Sunday, August 05, 2007

Meet The Press, August 5, 2007

Meet The Press, August 5, 2007


Russet: Iraq completely sucks

Gates: well, that is true, but i would point out that the government is in chaos -- on the other hand something good happened somewhere

Russert: what when wrong

Gates: the middle east is a place where people frequently disagree - who knew?

Russert: anything good?

Gates: there is one stable town or so they tell me

Russert: should the US ally with former Sunni insurgents who killed a lot of Americans

Gates: hey that's politics in the middle east -- you make a deal with the doods who were trying to kill you for money or sell them you're wives - whatever works

Russert: you're wrong about everything why should anyone trust you

Gates: because we're all hiding behind General Petraeus and the rest of the troops

Russert: but you do suck

Gates: yes but not anymore we've got men with ribbons on their chests in charge now!

Russert: sound pretty bad

Gates: sure but let's not throw the sunni out with the baathwater

Russert: September deadline?

Gates: right by September we are going to have to issue a report announcing some progress and asking for more time -- no ifs ands or buts

Russert: you really, really suck

Gates: whatever, i don't give a shit anymore

Russert: why not do Baker-Hamilton?

Gates: Bush did adopt their proposals

Russert: really?

Gates: well they did say a surge was not necessarily a bad idea

Russert: why are we losing?

Gates: before it was whack-a-mole now we're capturing and killing al qaeda

Russert: political solution?

Gates: Iraqi parliament should not have gone on vacation

Russert: are we going to leave?

Gates: who the hell knows

Russert: the DoD thinks Congress asking questions is unpatriotic

Gates: well it could have been a better letter but Cheney was right to say Hillary reinforces enemy propaganda after all Bush is the King of the America Empire

Russert: are you fuckers going to go after Osama or not?

Gates: yes but we would TELL Musharraf first therefore Obama is naive and Bush walks on water


Russert: what should we have in Presidents Doris - loyal, strong, relaxed

Doris K Goodwin: we should look at the candidates and scour their pasts for hints that they are like the presidents i've studied

Russert: how so

Goodwin: the good ones suffered alot and were magnanimous - also Lincoln went to theatre alot

Russert: yeah that worked out real well

Mendell Book: Obama is naive but not specific so he's really cool

Mendell: Obama has an amazing sense of calm and cool he's like a white sidney poitier

Bernstein Book: Hillary can swear like a sailor and she will fuck your shit up

Bernstein: she is smart but a bit of a hater and the Big Dog is her strongest asset

Russert: DailyKos! Lobbyists!

Hillary: i love corporate lobbyists!

YearlyKos: boooooo!!!!!!!

Obama: Lobbyists rule this country dudette

Edwards: you don't have personal lobbyists do you

Brody: hey, it's experience vs. newness vs. establishment

Russert, reading books:

Hillary is an arrogant bitch and Obama is an arrogant uppity black man

Goodwin: i hear Hillary can be warm but she has to project it like Reagan and hey ambition is good if it's not like to get rich or something

Bernstein: Hillary can be prickly but her lobbyist answer was pretty honest

Mendell: look Obama is intelligent and people like that can be condescending

Russert: what's Bush's excuse?

Mendell: i dunno but anyone who runs for Prez is ambitious

[Obama on tape]: we are going to smash Pakistan if we have to

Goodwin: hey it's new and different

Brody: Obama knows he needs to project knowledge of foreign affairs what better way than to threaten to kill someone

Russert: people want a new direction and new ideas and they don't trust Hillary

Bernstein: God help us we've got to get behind the curtain and make sure we're not electing another George W. Bush

Mendell: the Iowa voters know what they're doing

Russert: but who wants to know more about people like JFK or Nixon of LBJ -- god i want to know less about these people

Goodwin: who cares about some 6 point plan i want to know how often they masturbate

Russert: why is Rudy leading?

Brody: GOP voters luv themselves some fascism

Russert: irony os Romney dead last nationally but is leading in Iowa

Brody: tehy likey teh mormon

Russert: Dems lead on most issues but not terra, moral values, and homeland security

[ed's note: this is why General Clark is so likely to be on the ticket]

Mendell: Obama learned how to fight Terror in the Illinois State Senate

Goodwin: we know that Rudy was great on 9/11 but what about before that -- of course may have changed after 9/11

Russert: yeah he became even more of an asshole

Berstein: your poll didn't mention honesty

Russert: yes it did, Obama leads and Hillary doesn't

Bernstein: oh well

Brody: the CBN thinks Hillary should admit mistakes that would be really great for her

Goodwin: i just want her talk about her health care debacle and travelgate

Russert: i love it!


No comments: