September 2, 2012
Guests:
Mayor Rahm Emmanuel (D-Chicago)
Newt Gingrich
Tom Brokaw
Doris Goodwin
Carly Fiorina
Tom Friedman
***************************
Gregory: good morning Rahm
Emmanuel: you too David
Gregory: with our bad economy isn’t
Mitt Romney the lesser of two evils?
Emmanuel: no because he would return
us to the policies that wrecked America
in the first place
Gregory: perhaps
Emmanuel: in Romney’s speech there
was no memorable lines or good ideas
Gregory: but that doesn’t mean
people should vote for Obama
Emmanuel: we’re adding jobs, fixing
the banking system and building
houses again
Gregory: Invisible Obama told Eastwood
to tell Romney to go screw himself
Emmanuel: we are only talking about
this old actor because Romney’s speech
was devoid of anything worth talking about
Gregory: yes but-
Emmanuel: shut up - I’m talking here Fluffy
Gregory: ok but you only want to talk
about Mitt Romney instead of how
terrible Romney thinks Obama is
Emmanuel: no shit stupid
Gregory: Mitt says he voted for Obama
and he’s very disappointed with that his
stocks have only doubled and paid 13% in taxes
Emmanuel: Romney wanted to cut taxes
for the rich, cut student loans, screw
underwater homeowners, and let
Detroit go bankrupt
Gregory: so you say but-
Emmanuel: zip it David - Romney only
cares about rich people
Gregory: a lot of people hate Obama
Emmanuel: hey Fluffy General Motors
is alive and Osama bin Laden is dead
Gregory: it’s not a binary choice
between Obama and Romney
Emmanuel: yes it is you dimwit
[ punches Gregory in the face ]
Gregory: stop hitting me
Emmanuel: we were shedding jobs when
Obama was sworn in and we’ve added
millions of jobs
Gregory: Newt Gingrich says Obama
waived the welfare work rules
Emmanuel: Republican Governors asked
for more flexibility and now those fuckers
are lying about it
Gregory: I’ve heard that
Emmanuel: State Senator Obama
reformed welfare in Illinois
Gregory: what is the plan for the
Democratic convention?
Emmanuel: four words: middle class
Gregory: what are the other two?
Emmanuel: fuck you
Gregory: there’s a wave of violence in Chicago
Emmanuel: shootings are down in
the last few hours
Gregory: ok
Emmanuel: normal people shouldn’t
worry since it’s all gang-on-gang violence
Gregory: but what’s the solution?
Emmanuel: If I have to I will start
shooting people myself
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: Newt what happened
at the Convention
Gingrich: Republicans will make
lazy people work
Brokaw: Even the Wall Street Journal
thought Romney blew it
Gregory: uh huh
Brokaw: if I may quote Cuba Gooding junior
in Jerry Maguire ‘you complete me’
Fiorina: the Wall Street Journal is
a commie rag
Gregory: amazing
Fiorina: Romney would create 1 million
jobs by building a giant pipeline to transport
Canadian oil across America to sell around the world
Friedman: Romney was very specific
- but his math doesn’t add up
Gregory: Tom what do the American
people really want?
Friedman: to suffer
Gregory: Is Romney likable?
Goodwin: they humanized Romney but
people don’t think Mitt can relate to their
problems - Lincoln was a depressive weirdo
but most people in the 19th century were like that
Gregory: Clint Eastwood yelled at
an empty chair
Brokaw: screaming scatalogical
obscenities about the President was
a little bit of a problem
Gingrich: it was a disaster - if I’d
been the nominee this would never
have happened
Gregory: how would you have done it
Gingrich: I would have closed the show
with 100 poor kids happily sweeping the
floor like in “Newsies”
Gregory: what happened to Obama’s
hope and change?
Friedman: Obama never made the case
to Americans by bringing out Warren Buffet
to talk to the people about how awesome
it is to be rich
Gregory: Newt on inauguration night you
pledged to oppose everything Obama did
Gingrich: Obama got everything he wanted!
Fiorina: Newt will you marry me
Gingrich: give me six months Carly
Fiorina: Obama controlled the Congress
for two years and he failed to prevent
the Tea Party from wrecking our credit rating
Brokaw: I noticed that Paul Ryan lied
shamelessly in his speech
Fiorina: you lie Tom!
Friedman: No GOP official talked about
the surplus they turned into a deficit,
unpaid-for wars, drug benefits, and
endless tax cuts
Goodwin: Neil Armstrong went to the
moon with government money -
Obama should aggressively defend
government spending
Gingrich: I’m kind of a big deal
Gregory: well all know that Newt
Gingrich: Mika Brezinski and Joe Scarborough humiliated themselves at my ridiculously
named Newt Gingrich University
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: America is making millions
drilling in North Dakota!
Gregory: so Obama hasn’t stopped
drilling after all?
Gingrich: yes but Mitt Romney would drill
in Cleveland, Hawaii and the National Mall
Fiorina: imagine oil derricks in front of the
Lincoln Memorial - what a beautiful
sight that would be
Goodwin: [ palmface ]
Gregory: the GOP is trying to address
the gender gap
Todd: Obama needs a big gap among
women - and he’s got it
Gregory: women vote - who knew?
Todd: Virginia is for Lovers Who
Love Ultrasounds
Fiorina: I was very impressed and
jealous of the women stars at the
Republican convention
Gregory: I can see that
Fiorina: Democrats belittle women by
assuming they care about their individual rights
Gregory: nice try Carly
Goodwin: Eleanor Roosevelt never
even mentioned FDR’s polio at her
convention speech
Gingrich: I suspect he was never
handicapped - he was probably just
another lazy Democrat
Gregory: Ann Romney told us to vote
for her selfless husband dammit
Brokaw: This is the Century of Women
Goodwin: one out 100 isn’t bad
Brokaw: the GOP loves mothers but
do they really respect women?
Fiorina: every rational person condemned
Todd Akin’s despicable remarks about
rape and called on him to drop out
Gingrich: not me
Fiorina: oh no here we go
Gingrich: Todd Akin sort-of apologized
but Obama wants to murder children!
Friedman: Fluffy I would like to thank you
for making the rest of us normal by
inviting this crazy person
Gregory: My pleasure Mustache man
Gingrich: Joe Biden is a racist who
wants to put black people in chains
Gregory: Romney also used the
chains metaphor
Gingrich: yes but Romney never talks to
black people so he can’t be a racist
Gregory: getting back to Akin - you
don’t think he should drop out
of the race?
Gingrich: of course not - Akin won
the primary therefore he’s just
like Marco Rubio!
Brokaw: whoa - you agree with Todd Akin?
Gingrich: I am just saying that Democrats
murder babies
Fiorina: Stop! Stop it! Stop talking!
Women don’t care about abortion!
Gingrich: the media are biased - they
only talk about how I called black people
lazy instead of reporting on the Democrats
plan to let the U.N. enslave Americans
and put them to work in abortion factories!
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
*******************************************
Bonus!
Sunday Talk Shows: The Most Ridiculous Moment
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/virtuallyspeaking/2012/09/03/culture-of-truth-newt
Sunday, September 02, 2012
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - September 2, 2012
Guests:
David Plouffe - Obama Campaign
Kerry Healy (R-MA)
George Will
Donna Brazile
Bill Burton (D)
Matthew Dowd (R)
*******************************
Stephanopoulos: good morning David
Plouffe: good morning George
Stephanopoulos: are Americans better
off than they were four years ago?
Plouffe: we’re recovering from a
mini Depression
Stephanopoulos: that doesn’t sound good
Plouffe: Mitt Romney is promising nothing
but tax cut fairy dust
Stephanopoulos: a lot of people
are unemployed
Plouffe: Romney will enact policies
that caused the recession in the first place
Stephanopoulos: so we’re not better off?
Plouffe: Obama is investing in batteries!
Stephanopoulos: ironic that he’s
running against an android
Plouffe: ha
Stephanopoulos: Pluffy should Obama
apologize to America
Plouffe: for what Stephy - health care
or ending the wars?
Stephanopoulos: yes those things
Plouffe: the GOP is only offering tired
platitudes like tricke-down economics
Stephanopoulos: Paul Ryan says he’s
going to save Medicare not raid it
Plouffe: he raided it!
Stephanopoulos: yes well know about that
Plouffe: Paul Ryan is sounding the
Second Coming of Claude Pepper
Stephanopoulos: Verily he will
Return Riding a White Golf Cart
Plouffe: Obama cut waste and Paul Ryan
would bankrupt Medicare
Stephanopoulos: Romney said under
Obama lazy people would get free money
Plouffe: it is interesting that Romney
can only win by lying and then
lying some more
Stephanopoulos: is it a racial dog whistle
Plouffe: all I know is every time that ad
runs on my tv my cocker spaniel hides
under the bed
Stephanopoulos: ha
Plouffe: In his acceptance speech Romney
never mentioned our troops or
Afghanistan - does Romney even care?
Stephanopoulos: what about Clint Eastwood
Plouffe: that was weird and hilarious
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: how did the GOP
convention go?
Will: undecided voters learned Republicans
want to cut taxes which I think we already knew
Brazile: I suspect a number of people
were very confused - and that was
before Clint Eastwood channeled
Daryl Hannah in Legal Eagles
Healy: we learned that Mitt Romney is
secretly a human being
Stephanopoulos: why not have testimonials
From people who like Romney instead
of Clint Eastwood doing a crazy-ass
version of Bob Newhart?
Healy: well I hope people go online
and look up examples of Mitt acting normal
Dowd: no one cares about a candidate’s
personal anyway
Stephanopoulos: are we better of than
we were four years ago?
Burton: we’ve created 4 million jobs
Stephanopoulos: but we lost 6 million
Burton: we heard Mitt loved his
family but what is he’s going to do
for other families?
Healy: he was very specific - he’s going
to cut taxes again, repeal Obamacare
and drill for oil off Florida
Will: don’t be afraid - vote for Romney
Brazile: no be afraid - be very afraid
Dowd: the real question is will the
country be better off four years from now?
Burton: in 2008 Obama said he was going
to deliver health care, end the wars,
fix the economy and rebuild America and he did!
Stephanopoulos: did he?
Burton: oh yeah!
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming everyone
*****************************************
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Meet The Press - August 26, 2012
Guests:
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Gov. Jan Brewer (R-AZ)
Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (Chair DNC)
Chuck Todd
Mike Murphy
*********************
Gregory: OMG the Storm of the Century
is headed right for the Republican Convention
Reporter: The Cone of Weather Silence
is going to smash Tampa
Gregory: incredible
Reporter: here you can see Isaac is
going to soak Florida with margaritas
and Gopher will overwhelm them with
his boyish charm
Gregory: Senator McCain God also
sent a hurricane to your convention in 2008
McCain: believe me I know - but on
the upside fewer people will see
Republicans speaking
on their television
Gregory: does it look bad to have a
big party during a storm
McCain: it would but trust me this is
not exactly a fun time
Gregory: Todd Akin is a little nuts but
he’s not getting out of the race
McCain: we’re gonna take this dumb fucker out!
Gregory: ha I love it
McCain: incredibly Romney is almost
tied with Barack Obama even will all
the stupid stuff Republicans keep saying
Gregory: Is Mitt Romney trying to reach
out to racists in his party with
his birther statements
McCain: no one has a sense of humor anymore
- Obama is black and may not be eligible to
be President - ha ha ha
Gregory: Romney is not popular among
the human demographic
McCain: poor poor Mitt Romney has
been abused by Obama’s
big swinging spending
Gregory: so how does Mitt Romney win?
McCain: we have to tell young women to
forget about rights to their body and
blame Obama is they don’t have a job
Gregory: good luck with that
[ break ]
Gregory: Jeb Bush you guaranteed
a Romney victory
Bush: indeed he will win as long we don’t
talk about anything that isn’t good
for Mitt Romney
Gregory: abortion has become a big issue
Bush: abortion - what’s that??
Gregory: Todd Akin refused to leave even
after the GOP tried to have him killed
Bush: pay no attention to the zygote
in the corner
Gregory: does this hurt the image
of the party?
Bush: people only care about the debt
and unemployment which Obama
caused all by himself
Gregory: Mitt Romney is less popular
than he was six months ago
Bush: that’s because Barack Obama
is unspeakably mean
Gregory: what will you talk about when
you give your speech?
Bush: I will be setting myself up to
run in 2016 by talking about education
which everyone loves
Gregory: how exciting
Bush: Obama keeps dividing America by
saying people didn’t build things and
instead saying it’s all communal
Gregory: how sad he keeps dividing
people by talking how we are all part of
a larger community
Bush: it’s terrible
Gregory: Mitt Romney has 0% of the
African-American vote
Bush: but Romney is popular among white men!
Gregory: oh believe me I know
Gregory: will Florida’s vote-counting
incompetence ruin another Presidential election?
Bush: probably
Gregory: what’s the secret to winning in Florida?
Bush: drill for oil and let immigrants
stay if the get a master’s degree
Gregory: what about a bachelor’s
Bush: no way - I’ve seen the partying
at the University of Florida - those kids
aren’t learning anything
Gregory: what else?
Bush: cut Social Security!
Gregory: would you consider raising
taxes to tackle the debt
Bush: no that would be foolhardy
Gregory: but you say we need to find
common ground to solve big problems
Bush: right - what I meant was liberals
agreeing to whatever Republicans want to do
Gregory: of course
Bush: for example we could
compromise on cutting social security
Gregory: what else
Bush: we could all agree to cut the debt
by cutting taxes and regulations
Gregory: I like what I’m hearing
Bush: the reason the economy is weak
is because of liberal politicians like
that idiot George W. Bush
Gregory: how do we reform Medicare?
Bush: we must fight back against
demagogues and also attack Obama
for cutting Medicare
Gregory: so clever
Bush: the GOP is very popular among
old people because we promise not
give them the wonderful choice to
have a voucher program
Gregory: should we crack down
on illegal immigrants?
Bush: Obama has reduced immigration to zero
Gregory: that’s news to me
Gregory: meanwhile the GOP is
losing Hispanic voters
Bush: that’s because many Republicans are idiots
Gregory: would you like to be President?
Bush: I never think about it except during
Thanksgiving when Mom makes me sit
at the little kids table with all the other
losers who have never lived in the White House
Gregory: Obama blames the economy
on your brother
Bush: it’s very unbecoming
Gregory: so very rude of him
Bush: he should offer fresh solutions like a
jobs bill or invading a country
Gregory: what is the Bush family legacy?
Bush: at the Bush family we don’t
talk about the L word
Gregory: oh you should - that’s a great tv show
Bush: my father and brother may have
been terrible Presidents but I will learn
from their mistakes
Gregory: how does it make you feel knowing
they have ruined the Bush family name
for generations to come
Bush: [ sobs ]
I was the smart one! me! it’s not fair!
Gregory: there there Jeb
Bush: you can’t keep us down!
The Bush will rise again!
Gregory: thanks for coming
Bush: thank you Fluffy
[ break ]
Gregory: The Republicans have arrived
in Florida and Tampa is a disaster area
and also a storm is coming
Todd: the show must go on!
Gregory: this is a really big opportunity for
Romney to convince people he is human
Murphy: this is his etch-a-sketch moment!
