Sunday, February 07, 2010

This Week with Jake Tapper - February 7, 2010

February 7, 2010
Jake Tapper
Tim Geithner - Sec. Of the Treasury

Tapper: Good morning - unemployment is still really high and even more jobs were lost in the Bush recession than we thought - which is good news
for the Republicans

Geithner: hey when we got here we were losing 750,000 jobs and now we’re also losing jobs
but not as many

Tapper: are we going to double dip?

Geithner: no - that’s like putting your whole mouth
in the bowl!!

Tapper: are you doing enough?

Geithner: we’re doing enough - but Congress is not

Tapper: oh well that’s ok then

Tapper: President Brown says the stimulus
didn’t create any jobs

Geithner: hey I just read a cool article in Cosmo -
"10 Ways to Stimulate Your Man’s Economy"

Tapper: tell me about your failures

Geithner: we’ve made dramatic progress from a shitty economy to a sucky one

Tapper: but isn’t the real problem is that Americans don’t make anything useful and don’t have any money

Geithner: I have $10 in my pocket

Tapper: Mad Eye Moody says the debt is too high

Geithner: hey I’m a real financial wizard

Tapper: are triple AAA bonds the best investment
in America?

Geithner: I don’t trust the auto club

Tapper: you’re not serious about cutting the debt
are you?

Geither: for god’s sake Obama promised a fake spending freeze

Tapper: oh pshaw anyone can do that

Geithner: deficits matter and we have to raise
taxes and cut spending

Tapper: sure-fire election winner genius

Geithner: I iz smart

Tapper: You and I know we have to cut Medicare and Medicaid

Geithner: I am giving you a serious look

Tapper: I also giving you my serious look

Geithner: I also - look at my serious face

Tapper: speaking of right wing talking points -
will you promise to never raise taxes?

Geithner: I iz deeply serious

Tapper: People hate government - is this mostly your fault?

Geithner: no

Tapper: but you have so many fuck-ups

Geithner: but I have serious face

Tapper: that’s true but so do I

Tapper: Obama’s HAMP program sucks

Geithner: true but I supported it when I thought it was a universal HEMP program

Tapper: you toke dude?

Geithner: dude I get baked every night

Tapper: that explains a lot actually

Tapper: you don’t even want to regulate banks -
why not?

Geithner: dude I don’t intend on working in government forever

Tapper: and they won’t be able to compete with other global criminals!

Geithner: Jake you are wise

Tapper: you have suffered so much it’s like a banking ‘Hurt Locker’

Geithner: the economy came to a sudden stop -
it was like driving a Pinto made by Toyota

Tapper: but personally Timmy it must have driven you crazy

Geithner: indeed it I did Jakester

Tapper: Timmy - call me

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