Sunday, August 29, 2010

Meet the Press from New Orleans - August 29, 2010

Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.)
Mayor Mitch Landrieu (D-N.O.)
Actor Brad Pitt
Radio host Garland Robinette
Author Douglas Brinkley
Actor Wendell Pierce
Williams: Hi the Hurricane anniversary is too important to leave to that Dancin Dave Gregory -
it requires the most insufferably pompous man in television

Audience: yay

Williams: I’m here with U.S. Senator Mary Landrieu and baseball great Cal Ripken

Mitch: no I’m Mitch Landrieu

Williams: who the hell is that?

Mitch: I’m the Mayor of New Orleans

Williams: no shit

Mitch: yep

Williams: We got Nothin’ but Landrieus!

Williams: was it a natural disaster?

Mitch: this was a man-made disaster - the motherfuckin levees broke!

Williams: why should anyone give a shit about
your city?

Mitch: we have the greatest culture in America

Williams: well thank god we have a white Mayor again - you guys are the Cajun Camelot!

Mitch: boo ya!

Williams: you’re white so you’re blameless right?

Mary: the hurricane was great opportunity to remake South Louisiana - the nation has been looting this area for decades!

Williams: George Bush said he would do what it would whatever it takes to fix New Orleans

Mary: unsurprisingly that turned out to be total bullshit

Williams: but Mississippi did great

Mary: Haley Barbour may claim that but that isn’t true either

Williams: Mitch would you ever walk in black neighborhood without a bodyguard and an
armored car?

Mitch: sure I do it all the time

Williams: you’re kidding

Mitch: no really

Williams: Katrina was the best thing ever to happen to the schools of New Orleans

Mitch: well that’s not well put but it’s nice that
FEMA rebuilt every school

Williams: people in the U.S. think y’all is crazy because your state was soaked in oil and your first reaction is ‘let’s keep drilling!’

Mary: [ puts down cell phone ]
Sorry I was checking with the oil companies
before formulating my answer

Williams: what did they tell you to say

Mary: Oil companies are the loveliest best most sincere people on earth

Williams: I see

Williams: Please bash President Obama for me

Mitch: no he did a great job - BP was outrageously irresponsible

Williams: ok please bash Ray Nagin for me

Mitch: look the levees broke and Bush let us down - the rest is irrelevant

Williams: Glen Beck got 300,000 people to ask god to stop by and say hello

Mary: that moron may not know that God has always blessed America and his hate government agenda is fucking stupid

Williams: what do the Saints winning the Superbowl mean to New Orleans

Mitch: now that was God talking Brian -
it was redemption and resurrection!

Williams: Brad you’re a big star - why are you here

Pitt: I love the smell

Williams: what else

Pitt: it’s got verve

Williams: you’re building homes but what if they
get destroyed again?

Pitt: the homes are safe but the levees could
still break

Williams: well that seems like a problem

Pitt: it’s up to the Corps of Engineers

Williams: but they fucked up in the first place

Pitt: true

Williams: BP is so wonderful they took your slogan

Pitt: god I hate those dastardly thieving motherfuckers

Williams: are these Green houses

Pitt: it’s the Greenest area in the whole world -
they produce more energy than they use

Williams: ironic they don’t need the oil they despoil their state to provide for everyone else

Pitt: right

Williams: what happened here 5 years ago?

Robinette: we saw America reduced to a third-world nation it was mind boggling

Williams: I asked George Bush about this and he said you can call me anything you want-

Audience: oh good

Williams: but he said don’t call me a racist

Audience: stupid, incompetent, dishonest?

Bush [at home, drunk]: aw c’mon Robby I did a heckofa job!

Robniette: you can’t deliver food and water to trapped Americans - it doesn’t make any goddam sense!

Williams: it does seem like something you wouldn’t see on the Vineyard

Robinette: we’re the canary in the coal mine - America we are your future - look on us and despair!

Williams: Wendell you come from black neighborhood with a low crime rate - it’s amazing

Pierce: the rebuilding is like a grassroots
Marshall Plan

Brinkley: don’t forget Mississippi

Williams: Hey I passed over Mississippi

Williams: David what is New Orleans?

Brinkley: this is a great historic city but let’s not overstate the case - it’s mostly criminals, cancer
and corruption

Williams: but the Saints!

Brinkley: fuck that - you need to save the wetlands and end the third-world mentality that pervades this place

Robinette: hey America - you want to pay $5 a gallon for gas - keep it fucking up!

Williams: oh noes

Robinette: people are short-sighted and when you ask them to actually think they get a dull glaze on their eyes

Williams: speaking of that here’s an old clip from Meet The Press showing how the federal government failed 5 years ago

Pierce: that disaster lifted the veil on racism in America - it’s an indictment of the nation and if we are going to move past it we have to confront race and class and education in America and then work together to make it right

Brinkley: Katrina showed real poverty in America - but this shit is al over in America

Williams: Rob glass half-full or empty?

Robinette: half-full for New Orleans -
half-empty for America

Williams: and that’s another edition of
Meet The Press

1 comment:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Williams: Glen Beck got 300,000 people to ask god to stop by and say hello

Just for the record, 87,000.

And F.U. WaPoo!