Sunday, March 29, 2009

Face The Nation with Barack Obama - March 29, 2009

Face The Nation
March 29, 2009
Guest: President Barack Obama
Schieffer: the economy is clearly the most important thing right now - are we invading in Pakistan?

Obama: let me put it this way - i don't want to but i will

Schieffer: that sounds awesome

Obama: we have to get the people of Pakistan
on our side

Schieffer: what's your message to the people
of that nation?

Obama: we want to be your friend - so make war on the radical muslims or we will bomb you

Schieffer: isn't Pakistan a muslim nation?

Obama: that's why we also have a diplomatic approach

Schiffer: what's that?

Obama: sending them food, doctors, engineers
and 100 million bibles

Schieffer: but what if it doesn't work?

Obama: i know Bush failed but this is different

Schieffer: how so?

Obama: ‘cause I'm the President motherfucker

Schieffer: what about Afghanistan?

Obama: we are going to pour resources in there
- but not too many

Schieffer: so if we don’t succeed are you going send tens of thousands of more troops?

Obama: no I will declare failure and go home

Schiffer: how do we win there?

Obama: foreign aid and not just
military spending

Schiffer: can we leave Iraq now?

Obama: what are you kidding - no way

Schieffer: Mexico is getting crazy

Obama: well we’re sending them a shitload
of guns

Schieffer: so should we invade Mexico?

Obama: well let’s hold off on that decision til next month

Schieffer: should we bail out the U.S. auto industry?

Obama: maybe - but they have to promise not to
be such total fucktards

Schieffer: where’s my middle class tax cut??

Obama: it’s already in the stimulus bill for the next two years - just like I promised

Schieffer: really - that’s not the what the Republican
party told me to say

Obama: well Bobster maybe you should pay more attention

Schieffer: I want to ask you about the bonsuses

Obama: so ask me grandpa

Schieffer: the anger at AIG bonuses was terrible
- don’t you agree?

Obama: no I don’t Bobby

Schieffer: but but but the poor executives

Obama: fuck em

Schieffer: grrrrrrrrrr

Obama: However I am focused on recovering the whole U.S. economy

Schieffer: did you read the bankers the riot act?

Obama: I told them had working single moms are paying their bonuses so they should show a little fucking restraint

Schieffer: what did they say

Obama: they said ok - from now only $10,000 wastebaskets

Schiffer: are you like Thomas Jefferson - a guy who hates being President?

Obama: Hell to the no! I love being a consequential President!

Schiffer: Really

Obama: It’s Obama’s nation now - you all just live in it!

Schiffer: awesome

Obama: [ high fives Schieffer ]

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