Guests:
John Brennan - White House counterterrorism advisor
Gov. Haley Barbour (R-MS)
Tim Kaine - DNC Chair
Tom Brokaw
Chuck Todd
Michelle Norris
Charlie Cook
Mark Halperin
*******************
Gregory: are there explosive packages still
out there and should this affect my trick or treating?
Brennan: absolutely
Gregory: so I should be very frightened?
Brennan: at all times
Gregory: Is the same group behind the
Christmas Day plot to drop wrapped packages
down our chimneys?
Brennan: yes and they targeted synagogues
so they covered their bases
Gregory: were they tying to exploit the fact there
are no passengers on cargo planes which could be very threatening?
Brennan: right
Gregory: that sounds terrifying
Brennan: it is
Gregory: but there’s a huge loophole because
cargo isn’t screened!
Brennan: yes terrorists may just start mailing bombs marked “you may already be a winner”
Gregory: I love those
Brennan: who wouldn’t open one of those?
Gregory: is Al-Qaeda evolving?
Brennan: yes like primates into humans
Gregory: amazing
[ break ]
Gregory: Gov. Barbour what is this election about?
Barbour: it’s about excessive spending
and debt
Gregory: it’s a repudiation of Republicans?
Barbour: no no - see after 30 years of doing the opposite the GOP is now against spending and debt and deficits
Gregory: oh I see
Kaine: look we cut the deficit and they said their only goal is to make Obama a one-term President
Barbour: this is biggest lurch to the left since FDR and people hate that guy
Gregory: give me your prediction
Barbour: Pain!
Gregory: you said politicians will run on
healthcare and none of them are
Kaine: that’s a lie
Gregory: maybe but it’s a good story
Kaine: you sure seem to love it
Gregory: most Dems are not running on health care reform
Kaine: that’s just not true
Barbour: oh lawdy oh mah stars
Gregory: Gov. Barbour I love your ideas but can
you really keep your promises to cut medicare and spending?
Barbour: anyone can cut $100 billion
Gregory: so why don’t you say how you will do it?
Barbour: aww hawgwash
Gregory: can you really please repeal health care reform?
Barbour: we’ll try Flaffy
Gregory: can there be bipartisanship?
Kaine: we’re going to force the GOP to cut
social security
Gregory: wow!
Barbour: skyrockin debt!
Kaine: we saved the auto industry
Barbour: who is the left of Obama I mean who
spent more than him??
Kaine: Nixon Ford Reagan Bush and Bush
Barbour: well except for them
[ break ]
Gregory: can the GOP take the Senate?
Todd: Nevada is fascinating because you have a milquetoast senate majority leader up against an utter lunatic
Gregory: that’s very interesting
Todd: in the House Democrats are playing
an away game
[ break ]
Gregory: so roundtable what do voters want?
Brokaw: my keen insight says people are mad and believe everything they see on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube
Cook: this is a Parliament election
Gregory: Funkadelic!
Cook: the GOP is going to explode!
Gregory: people are very angry but then again we have a very controversial rally for sanity
Norris: those horrible progressives should have been out canvassing instead of attending a rally
Gregory: indeed they should shower and get a job and knock on doors
Norris: voters are very pragmatic and want something done so will vote for a person who
wants to bring a chicken to the doctor
Halperin: the rally for sanity was the Angry Left like the Beck rally was the Angry Right
Todd: the next 2 years will be a war of the White House vs. the House of Representatives
Gregory: ooh cool
Todd: we don’t know how crazy the House will be - Batshit Insane or merely Totally Psycho
Cook: by ten p.m. election night returns should tell us the results of the election
Gregory: truly you have amazing insight
Gregory: Mark Halperin you say Obama is a compromising moderate who is too far left
Brokaw: Obama does the right things but he is an emotionless Vulcan
Halperin: Obama doesn’t fight for the
American people
Norris: he hasn’t made the case for his own Presidency
Gregory: I don’t care what the truth is and I have studied this and precious few Democrats are running with the President
Brokaw: I was on the Internet and the President
is very unpopular
Gregory: that walrus doing exercises is a clear repudiation of Obamacare
Brokaw: #warble
Gregory: #ihateobama
Gregory: wow that race is Florida is crazy and it’s bad for Democrats there!
Norris: forget that - it will crush Democrats
across the nation!
Gregory: the bloggersphere is angry!
Cook: that’s silly
Gregory: what is the GOP planning?
Brokaw: the tea party wants to repeal health care, social security drug benefits and the law of gravity
Gregory: what will Obama do?
Halperin: he’s got to stop being so passive where he justs sit back and enacts stimulus, health care reform, financial reform - he’s go to do something!
Gregory: he’s so lazy - people hate him!
Todd: there is going to be a big budget fight in 2011!
Gregory: wow that sounds like much fun
Todd: the tea party will offer a chance for Obama to create a rift in the GOP
Brokaw: they are an odd bunch
Gregory: people want politicians to work together
Halperin: that’s not the tea party’s m.o.
Gregory: what about the war?
Brokaw: which one?
Gregory: Afghanistan
Brokaw: the war against Islamic Rage
Gregory: ooh that’s a fun one too
Brokaw: we should talk about how a small number
of troops are doing all the fighting
Audience: should we have had the conversation
in 2001?
Cook: everyone assumed Obama would be weak on defense but it turns out he’s soft on jobs
Todd: the tea party are isolationists so we might as well pull out of Afghanistan
Cook: the GOP is going to have an unearned win this election because there are no jobs
Todd: Feingold losing would hurt Obama in 2012
Brokaw: Reagan’s approval ratings were worse than Obama’s after 2 years
Gregory: Dutch?? [ sobs ]
**************************
Special Halloween Episode - 2009
Sunday, October 31, 2010
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - October 31, 2010
Guests:
John Brennan
Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX)
Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ)
******************************
Amanpour: are there any explosive packages
still out there and what do they look like?
Brennan: worry if you get any unexpected mail from Yemen that is ticking loudly
Amanpour: is it all a plot by a woman and her daughter to wreck America?
Brennan: I didn’t come here to talk about the Palins
Amanpour: who is behind this?
Brennan: we’re looking for all kinds of people
Amanpour: like the men behind the underwear bomber
Brennan: we’re looking for the smoking thong
Amanpour: the PETN got by the PETS!
Brennan: it’s a bit of problem
Amanpour: what else can you do?
Brennan: forget sniffing dogs - we solved this plot with information from Saudi government
Amanpour: how did they know about it
Brennan: let’s just say they have their methods
Amanpour: should we all fly naked?
Brennan: that may work in Sweden but not here
Amanpour: what about cargo planes?
Brennan: they’re full of in-flight bombs like Clash
of the Titans
Amanpour: are we safe
Brennan: no but what can you do?
Amanpour: were they targeting synagogues?
Brennan: no they were only addressed there
to throw off suspicion
Amanpour: of course
Amanpour: will you win the Senate
Cornyn: no but we will in 2012
Amanpour: the end of the world!
Amanpour: have you given up on that loon
Joe Miller?
Cornyn: oh yeah but at least a Republican
is going to win
Menendez: I think we have a chance - Alaska
is crazy after all
Amanpour: Is this worse than 1994?
Menendez: no because people dislike Dems
but they also hate Republicans
Amanpour: good news indeed
Menendez: we need to remind people that the GOP brought us to the brink of destruction
Amanpour: people think Obama raised taxes, the debt, bailed out the banks and is from Rhodesia
Menendez: I think some of those aren’t true
Amanpour: you want Obama want to be a
one-term President
Cornyn: look in January 2009 we remembered
we care about spending
Amanpour: can there ever be bipartisanship?
Menendez: no because the GOP want Obama to fail
Amanpour: why are you keeping your spending
cuts a secret?
Cornyn: we will reveal our plans after the election
Amanpour: not before?
Cornyn: it will be fun like a surprise party
Amanpour: how about raising taxes on the rich?
Cornyn: oh no no
Amanpour: why not just keep the tax cuts for everybody?
Menendez: I thought the GOP was worried about
the debt!
Cornyn: who me?
Amanpour: David Vitter stopped spending money on prostitutes long enough to spend money to attack Hispanics
Cornyn: this is about Yemen terrorists!
Amanpour: ok then
John Brennan
Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX)
Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ)
******************************
Amanpour: are there any explosive packages
still out there and what do they look like?
Brennan: worry if you get any unexpected mail from Yemen that is ticking loudly
Amanpour: is it all a plot by a woman and her daughter to wreck America?
Brennan: I didn’t come here to talk about the Palins
Amanpour: who is behind this?
Brennan: we’re looking for all kinds of people
Amanpour: like the men behind the underwear bomber
Brennan: we’re looking for the smoking thong
Amanpour: the PETN got by the PETS!
Brennan: it’s a bit of problem
Amanpour: what else can you do?
Brennan: forget sniffing dogs - we solved this plot with information from Saudi government
Amanpour: how did they know about it
Brennan: let’s just say they have their methods
Amanpour: should we all fly naked?
Brennan: that may work in Sweden but not here
Amanpour: what about cargo planes?
Brennan: they’re full of in-flight bombs like Clash
of the Titans
Amanpour: are we safe
Brennan: no but what can you do?
Amanpour: were they targeting synagogues?
Brennan: no they were only addressed there
to throw off suspicion
Amanpour: of course
Amanpour: will you win the Senate
Cornyn: no but we will in 2012
Amanpour: the end of the world!
Amanpour: have you given up on that loon
Joe Miller?
Cornyn: oh yeah but at least a Republican
is going to win
Menendez: I think we have a chance - Alaska
is crazy after all
Amanpour: Is this worse than 1994?
Menendez: no because people dislike Dems
but they also hate Republicans
Amanpour: good news indeed
Menendez: we need to remind people that the GOP brought us to the brink of destruction
Amanpour: people think Obama raised taxes, the debt, bailed out the banks and is from Rhodesia
Menendez: I think some of those aren’t true
Amanpour: you want Obama want to be a
one-term President
Cornyn: look in January 2009 we remembered
we care about spending
Amanpour: can there ever be bipartisanship?
Menendez: no because the GOP want Obama to fail
Amanpour: why are you keeping your spending
cuts a secret?
Cornyn: we will reveal our plans after the election
Amanpour: not before?
Cornyn: it will be fun like a surprise party
Amanpour: how about raising taxes on the rich?
Cornyn: oh no no
Amanpour: why not just keep the tax cuts for everybody?
Menendez: I thought the GOP was worried about
the debt!
Cornyn: who me?
Amanpour: David Vitter stopped spending money on prostitutes long enough to spend money to attack Hispanics
Cornyn: this is about Yemen terrorists!
Amanpour: ok then
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Meet The Press with Michael Steele - October 24, 2010
Guests:
Michael Steele - RNC Chair
Harold Ford - Fmr Dem Rep.
E.J. Dionne
Rachel Maddow
Rick Santelli
******************************
Gregory: Oooh the Final Countdown to election day - here’s the chair of the RNC!!!
Steele: hey-ooo!!!
Gregory: Mike is it true Republicans created a big mess and decided to obstruct Obama so the mess wouldn’t be fixed?
Steele: oh no Republicans wanted to tort reform
and Obama said no
Gregory: oh that is so sad!
Steele: Fluffy the GOP leaders tried to meet with Obama and he wouldn’t invite them to his
Superbowl party
Gregory: so are we looking at a massive
GOP sweep?
Steele: Greggers the excitement is off the hook!
it’s crazy!
Gregory: whoa that’s amazing
Steele: we’re taking the House - it’s on
it’s happening!
Gregory: I don’t want to throw cold water on your party but I can’t help but notice that you nominated
a bunch of lunatics for high office
Steele: look Chris we all make misstatements
Gregory: my name is David
Steele: see what I mean!
Gregory: right
Steele: you have to look into someone’s heart not whether they are a witch or hate gays or have never read the Constitution or wear a Nazi uniform
Gregory: is O’Donnell qualified for the U.S. Senate?
Steele: it’s snobbish and very elitist to insist that a Senator be able to read at a third-grade level
Gregory: Pelosi says the GOP is creating a plutocracy
Steele: Pluto?! Who cares about some damm
cartoon dog?!?!
Gregory: ok
Steele: don’t be high and mighty about disclosure - Nancy Pelosi should disclose what she says the GOP are not disclosing!
Gregory: are there secret organizations funding
GOP elections?
Steele: How should I know?!?! They’re secret!!
Gregory: well that seems like a problem
Steele: the law doesn’t require disclosure!
Gregory: well should it?
Steele: I love transparency so Nancy Pelosi should put up or shut and identify the secret funders
of GOP elections!!
Gregory: Eric Cantor says National Public Radio is captured by radical Islamic terrorists
Steele: Garrison Keillor may wear muslim garb -
who can say?? The man is on the damm radio!!
Gregory: a salient point indeed
Steele: look Juan Williams was expressing his own fear of muslim garb which is the same thing that
Tina Notenberg said about Strom Thurmond
Gregory: should we eliminate NPR?
Steele: I’m not interested in policy I just want to use this ridiculous issue to win elections
Gregory: can we win in 2012?
Steele: oh it’s gonna be incredibly exciting -
in 2 years the GOP is going to have a whole new crop of crazy people and delusional psychotics
to run for office!
Gregory: speaking of that - your tenure at the RNC has been one fiasco after another
Steele: look I’m a different kind of chairman - I’ve created a network of unqualified ignorant freaks all across this country
Gregory: thank you very much Mike
[ break ]
Gregory: so group what’s going on with the 2010 elections?
Brooks: voters hate everybody so the elections are all getting closer
Maddow: the country hasn’t changed ideologically in 2 years as exciting as all those tea partiers are
Gregory: Obama says America is scared and so people act irrationally
Santelli: that’s odd because all the rich people I know are very calm and happy
Dionne: Dems need a clear message embracing and even bragging about the stimulus and health care reform
Gregory: but as a nation we’re on the wrong track!
Ford: Obama and Democrats have to focus on jobs and growth and also do whatever Republicans want
Gregory: what about all these secret donations pouring into political campaigns and putting on confusing ads?
Brooks: it’s only important if you care about it corrupting our government - let’s talk about whether it affects the horse race!
Gregory: yeah!
Brooks: it’s only $12 million - who cares?
Dionne: hell yeah $200 million matters - why do you think corporations are spending this money just for the fun or it??
Maddow: we don’t know how much money is being spent by Karl Rove because it’s a fucking secret
Gregory: this is the law of the land - should it be changed?
Santelli: I’m a firm believer in process - for example we could have a process to buy and sell Senate seats on eBay
Gregory: Rick Santelli you are the Father of the Tea Party - and your candidates are mostly illiterate nuts and not even winning
Santelli: let’s not be snobs just because a candidate hasn’t read the First Amendment
Gregory: you’re joking
Ford: the problem is she celebrates her ignorance - on the other hand I’ve been on Capitol Hill those guys are not too bright either
Gregory: after all you were in Congress
Ford: exactly
Maddow: The 2010 election can be summed up in Nevada: Reid is very unpopular but will because Sharron Angle is crazy, violent and racist
Ford: look all politicians are corrupt and most are insane
Gregory: even Fortune magazine thinks the GOP plan is incoherent
Brooks: the people want their cake and eat it too - which the GOP has promised since 1980
Gregory: let us cry for Juan Williams
Dionne: a student of mine once listened to every hour of NPR for a whole week
Audience: dear god
Dionne: NPR is a good news organization and Fox
is a pure propaganda network
Gregory: perhaps
Dionne: they should have told Juan Williams to choose between NPR and Fox
Ford: oh poor poor Juan Williams!
Santelli: we just need to elect ignorant uninformed rabid anti-government Tea Partiers to make raising taxes popular
Maddow: that’s the single stupidest thing I have
ever heard in my entire life
Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press
***********************************
Digby & Watertiger on Virtually Speaking Sunday Tonight
October 24 8:00 p.m. EST / 5:00 p.m. Pacific
Simulcast on BlogTalkRadio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/virtuallyspeaking/2010/10/25/virtually-speaking-sundays
Subscribe via iTunes - http://bit.ly/8Szklp
Second Life:
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Virtually%20Speaking/164/111/25
Michael Steele - RNC Chair
Harold Ford - Fmr Dem Rep.
E.J. Dionne
Rachel Maddow
Rick Santelli
******************************
Gregory: Oooh the Final Countdown to election day - here’s the chair of the RNC!!!
Steele: hey-ooo!!!
Gregory: Mike is it true Republicans created a big mess and decided to obstruct Obama so the mess wouldn’t be fixed?
Steele: oh no Republicans wanted to tort reform
and Obama said no
Gregory: oh that is so sad!
Steele: Fluffy the GOP leaders tried to meet with Obama and he wouldn’t invite them to his
Superbowl party
Gregory: so are we looking at a massive
GOP sweep?
Steele: Greggers the excitement is off the hook!
it’s crazy!
Gregory: whoa that’s amazing
Steele: we’re taking the House - it’s on
it’s happening!
Gregory: I don’t want to throw cold water on your party but I can’t help but notice that you nominated
a bunch of lunatics for high office
Steele: look Chris we all make misstatements
Gregory: my name is David
Steele: see what I mean!
Gregory: right
Steele: you have to look into someone’s heart not whether they are a witch or hate gays or have never read the Constitution or wear a Nazi uniform
Gregory: is O’Donnell qualified for the U.S. Senate?
Steele: it’s snobbish and very elitist to insist that a Senator be able to read at a third-grade level
Gregory: Pelosi says the GOP is creating a plutocracy
Steele: Pluto?! Who cares about some damm
cartoon dog?!?!
Gregory: ok
Steele: don’t be high and mighty about disclosure - Nancy Pelosi should disclose what she says the GOP are not disclosing!
Gregory: are there secret organizations funding
GOP elections?
Steele: How should I know?!?! They’re secret!!
Gregory: well that seems like a problem
Steele: the law doesn’t require disclosure!
Gregory: well should it?
Steele: I love transparency so Nancy Pelosi should put up or shut and identify the secret funders
of GOP elections!!
Gregory: Eric Cantor says National Public Radio is captured by radical Islamic terrorists
Steele: Garrison Keillor may wear muslim garb -
who can say?? The man is on the damm radio!!
Gregory: a salient point indeed
Steele: look Juan Williams was expressing his own fear of muslim garb which is the same thing that
Tina Notenberg said about Strom Thurmond
Gregory: should we eliminate NPR?
Steele: I’m not interested in policy I just want to use this ridiculous issue to win elections
Gregory: can we win in 2012?
Steele: oh it’s gonna be incredibly exciting -
in 2 years the GOP is going to have a whole new crop of crazy people and delusional psychotics
to run for office!
Gregory: speaking of that - your tenure at the RNC has been one fiasco after another
Steele: look I’m a different kind of chairman - I’ve created a network of unqualified ignorant freaks all across this country
Gregory: thank you very much Mike
[ break ]
Gregory: so group what’s going on with the 2010 elections?
Brooks: voters hate everybody so the elections are all getting closer
Maddow: the country hasn’t changed ideologically in 2 years as exciting as all those tea partiers are
Gregory: Obama says America is scared and so people act irrationally
Santelli: that’s odd because all the rich people I know are very calm and happy
Dionne: Dems need a clear message embracing and even bragging about the stimulus and health care reform
Gregory: but as a nation we’re on the wrong track!
Ford: Obama and Democrats have to focus on jobs and growth and also do whatever Republicans want
Gregory: what about all these secret donations pouring into political campaigns and putting on confusing ads?
Brooks: it’s only important if you care about it corrupting our government - let’s talk about whether it affects the horse race!
Gregory: yeah!
Brooks: it’s only $12 million - who cares?
Dionne: hell yeah $200 million matters - why do you think corporations are spending this money just for the fun or it??
Maddow: we don’t know how much money is being spent by Karl Rove because it’s a fucking secret
Gregory: this is the law of the land - should it be changed?
