from Yemen that is ticking loudly
Amanpour: is it all a plot by a woman and her daughter to wreck America?
Brennan: I didn’t come here to talk about the Palins
Amanpour: who is behind this?
Brennan: we’re looking for all kinds of people
Amanpour: like the men behind the underwear bomber
Brennan: we’re looking for the smoking thong
Amanpour: the PETN got by the PETS!
Brennan: it’s a bit of problem
Amanpour: what else can you do?
Brennan: forget sniffing dogs - we solved this plot with information from Saudi government
Amanpour: how did they know about it
Brennan: let’s just say they have their methods
Amanpour: should we all fly naked?
Brennan: that may work in Sweden but not here
Amanpour: what about cargo planes?
Brennan: they’re full of in-flight bombs like Clash
of the Titans
Amanpour: are we safe
Brennan: no but what can you do?
Amanpour: were they targeting synagogues?
Brennan: no they were only addressed there
to throw off suspicion
Amanpour: of course
Amanpour: will you win the Senate
Cornyn: no but we will in 2012
Amanpour: the end of the world!
Amanpour: have you given up on that loon
Joe Miller?
Cornyn: oh yeah but at least a Republican
is going to win
Menendez: I think we have a chance - Alaska
is crazy after all
Amanpour: Is this worse than 1994?
Menendez: no because people dislike Dems
but they also hate Republicans
Amanpour: good news indeed
Menendez: we need to remind people that the GOP brought us to the brink of destruction
Amanpour: people think Obama raised taxes, the debt, bailed out the banks and is from Rhodesia
Menendez: I think some of those aren’t true
Amanpour: you want Obama want to be a
one-term President
Cornyn: look in January 2009 we remembered
we care about spending
Amanpour: can there ever be bipartisanship?
Menendez: no because the GOP want Obama to fail
Amanpour: why are you keeping your spending
cuts a secret?
Cornyn: we will reveal our plans after the election
Amanpour: not before?
Cornyn: it will be fun like a surprise party
Amanpour: how about raising taxes on the rich?
Cornyn: oh no no
Amanpour: why not just keep the tax cuts for everybody?
Menendez: I thought the GOP was worried about
the debt!
Cornyn: who me?
Amanpour: David Vitter stopped spending money on prostitutes long enough to spend money to attack Hispanics
Cornyn: this is about Yemen terrorists!
Amanpour: ok then
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Meet The Press with Michael Steele - October 24, 2010
Guests:
Michael Steele - RNC Chair
Harold Ford - Fmr Dem Rep.
E.J. Dionne
Rachel Maddow
Rick Santelli
******************************
Gregory: Oooh the Final Countdown to election day - here’s the chair of the RNC!!!
Steele: hey-ooo!!!
Gregory: Mike is it true Republicans created a big mess and decided to obstruct Obama so the mess wouldn’t be fixed?
Steele: oh no Republicans wanted to tort reform
and Obama said no
Gregory: oh that is so sad!
Steele: Fluffy the GOP leaders tried to meet with Obama and he wouldn’t invite them to his
Superbowl party
Gregory: so are we looking at a massive
GOP sweep?
Steele: Greggers the excitement is off the hook!
it’s crazy!
Gregory: whoa that’s amazing
Steele: we’re taking the House - it’s on
it’s happening!
Gregory: I don’t want to throw cold water on your party but I can’t help but notice that you nominated
a bunch of lunatics for high office
Steele: look Chris we all make misstatements
Gregory: my name is David
Steele: see what I mean!
Gregory: right
Steele: you have to look into someone’s heart not whether they are a witch or hate gays or have never read the Constitution or wear a Nazi uniform
Gregory: is O’Donnell qualified for the U.S. Senate?
Steele: it’s snobbish and very elitist to insist that a Senator be able to read at a third-grade level
Gregory: Pelosi says the GOP is creating a plutocracy
Steele: Pluto?! Who cares about some damm
cartoon dog?!?!
Gregory: ok
Steele: don’t be high and mighty about disclosure - Nancy Pelosi should disclose what she says the GOP are not disclosing!
Gregory: are there secret organizations funding
GOP elections?
Steele: How should I know?!?! They’re secret!!
Gregory: well that seems like a problem
Steele: the law doesn’t require disclosure!
Gregory: well should it?
Steele: I love transparency so Nancy Pelosi should put up or shut and identify the secret funders
of GOP elections!!
Gregory: Eric Cantor says National Public Radio is captured by radical Islamic terrorists
Steele: Garrison Keillor may wear muslim garb -
who can say?? The man is on the damm radio!!
Gregory: a salient point indeed
Steele: look Juan Williams was expressing his own fear of muslim garb which is the same thing that
Tina Notenberg said about Strom Thurmond
Gregory: should we eliminate NPR?
Steele: I’m not interested in policy I just want to use this ridiculous issue to win elections
Gregory: can we win in 2012?
Steele: oh it’s gonna be incredibly exciting -
in 2 years the GOP is going to have a whole new crop of crazy people and delusional psychotics
to run for office!
Gregory: speaking of that - your tenure at the RNC has been one fiasco after another
Steele: look I’m a different kind of chairman - I’ve created a network of unqualified ignorant freaks all across this country
Gregory: thank you very much Mike
[ break ]
Gregory: so group what’s going on with the 2010 elections?
Brooks: voters hate everybody so the elections are all getting closer
Maddow: the country hasn’t changed ideologically in 2 years as exciting as all those tea partiers are
Gregory: Obama says America is scared and so people act irrationally
Santelli: that’s odd because all the rich people I know are very calm and happy
Dionne: Dems need a clear message embracing and even bragging about the stimulus and health care reform
Gregory: but as a nation we’re on the wrong track!
Ford: Obama and Democrats have to focus on jobs and growth and also do whatever Republicans want
Gregory: what about all these secret donations pouring into political campaigns and putting on confusing ads?
Brooks: it’s only important if you care about it corrupting our government - let’s talk about whether it affects the horse race!
Gregory: yeah!
Brooks: it’s only $12 million - who cares?
Dionne: hell yeah $200 million matters - why do you think corporations are spending this money just for the fun or it??
Maddow: we don’t know how much money is being spent by Karl Rove because it’s a fucking secret
Gregory: this is the law of the land - should it be changed?
Santelli: I’m a firm believer in process - for example we could have a process to buy and sell Senate seats on eBay
Gregory: Rick Santelli you are the Father of the Tea Party - and your candidates are mostly illiterate nuts and not even winning
Santelli: let’s not be snobs just because a candidate hasn’t read the First Amendment
Gregory: you’re joking
Ford: the problem is she celebrates her ignorance - on the other hand I’ve been on Capitol Hill those guys are not too bright either
Gregory: after all you were in Congress
Ford: exactly
Maddow: The 2010 election can be summed up in Nevada: Reid is very unpopular but will because Sharron Angle is crazy, violent and racist
Ford: look all politicians are corrupt and most are insane
Gregory: even Fortune magazine thinks the GOP plan is incoherent
Brooks: the people want their cake and eat it too - which the GOP has promised since 1980
Gregory: let us cry for Juan Williams
Dionne: a student of mine once listened to every hour of NPR for a whole week
Audience: dear god
Dionne: NPR is a good news organization and Fox
is a pure propaganda network
Gregory: perhaps
Dionne: they should have told Juan Williams to choose between NPR and Fox
Ford: oh poor poor Juan Williams!
Santelli: we just need to elect ignorant uninformed rabid anti-government Tea Partiers to make raising taxes popular
Maddow: that’s the single stupidest thing I have
ever heard in my entire life
Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press
***********************************
Digby & Watertiger on Virtually Speaking Sunday Tonight
October 24 8:00 p.m. EST / 5:00 p.m. Pacific
Simulcast on BlogTalkRadio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/virtuallyspeaking/2010/10/25/virtually-speaking-sundays
Subscribe via iTunes - http://bit.ly/8Szklp
Second Life:
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Virtually%20Speaking/164/111/25
Michael Steele - RNC Chair
Harold Ford - Fmr Dem Rep.
E.J. Dionne
Rachel Maddow
Rick Santelli
******************************
Gregory: Oooh the Final Countdown to election day - here’s the chair of the RNC!!!
Steele: hey-ooo!!!
Gregory: Mike is it true Republicans created a big mess and decided to obstruct Obama so the mess wouldn’t be fixed?
Steele: oh no Republicans wanted to tort reform
and Obama said no
Gregory: oh that is so sad!
Steele: Fluffy the GOP leaders tried to meet with Obama and he wouldn’t invite them to his
Superbowl party
Gregory: so are we looking at a massive
GOP sweep?
Steele: Greggers the excitement is off the hook!
it’s crazy!
Gregory: whoa that’s amazing
Steele: we’re taking the House - it’s on
it’s happening!
Gregory: I don’t want to throw cold water on your party but I can’t help but notice that you nominated
a bunch of lunatics for high office
Steele: look Chris we all make misstatements
Gregory: my name is David
Steele: see what I mean!
Gregory: right
Steele: you have to look into someone’s heart not whether they are a witch or hate gays or have never read the Constitution or wear a Nazi uniform
Gregory: is O’Donnell qualified for the U.S. Senate?
Steele: it’s snobbish and very elitist to insist that a Senator be able to read at a third-grade level
Gregory: Pelosi says the GOP is creating a plutocracy
Steele: Pluto?! Who cares about some damm
cartoon dog?!?!
Gregory: ok
Steele: don’t be high and mighty about disclosure - Nancy Pelosi should disclose what she says the GOP are not disclosing!
Gregory: are there secret organizations funding
GOP elections?
Steele: How should I know?!?! They’re secret!!
Gregory: well that seems like a problem
Steele: the law doesn’t require disclosure!
Gregory: well should it?
Steele: I love transparency so Nancy Pelosi should put up or shut and identify the secret funders
of GOP elections!!
Gregory: Eric Cantor says National Public Radio is captured by radical Islamic terrorists
Steele: Garrison Keillor may wear muslim garb -
who can say?? The man is on the damm radio!!
Gregory: a salient point indeed
Steele: look Juan Williams was expressing his own fear of muslim garb which is the same thing that
Tina Notenberg said about Strom Thurmond
Gregory: should we eliminate NPR?
Steele: I’m not interested in policy I just want to use this ridiculous issue to win elections
Gregory: can we win in 2012?
Steele: oh it’s gonna be incredibly exciting -
in 2 years the GOP is going to have a whole new crop of crazy people and delusional psychotics
to run for office!
Gregory: speaking of that - your tenure at the RNC has been one fiasco after another
Steele: look I’m a different kind of chairman - I’ve created a network of unqualified ignorant freaks all across this country
Gregory: thank you very much Mike
[ break ]
Gregory: so group what’s going on with the 2010 elections?
Brooks: voters hate everybody so the elections are all getting closer
Maddow: the country hasn’t changed ideologically in 2 years as exciting as all those tea partiers are
Gregory: Obama says America is scared and so people act irrationally
Santelli: that’s odd because all the rich people I know are very calm and happy
Dionne: Dems need a clear message embracing and even bragging about the stimulus and health care reform
Gregory: but as a nation we’re on the wrong track!
