Sunday, August 30, 2009

Meet the Press - August 30, 2009

Meet The Press
August 30, 2009
Maria Shriver
Sen. John Kerry
Kathleen Kennedy Townshend
Bob Shrum
Doris Goodwin
Gregory: Maria did you enjoy the funeral?

Shriver: it was great to see the outpouring of affection for Uncle Teddy

Gregory: I knew he was a great legislator but I never knew he such a fun guy to be around

Shriver: yeah sorry he never invited you to Nantucket but Tim Russert ranked higher than you

Gregory: so sad for me

Shriver: Ted had been through a lot and people knew that he understood suffering and human weaknesses

Gregory: how is everyone doing?

Shriver: I’ve lost 2 relatives in 2 weeks how do you think I’m doing Fluffy?

Gregory: he was a force of nature

Shriver: we all thought he would live forever

Gregory: you lost you mother too

Shriver: yes but they lived a long and time and fought the good fight over many decades

Gregory: amazing

Shriver: They never gave up and we’ve lost sight of that in the country - they think Obama should solve all of the problems Bush created overnight

Gregory: what did Ted think of Obama

Shriver: he thought Obama would finally get a lot
of this shit done

Gregory: was this an awesome year for Teddy?

Shriver: yes except for the dying part it was pretty good

Gregory: that’s nice

Shriver: he got to see how much people loved him and that’s another lesson for all of us

Gregory: The Kennedys made it because of him

Shriver: he became the family rock and that’s pretty incredible when you think about it

Gregory: what did he think about all he accomplished

Shriver: he took the good and he took the bad and accepted them both as what he had

Gregory: those are the facts of life

Shriver: indeed

Gregory: how did his Italian heritage shape him?

Shriver: he was Irish

Gregory: whatever

Shriver: people loved him because the Kennedys didn’t want to be rich or famous

Gregory: truly admirable

Gregory: are the Kennedys finished?

Shriver: when you are a Kennedy you can
only live your life and have it end in its own
uniquely tragic way

Gregory: so is it the end of an era?

Shriver: it’s Schwarzenegger time!

Gregory: Was he the hardest working man
in Congress?

Kerry: he just like James Brown - he was sweaty
and a great dancer

Gregory: what did Ted teach you?

Kerry: he taught me that all politics is not
local but personal

Gregory: so how did he change you?

Kerry: he loosened me and taught me to have fun

Gregory: are you kidding?

Kerry: yes I used to be deadly serious and ponderous - not happy go lucky like I am now

Gregory: dear god

Kerry: speaking of fun - Ted often though he would be assassinated and suffered a massive amount of loss, the war, with the shootings, the murders, the accidental deaths, the funerals, the fatherless children….

Gregory: truly you are a barrel of laughs

Gregory: you are now the senior senator
from Massachusetts

Kerry: fucking finally!!

Gregory: what happened to bipartisanship?

Dodd: fuck that - what happened to civility?

Gregory: Ever since Bork conservatives were forced to say liberals hate America

Dodd: look we put 300 Republican amendments on the health care bill - what the fuck else do they want?

Gregory: Ban all black Presidents?

Dodd: Teddy went through so much goddam tragedy and his strength was a lesson for all people, not just politicians - for example I have to work with James Inhofe every day and yet I still get up in the morning

Gregory: who should succeed him?

Kerry: we need a 60th vote right now to enact health reform or risk betraying Teddy’s legacy

Gregory: that seems so shrill

Kerry: this was the people’s senator

Gregory: and what are you

Kerry: hey ketchup heirs need representation too

MTP: so were you nervous when you first appeared
on the Meet The Press

Ted Kennedy: hell yes - Jack quizzed me and
I freaked out

Gregory: you were the longest serving guest in history

Kennedy: damm right Greggers

MTP: Iraq war?

Kennedy: all lies and bullshit!!

Russert: do you regret never being President?

Kennedy: do you regret being a pompous ass?

Gregory: Doris where does Ted rank?

Goodwin: he’s the greatest legislator of our time and maybe the best Senator of all time

Gregory: how so?

Goodwin: he was a legislator, an orator, and fighter for a cause, and he did local politics as well
which is amazing

Gregory: Bob he was never President

Shrum: at first he regretted it but then Obama got elected and he was thrilled

Gregory: why

Shrum: he always wanted to see a non-citizen occupy the White House

Gregory: Ted got the last word with his letter to the Pope which I will read now

Shrum: now you see how smart Ted Kennedy was

Gregory: Ted wrote that he atoned for his sins and asked for universal health care

Townshend: the Catholic faith is a Church of Sinners

Gregory: excellent

Shrum: He treated ordinary people like they were heads of state - and that’s why people loved him

Goodwin: he absorbed the pain and his mistakes and became more generous and stronger

Gregory: Teddy Jr made me cry

Townshend: that story was very moving

Gregory: no I realized I will never be that eloquent

[ sniff ]


SFAW said...

What, no one this week heard that Greggers was a moron? Or is that out of respect for Teddy?

- said...

Apparently so! So Sad.

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