Gregory: our polls show that 35% don’t
like Mitt Romney and 22% believe he is an android
Brewer: we must introduce Mitt to the people
Gregory: isn’t it a little late for that Jan
Brewer: people are too busy looking for a
job to figure out who Mitt Romney is
Gregory: Team Obama tore Romney
down with negative ads
Wasserman-Schultz: the GOP destroyed
America four years ago remember
Gregory: Bill Clinton won the election
at the convention in 1992 with an amazing
speech where he talked about hope and
didn’t have sex
Todd: that was unusual - there will be
no bump this year because $500 million
has already been spent
Gregory: what don’t people know
about Mitt Romney
Murphy: Romney never murdered anyone!
Gregory: well that’s something
Murphy: Democrats have thrown in the
towel on defending Obama - the whole election
is about whether Mitt Romney and the
GOP are acceptable
Gregory: meanwhile the GOP is reaching out
to people on abortion and immigration
Brewer: the Democrats are waging a class
warfare war on rich women
Gregory: um ok
Brewer: in Arizona we believe in small
government stopping people and
demanding their citizenship papers
Wasserman-Schlutz: this is a metaphorical
window in their soul of the GOP - and a
real window into the hard drive of Mitt Romney
Gregory: the GOP is alienating Hispanic voters
Murphy: I never read the GOP platform but
I did read the Democratic platform and
they didn’t close Gitmo like they promised
Todd: the Democrats have turned this
into values election
Murphy: Obama wants to make this election
about trivial issue like whether Mitt Romney
will turn America over to our new
Robot-Machine Overlords
Gregory: will he do that?
Murphy: the American people don’t care -
they only want to know if they will have a
good job when the Internet Devices become
self-aware and enslave us all
Gregory: no one fluffs like me
Murphy: we all know that
Gregory: Todd Akin is crazy and seems
to be hurting the GOP
Murphy: Mitt Romney will give every fetus a job!
Gregory: this race is dead even!
Todd: actually Obama has a huge advantage
in the electoral college - Romney must win
Ohio or he’s screwed
Murphy: Romney must now reach
out to independents
Todd: well he’s losing Republican women
Brewer: the GOP loves women and
all the women issues
Gregory: I see
Brewer: women want the Republican
economy back!
Gregory: Romney leads by 6% on the
issue of changing Washington
Wasserman: well duh he’s not the incumbent
Greg: how do you answer the charge
that Obama is losing
Wasserman-Schultz: he’s not
Gregory: I think Americans are hungry
for a Man of Action
Murphy: damn right - Ryan is a workout fiend
Todd: Ryan is a Congressman and
people hate Congress
Murphy: dammit
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
***************************************
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Gov. Jan Brewer (R-AZ)
Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (Chair DNC)
Chuck Todd
Mike Murphy
*********************
Gregory: OMG the Storm of the Century
is headed right for the Republican Convention
Reporter: The Cone of Weather Silence
is going to smash Tampa
Gregory: incredible
Reporter: here you can see Isaac is
going to soak Florida with margaritas
and Gopher will overwhelm them with
his boyish charm
Gregory: Senator McCain God also
sent a hurricane to your convention in 2008
McCain: believe me I know - but on
the upside fewer people will see
Republicans speaking
on their television
Gregory: does it look bad to have a
big party during a storm
McCain: it would but trust me this is
not exactly a fun time
Gregory: Todd Akin is a little nuts but
he’s not getting out of the race
McCain: we’re gonna take this dumb fucker out!
Gregory: ha I love it
McCain: incredibly Romney is almost
tied with Barack Obama even will all
the stupid stuff Republicans keep saying
Gregory: Is Mitt Romney trying to reach
out to racists in his party with
his birther statements
McCain: no one has a sense of humor anymore
- Obama is black and may not be eligible to
be President - ha ha ha
Gregory: Romney is not popular among
the human demographic
McCain: poor poor Mitt Romney has
been abused by Obama’s
big swinging spending
Gregory: so how does Mitt Romney win?
McCain: we have to tell young women to
forget about rights to their body and
blame Obama is they don’t have a job
Gregory: good luck with that
[ break ]
Gregory: Jeb Bush you guaranteed
a Romney victory
Bush: indeed he will win as long we don’t
talk about anything that isn’t good
for Mitt Romney
Gregory: abortion has become a big issue
Bush: abortion - what’s that??
Gregory: Todd Akin refused to leave even
after the GOP tried to have him killed
Bush: pay no attention to the zygote
in the corner
Gregory: does this hurt the image
of the party?
Bush: people only care about the debt
and unemployment which Obama
caused all by himself
Gregory: Mitt Romney is less popular
than he was six months ago
Bush: that’s because Barack Obama
is unspeakably mean
Gregory: what will you talk about when
you give your speech?
Bush: I will be setting myself up to
run in 2016 by talking about education
which everyone loves
Gregory: how exciting
Bush: Obama keeps dividing America by
saying people didn’t build things and
instead saying it’s all communal
Gregory: how sad he keeps dividing
people by talking how we are all part of
a larger community
Bush: it’s terrible
Gregory: Mitt Romney has 0% of the
African-American vote
Bush: but Romney is popular among white men!
Gregory: oh believe me I know
Gregory: will Florida’s vote-counting
incompetence ruin another Presidential election?
Bush: probably
Gregory: what’s the secret to winning in Florida?
Bush: drill for oil and let immigrants
stay if the get a master’s degree
Gregory: what about a bachelor’s
Bush: no way - I’ve seen the partying
at the University of Florida - those kids
aren’t learning anything
Gregory: what else?
Bush: cut Social Security!
Gregory: would you consider raising
taxes to tackle the debt
Bush: no that would be foolhardy
Gregory: but you say we need to find
common ground to solve big problems
Bush: right - what I meant was liberals
agreeing to whatever Republicans want to do
Gregory: of course
Bush: for example we could
compromise on cutting social security
Gregory: what else
Bush: we could all agree to cut the debt
by cutting taxes and regulations
Gregory: I like what I’m hearing
Bush: the reason the economy is weak
is because of liberal politicians like
that idiot George W. Bush
Gregory: how do we reform Medicare?
Bush: we must fight back against
demagogues and also attack Obama
for cutting Medicare
Gregory: so clever
Bush: the GOP is very popular among
old people because we promise not
give them the wonderful choice to
have a voucher program
Gregory: should we crack down
on illegal immigrants?
Bush: Obama has reduced immigration to zero
Gregory: that’s news to me
Gregory: meanwhile the GOP is
losing Hispanic voters
Bush: that’s because many Republicans are idiots
Gregory: would you like to be President?
Bush: I never think about it except during
Thanksgiving when Mom makes me sit
at the little kids table with all the other
losers who have never lived in the White House
Gregory: Obama blames the economy
on your brother
Bush: it’s very unbecoming
Gregory: so very rude of him
Bush: he should offer fresh solutions like a
jobs bill or invading a country
Gregory: what is the Bush family legacy?
Bush: at the Bush family we don’t
talk about the L word
Gregory: oh you should - that’s a great tv show
Bush: my father and brother may have
been terrible Presidents but I will learn
from their mistakes
Gregory: how does it make you feel knowing
they have ruined the Bush family name
for generations to come
Bush: [ sobs ]
I was the smart one! me! it’s not fair!
Gregory: there there Jeb
Bush: you can’t keep us down!
The Bush will rise again!
Gregory: thanks for coming
Bush: thank you Fluffy
[ break ]
Gregory: The Republicans have arrived
in Florida and Tampa is a disaster area
and also a storm is coming
Todd: the show must go on!
Gregory: this is a really big opportunity for
Romney to convince people he is human
Murphy: this is his etch-a-sketch moment!
Gregory: our polls show that 35% don’t
like Mitt Romney and 22% believe he is an android
Brewer: we must introduce Mitt to the people
Gregory: isn’t it a little late for that Jan
Brewer: people are too busy looking for a
job to figure out who Mitt Romney is
Gregory: Team Obama tore Romney
down with negative ads
Wasserman-Schultz: the GOP destroyed
America four years ago remember
Gregory: Bill Clinton won the election
at the convention in 1992 with an amazing
speech where he talked about hope and
didn’t have sex
Todd: that was unusual - there will be
no bump this year because $500 million
has already been spent
Gregory: what don’t people know
about Mitt Romney
Murphy: Romney never murdered anyone!
Gregory: well that’s something
Murphy: Democrats have thrown in the
towel on defending Obama - the whole election
is about whether Mitt Romney and the
GOP are acceptable
Gregory: meanwhile the GOP is reaching out
to people on abortion and immigration
Brewer: the Democrats are waging a class
warfare war on rich women
Gregory: um ok
Brewer: in Arizona we believe in small
government stopping people and
demanding their citizenship papers
Wasserman-Schlutz: this is a metaphorical
window in their soul of the GOP - and a
real window into the hard drive of Mitt Romney
Gregory: the GOP is alienating Hispanic voters
Murphy: I never read the GOP platform but
I did read the Democratic platform and
they didn’t close Gitmo like they promised
Todd: the Democrats have turned this
into values election
Murphy: Obama wants to make this election
about trivial issue like whether Mitt Romney
will turn America over to our new
Robot-Machine Overlords
Gregory: will he do that?
Murphy: the American people don’t care -
they only want to know if they will have a
good job when the Internet Devices become
self-aware and enslave us all
Gregory: no one fluffs like me
Murphy: we all know that
Gregory: Todd Akin is crazy and seems
to be hurting the GOP
Murphy: Mitt Romney will give every fetus a job!
Gregory: this race is dead even!
Todd: actually Obama has a huge advantage
in the electoral college - Romney must win
Ohio or he’s screwed
Murphy: Romney must now reach
out to independents
Todd: well he’s losing Republican women
Brewer: the GOP loves women and
all the women issues
Gregory: I see
Brewer: women want the Republican
economy back!
Gregory: Romney leads by 6% on the
issue of changing Washington
Wasserman: well duh he’s not the incumbent
Greg: how do you answer the charge
that Obama is losing
Wasserman-Schultz: he’s not
Gregory: I think Americans are hungry
for a Man of Action
Murphy: damn right - Ryan is a workout fiend
Todd: Ryan is a Congressman and
people hate Congress
Murphy: dammit
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
***************************************
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - August 26, 2012
Guests:
Jonathan Karl
Gov. Bob McDonnell (R-VA)
Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa (D-Los Angeles)
Rep. Donna Edwards
Greta Van Susteren
George Will
Mary Matalin
*******************************
Stephanopoulos: OMG God sent a hurricane
to the GOP convention
Karl: Republicans expect torrential winds,
rain and a little Biblical flood
Stephanopoulos: what is their disaster plan
Karl: they’ve issued everyone one red umbrella
Stephanopoulos: will this affect the convention?
Karl: yes but they are used to it since the
Lord sent another hurricane four years ago
Stephanopoulos: the Almighty is persistent
McDonnell: The Party of Abraham defeats Isaac!
Stephanopoulos: did God sent a storm
because he hates you
McDonnell: no this weather only proves we
are better than Democrats because it
will only take us 3 days to nominate a guy
Stephanopoulos: former GOP Florida Governor
Charlie Crist says the GOP has gone
completely insane
McDonnell: Obama downgraded
America’s credit rating
Stephanopoulos: you want to amend the
U.S. Constitution to protect zygotes
McDonnell: you can’t pay attention to the
Party platform - those are just our fundamental
beliefs that we don’t care about
Stephanopoulos: I’m confused - are you in
favor of the Constitutional amendment or not
McDonnell: abortion is up to the states and Congress
Stephanopoulos: not if you amend
the Constitution genius
McDonnell: also the Supreme Court has spoken
on this issue so let’s drop and also amend the
Constitution or not whatever
Villargiosa: an adamant policy of no exceptions
for rape or incest is extreme
Stephanopoulos: but you just heard deny
McDonnell that is the GOP policy although
it’s in the platform
Villargiosa: yes I heard that white man spin wildly
Stephanopoulos: the economy is still bad
3 1/2 into the Obama Presidency
Villaraigosa: Obama has an awesome jobs plan
and the GOP rejected it
Stephanopoulos: what else
Villaraigosa: we need to raise taxes on rich people pronto
McDonnell: Obama is good family man with
a nice wife and adorable kids but he
increased the debt and doubled gas prices
Stephanopoulos: snap
McDonnell: Romney wants to train all Americans
to work in lucrative new jobs like private equity,
looting, layoffs and tax-offshoring
Villaraigosa: Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan will
raise taxes on the middle class!
McDonnell: Obama didn’t fix the recession
fast enough!
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming guys
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Does Todd “fighting ovaries”
Akin hurt the GOP
Will: he’s a moron but I thought liberals solved
all this with Roe v Wade
Granholm: Mitt Romney is running away
from his own party’s platform
Matalin: we need to get this dipshit out of the race
Stephanopoulos: you think Akin will drop out?
Matalin: I don’t care if he does- we’ll run a write-in
candidate if we have to and if that doesn’t work he
can meet with an unfortunate accident
Edwards: women are fleeing this crazy-ass party
Susteren: what the hell is a legitimate rape
Matalin: the GOP is doing just fine with women
Susteren: not younger women
Matalin: they don’t count
Edwards: it’s not just one crazy man -
GOP policies are hostile to women
Will: Sandra Fluke is some barren slut so
old she’s about to collect social security
so what does she care about contraception
Granholm: forcible trans-vaginal probes
are not small government
Matalin: abortion is very nice but Obama
is a Kenyan who will destroy America
Stephanopoulos: awesome
******************************
Jonathan Karl
Gov. Bob McDonnell (R-VA)
Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa (D-Los Angeles)
Rep. Donna Edwards
Greta Van Susteren
George Will
Mary Matalin
*******************************
Stephanopoulos: OMG God sent a hurricane
to the GOP convention
Karl: Republicans expect torrential winds,
rain and a little Biblical flood
Stephanopoulos: what is their disaster plan
Karl: they’ve issued everyone one red umbrella
Stephanopoulos: will this affect the convention?
Karl: yes but they are used to it since the
Lord sent another hurricane four years ago
Stephanopoulos: the Almighty is persistent
McDonnell: The Party of Abraham defeats Isaac!
Stephanopoulos: did God sent a storm
because he hates you
McDonnell: no this weather only proves we
are better than Democrats because it
will only take us 3 days to nominate a guy
Stephanopoulos: former GOP Florida Governor
Charlie Crist says the GOP has gone
completely insane
McDonnell: Obama downgraded
America’s credit rating
Stephanopoulos: you want to amend the
U.S. Constitution to protect zygotes
McDonnell: you can’t pay attention to the
Party platform - those are just our fundamental
beliefs that we don’t care about
Stephanopoulos: I’m confused - are you in
favor of the Constitutional amendment or not
McDonnell: abortion is up to the states and Congress
Stephanopoulos: not if you amend
the Constitution genius
McDonnell: also the Supreme Court has spoken
on this issue so let’s drop and also amend the
Constitution or not whatever
Villargiosa: an adamant policy of no exceptions
for rape or incest is extreme
Stephanopoulos: but you just heard deny
McDonnell that is the GOP policy although
it’s in the platform
Villargiosa: yes I heard that white man spin wildly
Stephanopoulos: the economy is still bad
3 1/2 into the Obama Presidency
Villaraigosa: Obama has an awesome jobs plan
and the GOP rejected it
Stephanopoulos: what else
Villaraigosa: we need to raise taxes on rich people pronto
McDonnell: Obama is good family man with
a nice wife and adorable kids but he
increased the debt and doubled gas prices
Stephanopoulos: snap
McDonnell: Romney wants to train all Americans
to work in lucrative new jobs like private equity,
looting, layoffs and tax-offshoring
Villaraigosa: Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan will
raise taxes on the middle class!