Ford: Obama and Democrats have to focus on jobs and growth and also do whatever Republicans want
Gregory: what about all these secret donations pouring into political campaigns and putting on confusing ads?
Brooks: it’s only important if you care about it corrupting our government - let’s talk about whether it affects the horse race!
Gregory: yeah!
Brooks: it’s only $12 million - who cares?
Dionne: hell yeah $200 million matters - why do you think corporations are spending this money just for the fun or it??
Maddow: we don’t know how much money is being spent by Karl Rove because it’s a fucking secret
Gregory: this is the law of the land - should it be changed?
Santelli: I’m a firm believer in process - for example we could have a process to buy and sell Senate seats on eBay
Gregory: Rick Santelli you are the Father of the Tea Party - and your candidates are mostly illiterate nuts and not even winning
Santelli: let’s not be snobs just because a candidate hasn’t read the First Amendment
Gregory: you’re joking
Ford: the problem is she celebrates her ignorance - on the other hand I’ve been on Capitol Hill those guys are not too bright either
Gregory: after all you were in Congress
Ford: exactly
Maddow: The 2010 election can be summed up in Nevada: Reid is very unpopular but will because Sharron Angle is crazy, violent and racist
Ford: look all politicians are corrupt and most are insane
Gregory: even Fortune magazine thinks the GOP plan is incoherent
Brooks: the people want their cake and eat it too - which the GOP has promised since 1980
Gregory: let us cry for Juan Williams
Dionne: a student of mine once listened to every hour of NPR for a whole week
Audience: dear god
Dionne: NPR is a good news organization and Fox
is a pure propaganda network
Gregory: perhaps
Dionne: they should have told Juan Williams to choose between NPR and Fox
Ford: oh poor poor Juan Williams!
Santelli: we just need to elect ignorant uninformed rabid anti-government Tea Partiers to make raising taxes popular
Maddow: that’s the single stupidest thing I have
ever heard in my entire life
Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press
***********************************
Digby & Watertiger on Virtually Speaking Sunday Tonight
October 24 8:00 p.m. EST / 5:00 p.m. Pacific
Simulcast on BlogTalkRadio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/virtuallyspeaking/2010/10/25/virtually-speaking-sundays
Subscribe via iTunes - http://bit.ly/8Szklp
Second Life:
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Virtually%20Speaking/164/111/25
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - October 24, 2010
Guests:
Tim Kaine - DNC Chair
Ed Gillespie - GOP strategist
Anita Dunn - Dem strategist
George Will
Amy Walter
****************************
Amanpour: the election is 9 days away and America has so many lunatics to choose from
Kaine: we can keep the House if everything changes
Amanpour: the polls say you’re gong to lose
Kaine: true - but have you seen those cheering rallies?
Amanpour: Will Pelosi stay on?
Kaine: she deserves a medal for herding all those assholes
Amanpour: and the Senate?
Kaine: thank god for Angle, O’Donnell, and that looney Toomey
Amanpour: but why aren’t you sweeping into office with rose petals strewn at your feet?
Kaine: we got the policy right but forgot to
advertise our successes
Amanpour: that seems like the kind of thing
a politician would remember
Kaine: well we were all very busy at the time
Amanpour: Bill Clinton says he can’t believe
you might lose the House after just 2 years of Obama’s Presidency
Kaine: um, 1994?
Amanpour: but you need to sell whatever you’ve done
Kaine: we saved the auto industry and prevented
a Depression
Amanpour: the Dems are running away from your famous health care reform
Kaine: I don’t see that happening - very much anyway
Amanpour: but Republicans are running ads
against health care reform
Kaine: of course they are - they also dress like Nazis and pay their coven tithes in chickens
Amanpour: why don’t you undisclosed-outside-funded ads?
Kaine: because we’re pure and believe in full disclosure
Amanpour: the economy sucks and the Democrats are in charge of all three branches of government
Kaine: we’ve accomplished an incredible amount
but the Republicans won’t allow us to accomplish anything
Amanpour: sell me on your achievements
Kaine: we have great job growth
Amanpour: in 2011 will we finally get bipartisanship?
Kaine: Christiane are you high?
[ break ]
Amanpour: welcome to the rouddtable - in a time of economic hardship, American has nominated a bunch of crazy people, weirdos, psychotics and general nutjobs
Will: the tea party was created out of disappointment with Bush and the Republicans
Gillespie: the tea party has energized the GOP -
I love those wackos
Amanpour: what are they so mad about?
Gillespie: Obama is taking over every business
in America!
Dunn: I agree with the tea party - the Republican party sucks
Amanpour: interesting
Dunn: there may be an enthusiasm gap but no one really wants Republican ideas - they’re just mad and disappointed
Amanpour: why are Republicans so secretive?
Gillespie: Obama hides the identity of people who gave him only $10 and unions are spending taxpayer money on elections!
Dunn: dear god that’s stupid
Gillespie: look we’re obeying the corrupt laws we enacted to protect billionaires
Walter: voters are anti-everything - they would vote against themselves if they could
Will: it’s amazing that billionaires don’t spend more to influence elections - they’re so selfless and wonderful
Dunn: so government is bought and paid for - people care about that!
Gillespie: people don’t care about corrupt elections - they care about the debt!
Amanpour: polls say people want the government to create jobs
Dunn: Bush was losing a million jobs a month!
Will: the election is over and the voters have said they hate Obama
Amanpour: thank you for that report from fantasy-land
*************************
Tim Kaine - DNC Chair
Ed Gillespie - GOP strategist
Anita Dunn - Dem strategist
George Will
Amy Walter
****************************
Amanpour: the election is 9 days away and America has so many lunatics to choose from
Kaine: we can keep the House if everything changes
Amanpour: the polls say you’re gong to lose
Kaine: true - but have you seen those cheering rallies?
Amanpour: Will Pelosi stay on?
Kaine: she deserves a medal for herding all those assholes
Amanpour: and the Senate?
Kaine: thank god for Angle, O’Donnell, and that looney Toomey
Amanpour: but why aren’t you sweeping into office with rose petals strewn at your feet?
Kaine: we got the policy right but forgot to
advertise our successes
Amanpour: that seems like the kind of thing
a politician would remember
Kaine: well we were all very busy at the time
Amanpour: Bill Clinton says he can’t believe
you might lose the House after just 2 years of Obama’s Presidency
Kaine: um, 1994?
Amanpour: but you need to sell whatever you’ve done
Kaine: we saved the auto industry and prevented
a Depression
Amanpour: the Dems are running away from your famous health care reform
Kaine: I don’t see that happening - very much anyway
Amanpour: but Republicans are running ads
against health care reform
Kaine: of course they are - they also dress like Nazis and pay their coven tithes in chickens
Amanpour: why don’t you undisclosed-outside-funded ads?
Kaine: because we’re pure and believe in full disclosure
Amanpour: the economy sucks and the Democrats are in charge of all three branches of government
Kaine: we’ve accomplished an incredible amount
but the Republicans won’t allow us to accomplish anything
Amanpour: sell me on your achievements
Kaine: we have great job growth
Amanpour: in 2011 will we finally get bipartisanship?
Kaine: Christiane are you high?
[ break ]
Amanpour: welcome to the rouddtable - in a time of economic hardship, American has nominated a bunch of crazy people, weirdos, psychotics and general nutjobs
Will: the tea party was created out of disappointment with Bush and the Republicans
Gillespie: the tea party has energized the GOP -
I love those wackos
Amanpour: what are they so mad about?
Gillespie: Obama is taking over every business
in America!
Dunn: I agree with the tea party - the Republican party sucks
Amanpour: interesting
Dunn: there may be an enthusiasm gap but no one really wants Republican ideas - they’re just mad and disappointed
Amanpour: why are Republicans so secretive?
Gillespie: Obama hides the identity of people who gave him only $10 and unions are spending taxpayer money on elections!
Dunn: dear god that’s stupid
Gillespie: look we’re obeying the corrupt laws we enacted to protect billionaires
Walter: voters are anti-everything - they would vote against themselves if they could
Will: it’s amazing that billionaires don’t spend more to influence elections - they’re so selfless and wonderful
Dunn: so government is bought and paid for - people care about that!
Gillespie: people don’t care about corrupt elections - they care about the debt!
Amanpour: polls say people want the government to create jobs
Dunn: Bush was losing a million jobs a month!
Will: the election is over and the voters have said they hate Obama
Amanpour: thank you for that report from fantasy-land
*************************
Sunday, October 10, 2010
60 Minutes - October 10, 2010
Kroft: computers trade all stocks nowadays
which is not unexpected if you’ve seen the Terminator movies
Audience: awesome
Kroft: Big banks own computers which
on their own trade a billion shares of stocks a day
Audience: how nice
Kroft: Do humans do any trading?
Computer trading guy: hell no humans
are slow and stupid
Kroft: why would you buy a stock and
hold it 30 seconds?
Owner: it’s called buy hold and dump dude
Kroft: how do you make money doing that?
Owner: did you ever seen Superman III
with Richard Pryor?
Kroft: yes
Owner: we make 40 million pennies a day
Kroft: so the computers don’t know if the
CEO is a crook or having an affair
Owner: right - it’s all math
Kroft: you take human beings out of capitalism
Owner: it seemed only logical
Other guy: you can’t make money
doing this without cheating
Kroft: they’re not cheating - they just
have fast computers
Other guy: that is cheating Steve
Kroft: traders will pay for access to information
normal people can’t get
Stock Exchange guy: right it’s genius
Other guy: this is more cheating
Kroft: but it’s only for milliseconds
Other guy: you poor deluded fool
Kroft: but doesn’t this create jobs?
Other guy: no it’s just guys rigging a casino
Stock exchange guy: look if you’re holding stocks long-term don’t worry if the computers will become self aware and foreclose on your house
Kroft: the chances of that happening are slim
Stock exchange guy: right like one in five
Sen. Kauffman: did you ever seen
2001: A Space Odyssey - these computers may
kill us all for no reason!
Kroft: that almost happened last year
Schapiro: that was scary
Kroft: should we put computers in charge of our retirement funds?
Schapiro: Algorithms almost sold the US government to China last spring
Sen. Kauffman: there are a small number of people swimming in a river of wealth
Stock guy: we have to trick people into putting all their money into a system clearly rigged by a select few to get rich using computers you can’t see or use
Kroft: of course
which is not unexpected if you’ve seen the Terminator movies
Audience: awesome
Kroft: Big banks own computers which
on their own trade a billion shares of stocks a day
Audience: how nice
Kroft: Do humans do any trading?
Computer trading guy: hell no humans
are slow and stupid
Kroft: why would you buy a stock and
hold it 30 seconds?
Owner: it’s called buy hold and dump dude
Kroft: how do you make money doing that?
Owner: did you ever seen Superman III
with Richard Pryor?
Kroft: yes
Owner: we make 40 million pennies a day
Kroft: so the computers don’t know if the
CEO is a crook or having an affair
Owner: right - it’s all math
Kroft: you take human beings out of capitalism
Owner: it seemed only logical
Other guy: you can’t make money
doing this without cheating
Kroft: they’re not cheating - they just
have fast computers
Other guy: that is cheating Steve
Kroft: traders will pay for access to information
normal people can’t get
Stock Exchange guy: right it’s genius
Other guy: this is more cheating
Kroft: but it’s only for milliseconds
Other guy: you poor deluded fool
Kroft: but doesn’t this create jobs?
Other guy: no it’s just guys rigging a casino
Stock exchange guy: look if you’re holding stocks long-term don’t worry if the computers will become self aware and foreclose on your house
Kroft: the chances of that happening are slim
Stock exchange guy: right like one in five
Sen. Kauffman: did you ever seen
2001: A Space Odyssey - these computers may
kill us all for no reason!
Kroft: that almost happened last year
Schapiro: that was scary
Kroft: should we put computers in charge of our retirement funds?
Schapiro: Algorithms almost sold the US government to China last spring
Sen. Kauffman: there are a small number of people swimming in a river of wealth
Stock guy: we have to trick people into putting all their money into a system clearly rigged by a select few to get rich using computers you can’t see or use
Kroft: of course
Meet The Press - October 10, 2010
Guests:
Alexi Giannoulias (D-Illinois Sen. candidate)
Mark Kirk (R-Illinois Sen. candidate)
Joe Klein
Peggy Noonan
***********************
Gregory: Alexi did Obama bring change to America?
Giannoulias: he inherited a true mess and now
we have to get a trillion dollars off the sidelines and in the game
Kirk: Obama added debt which Nixon, Reagan,
Bush I and Bush II and Republicans would never do
Gregory: do you really want to stand by the Republican record on debt?
Kirk: No
Gregory: how do we add jobs?
Kirk: this Congress is viciously anti-business!
Gregory: your answer is more tax cuts
Kirk: not only that - crush the unions!
Giannoulias: I’m the only one here who has
worked in the private sector
Gregory: so how would you create jobs?
Giannoulias: people can’t get a loan so we need to get liquid
Gregory: you said the stimulus should be
bigger which is amazing!
Giannoulias: damm right
Gregory: but they promised unemployment of 8%!
Giannoulias: Look moron the stimulus prevented another Great Depression
Kirk: the Democrats want to impose a 900 billion tax increase on December 31 which is terrifying
Gregory: but I thought your big fear was the debt and now you won’t even raise taxes on
the richest Americans
Kirk: I want to limit our military jets to one engine each
Gregory: Okay
Giannoulias: he says he’s fiscal hawk but he voted for the Bridge to Nowhere, all of Bush’s budgets, Congressional pay raises, and to lift the debt ceiling - how will he pay for tax cuts for the rich??
Gregory: Captain Kirk?
Giannoulias: I would give Obama a line item veto
Gregory: Alex what would you cut?
Giannoulias: wasteful spending
Gregory: you misunderstood my question - I want you to say ‘raise the Social Security retirement age’
Kirk: sell the Tennessee Valley authority
Gregory: fascinating
Kirk: we can’t be like Europe with declining unemployment, social services and strong infrastructure - that’s just not the American way
Gregory: would you repeal the health care
reform bill?
Kirk: yes - replace it with tort reform
Giannoulias: and people think I’m an idiot
Kirk: the health care reform bill cuts spending
for old people!
Gregory: what about health care reform
Giannoulias: it banned pre-existing conditions
which was good
Kirk: no it cut Medicare
Gregory: Alexi you say you are a financial expert but your family’s bank went bankrupt and you appear to have mob ties
Giannoulias: My father came here as an immigrant and someday soon the family business will be completely legitimate
Gregory: but when did you stop working
for the bank?
Giannoulias: never ask me about my business Fluffy
Gregory: but you loaned money to criminals
Giannoulias: that’s where the money is
Gregory: you have strong ties to crooks
Giannoulias: so I’m perfect for Congress
Kirk: He’s Tony Soprano without the charm
Giannoulias: look we were a bank and we loaned money to people - you have no idea how a business works
Kirk: it’s true I don’t have experience lending
money to members of organized crime - it’s all his family does!
Giannoulias: Congressman we’re all a part of the same hypocrisy -- but never think that it applies to my family
Gregory: Captain Kirk-
Kirk: Admiral!
Gregory: Kirk you exaggerated being under fire, lied about being Intelligence Officer of the Year and claimed falsely that you ran the Pentagon War Room
Kirk: true - but I did see ‘Saving Private Ryan’
Giannoulias: people may be unsure what he believes but they will always know where I stand - I will
lend money to mobsters
Gregory: Facebook wants to know how you two would buck your parties
Kirk: I support stem cell research
Giannoulias: I oppose TARP
Gregory: brave stances indeed
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama is tied to Giannoulias who is tied to crooks and Kirk claimed he single-handledly defeated Khan
Klein: it’s an extraordinary election
Noonan: people are turned off by all the negative campaigning which is why it works
Gregory: does Obama help candidates?
Klein: of course he does Fluffy
Gregory: oh noe
Klein: people don’t want to hear endless debates about who lied - they want results from Washington
Gregory: you make it sound like people don’t like
my show
Klein: that’s true - they also hate Wall Street
and China
Gregory: it’s seems like the little people are very upset
Noonan: people are finally realizing America had a nice ride for 50 years and now the party is over
Gregory: Please bash Barack Obama for me
Noonan: if you insist Greggers - but I must tell you the people blame all of Washington
Gregory: Joe Klein will you please bash
Barak Obama
Klein: no - the people out there respect Obama but they don’t admire him because they don’t understand the health and financial reform bills
Gregory: I see
Klein: the American people are obsessed with China
Noonan: the Tea Party hate George W. Bush and the Republicans
Gregory: speaking of that let’s look at this clip of Sarah Palin on a local community access tv show
Klein: The American people know the Republicans have only bad ideas like needless wars and the Democrats have only ridiculous ideas like for forced breastfeeding by men
Noonan: people want to crush the government
Klein: yes but it’s a conundrum because the people I talked to out there want big spending and they don’t care about the debt
Noonan: those may be the facts but my gut tells people feel spending is out of control
Gregory: and my gut tells me that’s another episode of Meet The Press
Audience: [ vomits ]
Alexi Giannoulias (D-Illinois Sen. candidate)
Mark Kirk (R-Illinois Sen. candidate)
Joe Klein
Peggy Noonan
***********************
Gregory: Alexi did Obama bring change to America?
Giannoulias: he inherited a true mess and now
we have to get a trillion dollars off the sidelines and in the game
Kirk: Obama added debt which Nixon, Reagan,
Bush I and Bush II and Republicans would never do
Gregory: do you really want to stand by the Republican record on debt?
Kirk: No
Gregory: how do we add jobs?
Kirk: this Congress is viciously anti-business!
Gregory: your answer is more tax cuts
Kirk: not only that - crush the unions!
Giannoulias: I’m the only one here who has
worked in the private sector
Gregory: so how would you create jobs?
Giannoulias: people can’t get a loan so we need to get liquid
Gregory: you said the stimulus should be
bigger which is amazing!
Giannoulias: damm right
Gregory: but they promised unemployment of 8%!
Giannoulias: Look moron the stimulus prevented another Great Depression
Kirk: the Democrats want to impose a 900 billion tax increase on December 31 which is terrifying
Gregory: but I thought your big fear was the debt and now you won’t even raise taxes on
the richest Americans
Kirk: I want to limit our military jets to one engine each
Gregory: Okay
Giannoulias: he says he’s fiscal hawk but he voted for the Bridge to Nowhere, all of Bush’s budgets, Congressional pay raises, and to lift the debt ceiling - how will he pay for tax cuts for the rich??
Gregory: Captain Kirk?
Giannoulias: I would give Obama a line item veto
Gregory: Alex what would you cut?
Giannoulias: wasteful spending
Gregory: you misunderstood my question - I want you to say ‘raise the Social Security retirement age’
Kirk: sell the Tennessee Valley authority
Gregory: fascinating
Kirk: we can’t be like Europe with declining unemployment, social services and strong infrastructure - that’s just not the American way
Gregory: would you repeal the health care
reform bill?
Kirk: yes - replace it with tort reform
Giannoulias: and people think I’m an idiot
Kirk: the health care reform bill cuts spending
for old people!
Gregory: what about health care reform
Giannoulias: it banned pre-existing conditions
which was good
Kirk: no it cut Medicare
Gregory: Alexi you say you are a financial expert but your family’s bank went bankrupt and you appear to have mob ties
Giannoulias: My father came here as an immigrant and someday soon the family business will be completely legitimate
Gregory: but when did you stop working
for the bank?
Giannoulias: never ask me about my business Fluffy
Gregory: but you loaned money to criminals
Giannoulias: that’s where the money is
Gregory: you have strong ties to crooks
Giannoulias: so I’m perfect for Congress
Kirk: He’s Tony Soprano without the charm
Giannoulias: look we were a bank and we loaned money to people - you have no idea how a business works
Kirk: it’s true I don’t have experience lending
money to members of organized crime - it’s all his family does!
Giannoulias: Congressman we’re all a part of the same hypocrisy -- but never think that it applies to my family
Gregory: Captain Kirk-
Kirk: Admiral!
Gregory: Kirk you exaggerated being under fire, lied about being Intelligence Officer of the Year and claimed falsely that you ran the Pentagon War Room
Kirk: true - but I did see ‘Saving Private Ryan’
Giannoulias: people may be unsure what he believes but they will always know where I stand - I will
lend money to mobsters
Gregory: Facebook wants to know how you two would buck your parties
Kirk: I support stem cell research
Giannoulias: I oppose TARP
Gregory: brave stances indeed
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama is tied to Giannoulias who is tied to crooks and Kirk claimed he single-handledly defeated Khan
Klein: it’s an extraordinary election
Noonan: people are turned off by all the negative campaigning which is why it works
Gregory: does Obama help candidates?
Klein: of course he does Fluffy
Gregory: oh noe
Klein: people don’t want to hear endless debates about who lied - they want results from Washington
Gregory: you make it sound like people don’t like
my show
Klein: that’s true - they also hate Wall Street
and China
Gregory: it’s seems like the little people are very upset
Noonan: people are finally realizing America had a nice ride for 50 years and now the party is over
Gregory: Please bash Barack Obama for me
Noonan: if you insist Greggers - but I must tell you the people blame all of Washington
Gregory: Joe Klein will you please bash
Barak Obama
Klein: no - the people out there respect Obama but they don’t admire him because they don’t understand the health and financial reform bills
Gregory: I see
Klein: the American people are obsessed with China
Noonan: the Tea Party hate George W. Bush and the Republicans
Gregory: speaking of that let’s look at this clip of Sarah Palin on a local community access tv show
Klein: The American people know the Republicans have only bad ideas like needless wars and the Democrats have only ridiculous ideas like for forced breastfeeding by men
Noonan: people want to crush the government
Klein: yes but it’s a conundrum because the people I talked to out there want big spending and they don’t care about the debt
Noonan: those may be the facts but my gut tells people feel spending is out of control
Gregory: and my gut tells me that’s another episode of Meet The Press
Audience: [ vomits ]
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - October 10, 2010
Guests:
Richard Blumenthal (D-CT Attorney General)
Linda McMahon (CEO WWE)
Christine LeGarde (French Finance Minister)
Pervez Musharraf (Former President of Pakistan)
***************************
Amanpour: Hi Bob Woodruff is reporting from a remote and strange place where journalists are never allowed access
Audience: the Christine O’Donnell headquarters?
