Sunday, September 26, 2010

This Week with Christiane Amanpour - September 26, 2010

David Axelrod - Presidential advisor
Sen. Mitch McConnell - (R-KY)
Amanpour: can you keep Middle East peace
on track?

Axelrod: we’re going to urge them to keep trying

Amanpour: that doesn’t sound too promising

Axelrod: hey it’s Israel and Palestine you trying getting those lunkheads to agree on anything

Amanpour: could there be a war?

Axelrod: you never know Christiane

Amanpour: everyone is talking about this famous woman who said she is exhausted of defending Obama and is not happy

Axelrod: well she’s right - the middle class got hammered all through the last 10 years and it
ended with a Great Recession

Amanpour: why do people seem to dislike Obama

Axelrod: Because we’re still in a really bad economy - I mean really fucking bad

Amanpour: Bill Clinton says Obama should ask for
two more years and them admit failure

Axelrod: well he’s right that electing the GOP would finally push America off the edge

Amanpour: for the love of god why did Congress put off cutting taxes before the election - are you stupid or insane?

Axelrod: those mean Republicans are holding Obama hostage

Amanpour: that’s quite a metaphor

Axelrod: no he’s actually being held hostage - they’ve asked for piazzas and a negotiating team

Amanpour: If you can’t get it done now how can it be done after you lose the election

Axelrod: we’re playing chicken with Mitch McConnell and we like our odds

Amanpour: Gen. Petraeus called you a ‘spin doctor’

Axelrod: I was in the that band in 1993 and wrote “Two Princes”

Amanpour: oh I didn’t know that

Axelrod: [ plays air guitar ]

Amanpour: Is Rahm finally getting the fuck out?

Axelrod: yeah thank god

[ break ]

Amanpour: Greetings crazy man are you really going to borrow more money just give it to billionaires?

McConnell: you can’t raise taxes in a recession!

Amanpour: will you hold the middle taxes hostage
to that nutty idea

McConnell: Chris it’s not me - it’s Blue Dogs who won’t even let a bill come to the floor

Amanpour: if you do that if you ever want to cut the debt you would have eliminate all of government

McConnell: cut taxes for the rich and the economy will explode

Amanpour: but that’s not about what you would cut

McConnell: well the Catfood Commission may give us permission to cut Social Security

Amanpour: Erik Erikson hates your Pledge to America

McConnell: [ laughs ]

Amanpour: why are you laughing?

McConnell: he’s an damn idiot

Amanpour: but can you satisfy the Tea Party?

McConnell: The Democrats have been in charge of the government for a year and half and we know that all the Tea Partiers will vote Republican

Amanpour: But the Tea Partiers claim to hate both parties equally

McConnell: [ snorts ]

Amanpour: you nominated a lunatic for the Senate
in Delaware

McConnell: she’s an adorable little freak

Amanpour: how is she qualified?

McConnell: she won a primary and that’s enough

Amanpour: Sharron Angle thinks we need an armed rebellion - isn’t that bizarre?

McConnell: no what is freaky and bizarre is aiding auto companies and fixing student loans

Amanpour: oh I see - you’re as crazy as she is

McConnell: I never dabbled in witchcraft although I was loyal servant to Lord Voldemort

Amanpour: but if these people are elected our country will go to hell

McConnell: no Obama will still be there thankfully

Amanpour: of course

[ break ]

Amanpour: Queen tell me about Middle East peace

Raina: I’m not saying that the middle east is all rainbows and gumdrops but the explosive situation with the Palestinians and Israel sure doesn’t damn well help

Amanpour: I hear you your majesty

Raina: both sides need hope and change

Amanpour: uh oh

Raina: look people may not like Obama but he’s miles better than Chicken Caesar

Amanpour: what about the 9/11 mosque

Raina: those are the good muslims

Amanpour: do you worry that people think Osama bin Laden represents all muslims?

Raina: right it’s crazy - people around the world think of America as a beacon of freedom - or we used to

Amanpour: But why do people think muslims
are violent

Raina: We need to do a better job showing there are bad ones as well as happy peaceful muslims just like with other religions whether it’s Christianity, Judaism, Catholicism or The Force

Amanpour: Anakin doesn’t represent all Jedi

Raina: Exactly

Amanpour: Does Islam disempower women?

Raina: Yes - women are graduating from university but they can’t get jobs because of thick-headed men - although that’s not Islam it’s just assholes

Amanpour: oh yeah we those everywhere

[ high fives Raina ]

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