Sunday, April 29, 2007

The Democratic Debate April 26, 2007

Democratic Debate, Thursday April 26, 2007


Brian Williams: Let’s talk about the Supreme Court

Biden: I fought to defeat that bearded weirdo Bork. And Alito. And that black guy, what's his name.

Obama: Thomas

Biden: Right. The clean one.

Kucinich: I want to be a healer. pre- natal care, post-natal care, and natal care. i will establish a department of healing.

Brian Williams: okaaay

Dodds: i'm very disappointed in the decision i made in voting for Roberts - i will be furrowing my brows a lot when I’m president.

Brian Williams: why are they black when you’re hair is white

Dodd: dood back off - just cause you’re hair is perfect

Williams: name someone alive, not named whizzer

Dodd: Bader Ginsburg rocks

Williams: Hillary Virginia Tech did we leave anyone behind?

Hillary: dood i was at Columbine and we tried to keep guns out of the hands of crazy people like Charlton Heston

Richardson: The 2nd amendment - - it is Precioussssssss

Williams: Show of hands, how many of you have shot someone?

one, two.. three...ok...

Biden: it was a guy at a 7-11..... My wife knows a lot of crazy people after all she married me

Edwards: i would raise taxes on teh mentally ill and gun owners. Speaking of guns and taxes let me talk about my health care plan

Obama: Speaking of health care I would form a big pool and you could dive in if you wanted - only if you’re buoyant

Hillary: you all have good ideas but doods i have been there and oh everyone liked may plan at first and i got fucking killed. Not ready to endorse some new crazy system lets cut costs

Richardson: I’m running as a Republican and gun nut -- my health plan is for every American to share a kidney with someone else -- i mean you only need one right -- am i right people??

Williams: race, good or bad?

Biden: i like black people

Obama: Confederate flag should be in a museum next to archie bunker’s chair

Moderator: heh, i liked that Lionel

Paula Abdul: what’s your biggest mistake ever?

Gravel: Let me rehash Ronald Reagan's stoopid line - there goes my campaign

Hillary: where do i start -- probably killing vince foster to cover up my lesbiansism

Obama: chickening out on terry schiavo

Biden: underestimating Bush stoopidity and evilness (good answer!)

Edwards & Dodd: IRAQ

Richardson: I killed a man in reno

Moderator: To watch him die?

Bill: No - he voted against my minimum wage bill

Q: How do you defeat India and China

Biden: pepto bismol

Public question: medical insurance is too expensive

Kucinich: i live a tiny bachelor pad with my cat so i hear you

Brian Williams: First goal of Day One?

Bill: first Iraq, then Apollo, then i would have sex with my wife in teh Oval Office, baby

Williams: Name three countries not named ‘iraq’ -- be careful Bush got tripped up here in 2000

Obama: Italy for its wine and art, Afghanistan for it's Osama-ness and China for their kick ass take-out

Williams: WRONG! You forgot Israel - i told you this one was hard

Obama: Israel blah blah blah

Willaims: that’s better

Biden: Russia cause they are run by a loony despot wannabe with access to nukes

Williams: well, so is the USA

Gravel: wait, did you say "enemies" cause you're changing the rules you fucking dittohead

Edwards: primary school education should be available in Africa

Williams: Governor Richardson you lost four nominations for the Nobel Prize you're like the Susan Lucci of Peace

Richardson: yeah but dood she finally won

Hillary: oh fuck Rudy - i'm from New York his cheap fearmongering won't work in a city where Bush is less popular that a sewer rat

Williams: Question, why do I always say Democrats won't protect America

Dodd: ‘cause you're too busy listening to Rush Limbaugh to take your head out of your ass

Williams: could be - Dennis K why do you hate America?

Williams: Lets play "24" - pretend that 10 american cities were bombed by balsa wood drones which country would you invade?

Obama: i would provide first-aid to the victims stoopid -- how could i know how to react without more information

Edwards: i would find out which of Bush's mistakes were responsible

Hillary: i was in NYC on 9/11 but i wasn't wandering around looking for the remains of my bunker - and no Brian, unlike your buddy Rush Limbaugh i wouldn't overreact

Brian: impeach yes or no?

Dennis: yes! Bush lied to take us to war -- but we'll with something obvious, dick cheney and work our way up to Chimpy

Williams: ok ok you're entertaining but i grow tired of you now

Dodd: i have 9 month old baby but i already suspect she's a lesbian she wears a lot of flannel

Biden: Don't be alarmed - i'm smiling it just looks like i'm passing a kidney stone

Williams: jeebus, if you're ever president i will move to Cuba

Richardson: If america were attacked i would get Keifer Sutherland on teh phone and surgically strike Luxembourg

Brian: cuba libre or no?

Richardson: watch me completely dodge this question

Willaims: Gravel, is nuclear teh answer to global warming?

Gravel: no when i was young we didn't need nukes we wore an onion on our belts and we'd say give me five bees for a dollar

Obama: i planted 3,000 trees

Williams: i meant light bulbs - jeez take a hint

Obama: i would bomb a country - maybe Ohio

Kucinich: hey some people like Ohio

Obama: sure they do

Williams: do you love Jesus

Edwards: eh, I guess so

Brain: Walmart good or evil - yes or no -- heh trick question cause you were on the board of directors

Hillary: fuck off

Williams: why do you guys suck so much?

Biden: i like Hillary -- and Gravel and Dennis go away with your happy talk -- there's real life -- dammit life sucks - you work hard, you get accused of plagiarism, you lose your your hair, your run for president and then you die.


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