Sunday, March 15, 2015

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – March 15, 2015

Jon Karl
Pierre Thomas
Sen. Roy Blunt (R-MO)
Rep. William Clay (D-MO)
David Remnick
James Carville
Greta Van Susteren
Ana Navarro

Stephanopoulos: OMG Hillary Clinton's
e-mails is biggest scandal ever!!

Karl: John Boehner is going to have
a House investigation into her e-mails!

Karl: Clinton has mishandled this scandal!!

Karl: she violated State Dept policy!!

Clinton: I followed all laws and regulations!

Karl: you waited to turn your e-mails over!

Karl: she's hiding something!

Karl: but she's still popular!

Karl: but the State department
didn't preserve any e-mails!!

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: this is so terrible for Hillary

Carville: this is a big bunch of nothin!

Stephanopoulos: really?

Carville: it's like wrestling an
alligator in a pool of warm piss

Van Susteren: maybe she did
follow the law but it's still wrong

Stephanopoulos: why

Van Susteren: what was she thinking?

Navarro: she's paranoid and secretive

Carville: aw bullshit

Navarro: with the Clintons come
drama and scandals

Carville: that's like saying a rooster
comes with an umbrella and a fifth of whiskey

Remnick: let get to the real issue here –
I cannot understand what James is saying

Stephanopoulos: none of us can David

Remnick: Hillary Clinton is
acting like we are stupid

Carville: maybe y'all is stupid

Remnick: look I'm a
liberal but this is deflating

Carville: it's like a balloon made
of grasshopppers and gravy

Remnick: this brings back bad memories
of all the fake scandals of the 90s

Van Susteren: this won't change
a single vote for or against her

Stephanopoulos: maybe she did 
nothing wrong but she didn't spin 
this fake scandal very well

Carville: there is a double 
standard for the Clintons

Navarro: they think the rules 
don't apply to them

Carville: Jeb Bush hid his e-mails too

Navarro: it's different because Jeb
used personal e-mail before he was
governor so that makes it okay

Stephanopoulos: I see

Navarro: also he's disclosed some e-mails

Stephanopoulos: but only a small 
fraction that's just a fact

Carville: he's hiding 90% of his e-mails!

Navarro: okay let's say it's exactly
the same – Bush got better press
out of his scandal therefore he wins

Carville: exactly my point – there is
a double standard applied to the Clintons

Navarro: forget the merits –
the truth has a liberal bias anyway

Remnick: with all due respect
trading accusations is sad what 
with war in the middle east

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: meanwhile Obama
is in the middle of negotiations with Iran
over nuclear weapons and the GOP
sent fan mail to the Ayatollah

Obama: I'm embarrassed for the
Republicans – what moron sends
a letter to the Ayatollah?

McCain: okay maybe that letter
was stupid in retrospect

Rubio: you're not bombing ISIS
because you love Iran so much

Kerry: you sir are a true idiot

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: welcome Sentaor Blunt

Blunt: good morning George

Stephanopoulos: you sent a letter to the
Ayatollah telling him not give up his nuclear
weapons program – how stupid was that?

Blunt: it was a great idea
it was essentially an op-ed

Stephanopoulos: addressed to a foreign
leader in the middle of direct delicate
talks with the U.S. President

Blunt: I suppose

Stephanopoulos: this letter will make it
harder to convince our allies to apply
sanctions on Iran you claim you want!

Blunt: I will not cede foreign 
policy to the U.N.!

Stephanopoulos: um okay

Blunt: Obama is giving away the store!

Stephanopoulos: what would you suggest?

Blunt: no deal is better than a bad deal!

Stephanopoulos: so you want a
deal with Iran just a better one?

Blunt: why are we moving toward
Iran building a nuclear bomb?

Stephanopoulos: the administration
says it's trying to stop exactly that

Stephanopoulos: let's talk 
about Hillary's e-mails!

Blunt: the Clintons think the 
rules don't apply to them!

Stephanopoulos: Republicans in Congress
don't keep copies their e-mails either

Blunt: that's totally different

Stephanopoulos: why is it different?

Blunt: Secretaries of State are special
and must preserve all their e-mails!

Stephanopoulos: Colin Powell 
didn't keep a single e-mail

Blunt: he's a saint and the Clintons are bad!

Stephanopoulos: what about Ferguson?

Blunt: a lot of those protesters were violent

Stephanopoulos: okay

Blunt: the police should be more militarized!

Stephanopoulos: of course

Blunt: we need more charter schools!

Stephanopoulos: you don't
need to be coy Roy

Blunt: bye George

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: omg there is more
turmoil in Ferguson - I didn't think
that was possible

Thomas: Ferguson was just about to
begin healing then two cops were shot

Holder: this was a damn punk!

Thomas: the Police Chief and City Manager
quit after the DOJ report showed the
whole town is a corrupt racist mess

Obama: the entire city was violating
the Constitution and shaking down
African-Americans while letting 
white people break the law with impunity

Thomas: there's a shooter on the
loose and protests continue

Stephanopoulos: have they
caught the killer?

Clay: no but we pray for the
recovery of the police officer

Stephanopoulos: do support
recalling this incompetent Mayor?

Clay: well they have city elections
soon so we'll see how that plays out

Stephanopoulos: what about the DOJ report

Clay: the whole city government
was extorting black people!

Stephanopoulos: should the 
police force be dismantled?

Clay: damn right it should!

Stephanopoulos: wow

Clay: you can't have a police force
dedicated to violating the law and
Constitution against people based on race!

Stephanopoulos: or just committing 
crimes in general

Clay: now you're getting it

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming

Clay: you're welcome

[ break ]

Scott Walker: Bush is an old 
failed name from the past!

Jeb Bush: Walker has no spine

Walker: Bush a poopyhead!

Bush: Walker is a weenie!

Stephanopoulos: Ana you love Jeb Bush

Navarro: the Democrats are doomed!

Carville: I love watching Republicans fight!

Van Susteren: Bush has to convince
people that he's not his brother the bad
President or his other brother the shady
savings and loan crook

Remnick: why do we keep nominating
people from the same family?

Navarro: Walker is a flip flopper!

Stephanopoulos: the Iran letter 
is backfiring and even Bibi is 
in trouble back home

Remnick: voters in Israel care about jobs

Carville: it's the economy stupid!

Remnick: the letter to Iran was
condescending and absurd and
comical and altogether fucked up

Van Susteren: that letter was horrific
but Obama shouldn't do an end
run against Congress

Stephanopoulos: there's much precedent
for Obama making a deal on his own though

Sustern: I don't care – we should
have new set of standards for Obama

Carville: Bibi done fucked up!

Stephanopoulos: it would seem so

Carville: he's like a catfish in a  
barn full of armadillos!

Stephanopoulos: I love how weird you are

Carville: it was really stupid!

Stephanopoulos: thanks everybody

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