David Axelrod - White House Advisor
Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio)
Gregory: will Khalid Sheik Mohammed be tried
in downtown New York?
Axelrod: well why not - that’s where the crime
Gregory: what about his fashion crime?
Axelrod: he may be tried in Bryant Park
Gregory: what does Obama think?
Axelrod: he thinks that t-shirt is a huge faux pas
Gregory: no I mean about putting him on trial
Axelrod: Bush put terrorists on trial all the time
and the GOP thought it was a great idea
Gregory: so New York City or not?
Axelrod: not a chance
Gregory: how could you not torture the Christmas Day bomber - are you crazy?
Axelrod: the President took an oath to uphold the laws of the United States Fluffyhaid
Gregory: but Bush repealed the Constitution in 2003
Axelrod: Obama is thinking of putting it back in place
Gregory: Obama finally told the Republicans to
fuck off this week - does this mean he will finally admit they are right about everything?
Axelrod: no stupid
Gregory: but doesn’t he have to move to the middle to get anything done?
Axelrod: I heard you were a moron Fluffy
Gregory: you won’t do anything the GOP wants
Axelrod: we accelerated the GOP tax cuts!
Gregory: will Obama skull-fuck the GOP if they continue to block good laws?
Axelrod: they won’t even vote for a commission to cut the debt - the American people hate that shit
Gregory: do they want the economy to fail so
Obama will fail?
Axelrod: of course they do
Gregory: is health care reform dead or not?
Axelrod: no the American people are suffering -
so we must do it
Gregory: Mary Landrieu said it’s dying
Axelrod: Mary - call me!
Gregory: so reform yes or no
Gregory: Is Obama going to cut taxes on overpaid
Gregory: you hate America!
Axelrod: hey he’s proposed 400 tax cuts!
Gregory: Justice Alito mothed “bullshit” during Obama’s speech - was Obama wrong to discuss public policy during his speech to Congress?
Axelrod: Jesus Christ you’re stupid
Gregory: but the poor little court!
Axelrod: Should Hugo Chavez be able to influence American elections???
Gregory: but is a speech to the nation an appropriate place to discuss the law?
Axelrod: you really are a fucking moron
Gregory: are we better off than we were
Axelrod: you bet we are Greggers
[ break ]
Gregory: Boner you say no to everything
Boehner: yes but Obama has not ended the Bush recession and that’s not acceptable to the GOP
Gregory: Obama reached out to you by pointing
out your lies
Boehner: it was great evening - Obama gave me
tips on his great tan
Gregory: Obama said we should stop demonize
Boehner: he’s a well-spoken Guinean Witch Doctor
Gregory: the debt isn’t even his fault!
Boehner: yes but it could be
Boehner: he’s a crazy leftist terrorist
Gregory: oh ok
Boehner: the people are saying ‘Stop! We don’t Washington to end the recession!’
Gregory: are you prepared to say yes to anything
Boehner: the government is going to take over health care!
Gregory: so nothing at all??
Boehner: more war, torture, and tort reform
Boehner: what we won’t stand for is government providing health care
Gregory: if people buy health care across state lines then the federal government will regulate health care
Boehner: nonsense - the American people can regulate the whole industry by themselves
Gregory: that’s insane
Boehner: government is evil!
Gregory: you don’t support debt reform or
a spending freeze
Boehner: that’s ok but if you really want to save money cut the Pentagon
Boehner: sure - now that a liberal is President I
just realized spending is bad
Gregory: people hate the Republican party
Boehner: look we’ve learned our lesson - after
30 years we really are committed to fiscal conservatism - no really this time we mean it!
Gregory: who is the leader of the GOP?
Boehner: Ronald Reagan
Gregory: he’s dead
Boehner: but still a handsome man
Gregory: people hate you
Boehner: the Dems have a majority so they
can’t blame us for it
Gregory: but you filibuster everything
Boehner: don’t say that
Gregory: gays in the military?
Boehner: look I like gays too but why would we
want a strong military when we are in 2 wars and bad economy
Gregory: all brought to you by the GOP
Boehner: that darn Obama!
[ break ]
Gregory: ha Obama can’t walk on water!
Brooks: the GOP won’t raise taxes and the Dems won’t cut spending so we are well and truly fucked
Gregory: why can’t we all just get along
Zuckerman: I can’t believe Obama hasn’t solved the Bush recession!
Gregory: Obama claims he’s not a crazy leftist and yet you heard me demand he become a Republican
Robinson: hey Fluffy he’s already moved to the center enough!
Faber: the US economy just plain sucks
Zuckerman: he does too much and he needs a comprehensive program
Gregory: Mort tell us what Obama told you this week
Zuckerman: it was off the record but I’ll say this - Obama has a secret plan to end unemployment
Zuckerman: Bush gave America the worst economy ever and only a government program can fix it
Gregory: no no no Gene what do you say
Robinson: sure we need a new stimulus
Brooks: it’s a mental recession because people don’t trust the media which is tragic
Gregory: people hate the government
Faber: well you know the stimulus hasn’t been spent yet - the real issue is American has been on a downward slide for 20 years
Zuckerman: don’t forget the states are cutting back all over the place
Gregory: Joe Klein said something interesting--
Robinson: stop right there
Gregory: people hate the government though so why do health care reform first?
Robinson: in Obama’s defense he had to strike
while the iron is hot
Brooks: he should have solved the recession first
Gregory: true but the GOP oppose everything
Robinson: only the bills that they co-sponsor
Gregory: can Republicans govern?
Gregory: should we have a third party?
Robinson: [ laughs out loud ]
Gregory: but Newt says-
Zuckerman: the Democrats are responsible for a recession!
Gregory: is the President doomed in 2012 or will the economy ever come back?
Faber: banks need to lend but it was bad lending that go us into this in the first place
Gregory: is Obama soft on terror?? [ big grin ]
Zuckerman: ever since they let 9/11 happen the Democrats have been vulnerable on terrorism
Gregory: ha that’s all for today