Amanpour: Bob what did you see in North Korea?
Woodruff: we saw things we never saw before - we have a failed leader passing power
on to his idiot son
Amanpour: what do you know about the son
of the President
Woodruff: he speaks a little English and
enjoys sports
Amanpour: so he’s as qualified as Dubya
Amanpour: Connecticut has lost 100,000 jobs and has a shortage of gin & tonics so of course they have turned to a professional wrestling executive
Amanpour: you created 600 jobs based on oiled-up men wrestling each other on television -- so what federal spending would you cut?
McMahon: I would cut everything unpopular
Amanpour: would you cut defense Social Security
or Medicare and Medicaid?
McMahon: no
Amanpour: Linda your business was a degrading demeaning sexist violent steroid-ridden farce
McMahon: it used to be offensive but now it’s beefy men beating each other up geared toward children
Amanpour: your husband told to a woman to get down
on all fours and bark like a dog
McMahon: so what - people love dogs!
Amanpour: Dick how can you be losing this race?
Blumenthal: because don’t vote on the issues they vote for the person
Amanpour: you misled people about serving
in Vietnam
Blumenthal: true but I really did see ‘Platoon’ and ‘Apocalypse Now’
Amanpour: why should people vote for you?
Blumenthal: because professional wrestling is idiotic
Amanpour: and you Linda?
McMahon: because getting paid millions to
arrange for outrageously dressed muscular men in spandex to give each other consussions is the American dream
Amanpour: Talk austerity to me Christine
LaGarde: ve need to haf ze confidence
Amanpour: but economists say we need more stimulus
LaGarde: we did that in 2009 and unemployment is 9.3% which is tres bien
Amanpour: it seems like the poor are paying for the sins of the bankers
LaGarde: ve are taxing ze banks
Amanpour: can we prevent another worldwide financial meltdown?
LaGarde: ve don’t know because ze criminals
are tres agile
Amanpour: are markets run by crazy people?
LaGarde: ve must put zem in le straitjackets
Amanpour: will you raise the retirement age?
LaGarde: ess only 2 years
Amanpour: do women approach finance differently?
LaGarde: oui because eet is not all about le libido and making ze deal to have the sex
Amanpour: that sounds right
Amanpour: The U.S. apologized to Pakistan this week for bombing their country - whoops!!
Reporter: this leads to lack of support for the Pakistan government and hatred for the
United States
Audience: sounds great
Amanpour: the U.S. is accusing Pakistan of
not going after terrorists
Musharraf: oh no we are
Amanpour: then why is the U.S. bombing Pakistan?
Musharraf: hey we got our hands full - you don’t know what it’s like living in nation full of insane religious fanatics and people in politics with patently crazy anti-government ideas
Amanpour: I wouldn’t be to sure about that
Musharraf: we need to play “Let’s Make a Deal”
with the Taliban
Amanpour: not “Jeopardy”?
Amanpour: why are there so many terrorists in Pakistan?
Musharraf: hey get off our backs! Just leave
us alone!
Amanpour: Pakistanis don’t like the U.S.
Musharraf: well sure because the U.S. is bombing their country
Amanpour: are you going to run for President in 2013?
Musharraf: hey they could do worse than me -
and they have
Amanpour: but you’re in London
Musharraf: Yes I find for office in Pakistan from England cuts down on the assassination attempts
Amanpour: thanks for coming Pervez
Richard Blumenthal (D-CT Attorney General)
Linda McMahon (CEO WWE)
Christine LeGarde (French Finance Minister)
Pervez Musharraf (Former President of Pakistan)
***************************
Amanpour: Hi Bob Woodruff is reporting from a remote and strange place where journalists are never allowed access
Audience: the Christine O’Donnell headquarters?
Amanpour: Bob what did you see in North Korea?
Woodruff: we saw things we never saw before - we have a failed leader passing power
on to his idiot son
Amanpour: what do you know about the son
of the President
Woodruff: he speaks a little English and
enjoys sports
Amanpour: so he’s as qualified as Dubya
Amanpour: Connecticut has lost 100,000 jobs and has a shortage of gin & tonics so of course they have turned to a professional wrestling executive
Amanpour: you created 600 jobs based on oiled-up men wrestling each other on television -- so what federal spending would you cut?
McMahon: I would cut everything unpopular
Amanpour: would you cut defense Social Security
or Medicare and Medicaid?
McMahon: no
Amanpour: Linda your business was a degrading demeaning sexist violent steroid-ridden farce
McMahon: it used to be offensive but now it’s beefy men beating each other up geared toward children
Amanpour: your husband told to a woman to get down
on all fours and bark like a dog
McMahon: so what - people love dogs!
Amanpour: Dick how can you be losing this race?
Blumenthal: because don’t vote on the issues they vote for the person
Amanpour: you misled people about serving
in Vietnam
Blumenthal: true but I really did see ‘Platoon’ and ‘Apocalypse Now’
Amanpour: why should people vote for you?
Blumenthal: because professional wrestling is idiotic
Amanpour: and you Linda?
McMahon: because getting paid millions to
arrange for outrageously dressed muscular men in spandex to give each other consussions is the American dream
Amanpour: Talk austerity to me Christine
LaGarde: ve need to haf ze confidence
Amanpour: but economists say we need more stimulus
LaGarde: we did that in 2009 and unemployment is 9.3% which is tres bien
Amanpour: it seems like the poor are paying for the sins of the bankers
LaGarde: ve are taxing ze banks
Amanpour: can we prevent another worldwide financial meltdown?
LaGarde: ve don’t know because ze criminals
are tres agile
Amanpour: are markets run by crazy people?
LaGarde: ve must put zem in le straitjackets
Amanpour: will you raise the retirement age?
LaGarde: ess only 2 years
Amanpour: do women approach finance differently?
LaGarde: oui because eet is not all about le libido and making ze deal to have the sex
Amanpour: that sounds right
Amanpour: The U.S. apologized to Pakistan this week for bombing their country - whoops!!
Reporter: this leads to lack of support for the Pakistan government and hatred for the
United States
Audience: sounds great
Amanpour: the U.S. is accusing Pakistan of
not going after terrorists
Musharraf: oh no we are
Amanpour: then why is the U.S. bombing Pakistan?
Musharraf: hey we got our hands full - you don’t know what it’s like living in nation full of insane religious fanatics and people in politics with patently crazy anti-government ideas
Amanpour: I wouldn’t be to sure about that
Musharraf: we need to play “Let’s Make a Deal”
with the Taliban
Amanpour: not “Jeopardy”?
Amanpour: why are there so many terrorists in Pakistan?
Musharraf: hey get off our backs! Just leave
us alone!
Amanpour: Pakistanis don’t like the U.S.
Musharraf: well sure because the U.S. is bombing their country
Amanpour: are you going to run for President in 2013?
Musharraf: hey they could do worse than me -
and they have
Amanpour: but you’re in London
Musharraf: Yes I find for office in Pakistan from England cuts down on the assassination attempts
Amanpour: thanks for coming Pervez
Sunday, October 03, 2010
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - Debate on Islam - October 3, 2010
Guests:
Rev. Franklin Graham
Daisy Khan (Society for Muslim Advancement)
Peter Gadiel, (son killed on 9/11)
Donna O’Connor (daughter killed on 9/11)
Brad Garrett (ABC security expert)
Robert Spencer (Jihad Watch)
Osama Bahloul (Imam in Tennessee)
Azar Nafisi (author)
Reza Aslan (author)
Gary Bauer (activist)
Ayaan Hirsi Ali (activist)
Anjem Choudary (from London)
******************************
Amanpour: should Americans be terrified of Islam?
Gadiel: yes they’re very scary
O’Connor: we should fear all criminals be they muslims, professional athletes, investment bankers or members of Congress
Amanpour: Franklin G you say Islam is wicked
and evil
Graham: Muslims want to build mosques and convert people here and since I don’t have that freedom in muslim countries America should be
like them and take away freedom
Amanpour: I see
Graham: I love muslims - I just think they are satanic
Bahloul: the oldest Christian churches in the
world are in Egypt and Syria
Spencer: Muslims don’t respect women
which is terrible
Khan: there are muslims serving in the American armed forces and the NYPD
Nafisi: I fled Islam extremism in Iran - but I came to America seeking religious freedom not expecting more religious repression
Graham: well you chose wrong honey
Aslan: I must say I’m surprised to hear Graham say he wants to replicate Saudi law here in the
United States
Graham: look I was 8 years old when I first decided Islam was evil so I know what I’m talking about
- they burn churches!
Aslan: who is ‘they’ you idiotic bigot?
Nafisi: who is a real Christian - Sarah Palin,
Christine O’Donnell, Mel Gibson, the Pope?
Graham: oh sure single out the crazy ones
Amanpour: true
Graham: there are lots of wonderful muslims
Amanpour: then why do you say they are wicked
Graham: because Sharia law says you can beat your wife which Christians would never do
Khan: I quit a lucrative corporate career to
promote moderate Islam
Amanpour: that’s a hell of a choice
Khan: the terrorists didn’t just hijack a plane -
they hijacked a whole religion!
Choudary: let me just say that Islam has a solution for all of the problems that mankind faces
Amanpour: even 3-D movies?
Choudary: Allah condemns it!
Amanpour: what else?
Choudary: 9/11 was a reaction to US support for the Pirate state of Israel!
Amanpour: aye the torrrahhh
Choudary: I hate stereotyping - real Muslims must submit to the Creator!
Khan: I’m a real muslim too you twit
Choudary: hey Daisy you can’t be a vegetarian
and eat beef
Khan: hey dipshit who died and made you King of Islam?
Choudary: put on a burka baby
Graham: I like that dude
Choudary: let the flag of Islam fly over the
White House!
Graham: there you see what I mean - help help
I’m being repressed
O’Connnor: I’m no expert but it seems to me that there are good and bad people in all religions
Graham: they believe that Sharia should govern all the world which is a terrible attitude since we all know right-wing Christianity should rule America
Aslan: dudes get a room
Graham: young males come out of mosques and are all suicide bombers and they want to destroy America
Hirsi Ali: Islam has a political side and is
very very dangerous
Amanpour: should we be scared?
Garrett: terrorism is minor compared to real threats like Sharktopus or Michael Bay
Gadiel: I’m not saying Islam is evil - I’m just saying that we should be assume all Muslims are
secret terrorists who are planning to kill white Christian Americans
Amanpour: what about freedom?
Gadiel: How do we know Daisy Khan is not engaging in takia lying for the purpose of
furthering radical islam
Khan: this is shocking - I’m not a terrorist
Gadiel: why should I believe you?
Khan: you call me a murderer but you don’t know me or what takia even means
Gadiel: It means lying for the purpose of furthering your religion
Khan: why would I do that?
Gadiel: aren’t you instructed to do that?
Khan: no I’m not you moron
Gadiel: I just assumed - Christians do it all the time
Amanpour: are you saying she’s a terrorist?