McDonnell: Obama didn’t fix the recession
fast enough!
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming guys
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Does Todd “fighting ovaries”
Akin hurt the GOP
Will: he’s a moron but I thought liberals solved
all this with Roe v Wade
Granholm: Mitt Romney is running away
from his own party’s platform
Matalin: we need to get this dipshit out of the race
Stephanopoulos: you think Akin will drop out?
Matalin: I don’t care if he does- we’ll run a write-in
candidate if we have to and if that doesn’t work he
can meet with an unfortunate accident
Edwards: women are fleeing this crazy-ass party
Susteren: what the hell is a legitimate rape
Matalin: the GOP is doing just fine with women
Susteren: not younger women
Matalin: they don’t count
Edwards: it’s not just one crazy man -
GOP policies are hostile to women
Will: Sandra Fluke is some barren slut so
old she’s about to collect social security
so what does she care about contraception
Granholm: forcible trans-vaginal probes
are not small government
Matalin: abortion is very nice but Obama
is a Kenyan who will destroy America
Stephanopoulos: awesome
******************************
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Meet The Press - August 19, 2012
Guests:
Gov. Martin O’Malley (D-Md.)
Gov. Bob McDonnell (R-Va.)
Mayor Kasim Reed (D-Atlanta)
Ted Cruz (R-TX)
E.J. Dionne
Chuck Todd
Peggy Noonan
Rudy Giuliani
*********************************
Gregory: OMG the campaigns are
actually talking about an issue like
Medicare - that’s terrible!
Obama: I will protect Medicare from Paul Ryan!
Ryan: I will protect my Mommy from Obama!
Gregory: so how about that Paul Ryan?
O’Malley: Paul Ryan wants to privatize Medicare!
McDonnell: Obama caused the recession in 2007!
Gregory: is Medicare doomed
McDonnell: Medicare will go bankrupt in
a few decades!
Gregory: Joe Biden said the GOP is going
to put y’all back in chains
O’Malley: so fucking what
Gregory: but it’s so divisive!
O’Malley: Romney uses racist dog whistles
all damn the time
Greg: Bob how do you answer the charge
that Joe Biden is a racist?
McDonnell: sadly I must agree
Gregory: Romney says Obama is running
a campaign of hate
O’Malley: Romney is a big whiner who
constantly fouls and then calls foul
Gregory: Romney says he paid a
whopping 13% in taxes
McDonnell: Obama had a whopping tax hike!
Gregory: that would be an awesome
point if it were true
O’Malley: Fluffy who knows if Mitt
ever paid taxes at all??
McDonnell: Obama is a nice guy but he’s
failed to fix the Republican recession of 2008
Gregory: Obama would take $700 billion from
Medicare and Romney would make is a
voucher program for people under 55
O’Malley: a fucking voucher - how delightful
McDonnell: Romney is just being honest -
America is the greatest country in the world
and can’t afford to take care of old people anymore
Gregory: I’m sold
McDonnell: we have to cut Medicare -
also Obama robbed Medicare
Gregory: Ryan proposed the same
efficiency cuts that Obama made
McDonnell: exactly - Obama has blood
on his hands!
Gregory: I’m confused
McDonnell: America is awesome!
We’re broke! USA! USA!
Gregory: rock on
McDonnell: Obama just talks and talks
and Ryan bravely promises to give more
money to current old people
Gregory: unemployment is still really high
O’Malley: true but we created
more jobs last year than in 8 years of
George Bush Presidency
Gregory: maybe but he gave good aircraft carrier
O’Malley: should we give another
massive tax cut to people who make
millions of dollars per year?
Gregory: it couldn’t hurt!
Gregory: Ted you are an hispanic
anti-establishment tea partier
Cruz: I love Paul Ryan!!
Gregory: go on please
Cruz: Romney is admittedly intensely
dislikable but Obama isn’t creating
enough jobs
Reed: Ryan is a loveable right-wing nut
Dionne: true believers on the left and
right believe voucherizing Medicare is
a winning issue for them
Gregory: oh it’s on now
Dionne: The GOP has to decide if Barack Obama
is a socialist who is giving away freebies to the poor
or a brtue who is viciously cutting Medicare
Noonan: Ryan is good-looking and serious
but putting old people on an ice floe may
not be a winning issue for the GOP
Todd: the GOP brilliantly shifted away
from lack of jobs to talk about how
Republicans want to cut Medicare
Cruz: the American people are fed up
with Medicare maybe someday going
to people younger than 55!
Gregory: you go Tom!
Cruz: Ted
Gregory: whatever you’re only a nominee
Cruz: the government has its boot on
the neck of the people!
Noonan: voters are dissatisfied and crave
hope and optimism also someone
who will admit we are broke and
must privatize the social safety net
Dionne: if we’re broke can we at least
raise taxes on billionaires?
Reed: Ryan isn’t serious - he voted for TARP,
tax cuts, wars and drug benefits and none of
it was paid for as long as Bush was President
Cruz: he’s been serious about talking about
cutting spending since Obama became President
Reed: what a damn joke
Dionne: Obama is serious about talking
about cutting too!
Cruz: yes but I hate him so it doesn’t count
Gregory: Saint Rudy tell me about Paul Ryan
Giuiliani: he’s not as dumb as Sarah Palin
Gregory: win
Giuiliani: we have learned since the
Bush recession that government is too big
Gregory: what about Medicare issue
Giuiliani: it’s a risk that talking about it could
ruin the GOP but it’s worth it to privatize
the social safety net
Gregory: should Mitt Romney talk
about his taxes?
Giuiliani: I’m sure it’s a non-issue but he
should he should not reveal them because
it could be very damaging
Gregory: how do you respond to the
charge that Joe Biden made a gaffe
Giuiliani: I’m afraid I must admit that
Joe Biden is a terrible person and a moron
Gregory: and yet he’s Vice President and
you barely avoided prison
Giuiliani: I only said that because I want to
shame the media into making fun of Joe Biden
Todd: be careful - don’t underestimate
Joe Biden - behind those gaffes is
a sharp cookie and a genial genius
Noonan: Joe Biden’s gaffe is the most
important thing ever - but he’s also
loveable senile daffy old man
Gregory: imagine if we had a President like
that Peggy ha ha
Reed: Fluffy you are fucking obsessed
with this - does the name Ted Nugent
mean anything to you
[ break ]
Gregory: who’s going to win the election Chucky?
Todd: if Obama wins Florida Romney can
win every toss-up state and still lose
Gregory: yikes
Dionne: the base of the GOP are old
people who watch Fox constantly but
Medicare gives Obama an opening
Gregory: but shouldn’t we cut Medicare?
Cruz: absolutely!
Gregory: go on Tom
Cruz: we must save Medicare by privatizing it
Gregory: I see
Cruz: we must completely reform
Medicare so it will be there
for younger people
Gregory: in a completely different form
Cruz: exactly
Noonan: Paul Ryan bravely went to
old people in Florida and told them he
was going to give them another trillion dollars
Greg: brilliant
Noonan: the American people know that
America can’t afford Medicare anymore
Reed: y’all are crazy!
Todd: Ted you demand cuts of Medicare
and then bash Obama for taking money
away from Medicare
Cruz: but he gave the money to undeserving
lazy people on Obamacare
Dionne: that’s all total bullshit - Romney
would re-open the doughnut hole
Gregory: glazed or powdered
Dionne: the GOP never liked Medicare and
have always wanted to get rid of it -
let’s talk about that!
Gregory: sorry we can’t - we talked about the
important issues of Joe Biden’s gaffe and
what Giuliani thinks about it so we’re all out of time
Dionne: of course
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
**************************************************
Virtually Speaking Sunday 6:00 p.m. pacific | 9:00 p.m. eastern
David Waldman (@KagroX) & Jay Ackroyd (@jayackroyd) discuss
the past week's political and policy developments. Also listen for
Bobblespeak's Most Ridiculous Moment
Listen live and later
Gov. Martin O’Malley (D-Md.)
Gov. Bob McDonnell (R-Va.)
Mayor Kasim Reed (D-Atlanta)
Ted Cruz (R-TX)
E.J. Dionne
Chuck Todd
Peggy Noonan
Rudy Giuliani
*********************************
Gregory: OMG the campaigns are
actually talking about an issue like
Medicare - that’s terrible!
Obama: I will protect Medicare from Paul Ryan!
Ryan: I will protect my Mommy from Obama!
Gregory: so how about that Paul Ryan?
O’Malley: Paul Ryan wants to privatize Medicare!
McDonnell: Obama caused the recession in 2007!
Gregory: is Medicare doomed
McDonnell: Medicare will go bankrupt in
a few decades!
Gregory: Joe Biden said the GOP is going
to put y’all back in chains
O’Malley: so fucking what
Gregory: but it’s so divisive!
O’Malley: Romney uses racist dog whistles
all damn the time
Greg: Bob how do you answer the charge
that Joe Biden is a racist?
McDonnell: sadly I must agree
Gregory: Romney says Obama is running
a campaign of hate
O’Malley: Romney is a big whiner who
constantly fouls and then calls foul
Gregory: Romney says he paid a
whopping 13% in taxes
McDonnell: Obama had a whopping tax hike!
Gregory: that would be an awesome
point if it were true
O’Malley: Fluffy who knows if Mitt
ever paid taxes at all??
McDonnell: Obama is a nice guy but he’s
failed to fix the Republican recession of 2008
Gregory: Obama would take $700 billion from
Medicare and Romney would make is a
voucher program for people under 55
O’Malley: a fucking voucher - how delightful
McDonnell: Romney is just being honest -
America is the greatest country in the world
and can’t afford to take care of old people anymore
Gregory: I’m sold
McDonnell: we have to cut Medicare -
also Obama robbed Medicare
Gregory: Ryan proposed the same
efficiency cuts that Obama made
McDonnell: exactly - Obama has blood
on his hands!
Gregory: I’m confused
McDonnell: America is awesome!
We’re broke! USA! USA!
Gregory: rock on
McDonnell: Obama just talks and talks
and Ryan bravely promises to give more
money to current old people
Gregory: unemployment is still really high
O’Malley: true but we created
more jobs last year than in 8 years of
George Bush Presidency
Gregory: maybe but he gave good aircraft carrier
O’Malley: should we give another
massive tax cut to people who make
millions of dollars per year?
Gregory: it couldn’t hurt!
Gregory: Ted you are an hispanic
anti-establishment tea partier
Cruz: I love Paul Ryan!!
Gregory: go on please
Cruz: Romney is admittedly intensely
dislikable but Obama isn’t creating
enough jobs
Reed: Ryan is a loveable right-wing nut
Dionne: true believers on the left and
right believe voucherizing Medicare is
a winning issue for them
Gregory: oh it’s on now
Dionne: The GOP has to decide if Barack Obama
is a socialist who is giving away freebies to the poor
or a brtue who is viciously cutting Medicare
Noonan: Ryan is good-looking and serious
but putting old people on an ice floe may
not be a winning issue for the GOP
Todd: the GOP brilliantly shifted away
from lack of jobs to talk about how
Republicans want to cut Medicare
Cruz: the American people are fed up
with Medicare maybe someday going
to people younger than 55!
Gregory: you go Tom!
Cruz: Ted
Gregory: whatever you’re only a nominee
Cruz: the government has its boot on
the neck of the people!
Noonan: voters are dissatisfied and crave
hope and optimism also someone
who will admit we are broke and
must privatize the social safety net
Dionne: if we’re broke can we at least
raise taxes on billionaires?
Reed: Ryan isn’t serious - he voted for TARP,
tax cuts, wars and drug benefits and none of
it was paid for as long as Bush was President
Cruz: he’s been serious about talking about
cutting spending since Obama became President
Reed: what a damn joke
Dionne: Obama is serious about talking
about cutting too!
Cruz: yes but I hate him so it doesn’t count
Gregory: Saint Rudy tell me about Paul Ryan
Giuiliani: he’s not as dumb as Sarah Palin
Gregory: win
Giuiliani: we have learned since the
Bush recession that government is too big
Gregory: what about Medicare issue
Giuiliani: it’s a risk that talking about it could
ruin the GOP but it’s worth it to privatize
the social safety net
Gregory: should Mitt Romney talk
about his taxes?
Giuiliani: I’m sure it’s a non-issue but he
should he should not reveal them because
it could be very damaging
Gregory: how do you respond to the
charge that Joe Biden made a gaffe
Giuiliani: I’m afraid I must admit that
Joe Biden is a terrible person and a moron
Gregory: and yet he’s Vice President and
you barely avoided prison
Giuiliani: I only said that because I want to
shame the media into making fun of Joe Biden
Todd: be careful - don’t underestimate
Joe Biden - behind those gaffes is
a sharp cookie and a genial genius
Noonan: Joe Biden’s gaffe is the most
important thing ever - but he’s also
loveable senile daffy old man
Gregory: imagine if we had a President like
that Peggy ha ha
Reed: Fluffy you are fucking obsessed
with this - does the name Ted Nugent
mean anything to you
[ break ]
Gregory: who’s going to win the election Chucky?
Todd: if Obama wins Florida Romney can
win every toss-up state and still lose
Gregory: yikes
Dionne: the base of the GOP are old
people who watch Fox constantly but
Medicare gives Obama an opening
Gregory: but shouldn’t we cut Medicare?
Cruz: absolutely!
Gregory: go on Tom
Cruz: we must save Medicare by privatizing it
Gregory: I see
Cruz: we must completely reform
Medicare so it will be there
for younger people
Gregory: in a completely different form
Cruz: exactly
Noonan: Paul Ryan bravely went to
old people in Florida and told them he
was going to give them another trillion dollars
Greg: brilliant
Noonan: the American people know that
America can’t afford Medicare anymore
Reed: y’all are crazy!
Todd: Ted you demand cuts of Medicare
and then bash Obama for taking money
away from Medicare
Cruz: but he gave the money to undeserving
lazy people on Obamacare
Dionne: that’s all total bullshit - Romney
would re-open the doughnut hole
Gregory: glazed or powdered
Dionne: the GOP never liked Medicare and
have always wanted to get rid of it -
let’s talk about that!
Gregory: sorry we can’t - we talked about the
important issues of Joe Biden’s gaffe and
what Giuliani thinks about it so we’re all out of time
Dionne: of course
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
**************************************************
Virtually Speaking Sunday 6:00 p.m. pacific | 9:00 p.m. eastern
David Waldman (@KagroX) & Jay Ackroyd (@jayackroyd) discuss
the past week's political and policy developments. Also listen for
Bobblespeak's Most Ridiculous Moment
Listen live and later
This Week on ABC - August 19, 2012
Guests:
Stephanie Cutter - Obama Campaign
Kevin Madden - Romney Campaign
****************************************
Tapper: OMG politics is so mean!
Obama: Paul Ryan wants Mitt Romney
to pay 1% in taxes!