Santelli: I’m a firm believer in process - for example we could have a process to buy and sell Senate seats on eBay
Gregory: Rick Santelli you are the Father of the Tea Party - and your candidates are mostly illiterate nuts and not even winning
Santelli: let’s not be snobs just because a candidate hasn’t read the First Amendment
Gregory: you’re joking
Ford: the problem is she celebrates her ignorance - on the other hand I’ve been on Capitol Hill those guys are not too bright either
Gregory: after all you were in Congress
Ford: exactly
Maddow: The 2010 election can be summed up in Nevada: Reid is very unpopular but will because Sharron Angle is crazy, violent and racist
Ford: look all politicians are corrupt and most are insane
Gregory: even Fortune magazine thinks the GOP plan is incoherent
Brooks: the people want their cake and eat it too - which the GOP has promised since 1980
Gregory: let us cry for Juan Williams
Dionne: a student of mine once listened to every hour of NPR for a whole week
Audience: dear god
Dionne: NPR is a good news organization and Fox
is a pure propaganda network
Gregory: perhaps
Dionne: they should have told Juan Williams to choose between NPR and Fox
Ford: oh poor poor Juan Williams!
Santelli: we just need to elect ignorant uninformed rabid anti-government Tea Partiers to make raising taxes popular
Maddow: that’s the single stupidest thing I have
ever heard in my entire life
Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press
***********************************
Digby & Watertiger on Virtually Speaking Sunday Tonight
October 24 8:00 p.m. EST / 5:00 p.m. Pacific
Simulcast on BlogTalkRadio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/virtuallyspeaking/2010/10/25/virtually-speaking-sundays
Subscribe via iTunes - http://bit.ly/8Szklp
Second Life:
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Virtually%20Speaking/164/111/25
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - October 24, 2010
Guests:
Tim Kaine - DNC Chair
Ed Gillespie - GOP strategist
Anita Dunn - Dem strategist
George Will
Amy Walter
****************************
Amanpour: the election is 9 days away and America has so many lunatics to choose from
Kaine: we can keep the House if everything changes
Amanpour: the polls say you’re gong to lose
Kaine: true - but have you seen those cheering rallies?
Amanpour: Will Pelosi stay on?
Kaine: she deserves a medal for herding all those assholes
Amanpour: and the Senate?
Kaine: thank god for Angle, O’Donnell, and that looney Toomey
Amanpour: but why aren’t you sweeping into office with rose petals strewn at your feet?
Kaine: we got the policy right but forgot to
advertise our successes
Amanpour: that seems like the kind of thing
a politician would remember
Kaine: well we were all very busy at the time
Amanpour: Bill Clinton says he can’t believe
you might lose the House after just 2 years of Obama’s Presidency
Kaine: um, 1994?
Amanpour: but you need to sell whatever you’ve done
Kaine: we saved the auto industry and prevented
a Depression
Amanpour: the Dems are running away from your famous health care reform
Kaine: I don’t see that happening - very much anyway
Amanpour: but Republicans are running ads
against health care reform
Kaine: of course they are - they also dress like Nazis and pay their coven tithes in chickens
Amanpour: why don’t you undisclosed-outside-funded ads?
Kaine: because we’re pure and believe in full disclosure
Amanpour: the economy sucks and the Democrats are in charge of all three branches of government
Kaine: we’ve accomplished an incredible amount
but the Republicans won’t allow us to accomplish anything
Amanpour: sell me on your achievements
Kaine: we have great job growth
Amanpour: in 2011 will we finally get bipartisanship?
Kaine: Christiane are you high?
[ break ]
Amanpour: welcome to the rouddtable - in a time of economic hardship, American has nominated a bunch of crazy people, weirdos, psychotics and general nutjobs
Will: the tea party was created out of disappointment with Bush and the Republicans
Gillespie: the tea party has energized the GOP -
I love those wackos
Amanpour: what are they so mad about?
Gillespie: Obama is taking over every business
in America!
Dunn: I agree with the tea party - the Republican party sucks
Amanpour: interesting
Dunn: there may be an enthusiasm gap but no one really wants Republican ideas - they’re just mad and disappointed
Amanpour: why are Republicans so secretive?
Gillespie: Obama hides the identity of people who gave him only $10 and unions are spending taxpayer money on elections!
Dunn: dear god that’s stupid
Gillespie: look we’re obeying the corrupt laws we enacted to protect billionaires
Walter: voters are anti-everything - they would vote against themselves if they could
Will: it’s amazing that billionaires don’t spend more to influence elections - they’re so selfless and wonderful
Dunn: so government is bought and paid for - people care about that!
Gillespie: people don’t care about corrupt elections - they care about the debt!
Amanpour: polls say people want the government to create jobs
Dunn: Bush was losing a million jobs a month!
Will: the election is over and the voters have said they hate Obama
Amanpour: thank you for that report from fantasy-land
*************************
Tim Kaine - DNC Chair
Ed Gillespie - GOP strategist
Anita Dunn - Dem strategist
George Will
Amy Walter
****************************
Amanpour: the election is 9 days away and America has so many lunatics to choose from
Kaine: we can keep the House if everything changes
Amanpour: the polls say you’re gong to lose
Kaine: true - but have you seen those cheering rallies?
Amanpour: Will Pelosi stay on?
Kaine: she deserves a medal for herding all those assholes
Amanpour: and the Senate?
Kaine: thank god for Angle, O’Donnell, and that looney Toomey
Amanpour: but why aren’t you sweeping into office with rose petals strewn at your feet?
Kaine: we got the policy right but forgot to
advertise our successes
Amanpour: that seems like the kind of thing
a politician would remember
Kaine: well we were all very busy at the time
Amanpour: Bill Clinton says he can’t believe
you might lose the House after just 2 years of Obama’s Presidency
Kaine: um, 1994?
Amanpour: but you need to sell whatever you’ve done
Kaine: we saved the auto industry and prevented
a Depression
Amanpour: the Dems are running away from your famous health care reform
Kaine: I don’t see that happening - very much anyway
Amanpour: but Republicans are running ads
against health care reform
Kaine: of course they are - they also dress like Nazis and pay their coven tithes in chickens
Amanpour: why don’t you undisclosed-outside-funded ads?
Kaine: because we’re pure and believe in full disclosure
Amanpour: the economy sucks and the Democrats are in charge of all three branches of government
Kaine: we’ve accomplished an incredible amount
but the Republicans won’t allow us to accomplish anything
Amanpour: sell me on your achievements
Kaine: we have great job growth
Amanpour: in 2011 will we finally get bipartisanship?
Kaine: Christiane are you high?
[ break ]
Amanpour: welcome to the rouddtable - in a time of economic hardship, American has nominated a bunch of crazy people, weirdos, psychotics and general nutjobs
Will: the tea party was created out of disappointment with Bush and the Republicans
Gillespie: the tea party has energized the GOP -
I love those wackos
Amanpour: what are they so mad about?
Gillespie: Obama is taking over every business
in America!
Dunn: I agree with the tea party - the Republican party sucks
Amanpour: interesting
Dunn: there may be an enthusiasm gap but no one really wants Republican ideas - they’re just mad and disappointed
Amanpour: why are Republicans so secretive?
Gillespie: Obama hides the identity of people who gave him only $10 and unions are spending taxpayer money on elections!
Dunn: dear god that’s stupid
Gillespie: look we’re obeying the corrupt laws we enacted to protect billionaires
Walter: voters are anti-everything - they would vote against themselves if they could
Will: it’s amazing that billionaires don’t spend more to influence elections - they’re so selfless and wonderful
Dunn: so government is bought and paid for - people care about that!
Gillespie: people don’t care about corrupt elections - they care about the debt!
Amanpour: polls say people want the government to create jobs
Dunn: Bush was losing a million jobs a month!
Will: the election is over and the voters have said they hate Obama
Amanpour: thank you for that report from fantasy-land
*************************
Sunday, October 10, 2010
60 Minutes - October 10, 2010
Kroft: computers trade all stocks nowadays
which is not unexpected if you’ve seen the Terminator movies
Audience: awesome
Kroft: Big banks own computers which
on their own trade a billion shares of stocks a day
Audience: how nice
Kroft: Do humans do any trading?
Computer trading guy: hell no humans
are slow and stupid
Kroft: why would you buy a stock and
hold it 30 seconds?
Owner: it’s called buy hold and dump dude
Kroft: how do you make money doing that?
Owner: did you ever seen Superman III
with Richard Pryor?
Kroft: yes
Owner: we make 40 million pennies a day
Kroft: so the computers don’t know if the
CEO is a crook or having an affair
Owner: right - it’s all math
Kroft: you take human beings out of capitalism
Owner: it seemed only logical
Other guy: you can’t make money
doing this without cheating
Kroft: they’re not cheating - they just
have fast computers
Other guy: that is cheating Steve
Kroft: traders will pay for access to information
normal people can’t get
Stock Exchange guy: right it’s genius
Other guy: this is more cheating
Kroft: but it’s only for milliseconds
Other guy: you poor deluded fool
Kroft: but doesn’t this create jobs?
Other guy: no it’s just guys rigging a casino
Stock exchange guy: look if you’re holding stocks long-term don’t worry if the computers will become self aware and foreclose on your house
Kroft: the chances of that happening are slim
Stock exchange guy: right like one in five
Sen. Kauffman: did you ever seen
2001: A Space Odyssey - these computers may
kill us all for no reason!
Kroft: that almost happened last year
Schapiro: that was scary
Kroft: should we put computers in charge of our retirement funds?
Schapiro: Algorithms almost sold the US government to China last spring
Sen. Kauffman: there are a small number of people swimming in a river of wealth
Stock guy: we have to trick people into putting all their money into a system clearly rigged by a select few to get rich using computers you can’t see or use
Kroft: of course
which is not unexpected if you’ve seen the Terminator movies
Audience: awesome
Kroft: Big banks own computers which
on their own trade a billion shares of stocks a day
Audience: how nice
Kroft: Do humans do any trading?
Computer trading guy: hell no humans
are slow and stupid
Kroft: why would you buy a stock and
hold it 30 seconds?
Owner: it’s called buy hold and dump dude
Kroft: how do you make money doing that?
Owner: did you ever seen Superman III
with Richard Pryor?
Kroft: yes
Owner: we make 40 million pennies a day
Kroft: so the computers don’t know if the
CEO is a crook or having an affair
Owner: right - it’s all math
Kroft: you take human beings out of capitalism
Owner: it seemed only logical
Other guy: you can’t make money
doing this without cheating
Kroft: they’re not cheating - they just
have fast computers
Other guy: that is cheating Steve
Kroft: traders will pay for access to information
normal people can’t get
Stock Exchange guy: right it’s genius
Other guy: this is more cheating
Kroft: but it’s only for milliseconds
Other guy: you poor deluded fool
Kroft: but doesn’t this create jobs?
Other guy: no it’s just guys rigging a casino
Stock exchange guy: look if you’re holding stocks long-term don’t worry if the computers will become self aware and foreclose on your house
Kroft: the chances of that happening are slim
Stock exchange guy: right like one in five
Sen. Kauffman: did you ever seen
2001: A Space Odyssey - these computers may
kill us all for no reason!
Kroft: that almost happened last year
Schapiro: that was scary
Kroft: should we put computers in charge of our retirement funds?
Schapiro: Algorithms almost sold the US government to China last spring
Sen. Kauffman: there are a small number of people swimming in a river of wealth
Stock guy: we have to trick people into putting all their money into a system clearly rigged by a select few to get rich using computers you can’t see or use
Kroft: of course
Meet The Press - October 10, 2010
Guests:
Alexi Giannoulias (D-Illinois Sen. candidate)
Mark Kirk (R-Illinois Sen. candidate)
Joe Klein
Peggy Noonan
***********************
Gregory: Alexi did Obama bring change to America?
Giannoulias: he inherited a true mess and now
we have to get a trillion dollars off the sidelines and in the game
Kirk: Obama added debt which Nixon, Reagan,
Bush I and Bush II and Republicans would never do
Gregory: do you really want to stand by the Republican record on debt?
Kirk: No
Gregory: how do we add jobs?
Kirk: this Congress is viciously anti-business!
Gregory: your answer is more tax cuts
Kirk: not only that - crush the unions!
Giannoulias: I’m the only one here who has
worked in the private sector
Gregory: so how would you create jobs?
Giannoulias: people can’t get a loan so we need to get liquid
Gregory: you said the stimulus should be
bigger which is amazing!
Giannoulias: damm right
Gregory: but they promised unemployment of 8%!
Giannoulias: Look moron the stimulus prevented another Great Depression
Kirk: the Democrats want to impose a 900 billion tax increase on December 31 which is terrifying
Gregory: but I thought your big fear was the debt and now you won’t even raise taxes on
the richest Americans
Kirk: I want to limit our military jets to one engine each
Gregory: Okay
Giannoulias: he says he’s fiscal hawk but he voted for the Bridge to Nowhere, all of Bush’s budgets, Congressional pay raises, and to lift the debt ceiling - how will he pay for tax cuts for the rich??
Gregory: Captain Kirk?
Giannoulias: I would give Obama a line item veto
Gregory: Alex what would you cut?
Giannoulias: wasteful spending
Gregory: you misunderstood my question - I want you to say ‘raise the Social Security retirement age’
Kirk: sell the Tennessee Valley authority
Gregory: fascinating
Kirk: we can’t be like Europe with declining unemployment, social services and strong infrastructure - that’s just not the American way
Gregory: would you repeal the health care
reform bill?
Kirk: yes - replace it with tort reform
Giannoulias: and people think I’m an idiot
Kirk: the health care reform bill cuts spending
for old people!
Gregory: what about health care reform
Giannoulias: it banned pre-existing conditions
which was good
Kirk: no it cut Medicare
Gregory: Alexi you say you are a financial expert but your family’s bank went bankrupt and you appear to have mob ties
Giannoulias: My father came here as an immigrant and someday soon the family business will be completely legitimate
Gregory: but when did you stop working
for the bank?
Giannoulias: never ask me about my business Fluffy
Gregory: but you loaned money to criminals
Giannoulias: that’s where the money is
Gregory: you have strong ties to crooks
Giannoulias: so I’m perfect for Congress
Kirk: He’s Tony Soprano without the charm
Giannoulias: look we were a bank and we loaned money to people - you have no idea how a business works
Kirk: it’s true I don’t have experience lending
money to members of organized crime - it’s all his family does!
Giannoulias: Congressman we’re all a part of the same hypocrisy -- but never think that it applies to my family
Gregory: Captain Kirk-
Kirk: Admiral!
Gregory: Kirk you exaggerated being under fire, lied about being Intelligence Officer of the Year and claimed falsely that you ran the Pentagon War Room
Kirk: true - but I did see ‘Saving Private Ryan’
Giannoulias: people may be unsure what he believes but they will always know where I stand - I will
lend money to mobsters
Gregory: Facebook wants to know how you two would buck your parties
Kirk: I support stem cell research
Giannoulias: I oppose TARP
Gregory: brave stances indeed
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama is tied to Giannoulias who is tied to crooks and Kirk claimed he single-handledly defeated Khan
Klein: it’s an extraordinary election
Noonan: people are turned off by all the negative campaigning which is why it works
Gregory: does Obama help candidates?
Klein: of course he does Fluffy
Gregory: oh noe
Klein: people don’t want to hear endless debates about who lied - they want results from Washington
Gregory: you make it sound like people don’t like
my show
Klein: that’s true - they also hate Wall Street
and China
Gregory: it’s seems like the little people are very upset
Noonan: people are finally realizing America had a nice ride for 50 years and now the party is over
Gregory: Please bash Barack Obama for me
Noonan: if you insist Greggers - but I must tell you the people blame all of Washington
Gregory: Joe Klein will you please bash
Barak Obama
Klein: no - the people out there respect Obama but they don’t admire him because they don’t understand the health and financial reform bills
Gregory: I see
Klein: the American people are obsessed with China
Noonan: the Tea Party hate George W. Bush and the Republicans
Gregory: speaking of that let’s look at this clip of Sarah Palin on a local community access tv show
Klein: The American people know the Republicans have only bad ideas like needless wars and the Democrats have only ridiculous ideas like for forced breastfeeding by men
Noonan: people want to crush the government
Klein: yes but it’s a conundrum because the people I talked to out there want big spending and they don’t care about the debt
Noonan: those may be the facts but my gut tells people feel spending is out of control
Gregory: and my gut tells me that’s another episode of Meet The Press
Audience: [ vomits ]
Alexi Giannoulias (D-Illinois Sen. candidate)
Mark Kirk (R-Illinois Sen. candidate)
Joe Klein
Peggy Noonan
***********************
Gregory: Alexi did Obama bring change to America?
Giannoulias: he inherited a true mess and now
we have to get a trillion dollars off the sidelines and in the game
Kirk: Obama added debt which Nixon, Reagan,
Bush I and Bush II and Republicans would never do
Gregory: do you really want to stand by the Republican record on debt?
Kirk: No
Gregory: how do we add jobs?
Kirk: this Congress is viciously anti-business!
Gregory: your answer is more tax cuts
Kirk: not only that - crush the unions!
Giannoulias: I’m the only one here who has
worked in the private sector
Gregory: so how would you create jobs?
Giannoulias: people can’t get a loan so we need to get liquid
Gregory: you said the stimulus should be
bigger which is amazing!
Giannoulias: damm right
Gregory: but they promised unemployment of 8%!
Giannoulias: Look moron the stimulus prevented another Great Depression
Kirk: the Democrats want to impose a 900 billion tax increase on December 31 which is terrifying
Gregory: but I thought your big fear was the debt and now you won’t even raise taxes on
the richest Americans
Kirk: I want to limit our military jets to one engine each
Gregory: Okay
Giannoulias: he says he’s fiscal hawk but he voted for the Bridge to Nowhere, all of Bush’s budgets, Congressional pay raises, and to lift the debt ceiling - how will he pay for tax cuts for the rich??
Gregory: Captain Kirk?
Giannoulias: I would give Obama a line item veto
Gregory: Alex what would you cut?
Giannoulias: wasteful spending
Gregory: you misunderstood my question - I want you to say ‘raise the Social Security retirement age’
Kirk: sell the Tennessee Valley authority
Gregory: fascinating
Kirk: we can’t be like Europe with declining unemployment, social services and strong infrastructure - that’s just not the American way
Gregory: would you repeal the health care
reform bill?
Kirk: yes - replace it with tort reform
Giannoulias: and people think I’m an idiot
Kirk: the health care reform bill cuts spending
for old people!
Gregory: what about health care reform
Giannoulias: it banned pre-existing conditions
which was good
Kirk: no it cut Medicare
Gregory: Alexi you say you are a financial expert but your family’s bank went bankrupt and you appear to have mob ties
Giannoulias: My father came here as an immigrant and someday soon the family business will be completely legitimate
Gregory: but when did you stop working
for the bank?
Giannoulias: never ask me about my business Fluffy
Gregory: but you loaned money to criminals
Giannoulias: that’s where the money is
Gregory: you have strong ties to crooks
Giannoulias: so I’m perfect for Congress
Kirk: He’s Tony Soprano without the charm
Giannoulias: look we were a bank and we loaned money to people - you have no idea how a business works
Kirk: it’s true I don’t have experience lending
money to members of organized crime - it’s all his family does!
Giannoulias: Congressman we’re all a part of the same hypocrisy -- but never think that it applies to my family
Gregory: Captain Kirk-
Kirk: Admiral!
Gregory: Kirk you exaggerated being under fire, lied about being Intelligence Officer of the Year and claimed falsely that you ran the Pentagon War Room
Kirk: true - but I did see ‘Saving Private Ryan’
Giannoulias: people may be unsure what he believes but they will always know where I stand - I will
lend money to mobsters
Gregory: Facebook wants to know how you two would buck your parties
Kirk: I support stem cell research
Giannoulias: I oppose TARP
Gregory: brave stances indeed
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama is tied to Giannoulias who is tied to crooks and Kirk claimed he single-handledly defeated Khan
Klein: it’s an extraordinary election
Noonan: people are turned off by all the negative campaigning which is why it works
Gregory: does Obama help candidates?