Gadiel: no but I’m just saying we should drown her and if she floats she’s a witch
O’Connor: you ask for moderate muslims to step up and yet Daisy is moderate and you attack her
Khan: you make it hard for moderates when you call me an extremist and lump me in with Al Qaeda
Ali: you’re not a victim - you’re on tv
Khan: I’m not the one with a bodyguard Hirsi
Bauer: well she needs one and you don’t
Khan: oh I need one - I live in NYC
Bauer: New York City is a wonderful tolerant place which is why I despise it
Amanpour: right
Bauer: Muslims are inherently violent people
as we all know
Amanpour: so why not promote moderate muslims like those building a mosque near ground zero
Bauer: I like that mosque and believe that should be built anywhere in New York City -- except ground zero because that is where evil men worship death
Amanpour: enough about Dick Cheney
Bahloul: our mosque in Tennessee was vandalized and we’re peaceful people!
Bauer: so you claim
Amanpour: politicians are exploiting fear of Islam
Bauer: no Muslims are cheaply playing the
victim card
Amanpour: but does all the anti-muslim rhetoric
lead to violence?
Bauer: no because synagogues are being desecrated in Europe!
Spencer: Muslims are vandalizing their own mosques to make people feel sorry for them
- well we’re not going to fall for it ragheads!
Aslan: that asshole is crazy and a liar
Spencer: 80% of mosques are violent
Amanpour: where does this anti-Islam feeling
come from
Aslan: silly neo-nazis and bigots
Spencer: some guy somewhere a long time ago said something stupid therefore all muslims are bad
Amanpour: okay then
Amanpour: why are you opposed to a moderate community center in an old Burlington Coat factory in lower Manhattan
Gadiel: because radicals could take it over!
Amanpour: but is there any evidence that would happen?
Garrett: no
O’Connor: it’s not at Ground Zero and it’s not a mosque it’s a community center - but in any case this is supposed to be free country isn’t it?
Graham: this woman is throwing American values of freedom and liberty out at us - but we all know those are outdated
Khan: so now we have Muslims defending American freedom more than Franklin Graham!
Graham: they shouted Allah Akbar!
Amanpour: Daisy will you move the community center?
Khan: no because American values should prevail
Graham: harrumph!
Amanpour: and that’s the end of this
fascinating debate
Rev. Franklin Graham
Daisy Khan (Society for Muslim Advancement)
Peter Gadiel, (son killed on 9/11)
Donna O’Connor (daughter killed on 9/11)
Brad Garrett (ABC security expert)
Robert Spencer (Jihad Watch)
Osama Bahloul (Imam in Tennessee)
Azar Nafisi (author)
Reza Aslan (author)
Gary Bauer (activist)
Ayaan Hirsi Ali (activist)
Anjem Choudary (from London)
******************************
Amanpour: should Americans be terrified of Islam?
Gadiel: yes they’re very scary
O’Connor: we should fear all criminals be they muslims, professional athletes, investment bankers or members of Congress
Amanpour: Franklin G you say Islam is wicked
and evil
Graham: Muslims want to build mosques and convert people here and since I don’t have that freedom in muslim countries America should be
like them and take away freedom
Amanpour: I see
Graham: I love muslims - I just think they are satanic
Bahloul: the oldest Christian churches in the
world are in Egypt and Syria
Spencer: Muslims don’t respect women
which is terrible
Khan: there are muslims serving in the American armed forces and the NYPD
Nafisi: I fled Islam extremism in Iran - but I came to America seeking religious freedom not expecting more religious repression
Graham: well you chose wrong honey
Aslan: I must say I’m surprised to hear Graham say he wants to replicate Saudi law here in the
United States
Graham: look I was 8 years old when I first decided Islam was evil so I know what I’m talking about
- they burn churches!
Aslan: who is ‘they’ you idiotic bigot?
Nafisi: who is a real Christian - Sarah Palin,
Christine O’Donnell, Mel Gibson, the Pope?
Graham: oh sure single out the crazy ones
Amanpour: true
Graham: there are lots of wonderful muslims
Amanpour: then why do you say they are wicked
Graham: because Sharia law says you can beat your wife which Christians would never do
Khan: I quit a lucrative corporate career to
promote moderate Islam
Amanpour: that’s a hell of a choice
Khan: the terrorists didn’t just hijack a plane -
they hijacked a whole religion!
Choudary: let me just say that Islam has a solution for all of the problems that mankind faces
Amanpour: even 3-D movies?
Choudary: Allah condemns it!
Amanpour: what else?
Choudary: 9/11 was a reaction to US support for the Pirate state of Israel!
Amanpour: aye the torrrahhh
Choudary: I hate stereotyping - real Muslims must submit to the Creator!
Khan: I’m a real muslim too you twit
Choudary: hey Daisy you can’t be a vegetarian
and eat beef
Khan: hey dipshit who died and made you King of Islam?
Choudary: put on a burka baby
Graham: I like that dude
Choudary: let the flag of Islam fly over the
White House!
Graham: there you see what I mean - help help
I’m being repressed
O’Connnor: I’m no expert but it seems to me that there are good and bad people in all religions
Graham: they believe that Sharia should govern all the world which is a terrible attitude since we all know right-wing Christianity should rule America
Aslan: dudes get a room
Graham: young males come out of mosques and are all suicide bombers and they want to destroy America
Hirsi Ali: Islam has a political side and is
very very dangerous
Amanpour: should we be scared?
Garrett: terrorism is minor compared to real threats like Sharktopus or Michael Bay
Gadiel: I’m not saying Islam is evil - I’m just saying that we should be assume all Muslims are
secret terrorists who are planning to kill white Christian Americans
Amanpour: what about freedom?
Gadiel: How do we know Daisy Khan is not engaging in takia lying for the purpose of
furthering radical islam
Khan: this is shocking - I’m not a terrorist
Gadiel: why should I believe you?
Khan: you call me a murderer but you don’t know me or what takia even means
Gadiel: It means lying for the purpose of furthering your religion
Khan: why would I do that?
Gadiel: aren’t you instructed to do that?
Khan: no I’m not you moron
Gadiel: I just assumed - Christians do it all the time
Amanpour: are you saying she’s a terrorist?
Gadiel: no but I’m just saying we should drown her and if she floats she’s a witch
O’Connor: you ask for moderate muslims to step up and yet Daisy is moderate and you attack her
Khan: you make it hard for moderates when you call me an extremist and lump me in with Al Qaeda
Ali: you’re not a victim - you’re on tv
Khan: I’m not the one with a bodyguard Hirsi
Bauer: well she needs one and you don’t
Khan: oh I need one - I live in NYC
Bauer: New York City is a wonderful tolerant place which is why I despise it
Amanpour: right
Bauer: Muslims are inherently violent people
as we all know
Amanpour: so why not promote moderate muslims like those building a mosque near ground zero
Bauer: I like that mosque and believe that should be built anywhere in New York City -- except ground zero because that is where evil men worship death
Amanpour: enough about Dick Cheney
Bahloul: our mosque in Tennessee was vandalized and we’re peaceful people!
Bauer: so you claim
Amanpour: politicians are exploiting fear of Islam
Bauer: no Muslims are cheaply playing the
victim card
Amanpour: but does all the anti-muslim rhetoric
lead to violence?
Bauer: no because synagogues are being desecrated in Europe!
Spencer: Muslims are vandalizing their own mosques to make people feel sorry for them
- well we’re not going to fall for it ragheads!
Aslan: that asshole is crazy and a liar
Spencer: 80% of mosques are violent
Amanpour: where does this anti-Islam feeling
come from
Aslan: silly neo-nazis and bigots
Spencer: some guy somewhere a long time ago said something stupid therefore all muslims are bad
Amanpour: okay then
Amanpour: why are you opposed to a moderate community center in an old Burlington Coat factory in lower Manhattan
Gadiel: because radicals could take it over!
Amanpour: but is there any evidence that would happen?
Garrett: no
O’Connor: it’s not at Ground Zero and it’s not a mosque it’s a community center - but in any case this is supposed to be free country isn’t it?
Graham: this woman is throwing American values of freedom and liberty out at us - but we all know those are outdated
Khan: so now we have Muslims defending American freedom more than Franklin Graham!
Graham: they shouted Allah Akbar!
Amanpour: Daisy will you move the community center?
Khan: no because American values should prevail
Graham: harrumph!
Amanpour: and that’s the end of this
fascinating debate
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Meet The Press - September 26, 2010
Guests:
Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD)
Rep. Mike Pence (R-NV)
Arne Duncan (Sec. of Education)
Randi Weingarten (American Fed. Of Teachers)
Michelle Rhee (Chancellor DC Schools)
Robert Bobb (Manager Detroit schools)
*********************************
Gregory: are you going to vote on taxes before the election - after all that’s a good way for people to judge whether they like what you’re doing -
to you know do something
Van Hollen: the GOP is holding tax cuts for the middle class hostage so they can give their rich friends a trillion dollars
Pence: there should be no higher taxes on anybody!
Gregory: I like it
Pence: the rich are the job creators - the peons should be grateful for the crumbs they get!
Gregory: you claim to care about the debt -
so how do you pay for tax cuts
Pence: fuck the debt - we need to cut taxes for billionaires now!
Van Hollen: we cut taxes for the rich 10 years ago and it ruined the economy
Gregory: [ sobs ]
Van Hollen: how the fuck does Price Waterhouse qualify as a small business??
Pence: he’s right about the Bush tax cuts causing a recession -- because they didn’t cut taxes enough!
Gregory: are you serious?
Pence: we can save 100 billion this year by cutting spending for Fannie Mae and TARP
Van Hollen: we tried to cut taxes for small business and the GOP said no
Pence: oh that was a long time ago
Van Hollen: it was last Thursday!
Gregory: Jon Stewart pointed out Republicans have no new ideas
Pence: we have brand new idea like ending bailouts for Wall Street
Gregory: Republicans are the ones who bailed
out Wall Street!
Pence: I know - but that was before
Gregory: TARP was temporary program put in by a Republican President - it’s like Al Gore running against blowjobs
Pence: that’s makes it new - in 2010 the GOP
pledges to undo what the GOP did in 2008!
Van Hollen: that’s fucking hilarious
Gregory: what’s ironic is Bush’s TARP probably saved the America financial system
Pence: we don’t want to talk about GOP failures of the past 25 years - this time we really really mean we’re going to be responsible with your money
Gregory: what painful choices are you prepared
to make?
Pence: eliminate Social Security for anybody
under 40
Gregory: it seems the Republicans have bad ideas but Democrats have no ideas
Van Hollen: not at all - we have exciting proposals like cracking down on weak Chinese currency
Gregory: man the barricades!
