Sunday, March 15, 2015

Meet The Press – March 15, 2015


Guests:
Bill Neely
Admiral Mike Mullen (Ret.)
Sen. Roger Wicker (R-MS)
Sen. Tim Kaine (D-VA)
Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC)
Barney Frank
Karen Finney – Fmr. Press 
Secretary for Hillary Clinton
Kevin Madden – Fmr. Romney Advisor
Andrea Mitchell
Matt Bai – Yahoo News


Todd: OMG forty-seven sent a letter
to the Ayatollah and now kind of regret it

Obama: I'm embarrassed for those idiots

Todd: is Clinton too big too fail?

Clinton: I used my personal e-mail
for government business because
why the hell not

Todd: good morning – the White House 
is hitting back with a letter of its own 
after 47 Senators sent a letter to the 
Ayatollah telling not to trust that 
Kenyan occupying the White House

Audience: shit's getting real

Todd: the White House warns not to
pass legislation to ruin a deal with Iran

Todd: even Republican think maybe
going behind the President's back
to send a letter to an enemy wasn't
the smartest move ever

Todd: but can anything stop
these evil maniacs?

[ break ]

Todd: Bill Iraqi troops are actually
making progress against ISIS

Neely: I know we're all amazed

Todd: could they do it without Iran's help?

Neely: no

Todd: wow

Neely: Iran is everywhere in Iraq!

Todd: amazing

Neely: Iran and Iraq fought a long war
then the U.S. smashed Iraq allowing
Iran to waltz right in

Todd: Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes

Neely: urban dictionary: Irany – when you
invade a country and your enemy occupies it

Todd: good one Bill

Neely: we fought Iraq and Iran won

Todd: incredible

Neely: it's Sunnis vs. Shiites;
it's Persian vs. Arab;
it's Mayweather vs. Pacquiao

Todd: I'm learning so much

Neely: if the U.S. beats ISIS but with
Iran's help what kind of victory is that?

Todd: it's not very manly to win with help

[ break ]

Todd: welcome Admiral Mullen

Mullen: good morning Charles

Todd: is it good or bad that
Iran is helping to kill ISIS?

Mullen: it's good because we 
have to defeat ISIS

Todd: okay then

Mullen: but Iran is still bad

Todd: since Iran is moving in –
should we have invaded Iraq again?

Mullen: well Iran would be in Iraq anyway

Todd: perhaps

Mullen: we have to defeat ISIS in Syria too

Todd: Lindsey Graham fears many things
spiders, snakes, the dark, clowns

Mullen: we all know that

Todd: but he fears Iran most of all
even more than ISIS

Mullen: so do I

Todd: do you really?

Mullen: there's an internal battle between
reformers and hard liners that we don't
understand well at all

Todd: you investigated Benghazi –
did you have all the information you
needed or do you want Clinton's e-mails too?

Mullen: no we have everything 
we needed Todd

Todd: thanks for coming

[ break ]

Todd: President Obama did 
an interview with Vice

Obama: I'm embarrassed for
the fools that sent that letter to Iran

Todd: that bad audio is Vice's fault 
– they suck

Audience: oooh catty

Todd: welcome Senator Wicker

Wicker: good morning Chuck

Todd: sending a letter warning the 
leader of Iran not to deal with the 
President is universally regarded 
as one the most bone-headed
moves in recent history – any regrets?

Wicker: not at all – why is everyone
talking about this letter and Bibi's
stunt address to Congress?

Todd: because they were
incredibly dumb and backfired

Wicker: Obama is negotiating 
with Iran which is evil!

Todd: strong words

Wicker: you can never make
an agreement with bad people

Todd: you seem smart

Wicker: Obama and Kerry are 
comfortable with Iran and 
they are bad people!

Todd: but our allies may lift 
sanctions and do business with
Iran regardless of what we do

Wicker: if that's true that's bad

Todd: White House Chief of Staff
Denis McDonough wrote a letter to
Bob Corker saying his legislation
would create divsions with our allies
and embolden Iran's hard liners

Kaine: I'm proud of this legislation

Todd: well good for you

Kaine: but Congress has shown
unacceptable contempt for the President

Todd: go on

Kaine: I'm in favor of diplomacy 
but Congress has to have a 
say in lifting sanctions

Todd: are you willing to wait for
the President to make a deal?

Kaine: there is no reason to wait!

Todd: all right

Kaine: this is bipartisan legislation

Todd: what if Obama goes to the U.N. first?

Kaine: that's fine but this is about
Congressional sanctions

Wicker: the White House is saying
they don't want legislation until after
they make a deal which bugs me

[ break ]

Todd: greetings panelists

Todd: it sounds like Tim Kaine is
willing to buck the White House

Mitchell: clearly the Iran letter went
too far but Kaine and Corker are
friends of the White House and Obama
had better find a way to placate them

Todd: good point

Mitchell: no one is talking
about Iran's missile technology

Todd: maybe they would if
Hillary sent an e-mail about it

Todd: Michael Gerson who was a
Bush official thinks this Iran letter
was incredibly stupid

Madden: no it was Civics 101

Todd: you've got to be kidding

Madden: the White House
needs to deal with Congress

Finney: these 47 Senators
bolstered the extremists in Iran

Todd: frankly Iran is bad

Bai: for 30 years negotiations
over nukes have been quite successful

Todd: but can we stop Iran?

Bai: we have to try

Mitchell: the problem is you don't
send a letter to the Ayatollah –
I mean come on

Todd: OMG the GOP is going after
Hillary Clinton's e-mails and Benghazi

Todd: Clinton is in the middle
of a media circus!

Todd: she was insular and lawyerly!

Todd: Democrats are wringing their
hands that the media are going
after the Clintons again!

Todd: even Jon Stewart went after Clinton!

Todd: some Democrats want a
contested primary to toughen her up

Jerry Brown: fuck that noise

[ break ]

Todd: welcome Tray

Gowdy: hi Todd

Todd: Clinton says she has 
turned over all her e-mails – 
do you think she's lying?

Gowdy: I wouldn't accuse anyone
of lying unless I had proof or felt it in my gut

Todd: okay

Gowdy: the burden of proof
is on her to prove she turned
over all e-mails

Todd: you want her to testify
twice more on Benghazi

Gowdy: right

Todd: is this hearing just to
go after Hillary Clinton?

Gowdy: oh heaven's no we're
going to have 50 witnesses!

Todd: I assume you want to
go after David Petraeus

Gowdy: yes but maybe he was
charged with giving away top
secrets to buy his silence

Todd: you never requested
Clinton's e-mails until now

Gowdy: we were trying to be nice

Todd: there have been five other
investigations of Benghazi –
what did they do wrong that
you need another one?

Gowdy: our Benghazi committee
is going to be the best Benghazi
committee ever

Todd: excellent

Gowdy: we have four murdered Americans!

Todd: will this take one or two years?

Gowdy: my hearing will sadly go into
2016 when Clinton is running for President

Todd: Matt you bravely wrote an article
criticizing Hillary Clinton – how do you
come by such courage and wisdom

Bai: doesn't Ed Snowden 
have all her e-mails?

Todd: har har har

Bai: Clinton is old and Jeb Bush
is very open and transparent

Todd: Matt Bai is right and
Clinton is overly defensive

Finney: Jeb Bush is hiding many e-mails!

Todd: but he handled it better

Finney: well what is the damn standard?

Todd: the standard is Bush is from
a good family and Hillary Clinton is
from a bunch of secretive hillbillies

Mitchell: I have delved very deeply
into this and Clinton's e-mails
were not captured

Finney: neither were Colin Powell's

Mitchell: who?

Todd: do we really need yet
another Benghazi hearing?

Madden: Hillary is definitely
hiding something

Finney: Andrea you know no other
Secretary of State turned over their e-mails

Mitchell: la la la I can't hear you

Todd: Today's fun fact - shockingly
rich people are more likely to be
white and educated

[ break ]

Todd: welcome Barney Frank

Frank: morning Chuck

Todd: people now loves gays and
hate Congress – it's a world gone mad!

Frank: we came out and people saw
gay people were just like everyone else

Todd: but more fun

Frank: my marriage was controversial
because other members of Congress
were mad they weren't invited!

Todd: why do people hate 
government so much?

Frank: after WWII America was preeminent
and working class white guys could make
a good living and all that's changed

Todd: in your book you bash
Republicans on policy but also
go after liberals on their bad tactics

Frank: the left loves emotional protests
and marches that don't do anything
while the NRA builds up a huge
and efficient lobbying organization

Todd: do you want a vigorous
primary against Hillary Clinton?

Frank: hell no – do you think
Mitt Romney was well-served
by the disastrous Republican
primaries in 2012?

Todd: good point

Frank: fuck that shit

Todd: Hillary's e-mails are a huge scandal!

Frank: I was around during Whitewater
and all the other fake scandals and
it was all bullshit Chuck

Todd: but she didn't handle
this e-mail scandal well

Frank: you mean the media
didn't handle it well

Todd: you can't expect us to
be fair – it's the Clintons!

Frank: of course

Todd: thanks for coming

[ break ]

Todd: Scott Walker declared
himself the front-runner!

Madden: that's a bit of
irrational exuberance

Todd: who would rather run
against – Jeb or Scott Walker?

Finney: probably Jeb because
Scott Walker represents change

Todd: last week on this show
Lindsay Graham surprised many
of us when he said he has never
sent an e-mail in his life

McCain: my staff won't let me
e-mail because I'm crazy

Todd: it's bipartisan – Orrin Hatch
and Chuck Schumer are luddites too

Todd: Bill Clinton has only sent
two e-mails in his entire life!

Mikulski: you bet I e-mail
I'm hip and I'm hot

Todd: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press


1 comment:

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