Klein: of course he does Fluffy
Gregory: oh noe
Klein: people don’t want to hear endless debates about who lied - they want results from Washington
Gregory: you make it sound like people don’t like
my show
Klein: that’s true - they also hate Wall Street
and China
Gregory: it’s seems like the little people are very upset
Noonan: people are finally realizing America had a nice ride for 50 years and now the party is over
Gregory: Please bash Barack Obama for me
Noonan: if you insist Greggers - but I must tell you the people blame all of Washington
Gregory: Joe Klein will you please bash
Barak Obama
Klein: no - the people out there respect Obama but they don’t admire him because they don’t understand the health and financial reform bills
Gregory: I see
Klein: the American people are obsessed with China
Noonan: the Tea Party hate George W. Bush and the Republicans
Gregory: speaking of that let’s look at this clip of Sarah Palin on a local community access tv show
Klein: The American people know the Republicans have only bad ideas like needless wars and the Democrats have only ridiculous ideas like for forced breastfeeding by men
Noonan: people want to crush the government
Klein: yes but it’s a conundrum because the people I talked to out there want big spending and they don’t care about the debt
Noonan: those may be the facts but my gut tells people feel spending is out of control
Gregory: and my gut tells me that’s another episode of Meet The Press
Audience: [ vomits ]
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - October 10, 2010
Guests:
Richard Blumenthal (D-CT Attorney General)
Linda McMahon (CEO WWE)
Christine LeGarde (French Finance Minister)
Pervez Musharraf (Former President of Pakistan)
***************************
Amanpour: Hi Bob Woodruff is reporting from a remote and strange place where journalists are never allowed access
Audience: the Christine O’Donnell headquarters?
Amanpour: Bob what did you see in North Korea?
Woodruff: we saw things we never saw before - we have a failed leader passing power
on to his idiot son
Amanpour: what do you know about the son
of the President
Woodruff: he speaks a little English and
enjoys sports
Amanpour: so he’s as qualified as Dubya
Amanpour: Connecticut has lost 100,000 jobs and has a shortage of gin & tonics so of course they have turned to a professional wrestling executive
Amanpour: you created 600 jobs based on oiled-up men wrestling each other on television -- so what federal spending would you cut?
McMahon: I would cut everything unpopular
Amanpour: would you cut defense Social Security
or Medicare and Medicaid?
McMahon: no
Amanpour: Linda your business was a degrading demeaning sexist violent steroid-ridden farce
McMahon: it used to be offensive but now it’s beefy men beating each other up geared toward children
Amanpour: your husband told to a woman to get down
on all fours and bark like a dog
McMahon: so what - people love dogs!
Amanpour: Dick how can you be losing this race?
Blumenthal: because don’t vote on the issues they vote for the person
Amanpour: you misled people about serving
in Vietnam
Blumenthal: true but I really did see ‘Platoon’ and ‘Apocalypse Now’
Amanpour: why should people vote for you?
Blumenthal: because professional wrestling is idiotic
Amanpour: and you Linda?
McMahon: because getting paid millions to
arrange for outrageously dressed muscular men in spandex to give each other consussions is the American dream
Amanpour: Talk austerity to me Christine
LaGarde: ve need to haf ze confidence
Amanpour: but economists say we need more stimulus
LaGarde: we did that in 2009 and unemployment is 9.3% which is tres bien
Amanpour: it seems like the poor are paying for the sins of the bankers
LaGarde: ve are taxing ze banks
Amanpour: can we prevent another worldwide financial meltdown?
LaGarde: ve don’t know because ze criminals
are tres agile
Amanpour: are markets run by crazy people?
LaGarde: ve must put zem in le straitjackets
Amanpour: will you raise the retirement age?
LaGarde: ess only 2 years
Amanpour: do women approach finance differently?
LaGarde: oui because eet is not all about le libido and making ze deal to have the sex
Amanpour: that sounds right
Amanpour: The U.S. apologized to Pakistan this week for bombing their country - whoops!!
Reporter: this leads to lack of support for the Pakistan government and hatred for the
United States
Audience: sounds great
Amanpour: the U.S. is accusing Pakistan of
not going after terrorists
Musharraf: oh no we are
Amanpour: then why is the U.S. bombing Pakistan?
Musharraf: hey we got our hands full - you don’t know what it’s like living in nation full of insane religious fanatics and people in politics with patently crazy anti-government ideas
Amanpour: I wouldn’t be to sure about that
Musharraf: we need to play “Let’s Make a Deal”
with the Taliban
Amanpour: not “Jeopardy”?
Amanpour: why are there so many terrorists in Pakistan?
Musharraf: hey get off our backs! Just leave
us alone!
Amanpour: Pakistanis don’t like the U.S.
Musharraf: well sure because the U.S. is bombing their country
Amanpour: are you going to run for President in 2013?
Musharraf: hey they could do worse than me -
and they have
Amanpour: but you’re in London
Musharraf: Yes I find for office in Pakistan from England cuts down on the assassination attempts
Amanpour: thanks for coming Pervez
Richard Blumenthal (D-CT Attorney General)
Linda McMahon (CEO WWE)
Christine LeGarde (French Finance Minister)
Pervez Musharraf (Former President of Pakistan)
***************************
Amanpour: Hi Bob Woodruff is reporting from a remote and strange place where journalists are never allowed access
Audience: the Christine O’Donnell headquarters?
Amanpour: Bob what did you see in North Korea?
Woodruff: we saw things we never saw before - we have a failed leader passing power
on to his idiot son
Amanpour: what do you know about the son
of the President
Woodruff: he speaks a little English and
enjoys sports
Amanpour: so he’s as qualified as Dubya
Amanpour: Connecticut has lost 100,000 jobs and has a shortage of gin & tonics so of course they have turned to a professional wrestling executive
Amanpour: you created 600 jobs based on oiled-up men wrestling each other on television -- so what federal spending would you cut?
McMahon: I would cut everything unpopular
Amanpour: would you cut defense Social Security
or Medicare and Medicaid?
McMahon: no
Amanpour: Linda your business was a degrading demeaning sexist violent steroid-ridden farce
McMahon: it used to be offensive but now it’s beefy men beating each other up geared toward children
Amanpour: your husband told to a woman to get down
on all fours and bark like a dog
McMahon: so what - people love dogs!
Amanpour: Dick how can you be losing this race?
Blumenthal: because don’t vote on the issues they vote for the person
Amanpour: you misled people about serving
in Vietnam
Blumenthal: true but I really did see ‘Platoon’ and ‘Apocalypse Now’
Amanpour: why should people vote for you?
Blumenthal: because professional wrestling is idiotic
Amanpour: and you Linda?
McMahon: because getting paid millions to
arrange for outrageously dressed muscular men in spandex to give each other consussions is the American dream
Amanpour: Talk austerity to me Christine
LaGarde: ve need to haf ze confidence
Amanpour: but economists say we need more stimulus
LaGarde: we did that in 2009 and unemployment is 9.3% which is tres bien
Amanpour: it seems like the poor are paying for the sins of the bankers
LaGarde: ve are taxing ze banks
Amanpour: can we prevent another worldwide financial meltdown?
LaGarde: ve don’t know because ze criminals
are tres agile
Amanpour: are markets run by crazy people?
LaGarde: ve must put zem in le straitjackets
Amanpour: will you raise the retirement age?
LaGarde: ess only 2 years
Amanpour: do women approach finance differently?
LaGarde: oui because eet is not all about le libido and making ze deal to have the sex
Amanpour: that sounds right
Amanpour: The U.S. apologized to Pakistan this week for bombing their country - whoops!!
Reporter: this leads to lack of support for the Pakistan government and hatred for the
United States
Audience: sounds great
Amanpour: the U.S. is accusing Pakistan of
not going after terrorists
Musharraf: oh no we are
Amanpour: then why is the U.S. bombing Pakistan?
Musharraf: hey we got our hands full - you don’t know what it’s like living in nation full of insane religious fanatics and people in politics with patently crazy anti-government ideas
Amanpour: I wouldn’t be to sure about that
Musharraf: we need to play “Let’s Make a Deal”
with the Taliban
Amanpour: not “Jeopardy”?
Amanpour: why are there so many terrorists in Pakistan?
Musharraf: hey get off our backs! Just leave
us alone!
Amanpour: Pakistanis don’t like the U.S.
Musharraf: well sure because the U.S. is bombing their country
Amanpour: are you going to run for President in 2013?
Musharraf: hey they could do worse than me -
and they have
Amanpour: but you’re in London
Musharraf: Yes I find for office in Pakistan from England cuts down on the assassination attempts
Amanpour: thanks for coming Pervez
Sunday, October 03, 2010
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - Debate on Islam - October 3, 2010
Guests:
Rev. Franklin Graham
Daisy Khan (Society for Muslim Advancement)
Peter Gadiel, (son killed on 9/11)
Donna O’Connor (daughter killed on 9/11)
Brad Garrett (ABC security expert)
Robert Spencer (Jihad Watch)
Osama Bahloul (Imam in Tennessee)
Azar Nafisi (author)
Reza Aslan (author)
Gary Bauer (activist)
Ayaan Hirsi Ali (activist)
Anjem Choudary (from London)
******************************
Amanpour: should Americans be terrified of Islam?
Gadiel: yes they’re very scary
O’Connor: we should fear all criminals be they muslims, professional athletes, investment bankers or members of Congress
Amanpour: Franklin G you say Islam is wicked
and evil
Graham: Muslims want to build mosques and convert people here and since I don’t have that freedom in muslim countries America should be
like them and take away freedom
Amanpour: I see
Graham: I love muslims - I just think they are satanic
Bahloul: the oldest Christian churches in the
world are in Egypt and Syria
Spencer: Muslims don’t respect women
which is terrible
Khan: there are muslims serving in the American armed forces and the NYPD
Nafisi: I fled Islam extremism in Iran - but I came to America seeking religious freedom not expecting more religious repression
Graham: well you chose wrong honey
Aslan: I must say I’m surprised to hear Graham say he wants to replicate Saudi law here in the
United States
Graham: look I was 8 years old when I first decided Islam was evil so I know what I’m talking about
- they burn churches!
Aslan: who is ‘they’ you idiotic bigot?
Nafisi: who is a real Christian - Sarah Palin,
Christine O’Donnell, Mel Gibson, the Pope?
Graham: oh sure single out the crazy ones
Amanpour: true
Graham: there are lots of wonderful muslims
Amanpour: then why do you say they are wicked
Graham: because Sharia law says you can beat your wife which Christians would never do
Khan: I quit a lucrative corporate career to
promote moderate Islam
Amanpour: that’s a hell of a choice
Khan: the terrorists didn’t just hijack a plane -
they hijacked a whole religion!
Choudary: let me just say that Islam has a solution for all of the problems that mankind faces
Amanpour: even 3-D movies?
Choudary: Allah condemns it!
Amanpour: what else?
Choudary: 9/11 was a reaction to US support for the Pirate state of Israel!
Amanpour: aye the torrrahhh
Choudary: I hate stereotyping - real Muslims must submit to the Creator!
Khan: I’m a real muslim too you twit
Choudary: hey Daisy you can’t be a vegetarian
and eat beef
Khan: hey dipshit who died and made you King of Islam?
Choudary: put on a burka baby
Graham: I like that dude
Choudary: let the flag of Islam fly over the
White House!
Graham: there you see what I mean - help help
I’m being repressed
O’Connnor: I’m no expert but it seems to me that there are good and bad people in all religions
Graham: they believe that Sharia should govern all the world which is a terrible attitude since we all know right-wing Christianity should rule America
Aslan: dudes get a room
Graham: young males come out of mosques and are all suicide bombers and they want to destroy America
Hirsi Ali: Islam has a political side and is
very very dangerous
Amanpour: should we be scared?
Garrett: terrorism is minor compared to real threats like Sharktopus or Michael Bay
Gadiel: I’m not saying Islam is evil - I’m just saying that we should be assume all Muslims are
secret terrorists who are planning to kill white Christian Americans
Amanpour: what about freedom?
Gadiel: How do we know Daisy Khan is not engaging in takia lying for the purpose of
furthering radical islam
Khan: this is shocking - I’m not a terrorist
Gadiel: why should I believe you?
Khan: you call me a murderer but you don’t know me or what takia even means
Gadiel: It means lying for the purpose of furthering your religion
Khan: why would I do that?
Gadiel: aren’t you instructed to do that?
Khan: no I’m not you moron
Gadiel: I just assumed - Christians do it all the time
Amanpour: are you saying she’s a terrorist?
Gadiel: no but I’m just saying we should drown her and if she floats she’s a witch
O’Connor: you ask for moderate muslims to step up and yet Daisy is moderate and you attack her
Khan: you make it hard for moderates when you call me an extremist and lump me in with Al Qaeda
Ali: you’re not a victim - you’re on tv
Khan: I’m not the one with a bodyguard Hirsi
Bauer: well she needs one and you don’t
Khan: oh I need one - I live in NYC
Bauer: New York City is a wonderful tolerant place which is why I despise it
Amanpour: right
Bauer: Muslims are inherently violent people
as we all know
Amanpour: so why not promote moderate muslims like those building a mosque near ground zero
Bauer: I like that mosque and believe that should be built anywhere in New York City -- except ground zero because that is where evil men worship death
Amanpour: enough about Dick Cheney
Bahloul: our mosque in Tennessee was vandalized and we’re peaceful people!
Bauer: so you claim
Amanpour: politicians are exploiting fear of Islam
Bauer: no Muslims are cheaply playing the
victim card
Amanpour: but does all the anti-muslim rhetoric
lead to violence?
Bauer: no because synagogues are being desecrated in Europe!
Spencer: Muslims are vandalizing their own mosques to make people feel sorry for them
- well we’re not going to fall for it ragheads!
Aslan: that asshole is crazy and a liar
Spencer: 80% of mosques are violent
Amanpour: where does this anti-Islam feeling
come from
Aslan: silly neo-nazis and bigots
Spencer: some guy somewhere a long time ago said something stupid therefore all muslims are bad
Amanpour: okay then
Amanpour: why are you opposed to a moderate community center in an old Burlington Coat factory in lower Manhattan
Gadiel: because radicals could take it over!
Amanpour: but is there any evidence that would happen?
Garrett: no
O’Connor: it’s not at Ground Zero and it’s not a mosque it’s a community center - but in any case this is supposed to be free country isn’t it?
Graham: this woman is throwing American values of freedom and liberty out at us - but we all know those are outdated
Khan: so now we have Muslims defending American freedom more than Franklin Graham!
Graham: they shouted Allah Akbar!
Amanpour: Daisy will you move the community center?
Khan: no because American values should prevail
Graham: harrumph!
Amanpour: and that’s the end of this
fascinating debate
Rev. Franklin Graham
Daisy Khan (Society for Muslim Advancement)
Peter Gadiel, (son killed on 9/11)
Donna O’Connor (daughter killed on 9/11)
Brad Garrett (ABC security expert)
Robert Spencer (Jihad Watch)
Osama Bahloul (Imam in Tennessee)
Azar Nafisi (author)
Reza Aslan (author)
Gary Bauer (activist)
Ayaan Hirsi Ali (activist)
Anjem Choudary (from London)
******************************
Amanpour: should Americans be terrified of Islam?
Gadiel: yes they’re very scary
O’Connor: we should fear all criminals be they muslims, professional athletes, investment bankers or members of Congress
Amanpour: Franklin G you say Islam is wicked
and evil
Graham: Muslims want to build mosques and convert people here and since I don’t have that freedom in muslim countries America should be
like them and take away freedom
Amanpour: I see
Graham: I love muslims - I just think they are satanic
Bahloul: the oldest Christian churches in the
world are in Egypt and Syria
Spencer: Muslims don’t respect women
which is terrible
Khan: there are muslims serving in the American armed forces and the NYPD
Nafisi: I fled Islam extremism in Iran - but I came to America seeking religious freedom not expecting more religious repression
Graham: well you chose wrong honey
Aslan: I must say I’m surprised to hear Graham say he wants to replicate Saudi law here in the
United States
Graham: look I was 8 years old when I first decided Islam was evil so I know what I’m talking about
- they burn churches!
Aslan: who is ‘they’ you idiotic bigot?
Nafisi: who is a real Christian - Sarah Palin,
Christine O’Donnell, Mel Gibson, the Pope?
Graham: oh sure single out the crazy ones
Amanpour: true
Graham: there are lots of wonderful muslims
Amanpour: then why do you say they are wicked
Graham: because Sharia law says you can beat your wife which Christians would never do
Khan: I quit a lucrative corporate career to
promote moderate Islam
Amanpour: that’s a hell of a choice
Khan: the terrorists didn’t just hijack a plane -
they hijacked a whole religion!
Choudary: let me just say that Islam has a solution for all of the problems that mankind faces
Amanpour: even 3-D movies?
Choudary: Allah condemns it!
Amanpour: what else?
Choudary: 9/11 was a reaction to US support for the Pirate state of Israel!
Amanpour: aye the torrrahhh
Choudary: I hate stereotyping - real Muslims must submit to the Creator!
Khan: I’m a real muslim too you twit
Choudary: hey Daisy you can’t be a vegetarian
and eat beef
Khan: hey dipshit who died and made you King of Islam?
Choudary: put on a burka baby
Graham: I like that dude
Choudary: let the flag of Islam fly over the
White House!
Graham: there you see what I mean - help help
I’m being repressed
O’Connnor: I’m no expert but it seems to me that there are good and bad people in all religions
Graham: they believe that Sharia should govern all the world which is a terrible attitude since we all know right-wing Christianity should rule America
Aslan: dudes get a room
Graham: young males come out of mosques and are all suicide bombers and they want to destroy America
Hirsi Ali: Islam has a political side and is
very very dangerous
Amanpour: should we be scared?
Garrett: terrorism is minor compared to real threats like Sharktopus or Michael Bay
Gadiel: I’m not saying Islam is evil - I’m just saying that we should be assume all Muslims are
secret terrorists who are planning to kill white Christian Americans
Amanpour: what about freedom?
Gadiel: How do we know Daisy Khan is not engaging in takia lying for the purpose of
furthering radical islam
Khan: this is shocking - I’m not a terrorist
Gadiel: why should I believe you?
Khan: you call me a murderer but you don’t know me or what takia even means
Gadiel: It means lying for the purpose of furthering your religion
Khan: why would I do that?
Gadiel: aren’t you instructed to do that?
Khan: no I’m not you moron
Gadiel: I just assumed - Christians do it all the time
Amanpour: are you saying she’s a terrorist?
Gadiel: no but I’m just saying we should drown her and if she floats she’s a witch
O’Connor: you ask for moderate muslims to step up and yet Daisy is moderate and you attack her
Khan: you make it hard for moderates when you call me an extremist and lump me in with Al Qaeda
Ali: you’re not a victim - you’re on tv
Khan: I’m not the one with a bodyguard Hirsi
Bauer: well she needs one and you don’t
Khan: oh I need one - I live in NYC
Bauer: New York City is a wonderful tolerant place which is why I despise it
Amanpour: right
Bauer: Muslims are inherently violent people
as we all know
Amanpour: so why not promote moderate muslims like those building a mosque near ground zero
Bauer: I like that mosque and believe that should be built anywhere in New York City -- except ground zero because that is where evil men worship death
Amanpour: enough about Dick Cheney
Bahloul: our mosque in Tennessee was vandalized and we’re peaceful people!
Bauer: so you claim
Amanpour: politicians are exploiting fear of Islam
Bauer: no Muslims are cheaply playing the
victim card
Amanpour: but does all the anti-muslim rhetoric
lead to violence?
Bauer: no because synagogues are being desecrated in Europe!
Spencer: Muslims are vandalizing their own mosques to make people feel sorry for them
- well we’re not going to fall for it ragheads!
Aslan: that asshole is crazy and a liar
Spencer: 80% of mosques are violent
Amanpour: where does this anti-Islam feeling
come from
Aslan: silly neo-nazis and bigots
Spencer: some guy somewhere a long time ago said something stupid therefore all muslims are bad
Amanpour: okay then
Amanpour: why are you opposed to a moderate community center in an old Burlington Coat factory in lower Manhattan
Gadiel: because radicals could take it over!
Amanpour: but is there any evidence that would happen?
Garrett: no
O’Connor: it’s not at Ground Zero and it’s not a mosque it’s a community center - but in any case this is supposed to be free country isn’t it?
Graham: this woman is throwing American values of freedom and liberty out at us - but we all know those are outdated
Khan: so now we have Muslims defending American freedom more than Franklin Graham!
