Sunday, January 10, 2010

Meet The Press - January 10, 2010

Tim Kaine - DNC Chair
Michael Steele - RNC Chair
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger - Gov. Calif (R)
Chuck Todd
Andrea Mitchell

Gregory: wow Reid apologized for saying Obama was pretty fly for a light-skinned black guy

Kaine: hey he was trying to be nice

Gregory: yeah but all racially insensitive remarks are all the same therefore Democrats are hypocrites

Steele: damm right - it’s a total double standard - saying we should have segregationist President
is just like using the word Negro

Kaine: ha that’s funny - you do realize that you are chair of a segregationist party and you are black?

Steele: what!? I am?!

Gregory: what is the mood of the American people?

Steele: people are very angry that they don’t have health care, jobs and a lot of debt

Gregory: Republicans would never let that happen

Kaine: we’re trying to slowly to come out of
the hole dug by massive epic GOP failures

Gregory: but the retirements!

Kaine: all Republicans!

Steele: I’m excited about the crop of insane crazy people we have lined up to run for office in 2010

Kaine: I believe Steele when he says Republicans are not ready to lead

Gregory: even liberal Obama supporters like Schwarzenegger says Obama’s health plan sucks

Steele: yeah but we will prevent people from
getting sick so it’s all good

Steele: this health plan is all about debt and deficits and you know how Republicans hate that

Gregory: except for the last 40 years

Steele: yeah well except for that

Kaine: I want to see Republicans run on
the craptacular health system we have now
- I really do

Gregory: Mike no one likes you and you’re
a little crazy

Steele: are you kidding! I’m totally down on
the street with elections! I got money off the hook!

Gregory: Is the GOP politicizing terrorism?

Steele: what!? Dick Cheney is right! Obama
never uses the word terrorism! And he hasn’t
closed Gitmo!

Kaine: good lord what a bunch of motherfuckers these Republicans are

[ break ]

Gregory: Arnold your governorship has been an utter disaster - is the worst finally over?

Schw: nah I tink ve haf much vorse to gom

Gregory: ok

Schwarzenegger: ve haf to stimulade da eegonomy

Gregory: but the debt and deficit and taxes!
David Ignatius fears we spend too much on social spending

Schwarzenegger: da taxes vill stifle da eegonomy

Gregory: oh?

Schwarzenegger: een gullyfornia ve must cut
zee penshuns

Gregory: [ laughing ] wow you are so right and handsome too

Schwarzenegger: I haf to tried to eggsplain to ze peeple zat ve haf no money

Gregory: you imposed draconian cuts - and yet you need money from the federal government

Schwarzenegger: nah ve need zem to pay
for border zeguridy

Gregory: was Obama’s stimulus a good thing?

Schwarzenegger: yah eet vas very gud but
eet vas only one-time zing

Gregory: what if you don’t get the money from the federal government that you will never get?

Schwarzenegger: nah eets like lifting a heavy ting you don’t give up - you just take more steroids until you haf grotesque mussles

Gregory: you oppose Obama’s health care reform

Schwarzenegger: yah ve are better than Nebraska so zey shuld fuk off

Gregory: good points

Schwarzenegger: zat’s againt de law to buy votes!

Gregory: um right

Gregory: what is the future for education which you are destroying?

Schwarzenegger: we changed de law that zed parents can’t be involved in skools

Gregory: what an odd law

Schwarzenegger: and Obama vas very helpful

Gregory: Obama hasn’t kept America safe

Schwarzenegger: Galm down Fluffy

Gregory: but all the terror attacks under Obama!

Schwarzenegger: I haf heard you were da moron

Gregory: where does an Austrian bodybuilder turned actor fit in a racist teabagging party of incompetent crazy people

Schwarzenegger: I haf many more silly one-liners
to deliver

Gregory: but the GOP is fucking nuts

Schwarzenegger: ve must work for da peeple

Gregory: oh

Schwarzenegger: ve are still living off da Eisenhower era and ve must built high speed rail

Gregory: good lord that makes sense

Schwarzenegger: ve vill win seats in 2010
but not because ve are gud but just because zats da pendulum

Gregory: What’s next for Ahnold?

Schwarzenegger: fix da sewers

[ banging noise ]

Schwarzenegger: pay no attention zat is just
da people rioting

Gregory: Arnold doesn’t like the health care bill which is bad for Obama

Todd: yes you could see a vein pop and that
is so sad

Mitchell: Saint Arnold is not partisan and that is a real problem for Obama - if you lose the muscleman all is lost

Gregory: McCain’s economist says we need
to spend more

Todd: right - people don’t realize that Obama is responsible for all the problems in the states as well

Gregory: this proves that government doesn’t work

Mitchell: the tea party is the most important
group in America

Todd: the recall of Gray Davis and election of Schwarzenegger was the first tea party success ever

Gregory: that worked out so well

Gregory: maybe the problem is that the American people only reward politicians who promise big spending, lower taxes, and killing people

Todd: they do love that

Gregory: look at all the Democratic retirements!!

Mitchell: the Democrats are clearly fucked

Gregory: people elect Republicans, they fuck up, vote for Democrats, and then they hate Democrats for not solving the GOP fuck ups and so vote Republican

Todd: makes sense to me

Gregory: the GOP have problems too

Todd: well only because they are controlled by people who are largely insane

Mitchell: but Saint Arnold is non-partisan

Todd: and he could never win a GOP primary because he’s not nuts enough

Gregory: David Broder says no more Mr. Spock
it’s time for Admiral Kirk!

Mitchell: it turns out the CIA double agent was working for al qaeda

Gregory: oops

Todd: Obama’s Presidency is totally reactive - so we have moved to the ass-kicking phase of his first term

Gregory: harry reid is a fucking idiot

Todd: the Dems can only hope he’s defeated

Gregory: is Obama over it?

Todd: he’s a very forgiving negro



Sharkbabe said...

wow, brilliance, LMAO etc .. even more than usual

your translations need to be made VIRAL, they should be a rapid-response blog INSTITUTION to dismiss and ridicule these farkin idiots

"calm down Fluffy" - such a beautiful summation of everything, i always look forward to it

clay barham said...

It looks like the lamestream media is trying to poison the Tea Party supporters by convincing them the GOP is taking control of it, when in reality; it is a majority of republicans who are part of the Tea Party with little concern for what the GOP thinks one way or another. The GOP has let us down since Reagan, having rebelled against Reagan's policies. Be the "go to" person Rush spoke of. See for the roots of what separates us.

The Mathmos said...

And what are those Reagan policies the GOP have rebelled against?


Low government spending?

Seems to me Reagan himself rebelled against those policies.