Madden: yes but this would give poor
Americans an incentive to invest in the
very trustworthy stock market
Cutter: Romney will raise taxes on the
middle class by $2,000 just to give a
big tax cut to rich people
Tapper: it’s a fair cop
Madden: Obama wants to raise to taxes
on our Job Creators®
Cutter: they are Winkelvoss Twins of employment
-- if those people were Job Creators® they
would have created jobs
Tappen: Obama is very mean to talk about
Romney putting a dog on the roof of his car
Cutter: LOL that was hilarious
Madden: Romney is running a very serious
campaign about coal and Obama is dividing
America talking about his favorite chili
Tapper: I hear you but Romney does lie
pretty much all the tie
Madden: that’s true but Obama is a socialist
appeaser who will turn America over to
the Revered Wright and a bunch of Black Panthers
Tapper: Rudy Giuliani says Joe Biden
isn’t very bright
Cutter: did Bernie Kerik tell him to say that?
Tapper: Biden says Republicans are
gonna put y’all back in chains
Cutten: so what - Romney said Wall Street
was chained and shackled
Tapper: Paul Ryan said he would end
the gutting of Medicare which he and
Obama proposed
Madden: Obama destroyed Medicare
and gave the money to lazy people!
Tapper: nice
Madden: also the GOP bravely guts Medicare
for people under 55
Tapper: Did Mitt Romney kill a steelworker’s wife?
Cutter: no no no not at all - Bain Capital did
Tapper: did Obama kill Osama bin Laden?
Madden: No George Bush did -
Obama had nothing to do with it!
Tapper: thanks for this fascinating
discussion guys
****************************************
Stephanie Cutter - Obama Campaign
Kevin Madden - Romney Campaign
****************************************
Tapper: OMG politics is so mean!
Obama: Paul Ryan wants Mitt Romney
to pay 1% in taxes!
Madden: yes but this would give poor
Americans an incentive to invest in the
very trustworthy stock market
Cutter: Romney will raise taxes on the
middle class by $2,000 just to give a
big tax cut to rich people
Tapper: it’s a fair cop
Madden: Obama wants to raise to taxes
on our Job Creators®
Cutter: they are Winkelvoss Twins of employment
-- if those people were Job Creators® they
would have created jobs
Tappen: Obama is very mean to talk about
Romney putting a dog on the roof of his car
Cutter: LOL that was hilarious
Madden: Romney is running a very serious
campaign about coal and Obama is dividing
America talking about his favorite chili
Tapper: I hear you but Romney does lie
pretty much all the tie
Madden: that’s true but Obama is a socialist
appeaser who will turn America over to
the Revered Wright and a bunch of Black Panthers
Tapper: Rudy Giuliani says Joe Biden
isn’t very bright
Cutter: did Bernie Kerik tell him to say that?
Tapper: Biden says Republicans are
gonna put y’all back in chains
Cutten: so what - Romney said Wall Street
was chained and shackled
Tapper: Paul Ryan said he would end
the gutting of Medicare which he and
Obama proposed
Madden: Obama destroyed Medicare
and gave the money to lazy people!
Tapper: nice
Madden: also the GOP bravely guts Medicare
for people under 55
Tapper: Did Mitt Romney kill a steelworker’s wife?
Cutter: no no no not at all - Bain Capital did
Tapper: did Obama kill Osama bin Laden?
Madden: No George Bush did -
Obama had nothing to do with it!
Tapper: thanks for this fascinating
discussion guys
****************************************
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Meet The Press - August 12, 2012
Guests:
Reince Preibus - Chair RNC
Gov. Scott Walker (R-WI)
David Axelrod (Obama Campaign)
Dan Balz
Rachel Maddow
Rich Lowry
Bill Bennett
Rafalca
***************************
Gregory: OMG Paul Ryan is now the
intellectual leader of the Republican Party
Audience: high praise indeed
Reporter: Paul Ryan is going to
campaign without Mitt Romney who
will spend more time with his money
Gregory: Team Romney outwitted
the national political media
Audience: unpossible
Reporter: Journalists didn’t recognize
Ryan because he was wearing a
baseball cap and also he doesn’t
usually venture out in sunlight
Gregory: I love it
Reporter: then Ryan snuck out the back
of a magic wardrobe in his house and
scampered through the woods
Gregory: he’s like budget-cutting
woodland goblin
[ break ]
Gregory: is this a game-changing choice?
Preibus: America is starving and hungry
Gregory: we all know that
Preibus: this choice shows that Romney
will govern as he campaigned - as a
soulless rich white guy
Gregory: Does Paul Ryan want to put
our elderly out on the street?
Preibus: Obama promised to carpet the world!
Gregory: plush or berber?
Preibus: saxony!
Gregory: naturally
Preibus: Obama ruined our credit rating
Gregory: I thought that was the tea party
Preibus: Obama wants to gut Medicare!
Gregory: Ryan wants to turn
Medicare into a voucher program
Preibus: yes but Obama will bankrupt Medicare
Gregory: my goodness
Preibus: Obama is filthy thief who stole
money from Medicare and gave it to
his lazy friends on welfare
Gregory: those are strong words Reince
Preibus: Fluffy we must save Medicare
for future generations by taking it
away from present generations
Gregory: tell me more
Preibus: Obama loves the sound of his
own voice like some uppity
voice-talking guy
Gregory: and that breathing thing
he does - it never stops
Preibus: we are truly blessed to have
these two white men willing to revoke Medicare
Gregory: Paul Ryan voted for TARP,
bailouts, wars and tax cuts
Preibus: That was completely different
- a Republican was President
Gregory: I see
Preibus: Democrat are criminals who
won’t cut Medicare!
Gregory: Ryan has no foreign policy or
private sector experience
Preibus: Romney ran the Olympics!
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: welcome Governor Walker
Walker: cheesehead rule!
Gregory: let’s to some tough questions
- what is noodling?
Walker: Ryan’s personal life is none
of our business
Gregory: was this a game changing choice?
Walker: Yes - Paul Ryan is adorable!
Gregory: you think America will fall in love?
Walker: Ryan is a great choice and also
Mitt Romney is very courageous for
choosing such a principled nut
Gregory: People don’t want to change Medicare
Walker: Americans deserve better than
a boring national conversation about Medicare
Gregory: it seems like a problem
Walker: don’t worry Fluffers -
Mitt Romney will protect Medicare
from the likes of Paul Ryan
Gregory: I feel so much better now
Walker: Obama won’t protect future
children from current greedy elderly people
Gregory: Do people care more about
the debt or do they want Social Security
and Medicare?
Walker: I am not the second Governor
ever recalled from office
Gregory: winning!
Walker: Romney is very bold for
choosing such a divisive figure as Paul Ryan
Gregory: Can Ryan even carry his home state?
Walker: if he doesn’t it’s because
we’re a certified Blue State®
Gregory: how do you win Wisconsin?
Walker: Noodles!
[ break ]
Gregory: how about Paul Ryan?
Axelrod: Ryan would cut funding for
medical research and nursing homes and
instead give rich people trillions of dollars
Gregory: Paul Ryan would respond to
you by saying DEBT CRISIS
Axelrod: uh huh
Gregory: Ryan says we must destroy the
program in order to save it
Axelrod: Fluffy Obama added eight
years to life of Medicare
Gregory: well that’s not enough
Axelrod: Gingrich called the Ryan plan
right-wing social engineering
Gregory: good - America needs more engineers
Axelrod: Ryan voted for tax cuts,
more wars, bailouts and now he wants
… moar tax cuts!
Gregory: Ryan says Obama had 24
months to fix the Republican recession
and he failed
Axelrod: the GOP gave Obama an
economy shedding 800,000 jobs per month
Gregory: that’s all in the past
Axelrod: the GOP wants to double down on
the ideas that caused a Depression
in the first place
Gregory: forget the petty arguments over unemployment - what is this election all about?
Axelrod: saving the middle class or crushing it
Gregory: Romney says Obama is
very mean for a Super PAC ad saying
a guy was laid off by Bain and he
lost his health insurance and his wife died
Axelrod: here’s the thing about that ad
- it’s all true
Gregory: well it’s not very polite
Axelrod: Meanwhile Romney approved
a totally false ad saying Obama wants
to give welfare money away to undeserving
lazy people
Gregory: speaking of that - our
expert panel is coming up next
[ break ]
Gregory: OMG we’re all in love with Ryan!!
Todd: Mitt 2.0 needed a re-boot
Gregory: I love it
Todd: Romney did some internal polling
and found that after he has campaigned
for six months and no one likes him
Balz: This was as they say a
moment of clarity
Gregory: sweet
Balz: the debate is going to be teh awesome!
Gregory: liberals and conservatives both
love how polarizing Ryan is
Maddow: liberals want the election to
be a choice between keeping Medicare
or getting rid of it
Bennett: I’m begging the American people
to pause for a minute and not reject
Ryan’s crazy ideas out of hand
Gregory: that’s fair
Bennett: you’re gonna have to deal
with Ryan now bitches! It’s on!
Lowry: conservatives are thrilled with
this choice since Romney is a clearly a
loser and a weak candidate
Lowry: Obama accused Romney of
killing people but he has blood on his
hands because he takes money from Medicare
Maddow: Ryan’s plan does that too!
Lowry: but Romney is the nominee so
that doesn’t matter
Maddow: that’s amazing - Ryan is
simultaneously a conservative superhero
for budget-cutting but his budget ideas
are also irrelevant?
Lowry: that’s my story and I’m sticking with it
Todd: um what the fuck Rich?
Lowry: We must cut medicare!
Obama cuts medicare!
Balz: even Republicans can’t stand
Ryan’s batshit ideas
Bennett: Paul Ryan turned Alice Rivlin
into a vampire and she’s perfectly happy
Maddow: we cannot rely solely on the
contentment level of the reluctant undead
Bennett: under Ryan’s bold visionary
plan people could stay on Medicare
if they wanted to
Gregory: well I’m sold
Gregory: Chucky can Romney-Ryan win?
Todd: there are old people in Florida,
Iowa and Pennsylvania and they
kind of like Medicare
Bennett: Obama is wrecking the country
Gregory: I see
Bennett: Romney is like Ronald Reagan
Reagan: don’t drag me into this Bill
Gregory: are voters yearning for
cutting spending?
Maddow: Ryan’s plan is to cut taxes
for rich people and MAGIC
Lowry: everyone knows that when you
cut taxes for rich people revenues go up
Gregory: everyone?
Lowry: yes - look at how popular
Simpson-Bowles is
Maddow: Paul Ryan rejected Simpson-Bowles because it slightly raised taxes
Lowry: Rachel do you support cutting
funds for Medicare - yes or no!
Maddow: I’m not running for office
- Paul Ryan is
Lowry: but only for Vice President -
no one cares about that - now I demand
you answer my question
Gregory: Bill tell me something wonderful
about Paul Ryan
Bennett: when I first met Ryan I told him
I liked sex and drugs and Paul said
no thanks I’m only into money
Gregory: that’s wonderful - what else
Bennett: he’s 2,000 years old, sleeps
underground, has his original heart
and never shot a man in the face
Gregory: what a dreamboat!
[ break ]
Gregory: hi Rafalca
Rafalca: nice to see you Fluffy
Gregory: how were the Olympic games
Rafalca: they were amazing - marching
the opening ceremonies was incredible
although when I saw all those Mary Poppins
I nearly plopped one on the track
Gregory: should you be exempt from
taxes on your Olympic winnings
Rafalca: that doesn’t concern me since
I’m actually a corporation registered
in the Cayman Islands
Gregory: should Mitt release his taxes
about you?
Rafalca: don’t drag me into this -
I’m just a horse who loves to dance
Gregory: what does the future hold for you
Rafalca: I’m aiming to do the hokey-pokey in Rio
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
*****************************************
Virtually Speaking Sundays
Marcy Wheeler (@emptywheel) and Avedon Carol (@Avedon_Says )
discuss developments of the week, including Mitt Romney's selection of
Paul Ryan on the GOP ticket. Featuring Culture of Truth's weekly commentary
on the Sunday News Shows: The Most Ridiculous Thing that happened this Sunday.
6:00 p.m. pacific | 9:00 p.m. eastern
Listen live and later at BlogTalkRadio
Reince Preibus - Chair RNC
Gov. Scott Walker (R-WI)
David Axelrod (Obama Campaign)
Dan Balz
Rachel Maddow
Rich Lowry
Bill Bennett
Rafalca
***************************
Gregory: OMG Paul Ryan is now the
intellectual leader of the Republican Party
Audience: high praise indeed
Reporter: Paul Ryan is going to
campaign without Mitt Romney who
will spend more time with his money
Gregory: Team Romney outwitted
the national political media
Audience: unpossible
Reporter: Journalists didn’t recognize
Ryan because he was wearing a
baseball cap and also he doesn’t
usually venture out in sunlight
Gregory: I love it
Reporter: then Ryan snuck out the back
of a magic wardrobe in his house and
scampered through the woods
Gregory: he’s like budget-cutting
woodland goblin
[ break ]
Gregory: is this a game-changing choice?
Preibus: America is starving and hungry
Gregory: we all know that
Preibus: this choice shows that Romney
will govern as he campaigned - as a
soulless rich white guy
Gregory: Does Paul Ryan want to put
our elderly out on the street?
Preibus: Obama promised to carpet the world!
Gregory: plush or berber?
Preibus: saxony!
Gregory: naturally
Preibus: Obama ruined our credit rating
Gregory: I thought that was the tea party
Preibus: Obama wants to gut Medicare!
Gregory: Ryan wants to turn
Medicare into a voucher program
Preibus: yes but Obama will bankrupt Medicare
Gregory: my goodness
Preibus: Obama is filthy thief who stole
money from Medicare and gave it to
his lazy friends on welfare
Gregory: those are strong words Reince
Preibus: Fluffy we must save Medicare
for future generations by taking it
away from present generations
Gregory: tell me more
Preibus: Obama loves the sound of his
own voice like some uppity
voice-talking guy
Gregory: and that breathing thing
he does - it never stops
Preibus: we are truly blessed to have
these two white men willing to revoke Medicare
Gregory: Paul Ryan voted for TARP,
bailouts, wars and tax cuts
Preibus: That was completely different
- a Republican was President
Gregory: I see
Preibus: Democrat are criminals who
won’t cut Medicare!
Gregory: Ryan has no foreign policy or
private sector experience
Preibus: Romney ran the Olympics!
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: welcome Governor Walker
Walker: cheesehead rule!
Gregory: let’s to some tough questions
- what is noodling?
Walker: Ryan’s personal life is none
of our business
Gregory: was this a game changing choice?
Walker: Yes - Paul Ryan is adorable!
Gregory: you think America will fall in love?
Walker: Ryan is a great choice and also
Mitt Romney is very courageous for
choosing such a principled nut
Gregory: People don’t want to change Medicare
Walker: Americans deserve better than
a boring national conversation about Medicare
Gregory: it seems like a problem
Walker: don’t worry Fluffers -
Mitt Romney will protect Medicare
from the likes of Paul Ryan
Gregory: I feel so much better now
Walker: Obama won’t protect future
children from current greedy elderly people
Gregory: Do people care more about
the debt or do they want Social Security
and Medicare?
Walker: I am not the second Governor
ever recalled from office
Gregory: winning!
Walker: Romney is very bold for
choosing such a divisive figure as Paul Ryan
Gregory: Can Ryan even carry his home state?
Walker: if he doesn’t it’s because
we’re a certified Blue State®
Gregory: how do you win Wisconsin?
Walker: Noodles!
[ break ]
Gregory: how about Paul Ryan?