Graham: they shouted Allah Akbar!
Amanpour: Daisy will you move the community center?
Khan: no because American values should prevail
Graham: harrumph!
Amanpour: and that’s the end of this
fascinating debate
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Meet The Press - September 26, 2010
Guests:
Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD)
Rep. Mike Pence (R-NV)
Arne Duncan (Sec. of Education)
Randi Weingarten (American Fed. Of Teachers)
Michelle Rhee (Chancellor DC Schools)
Robert Bobb (Manager Detroit schools)
*********************************
Gregory: are you going to vote on taxes before the election - after all that’s a good way for people to judge whether they like what you’re doing -
to you know do something
Van Hollen: the GOP is holding tax cuts for the middle class hostage so they can give their rich friends a trillion dollars
Pence: there should be no higher taxes on anybody!
Gregory: I like it
Pence: the rich are the job creators - the peons should be grateful for the crumbs they get!
Gregory: you claim to care about the debt -
so how do you pay for tax cuts
Pence: fuck the debt - we need to cut taxes for billionaires now!
Van Hollen: we cut taxes for the rich 10 years ago and it ruined the economy
Gregory: [ sobs ]
Van Hollen: how the fuck does Price Waterhouse qualify as a small business??
Pence: he’s right about the Bush tax cuts causing a recession -- because they didn’t cut taxes enough!
Gregory: are you serious?
Pence: we can save 100 billion this year by cutting spending for Fannie Mae and TARP
Van Hollen: we tried to cut taxes for small business and the GOP said no
Pence: oh that was a long time ago
Van Hollen: it was last Thursday!
Gregory: Jon Stewart pointed out Republicans have no new ideas
Pence: we have brand new idea like ending bailouts for Wall Street
Gregory: Republicans are the ones who bailed
out Wall Street!
Pence: I know - but that was before
Gregory: TARP was temporary program put in by a Republican President - it’s like Al Gore running against blowjobs
Pence: that’s makes it new - in 2010 the GOP
pledges to undo what the GOP did in 2008!
Van Hollen: that’s fucking hilarious
Gregory: what’s ironic is Bush’s TARP probably saved the America financial system
Pence: we don’t want to talk about GOP failures of the past 25 years - this time we really really mean we’re going to be responsible with your money
Gregory: what painful choices are you prepared
to make?
Pence: eliminate Social Security for anybody
under 40
Gregory: it seems the Republicans have bad ideas but Democrats have no ideas
Van Hollen: not at all - we have exciting proposals like cracking down on weak Chinese currency
Gregory: man the barricades!
Pence: we’re going to end earmaking as we know it
Van Hollen: we’re going to end outsourcing as we know it
Gregory: you both present a compelling case
for not voting
[ break ]
Gregory: welcome back - the whole county is talking about the movie “Waiting For Superman” which points out what people already know which is that American schools suck
Duncan: we spent the last 25 years ignoring problems in schools
Gregory: so like every other aspect of American life
Duncan: we’re reforming education by raising standards and creating charter schools which suck in new and innovative ways
Rhee: we’ve so much progress I’m about to
lose my job
Bobb: Although we didn’t win Obama’s school money lottery we’re doing really well in Michigan
Gregory: Bush deserves credit for inventing the idea of accountability
Audience: for everyone except him
Weingarten: testing is fine but the goal should be teaching and learning not just handing out tests
Gregory: Michelle you’re a wonderful person for firing teachers and closing schools and yet no one loves you
Rhee: we only fired the bad teachers
Gregory: Randi how could you sue Michelle -
she’s so adorable
Weingarten: we want teachers to have the tools to teach kids and reward the good teachers
Rhee: we identified highly effective teachers and we’re going to double their salary to above the poverty line
Gregory: that sounds great - Arne why didn’t you campaign for Mayor Fenty and Michelle Rhee since they are such heroes for standing up to unions?
Duncan: are kidding - that guy is fucking toxic
Gregory: see that’s the problem - how can you and I beat the unions with that attitude
Bobb: damm right Fluffy - I get sued every damm day
Gregory: why?
Bobb: I closed 59 schools
Gregory: yikes
[ break ]
Gregory: how can we really get good teachers in the classroom like Mr. Kotter - he was awesome
Weingarten: look there is a learning curve
Gregory: I’m talking about horrible bad teachers which apparently are everywhere like Dolores Umbridge she's scary
Weingarten: it’s starting to happen for the first time
Rhee: hey we tried to fire the truly bad teachers and we got slapped down - stop fighting us with
the bad teachers!
Gregory: this is the whole thing! All we need are good teachers and America will turn around
Rhee: right!
Gregory: But Bob Bobb how can we crush the unions with getting the unions all mad at us and
end up with horse’s heads in our beds?
Bobb: teacher evaluations systems with trap doors if they go below a threshold
Duncan: we need to have the courage to stand
up to unions
Weingarten: instead of only firing teachers maybe we should try to develop good teachers
Gregory: Colorado has the death penalty for bad teachers - do you support that Randi?
Weingarten: we support fair evaluations Fluffy
Gregory: is Mark Zuckerberg Superman?
Duncan: he’s awesome
Gregory: I’m just an idiot with a bad tv show-
Duncan: that’s very true
Gregory: but what can I do?
Rhee: call your local politician and demand
he hire me
Gregory: if you’re driving by a local school and don’t have kids just walk right in
Duncan: actually we don’t encourage strange men to wander around elementary schools Fluffy
Gregory: what nonsense I’m sure they’d love it
**************************************
Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD)
Rep. Mike Pence (R-NV)
Arne Duncan (Sec. of Education)
Randi Weingarten (American Fed. Of Teachers)
Michelle Rhee (Chancellor DC Schools)
Robert Bobb (Manager Detroit schools)
*********************************
Gregory: are you going to vote on taxes before the election - after all that’s a good way for people to judge whether they like what you’re doing -
to you know do something
Van Hollen: the GOP is holding tax cuts for the middle class hostage so they can give their rich friends a trillion dollars
Pence: there should be no higher taxes on anybody!
Gregory: I like it
Pence: the rich are the job creators - the peons should be grateful for the crumbs they get!
Gregory: you claim to care about the debt -
so how do you pay for tax cuts
Pence: fuck the debt - we need to cut taxes for billionaires now!
Van Hollen: we cut taxes for the rich 10 years ago and it ruined the economy
Gregory: [ sobs ]
Van Hollen: how the fuck does Price Waterhouse qualify as a small business??
Pence: he’s right about the Bush tax cuts causing a recession -- because they didn’t cut taxes enough!
Gregory: are you serious?
Pence: we can save 100 billion this year by cutting spending for Fannie Mae and TARP
Van Hollen: we tried to cut taxes for small business and the GOP said no
Pence: oh that was a long time ago
Van Hollen: it was last Thursday!
Gregory: Jon Stewart pointed out Republicans have no new ideas
Pence: we have brand new idea like ending bailouts for Wall Street
Gregory: Republicans are the ones who bailed
out Wall Street!
Pence: I know - but that was before
Gregory: TARP was temporary program put in by a Republican President - it’s like Al Gore running against blowjobs
Pence: that’s makes it new - in 2010 the GOP
pledges to undo what the GOP did in 2008!
Van Hollen: that’s fucking hilarious
Gregory: what’s ironic is Bush’s TARP probably saved the America financial system
Pence: we don’t want to talk about GOP failures of the past 25 years - this time we really really mean we’re going to be responsible with your money
Gregory: what painful choices are you prepared
to make?
Pence: eliminate Social Security for anybody
under 40
Gregory: it seems the Republicans have bad ideas but Democrats have no ideas
Van Hollen: not at all - we have exciting proposals like cracking down on weak Chinese currency
Gregory: man the barricades!
Pence: we’re going to end earmaking as we know it
Van Hollen: we’re going to end outsourcing as we know it
Gregory: you both present a compelling case
for not voting
[ break ]
Gregory: welcome back - the whole county is talking about the movie “Waiting For Superman” which points out what people already know which is that American schools suck
Duncan: we spent the last 25 years ignoring problems in schools
Gregory: so like every other aspect of American life
Duncan: we’re reforming education by raising standards and creating charter schools which suck in new and innovative ways
Rhee: we’ve so much progress I’m about to
lose my job
Bobb: Although we didn’t win Obama’s school money lottery we’re doing really well in Michigan
Gregory: Bush deserves credit for inventing the idea of accountability
Audience: for everyone except him
Weingarten: testing is fine but the goal should be teaching and learning not just handing out tests
Gregory: Michelle you’re a wonderful person for firing teachers and closing schools and yet no one loves you
Rhee: we only fired the bad teachers
Gregory: Randi how could you sue Michelle -
she’s so adorable
Weingarten: we want teachers to have the tools to teach kids and reward the good teachers
Rhee: we identified highly effective teachers and we’re going to double their salary to above the poverty line
Gregory: that sounds great - Arne why didn’t you campaign for Mayor Fenty and Michelle Rhee since they are such heroes for standing up to unions?
Duncan: are kidding - that guy is fucking toxic
Gregory: see that’s the problem - how can you and I beat the unions with that attitude
Bobb: damm right Fluffy - I get sued every damm day
Gregory: why?
Bobb: I closed 59 schools
Gregory: yikes
[ break ]
Gregory: how can we really get good teachers in the classroom like Mr. Kotter - he was awesome
Weingarten: look there is a learning curve
Gregory: I’m talking about horrible bad teachers which apparently are everywhere like Dolores Umbridge she's scary
Weingarten: it’s starting to happen for the first time
Rhee: hey we tried to fire the truly bad teachers and we got slapped down - stop fighting us with
the bad teachers!
Gregory: this is the whole thing! All we need are good teachers and America will turn around
Rhee: right!
Gregory: But Bob Bobb how can we crush the unions with getting the unions all mad at us and
end up with horse’s heads in our beds?
Bobb: teacher evaluations systems with trap doors if they go below a threshold
Duncan: we need to have the courage to stand
up to unions
Weingarten: instead of only firing teachers maybe we should try to develop good teachers
Gregory: Colorado has the death penalty for bad teachers - do you support that Randi?
Weingarten: we support fair evaluations Fluffy
Gregory: is Mark Zuckerberg Superman?
Duncan: he’s awesome
Gregory: I’m just an idiot with a bad tv show-
Duncan: that’s very true
Gregory: but what can I do?
Rhee: call your local politician and demand
he hire me
Gregory: if you’re driving by a local school and don’t have kids just walk right in
Duncan: actually we don’t encourage strange men to wander around elementary schools Fluffy
Gregory: what nonsense I’m sure they’d love it
**************************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - September 26, 2010
Guests:
David Axelrod - Presidential advisor
Sen. Mitch McConnell - (R-KY)
*************************************
Amanpour: can you keep Middle East peace
on track?
Axelrod: we’re going to urge them to keep trying
Amanpour: that doesn’t sound too promising
Axelrod: hey it’s Israel and Palestine you trying getting those lunkheads to agree on anything
Amanpour: could there be a war?
Axelrod: you never know Christiane
Amanpour: everyone is talking about this famous woman who said she is exhausted of defending Obama and is not happy
Axelrod: well she’s right - the middle class got hammered all through the last 10 years and it
ended with a Great Recession
Amanpour: why do people seem to dislike Obama
Axelrod: Because we’re still in a really bad economy - I mean really fucking bad
Amanpour: Bill Clinton says Obama should ask for
two more years and them admit failure
Axelrod: well he’s right that electing the GOP would finally push America off the edge
Amanpour: for the love of god why did Congress put off cutting taxes before the election - are you stupid or insane?
Axelrod: those mean Republicans are holding Obama hostage
Amanpour: that’s quite a metaphor
Axelrod: no he’s actually being held hostage - they’ve asked for piazzas and a negotiating team
Amanpour: If you can’t get it done now how can it be done after you lose the election
Axelrod: we’re playing chicken with Mitch McConnell and we like our odds
Amanpour: Gen. Petraeus called you a ‘spin doctor’
Axelrod: I was in the that band in 1993 and wrote “Two Princes”
Amanpour: oh I didn’t know that
Axelrod: [ plays air guitar ]
Amanpour: Is Rahm finally getting the fuck out?
Axelrod: yeah thank god
[ break ]
Amanpour: Greetings crazy man are you really going to borrow more money just give it to billionaires?
McConnell: you can’t raise taxes in a recession!
Amanpour: will you hold the middle taxes hostage
to that nutty idea
McConnell: Chris it’s not me - it’s Blue Dogs who won’t even let a bill come to the floor
Amanpour: if you do that if you ever want to cut the debt you would have eliminate all of government
McConnell: cut taxes for the rich and the economy will explode
Amanpour: but that’s not about what you would cut
McConnell: well the Catfood Commission may give us permission to cut Social Security
Amanpour: Erik Erikson hates your Pledge to America
McConnell: [ laughs ]
Amanpour: why are you laughing?
McConnell: he’s an damn idiot
Amanpour: but can you satisfy the Tea Party?
McConnell: The Democrats have been in charge of the government for a year and half and we know that all the Tea Partiers will vote Republican
Amanpour: But the Tea Partiers claim to hate both parties equally
McConnell: [ snorts ]
Amanpour: you nominated a lunatic for the Senate
in Delaware
McConnell: she’s an adorable little freak
Amanpour: how is she qualified?
McConnell: she won a primary and that’s enough
Amanpour: Sharron Angle thinks we need an armed rebellion - isn’t that bizarre?
McConnell: no what is freaky and bizarre is aiding auto companies and fixing student loans
Amanpour: oh I see - you’re as crazy as she is
McConnell: I never dabbled in witchcraft although I was loyal servant to Lord Voldemort
Amanpour: but if these people are elected our country will go to hell
McConnell: no Obama will still be there thankfully
Amanpour: of course
[ break ]
Amanpour: Queen tell me about Middle East peace
Raina: I’m not saying that the middle east is all rainbows and gumdrops but the explosive situation with the Palestinians and Israel sure doesn’t damn well help
Amanpour: I hear you your majesty
Raina: both sides need hope and change
Amanpour: uh oh
Raina: look people may not like Obama but he’s miles better than Chicken Caesar
Amanpour: what about the 9/11 mosque
Raina: those are the good muslims
Amanpour: do you worry that people think Osama bin Laden represents all muslims?
Raina: right it’s crazy - people around the world think of America as a beacon of freedom - or we used to
Amanpour: But why do people think muslims
are violent
Raina: We need to do a better job showing there are bad ones as well as happy peaceful muslims just like with other religions whether it’s Christianity, Judaism, Catholicism or The Force
Amanpour: Anakin doesn’t represent all Jedi
Raina: Exactly
Amanpour: Does Islam disempower women?
Raina: Yes - women are graduating from university but they can’t get jobs because of thick-headed men - although that’s not Islam it’s just assholes
Amanpour: oh yeah we those everywhere
[ high fives Raina ]
David Axelrod - Presidential advisor
Sen. Mitch McConnell - (R-KY)
*************************************
Amanpour: can you keep Middle East peace
on track?
Axelrod: we’re going to urge them to keep trying
Amanpour: that doesn’t sound too promising
Axelrod: hey it’s Israel and Palestine you trying getting those lunkheads to agree on anything
Amanpour: could there be a war?
Axelrod: you never know Christiane
Amanpour: everyone is talking about this famous woman who said she is exhausted of defending Obama and is not happy
Axelrod: well she’s right - the middle class got hammered all through the last 10 years and it
ended with a Great Recession
Amanpour: why do people seem to dislike Obama
Axelrod: Because we’re still in a really bad economy - I mean really fucking bad
Amanpour: Bill Clinton says Obama should ask for
two more years and them admit failure
Axelrod: well he’s right that electing the GOP would finally push America off the edge
Amanpour: for the love of god why did Congress put off cutting taxes before the election - are you stupid or insane?
Axelrod: those mean Republicans are holding Obama hostage
Amanpour: that’s quite a metaphor
Axelrod: no he’s actually being held hostage - they’ve asked for piazzas and a negotiating team
Amanpour: If you can’t get it done now how can it be done after you lose the election
Axelrod: we’re playing chicken with Mitch McConnell and we like our odds
Amanpour: Gen. Petraeus called you a ‘spin doctor’
Axelrod: I was in the that band in 1993 and wrote “Two Princes”
Amanpour: oh I didn’t know that
Axelrod: [ plays air guitar ]
Amanpour: Is Rahm finally getting the fuck out?
Axelrod: yeah thank god
[ break ]
Amanpour: Greetings crazy man are you really going to borrow more money just give it to billionaires?
McConnell: you can’t raise taxes in a recession!
Amanpour: will you hold the middle taxes hostage
to that nutty idea
McConnell: Chris it’s not me - it’s Blue Dogs who won’t even let a bill come to the floor
Amanpour: if you do that if you ever want to cut the debt you would have eliminate all of government
McConnell: cut taxes for the rich and the economy will explode
Amanpour: but that’s not about what you would cut
McConnell: well the Catfood Commission may give us permission to cut Social Security
Amanpour: Erik Erikson hates your Pledge to America
McConnell: [ laughs ]
Amanpour: why are you laughing?
McConnell: he’s an damn idiot
Amanpour: but can you satisfy the Tea Party?
McConnell: The Democrats have been in charge of the government for a year and half and we know that all the Tea Partiers will vote Republican
Amanpour: But the Tea Partiers claim to hate both parties equally
McConnell: [ snorts ]
Amanpour: you nominated a lunatic for the Senate
in Delaware
McConnell: she’s an adorable little freak
Amanpour: how is she qualified?
McConnell: she won a primary and that’s enough
Amanpour: Sharron Angle thinks we need an armed rebellion - isn’t that bizarre?
McConnell: no what is freaky and bizarre is aiding auto companies and fixing student loans
Amanpour: oh I see - you’re as crazy as she is
McConnell: I never dabbled in witchcraft although I was loyal servant to Lord Voldemort
Amanpour: but if these people are elected our country will go to hell
McConnell: no Obama will still be there thankfully
Amanpour: of course
[ break ]
Amanpour: Queen tell me about Middle East peace
Raina: I’m not saying that the middle east is all rainbows and gumdrops but the explosive situation with the Palestinians and Israel sure doesn’t damn well help
Amanpour: I hear you your majesty
Raina: both sides need hope and change
Amanpour: uh oh
Raina: look people may not like Obama but he’s miles better than Chicken Caesar
Amanpour: what about the 9/11 mosque
Raina: those are the good muslims
Amanpour: do you worry that people think Osama bin Laden represents all muslims?
Raina: right it’s crazy - people around the world think of America as a beacon of freedom - or we used to
Amanpour: But why do people think muslims
are violent
Raina: We need to do a better job showing there are bad ones as well as happy peaceful muslims just like with other religions whether it’s Christianity, Judaism, Catholicism or The Force
Amanpour: Anakin doesn’t represent all Jedi
Raina: Exactly
Amanpour: Does Islam disempower women?
Raina: Yes - women are graduating from university but they can’t get jobs because of thick-headed men - although that’s not Islam it’s just assholes
Amanpour: oh yeah we those everywhere
[ high fives Raina ]
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Meet The Press - September 19, 2010
Guests:
Colin Powell
Bill Clinton
**************
Gregory: Colin has Republican party gone completely insane?
Powell: It’s a fascinating group of angry people but I think they need more than slogans like ‘Taxpayers are Jews for Obama’s Ovens’
Gregory: Mike Bloomerg says they are fad like hula hoops, pet rocks or suspending habeus corpus
Powell: but they might have bizarre staying power - they could be the Rubik’s Cube of politics
Gregory: no one can figure either one out
Powell: right
Gregory: Rush Limbaugh says you are not hate-filled or crazy enough
Powell: I don’t care what that obese drug addict
has to say
Gregory: but no one in the GOP likes you
Powell: jesus fuck if the GOP has any future we
can’t be anti-immigration
Gregory: but you’re biased - you're Jamaican
Powell: we’re going to be a brown nation in
a few years
Gregory: Mitt Romney says we need to crack Mexican skulls
Powell: criminy immigrants come here to
do hard work
Gregory: and behead our men and defile
our white women
Powell: I’m telling my fellow republicans to get with the program and stop acting stupid
Gregory: have you thought about leaving the party?
