Sunday, April 01, 2007

Meet The Press - April 1, 2007

Timmeh: Alberto apparently a really big liar what's up with that

Kylie: yeah of course he was in those discussions

Leahy: back in Vermont would call this guy Alberto Gonzalez un menteur pathologique vermont is french for green mountain men you know

Russert: no shit

Leahy: oui c'est vrai

Timmeh: Hey Hatch this looks bad right

Orrin: Excuse me i these lies are catching in my thoat

Tim: here have a truth-lozenge

Hatch: his lies are of a general nature and not specific

Timmy: Sen. Mark Pryor lied to me and you and the whole world

Hatch: oh no no no - Griffin was highly qualified

[Leahy's head explodes]

Timmeh: Senator your head just exploded and i'm wearing a new suit

Leahy: sorry about that

Tim: its ok

Leahy: the mountains of e-mails and documents and statements all prove they lied and everyone but the moron from Utah knows it

[Hatch's head explodes]

Russert: shit not again

Leahy: Rove and Miers were giving the orders and Abu followed whoever the next president is they shouldn't be a fascist

Timmster: They lied about Karl Rove pushing for Griffin - they're blaming some new employee for the whole thing you buy that?

Hatch: ummmmmm

Timmy: wait there's more - Bush e-mails say he doesn't want to be backed into a corner with all their lies

Orrin: Ok first of all in their defense anyone with brains would say that this was bad

Timmy: your brains exploded all over my studio Senator

Orrin: yeah sorry

Leahy: my brain, my brain

Orrin: let me finish - there's no non-shredded evidence proving some specific straw evidence i just made up

Timmy: what about all the real evidence

Orrin: immigrant smuggling, porn, obscenity...

Timmy: are those your hobbies

Orrin: its a tempest in a teacup in a coffee cup

Leahy: sorry to get so angry so earlier in the morning

Timmy: we pretape saturday evening

Hatch: ha ha

Leahy: Duke Cunningham dood

Hatch: Not on shred of evidence - look i never shut up

Timmy: pleasure of the president

Hatch: you're good goddamm right by the power of moroni its a sacred right

Leahy: oh did i mention the tobacco case there's even more corruption

Hatch: This is crazy! What people don't realize is Bill Clinton was my bitch

Hatch: Look if they were really corrupt they would have had all US Attorneys killed ergo there is nothing to see here

Timmer: The National Review thinks Abu is an idiot or a liar or frankly both

Hatch: we all know that

Timmy: so Alberto yes or no

Hatch: um uh hmmm hey there's crime in america anyway there's alot of employees at the DOJ there and I'm not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth hispanics and america!!!