Axelrod: Ryan would cut funding for
medical research and nursing homes and
instead give rich people trillions of dollars
Gregory: Paul Ryan would respond to
you by saying DEBT CRISIS
Axelrod: uh huh
Gregory: Ryan says we must destroy the
program in order to save it
Axelrod: Fluffy Obama added eight
years to life of Medicare
Gregory: well that’s not enough
Axelrod: Gingrich called the Ryan plan
right-wing social engineering
Gregory: good - America needs more engineers
Axelrod: Ryan voted for tax cuts,
more wars, bailouts and now he wants
… moar tax cuts!
Gregory: Ryan says Obama had 24
months to fix the Republican recession
and he failed
Axelrod: the GOP gave Obama an
economy shedding 800,000 jobs per month
Gregory: that’s all in the past
Axelrod: the GOP wants to double down on
the ideas that caused a Depression
in the first place
Gregory: forget the petty arguments over unemployment - what is this election all about?
Axelrod: saving the middle class or crushing it
Gregory: Romney says Obama is
very mean for a Super PAC ad saying
a guy was laid off by Bain and he
lost his health insurance and his wife died
Axelrod: here’s the thing about that ad
- it’s all true
Gregory: well it’s not very polite
Axelrod: Meanwhile Romney approved
a totally false ad saying Obama wants
to give welfare money away to undeserving
lazy people
Gregory: speaking of that - our
expert panel is coming up next
[ break ]
Gregory: OMG we’re all in love with Ryan!!
Todd: Mitt 2.0 needed a re-boot
Gregory: I love it
Todd: Romney did some internal polling
and found that after he has campaigned
for six months and no one likes him
Balz: This was as they say a
moment of clarity
Gregory: sweet
Balz: the debate is going to be teh awesome!
Gregory: liberals and conservatives both
love how polarizing Ryan is
Maddow: liberals want the election to
be a choice between keeping Medicare
or getting rid of it
Bennett: I’m begging the American people
to pause for a minute and not reject
Ryan’s crazy ideas out of hand
Gregory: that’s fair
Bennett: you’re gonna have to deal
with Ryan now bitches! It’s on!
Lowry: conservatives are thrilled with
this choice since Romney is a clearly a
loser and a weak candidate
Lowry: Obama accused Romney of
killing people but he has blood on his
hands because he takes money from Medicare
Maddow: Ryan’s plan does that too!
Lowry: but Romney is the nominee so
that doesn’t matter
Maddow: that’s amazing - Ryan is
simultaneously a conservative superhero
for budget-cutting but his budget ideas
are also irrelevant?
Lowry: that’s my story and I’m sticking with it
Todd: um what the fuck Rich?
Lowry: We must cut medicare!
Obama cuts medicare!
Balz: even Republicans can’t stand
Ryan’s batshit ideas
Bennett: Paul Ryan turned Alice Rivlin
into a vampire and she’s perfectly happy
Maddow: we cannot rely solely on the
contentment level of the reluctant undead
Bennett: under Ryan’s bold visionary
plan people could stay on Medicare
if they wanted to
Gregory: well I’m sold
Gregory: Chucky can Romney-Ryan win?
Todd: there are old people in Florida,
Iowa and Pennsylvania and they
kind of like Medicare
Bennett: Obama is wrecking the country
Gregory: I see
Bennett: Romney is like Ronald Reagan
Reagan: don’t drag me into this Bill
Gregory: are voters yearning for
cutting spending?
Maddow: Ryan’s plan is to cut taxes
for rich people and MAGIC
Lowry: everyone knows that when you
cut taxes for rich people revenues go up
Gregory: everyone?
Lowry: yes - look at how popular
Simpson-Bowles is
Maddow: Paul Ryan rejected Simpson-Bowles because it slightly raised taxes
Lowry: Rachel do you support cutting
funds for Medicare - yes or no!
Maddow: I’m not running for office
- Paul Ryan is
Lowry: but only for Vice President -
no one cares about that - now I demand
you answer my question
Gregory: Bill tell me something wonderful
about Paul Ryan
Bennett: when I first met Ryan I told him
I liked sex and drugs and Paul said
no thanks I’m only into money
Gregory: that’s wonderful - what else
Bennett: he’s 2,000 years old, sleeps
underground, has his original heart
and never shot a man in the face
Gregory: what a dreamboat!
[ break ]
Gregory: hi Rafalca
Rafalca: nice to see you Fluffy
Gregory: how were the Olympic games
Rafalca: they were amazing - marching
the opening ceremonies was incredible
although when I saw all those Mary Poppins
I nearly plopped one on the track
Gregory: should you be exempt from
taxes on your Olympic winnings
Rafalca: that doesn’t concern me since
I’m actually a corporation registered
in the Cayman Islands
Gregory: should Mitt release his taxes
about you?
Rafalca: don’t drag me into this -
I’m just a horse who loves to dance
Gregory: what does the future hold for you
Rafalca: I’m aiming to do the hokey-pokey in Rio
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
*****************************************
Virtually Speaking Sundays
Marcy Wheeler (@emptywheel) and Avedon Carol (@Avedon_Says )
discuss developments of the week, including Mitt Romney's selection of
Paul Ryan on the GOP ticket. Featuring Culture of Truth's weekly commentary
on the Sunday News Shows: The Most Ridiculous Thing that happened this Sunday.
6:00 p.m. pacific | 9:00 p.m. eastern
Listen live and later at BlogTalkRadio
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - August 12, 2012
Guests:
Fmr. Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R-MN)
David Axelrod (Obama Campaign)
Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-CA)
Howard Dean
Paul Gigot
Cokie Roberts
Peggy Noonan
******************************
Stephanopoulos: wow Romney chose
Paul Ryan to be his Vice President!
Karl: ha Paul Ryan snuck through his
back door into the woods -
the media had no clue
Stephanopoulos: we all know that
Karl: it’s not everyone who can fool
the Beltway media
Stephanopoulos: Ryan has energized
this campaign!
Karl: it’s so on now right now!
Stephanopoulos: but they aren’t
campaigning together
Karl: it’s divide and conquer
Stephanopoulos: do even know
what ‘divide and conquers means?
Karl: um
Stephanopoulos: Axel what
about Paul Ryan?
Axelrod: he’s a scary right-wing
ideologue who would defund
science and education
Stephanopoulos: science is overrated
Axelrod: did I mention he wants
to privatize social security
Stephanopoulos: Ryan is going right
after Obama - does that scare you
Axelrod: Ryan would raise taxes on
the middle class and give rich
people a big tax cut
Stephanopoulos: Mitt Romney says
they will save Medicare from Obama
who steals money from it
Axelrod: Romney’s plan does the same thing
Stephanopoulos: but Paul Ryan
is the nominee now
Axelrod: they also turn Medicare
into a voucher program
Stephanopoulos: that’s good because
Americans love to clip coupons
Axelrod: Ryan doesn’t even think
Medicare should exist
Stephanopoulos: will Ryan carry swing states?
Axelrod: only those that hate women,
medical research and the middle class
Stephanopoulos: a Super PAC ad implies
Romney was responsible for
an employee’s wife’s death
Axelrod: Romney approved an ad that
lies about welfare
Stephanopoulos: still it’s very mean
Axelrod: it’s all true though
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Tim you are two-time
loser in the race for Vice President -
no offense but that’s kind of pathetic
Pawlenty: [ sobs ]
Stephanopoulos: you must have a sad
Pawlenty: Obama is not an adult
Stephanopoulos: is Paul Ryan an extremist?
Pawlenty: the American people love
people who tell them hard truths
and give money to rich people
Stephanopoulos: that is so true
Pawlenty: the American people realized
the debt is important in January of 2009
Stephanopoulos: of course
Pawlenty: Obama is the real extremist
for cutting $700 billion from Medicare
Stephanopoulos: what about the Ryan plan?
Pawlenty: under Ryan’s plan people
could still stay on Medicare if they want
Stephanopoulos: with $6,000 less
Pawlenty: you would think the President
would have the courage to cut
Medicare but he won’t
Stephanopoulos: you just accused him
of cutting $700 billion from Medicare
Pawlenty: see - he’s evil!
Stephanopoulos: Ryan is only a
House member and he’s spent life
inside the Beltway
Pawlenty: don’t worry - Romney and Ryan
have got the Bush foreign policy
team advising them
Stephanopoulos: what a relief
Pawlenty: Romney knows all about
foreign countries - he has bank
accounts all over the world!
Stephanopoulos: is Romney lying about
Obama moving people from welfare to work?
Pawlenty: it would be very easy for
Obama to clear this up - just release
the President’s orders!
Stephanopoulos: heh
Pawlenty: Obama should have the
basic decency to take responsibility
for a Super PAC ad he isn’t responsible for
Stephanopoulos: will picking Ryan
change the tone of the campaign?
Pawlenty: Obama surrendered to Russia,
betrayed the Czech republic
and keeps raising taxes
Stephanopoulos: actually Obama has cut taxes
Pawlenty: not in my mind
Stephanopoulos: did you give Mitt
more than 2 years of tax returns
Pawlenty: damn right I did
Stephanopoulos: sorry about losing again loser
Pawlenty: [ sobs ]
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: you really wanted
Paul Ryan didn’t you
Gigot: I’ve known him since he was
22 years old and Ryan is one of the
most serious and thoughtful vampires I’ve met
Stephanopoulos: oh good
Gigot: Romney cannot win this election
attacking Obama so he turned to
Paul Ryan to close the deal
Dean: hey I’ve got a great idea -
let’s turn Medicare into a voucher program!
Stephanopoulos: Mitt went with his instincts
Noonan: when Romney was with Bain
he had a great eye for those who
could best suck the life out of companies
Newsom: he’s a young good-looking
policy wonk - what’s not to like?
Stephanopoulos: that says it all Gavin
Newsom: except for alienating all
old people - and also young people
Roberts: even Catholic bishops attacked Paul Ryan’s budget
Gigot: Obama cut $700 billion from Medicare!
Newsom: So does Ryan
Gigot: Obama wants unelected panelists
to cut Medicare - only unelected
judges should do that
Dean: Romney’s big problem is that
people think he’s heartless and doesn’t
care about them - I don’t think bringing
on a zombie is going to help
Noonan: Spending is out of control
since 2009!!
Stephanopoulos: wow
Noonan: Ryan must tell old people he
is trying to save Medicare for their
grandchildren by getting rid of it for
their ungrateful children
Roberts: also he must bravely tell rich
people he is willing cut their taxes
Gigot: Romney has been very specific
that he will end loopholes
Dean: name one
Gigot: quit bugging me
Dean: Get rid of Medicare! Are we insane?
Roberts: but Ryan is a good looking young man
Newsom: that is true
Newsom: Ryan wants to cut taxes for
rich people another thirty percent
Noonan: blue collar workers ruined California!
Stephanopoulos: do tell Peggy
Noonan: the left and right all know we
must embrace Paul Ryan’s serious plan
of wars, tax cuts, bailouts, pork for his
district and ending Medicare
Gigot: Ryan’s plan is just like Simpson Bowles
except without higher taxes to pay for stuff
Dean: the man is a radical and a nut
Noonan: it’s a busy bouncy tweeting
world not worthy of a man like
Saint Paul of Janesville
Roberts: ending Medicare is open
to mean demagoguery
Gigot: America is in decline therefore
we need to turn Medicare into
a voucher program
Roberts: Do people think Romney
cares about them?
Gigot: certainly - some of his best friends
know some regular poor people
Noonan: Democrats want to kill Paul Ryan
Roberts: I like Ryan - he’s cute
Noonan: he’s not the type of person who
would push his grandmother off a cliff -
at least not without a good reason
Newsom: forget demagoguery -
the facts are scary enough
Roberts: Obama has a ridiculous ad with
silly women talking about their
“reproductive rights” - it’s pandering!
Stephanopoulos: what should he have done
Roberts: Obama should run an ad
taking credit for U.S. female Olympic athletes
Noonan: the British disappointed me
by throwing the Queen out of a helicopter
Stephanopoulos: and there really is
nothing more to be said
**********************************
Fmr. Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R-MN)
David Axelrod (Obama Campaign)
Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-CA)
Howard Dean
Paul Gigot
Cokie Roberts
Peggy Noonan
******************************
Stephanopoulos: wow Romney chose
Paul Ryan to be his Vice President!
Karl: ha Paul Ryan snuck through his
back door into the woods -
the media had no clue
Stephanopoulos: we all know that
Karl: it’s not everyone who can fool
the Beltway media
Stephanopoulos: Ryan has energized
this campaign!
Karl: it’s so on now right now!
Stephanopoulos: but they aren’t
campaigning together
Karl: it’s divide and conquer
Stephanopoulos: do even know
what ‘divide and conquers means?
Karl: um
Stephanopoulos: Axel what
about Paul Ryan?
Axelrod: he’s a scary right-wing
ideologue who would defund
science and education
Stephanopoulos: science is overrated
Axelrod: did I mention he wants
to privatize social security
Stephanopoulos: Ryan is going right
after Obama - does that scare you
Axelrod: Ryan would raise taxes on
the middle class and give rich
people a big tax cut
Stephanopoulos: Mitt Romney says
they will save Medicare from Obama
who steals money from it
Axelrod: Romney’s plan does the same thing
Stephanopoulos: but Paul Ryan
is the nominee now
Axelrod: they also turn Medicare
into a voucher program
Stephanopoulos: that’s good because
Americans love to clip coupons
Axelrod: Ryan doesn’t even think
Medicare should exist
Stephanopoulos: will Ryan carry swing states?
Axelrod: only those that hate women,
medical research and the middle class
Stephanopoulos: a Super PAC ad implies
Romney was responsible for
an employee’s wife’s death
Axelrod: Romney approved an ad that
lies about welfare
Stephanopoulos: still it’s very mean
Axelrod: it’s all true though
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Tim you are two-time
loser in the race for Vice President -
no offense but that’s kind of pathetic
Pawlenty: [ sobs ]
Stephanopoulos: you must have a sad
Pawlenty: Obama is not an adult
Stephanopoulos: is Paul Ryan an extremist?
Pawlenty: the American people love
people who tell them hard truths
and give money to rich people
Stephanopoulos: that is so true
Pawlenty: the American people realized
the debt is important in January of 2009
Stephanopoulos: of course
Pawlenty: Obama is the real extremist
for cutting $700 billion from Medicare
Stephanopoulos: what about the Ryan plan?
Pawlenty: under Ryan’s plan people
could still stay on Medicare if they want
Stephanopoulos: with $6,000 less
Pawlenty: you would think the President
would have the courage to cut
Medicare but he won’t
Stephanopoulos: you just accused him
of cutting $700 billion from Medicare
Pawlenty: see - he’s evil!
Stephanopoulos: Ryan is only a
House member and he’s spent life
inside the Beltway
Pawlenty: don’t worry - Romney and Ryan
have got the Bush foreign policy
team advising them
Stephanopoulos: what a relief
Pawlenty: Romney knows all about
foreign countries - he has bank
accounts all over the world!
Stephanopoulos: is Romney lying about
Obama moving people from welfare to work?
Pawlenty: it would be very easy for
Obama to clear this up - just release
the President’s orders!
Stephanopoulos: heh
Pawlenty: Obama should have the
basic decency to take responsibility
for a Super PAC ad he isn’t responsible for
Stephanopoulos: will picking Ryan
change the tone of the campaign?