Powell: no why should I?
Gregory: because they’ve gone completely insane
Powell: true - but we need two parties to slow down the Biden juggunaut
Gregory: It’s Palin’s party now
Powell: it’s fine to criticize the President but try to use your brain once in a while
Gregory: Gingrich says Obama is a Marxist
Kenyan con man
Powell: this is all bullshit nonsense and it makes Republicans look racist and stupid
Gregory: why is this happening?
Powell: because you report on it and does appeal to the fringe elements of the party
Gregory: Like the recent Vice President nominee
Powell: it might be good for the GOP and Obama if Republicans took the House
Gregory: why?
Powell: it would force them to take responsibility and make Obama focus on employment
Gregory: what more should Obama do to reach out to Republicans?
Powell: He could not be black
Gregory: You totally fucked up in Afghanistan
Powell: true but Obama may pull our chestnuts out of that fire
Gregory: lucky you
Powell: but the Karzai government is corrupt
Gregory: oh now you figure that out
Gregory: should we attack Iran?
Powell: no we should contain them with rigid
IAEA inspections
Gregory: gee we could have tried that in Iraq
Gregory: will you endorse Obama in 2012?
Powell: well the GOP crashed the economy and
I thought Obama would prevent a Depression and he did
Gregory: but he has not transformed America
or given me a unicorn
Powell: give him time - he enacted an pretty transformational health care plan-
Gregory: -but no rainbows or lollipops
Powell: so the GOP treats him like a dog - how do you think I feel? Suck it up!!
[ break ]
Gregory: Bill what do you make of the Tea Party?
Clinton: some of them are legitimately angry and have good instincts - they think the wealthy and powerful benefit by causing economic problems
and they’re right
Gregory: interesting
Clinton: but the question is what we are going to do about it - I heard one guy thinks unemployment compensation is unconstitutional
Gregory: what do you think of Christine O’Donnell?
Clinton: She’s hot
Gregory: what about her ideas?
Clinton: if tea partiers are against financial elites are they in favor of the Wall Street reform bill or against it - we don’t know
Gregory: Newt Gingrich says Obama is a secret anti-colonialist spy who will give America away to the Kenya Mau Mau Empire
Clinton: he also said when Susan Smith drowned her children it was my fault
Gregory: he does have a way with words
Gregory: what’s up with the Clinton Global Initiative?
Clinton: we get every attendee to make a commitment to women - I certainly will
Gregory: what about poverty here in America?
Clinton: Fluffy for the first time in my lifetime there are job openings not being filled because people are trapped in the underwater homes and are not trained to do the jobs
Gregory: it seems like Haiti is real basket case
Clinton: one third of the country was wrecked and it wasn’t exactly Monaco to begin with
Gregory: fair point
Clinton: and they’re having an election in the aftermath an earthquake which is not easy
Gregory: speaking of that what about our
2010 election?
Clinton: the problem is that Democrats didn’t solve all the problems the Republicans created
Gregory: I noticed that
Clinton: It took 8 years to create the devastation we are living in now
Gregory: well you’ve had 21 months and you
failed so you suck
Clinton: Bring it On Fluffy
Gregory: why is the health care bill so unpopular
Clinton: we give a trillion dollars to insurance companies every year and they spend part of that on propaganda and lies
Gregory: you make the case better than Obama does
Clinton: I am the Big Dog
Gregory: so what’s the solution?
Clinton: shake the voters out of their apathy and tell people the Republicans are bad for America
Gregory: are you too thin?
Clinton: ha - I am too thin, too rich, too popular and just too damm awesome!
Gregory: Thanks Bill - and now a look back at
Edwin Newman and when real journalists hosted Meet The Press
Audience: [ sobs ]
****************************
Colin Powell
Bill Clinton
**************
Gregory: Colin has Republican party gone completely insane?
Powell: It’s a fascinating group of angry people but I think they need more than slogans like ‘Taxpayers are Jews for Obama’s Ovens’
Gregory: Mike Bloomerg says they are fad like hula hoops, pet rocks or suspending habeus corpus
Powell: but they might have bizarre staying power - they could be the Rubik’s Cube of politics
Gregory: no one can figure either one out
Powell: right
Gregory: Rush Limbaugh says you are not hate-filled or crazy enough
Powell: I don’t care what that obese drug addict
has to say
Gregory: but no one in the GOP likes you
Powell: jesus fuck if the GOP has any future we
can’t be anti-immigration
Gregory: but you’re biased - you're Jamaican
Powell: we’re going to be a brown nation in
a few years
Gregory: Mitt Romney says we need to crack Mexican skulls
Powell: criminy immigrants come here to
do hard work
Gregory: and behead our men and defile
our white women
Powell: I’m telling my fellow republicans to get with the program and stop acting stupid
Gregory: have you thought about leaving the party?
Powell: no why should I?
Gregory: because they’ve gone completely insane
Powell: true - but we need two parties to slow down the Biden juggunaut
Gregory: It’s Palin’s party now
Powell: it’s fine to criticize the President but try to use your brain once in a while
Gregory: Gingrich says Obama is a Marxist
Kenyan con man
Powell: this is all bullshit nonsense and it makes Republicans look racist and stupid
Gregory: why is this happening?
Powell: because you report on it and does appeal to the fringe elements of the party
Gregory: Like the recent Vice President nominee
Powell: it might be good for the GOP and Obama if Republicans took the House
Gregory: why?
Powell: it would force them to take responsibility and make Obama focus on employment
Gregory: what more should Obama do to reach out to Republicans?
Powell: He could not be black
Gregory: You totally fucked up in Afghanistan
Powell: true but Obama may pull our chestnuts out of that fire
Gregory: lucky you
Powell: but the Karzai government is corrupt
Gregory: oh now you figure that out
Gregory: should we attack Iran?
Powell: no we should contain them with rigid
IAEA inspections
Gregory: gee we could have tried that in Iraq
Gregory: will you endorse Obama in 2012?
Powell: well the GOP crashed the economy and
I thought Obama would prevent a Depression and he did
Gregory: but he has not transformed America
or given me a unicorn
Powell: give him time - he enacted an pretty transformational health care plan-
Gregory: -but no rainbows or lollipops
Powell: so the GOP treats him like a dog - how do you think I feel? Suck it up!!
[ break ]
Gregory: Bill what do you make of the Tea Party?
Clinton: some of them are legitimately angry and have good instincts - they think the wealthy and powerful benefit by causing economic problems
and they’re right
Gregory: interesting
Clinton: but the question is what we are going to do about it - I heard one guy thinks unemployment compensation is unconstitutional
Gregory: what do you think of Christine O’Donnell?
Clinton: She’s hot
Gregory: what about her ideas?
Clinton: if tea partiers are against financial elites are they in favor of the Wall Street reform bill or against it - we don’t know
Gregory: Newt Gingrich says Obama is a secret anti-colonialist spy who will give America away to the Kenya Mau Mau Empire
Clinton: he also said when Susan Smith drowned her children it was my fault
Gregory: he does have a way with words
Gregory: what’s up with the Clinton Global Initiative?
Clinton: we get every attendee to make a commitment to women - I certainly will
Gregory: what about poverty here in America?
Clinton: Fluffy for the first time in my lifetime there are job openings not being filled because people are trapped in the underwater homes and are not trained to do the jobs
Gregory: it seems like Haiti is real basket case
Clinton: one third of the country was wrecked and it wasn’t exactly Monaco to begin with
Gregory: fair point
Clinton: and they’re having an election in the aftermath an earthquake which is not easy
Gregory: speaking of that what about our
2010 election?
Clinton: the problem is that Democrats didn’t solve all the problems the Republicans created
Gregory: I noticed that
Clinton: It took 8 years to create the devastation we are living in now
Gregory: well you’ve had 21 months and you
failed so you suck
Clinton: Bring it On Fluffy
Gregory: why is the health care bill so unpopular
Clinton: we give a trillion dollars to insurance companies every year and they spend part of that on propaganda and lies
Gregory: you make the case better than Obama does
Clinton: I am the Big Dog
Gregory: so what’s the solution?
Clinton: shake the voters out of their apathy and tell people the Republicans are bad for America
Gregory: are you too thin?
Clinton: ha - I am too thin, too rich, too popular and just too damm awesome!
Gregory: Thanks Bill - and now a look back at
Edwin Newman and when real journalists hosted Meet The Press
Audience: [ sobs ]
****************************
This Week - September 19, 2010
Guests:
Hillary Clinton - U.S. Secretary of State
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - President of Iran
**********************************
Amanpour: Hillary Bibi and Abbas are stubborn - can you make peace in the Middle East ?
Clinton: I’ve dealt with men acting like
jackasses before
Amanpour: what about the settlements?
Clinton: We’re leaning on Bibi
Amanpour: what are you doing
Clinton: we threatened to send Joe Biden to Israel
Amanpour: who is making the biggest leap of heart?
Clinton: Israel is threatened by Iran and the Palestinians are threatened by Israel so it
all works out
Amanpour: are you going to get Abbas on board?
Clinton: sure Obama called him and offered him a luxury box to all games at the new
Giants/Jets stadium
Amanpour: you’ll start a war
Amanpour: what about Lieberman?
Clinton: he’s a touchy lunatic with too
much power in the Senate
Amanpour: I meant Avigdor
Clinton: Oh him too
Amanpour: Is Iran going to build a nuke?
Clinton: they’re very scary
Amanpour: are they morphing into a dictatorship?
Clinton: that was the worst election since the
Florida Brooks Brothers Riot
Amanpour: what about human rights in Iran?
Clinton: when Obama came into office he extended his hand to the religious zealots and political
crazies and it’s clear they are not interested in rational dialogue
Amanpour: we’ll get to the Republicans later
Amanpour: progressives still aren’t sure Obama is on their side since you send so many mixed signals
Clinton: are we talking about the U.S. or Iran?
Amanpour: either one
Amanpour: Ahmadinejad says the sanctions are
as worthless as a used hankie
Clinton: the sanctions are like him - they’re a tool
[ break ]
Amanpour: you released one hiker but what about the others
Ahmadinejad what about all Iranians held by
the U.S. government
Amanpour: are you saying the hikers are only hostages?
Ahmadinejad: I prefer the term bargaining chips
Amanpour: their mothers are very upset
Ahmadinejad so is mine
Amanpour: how is your nuclear bomb going?
Ahmadinejad: we’ve got cameras everywhere
- our nuclear program is like a reality tv show
Amanpour: “The Real Leaders of Iran?”
Ahmadinejad: “Iran’s Got Nukes”
Amanpour: So You Think Can Fool the IAEA
Ahmadinejad: the IAEA is controlled by the U.S.
Amanpour: um yeah ok
Ahmadinejad: we take the sanctions seriously
but they are a joke
Amanpour: right
Ahmadinejad: those harsh sanctions will create
a new era of growth in our economy!
Amanpour: that’s not what I heard Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad: in six months we’ll turn it around
Amanpour: oh my god - a Friedman Unit
Amanpour: you’re going to stone someone to death - that’s fucking crazy
Ahmadinejad: well it’s just one woman what’s
the big deal
Amanpour: now you see why people don’t trust you with nuclear bombs
Ahmadinejad: she was never going to be stoned - it’s all made-up propaganda
Amanpour: is that so
Ahmadinejad: it’s the fault of the United States they’re always saying mean things about us
Amanpour: executions are up 400 percent
Ahmadinejad: I’m making a fascist omlette so I gotta crack a few eggs Christiane
Amanpour: are you going to prosecute your
political opponents
Ahmadinejad: no no those are all independent judges
Amanpour: you are an amazing liar
Ahmadinejad: thanks very much
Amanpour: Fidel Castro called you an anti-semitic whacko
Ahmadinejad: I defer to his big beard
Amanpour: why is Iran becoming so militarized?
Ahmadinejad: you mean like Iraq and Afghanistan?
Amanpour: Will you engage in talks with the U.S. government?
Ahmadinejad I friended Obama on Facebook but did he write back? No!
Amanpour: I’m sorry to hear that
Ahmadinejad : he won’t even follow me on twitter!
Amanpour: I’ll follow you mahmoud
Ahmadinejad: thnx chris ill follow U 2 LOL :)
***********************
Hillary Clinton - U.S. Secretary of State
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - President of Iran
**********************************
Amanpour: Hillary Bibi and Abbas are stubborn - can you make peace in the Middle East ?
Clinton: I’ve dealt with men acting like
jackasses before
Amanpour: what about the settlements?
Clinton: We’re leaning on Bibi
Amanpour: what are you doing
Clinton: we threatened to send Joe Biden to Israel
Amanpour: who is making the biggest leap of heart?
Clinton: Israel is threatened by Iran and the Palestinians are threatened by Israel so it
all works out
Amanpour: are you going to get Abbas on board?
Clinton: sure Obama called him and offered him a luxury box to all games at the new
Giants/Jets stadium
Amanpour: you’ll start a war
Amanpour: what about Lieberman?
Clinton: he’s a touchy lunatic with too
much power in the Senate
Amanpour: I meant Avigdor
Clinton: Oh him too
Amanpour: Is Iran going to build a nuke?
Clinton: they’re very scary
Amanpour: are they morphing into a dictatorship?
Clinton: that was the worst election since the
Florida Brooks Brothers Riot
Amanpour: what about human rights in Iran?
Clinton: when Obama came into office he extended his hand to the religious zealots and political
crazies and it’s clear they are not interested in rational dialogue
Amanpour: we’ll get to the Republicans later
Amanpour: progressives still aren’t sure Obama is on their side since you send so many mixed signals
Clinton: are we talking about the U.S. or Iran?
Amanpour: either one
Amanpour: Ahmadinejad says the sanctions are
as worthless as a used hankie
Clinton: the sanctions are like him - they’re a tool
[ break ]
Amanpour: you released one hiker but what about the others
Ahmadinejad what about all Iranians held by
the U.S. government
Amanpour: are you saying the hikers are only hostages?
Ahmadinejad: I prefer the term bargaining chips
Amanpour: their mothers are very upset
Ahmadinejad so is mine
Amanpour: how is your nuclear bomb going?
Ahmadinejad: we’ve got cameras everywhere
- our nuclear program is like a reality tv show
Amanpour: “The Real Leaders of Iran?”
Ahmadinejad: “Iran’s Got Nukes”
Amanpour: So You Think Can Fool the IAEA
Ahmadinejad: the IAEA is controlled by the U.S.
Amanpour: um yeah ok
Ahmadinejad: we take the sanctions seriously
but they are a joke
Amanpour: right
Ahmadinejad: those harsh sanctions will create
a new era of growth in our economy!
Amanpour: that’s not what I heard Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad: in six months we’ll turn it around
Amanpour: oh my god - a Friedman Unit
Amanpour: you’re going to stone someone to death - that’s fucking crazy
Ahmadinejad: well it’s just one woman what’s
the big deal
Amanpour: now you see why people don’t trust you with nuclear bombs
Ahmadinejad: she was never going to be stoned - it’s all made-up propaganda
Amanpour: is that so
Ahmadinejad: it’s the fault of the United States they’re always saying mean things about us
Amanpour: executions are up 400 percent
Ahmadinejad: I’m making a fascist omlette so I gotta crack a few eggs Christiane
Amanpour: are you going to prosecute your
political opponents
Ahmadinejad: no no those are all independent judges
Amanpour: you are an amazing liar
Ahmadinejad: thanks very much
Amanpour: Fidel Castro called you an anti-semitic whacko
Ahmadinejad: I defer to his big beard
Amanpour: why is Iran becoming so militarized?
Ahmadinejad: you mean like Iraq and Afghanistan?
Amanpour: Will you engage in talks with the U.S. government?
Ahmadinejad I friended Obama on Facebook but did he write back? No!
Amanpour: I’m sorry to hear that
Ahmadinejad : he won’t even follow me on twitter!
Amanpour: I’ll follow you mahmoud
Ahmadinejad: thnx chris ill follow U 2 LOL :)
***********************
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Meet The Press - September 12, 2010
Guests:
David Axelrod
Rudy Giuliani
Reza Aslan
Ron Brownstein
Dee Dee Myers
Mike Murphy
*****************************
Gregory: can you fix the economy by November?
Axelrod: the American people don’t care about
the next election they want jobs
Gregory: isn’t it too little too late?
Axelrod: no we’ve been doing things all along
to spur the economy
Gregory: like what?
Axelrod: like new bridge and teachers and
a bill to expand lending
Gregory: how is that going?
Axelrod: the Senate is holding that up but we
are adding jobs
Gregory: but the President’s new stimulus bill can’t pass this year
Axelrod: why not - let’s move Fluffy!
Gregory: we had Recovery Summer but now we’re looking at Homeless Autumn
Axelrod: look we were losing 800,00 jobs a
month when we took office and now we’re finally adding jobs
Gregory: so why should people vote for you?
Axelrod: the GOP turned a surplus into a debt
and lost 4 million jobs
Gregory: when does unemployment finally go down
Axelrod: hey we saved 10 million jobs
Gregory: well fine but when does it go down
Axelrod: it took 10 years to create the problem and
it will take 10 years to fix it
Gregory: oh dear
Gregory: you passed the bills you wanted but
people are still pessimistic
Axelrod: look George Bush crashed American into a ditch and we’re slowly tying to get out of it
Gregory: but people have lost confidence in Obama
Axelrod: which people?
Gregory: all my rich friends
Axelrod: did you know John Boehner wants to ship all our jobs overseas and borrow money from our children to give more tax breaks to the rich
Gregory: will you please compromise and give me
a tax cut
Axelrod: we want to cut taxes for everyone up to $250,000
Gregory: that’s not very much
Axelrod: we can’t afford to cut taxes for the rich
Gregory: [ sobs ]
Gregory: why do people hate health care reform
Axelrod: they don’t but it’s not important
Gregory: then why did you spend so much time
on it?!
[ grins ]
Axelrod: hey if Republicans want to repeal health care let them campaign on it honestly
Gregory: I think that’s asking too much
Gregory: is Rahm running for Mayor of Chicago?
Axelrod: he’s focusing on failing as Chief of Staff - he has plenty of time later to fail at running for Mayor
Gregory: why is this mosque so controversial
Giuliani: it’s very offensive to put a religious center near scared ground
Gregory: I see
Giuliani: burning Korans and building religious centers are equivalent
Gregory: how so
Giuliani: it’s very insulting to build a center for interfaith dialogue without a big statute of Jesus
Gregory: what do you think of this Imam
Giuliani: he’s a Bad Imam - he won’t condemn Hamas and won’t tell me where his money comes from
Gregory: he said if we move the center it will only
fuel terrorism
Giuliani: those were very strong words
Gregory: but it’s true
Giuliani: help help I’m being threatened!
Gregory: the Imam is hurting the Holy Families of 9/11 - this center is very painful to them
Gregory: more than strip clubs and porn shops?
Giuliani: right those are sacred
Gregory: how come we can’t find Osama bin Laden?
Giuliani: we’re at war and we need to capture
their flag
Gregory: Ted Koppel says the goal of weak terrorists is to provoke an overreaction and the U.S. has played right into their hands
Giuliani: hey we were attacked when Clinton was President on 9/11 and then Bush went on offense and that prevented any more domestic attacks
which is awesome
Gregory: fascinating
Giuliani: Al Qaeda isn’t everywhere - we should attack South America once in while so they don’t
feel neglected
Gregory: did you believe the GOP is a big tent party and have tried to work with Obama
Giuliani: oh sure 10 Republicans would have voted for his health care bill if he had supported tort reform
Gregory: but has the GOP become a bunch of lunatics?
Giuliani: that’s not fair - the GOP is open to all kinds of crazy people from me to Sarah Palin
Gregory: who’s the leader of the GOP?
Giuliani: John Boehner
Gregory: he’s an oompa-loompa!
Giuliani: nobody’s perfect
[ break ]
Gregory: why is anti-Islam sentiment at an
all time high?
