Monday, November 05, 2007

60 Minutes - November 4, 2007 - Curveball

60 Minutes
November 4, 2007
Host: Bob Simon
Topic: Curveball

Bob Simon: this is “Curveball” doing the Electric Slide in 1993

[ cut to shot of Curveball doing
the white man dance]

Expert: he was the best guy we had to tell us invading iraq was a great idea

Simon: Curveball lied to teh germans in nuremberg about weapons for killing mass numbers of people and after all they are they experts

Expert: they loved Curveball he said saddam had balsa wood planes that accidentally killed iraqi workers

Simon: but there was a wall

Expert: that proved how wily the iraqis were - they built fake walls to make us think their Curveball defectors were fake

Simon: a fake ball?

expert: right

Expert: we asked him why would saddam let someone like Curveball defect?

Curveball: uhhhhhhhh......

Lady CIA expert: I said he doods he might be fake

Simon: what did they say

Expert: they said do you want the information or don’t you

Simon: did they call you a glorified secretary

Expert: i said how do you know that’s even him in the Hazmat suit?

Other Expert: he's like the sheep in the box in ‘The Little Prince’ he's the perfect source because you can't see him

Skeptic: of course

Tenet: it's teh Slam Dunk!!

Drumheller: the white house lied

Wilkerson: doods it was a dynamic presentation what could i say???

Wilkerson: i'm convinced Powell was convinced

Powell: Curveball knew it all you have to believe me!!! Look here are the drawings no of stuff no American has ever seen!!!

Weapons Inspectors: uhhh there's a wall doods

Simon: there was nothing there at all was there

UN: nope

Simon: well it's war then

Simon: he got bad grades in college

College Dean: he was on Double Secret Probation dood!

Simon: what did you tell him

Dean: drunk stupid and lying to convince the US to invade your county is no way to go through life son

Simon: sounds like a loser

Drumheller: dood just wanted a german green card

Simon: and now his life is ruined

Drumheller: oh no he's doing fine and he got his green card

Simon: well don't i feel foolish

Drumheller: don't we all

Simon: except for Curveball

Drumheller: yeah except for him

Simon: USA! US- aw forget it


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