Pence: we’re going to end earmaking as we know it
Van Hollen: we’re going to end outsourcing as we know it
Gregory: you both present a compelling case
for not voting
[ break ]
Gregory: welcome back - the whole county is talking about the movie “Waiting For Superman” which points out what people already know which is that American schools suck
Duncan: we spent the last 25 years ignoring problems in schools
Gregory: so like every other aspect of American life
Duncan: we’re reforming education by raising standards and creating charter schools which suck in new and innovative ways
Rhee: we’ve so much progress I’m about to
lose my job
Bobb: Although we didn’t win Obama’s school money lottery we’re doing really well in Michigan
Gregory: Bush deserves credit for inventing the idea of accountability
Audience: for everyone except him
Weingarten: testing is fine but the goal should be teaching and learning not just handing out tests
Gregory: Michelle you’re a wonderful person for firing teachers and closing schools and yet no one loves you
Rhee: we only fired the bad teachers
Gregory: Randi how could you sue Michelle -
she’s so adorable
Weingarten: we want teachers to have the tools to teach kids and reward the good teachers
Rhee: we identified highly effective teachers and we’re going to double their salary to above the poverty line
Gregory: that sounds great - Arne why didn’t you campaign for Mayor Fenty and Michelle Rhee since they are such heroes for standing up to unions?
Duncan: are kidding - that guy is fucking toxic
Gregory: see that’s the problem - how can you and I beat the unions with that attitude
Bobb: damm right Fluffy - I get sued every damm day
Gregory: why?
Bobb: I closed 59 schools
Gregory: yikes
[ break ]
Gregory: how can we really get good teachers in the classroom like Mr. Kotter - he was awesome
Weingarten: look there is a learning curve
Gregory: I’m talking about horrible bad teachers which apparently are everywhere like Dolores Umbridge she's scary
Weingarten: it’s starting to happen for the first time
Rhee: hey we tried to fire the truly bad teachers and we got slapped down - stop fighting us with
the bad teachers!
Gregory: this is the whole thing! All we need are good teachers and America will turn around
Rhee: right!
Gregory: But Bob Bobb how can we crush the unions with getting the unions all mad at us and
end up with horse’s heads in our beds?
Bobb: teacher evaluations systems with trap doors if they go below a threshold
Duncan: we need to have the courage to stand
up to unions
Weingarten: instead of only firing teachers maybe we should try to develop good teachers
Gregory: Colorado has the death penalty for bad teachers - do you support that Randi?
Weingarten: we support fair evaluations Fluffy
Gregory: is Mark Zuckerberg Superman?
Duncan: he’s awesome
Gregory: I’m just an idiot with a bad tv show-
Duncan: that’s very true
Gregory: but what can I do?
Rhee: call your local politician and demand
he hire me
Gregory: if you’re driving by a local school and don’t have kids just walk right in
Duncan: actually we don’t encourage strange men to wander around elementary schools Fluffy
Gregory: what nonsense I’m sure they’d love it
**************************************
Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD)
Rep. Mike Pence (R-NV)
Arne Duncan (Sec. of Education)
Randi Weingarten (American Fed. Of Teachers)
Michelle Rhee (Chancellor DC Schools)
Robert Bobb (Manager Detroit schools)
*********************************
Gregory: are you going to vote on taxes before the election - after all that’s a good way for people to judge whether they like what you’re doing -
to you know do something
Van Hollen: the GOP is holding tax cuts for the middle class hostage so they can give their rich friends a trillion dollars
Pence: there should be no higher taxes on anybody!
Gregory: I like it
Pence: the rich are the job creators - the peons should be grateful for the crumbs they get!
Gregory: you claim to care about the debt -
so how do you pay for tax cuts
Pence: fuck the debt - we need to cut taxes for billionaires now!
Van Hollen: we cut taxes for the rich 10 years ago and it ruined the economy
Gregory: [ sobs ]
Van Hollen: how the fuck does Price Waterhouse qualify as a small business??
Pence: he’s right about the Bush tax cuts causing a recession -- because they didn’t cut taxes enough!
Gregory: are you serious?
Pence: we can save 100 billion this year by cutting spending for Fannie Mae and TARP
Van Hollen: we tried to cut taxes for small business and the GOP said no
Pence: oh that was a long time ago
Van Hollen: it was last Thursday!
Gregory: Jon Stewart pointed out Republicans have no new ideas
Pence: we have brand new idea like ending bailouts for Wall Street
Gregory: Republicans are the ones who bailed
out Wall Street!
Pence: I know - but that was before
Gregory: TARP was temporary program put in by a Republican President - it’s like Al Gore running against blowjobs
Pence: that’s makes it new - in 2010 the GOP
pledges to undo what the GOP did in 2008!
Van Hollen: that’s fucking hilarious
Gregory: what’s ironic is Bush’s TARP probably saved the America financial system
Pence: we don’t want to talk about GOP failures of the past 25 years - this time we really really mean we’re going to be responsible with your money
Gregory: what painful choices are you prepared
to make?
Pence: eliminate Social Security for anybody
under 40
Gregory: it seems the Republicans have bad ideas but Democrats have no ideas
Van Hollen: not at all - we have exciting proposals like cracking down on weak Chinese currency
Gregory: man the barricades!
Pence: we’re going to end earmaking as we know it
Van Hollen: we’re going to end outsourcing as we know it
Gregory: you both present a compelling case
for not voting
[ break ]
Gregory: welcome back - the whole county is talking about the movie “Waiting For Superman” which points out what people already know which is that American schools suck
Duncan: we spent the last 25 years ignoring problems in schools
Gregory: so like every other aspect of American life
Duncan: we’re reforming education by raising standards and creating charter schools which suck in new and innovative ways
Rhee: we’ve so much progress I’m about to
lose my job
Bobb: Although we didn’t win Obama’s school money lottery we’re doing really well in Michigan
Gregory: Bush deserves credit for inventing the idea of accountability
Audience: for everyone except him
Weingarten: testing is fine but the goal should be teaching and learning not just handing out tests
Gregory: Michelle you’re a wonderful person for firing teachers and closing schools and yet no one loves you
Rhee: we only fired the bad teachers
Gregory: Randi how could you sue Michelle -
she’s so adorable
Weingarten: we want teachers to have the tools to teach kids and reward the good teachers
Rhee: we identified highly effective teachers and we’re going to double their salary to above the poverty line
Gregory: that sounds great - Arne why didn’t you campaign for Mayor Fenty and Michelle Rhee since they are such heroes for standing up to unions?
Duncan: are kidding - that guy is fucking toxic
Gregory: see that’s the problem - how can you and I beat the unions with that attitude
Bobb: damm right Fluffy - I get sued every damm day
Gregory: why?
Bobb: I closed 59 schools
Gregory: yikes
[ break ]
Gregory: how can we really get good teachers in the classroom like Mr. Kotter - he was awesome
Weingarten: look there is a learning curve
Gregory: I’m talking about horrible bad teachers which apparently are everywhere like Dolores Umbridge she's scary
Weingarten: it’s starting to happen for the first time
Rhee: hey we tried to fire the truly bad teachers and we got slapped down - stop fighting us with
the bad teachers!
Gregory: this is the whole thing! All we need are good teachers and America will turn around
Rhee: right!
Gregory: But Bob Bobb how can we crush the unions with getting the unions all mad at us and
end up with horse’s heads in our beds?
Bobb: teacher evaluations systems with trap doors if they go below a threshold
Duncan: we need to have the courage to stand
up to unions
Weingarten: instead of only firing teachers maybe we should try to develop good teachers
Gregory: Colorado has the death penalty for bad teachers - do you support that Randi?
Weingarten: we support fair evaluations Fluffy
Gregory: is Mark Zuckerberg Superman?
Duncan: he’s awesome
Gregory: I’m just an idiot with a bad tv show-
Duncan: that’s very true
Gregory: but what can I do?
Rhee: call your local politician and demand
he hire me
Gregory: if you’re driving by a local school and don’t have kids just walk right in
Duncan: actually we don’t encourage strange men to wander around elementary schools Fluffy
Gregory: what nonsense I’m sure they’d love it
**************************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - September 26, 2010
Guests:
David Axelrod - Presidential advisor
Sen. Mitch McConnell - (R-KY)
*************************************
Amanpour: can you keep Middle East peace
on track?
Axelrod: we’re going to urge them to keep trying
Amanpour: that doesn’t sound too promising
Axelrod: hey it’s Israel and Palestine you trying getting those lunkheads to agree on anything
Amanpour: could there be a war?
Axelrod: you never know Christiane
Amanpour: everyone is talking about this famous woman who said she is exhausted of defending Obama and is not happy
Axelrod: well she’s right - the middle class got hammered all through the last 10 years and it
ended with a Great Recession
Amanpour: why do people seem to dislike Obama
Axelrod: Because we’re still in a really bad economy - I mean really fucking bad
Amanpour: Bill Clinton says Obama should ask for
two more years and them admit failure
Axelrod: well he’s right that electing the GOP would finally push America off the edge
Amanpour: for the love of god why did Congress put off cutting taxes before the election - are you stupid or insane?
Axelrod: those mean Republicans are holding Obama hostage
Amanpour: that’s quite a metaphor
Axelrod: no he’s actually being held hostage - they’ve asked for piazzas and a negotiating team
Amanpour: If you can’t get it done now how can it be done after you lose the election
Axelrod: we’re playing chicken with Mitch McConnell and we like our odds
Amanpour: Gen. Petraeus called you a ‘spin doctor’
Axelrod: I was in the that band in 1993 and wrote “Two Princes”
Amanpour: oh I didn’t know that
Axelrod: [ plays air guitar ]
Amanpour: Is Rahm finally getting the fuck out?
Axelrod: yeah thank god
[ break ]
Amanpour: Greetings crazy man are you really going to borrow more money just give it to billionaires?
McConnell: you can’t raise taxes in a recession!
Amanpour: will you hold the middle taxes hostage
to that nutty idea
McConnell: Chris it’s not me - it’s Blue Dogs who won’t even let a bill come to the floor
Amanpour: if you do that if you ever want to cut the debt you would have eliminate all of government
McConnell: cut taxes for the rich and the economy will explode
Amanpour: but that’s not about what you would cut
McConnell: well the Catfood Commission may give us permission to cut Social Security
Amanpour: Erik Erikson hates your Pledge to America
McConnell: [ laughs ]
Amanpour: why are you laughing?
McConnell: he’s an damn idiot
Amanpour: but can you satisfy the Tea Party?
McConnell: The Democrats have been in charge of the government for a year and half and we know that all the Tea Partiers will vote Republican
Amanpour: But the Tea Partiers claim to hate both parties equally
McConnell: [ snorts ]
Amanpour: you nominated a lunatic for the Senate
in Delaware
McConnell: she’s an adorable little freak
Amanpour: how is she qualified?
McConnell: she won a primary and that’s enough
Amanpour: Sharron Angle thinks we need an armed rebellion - isn’t that bizarre?
McConnell: no what is freaky and bizarre is aiding auto companies and fixing student loans
Amanpour: oh I see - you’re as crazy as she is
McConnell: I never dabbled in witchcraft although I was loyal servant to Lord Voldemort
Amanpour: but if these people are elected our country will go to hell
McConnell: no Obama will still be there thankfully
Amanpour: of course
[ break ]
Amanpour: Queen tell me about Middle East peace
Raina: I’m not saying that the middle east is all rainbows and gumdrops but the explosive situation with the Palestinians and Israel sure doesn’t damn well help
Amanpour: I hear you your majesty
Raina: both sides need hope and change
Amanpour: uh oh
Raina: look people may not like Obama but he’s miles better than Chicken Caesar
Amanpour: what about the 9/11 mosque
Raina: those are the good muslims
Amanpour: do you worry that people think Osama bin Laden represents all muslims?