Aslan: Because politicians like Rudy Giuliani openly associate American muslims with terrorism
Gregory: he’s a politician
Aslan: he’s a bigot
Brownstein: without the moderating influence of George W. Bush the lid blew off the hidden bigotry
in the GOP
Gregory: but Americans are moving into homeless shelters - doesn’t that make people mad
Myers: yes but Republicans are out of power and they’ve seized on this issue to manipulate idiots and get votes
Murphy: the media is to blame for hyping this crazy pastor and for not pointing out that we’re not as bad as brutal theocracies
Gregory: it’s the economy stupid
Murphy: Obama has had absolute power for 2 years and he’s lost white people
Brownstein: people hate Republicans but they’re skeptical of team Obama
Aslan: well they’ve got 8 weeks to turn it around
Myers: time to cut some players and target specific seats
Murphy: people are mad at how crazy hard left liberal Obama is
Gregory: Meg Whitman is winning and she’s a Republican
Murphy: Jerry Brown is a highway to hell
Gregory: you work for Whitman
Murphy: oh like anyone cares about ethics on television - it’s like we’re bloggers
Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press
**********************************
David Axelrod
Rudy Giuliani
Reza Aslan
Ron Brownstein
Dee Dee Myers
Mike Murphy
*****************************
Gregory: can you fix the economy by November?
Axelrod: the American people don’t care about
the next election they want jobs
Gregory: isn’t it too little too late?
Axelrod: no we’ve been doing things all along
to spur the economy
Gregory: like what?
Axelrod: like new bridge and teachers and
a bill to expand lending
Gregory: how is that going?
Axelrod: the Senate is holding that up but we
are adding jobs
Gregory: but the President’s new stimulus bill can’t pass this year
Axelrod: why not - let’s move Fluffy!
Gregory: we had Recovery Summer but now we’re looking at Homeless Autumn
Axelrod: look we were losing 800,00 jobs a
month when we took office and now we’re finally adding jobs
Gregory: so why should people vote for you?
Axelrod: the GOP turned a surplus into a debt
and lost 4 million jobs
Gregory: when does unemployment finally go down
Axelrod: hey we saved 10 million jobs
Gregory: well fine but when does it go down
Axelrod: it took 10 years to create the problem and
it will take 10 years to fix it
Gregory: oh dear
Gregory: you passed the bills you wanted but
people are still pessimistic
Axelrod: look George Bush crashed American into a ditch and we’re slowly tying to get out of it
Gregory: but people have lost confidence in Obama
Axelrod: which people?
Gregory: all my rich friends
Axelrod: did you know John Boehner wants to ship all our jobs overseas and borrow money from our children to give more tax breaks to the rich
Gregory: will you please compromise and give me
a tax cut
Axelrod: we want to cut taxes for everyone up to $250,000
Gregory: that’s not very much
Axelrod: we can’t afford to cut taxes for the rich
Gregory: [ sobs ]
Gregory: why do people hate health care reform
Axelrod: they don’t but it’s not important
Gregory: then why did you spend so much time
on it?!
[ grins ]
Axelrod: hey if Republicans want to repeal health care let them campaign on it honestly
Gregory: I think that’s asking too much
Gregory: is Rahm running for Mayor of Chicago?
Axelrod: he’s focusing on failing as Chief of Staff - he has plenty of time later to fail at running for Mayor
Gregory: why is this mosque so controversial
Giuliani: it’s very offensive to put a religious center near scared ground
Gregory: I see
Giuliani: burning Korans and building religious centers are equivalent
Gregory: how so
Giuliani: it’s very insulting to build a center for interfaith dialogue without a big statute of Jesus
Gregory: what do you think of this Imam
Giuliani: he’s a Bad Imam - he won’t condemn Hamas and won’t tell me where his money comes from
Gregory: he said if we move the center it will only
fuel terrorism
Giuliani: those were very strong words
Gregory: but it’s true
Giuliani: help help I’m being threatened!
Gregory: the Imam is hurting the Holy Families of 9/11 - this center is very painful to them
Gregory: more than strip clubs and porn shops?
Giuliani: right those are sacred
Gregory: how come we can’t find Osama bin Laden?
Giuliani: we’re at war and we need to capture
their flag
Gregory: Ted Koppel says the goal of weak terrorists is to provoke an overreaction and the U.S. has played right into their hands
Giuliani: hey we were attacked when Clinton was President on 9/11 and then Bush went on offense and that prevented any more domestic attacks
which is awesome
Gregory: fascinating
Giuliani: Al Qaeda isn’t everywhere - we should attack South America once in while so they don’t
feel neglected
Gregory: did you believe the GOP is a big tent party and have tried to work with Obama
Giuliani: oh sure 10 Republicans would have voted for his health care bill if he had supported tort reform
Gregory: but has the GOP become a bunch of lunatics?
Giuliani: that’s not fair - the GOP is open to all kinds of crazy people from me to Sarah Palin
Gregory: who’s the leader of the GOP?
Giuliani: John Boehner
Gregory: he’s an oompa-loompa!
Giuliani: nobody’s perfect
[ break ]
Gregory: why is anti-Islam sentiment at an
all time high?
Aslan: Because politicians like Rudy Giuliani openly associate American muslims with terrorism
Gregory: he’s a politician
Aslan: he’s a bigot
Brownstein: without the moderating influence of George W. Bush the lid blew off the hidden bigotry
in the GOP
Gregory: but Americans are moving into homeless shelters - doesn’t that make people mad
Myers: yes but Republicans are out of power and they’ve seized on this issue to manipulate idiots and get votes
Murphy: the media is to blame for hyping this crazy pastor and for not pointing out that we’re not as bad as brutal theocracies
Gregory: it’s the economy stupid
Murphy: Obama has had absolute power for 2 years and he’s lost white people
Brownstein: people hate Republicans but they’re skeptical of team Obama
Aslan: well they’ve got 8 weeks to turn it around
Myers: time to cut some players and target specific seats
Murphy: people are mad at how crazy hard left liberal Obama is
Gregory: Meg Whitman is winning and she’s a Republican
Murphy: Jerry Brown is a highway to hell
Gregory: you work for Whitman
Murphy: oh like anyone cares about ethics on television - it’s like we’re bloggers
Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press
**********************************
ABC's This Week - September 12, 2010
Guest:
Austan Goolsbee - White House Economic Advisor
Imam Rauf
***************************
Amanpour: Rep Boehner says he wants to
cut taxes just like Obama
Goolsbee: we’ve heard that song and dance
before Christiane
Amanpour: how do you get blue dogs on board?
Goolsbee: start crackin skulls
Amanpour: awesome
Goolsbee: Boehner wants to repeal the stimulus which would raise taxes
Amanpour: Orzag says we should let the GOP
keep the Bush tax cuts for the rich
Goolsbee: that was a political column not an economic one
Amanpour: but he did say cutting taxes might
help consumer spending
Goolsbee: well Obama has cut taxes for the middle class again and again
Amanpour: did Obama open to door to keeping
cuts for the wealthy?
Goolsbee: no borrowing money to give billionaires $100,000 is the stupidest thing ever
Amanpour: what about unemployment?
Goolsbee: it’s going to stay high
Amanpour: that’s not good
Goolsbee: true but this has been a really bad recession
Amanpour: so how do we get out of it?
Goolsbee: get businesses to hire people
Amanpour: how?
Goolsbee: Old fashioned moxie!
Amanpour: oh my
[ break ]
Amanpour: will you still build your center even though some people crazy people don’t like it?
Rauf: Christiane the radicals around the world love this fight - they all feed off each other
Amanpour: so why not move the center to
another location?
Rauf: because it would piss people off around the world and threaten American soldiers
Amanpour: is that a threat
Rauf: no radicals around the world are watching
us though
Amanpour: should you have reached out more to the community and the 9/11 families?
Rauf: we reached out last year and no one objected until loony politicians seized on it
Amanpour: like Sarah Palin
Rauf: right - she’s playing up anti-islamic hate
Amanpour: but some Americans don’t like Muslims
Rauf: we are Americans!
Amanpour: what if that lunatic had burned Korans?
Rauf: it would have caused a disaster around the world
Amanpour: most Americans don’t have a positive view of Islam
Rauf: well fine but muslims love America and people around the world should know that
Amanpour: is it worse than 2001
Rauf: incredibly I think it is
Amanpour: oh my
*************************
Austan Goolsbee - White House Economic Advisor
Imam Rauf
***************************
Amanpour: Rep Boehner says he wants to
cut taxes just like Obama
Goolsbee: we’ve heard that song and dance
before Christiane
Amanpour: how do you get blue dogs on board?
Goolsbee: start crackin skulls
Amanpour: awesome
Goolsbee: Boehner wants to repeal the stimulus which would raise taxes
Amanpour: Orzag says we should let the GOP
keep the Bush tax cuts for the rich
Goolsbee: that was a political column not an economic one
Amanpour: but he did say cutting taxes might
help consumer spending
Goolsbee: well Obama has cut taxes for the middle class again and again
Amanpour: did Obama open to door to keeping
cuts for the wealthy?
Goolsbee: no borrowing money to give billionaires $100,000 is the stupidest thing ever
Amanpour: what about unemployment?
Goolsbee: it’s going to stay high
Amanpour: that’s not good
Goolsbee: true but this has been a really bad recession
Amanpour: so how do we get out of it?
Goolsbee: get businesses to hire people
Amanpour: how?
Goolsbee: Old fashioned moxie!
Amanpour: oh my
[ break ]
Amanpour: will you still build your center even though some people crazy people don’t like it?
Rauf: Christiane the radicals around the world love this fight - they all feed off each other
Amanpour: so why not move the center to
another location?
Rauf: because it would piss people off around the world and threaten American soldiers
Amanpour: is that a threat
Rauf: no radicals around the world are watching
us though
Amanpour: should you have reached out more to the community and the 9/11 families?
Rauf: we reached out last year and no one objected until loony politicians seized on it
Amanpour: like Sarah Palin
Rauf: right - she’s playing up anti-islamic hate
Amanpour: but some Americans don’t like Muslims
Rauf: we are Americans!
Amanpour: what if that lunatic had burned Korans?
Rauf: it would have caused a disaster around the world
Amanpour: most Americans don’t have a positive view of Islam
Rauf: well fine but muslims love America and people around the world should know that
Amanpour: is it worse than 2001
Rauf: incredibly I think it is
Amanpour: oh my
*************************
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Meet The Press - September 5, 2010
Meet The Press
September 5, 2010
Guests:
Sen. Graham (R-SC)
David Plouffe - Dem political strategist
E.J. Dionne
Charlie Cook
Erin Burnett
Rich Lowry
**************
Gregory: Lindsey President Obama says the economy is doing well but not well enough
Graham: now is not the time to raise taxes -
now is the time to cut taxes!
Gregory: what coincidence
Graham: also we need to eliminate the stimulus
and stop giving people health care
Gregory: so will you repeal the big health care bill or not
Graham: that’s not the point - why aren’t Democrats campaigning on it?
Gregory: why don’t you?
Graham: Obama is a communist
Gregory: if Republicans are so concerned about
the debt why cut taxes?
Graham: Rich people need lower taxes - some of them are having to install aquariums for less $500,000 - it’s so sad
Gregory: suppose Obama agreed to everything you want - would that make you happy?
Graham: I hope he does - but no
Gregory: why do you hate Obama so much
Graham: he raised the debt
Gregory: but your plans would make it worse
Graham: he’s governed from the left ditch
Gregory: so will you win in 2010?
Graham: if we call Obama a debt-raising sleazy socialist we win
Gregory: awesome - so you will take the House
and Senate
Graham: of course - because people hate that marxist Obama
Gregory: but you obstructed Obama at every turn
Graham: right - therefore everything is his fault
Gregory: oh that’s clever
Graham: also he’s weak on terror
Gregory: but Tea Partiers are crazy
Graham: sure but we can agree on great ideas like a Constitutional amendment to ban all spending
Gregory: but you’re too liberal for most conservatives though - and you’re a little nuts
Graham: we need a Contract On America
Gregory: didn’t we have that from 2001-2009?
Graham: we are going show America a great coalition of psychotic tea partiers and closeted Republicans before we become Grease
Gregory: I love Travolta
Graham: oh me too
Gregory: experts say we should not have invaded Iraq
Graham: Saddam violated UN resolutions so
we had to attack
Gregory: I see
Graham: he was not a good citizen
Gregory: but most people think it was a mistake
Graham: sure we invaded Iraq by mistake but history will judge it was brilliant idea by getting al qaeda to go into a country they never were so they could be beaten and go back to Afghanistan
Gregory: can we withdraw from Afghanistan
next summer?
Graham: Obama shouldn’t have said we withdraw regardless of conditions on the ground
Gregory: I should let my viewers know you are
lying right now
Graham: ok dancing dave you got me
[ break ]
Gregory: greetings Pluffy - 19 months of an Obama Presidency and the economy sucks
Plouffe: the GOP brought us a depression - we
lost jobs for years and now because of Obama we’re finally adding jobs
Gregory: good points but it’s still a bad record
Plouffe: this is a choice - Republicans drove the country into a ditch and if give them the keys again they will probably drive it right off a cliff
Gregory: but politically Dems are in trouble
Plouffe: maybe - look we won so many seats in 2006 and 2008 we were bound to lose some of them
Gregory: oh ok
Plouffe: we have to tell people that electing Republicans is a way to total disaster
Gregory: where’s the evidence for that?
Plouffe: their recent record
Gregory: you failed in getting Republicans to act in
a bipartisan way
Plouffe: that’s because they are total assholes
Gregory: so will keep the House and Senate?
Plouffe: probably
Gregory: America hates Obama
Plouffe: that’s crazy - Obama has achieved a
hell of a lot
Gregory: independents hate you guys because they hate big spending
Plouffe: Hey Fluffy Bill Clinton gave Bush a surplus and he blew the whole thing a handed us back a record deficit
Gregory: yes but John McCain’s economist says we should cut taxes on the rich
Plouffe: you really are a moron
Gregory: will you please please cut taxes on the wealthy
Plouffe: no
Gregory: will Obama quit in 2012 if the economy doesn’t turn around
Plouffe: You are such a silly person
Gregory: but will Hillary Clinton primary Obama?
Plouffe: oh fuck you Fluffy
Gregory: was the stimulus originally too small?
Plouffe: no we added 3 million jobs
Gregory: so you say
Plouffe: without the stimulus bill we’d have
20% unemployment
Gregory: Is Obama a liability to candidates?
Plouffe: LOL no he’s magic dood
Gregory: who will Republicans nominate in 2012?
Plouffe: like you fluffers I am clueless
Gregory: will you run Obama’s reelection campaign in 2012?
Plouffe: is there a non-idiot I can talk to?
Gregory: nope just me
[ break ]
Gregory: Erin do businesses like business tax cuts?
Burnett: yes but they want more
Gregory: Obama says at least the U.S. creating jobs
Burnett: actually he’s right we’re in recovery
Lowry: tax cuts are nice but in a $14 trillion economy you need to really really really cut taxes
Dionne: Democrats should pick a fight with the GOP by offering tax cuts for the middle class and raising them on millionaires
Lowry: can imagine if they do extend the Bush tax cuts LOL
Dionne: or you could spend that money on useful projects
Cook: the GOP has to run the table - but they probably will
Gregory: Oh
Cook: Dems wanted to split the GOP vote in Florida but it backfired and they split Dem votes
Gregory: Boxer and Reid are in tough races
Cook: a lot of these Democrats have been lucky before but we’re in a tough economy and that makes everything hard
Dionne: they need Obama to turn out independents but his very existence riles up Republicans
Gregory: there’s a lot of unfocused populist
rage out there
Burnett: I think Obama should say American is a rich great nation
Gregory: is Obama a failure?
Cook: yes he hasn’t added enough jobs
Dionne: He should have emphasized the real failures of the Bush administration early on
Lowry: hey the stimulus didn’t work enough and independents are essentially tea partiers who hate all muslims
Burnett: the stimulus was not a failure - this is the fastest job creation in decades
Lowry: [ eyeroll ]
Burnett: ask any economist and they’ll tell you the facts
Lowry: facts or cares about facts?
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
**************************
September 5, 2010
Guests:
Sen. Graham (R-SC)
David Plouffe - Dem political strategist
E.J. Dionne
Charlie Cook
Erin Burnett
Rich Lowry
**************
Gregory: Lindsey President Obama says the economy is doing well but not well enough
Graham: now is not the time to raise taxes -
now is the time to cut taxes!
Gregory: what coincidence
Graham: also we need to eliminate the stimulus
and stop giving people health care
Gregory: so will you repeal the big health care bill or not
Graham: that’s not the point - why aren’t Democrats campaigning on it?
Gregory: why don’t you?
Graham: Obama is a communist
Gregory: if Republicans are so concerned about
the debt why cut taxes?
Graham: Rich people need lower taxes - some of them are having to install aquariums for less $500,000 - it’s so sad
Gregory: suppose Obama agreed to everything you want - would that make you happy?
Graham: I hope he does - but no
Gregory: why do you hate Obama so much
Graham: he raised the debt
Gregory: but your plans would make it worse
Graham: he’s governed from the left ditch
Gregory: so will you win in 2010?
Graham: if we call Obama a debt-raising sleazy socialist we win
Gregory: awesome - so you will take the House
and Senate
Graham: of course - because people hate that marxist Obama
Gregory: but you obstructed Obama at every turn
Graham: right - therefore everything is his fault
Gregory: oh that’s clever
Graham: also he’s weak on terror
Gregory: but Tea Partiers are crazy
Graham: sure but we can agree on great ideas like a Constitutional amendment to ban all spending
Gregory: but you’re too liberal for most conservatives though - and you’re a little nuts
Graham: we need a Contract On America
Gregory: didn’t we have that from 2001-2009?
Graham: we are going show America a great coalition of psychotic tea partiers and closeted Republicans before we become Grease
Gregory: I love Travolta
Graham: oh me too
Gregory: experts say we should not have invaded Iraq
Graham: Saddam violated UN resolutions so
we had to attack
Gregory: I see
Graham: he was not a good citizen
Gregory: but most people think it was a mistake
Graham: sure we invaded Iraq by mistake but history will judge it was brilliant idea by getting al qaeda to go into a country they never were so they could be beaten and go back to Afghanistan
Gregory: can we withdraw from Afghanistan
next summer?
Graham: Obama shouldn’t have said we withdraw regardless of conditions on the ground
Gregory: I should let my viewers know you are
lying right now
Graham: ok dancing dave you got me
[ break ]
Gregory: greetings Pluffy - 19 months of an Obama Presidency and the economy sucks
Plouffe: the GOP brought us a depression - we
lost jobs for years and now because of Obama we’re finally adding jobs
Gregory: good points but it’s still a bad record
Plouffe: this is a choice - Republicans drove the country into a ditch and if give them the keys again they will probably drive it right off a cliff
Gregory: but politically Dems are in trouble
Plouffe: maybe - look we won so many seats in 2006 and 2008 we were bound to lose some of them
Gregory: oh ok
Plouffe: we have to tell people that electing Republicans is a way to total disaster
Gregory: where’s the evidence for that?
Plouffe: their recent record
Gregory: you failed in getting Republicans to act in
a bipartisan way
Plouffe: that’s because they are total assholes
Gregory: so will keep the House and Senate?
Plouffe: probably
Gregory: America hates Obama
Plouffe: that’s crazy - Obama has achieved a
hell of a lot
Gregory: independents hate you guys because they hate big spending
Plouffe: Hey Fluffy Bill Clinton gave Bush a surplus and he blew the whole thing a handed us back a record deficit
Gregory: yes but John McCain’s economist says we should cut taxes on the rich
Plouffe: you really are a moron
Gregory: will you please please cut taxes on the wealthy
Plouffe: no
Gregory: will Obama quit in 2012 if the economy doesn’t turn around
Plouffe: You are such a silly person
Gregory: but will Hillary Clinton primary Obama?
Plouffe: oh fuck you Fluffy
Gregory: was the stimulus originally too small?
Plouffe: no we added 3 million jobs
Gregory: so you say
Plouffe: without the stimulus bill we’d have
20% unemployment
Gregory: Is Obama a liability to candidates?
Plouffe: LOL no he’s magic dood
Gregory: who will Republicans nominate in 2012?
Plouffe: like you fluffers I am clueless
Gregory: will you run Obama’s reelection campaign in 2012?
