Sunday, March 22, 2009

Meet the Press - March 22, 2009

Meet The Press
March 22, 2009
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger (R-Calif.)
Gov. Ed Rendell (D-Penn.)
Mayor Mike Bloomberg (D-NYC)

Gregory: explain the economy to me muscle-man

Schwarzenegger: ve need da bridges and da roads and to vill da potholz

Rendell: we need a Supertrain!!

Gregory: sexy!

Rendell: also sewage plants

Dave: ewwww

Rendell: hey - when you gotta go you gotta go

Bloomberg: for 30 years we put off all the big decisions and now it's time to do the hard work and admit the party is over

Gregory: ok that's fine but hasn't Obama failed?

Bloomberg: no he hasn't you dancing pinhead

Gregory: did Obama hand you a trillion dollars?

Rendell: no but he did serve us Iced Tea

Gregory: Look Americans are used to being promised a free lunch - are they really willing to pay for the things we need??

Schwarzenegger: vhy nawht?

Gregory: what about the light rail being built by hedge funds?

Schwarzenegger: eees a krate investment!

Gregory: ok let's a talk reality - the US government is projecting a huge deficit - we can't afford new bridges!

Bloomberg: sure we can dancing dave - we invest now for the future and turn around the economy at the same time

Gregory: no no no we can't afford it

Bloomberg: you silly right wing shill

Rendell: i agree with Mike that you are a moron

Gregory: the Asbury Park Press said we should put the guys in AIG in prison - also that Bruce rocks!!!!

Schwarzenegger: ah doan care about zee prizon ah just vant to rebilt gullyvornia

Gregory: but the people are angry Conan!!

Rendell: I can tell you people in my state are very angry

Gregory: about teh bonuses?

Rendell: no because they are forced to live in Pennsylvania

Bloomberg: Obama is a workaholic

Gregory: so he is like George Bush

Bloomberg: no i said WORKaholic

Gregory: oh sorry

Gregory: let me quote David Brooks for balance - he said we shouldn't get mad because bonuses are less than the US GDP

Schwarzenegger: vee vill turn crisis into uppodunity lak vee deed in zee Derminator

Gregory: Obama says we should not yield to politics of the moment and then said channel the anger to do something constructive- isn't that breaking your promise?

Rendell: i heard you were an idiot

Gregory: we need to give AIG more money - Obama must defend them even though NBC spent a week stoking the anger

Bloomberg: as the richest person in New York I am quite optimistic

Gregory: there is rampant anger in America!!! Obama must stop the anger the media created!!!

Bloomberg: truly you are a wonder of nonsensical ravings

Rendell: you should appear on Wanking with the Stars

Schwarzenegger: i zuport geither - vee mast accentuate zee bositif

Bloomie: i support timmy as well

Rendell: me too

Gregory: ok ok ok - but it is a political fact that Obama has failed

Rendell: how do you know that

Gregory: Rush Limbaugh said so

Bloomie: Obama is pacing himself

Gregory: Steroid boy people hate you

Schwarzenegger: ess naht a tumor!!

Gregory: huh?

Schwarzenegger: vee mast but beeple to verk - arbeit mach free

Gregory: i don't eat at Arby's

Bloomberg: if we don't get more money from Albany i will personally throw Shelly Silver off the Brooklyn Bridge

Dave: not David Patterson?

Bloomie: too easy

Rendell: by July Americans will feel great and take lunch pails to work

Gregory: Obama joked about the special olympics - so bad!

Gregory: Gov this must hurt you especially since you are a muscle-bound cretin

Schwarzenegger: zats raht peepel laffed at me ven i vas a skinny boy in Owstria

Gregory: that's so sad

Schwarzenegger: i showed zem - i became vamus and zen bowled in zowth affrica and gott beat by Nelzon Mandela

[break ]

Gregory: finally America is going to buy toxic assets from the big banks

Burnett: yes thank god - then the banks will be freed from their mistakes as they should be

Gregory: but the banks might lose a penny - so taxpayers must give them more

Brokaw: some guy sent me an e-mail saying Wall Street misses the days of free money

Gregory: what investors want is clarity

Burnett: that and money for nothing

Gregory: well of course

Burnett: it's unacceptable that they may have to pay taxes on they money they stole

Brokaw: Obama needs to do more and farther and faster - 100 days is too short

Gregory: we must hold Obama to a higher standard than anyone ever

Burnett: right

Brokaw: exactly

Burnett: i spent all weekend talking CEOs and they all like Timmy Geithner - but miss Hank Paulson and his free money

Brokaw: most of us have 2 or 3 houses and need at least one more

Gregory: of course

Brokaw: Obama's questionnaire is 60 pages!

Gregory: what is with all this populist rage that the media is talking about??

Gregory: Pastor Meachem says this just like Hitler and WWII

Brokaw: it turns out Bush and all businessmen were liars

Gregory: wow Obama is really worse than I thought

Brokaw: Citigroup gets free money and single moms are getting screwed

Gregory: the invisible hand is giving us the reach around

Gregory: it’s the invisible hand job

Burnett: the Gilded Age is giving us a Golden Shower

Brokaw: Obama and the GOP need to step up their game like the kids in the NCAA

Gregory: mo' money!!

Burnett: why are people so mad at the thieves?

Gregory: dunno

Burnett: people want Obama to sieze the anger and then give Wall Street trillions

Gregory: NBC spent a week stoking this anger but isn't this 90% tax bill wrong

Brokaw: it's demagoguery - that's what tommy friedman told me!

Gregory: i agree

Brokaw: Wall Streeters deserve a lot of money -- after all they really want it

Brokaw: i went out and talked to the little people out in the rest of America outside of Wall St. and DC

Gregory: who did you talk to?

Brokaw: the CEO of GE Jeff Immelt

Burnett: can we reinflate the bubble?

Gregory: we can if we blow really, really hard

Brokaw: god knows you are trying your best Dave
Author: Culture of Truth

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