Pawlenty: Obama surrendered to Russia,
betrayed the Czech republic
and keeps raising taxes
Stephanopoulos: actually Obama has cut taxes
Pawlenty: not in my mind
Stephanopoulos: did you give Mitt
more than 2 years of tax returns
Pawlenty: damn right I did
Stephanopoulos: sorry about losing again loser
Pawlenty: [ sobs ]
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: you really wanted
Paul Ryan didn’t you
Gigot: I’ve known him since he was
22 years old and Ryan is one of the
most serious and thoughtful vampires I’ve met
Stephanopoulos: oh good
Gigot: Romney cannot win this election
attacking Obama so he turned to
Paul Ryan to close the deal
Dean: hey I’ve got a great idea -
let’s turn Medicare into a voucher program!
Stephanopoulos: Mitt went with his instincts
Noonan: when Romney was with Bain
he had a great eye for those who
could best suck the life out of companies
Newsom: he’s a young good-looking
policy wonk - what’s not to like?
Stephanopoulos: that says it all Gavin
Newsom: except for alienating all
old people - and also young people
Roberts: even Catholic bishops attacked Paul Ryan’s budget
Gigot: Obama cut $700 billion from Medicare!
Newsom: So does Ryan
Gigot: Obama wants unelected panelists
to cut Medicare - only unelected
judges should do that
Dean: Romney’s big problem is that
people think he’s heartless and doesn’t
care about them - I don’t think bringing
on a zombie is going to help
Noonan: Spending is out of control
since 2009!!
Stephanopoulos: wow
Noonan: Ryan must tell old people he
is trying to save Medicare for their
grandchildren by getting rid of it for
their ungrateful children
Roberts: also he must bravely tell rich
people he is willing cut their taxes
Gigot: Romney has been very specific
that he will end loopholes
Dean: name one
Gigot: quit bugging me
Dean: Get rid of Medicare! Are we insane?
Roberts: but Ryan is a good looking young man
Newsom: that is true
Newsom: Ryan wants to cut taxes for
rich people another thirty percent
Noonan: blue collar workers ruined California!
Stephanopoulos: do tell Peggy
Noonan: the left and right all know we
must embrace Paul Ryan’s serious plan
of wars, tax cuts, bailouts, pork for his
district and ending Medicare
Gigot: Ryan’s plan is just like Simpson Bowles
except without higher taxes to pay for stuff
Dean: the man is a radical and a nut
Noonan: it’s a busy bouncy tweeting
world not worthy of a man like
Saint Paul of Janesville
Roberts: ending Medicare is open
to mean demagoguery
Gigot: America is in decline therefore
we need to turn Medicare into
a voucher program
Roberts: Do people think Romney
cares about them?
Gigot: certainly - some of his best friends
know some regular poor people
Noonan: Democrats want to kill Paul Ryan
Roberts: I like Ryan - he’s cute
Noonan: he’s not the type of person who
would push his grandmother off a cliff -
at least not without a good reason
Newsom: forget demagoguery -
the facts are scary enough
Roberts: Obama has a ridiculous ad with
silly women talking about their
“reproductive rights” - it’s pandering!
Stephanopoulos: what should he have done
Roberts: Obama should run an ad
taking credit for U.S. female Olympic athletes
Noonan: the British disappointed me
by throwing the Queen out of a helicopter
Stephanopoulos: and there really is
nothing more to be said
**********************************
Sunday, July 29, 2012
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - July 29, 2012
Host:
Matthew Dowd
Robert Gibbs (Adviser - Obama Campaign)
Kevin Madden (Adviser - Romney Campaign)
Donna Brazile
George Will
David Chalian
Dana Loesch
Jonathan Karl
Dick Cheney
********************************
Dowd: wow I declare the Presidential
race is dead even!
Audience: who could possibly have guessed
Gibbs: this election is a choice between a
painfully slow recovery and utter disaster
Madden: no it’s about whether Obama
sufficiently cleaned up the
Republican’s mess and he didn’t
Dowd: that makes sense
Madden: unemployment is high and
Obama is crushing small businesses!
Dowd: your candidate went to London
and made a fool of himself
Madden: this election is not about
whether Romney is an idiot who
habitually offends our allies
Dowd: let’s hope
Madden: Mitt loves Israel!
Gibbs: how the fuck do you visit our
strongest ally and call them a bunch of tossers?
Madden: wait til he gets to Poland!
Gibbs: if you can’t smile and shake hands
without screwing it up you can’t be President
Dowd: Dan Senor practically
urged Israel to nuke Iran
Gibbs: Obama feels Israel has a right
to nuke Iran but if they do that they’re on their own
Madden: Israelis are kind of like
honorary Americans
Dowd: I suppose a bit
Madden: also Obama is weak and timid
and loves terrorists
Gibbs: Obama built an Iron Dome to protect Israel!
Dowd: Games of Domes!
Gibbs: you seize the Iron Dome or you die!
Dowd: economic growth is anemic
Gibbs: GOP policies crashed the economy
Dowd: that’s all in the past
Gibbs: he wants to cut taxes for
millionaires and billionaires
Dowd: excellent
Madden: it’s time for a change
Dowd: tell me why I should vote for Romney
Madden: he’s going to cut taxes and
drill for oil in Yellowstone
Dowd: politics has become so mean and negative
Gibbs: Mitt Romney is a prep school
bully and a habitual liar
Madden: Obama promised to made
Washington a nice place and has failed
Dowd: it’s tragic
Madden: we’re focused like a laser
on the economy by which I mean
building the Keystone Pipeline
Dowd: thanks for coming guys
[ break ]
Dowd: welcome panel -
amazingly the race is totally tied!
Will: Ohio is votes in October -
the peons are voting early
and it’s deplorable!
Dowd: interesting
Will: Obama keeps getting good news
and yet I still hate him
Brazile: of course you would oppose
people voting George
David Chalian: there is only one
swing voter left in America and he
doesn’t have proper ID
Dowd: wow
Chalian: Obama defined Romney
and Mitt let it happen
Dowd: oh noe what can we do?
Chalian: Mittens 20 will be released
at the Convention
Loesch: as a conservative I’m very
concerned that Obama will lose
Marcus: let’s not talk about gaffes -
they’re shallow and silly
Dowd: I’m glad you brought up gaffes
- let’s talk about them!
Brazile: Romney is a cretin
Loesch: even Piers Morgan endorsed Mitt Romney
Dowd: well I’m sold
Loesch: the trip to London went great
- he told the truth and offended some lefties
Chalian: Leave Mitt Romney alone!!!
Marcus: no one in Israel likes Obama
but the Israelis know a loser when they see one
Will: American Jews don’t like Israel
- the real support for Israel is with
American snake handlers
Chalian: Obama wrecked the economy!
Dowd: he did?
Chalian: I’m so excited for Obama to lose!
Will: we’re growing economically but not fast enough
Chalian: that is so true
Will: food prices are up because of environmentalists
Marcus: my favorite number this week
is that people disapprove of Obama
- god I love Romney campaign
Dowd: you really like Mitt that much?
Marcus: stop talking about Romney’s gaffes!
Loesch: Obama hates business!
Marcus: see - it’s out there! Obama is anti-business!
Obama hates America!
Will: Obama can’t explain Romney’s lies!
Dowd: is Barack Obama the worst
person in America?
Chalian: yes - he has made America a mean and nasty place
Will: true but Jefferson called Adams a poopyhead
Marcus: Americans are sick of lies -
also Obama is a communist
Dowd: um what
Marcus: the people deserve better -
however I will continue lying for money
Dowd: the Chick-Fil-A CEO says God mandated
we eat fried chicken on the go - also gays are evil
Loesch: he’s a Christian - of course he
hates gay people
Will: just like Obama six months ago
Marcus: I totally agree with all Republicans -
supporting gay rights is so repulsive
Chalian: liberals are just terrible people
Loesch: I eat gay-tainted food
Brazile: the first debate will totally
decide this election
Chalian: I’m soooo rooting for Romney
Marcus: who cares about debates?
Politics is a game!
Dowd: thanks for coming idiots
[ break ]
Karl: who should Romney pick for Vice President
Cheney: someone qualified -
in other words not Sarah Palin
Karl: tell me more Dick
Cheney: we have the fake list which a lie
and the real true short list
Karl: what about picking someone to
shore up support among women Hispanics
or another of the many groups who hate Romney
Cheney: that’s what John McCain did and frankly
picking a moron like Palin was big mistake
Dowd: but she’s so cute
Karl: not as cute and cuddly as Cheney
- he’s hilarious and adorable
Dowd: tell me more
Karl: in my interview with him he bashes Obama
and strangles a kitten
Dowd: I’m in love
Dowd: any inside tips on Romney’s Vice President?
Karl: don’t forget Paul Ryan - he’s a fighter!
Dowd: is the Romney campaign ready?
Karl: yes this time I swear they are!
Dowd: I believe you but sadly we’re out of time
- I could do this all day! Thanks for watching!
Cheney: fuckers
[ shoots tv ]
**************************************************
Matthew Dowd
Robert Gibbs (Adviser - Obama Campaign)
Kevin Madden (Adviser - Romney Campaign)
Donna Brazile
George Will
David Chalian
Dana Loesch
Jonathan Karl
Dick Cheney
********************************
Dowd: wow I declare the Presidential
race is dead even!
Audience: who could possibly have guessed
Gibbs: this election is a choice between a
painfully slow recovery and utter disaster
Madden: no it’s about whether Obama
sufficiently cleaned up the
Republican’s mess and he didn’t
Dowd: that makes sense
Madden: unemployment is high and
Obama is crushing small businesses!
Dowd: your candidate went to London
and made a fool of himself
Madden: this election is not about
whether Romney is an idiot who
habitually offends our allies
Dowd: let’s hope
Madden: Mitt loves Israel!
Gibbs: how the fuck do you visit our
strongest ally and call them a bunch of tossers?
Madden: wait til he gets to Poland!
Gibbs: if you can’t smile and shake hands
without screwing it up you can’t be President
Dowd: Dan Senor practically
urged Israel to nuke Iran
Gibbs: Obama feels Israel has a right
to nuke Iran but if they do that they’re on their own
Madden: Israelis are kind of like
honorary Americans
Dowd: I suppose a bit
Madden: also Obama is weak and timid
and loves terrorists
Gibbs: Obama built an Iron Dome to protect Israel!
Dowd: Games of Domes!
Gibbs: you seize the Iron Dome or you die!
Dowd: economic growth is anemic
Gibbs: GOP policies crashed the economy
Dowd: that’s all in the past
Gibbs: he wants to cut taxes for
millionaires and billionaires
Dowd: excellent
Madden: it’s time for a change
Dowd: tell me why I should vote for Romney
Madden: he’s going to cut taxes and
drill for oil in Yellowstone
Dowd: politics has become so mean and negative
Gibbs: Mitt Romney is a prep school
bully and a habitual liar
Madden: Obama promised to made
Washington a nice place and has failed
Dowd: it’s tragic
Madden: we’re focused like a laser
on the economy by which I mean
building the Keystone Pipeline
Dowd: thanks for coming guys
[ break ]
Dowd: welcome panel -
amazingly the race is totally tied!
Will: Ohio is votes in October -
the peons are voting early
and it’s deplorable!
Dowd: interesting
Will: Obama keeps getting good news
and yet I still hate him
Brazile: of course you would oppose
people voting George
David Chalian: there is only one
swing voter left in America and he
doesn’t have proper ID
Dowd: wow
Chalian: Obama defined Romney
and Mitt let it happen
Dowd: oh noe what can we do?
Chalian: Mittens 20 will be released
at the Convention
Loesch: as a conservative I’m very
concerned that Obama will lose
Marcus: let’s not talk about gaffes -
they’re shallow and silly
Dowd: I’m glad you brought up gaffes
- let’s talk about them!
Brazile: Romney is a cretin
Loesch: even Piers Morgan endorsed Mitt Romney
Dowd: well I’m sold
Loesch: the trip to London went great
- he told the truth and offended some lefties
Chalian: Leave Mitt Romney alone!!!
Marcus: no one in Israel likes Obama
but the Israelis know a loser when they see one
Will: American Jews don’t like Israel
- the real support for Israel is with
American snake handlers
Chalian: Obama wrecked the economy!
Dowd: he did?
Chalian: I’m so excited for Obama to lose!
Will: we’re growing economically but not fast enough
Chalian: that is so true
Will: food prices are up because of environmentalists
Marcus: my favorite number this week
is that people disapprove of Obama
- god I love Romney campaign
Dowd: you really like Mitt that much?
Marcus: stop talking about Romney’s gaffes!
Loesch: Obama hates business!
Marcus: see - it’s out there! Obama is anti-business!
Obama hates America!
Will: Obama can’t explain Romney’s lies!
Dowd: is Barack Obama the worst
person in America?
Chalian: yes - he has made America a mean and nasty place
Will: true but Jefferson called Adams a poopyhead
Marcus: Americans are sick of lies -
also Obama is a communist
Dowd: um what
Marcus: the people deserve better -
however I will continue lying for money
Dowd: the Chick-Fil-A CEO says God mandated
we eat fried chicken on the go - also gays are evil
Loesch: he’s a Christian - of course he
hates gay people
Will: just like Obama six months ago
Marcus: I totally agree with all Republicans -
supporting gay rights is so repulsive
Chalian: liberals are just terrible people
Loesch: I eat gay-tainted food
Brazile: the first debate will totally
decide this election
Chalian: I’m soooo rooting for Romney
Marcus: who cares about debates?
Politics is a game!
Dowd: thanks for coming idiots
[ break ]
Karl: who should Romney pick for Vice President
Cheney: someone qualified -
in other words not Sarah Palin
Karl: tell me more Dick
Cheney: we have the fake list which a lie
and the real true short list
Karl: what about picking someone to
shore up support among women Hispanics
or another of the many groups who hate Romney
Cheney: that’s what John McCain did and frankly
picking a moron like Palin was big mistake
Dowd: but she’s so cute
Karl: not as cute and cuddly as Cheney
- he’s hilarious and adorable
Dowd: tell me more
Karl: in my interview with him he bashes Obama
and strangles a kitten
Dowd: I’m in love
Dowd: any inside tips on Romney’s Vice President?
Karl: don’t forget Paul Ryan - he’s a fighter!
Dowd: is the Romney campaign ready?
Karl: yes this time I swear they are!
Dowd: I believe you but sadly we’re out of time
- I could do this all day! Thanks for watching!
Cheney: fuckers
[ shoots tv ]
**************************************************
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Meet The Press - July 22, 2012
Guests
Gov. Hickenlooper (D-CO)
Kate Snow
William Bratton
Rep. Carolyn McCarthy (D-NY)
Steve Schmidt
Michelle Rhee
David Brooks
*********************************
Gregory: wow - all politics shut down
because there was a mass killing in Colorado
Gregory: Governor what’s happening out there
Hickenlooper: we’re fighting back!
