This Week with George Stephanolopous - September 6, 2009
Rep. Maxine Waters
Rep. Mike Pence
Stephanolopous: Bob Van Jones rang the resign chimes at midnight - is he the victim of a smear campaign?
Stephanolopous: so why quit?
Gibbs: he’s too fiery and black
Stephanolopous: but Obama is black
Gibbs: well that’s all the country can handle
Stephanolopous: Is Obama going to give us some health care details?
Gibbs: right he will draw more lines in the sand than Tom Hanks in Castaway
Stephanolopous: will he work his Jedi magic?
Gibbs: after that speech people will realize that these are not the health insurance reforms they are looking for
Stephanolopous: public option - yes or no?
Gibbs: look even if we enact it it will only an option for a small number of people - we won’t unfairly compete against the happy little insurance companies
Stephanolopous: then it sounds somewhat useless
Gibbs: the government will take the uninsurable off the insurers hands
Stephanolopous: ooh epic win
Gibbs: we’re close to reform and public option is a valuable idea
Stephanolopous: but he won’t veto it a plan
Gibbs: he might
Stephanolopous: but then Obama won’t get
any GOP votes
Gibbs: well then the GOP will be fucked in 2010
Stephanolopous: Senator you are incredibly old and not in office - please bash Obama for me
Dole: this is a nasty 1200 page law - there’s no pudding or Matlock!
Stephanolopous: so what’s the answer?
Dole: back in 1994 we used to say 5 bees for a dollar and I was wearing an onion on my belt that was the style-
Daschle: Bob makes a lot of sense - we have an opportunity to improve health care and provide Americans with a full public pudding option
Stephanolopous: How is preemptively conceding defeat working out for you?
Daschle: oh it’s going great
Stephanolopous: Maxine you are very radical - only 80% of the people support a public option
Waters: with all due respect to Senator Ancient McOldypants I’m actually in the motherfucking Congress
Stephanolopous: Pence you are trying desperately
to stop reform
Pence: not at all - it’s just that my people hate the idea of government running a health plan
Stephanolopous: but the government won’t take over the health care system
Pence: but if you offer business the chance to put their employees on a good plan of course the small business will take it
Stephanolopous: so how is that bad?
Pence: you have no health insurance if your employer can cancel it at any time!
Stephanolopous: but that could happen now!
Pence: yes but all the current options suck so bad - people are stuck with the plan they have- but if a good option is offered they will be doomed to a good government plan!
Stephanolopous: what’s you solution?
Pence: just let people shop around for health insurance like hamburgers or video games
Dashcle: so you oppose it because it would
Dole: no we also hate it because it would
Waters: oh well ok then
Dole: I think we will get a lot of Republicans voting for this bill
Stephanolopous: even with a public option?
Pence: look the whole world is spiraling out of control - we’ve got government taking over national defense, health care for old people, a black president-
Waters: what’s in your bill?
Pence: ending lawsuits against doctors
Stephanolopous: Grouchy - you want Petraeus
Dole: I dunno he reminds me of Ike - not well informed but he looks snappy in a uniform
Stephanolopous: good enough