Sunday, August 19, 2007

Meet the Press - Sunday August 19, 2007

Meet the Press
Sunday August 19, 2007
Host: David Greogry
Guest: Gregory’s Dancing Partner and Former Top White House Adviser, Karl Rove

Gregory: dood you completely suck

Rove: yeah but SUNY Buffalo said we were going to lose in 2000 and we got the the Supreme Court to put us in office

Gregory: but-

Rove: let me finish then we had 9/11 and swift boating and we won some more

Gregory: but now people hate the Republicans

Rove: oh sure the GOP is trouble but we were also in 1999 and we managed to steal that election and we'll do it again in 2008

Gregory: you lost your national security advantage

Rove: whatever I’m going to lower expectations about 2008 look we probably have no chance

Gregory: are you screwed?

Rove: i don't think either party can win

Gregory: what?

Rove: it's very hard to win maybe we should have coup

Greogry: there's an idea

Rove: We should not have won in 2000

Gregory: that's true

Rove: Bush is a hero he gave us the The Greatest Day Ever and put us on a war footing and that is awesome

Gregory: uh huh

Rove: Bush takes on big crazy challenges and fails

Gregory: most impressive but he is not a Jedi yet

Rove: we're in a tough war no doubt about it but we still Tatooine

Greogry: ok

Rove: let's not be a society where you judge presidents by their failures remember FDR did a lousy job with WWII

Gregory: Cheney said Iraq would be a quagmire in 1994

Rove: you know what? you know what? you know what? that was 1994. On 9/11 we l learned that we live in a Dangerous World and Saddam was ignoring the United Nations!!! Thumbing his nose!!! Terrorists!!! Oil for Food!!!

Greogry: so 9/11 meant that Iraq would not be a quagmire?

Rove: yes after four plane were hijacked that meant we would be greeted with candy and flowers in Iraq

Gregory: oh ok

Rove: look after 9/11 we learned that muslims plan to seize oil in the middle east and use those funds to launch an attack on the West and make all our women wear burkhas

Greogry: you were wrong about everything so why do you think it was a good idea to invade???

Rove: look Iraq has oil and we had to seize it before non-Christians did

Gregory: well that makes sense

Gregory: are we going to invade Iran i want a fun war

Rove: yes

Gregory: you destroyed the CIA

Rove: i recollect that i didn't kill anyone

Gregory: why did you do that?

Rove: i can't tell you

Gregory: did Bush yell at you?

Rove: no i did everything right as soon as i broke the law i talked to Bush's DOJ

Gregory: did you do the right thing?

Rove: Joe Wilson lied he was never in Africa now let me lie some more about Joe Wilson based on crap the RNC made up

Gregory: dish on Hillary

Rove: people hate her

Gregory: Bush's numbers are much worse

Rove: so fuck you

Gregory: you want her don't you

Rove: i'm a furry didn't you know

Gregory: Hillary sez you hate the military

Rove: no bush appears with his little soliders all the time

Gregory: is she a strong candidate

Rove: no let me go after her strength she is against health care, drugs, liablity reform, and she wants to kill elderly people

Gregory: you hate US Attorneys

Rove: that's true but i really hate Congress how can Bush be a Dictator and run the world if elected officials are always on his ass

Greogry: you cut you teeth committing crimes with CREEP in 1972

Rove: ratfucking -- man those were some fun times

Gregory: will you dance with me again

Rove: no way even i was embarrassed by that

[ break - panel ]

Brownstein: Rove and Bush mobilized their own side, generated by lies and hate, but this have come back to bite them in the ass

O'Beirne: i agree that Bill Clinton was a bad president and destroyed the Democratic party

Gregory: funny i don't recall saying that

O'Beirne: hey Rove did win three times

Gregory: he sez he didn't confirm Plame

Cooper: oh Rove is just a fucking liar believe me he told me about it

Gregory: he won't apologize

Cooper: he's inhuman

Hardwood: Rove is brilliant and he's a historian but c'mon he's not that good

O'Beirne: Fred Grumpy has to run because George Allen used the word macacca

Gregory: gee what a great party you got there

Rudy Giuliani: my family hates me it's like the Godfather

Brownstein: true he's an evil bastard but it's mature to judge him for his record of being covered in dust

Gregory: Obama is really blasting Hillary he used to be cool and at ease

Cooper: my wife works for Hillary

Gregory: whoa disclosure dood they're going to take away your Beltway Pundit Card

Brownstein: if she wins in the Iowa then it's over

Brownstein: It's Change vs. More Change

O'Beirne: democratic primary voters are evil they're all haters

Harwood: i get an erection when i hear Fred Thompson say he's going to "talk straight"

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