Gregory: good for you
Hickenlooper: we must translate our
anger into a renewed love of America
Gregory: what about the acts of heroism
Hickenlooper: they are so inspiring
Gregory: what about this loony shooter
Hickenlooper: he’s not cooperating
Gregory: there was a fast response
by police and other overpaid civil servants
Hickenlooper: yes thanks to 9/11 Americans
have developed a smooth response
to mindless acts of terror
Gregory: what was his motive
Hickenlooper: I have no idea Fluffy
Gregory: he had tear gas cannisters
two Glocks a shotgun and
an assault rifle
Hickenlooper: as is his right Constitutional right
Gregory: Mayor Bloomberg says
we need to limit guns in America
Hickenlooper: because of the Internet
diabolical terrorists will always
find a way to kill people
Gregory: what can we say to people to
make them enjoy the movie-going experience
Hickenlooper: Westerners are tough and
we will not let one psycho stop us from
exercising our right to pay $15 to see Batman
Gregory: what’s happening in the town
Snow: everyone is talking about
all the guys who saved their girlfriends
Gregory: what else
Snow: he had 30 IEDs in his apartment
Gregory: holy crap
Gregory: hi panelists -
lone gunmen are really scary
Bratton: indeed they are David
Gregory: Carolyn this must be very
traumatic for you - tell me all about it
McCarthy: these lone gunmen all
have one thing in common
Gregory: three names?
McCarthy: guns Fluffy
Gregory: his gun jammed
Chertoff: see - it could have been
much worse - stop whining America
Gregory: how should America
react to this attack
Chertoff: ignore the gun issue and
praise the cops and ordinary people
who risked their lives to stop the
guy with that firing doohicky
Gregory: he was building a fucking arsenal
Bratton: family and friends can help us
spot potential mass murderers -
if you see something say something
McCarthy: I see another guy with
a gun killing people
Gregory: Congressman Gohmert wonders
why those cowards in the movie
theater didn’t shoot back
McCarthy: indeed 50 people all shooting
at each in a dark smoke-filled theater
- sounds ideal
Bratton: he had four guns and was wearing a
bullet proof vest and body armor
- no civilian was gonna take him down
Gregory: we don’t need more laws
because he bought these guns legally
McCarthy: your logic is impeccable Fluffy
Chertoff: you can build bombs in a
kitchen so we don’t need gun control
Gregory: I’m sold
Chertoff: we just need to crack down
on muslim terrorists on the Internet
McCarthy: ignore the NRA!
Gregory: is our public discourse
too out of wack?
Chertoff: of course - it’s all the fault
of those darn bloggers
McCarthy: forget the weirdos on the Internet - Michelle Bachmann is certifiable and dangerous
Gregory: of course both sides do it
McCarthy: no they don’t Fluffy
Gregory: is America safe?
Bratton: yes it is - also these killings will continue
Gregory: they will?
Bratton: and idiot politicians will call for
more and more guns
Gregory: but these guns were purchased
legally so we don’t need more laws
Bratton: Fluffy you are a fucking genius
Gregory: what’s up panelists
Brooks: we must find mentally ill
people who slip through the cracks
- be they violent loners or in the
House of Representatives
Rhee: banning violent video games
is only part of the solution
Gregory: there is no debate on gun
control anymore is there
Shrum: not when even terrorists have
a right to buy a assault rifle
Gregory: that’s just common sense
Gregory: even Democrats say hey
he was building bombs so why even
bother with more laws
Schmidt: no one can take on the NRA
Gregory: according to polls Obama
is leading - this race could not
be any closer!
Shrum: yes but Obama leads
in the swing states
Schmidt: the good news for Romney is
that he’s running a terrible campaign
Gregory: Michelle please bash Obama for me
Rhee: there are too many high school drop outs
Gregory: that is true but Mitt Romney
is a vigorous corporate personal trainer
Brooks: Romney should not release
his taxes because I don’t care about that
- I care about how wonderful he is
Gregory: I’m with you Bobo
Brooks: he is such an amazing person
- I love him so much
Shrum: his tax returns probably show
he took a deduction for killing a hobo
Gregory: that could be
Shrum: also he wants to cut Medicare
Schmidt: no one has ever released
20 years of tax returns so why bother
releasing any
Gregory: Steve did you read all
Romney’s tax returns?
Schmidt: no I didn’t have time
to read 10,000 pages -
also I don’t speak Latin
Shrum: Latin?
Schmidt: they’re very complex returns
Gregory: you can tell us - was there
something really bad in there
Schmidt: I can say he is a
pretty decent human
Gregory: Michelle who should
be Vice President
Rhee: for balance Romney should
pick a human being
Brooks: we need a white man
to respond to Iranian threats
Gregory: the conventions are coming! squeeee!
Shrum: Pat Buchanan hurt the GOP in 1992
Schmidt: just pick anyone not named Palin
Brooks: Michelle Rhee is my hero
but we must never talk about education
Rhee: the American people want
to hear us bash teachers
Gregory: I can’t believe Penn State
took Joe Paterno’s statue down
Shrum: what the hell was it doing
there in the first place?
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
*****************************************
Gov. Hickenlooper (D-CO)
Kate Snow
William Bratton
Rep. Carolyn McCarthy (D-NY)
Steve Schmidt
Michelle Rhee
David Brooks
*********************************
Gregory: wow - all politics shut down
because there was a mass killing in Colorado
Gregory: Governor what’s happening out there
Hickenlooper: we’re fighting back!
Gregory: good for you
Hickenlooper: we must translate our
anger into a renewed love of America
Gregory: what about the acts of heroism
Hickenlooper: they are so inspiring
Gregory: what about this loony shooter
Hickenlooper: he’s not cooperating
Gregory: there was a fast response
by police and other overpaid civil servants
Hickenlooper: yes thanks to 9/11 Americans
have developed a smooth response
to mindless acts of terror
Gregory: what was his motive
Hickenlooper: I have no idea Fluffy
Gregory: he had tear gas cannisters
two Glocks a shotgun and
an assault rifle
Hickenlooper: as is his right Constitutional right
Gregory: Mayor Bloomberg says
we need to limit guns in America
Hickenlooper: because of the Internet
diabolical terrorists will always
find a way to kill people
Gregory: what can we say to people to
make them enjoy the movie-going experience
Hickenlooper: Westerners are tough and
we will not let one psycho stop us from
exercising our right to pay $15 to see Batman
Gregory: what’s happening in the town
Snow: everyone is talking about
all the guys who saved their girlfriends
Gregory: what else
Snow: he had 30 IEDs in his apartment
Gregory: holy crap
Gregory: hi panelists -
lone gunmen are really scary
Bratton: indeed they are David
Gregory: Carolyn this must be very
traumatic for you - tell me all about it
McCarthy: these lone gunmen all
have one thing in common
Gregory: three names?
McCarthy: guns Fluffy
Gregory: his gun jammed
Chertoff: see - it could have been
much worse - stop whining America
Gregory: how should America
react to this attack
Chertoff: ignore the gun issue and
praise the cops and ordinary people
who risked their lives to stop the
guy with that firing doohicky
Gregory: he was building a fucking arsenal
Bratton: family and friends can help us
spot potential mass murderers -
if you see something say something
McCarthy: I see another guy with
a gun killing people
Gregory: Congressman Gohmert wonders
why those cowards in the movie
theater didn’t shoot back
McCarthy: indeed 50 people all shooting
at each in a dark smoke-filled theater
- sounds ideal
Bratton: he had four guns and was wearing a
bullet proof vest and body armor
- no civilian was gonna take him down
Gregory: we don’t need more laws
because he bought these guns legally
McCarthy: your logic is impeccable Fluffy
Chertoff: you can build bombs in a
kitchen so we don’t need gun control
Gregory: I’m sold
Chertoff: we just need to crack down
on muslim terrorists on the Internet
McCarthy: ignore the NRA!
Gregory: is our public discourse
too out of wack?
Chertoff: of course - it’s all the fault
of those darn bloggers
McCarthy: forget the weirdos on the Internet - Michelle Bachmann is certifiable and dangerous
Gregory: of course both sides do it
McCarthy: no they don’t Fluffy
Gregory: is America safe?
Bratton: yes it is - also these killings will continue
Gregory: they will?
Bratton: and idiot politicians will call for
more and more guns
Gregory: but these guns were purchased
legally so we don’t need more laws
Bratton: Fluffy you are a fucking genius
Gregory: what’s up panelists
Brooks: we must find mentally ill
people who slip through the cracks
- be they violent loners or in the
House of Representatives
Rhee: banning violent video games
is only part of the solution
Gregory: there is no debate on gun
control anymore is there
Shrum: not when even terrorists have
a right to buy a assault rifle
Gregory: that’s just common sense
Gregory: even Democrats say hey
he was building bombs so why even
bother with more laws
Schmidt: no one can take on the NRA
Gregory: according to polls Obama
is leading - this race could not
be any closer!
Shrum: yes but Obama leads
in the swing states
Schmidt: the good news for Romney is
that he’s running a terrible campaign
Gregory: Michelle please bash Obama for me
Rhee: there are too many high school drop outs
Gregory: that is true but Mitt Romney
is a vigorous corporate personal trainer
Brooks: Romney should not release
his taxes because I don’t care about that
- I care about how wonderful he is
Gregory: I’m with you Bobo
Brooks: he is such an amazing person
- I love him so much
Shrum: his tax returns probably show
he took a deduction for killing a hobo
Gregory: that could be
Shrum: also he wants to cut Medicare
Schmidt: no one has ever released
20 years of tax returns so why bother
releasing any
Gregory: Steve did you read all
Romney’s tax returns?
Schmidt: no I didn’t have time
to read 10,000 pages -
also I don’t speak Latin
Shrum: Latin?
Schmidt: they’re very complex returns
Gregory: you can tell us - was there
something really bad in there
Schmidt: I can say he is a
pretty decent human
Gregory: Michelle who should
be Vice President
Rhee: for balance Romney should
pick a human being
Brooks: we need a white man
to respond to Iranian threats
Gregory: the conventions are coming! squeeee!
Shrum: Pat Buchanan hurt the GOP in 1992
Schmidt: just pick anyone not named Palin
Brooks: Michelle Rhee is my hero
but we must never talk about education
Rhee: the American people want
to hear us bash teachers
Gregory: I can’t believe Penn State
took Joe Paterno’s statue down
Shrum: what the hell was it doing
there in the first place?
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
*****************************************
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - July 22, 2012
July 22, 2012
Guests:
Pierre Thomas
Mayor Steven Hogan (Aurora, CO)
Gov. John Hickenlooper (D-CO)
Charles Ramsey (Chief Philadelphia police)
Dan Abrams
Dr. Richard Besser
**************************
Stephanopoulos: wow the Colorado
massacre is the worst shooting
in American history
Thomas: he planned this for months
Stephanopoulos: incredible
Thomas: he was like a mad scientist
villain from a movie
Stephanopoulos: he bought a lot of
guns and ammo
Thomas: he could by tear gas and
assault rifles and experts are saying
nothing can ever be done about that
Stephanopoulos: why did he do it
Hogan: I don’t know
Stephanopoulos: your cops are angry
Hogan: he booby trapped his apartment
just to kill first responders
Stephanopoulos: you call him a terrorist
Hickenlooper: he wanted to create fear
Stephanopoulos: how are you coping
Hogan: we can’t let him win!
Stephanopoulos: it’s a good thing the
killing wasn’t much worse
Hickenlooper: there was great heroism
Stephanopoulos: impressive
Hickenlooper: it shines a light and lifts spirits
Stephanopoulos: how are the victims doing
Hogan: they are recovering from
being shot with a military grade
machine gun - so not so good
Stephanopoulos: Mayor Bloomberg
called for less guns while others have
said we need more guns
Hickenlooper: if he didn’t buy guns
he would have gone into that movie
theatre and punched or stabbed people
Stephanopoulos: no one knew the
suspect was crazy
Hogan: no he seemed perfectly normal
Hickenlooper: if we don’t all go
see Batman the terrorists will win!
Stephanopoulos: what do you want
to hear from the President?
Hogan: it means a lot to us that
he’s coming
Stephanopoulos: how is America overreacting
Charles Ramsey: we are stepping up
security at movie theatres which
of course is totally pointless
Stephanopoulos: I like it
Ramsey: Columbine, Fort Hood, Virginia Tech, Aurora - how many more do we need
Stephanopoulos: if only someone in the
movie theatre had a gun they could
have shot the killer
Ramsey: an untrained person shooting
a guy with body armor with tear gas
in a dark theater - what could go wrong?
Stephanopoulos: he passed a background check
Ramsey: gun violence occurs every day
- it’s a fucking nightmare!
Stephanopoulos: what would you do
Ramsey: how about mandatory gun
registration and no assault weapons
Stephanopoulos: will anything ever be done?
Thomas: we will guard movie theatres for
a few days and then throw up our hands
and massacres will happen again
Stephanopoulos: hey why don’t more
terrorists
shoot movie theatres?
Thomas: they would but those concession
prices are outrageous
Abrams: his defense attorney is going to
the movie theatre first
Stephanopoulos: why is that
Abrams: maybe he wants to find out how
The Dark Knight ends
Stephanopoulos: is he insane
Abrams: he just a lawyer
Stephanopoulos: I meant the suspect
Abrams: a jury will not accept that he didn’t
know killing people was wrong
Dr. Richard Besser: as a doctor I can say that
he was probably not ‘crazy’
Stephanopoulos: he wasn’t a psycho loner
Abrams: he can be crazy but legally sane
Stephanopoulos: heck you can be crazy
and be elected to Congress
************************************
Guests:
Pierre Thomas
Mayor Steven Hogan (Aurora, CO)
Gov. John Hickenlooper (D-CO)
Charles Ramsey (Chief Philadelphia police)
Dan Abrams
Dr. Richard Besser
**************************
Stephanopoulos: wow the Colorado
massacre is the worst shooting
in American history
Thomas: he planned this for months
Stephanopoulos: incredible
Thomas: he was like a mad scientist
villain from a movie
Stephanopoulos: he bought a lot of
guns and ammo
Thomas: he could by tear gas and
assault rifles and experts are saying
nothing can ever be done about that
Stephanopoulos: why did he do it
Hogan: I don’t know
Stephanopoulos: your cops are angry
Hogan: he booby trapped his apartment
just to kill first responders
Stephanopoulos: you call him a terrorist
Hickenlooper: he wanted to create fear
Stephanopoulos: how are you coping
Hogan: we can’t let him win!
Stephanopoulos: it’s a good thing the
killing wasn’t much worse
Hickenlooper: there was great heroism
Stephanopoulos: impressive
Hickenlooper: it shines a light and lifts spirits
Stephanopoulos: how are the victims doing
Hogan: they are recovering from
being shot with a military grade
machine gun - so not so good
Stephanopoulos: Mayor Bloomberg
called for less guns while others have
said we need more guns
Hickenlooper: if he didn’t buy guns
he would have gone into that movie
theatre and punched or stabbed people
Stephanopoulos: no one knew the
suspect was crazy
Hogan: no he seemed perfectly normal
Hickenlooper: if we don’t all go
see Batman the terrorists will win!
Stephanopoulos: what do you want
to hear from the President?
Hogan: it means a lot to us that
he’s coming
Stephanopoulos: how is America overreacting
Charles Ramsey: we are stepping up
security at movie theatres which
of course is totally pointless
Stephanopoulos: I like it
Ramsey: Columbine, Fort Hood, Virginia Tech, Aurora - how many more do we need
Stephanopoulos: if only someone in the
movie theatre had a gun they could
have shot the killer
Ramsey: an untrained person shooting
a guy with body armor with tear gas
in a dark theater - what could go wrong?
Stephanopoulos: he passed a background check
Ramsey: gun violence occurs every day
- it’s a fucking nightmare!