Raina: right it’s crazy - people around the world think of America as a beacon of freedom - or we used to
Amanpour: But why do people think muslims
are violent
Raina: We need to do a better job showing there are bad ones as well as happy peaceful muslims just like with other religions whether it’s Christianity, Judaism, Catholicism or The Force
Amanpour: Anakin doesn’t represent all Jedi
Raina: Exactly
Amanpour: Does Islam disempower women?
Raina: Yes - women are graduating from university but they can’t get jobs because of thick-headed men - although that’s not Islam it’s just assholes
Amanpour: oh yeah we those everywhere
[ high fives Raina ]
David Axelrod - Presidential advisor
Sen. Mitch McConnell - (R-KY)
*************************************
Amanpour: can you keep Middle East peace
on track?
Axelrod: we’re going to urge them to keep trying
Amanpour: that doesn’t sound too promising
Axelrod: hey it’s Israel and Palestine you trying getting those lunkheads to agree on anything
Amanpour: could there be a war?
Axelrod: you never know Christiane
Amanpour: everyone is talking about this famous woman who said she is exhausted of defending Obama and is not happy
Axelrod: well she’s right - the middle class got hammered all through the last 10 years and it
ended with a Great Recession
Amanpour: why do people seem to dislike Obama
Axelrod: Because we’re still in a really bad economy - I mean really fucking bad
Amanpour: Bill Clinton says Obama should ask for
two more years and them admit failure
Axelrod: well he’s right that electing the GOP would finally push America off the edge
Amanpour: for the love of god why did Congress put off cutting taxes before the election - are you stupid or insane?
Axelrod: those mean Republicans are holding Obama hostage
Amanpour: that’s quite a metaphor
Axelrod: no he’s actually being held hostage - they’ve asked for piazzas and a negotiating team
Amanpour: If you can’t get it done now how can it be done after you lose the election
Axelrod: we’re playing chicken with Mitch McConnell and we like our odds
Amanpour: Gen. Petraeus called you a ‘spin doctor’
Axelrod: I was in the that band in 1993 and wrote “Two Princes”
Amanpour: oh I didn’t know that
Axelrod: [ plays air guitar ]
Amanpour: Is Rahm finally getting the fuck out?
Axelrod: yeah thank god
[ break ]
Amanpour: Greetings crazy man are you really going to borrow more money just give it to billionaires?
McConnell: you can’t raise taxes in a recession!
Amanpour: will you hold the middle taxes hostage
to that nutty idea
McConnell: Chris it’s not me - it’s Blue Dogs who won’t even let a bill come to the floor
Amanpour: if you do that if you ever want to cut the debt you would have eliminate all of government
McConnell: cut taxes for the rich and the economy will explode
Amanpour: but that’s not about what you would cut
McConnell: well the Catfood Commission may give us permission to cut Social Security
Amanpour: Erik Erikson hates your Pledge to America
McConnell: [ laughs ]
Amanpour: why are you laughing?
McConnell: he’s an damn idiot
Amanpour: but can you satisfy the Tea Party?
McConnell: The Democrats have been in charge of the government for a year and half and we know that all the Tea Partiers will vote Republican
Amanpour: But the Tea Partiers claim to hate both parties equally
McConnell: [ snorts ]
Amanpour: you nominated a lunatic for the Senate
in Delaware
McConnell: she’s an adorable little freak
Amanpour: how is she qualified?
McConnell: she won a primary and that’s enough
Amanpour: Sharron Angle thinks we need an armed rebellion - isn’t that bizarre?
McConnell: no what is freaky and bizarre is aiding auto companies and fixing student loans
Amanpour: oh I see - you’re as crazy as she is
McConnell: I never dabbled in witchcraft although I was loyal servant to Lord Voldemort
Amanpour: but if these people are elected our country will go to hell
McConnell: no Obama will still be there thankfully
Amanpour: of course
[ break ]
Amanpour: Queen tell me about Middle East peace
Raina: I’m not saying that the middle east is all rainbows and gumdrops but the explosive situation with the Palestinians and Israel sure doesn’t damn well help
Amanpour: I hear you your majesty
Raina: both sides need hope and change
Amanpour: uh oh
Raina: look people may not like Obama but he’s miles better than Chicken Caesar
Amanpour: what about the 9/11 mosque
Raina: those are the good muslims
Amanpour: do you worry that people think Osama bin Laden represents all muslims?
Raina: right it’s crazy - people around the world think of America as a beacon of freedom - or we used to
Amanpour: But why do people think muslims
are violent
Raina: We need to do a better job showing there are bad ones as well as happy peaceful muslims just like with other religions whether it’s Christianity, Judaism, Catholicism or The Force
Amanpour: Anakin doesn’t represent all Jedi
Raina: Exactly
Amanpour: Does Islam disempower women?
Raina: Yes - women are graduating from university but they can’t get jobs because of thick-headed men - although that’s not Islam it’s just assholes
Amanpour: oh yeah we those everywhere
[ high fives Raina ]
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Meet The Press - September 19, 2010
Guests:
Colin Powell
Bill Clinton
**************
Gregory: Colin has Republican party gone completely insane?
Powell: It’s a fascinating group of angry people but I think they need more than slogans like ‘Taxpayers are Jews for Obama’s Ovens’
Gregory: Mike Bloomerg says they are fad like hula hoops, pet rocks or suspending habeus corpus
Powell: but they might have bizarre staying power - they could be the Rubik’s Cube of politics
Gregory: no one can figure either one out
Powell: right
Gregory: Rush Limbaugh says you are not hate-filled or crazy enough
Powell: I don’t care what that obese drug addict
has to say
Gregory: but no one in the GOP likes you
Powell: jesus fuck if the GOP has any future we
can’t be anti-immigration
Gregory: but you’re biased - you're Jamaican
Powell: we’re going to be a brown nation in
a few years
Gregory: Mitt Romney says we need to crack Mexican skulls
Powell: criminy immigrants come here to
do hard work
Gregory: and behead our men and defile
our white women
Powell: I’m telling my fellow republicans to get with the program and stop acting stupid
Gregory: have you thought about leaving the party?
Powell: no why should I?
Gregory: because they’ve gone completely insane
Powell: true - but we need two parties to slow down the Biden juggunaut
Gregory: It’s Palin’s party now
Powell: it’s fine to criticize the President but try to use your brain once in a while
Gregory: Gingrich says Obama is a Marxist
Kenyan con man
Powell: this is all bullshit nonsense and it makes Republicans look racist and stupid
Gregory: why is this happening?
Powell: because you report on it and does appeal to the fringe elements of the party
Gregory: Like the recent Vice President nominee
Powell: it might be good for the GOP and Obama if Republicans took the House
Gregory: why?
Powell: it would force them to take responsibility and make Obama focus on employment
Gregory: what more should Obama do to reach out to Republicans?
Powell: He could not be black
Gregory: You totally fucked up in Afghanistan
Powell: true but Obama may pull our chestnuts out of that fire
Gregory: lucky you
Powell: but the Karzai government is corrupt
Gregory: oh now you figure that out
Gregory: should we attack Iran?
Powell: no we should contain them with rigid
IAEA inspections
Gregory: gee we could have tried that in Iraq
Gregory: will you endorse Obama in 2012?
Powell: well the GOP crashed the economy and
I thought Obama would prevent a Depression and he did
Gregory: but he has not transformed America
or given me a unicorn
Powell: give him time - he enacted an pretty transformational health care plan-
Gregory: -but no rainbows or lollipops
Powell: so the GOP treats him like a dog - how do you think I feel? Suck it up!!
[ break ]
Gregory: Bill what do you make of the Tea Party?
Clinton: some of them are legitimately angry and have good instincts - they think the wealthy and powerful benefit by causing economic problems
and they’re right
Gregory: interesting
Clinton: but the question is what we are going to do about it - I heard one guy thinks unemployment compensation is unconstitutional
Gregory: what do you think of Christine O’Donnell?
Clinton: She’s hot
Gregory: what about her ideas?
Clinton: if tea partiers are against financial elites are they in favor of the Wall Street reform bill or against it - we don’t know
Gregory: Newt Gingrich says Obama is a secret anti-colonialist spy who will give America away to the Kenya Mau Mau Empire
Clinton: he also said when Susan Smith drowned her children it was my fault
Gregory: he does have a way with words
Gregory: what’s up with the Clinton Global Initiative?
Clinton: we get every attendee to make a commitment to women - I certainly will
Gregory: what about poverty here in America?
Clinton: Fluffy for the first time in my lifetime there are job openings not being filled because people are trapped in the underwater homes and are not trained to do the jobs
Gregory: it seems like Haiti is real basket case
Clinton: one third of the country was wrecked and it wasn’t exactly Monaco to begin with
Gregory: fair point
Clinton: and they’re having an election in the aftermath an earthquake which is not easy
Gregory: speaking of that what about our
2010 election?
Clinton: the problem is that Democrats didn’t solve all the problems the Republicans created
Gregory: I noticed that
Clinton: It took 8 years to create the devastation we are living in now
Gregory: well you’ve had 21 months and you
failed so you suck
Clinton: Bring it On Fluffy
Gregory: why is the health care bill so unpopular
Clinton: we give a trillion dollars to insurance companies every year and they spend part of that on propaganda and lies
Gregory: you make the case better than Obama does
Clinton: I am the Big Dog
Gregory: so what’s the solution?
Clinton: shake the voters out of their apathy and tell people the Republicans are bad for America
Gregory: are you too thin?
Clinton: ha - I am too thin, too rich, too popular and just too damm awesome!
Gregory: Thanks Bill - and now a look back at
Edwin Newman and when real journalists hosted Meet The Press
Audience: [ sobs ]
****************************
Colin Powell
Bill Clinton
**************
Gregory: Colin has Republican party gone completely insane?
Powell: It’s a fascinating group of angry people but I think they need more than slogans like ‘Taxpayers are Jews for Obama’s Ovens’
Gregory: Mike Bloomerg says they are fad like hula hoops, pet rocks or suspending habeus corpus
Powell: but they might have bizarre staying power - they could be the Rubik’s Cube of politics
Gregory: no one can figure either one out
Powell: right
Gregory: Rush Limbaugh says you are not hate-filled or crazy enough
Powell: I don’t care what that obese drug addict
has to say
Gregory: but no one in the GOP likes you
Powell: jesus fuck if the GOP has any future we
can’t be anti-immigration
Gregory: but you’re biased - you're Jamaican
Powell: we’re going to be a brown nation in
a few years
Gregory: Mitt Romney says we need to crack Mexican skulls
Powell: criminy immigrants come here to
do hard work
Gregory: and behead our men and defile
our white women
Powell: I’m telling my fellow republicans to get with the program and stop acting stupid
Gregory: have you thought about leaving the party?
Powell: no why should I?