Plouffe: is there a non-idiot I can talk to?
Gregory: nope just me
[ break ]
Gregory: Erin do businesses like business tax cuts?
Burnett: yes but they want more
Gregory: Obama says at least the U.S. creating jobs
Burnett: actually he’s right we’re in recovery
Lowry: tax cuts are nice but in a $14 trillion economy you need to really really really cut taxes
Dionne: Democrats should pick a fight with the GOP by offering tax cuts for the middle class and raising them on millionaires
Lowry: can imagine if they do extend the Bush tax cuts LOL
Dionne: or you could spend that money on useful projects
Cook: the GOP has to run the table - but they probably will
Gregory: Oh
Cook: Dems wanted to split the GOP vote in Florida but it backfired and they split Dem votes
Gregory: Boxer and Reid are in tough races
Cook: a lot of these Democrats have been lucky before but we’re in a tough economy and that makes everything hard
Dionne: they need Obama to turn out independents but his very existence riles up Republicans
Gregory: there’s a lot of unfocused populist
rage out there
Burnett: I think Obama should say American is a rich great nation
Gregory: is Obama a failure?
Cook: yes he hasn’t added enough jobs
Dionne: He should have emphasized the real failures of the Bush administration early on
Lowry: hey the stimulus didn’t work enough and independents are essentially tea partiers who hate all muslims
Burnett: the stimulus was not a failure - this is the fastest job creation in decades
Lowry: [ eyeroll ]
Burnett: ask any economist and they’ll tell you the facts
Lowry: facts or cares about facts?
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
**************************
This Week with guest Tony Blair - Sept. 5, 2010
This Week with Christiane Amanpour
Guest:
Guest:
Former Prime Minister Tony Blair
September 5, 2010
************************************
Amanpour: you colossally fucked up in
invading Iraq
Blair: um yeah well that was kind of bad
Amanpour: but will you apologize?
Blair: no
Amanpour: you didn’t know that invading a middle east nation would be complex
Blair: 9/11 made my brain stop functioning
Amanpour: ah right
Blair: those terrorists could have killed 300,000 people so we had to overreact in the
most stupid way possible
Amanpour: of course
Blair: those muslims freak me out!!
Amanpour: isn’t Obama weak on radical Islam?
Blair: yes he is - it’s our generations great mission to invade random desert nations until we get lucky
Amanpour: you say ordinary middle easterners are afraid we won’t occupy them forever
Blair: it’s just like the fight against Communism - it must never end until those nations are ruled a freedom hating loon who supports corporations
Amanpour: well then invading Iraq was really stupid wasn’t it?
Blair: but the sanctions were crumbling
Amanpour: not after 9/11 Poodle Boy
Blair: yeah but then Saddam would’ve been around after 9/11 and you can’t take a chance him and his evil mustache might launch balsa wood planes
filled with anthrax
Amanpour: make sense
Blair: I would also point out that because we attacked Iraq by mistake North Korea has agreed
to talk to us while building more nuclear bombs
Amanpour: oh good
Blair: look I’m the decider
Amanpour: so what would you decide about Iran
Blair: we have to attack Iran now!
Amanpour: dood you’re a little crazy
Blair: Hey Dickie wanted to attack a dozen countries
Amanpour: good lord
Blair: he wanted to remake the world -
but he’s not stupid
Amanpour: just evil and insane
Blair: I’ve seen his Horcrux
Amanpour: what did you think about George Bush
Blair: he is simple-minded but he was very decisive in his mistakes and admire that
Amanpour: Bill Clinton?
Blair: I love him because he ditched the activists and radicals and all those rainbow types
Amanpour: smart?
Blair: Bill’s got a bloody big brain
Amanpour: what was he like during impeachment
Blair: he’s got an amazing ability to compartmentalize - it’s really incredible
Amanpour: why you think he slept with Monica?
Blair: he just loves people - I mean really
loves people
Amanpour: so I’ve heard
Blair: personally I can’t stand ‘em
Amanpour: why do all these men politicians have affairs?
Blair: hey there’s a lot of pressure at the top -
you gotta blow it off somehow
Amanpour: but you don’t
Blair: no I drink and cry myself to sleep every night
Amanpour: very healthy
Blair: [ sobs ]
Amanpour: the 'Prime Minister’s Questions' session is pretty scary
Blair: it’s bloody petrifying
Amanpour: did you like Diana?
Blair: she was great but those inbred loons at Buckingham palace were terrified of her
Amanpour: you had to tell the Queen that people were upset about Diana
Blair: hey I was just a new PM and it’s not like I’m the Queen’s buddy
Amanpour: but you saw her washing the dishes
Blair: right that was freaky
Amanpour: LOL you Brits are hilarious
Blair: cheerio
******************************
Guest:
Guest:
Former Prime Minister Tony Blair
September 5, 2010
************************************
Amanpour: you colossally fucked up in
invading Iraq
Blair: um yeah well that was kind of bad
Amanpour: but will you apologize?
Blair: no
Amanpour: you didn’t know that invading a middle east nation would be complex
Blair: 9/11 made my brain stop functioning
Amanpour: ah right
Blair: those terrorists could have killed 300,000 people so we had to overreact in the
most stupid way possible
Amanpour: of course
Blair: those muslims freak me out!!
Amanpour: isn’t Obama weak on radical Islam?
Blair: yes he is - it’s our generations great mission to invade random desert nations until we get lucky
Amanpour: you say ordinary middle easterners are afraid we won’t occupy them forever
Blair: it’s just like the fight against Communism - it must never end until those nations are ruled a freedom hating loon who supports corporations
Amanpour: well then invading Iraq was really stupid wasn’t it?
Blair: but the sanctions were crumbling
Amanpour: not after 9/11 Poodle Boy
Blair: yeah but then Saddam would’ve been around after 9/11 and you can’t take a chance him and his evil mustache might launch balsa wood planes
filled with anthrax
Amanpour: make sense
Blair: I would also point out that because we attacked Iraq by mistake North Korea has agreed
to talk to us while building more nuclear bombs
Amanpour: oh good
Blair: look I’m the decider
Amanpour: so what would you decide about Iran
Blair: we have to attack Iran now!
Amanpour: dood you’re a little crazy
Blair: Hey Dickie wanted to attack a dozen countries
Amanpour: good lord
Blair: he wanted to remake the world -
but he’s not stupid
Amanpour: just evil and insane
Blair: I’ve seen his Horcrux
Amanpour: what did you think about George Bush
Blair: he is simple-minded but he was very decisive in his mistakes and admire that
Amanpour: Bill Clinton?
Blair: I love him because he ditched the activists and radicals and all those rainbow types
Amanpour: smart?
Blair: Bill’s got a bloody big brain
Amanpour: what was he like during impeachment
Blair: he’s got an amazing ability to compartmentalize - it’s really incredible
Amanpour: why you think he slept with Monica?
Blair: he just loves people - I mean really
loves people
Amanpour: so I’ve heard
Blair: personally I can’t stand ‘em
Amanpour: why do all these men politicians have affairs?
Blair: hey there’s a lot of pressure at the top -
you gotta blow it off somehow
Amanpour: but you don’t
Blair: no I drink and cry myself to sleep every night
Amanpour: very healthy
Blair: [ sobs ]
Amanpour: the 'Prime Minister’s Questions' session is pretty scary
Blair: it’s bloody petrifying
Amanpour: did you like Diana?
Blair: she was great but those inbred loons at Buckingham palace were terrified of her
Amanpour: you had to tell the Queen that people were upset about Diana
Blair: hey I was just a new PM and it’s not like I’m the Queen’s buddy
Amanpour: but you saw her washing the dishes
Blair: right that was freaky
Amanpour: LOL you Brits are hilarious
Blair: cheerio
******************************
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
President Obama Oval Address - August 31, 2010
Obama:
Good evening my fellow long-suffering Americans
I want to tell you we getting the hell out of the nightmare that is Iraq and we can finally focus
on the endless misery in America
Audience: woo
Now listen up world: we’re still America and we may have acted like idiots but don’t fuck with us!
World: ok ok
Ok now you all know that the result of the war is thousands of Americans were killed and wounded and our international relations were ruined -- but hey good news - our soldiers are the best in the fucking world! Give it up for our troops!
Audience: yay
Tonight I am announcing that the killing phase of our war in Iraq is finally over! Jesus Allah that was one sucky war!
We’ve moved 100,000 troops and all their shit out of Iraq.
And how about those Iraqi troops?! In took 7 years but they finally learned how to fight!
Audience: whee
Iraqis are even holding fair elections
- hey we should try that!
Audience: golf clap
Now don’t worry - we’re not leaving Iraq! We’re going to advise them on fighting and of course we’re protect our “civilians” - I sent Joe Biden there to remind them America never leaves - we just annoy other countries in new and different ways!
World: I hear that
Only Iraqis can police their streets! Well them
and Blackwater.
We paid a really high price to invade Iraq and dammit we should get something out of it!
That war really divided America but let’s not argue about who lied to who about a war
Today I spoke with former President Bush - and let me just say it was a very interesting conversation
Ok the man is stupid
Audience: true
Now is not the time to fight amongst ourselves - Osama is hiding in a cave somewhere threatening Americans!
Now we are going on the motherfuckin offense! We’re going to kick some Taliban ass!! Surge, fuckers!
Audience: USA!
But then we gotta get the hell out of there - look I’m no fool and open ended war is a one-ticket to disaster. Christ we can’t just invade every place where we’re not loved. I mean we don’t have enough troops to occupy France anyway
Audience: damm
Speaking of Bush disasters, as you know we neglected infrastructure, manufacturing, education, the debt, and the economy for 10 years.
Audience: bummer
Our soldiers fought for 10 years in fucking deserts and y’all waved flags and put magnets on your cars - but are you white people willing to work put this country back together??
Audience: ummm
Well it’s time to get to work, pay our taxes and serve our veterans! Like, mental health care, new limbs and yes even a college education -- did you know my white grandpa fought in WWII? Yes he did and he was not a muslim! Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Over 4,000 Americans were killed in Iraq which last time I checked is more than died on 9/11. That’s some pretty whacked-out-shit isn’t it? Ok, so no fancy surrender ceremony, sorry. This address is all you get. But I love you soldiers - you are the steel in our ship of state and the wind beneath my wings. Love ya!
Goodnight white fuckers!
Good evening my fellow long-suffering Americans
I want to tell you we getting the hell out of the nightmare that is Iraq and we can finally focus
on the endless misery in America
Audience: woo
Now listen up world: we’re still America and we may have acted like idiots but don’t fuck with us!
World: ok ok
Ok now you all know that the result of the war is thousands of Americans were killed and wounded and our international relations were ruined -- but hey good news - our soldiers are the best in the fucking world! Give it up for our troops!
Audience: yay
Tonight I am announcing that the killing phase of our war in Iraq is finally over! Jesus Allah that was one sucky war!
We’ve moved 100,000 troops and all their shit out of Iraq.
And how about those Iraqi troops?! In took 7 years but they finally learned how to fight!
Audience: whee
Iraqis are even holding fair elections
- hey we should try that!
Audience: golf clap
Now don’t worry - we’re not leaving Iraq! We’re going to advise them on fighting and of course we’re protect our “civilians” - I sent Joe Biden there to remind them America never leaves - we just annoy other countries in new and different ways!
World: I hear that
Only Iraqis can police their streets! Well them
and Blackwater.
We paid a really high price to invade Iraq and dammit we should get something out of it!
That war really divided America but let’s not argue about who lied to who about a war
Today I spoke with former President Bush - and let me just say it was a very interesting conversation
Ok the man is stupid
Audience: true
Now is not the time to fight amongst ourselves - Osama is hiding in a cave somewhere threatening Americans!
Now we are going on the motherfuckin offense! We’re going to kick some Taliban ass!! Surge, fuckers!
Audience: USA!
But then we gotta get the hell out of there - look I’m no fool and open ended war is a one-ticket to disaster. Christ we can’t just invade every place where we’re not loved. I mean we don’t have enough troops to occupy France anyway
Audience: damm
Speaking of Bush disasters, as you know we neglected infrastructure, manufacturing, education, the debt, and the economy for 10 years.
Audience: bummer
Our soldiers fought for 10 years in fucking deserts and y’all waved flags and put magnets on your cars - but are you white people willing to work put this country back together??
Audience: ummm
Well it’s time to get to work, pay our taxes and serve our veterans! Like, mental health care, new limbs and yes even a college education -- did you know my white grandpa fought in WWII? Yes he did and he was not a muslim! Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Over 4,000 Americans were killed in Iraq which last time I checked is more than died on 9/11. That’s some pretty whacked-out-shit isn’t it? Ok, so no fancy surrender ceremony, sorry. This address is all you get. But I love you soldiers - you are the steel in our ship of state and the wind beneath my wings. Love ya!
Goodnight white fuckers!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Meet the Press from New Orleans - August 29, 2010
Guests:
Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.)
Mayor Mitch Landrieu (D-N.O.)
Actor Brad Pitt
Radio host Garland Robinette
Author Douglas Brinkley
Actor Wendell Pierce
******************
Williams: Hi the Hurricane anniversary is too important to leave to that Dancin Dave Gregory -
it requires the most insufferably pompous man in television
Audience: yay
Williams: I’m here with U.S. Senator Mary Landrieu and baseball great Cal Ripken
Mitch: no I’m Mitch Landrieu
Williams: who the hell is that?
Mitch: I’m the Mayor of New Orleans
Williams: no shit
Mitch: yep
Williams: We got Nothin’ but Landrieus!
Williams: was it a natural disaster?
Mitch: this was a man-made disaster - the motherfuckin levees broke!
Williams: why should anyone give a shit about
your city?
Mitch: we have the greatest culture in America
Williams: well thank god we have a white Mayor again - you guys are the Cajun Camelot!
Mitch: boo ya!
Williams: you’re white so you’re blameless right?
Mary: the hurricane was great opportunity to remake South Louisiana - the nation has been looting this area for decades!
Williams: George Bush said he would do what it would whatever it takes to fix New Orleans
Mary: unsurprisingly that turned out to be total bullshit
Williams: but Mississippi did great
Mary: Haley Barbour may claim that but that isn’t true either
Williams: Mitch would you ever walk in black neighborhood without a bodyguard and an
armored car?
Mitch: sure I do it all the time
Williams: you’re kidding
Mitch: no really
Williams: Katrina was the best thing ever to happen to the schools of New Orleans
Mitch: well that’s not well put but it’s nice that
FEMA rebuilt every school
Williams: people in the U.S. think y’all is crazy because your state was soaked in oil and your first reaction is ‘let’s keep drilling!’
Mary: [ puts down cell phone ]
Sorry I was checking with the oil companies
before formulating my answer
Williams: what did they tell you to say
Mary: Oil companies are the loveliest best most sincere people on earth
Williams: I see
Williams: Please bash President Obama for me
Mitch: no he did a great job - BP was outrageously irresponsible
Williams: ok please bash Ray Nagin for me
Mitch: look the levees broke and Bush let us down - the rest is irrelevant
Williams: Glen Beck got 300,000 people to ask god to stop by and say hello
Mary: that moron may not know that God has always blessed America and his hate government agenda is fucking stupid
Williams: what do the Saints winning the Superbowl mean to New Orleans
Mitch: now that was God talking Brian -
it was redemption and resurrection!
Williams: Brad you’re a big star - why are you here
Pitt: I love the smell
Williams: what else
Pitt: it’s got verve
Williams: you’re building homes but what if they
get destroyed again?
Pitt: the homes are safe but the levees could
still break
Williams: well that seems like a problem
Pitt: it’s up to the Corps of Engineers
Williams: but they fucked up in the first place
Pitt: true
Williams: BP is so wonderful they took your slogan
Pitt: god I hate those dastardly thieving motherfuckers
Williams: are these Green houses
Pitt: it’s the Greenest area in the whole world -
they produce more energy than they use
Williams: ironic they don’t need the oil they despoil their state to provide for everyone else
Pitt: right
Williams: what happened here 5 years ago?
Robinette: we saw America reduced to a third-world nation it was mind boggling
Williams: I asked George Bush about this and he said you can call me anything you want-
Audience: oh good
Williams: but he said don’t call me a racist
Audience: stupid, incompetent, dishonest?
Bush [at home, drunk]: aw c’mon Robby I did a heckofa job!
Robniette: you can’t deliver food and water to trapped Americans - it doesn’t make any goddam sense!
Williams: it does seem like something you wouldn’t see on the Vineyard
Robinette: we’re the canary in the coal mine - America we are your future - look on us and despair!
Williams: Wendell you come from black neighborhood with a low crime rate - it’s amazing
Pierce: the rebuilding is like a grassroots
Marshall Plan
Brinkley: don’t forget Mississippi
Williams: Hey I passed over Mississippi
Williams: David what is New Orleans?
Brinkley: this is a great historic city but let’s not overstate the case - it’s mostly criminals, cancer
and corruption
Williams: but the Saints!
Brinkley: fuck that - you need to save the wetlands and end the third-world mentality that pervades this place
Robinette: hey America - you want to pay $5 a gallon for gas - keep it fucking up!
Williams: oh noes
Robinette: people are short-sighted and when you ask them to actually think they get a dull glaze on their eyes
Williams: speaking of that here’s an old clip from Meet The Press showing how the federal government failed 5 years ago
Pierce: that disaster lifted the veil on racism in America - it’s an indictment of the nation and if we are going to move past it we have to confront race and class and education in America and then work together to make it right
Brinkley: Katrina showed real poverty in America - but this shit is al over in America
Williams: Rob glass half-full or empty?
Robinette: half-full for New Orleans -
half-empty for America
Williams: and that’s another edition of
Meet The Press
**************************
Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.)
Mayor Mitch Landrieu (D-N.O.)
Actor Brad Pitt
Radio host Garland Robinette
Author Douglas Brinkley
Actor Wendell Pierce
******************
Williams: Hi the Hurricane anniversary is too important to leave to that Dancin Dave Gregory -
it requires the most insufferably pompous man in television
Audience: yay
Williams: I’m here with U.S. Senator Mary Landrieu and baseball great Cal Ripken
Mitch: no I’m Mitch Landrieu
Williams: who the hell is that?
Mitch: I’m the Mayor of New Orleans
Williams: no shit
Mitch: yep
Williams: We got Nothin’ but Landrieus!
Williams: was it a natural disaster?
Mitch: this was a man-made disaster - the motherfuckin levees broke!
Williams: why should anyone give a shit about
your city?
Mitch: we have the greatest culture in America
Williams: well thank god we have a white Mayor again - you guys are the Cajun Camelot!
Mitch: boo ya!
Williams: you’re white so you’re blameless right?
Mary: the hurricane was great opportunity to remake South Louisiana - the nation has been looting this area for decades!
Williams: George Bush said he would do what it would whatever it takes to fix New Orleans
Mary: unsurprisingly that turned out to be total bullshit
Williams: but Mississippi did great
Mary: Haley Barbour may claim that but that isn’t true either
Williams: Mitch would you ever walk in black neighborhood without a bodyguard and an
armored car?
Mitch: sure I do it all the time
Williams: you’re kidding
Mitch: no really
Williams: Katrina was the best thing ever to happen to the schools of New Orleans
Mitch: well that’s not well put but it’s nice that
FEMA rebuilt every school
Williams: people in the U.S. think y’all is crazy because your state was soaked in oil and your first reaction is ‘let’s keep drilling!’
Mary: [ puts down cell phone ]
Sorry I was checking with the oil companies
before formulating my answer
Williams: what did they tell you to say
Mary: Oil companies are the loveliest best most sincere people on earth
Williams: I see
Williams: Please bash President Obama for me
Mitch: no he did a great job - BP was outrageously irresponsible
Williams: ok please bash Ray Nagin for me
Mitch: look the levees broke and Bush let us down - the rest is irrelevant
Williams: Glen Beck got 300,000 people to ask god to stop by and say hello
Mary: that moron may not know that God has always blessed America and his hate government agenda is fucking stupid
Williams: what do the Saints winning the Superbowl mean to New Orleans
Mitch: now that was God talking Brian -
it was redemption and resurrection!
