Sunday, September 16, 2007

Meet The Press - September 16, 2007

Meet The Press with Tim Russert
September 16, 2007
Guests: Senator John Kerry and Senator John McCain

Tim Russert: iz irak war good idea? we ask 2 doods from vietnam

Our guests are john "how can you ask someone 2 B teh last man 2 die 4 a mistake" kerry and john "i wuz teh pow" mccain

Lets get 2 it

John McCain: we haf to defeat al qaeda

Russert: dood people are dying and bush sucks

McCain: that's true but it was all about Rumsfeld and now we've adopted the McCain surge we’re winning

Russert: so why stay there

McCain: genocide blah blah

John Kerry: as you may have noticed Bush is a liar, a loser and a total moron who has no clue how to create real change in Iraq

Russert: i did notice that but i can't say it

Kerry: we've empowered terrorists and the Iraqis have to know we are leaving so it will be up to them McCain and the crazies want to stay for nothing

Russert: so what's your solution

Kerry: pull out slowly over a year

McCain: no way - we can't leave we have to control the whole region and by region i mean all land and oceans from the Mediterranean to China

Russert: wow you are crazy

McCain: look we changed the mission and the Kurds are happy and after all Dr. Kissinger says we should stay and he's a liberal

Tim: uh huh

Kerry: newsflash dood! Al qaeda was not in Iraq until we invaded so congratulations McCain you just gave them a safe haven - bang up job by you and your buddy President Stupid

McCain: i'm very proud of Gen. Petraeus and our semi-safe al qaeda haven

Kerry: where is Condi Rice??

Russert: Ferragammos?

McCain: so sad John Kerry wants to go back to failed policies of George Bush

Kerry: oh I see you are insane

McCain: Gen. Petraeus sez it's the central front on the war on terror

Kerry: yeah but he only says that because Al Qaeda says so

McCain: well, they ought to know

Kerry: we should fight them where we want to

McCain: oh please, you don't think Petreaus comes to his conclusions by talking to experts -- he communes with god

Kerry: terrorists are in Iraq because we are there!

McCain: which is why we should stay!

Kerry: which is why we should leave!

McCain: Jim Jones says we should stay

Russert: actually he disagrees with that

McCain: no he doesn't

Russert: yes he does I know he was on my show

McCain: yeah but I've known him for 30 years

Russert: you’re deluded

McCain: it's hard and tough and long and full of disappointments

Russert: Iraq?

McCain: no my life

McCain: we still have troops in Okinawa and the Karate Kid III was a great movie

Russert: that's true - but what happens in a year when nothing has changed?

McCain: i will blow out my cheeks even more

Kerry: there is a power struggle going on in Iraq and Chipmunk doesn't get it - no surge could succeed

[blows up cheeks]

Kerry: go ahead puffy but i'm going to read this New York Times editorial from soldiers who know what they are talking about

Russert: how long can you fuck over the American people

McCain: not forever

Kerry: oh just great

McCain: losing is bad

Kerry: Osama is not in Iraq stupid

McCain: we've only been in Iraq for 6 months

Kerry: 5 1/2 years and nothing has been accomplished - they can’t “train” Iraqi soldiers for gawd’s sake

McCain: hey learning how to hold a gun is tough - like how do you point it and shit like that

McCain: you want us to lose

Kerry: define victory

McCain: I'll know it when I see it

Russert: war porn

McCain: Iraq is like Terri Schiavo we can't pull the plug now!

Kerry: wacko

McCain: Dems are proposing failure

Kerry: Bush is a failure


Timmeh: the biggest issue in the campaign is if we should worship Generals or not

After all Rudy has a good point how can you support holding Saddam accountable and not want to put in prison??

Panel: ha ha

Timmeh: ha ha ha what does all this mean!??

Chuck Todd: so sad McCain should be in command but sadly the nursing home has restricted his hours

Timmeh: winner of the week

Todd: Rudy, he rocks

Ryan Lizza: he rulz he took 'em with demagoguery

Timmeh: why didn't hillary condemn an ad she had nothing to do with??

Lizza: she didn't because she needs to get votes from the extreme left

Todd: Moveon is like Chris Hitchens they're fun and you used to like them - but then they keep showing up at parties drunk and pissing on the carpet yelling ‘fuck you all’

Rusert: why are the pundits going after fred mcGruff???

Lizza: Fred Thompson is hardly trying - i don't know if that's good or bad

Todd: so sad us Beltway types go after Thompson because we're elitist and out of touch

Russert: oh indeed except me I keep in touch with the common man out at Nantucket

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