Gregory: because they’ve gone completely insane
Powell: true - but we need two parties to slow down the Biden juggunaut
Gregory: It’s Palin’s party now
Powell: it’s fine to criticize the President but try to use your brain once in a while
Gregory: Gingrich says Obama is a Marxist
Kenyan con man
Powell: this is all bullshit nonsense and it makes Republicans look racist and stupid
Gregory: why is this happening?
Powell: because you report on it and does appeal to the fringe elements of the party
Gregory: Like the recent Vice President nominee
Powell: it might be good for the GOP and Obama if Republicans took the House
Gregory: why?
Powell: it would force them to take responsibility and make Obama focus on employment
Gregory: what more should Obama do to reach out to Republicans?
Powell: He could not be black
Gregory: You totally fucked up in Afghanistan
Powell: true but Obama may pull our chestnuts out of that fire
Gregory: lucky you
Powell: but the Karzai government is corrupt
Gregory: oh now you figure that out
Gregory: should we attack Iran?
Powell: no we should contain them with rigid
IAEA inspections
Gregory: gee we could have tried that in Iraq
Gregory: will you endorse Obama in 2012?
Powell: well the GOP crashed the economy and
I thought Obama would prevent a Depression and he did
Gregory: but he has not transformed America
or given me a unicorn
Powell: give him time - he enacted an pretty transformational health care plan-
Gregory: -but no rainbows or lollipops
Powell: so the GOP treats him like a dog - how do you think I feel? Suck it up!!
[ break ]
Gregory: Bill what do you make of the Tea Party?
Clinton: some of them are legitimately angry and have good instincts - they think the wealthy and powerful benefit by causing economic problems
and they’re right
Gregory: interesting
Clinton: but the question is what we are going to do about it - I heard one guy thinks unemployment compensation is unconstitutional
Gregory: what do you think of Christine O’Donnell?
Clinton: She’s hot
Gregory: what about her ideas?
Clinton: if tea partiers are against financial elites are they in favor of the Wall Street reform bill or against it - we don’t know
Gregory: Newt Gingrich says Obama is a secret anti-colonialist spy who will give America away to the Kenya Mau Mau Empire
Clinton: he also said when Susan Smith drowned her children it was my fault
Gregory: he does have a way with words
Gregory: what’s up with the Clinton Global Initiative?
Clinton: we get every attendee to make a commitment to women - I certainly will
Gregory: what about poverty here in America?
Clinton: Fluffy for the first time in my lifetime there are job openings not being filled because people are trapped in the underwater homes and are not trained to do the jobs
Gregory: it seems like Haiti is real basket case
Clinton: one third of the country was wrecked and it wasn’t exactly Monaco to begin with
Gregory: fair point
Clinton: and they’re having an election in the aftermath an earthquake which is not easy
Gregory: speaking of that what about our
2010 election?
Clinton: the problem is that Democrats didn’t solve all the problems the Republicans created
Gregory: I noticed that
Clinton: It took 8 years to create the devastation we are living in now
Gregory: well you’ve had 21 months and you
failed so you suck
Clinton: Bring it On Fluffy
Gregory: why is the health care bill so unpopular
Clinton: we give a trillion dollars to insurance companies every year and they spend part of that on propaganda and lies
Gregory: you make the case better than Obama does
Clinton: I am the Big Dog
Gregory: so what’s the solution?
Clinton: shake the voters out of their apathy and tell people the Republicans are bad for America
Gregory: are you too thin?
Clinton: ha - I am too thin, too rich, too popular and just too damm awesome!
Gregory: Thanks Bill - and now a look back at
Edwin Newman and when real journalists hosted Meet The Press
Audience: [ sobs ]
****************************
This Week - September 19, 2010
Guests:
Hillary Clinton - U.S. Secretary of State
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - President of Iran
**********************************
Amanpour: Hillary Bibi and Abbas are stubborn - can you make peace in the Middle East ?
Clinton: I’ve dealt with men acting like
jackasses before
Amanpour: what about the settlements?
Clinton: We’re leaning on Bibi
Amanpour: what are you doing
Clinton: we threatened to send Joe Biden to Israel
Amanpour: who is making the biggest leap of heart?
Clinton: Israel is threatened by Iran and the Palestinians are threatened by Israel so it
all works out
Amanpour: are you going to get Abbas on board?
Clinton: sure Obama called him and offered him a luxury box to all games at the new
Giants/Jets stadium
Amanpour: you’ll start a war
Amanpour: what about Lieberman?
Clinton: he’s a touchy lunatic with too
much power in the Senate
Amanpour: I meant Avigdor
Clinton: Oh him too
Amanpour: Is Iran going to build a nuke?
Clinton: they’re very scary
Amanpour: are they morphing into a dictatorship?
Clinton: that was the worst election since the
Florida Brooks Brothers Riot
Amanpour: what about human rights in Iran?
Clinton: when Obama came into office he extended his hand to the religious zealots and political
crazies and it’s clear they are not interested in rational dialogue
Amanpour: we’ll get to the Republicans later
Amanpour: progressives still aren’t sure Obama is on their side since you send so many mixed signals
Clinton: are we talking about the U.S. or Iran?
Amanpour: either one
Amanpour: Ahmadinejad says the sanctions are
as worthless as a used hankie
Clinton: the sanctions are like him - they’re a tool
[ break ]
Amanpour: you released one hiker but what about the others
Ahmadinejad what about all Iranians held by
the U.S. government
Amanpour: are you saying the hikers are only hostages?
Ahmadinejad: I prefer the term bargaining chips
Amanpour: their mothers are very upset
Ahmadinejad so is mine
Amanpour: how is your nuclear bomb going?
Ahmadinejad: we’ve got cameras everywhere
- our nuclear program is like a reality tv show
Amanpour: “The Real Leaders of Iran?”
Ahmadinejad: “Iran’s Got Nukes”
Amanpour: So You Think Can Fool the IAEA
Ahmadinejad: the IAEA is controlled by the U.S.
Amanpour: um yeah ok
Ahmadinejad: we take the sanctions seriously
but they are a joke
Amanpour: right
Ahmadinejad: those harsh sanctions will create
a new era of growth in our economy!
Amanpour: that’s not what I heard Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad: in six months we’ll turn it around
Amanpour: oh my god - a Friedman Unit
Amanpour: you’re going to stone someone to death - that’s fucking crazy
Ahmadinejad: well it’s just one woman what’s
the big deal
Amanpour: now you see why people don’t trust you with nuclear bombs
Ahmadinejad: she was never going to be stoned - it’s all made-up propaganda
Amanpour: is that so
Ahmadinejad: it’s the fault of the United States they’re always saying mean things about us
Amanpour: executions are up 400 percent
Ahmadinejad: I’m making a fascist omlette so I gotta crack a few eggs Christiane
Amanpour: are you going to prosecute your
political opponents
Ahmadinejad: no no those are all independent judges
Amanpour: you are an amazing liar
Ahmadinejad: thanks very much
Amanpour: Fidel Castro called you an anti-semitic whacko
Ahmadinejad: I defer to his big beard
Amanpour: why is Iran becoming so militarized?
Ahmadinejad: you mean like Iraq and Afghanistan?
Amanpour: Will you engage in talks with the U.S. government?
Ahmadinejad I friended Obama on Facebook but did he write back? No!
Amanpour: I’m sorry to hear that
Ahmadinejad : he won’t even follow me on twitter!
Amanpour: I’ll follow you mahmoud
Ahmadinejad: thnx chris ill follow U 2 LOL :)
***********************
Hillary Clinton - U.S. Secretary of State
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - President of Iran
**********************************
Amanpour: Hillary Bibi and Abbas are stubborn - can you make peace in the Middle East ?
Clinton: I’ve dealt with men acting like
jackasses before
Amanpour: what about the settlements?
Clinton: We’re leaning on Bibi
Amanpour: what are you doing
Clinton: we threatened to send Joe Biden to Israel
Amanpour: who is making the biggest leap of heart?
Clinton: Israel is threatened by Iran and the Palestinians are threatened by Israel so it
all works out
Amanpour: are you going to get Abbas on board?
Clinton: sure Obama called him and offered him a luxury box to all games at the new
Giants/Jets stadium
Amanpour: you’ll start a war
Amanpour: what about Lieberman?
Clinton: he’s a touchy lunatic with too
much power in the Senate
Amanpour: I meant Avigdor
Clinton: Oh him too
Amanpour: Is Iran going to build a nuke?
Clinton: they’re very scary
Amanpour: are they morphing into a dictatorship?
Clinton: that was the worst election since the
Florida Brooks Brothers Riot
Amanpour: what about human rights in Iran?
Clinton: when Obama came into office he extended his hand to the religious zealots and political
crazies and it’s clear they are not interested in rational dialogue
Amanpour: we’ll get to the Republicans later
Amanpour: progressives still aren’t sure Obama is on their side since you send so many mixed signals
Clinton: are we talking about the U.S. or Iran?
Amanpour: either one
Amanpour: Ahmadinejad says the sanctions are
as worthless as a used hankie
Clinton: the sanctions are like him - they’re a tool
[ break ]
Amanpour: you released one hiker but what about the others
Ahmadinejad what about all Iranians held by
the U.S. government
Amanpour: are you saying the hikers are only hostages?
Ahmadinejad: I prefer the term bargaining chips
Amanpour: their mothers are very upset
Ahmadinejad so is mine
Amanpour: how is your nuclear bomb going?
Ahmadinejad: we’ve got cameras everywhere
- our nuclear program is like a reality tv show
Amanpour: “The Real Leaders of Iran?”
Ahmadinejad: “Iran’s Got Nukes”
Amanpour: So You Think Can Fool the IAEA
Ahmadinejad: the IAEA is controlled by the U.S.
Amanpour: um yeah ok
Ahmadinejad: we take the sanctions seriously
but they are a joke
Amanpour: right
Ahmadinejad: those harsh sanctions will create
a new era of growth in our economy!
Amanpour: that’s not what I heard Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad: in six months we’ll turn it around
Amanpour: oh my god - a Friedman Unit
Amanpour: you’re going to stone someone to death - that’s fucking crazy
Ahmadinejad: well it’s just one woman what’s
the big deal
Amanpour: now you see why people don’t trust you with nuclear bombs
Ahmadinejad: she was never going to be stoned - it’s all made-up propaganda
Amanpour: is that so
Ahmadinejad: it’s the fault of the United States they’re always saying mean things about us
Amanpour: executions are up 400 percent
Ahmadinejad: I’m making a fascist omlette so I gotta crack a few eggs Christiane
Amanpour: are you going to prosecute your
political opponents
Ahmadinejad: no no those are all independent judges
Amanpour: you are an amazing liar
Ahmadinejad: thanks very much
Amanpour: Fidel Castro called you an anti-semitic whacko
Ahmadinejad: I defer to his big beard
Amanpour: why is Iran becoming so militarized?
Ahmadinejad: you mean like Iraq and Afghanistan?
Amanpour: Will you engage in talks with the U.S. government?
Ahmadinejad I friended Obama on Facebook but did he write back? No!
Amanpour: I’m sorry to hear that
Ahmadinejad : he won’t even follow me on twitter!
Amanpour: I’ll follow you mahmoud
Ahmadinejad: thnx chris ill follow U 2 LOL :)
***********************
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