Williams: Brad you’re a big star - why are you here
Pitt: I love the smell
Williams: what else
Pitt: it’s got verve
Williams: you’re building homes but what if they
get destroyed again?
Pitt: the homes are safe but the levees could
still break
Williams: well that seems like a problem
Pitt: it’s up to the Corps of Engineers
Williams: but they fucked up in the first place
Pitt: true
Williams: BP is so wonderful they took your slogan
Pitt: god I hate those dastardly thieving motherfuckers
Williams: are these Green houses
Pitt: it’s the Greenest area in the whole world -
they produce more energy than they use
Williams: ironic they don’t need the oil they despoil their state to provide for everyone else
Pitt: right
Williams: what happened here 5 years ago?
Robinette: we saw America reduced to a third-world nation it was mind boggling
Williams: I asked George Bush about this and he said you can call me anything you want-
Audience: oh good
Williams: but he said don’t call me a racist
Audience: stupid, incompetent, dishonest?
Bush [at home, drunk]: aw c’mon Robby I did a heckofa job!
Robniette: you can’t deliver food and water to trapped Americans - it doesn’t make any goddam sense!
Williams: it does seem like something you wouldn’t see on the Vineyard
Robinette: we’re the canary in the coal mine - America we are your future - look on us and despair!
Williams: Wendell you come from black neighborhood with a low crime rate - it’s amazing
Pierce: the rebuilding is like a grassroots
Marshall Plan
Brinkley: don’t forget Mississippi
Williams: Hey I passed over Mississippi
Williams: David what is New Orleans?
Brinkley: this is a great historic city but let’s not overstate the case - it’s mostly criminals, cancer
and corruption
Williams: but the Saints!
Brinkley: fuck that - you need to save the wetlands and end the third-world mentality that pervades this place
Robinette: hey America - you want to pay $5 a gallon for gas - keep it fucking up!
Williams: oh noes
Robinette: people are short-sighted and when you ask them to actually think they get a dull glaze on their eyes
Williams: speaking of that here’s an old clip from Meet The Press showing how the federal government failed 5 years ago
Pierce: that disaster lifted the veil on racism in America - it’s an indictment of the nation and if we are going to move past it we have to confront race and class and education in America and then work together to make it right
Brinkley: Katrina showed real poverty in America - but this shit is al over in America
Williams: Rob glass half-full or empty?
Robinette: half-full for New Orleans -
half-empty for America
Williams: and that’s another edition of
Meet The Press
**************************
This Week - August 29, 2010
Guests:
Arne Duncan: Sec. of Education
Randi Weingarten: President AFT
Michelle Rhee
Jamie Oliver
****************************
Amanpour: Good morning - American kids perform worse than kids from Azerbijian but we’re still kicking Somalia’s ass - I think
Audience: yay
Amanpour: don’t worry America a former pro-basketball player is on the case
Amanpour: Arne what’s your plan to put U.S.
kids ahead of Estonia?
Duncan: we need to pay teachers based on how
well kids do
Amanpour: do you hate teachers?
Duncan: no I love teachers in general just not specifically
Weingarten: you have to look at teacher performance data in context
Duncan: it empowers teachers by publishing data
on how well their kids do
Amanpour: Michelle are you getting rid of
deadwood teachers
Rhee: we now evaluate teachers based on their kids scores and if they can recite the pledge of allegiance and how much chalk they use
Amanpour: the teachers contract is very thick and it makes it difficult to fire bad teachers
Weingarten: hey states with teachers unions do really well
Amanpour: yeah but we need to get rid of the bad teachers - that will save America
Weingarten: well fine - let’s improve teacher evaluation but let’s also admit teachers want to do well and teachers are not the real problem
Duncan: we have get kids ready for a college education they can’t possibly afford
Rhee: the best teachers will get a bonus and they really stupid ones will have to go into investment banking or on Fox news
Duncan: teachers need to know science like how early man celebrated Christmas by riding
to the edge of the earth on dinosaurs
Weingarten: we could base Arne Duncan’s pay
on his performance
Duncan: um now hold on a minute
Weingarten: Finland teaches kids better than we do
Amanpour: well sure it’s dark 10 months a year
Rhee: we need aggressive principals who are will kick some teacher ass
Duncan: we’ve dumbed down education standards for years and the result is Dancing with the Stars
and the Glen Beck rally
Amanpour: good point
[ break ]
Amanpour: we have an obesity problem in America because public school food makes kids fat
Kessler: the brains of millions of Americans are being hijacked by fat and ignorance
Amanpour: enough about Rush Limbaugh
Amanpour: 1 in 3 American kids are fat and the British kids are weighed in stones
Oliver: the solution is not rocket science -
just eat healthier
Amanpour: but people love junk food
Oliver: sure - fries are delicious
Amanpour: so can you succeed?
Oliver: yes and healthy food raises test scores
Amanpour: what can Congress do?
Oliver: they can pass a bill to spend $4 billion and save $100 billion; save millions of lives and make
the nation more competitve
Amanpour: so your saying it’s far-sighted and a no-brainer
Oliver: right
Amanpour: and you expect it to get through Congress?
Oliver: I educated people in West Virginia and if I can do it there I can do it on Capitol Hill
Amanpour: David Letterman says crappy food is Big Business so you can’t succeed
Oliver: He may be right but McDonald’s changed in Europe due to public pressure - in England they make healthy food and in France they have the ‘Royale with cheese’
Amanpour: awesome
************************
Arne Duncan: Sec. of Education
Randi Weingarten: President AFT
Michelle Rhee
Jamie Oliver
****************************
Amanpour: Good morning - American kids perform worse than kids from Azerbijian but we’re still kicking Somalia’s ass - I think
Audience: yay
Amanpour: don’t worry America a former pro-basketball player is on the case
Amanpour: Arne what’s your plan to put U.S.
kids ahead of Estonia?
Duncan: we need to pay teachers based on how
well kids do
Amanpour: do you hate teachers?
Duncan: no I love teachers in general just not specifically
Weingarten: you have to look at teacher performance data in context
Duncan: it empowers teachers by publishing data
on how well their kids do
Amanpour: Michelle are you getting rid of
deadwood teachers
Rhee: we now evaluate teachers based on their kids scores and if they can recite the pledge of allegiance and how much chalk they use
Amanpour: the teachers contract is very thick and it makes it difficult to fire bad teachers
Weingarten: hey states with teachers unions do really well
Amanpour: yeah but we need to get rid of the bad teachers - that will save America
Weingarten: well fine - let’s improve teacher evaluation but let’s also admit teachers want to do well and teachers are not the real problem
Duncan: we have get kids ready for a college education they can’t possibly afford
Rhee: the best teachers will get a bonus and they really stupid ones will have to go into investment banking or on Fox news
Duncan: teachers need to know science like how early man celebrated Christmas by riding
to the edge of the earth on dinosaurs
Weingarten: we could base Arne Duncan’s pay
on his performance
Duncan: um now hold on a minute
Weingarten: Finland teaches kids better than we do
Amanpour: well sure it’s dark 10 months a year
Rhee: we need aggressive principals who are will kick some teacher ass
Duncan: we’ve dumbed down education standards for years and the result is Dancing with the Stars
and the Glen Beck rally
Amanpour: good point
[ break ]
Amanpour: we have an obesity problem in America because public school food makes kids fat
Kessler: the brains of millions of Americans are being hijacked by fat and ignorance
Amanpour: enough about Rush Limbaugh
Amanpour: 1 in 3 American kids are fat and the British kids are weighed in stones
Oliver: the solution is not rocket science -
just eat healthier
Amanpour: but people love junk food
Oliver: sure - fries are delicious
Amanpour: so can you succeed?
Oliver: yes and healthy food raises test scores
Amanpour: what can Congress do?
Oliver: they can pass a bill to spend $4 billion and save $100 billion; save millions of lives and make
the nation more competitve
Amanpour: so your saying it’s far-sighted and a no-brainer
Oliver: right
Amanpour: and you expect it to get through Congress?
Oliver: I educated people in West Virginia and if I can do it there I can do it on Capitol Hill
Amanpour: David Letterman says crappy food is Big Business so you can’t succeed
Oliver: He may be right but McDonald’s changed in Europe due to public pressure - in England they make healthy food and in France they have the ‘Royale with cheese’
Amanpour: awesome
************************
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Meet The Press - August 22, 2010
Guests:
Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
Gov. Granholm (D-MI)
Dick Armey (Tea Party)
Rick Lazio (R-candidate for Gov)
Paul Gigot (Wall St. Journal)
Katty Kay (BBC)
Jeffrey Goldberg (Atlantic)
**********************
Gregory: should Muslims be allowed to have a community center near the world trade center?
McConnell: that’s a local issue but President Obama should never have spoken in support of
freedom of religion
Gregory: but what’s your opinion
McConnell: that’s up to New York City but I would hope they would take into consideration what
people in Kentucky think
Gregory: wasn’t Obama wrong support religious freedom?
McConnell: oh yes - it’s just a zoning issue therefore freedom doesn’t matter
Gregory: don’t play dumb Mitch - your entire party has attacked this mosque
McConnell: oh not at all - we’re very angry about debt and the Washington takeovers
Gregory: why do people think Obama is a Muslim?
McConnell: because Obama started a recession
in 2007
Gregory: are you always this stupid?
McConnell: yes
Gregory: but why do people believe falsehoods?
McConnell: I have no idea - I get my information
from Fox news
Gregory: how do you pay for the tax cuts you want?
McConnell: it’s outrageous to raise taxes
in a recession
Gregory: so how will you pay for it?
McConnell: I don’t have to pay for it since it would be raising taxes not cutting them
Gregory: c’mon moron - we’re running a deficit
and you know it
McConnell: you don’t increase taxes in a recession and Obama has been President for 3 years
Gregory: with all due respect do you want to cut the debt or cut taxes
McConnell: you can’t raise taxes
Gregory: you’re not answering my question
McConnell: Obama has imposed paperwork!
Gregory: do you or do you not have a plan to pay
for one trillion in lost taxes
McConnell: no - we have to cut spending
Gregory: well that’s what I was asking about!
McConnell: Obama has a debt commission which I hope will recommend cutting medicare and medicaid
Gregory: why do you need a Democratic President’s commission to tell you what to cut?
McConnell: why should we discuss political issues between now and elections where the entire House of Representatives and much of the Senate are up for election??
Gregory: what about your election prospects?
McConnell: we’re offensive
Gregory: I noticed
Gregory: the Tea Party is awesome isn’t it
McConnell: I love the Tea Party and they discovered spending and debt after a black guy became President
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama said religious freedom is unshakeable as long as local laws are followed which created a firestorm of controversy
Granholm: I heard that this is a peaceful sect so maybe we should let him have religious freedom
Gregory: interesting
Granholm: I checked up on him and he seems like one of the good ones
Gregory: dick there are some good Muslims so maybe we should let them build it after all
Armey: Obama trashed the Constitution on health care which he means he’s whimsical!
Granholm: oh my god
Gregory: tea party candidates are against civil rights, the U.N., social security, income tax, and the 14th amendment
Armey: look they may be crazy but they all won
their GOP primary
Granholm: I’m not sure that electing lunatics is the best strategy to get us out of this serious recession
Gregory: what is?
Granholm: government smartly investing and working with business to develop jobs and infrastructure
Armey: or we could eliminate Medicare
Gregory: is the Tea Party going to take over the GOP?
Armey: Republicans need the courage to come against the Civil Rights Act
Granholm: I don’t think people want to get rid of Medicare
Armey: I don’t want to get rid of Medicare -
I just want to make it voluntary
Granholm: oh ok
Armey: shouldn’t Christian Scientists be allowed to opt-out of social programs?
Granholm: no
Armey: that’s whimsical!
Gregory: should we really raise taxes on the rich?
Armey: the U.S. Government is Porky Pig!
Granholm: yes we should build this economy on the backs of the richest 2 percent
[ break ]
Gregory: ok let's talk about the incredible controversy everyone is concerned about over building in lower Manhattan
Audience: St. Vincent's hospital?
Gregory: No no the really big story over the foreign invasion that everyone in New York City is freaking out about
Audience: oh of course - bedbugs
Gregory: no no I mean the 9/11 Ground Zero Mosque
Audience: oh that silly bullshit
Gregory: rick you were humiliated by Hillary Clinton and have no credibility - tell us why you hate the mosque
Lazio: this imam said the U.S. created Osama bin Laden and I’m not saying we should have a cap on all mosques and all I’m saying this mosque should be banned
Goldberg: that’s crazy - this imam once said ‘i’m a Jew’ which is very brave since bacon is delicious
Gregory: Karen Hughes who has no credibility says if we have freedom for religion the terrorists will celebrate it as a victory over freedom
Gigot: it doesn’t matter who is right - they are not uniting people therefore they are wrong
Gregory: but who’s fault it that?
Gigot: their fault for being too muslim-y
Gregory: Newt Gingrich says all Muslims are Nazis
Kay: dudes you are making America look insane
Lazio: we know that Muslims are patriots and they can have freedom - just not in New York City
Goldberg: worldwide Islam is complex and painting them with a broad brush sends a very bad message
Gigot: look we’re not saying people can’t build mosques all over the world-
Gregory: mighty white of you
Gigot: just not at this holy Christian site which is sanctified by porn shops and a skyscraper
Gregory: look we all want freedom just not near where so many white people died
Kay: Fluffy I heard you were a moron
Lazio: this mosque might have ties to Iran!
Gregory: Jeff you say Israel is planning to bomb Iran
Goldberg: Obama is being prudent and has given Iran a way out while imposing sanctions - but Iran is close and Israel is ready to strike
Gregory: look our are troops leaving Iraq - too bad
gosh it was such a fun war
Gregory: let me quote a right wing editorial wall street journal that we won in Iraq - USA! USA! USA!
Gigot: we gave them a Republic - aren’t we wonderful?
Gregory: we are true heroes
Gigot: hopefully Iraq can serve our purposes
Gregory: I loved that war - rick can we go back?
Lazio: absolutely - but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t start other new, fun wars
Gregory: I like it
Lazio: we left this epic disaster with honor
Kay: while Gigot does the touchdown end zone dance it’s worth remembering that this was a war based on lies costing billions and thousands of lives and was almost a total failure
Gregory: sure but other than that it was great
************************************
Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
Gov. Granholm (D-MI)
Dick Armey (Tea Party)
Rick Lazio (R-candidate for Gov)
Paul Gigot (Wall St. Journal)
Katty Kay (BBC)
Jeffrey Goldberg (Atlantic)
**********************
Gregory: should Muslims be allowed to have a community center near the world trade center?
McConnell: that’s a local issue but President Obama should never have spoken in support of
freedom of religion
Gregory: but what’s your opinion
McConnell: that’s up to New York City but I would hope they would take into consideration what
people in Kentucky think
Gregory: wasn’t Obama wrong support religious freedom?
McConnell: oh yes - it’s just a zoning issue therefore freedom doesn’t matter
Gregory: don’t play dumb Mitch - your entire party has attacked this mosque
McConnell: oh not at all - we’re very angry about debt and the Washington takeovers
Gregory: why do people think Obama is a Muslim?
McConnell: because Obama started a recession
in 2007
Gregory: are you always this stupid?
McConnell: yes
Gregory: but why do people believe falsehoods?
McConnell: I have no idea - I get my information
from Fox news
Gregory: how do you pay for the tax cuts you want?
McConnell: it’s outrageous to raise taxes
in a recession
Gregory: so how will you pay for it?
McConnell: I don’t have to pay for it since it would be raising taxes not cutting them
Gregory: c’mon moron - we’re running a deficit
and you know it
McConnell: you don’t increase taxes in a recession and Obama has been President for 3 years
Gregory: with all due respect do you want to cut the debt or cut taxes
McConnell: you can’t raise taxes
Gregory: you’re not answering my question
McConnell: Obama has imposed paperwork!
Gregory: do you or do you not have a plan to pay
for one trillion in lost taxes
McConnell: no - we have to cut spending
Gregory: well that’s what I was asking about!
McConnell: Obama has a debt commission which I hope will recommend cutting medicare and medicaid
Gregory: why do you need a Democratic President’s commission to tell you what to cut?
McConnell: why should we discuss political issues between now and elections where the entire House of Representatives and much of the Senate are up for election??
Gregory: what about your election prospects?
McConnell: we’re offensive
Gregory: I noticed
Gregory: the Tea Party is awesome isn’t it
McConnell: I love the Tea Party and they discovered spending and debt after a black guy became President
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama said religious freedom is unshakeable as long as local laws are followed which created a firestorm of controversy
Granholm: I heard that this is a peaceful sect so maybe we should let him have religious freedom
Gregory: interesting
Granholm: I checked up on him and he seems like one of the good ones
Gregory: dick there are some good Muslims so maybe we should let them build it after all
Armey: Obama trashed the Constitution on health care which he means he’s whimsical!
Granholm: oh my god
Gregory: tea party candidates are against civil rights, the U.N., social security, income tax, and the 14th amendment
Armey: look they may be crazy but they all won
their GOP primary
Granholm: I’m not sure that electing lunatics is the best strategy to get us out of this serious recession
Gregory: what is?
Granholm: government smartly investing and working with business to develop jobs and infrastructure
Armey: or we could eliminate Medicare
Gregory: is the Tea Party going to take over the GOP?
Armey: Republicans need the courage to come against the Civil Rights Act
Granholm: I don’t think people want to get rid of Medicare
Armey: I don’t want to get rid of Medicare -
I just want to make it voluntary
Granholm: oh ok
Armey: shouldn’t Christian Scientists be allowed to opt-out of social programs?
Granholm: no
Armey: that’s whimsical!
Gregory: should we really raise taxes on the rich?
Armey: the U.S. Government is Porky Pig!
Granholm: yes we should build this economy on the backs of the richest 2 percent
[ break ]
Gregory: ok let's talk about the incredible controversy everyone is concerned about over building in lower Manhattan
Audience: St. Vincent's hospital?
Gregory: No no the really big story over the foreign invasion that everyone in New York City is freaking out about
Audience: oh of course - bedbugs
Gregory: no no I mean the 9/11 Ground Zero Mosque
Audience: oh that silly bullshit
Gregory: rick you were humiliated by Hillary Clinton and have no credibility - tell us why you hate the mosque
Lazio: this imam said the U.S. created Osama bin Laden and I’m not saying we should have a cap on all mosques and all I’m saying this mosque should be banned
Goldberg: that’s crazy - this imam once said ‘i’m a Jew’ which is very brave since bacon is delicious
Gregory: Karen Hughes who has no credibility says if we have freedom for religion the terrorists will celebrate it as a victory over freedom
Gigot: it doesn’t matter who is right - they are not uniting people therefore they are wrong
Gregory: but who’s fault it that?
Gigot: their fault for being too muslim-y
Gregory: Newt Gingrich says all Muslims are Nazis
Kay: dudes you are making America look insane
Lazio: we know that Muslims are patriots and they can have freedom - just not in New York City
Goldberg: worldwide Islam is complex and painting them with a broad brush sends a very bad message
Gigot: look we’re not saying people can’t build mosques all over the world-
Gregory: mighty white of you
Gigot: just not at this holy Christian site which is sanctified by porn shops and a skyscraper
Gregory: look we all want freedom just not near where so many white people died
Kay: Fluffy I heard you were a moron
Lazio: this mosque might have ties to Iran!
Gregory: Jeff you say Israel is planning to bomb Iran
Goldberg: Obama is being prudent and has given Iran a way out while imposing sanctions - but Iran is close and Israel is ready to strike
Gregory: look our are troops leaving Iraq - too bad
gosh it was such a fun war
Gregory: let me quote a right wing editorial wall street journal that we won in Iraq - USA! USA! USA!
Gigot: we gave them a Republic - aren’t we wonderful?
Gregory: we are true heroes
Gigot: hopefully Iraq can serve our purposes
Gregory: I loved that war - rick can we go back?
Lazio: absolutely - but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t start other new, fun wars
Gregory: I like it
Lazio: we left this epic disaster with honor
Kay: while Gigot does the touchdown end zone dance it’s worth remembering that this was a war based on lies costing billions and thousands of lives and was almost a total failure
Gregory: sure but other than that it was great
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