Saturday, September 29, 2007

Diane Sawyer Interviews Jenna - Sept. 28 2007

Diane Sawyer Interviews Jenna
September 28, 2007

Scene: Night, remote Jamaican neighborhood

Nixon BFF Diane Sawyer:

wow jenna is so brave she went into a dangerous black jamaican neighborhood!

Jenna: well dood this is where you have to score the really good stuff

Sawyer: wow jenna u r so brave

Jenna: thats how i roll

Sawyer: hey poor black lady show some respect this girls dad is the Presnit

Black woman: wow you seem so dim

Sawyer: if you knew america better you wouldn't be so surprised

Sawyer: i tried to get into a jamaican sex club but they said no you don't fit our standards

Sawyer: did your dad ever tell you stop drinking like Britney Spears on a bad weekend

Jenna: no

Sawyer: you used false ID for god’s sake

Jenna: hey it was college i got good grades

Sawyer: omg in what basket weaving

Jenna: mom and dad let us grow up without ever any judgments

Sawyer: ah i think we see the problem

Jenna: they rock

Sawyer: did they ever say why can't you be like the Nixon gurlz

Jenna: who the fuck are they

Sawyer: which presidential kid do wish you were like

Jenna: chelsea clinton

Sawyer: who is the disciplinarian in the family mom or dad

Jenna: Grandma Barbara that woman is pure evil

Diane: describe yur fiancee

Jenna: he's outdoorsy he's a lumberjack and he's okay

Diane: but he's really political

Jenna: no not really he only worked with karl rove to get ahead

Diane: when did you know you wanted him to be your first husband

Jenna: when he nailed me

Diane: tell me about the proposal

Jenna: he rendered me sleepless and at dawn he surprised me at the top of a mountain

Diane: you said yes

Jenna: i had no sleep or food and had just climbed a hill fer crissake

Diane: does he get to sleep with Not Jenna

Jenna: yes i will be traveling alot

Diane: what will you do differently from Chimpy and the Joker

Jenna: well based on their example and my whole family i think we'll just skip the whole having kids thing

Diane Sawyer: yes three generations of imbeciles is probably enough

Diane: your dad is teh most powerful man in teh hemisphere

Jenna: yes I’ve learned to read and met black people

Diane: you wrote a book

Jenna: yes its like bob marley meets a Bennetton ad

Diane: someone once said we can't all do great things but we can all do small things and i think that sums up my encounters with the bush family - good night