Stephanopoulos: what would you do
Ramsey: how about mandatory gun
registration and no assault weapons
Stephanopoulos: will anything ever be done?
Thomas: we will guard movie theatres for
a few days and then throw up our hands
and massacres will happen again
Stephanopoulos: hey why don’t more
terrorists
shoot movie theatres?
Thomas: they would but those concession
prices are outrageous
Abrams: his defense attorney is going to
the movie theatre first
Stephanopoulos: why is that
Abrams: maybe he wants to find out how
The Dark Knight ends
Stephanopoulos: is he insane
Abrams: he just a lawyer
Stephanopoulos: I meant the suspect
Abrams: a jury will not accept that he didn’t
know killing people was wrong
Dr. Richard Besser: as a doctor I can say that
he was probably not ‘crazy’
Stephanopoulos: he wasn’t a psycho loner
Abrams: he can be crazy but legally sane
Stephanopoulos: heck you can be crazy
and be elected to Congress
************************************
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Meet The Press - July 15, 2012
Guests:
Ed Gillespie
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL)
Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ)
Bob Costas
*********************************
Gregory: OMG Obama keeps attacking
Mitt Romney just for outsourcing jobs
Gregory: Ed did if Romney left Bain in 1999
why do SEC documents say he was
President and CEO
Gillespie: Romney left to save the
Olympics and America!
Gregory: so was he responsible for
decisions made after 1999 or not?
Gillespie: he retired retroactively!
Gregory: that’s hilarious
Gillespie: that’s the best we’ve got
Gregory: does he stand by decisions made at Bain for outsourcing jobs?
Gillespie: he had nothing to do with those terrible decisions which were made by Bain which is a wonderful company
Gregory: I see
Gillespie: also offshoring never happened and it’s sad that Obama would imply it ever happened although Romeny didn’t do it and it was
a good thing if he did do it
Gregory: does he believe offshoring is good?
Gillespie: Obama made Romney send jobs to China because he hates businesses
Gregory: I see
Gillespie: Obama is a European socialist forcing businesses to send jobs to Finland
Gregory: is offshoring good or not?
Gillespie: Businesses must be free to do anything they want!
Gregory: should we make Olympic uniforms in China
Gillespie: We should stand by our athletes
Gregory: are you having trouble
understanding my questions?
Gillespie: Obama caused the recession!
Gregory: Romeny said he had ‘no comment’
on the China-made uniforms
Gillespie: Romney will call China a
currency manipulator!
Gregory: why release only one tax return?
Gillespie: he’s very transparent -
he’s practically invisible!
Gregory: Romney told Ted Kennedy he should release more tax returns
Gillespie: Obama wrecked the economy!
Gregory: okay
Gillespie: also Obama is a corrupt
black guy taking payoffs
Gregory: we’ll leave it there
Gregory: Obama accused Romney of
committing a felony - that’s so mean!
Durbin: the SEC documents say he was
sole CEO and Romney says he had no role
Gregory: but the word felony is unfair
under the terms of Village Journalism
Durbin: what the fuck is Romney hiding
- he’s running from Bain and won’t
release any taxes?
Kyl: the Washington Post says Obama is fibbing!
Gregory: see I told you
Kyl: Obama caused jobs to go to China
Gregory: are you serious
Kyl: yes - Obama’s health care plan
sends jobs to Canada!
Gregory: should Olympic uniforms be
made in China?
Kyl: the government forces jobs out of America because liberals won’t lower our labor standards
Durbin: our tax policies encourage moving
jobs to other countries
Gregory: really
Durbin: we need a President who will
create jobs here in America and not
weird foreign countries
Gregory: should we keep the Bush tax cuts?
Durbin: yes - for everyone but the top 2%
Gregory: but the rich are such nice people!!
Durbin: well we need the money
to cut the deficit
Kyl: that’s true but the last people we
should increase taxes on are our
job creators
Durbin: it’s been more than 10 years
- when are they are going to start
creating those jobs?
Kyl: any day now - I swear
Gregory: will the election resolve this
issue once and for all?
Kyl: I believe the GOP will keep the
Senate which will put pressure on Obama
Gregory: so you think Obama
will be reelected
Kyl: let’s get real - of course
Gregory: so panel the issue du jour
is offshoring
Murphy: the cynicism from Obama is so sad
Rosen: Romney ran on his business
experience and Obama is talking about it!
Woodward: SEC documents?
No rational person believes those!
Gregory: true
Woodward: but Cayman Islands accounts
- that’s just weird
Norquist: Obama caused a decline in
America since WWII
Gregory: he did?
Norquist: indeed - his grandfather planned
all this while riding with Patton
Jealous: Obama hasn’t created jobs
and Romney is an unfeeling robot
Rosen: Obama has tried to create jobs
and the GOP in Congress keep blocking him
Gregory: maybe
Rosen: what if other Americans hid
their money in Switzerland??
Gregory: if ?
Murphy: it’s so sad that Obama is trying
to win this election by pointing
out Romney is a jerk
Rosen: the GOP are preventing progress!
Woodward: partisan squabbling iz bad!
Jealous: I miss Jack Kemp
Gregory: Jack Kemp is dead dude
Jealous: Romney should act like he
cares about the poor 99%
Rosen: do you have any other ideas?
Murphy: Romney has to act like
he’s proud of Bain Capital instead
of cowering like an equity bunny rabbit
Rosen: Obama needs to pivot to
be the inspirational cool guy
we all remember
Gregory: Obama says he need to
tell a better story about his successes
Woodward: Obama and the GOP have
equally failed to cut Social Security
Murphy: Obama is a terrible President
and Romney is a terrible human
Gregory: what about your no-taxes pledge?
Norquist: all bow down before me!
Gregory: let’s not talk about Presidential politics
- let’s talk about Presidential books
Rosen: Nora Ephron's book is wonderful
Gregory: fancypants!
Woodward: you can never go wrong
reliving WWII
Jealous: most people don’t know that Bob Marley helped write the Declaration of Independence
Norquist: I’ve mostly been reading kid’s books
about tax monsters under the bed
Gregory: Bob talk to me about the
tragedy of Joe Paterno
Costas: he was an absolutely revered football
coach but he enabled a child molestor
Gregory: but he was such a good guy since he ran
a clean and ethical athletic program except for
the lawbreaking and child abuse
Costas: his players usually graduated from the school and didn’t often cheat in class
Gregory: my god that is so admirable
Costas: however power corrupts and they built a fucking statue to Joe Paterno
Gregory: even so - how do you jump from sports hero worship to covering up for child rape?
Costas: the NCAA will give the school the death penalty - meaning not the actual death penalty
but they can’t play football for a year
Gregory: it’s death!
Costas: hey they brought this on themselves
Gregory: indeed it’s shocking
Costas: America cannot tolerate corruption outside the Catholic Church, Wall Street, Government
and journalism - this is college sports
- something really important!
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
***************************************
Ed Gillespie
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL)
Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ)
Bob Costas
*********************************
Gregory: OMG Obama keeps attacking
Mitt Romney just for outsourcing jobs
Gregory: Ed did if Romney left Bain in 1999
why do SEC documents say he was
President and CEO
Gillespie: Romney left to save the
Olympics and America!
Gregory: so was he responsible for
decisions made after 1999 or not?
Gillespie: he retired retroactively!
Gregory: that’s hilarious
Gillespie: that’s the best we’ve got
Gregory: does he stand by decisions made at Bain for outsourcing jobs?
Gillespie: he had nothing to do with those terrible decisions which were made by Bain which is a wonderful company
Gregory: I see
Gillespie: also offshoring never happened and it’s sad that Obama would imply it ever happened although Romeny didn’t do it and it was
a good thing if he did do it
Gregory: does he believe offshoring is good?
Gillespie: Obama made Romney send jobs to China because he hates businesses
Gregory: I see
Gillespie: Obama is a European socialist forcing businesses to send jobs to Finland
Gregory: is offshoring good or not?
Gillespie: Businesses must be free to do anything they want!
Gregory: should we make Olympic uniforms in China
Gillespie: We should stand by our athletes
Gregory: are you having trouble
understanding my questions?
Gillespie: Obama caused the recession!
Gregory: Romeny said he had ‘no comment’
on the China-made uniforms
Gillespie: Romney will call China a
currency manipulator!
Gregory: why release only one tax return?
Gillespie: he’s very transparent -
he’s practically invisible!
Gregory: Romney told Ted Kennedy he should release more tax returns
Gillespie: Obama wrecked the economy!
Gregory: okay
Gillespie: also Obama is a corrupt
black guy taking payoffs
Gregory: we’ll leave it there
Gregory: Obama accused Romney of
committing a felony - that’s so mean!
Durbin: the SEC documents say he was
sole CEO and Romney says he had no role
Gregory: but the word felony is unfair
under the terms of Village Journalism
Durbin: what the fuck is Romney hiding
- he’s running from Bain and won’t
release any taxes?
Kyl: the Washington Post says Obama is fibbing!
Gregory: see I told you
Kyl: Obama caused jobs to go to China
Gregory: are you serious
Kyl: yes - Obama’s health care plan
sends jobs to Canada!
Gregory: should Olympic uniforms be
made in China?
Kyl: the government forces jobs out of America because liberals won’t lower our labor standards
Durbin: our tax policies encourage moving
jobs to other countries
Gregory: really
Durbin: we need a President who will
create jobs here in America and not
weird foreign countries
Gregory: should we keep the Bush tax cuts?
Durbin: yes - for everyone but the top 2%
Gregory: but the rich are such nice people!!
Durbin: well we need the money
to cut the deficit
Kyl: that’s true but the last people we
should increase taxes on are our
job creators
Durbin: it’s been more than 10 years
- when are they are going to start
creating those jobs?
Kyl: any day now - I swear
Gregory: will the election resolve this
issue once and for all?
Kyl: I believe the GOP will keep the
Senate which will put pressure on Obama
Gregory: so you think Obama
will be reelected
Kyl: let’s get real - of course
Gregory: so panel the issue du jour
is offshoring
Murphy: the cynicism from Obama is so sad
Rosen: Romney ran on his business
experience and Obama is talking about it!
Woodward: SEC documents?
No rational person believes those!
Gregory: true
Woodward: but Cayman Islands accounts
- that’s just weird
Norquist: Obama caused a decline in
America since WWII
Gregory: he did?
Norquist: indeed - his grandfather planned
all this while riding with Patton
Jealous: Obama hasn’t created jobs
and Romney is an unfeeling robot
Rosen: Obama has tried to create jobs
and the GOP in Congress keep blocking him
Gregory: maybe
Rosen: what if other Americans hid
their money in Switzerland??
Gregory: if ?
Murphy: it’s so sad that Obama is trying
to win this election by pointing
out Romney is a jerk
Rosen: the GOP are preventing progress!
Woodward: partisan squabbling iz bad!
Jealous: I miss Jack Kemp
Gregory: Jack Kemp is dead dude
Jealous: Romney should act like he
cares about the poor 99%
Rosen: do you have any other ideas?
Murphy: Romney has to act like
he’s proud of Bain Capital instead
of cowering like an equity bunny rabbit
Rosen: Obama needs to pivot to
be the inspirational cool guy
we all remember
Gregory: Obama says he need to
tell a better story about his successes
Woodward: Obama and the GOP have
equally failed to cut Social Security
Murphy: Obama is a terrible President
and Romney is a terrible human
Gregory: what about your no-taxes pledge?
Norquist: all bow down before me!
Gregory: let’s not talk about Presidential politics
- let’s talk about Presidential books
Rosen: Nora Ephron's book is wonderful
Gregory: fancypants!
Woodward: you can never go wrong
reliving WWII
Jealous: most people don’t know that Bob Marley helped write the Declaration of Independence
Norquist: I’ve mostly been reading kid’s books
about tax monsters under the bed
Gregory: Bob talk to me about the
tragedy of Joe Paterno
Costas: he was an absolutely revered football
coach but he enabled a child molestor
Gregory: but he was such a good guy since he ran
a clean and ethical athletic program except for
the lawbreaking and child abuse
Costas: his players usually graduated from the school and didn’t often cheat in class
Gregory: my god that is so admirable
Costas: however power corrupts and they built a fucking statue to Joe Paterno
Gregory: even so - how do you jump from sports hero worship to covering up for child rape?
Costas: the NCAA will give the school the death penalty - meaning not the actual death penalty
but they can’t play football for a year
Gregory: it’s death!
Costas: hey they brought this on themselves
Gregory: indeed it’s shocking
Costas: America cannot tolerate corruption outside the Catholic Church, Wall Street, Government
and journalism - this is college sports
- something really important!
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
***************************************
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - July 15, 2012
Guests:
Mayor Rahm Emmanuel (D-Chicago)
Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH)
Matthew Dowd
Georg Will
Donna Brazile
James Carville
Mary Matalin
**********************
Stephanopoulos: OMG let’s play the Romney ad calling Obama a liar!
[ plays ad ]
Stephanopoulos: good morning Rahm -
Mitt Romney said Obama should apologize
for saying he shipped jobs overseas
Emmanuel: screw him!
Stephanopoulos: Romney says he
wasn’t involved with Bain after 1999
Emmanuel: he swore under oath in
SEC documents he was the sole President and CEO
Stephanopoulos: you can use words to mean anything
Emmanuel: you can’t be President and take
3 years off to play sports you know
Stephanopoulos: he was running the Olympics
Emmanuel: if he cant’ sand up to
Stephanie Cutter how can he stand up to Vladimir Putin
- that guy will kill you
Stephanopoulos: but do you really think Romney committed a felony?!?
Emmanuel: well he signed the SEC documents
and denied what is in them
Stephanopoulos: those were just legal formalities
Emmanuel: Mitt should man up and admit
he sent American jobs to other countries
Stephanopoulos: strong words
Emmanuel: hey Mitt - stop fucking whining!
Stephanopoulos: Romney says he released
1 tax return which is enough to prove
he’s rich and clueless
Emmanuel: he gave John McCain 23 years
of tax returns and McCain took one look at picked Sarah Palin
Stephanopoulos: what could be
in those tax returns?
Emmanuel: we already know about he
hid money in the Cayman Islands - it could be anything
Stephanopoulos: why is it bad to have
foreign bank accounts
Emmanuel: where are his loyalties
- to the USA or Luxembourg?
Stephanopoulos: Romney says these are
desperate attacks to avoid talking about the economy
Emmanuel: Obama saved 1 million manufacturing
jobs and Romney would have let them go bankrupt
Stephanopoulos: Romney also
says the stimulus funded foreign companies
Emmanuel: fuck that shit -
the stimulus created millions of American jobs!
Stephanopoulos: but some went overseas
Emmanuel: who’s gonna fight for
the middle class - Barack Hussein Obama
or the King of Bain?
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming Rahm
Stephanopoulos: Kelly what about
offshoring at Bain
Ayotte: it’s so sad that Obama would
attack his opponent at a time when he needs
to rise above politics and let the guy with
Swiss bank accounts run the country
Stephanopoulos: why release only 1 tax return?
Ayotte: the American people aren’t
interested where Mitt hides his money -
they care that unemployment is high
Stephanopoulos: so exactly what is
Mitt Romney hiding?
Ayotte: Obama didn’t cut the debt!
Stephanopoulos: that’s all you’ve got?
Ayotte: Obama won’t cut spending also he’s cutting too much spending from the military!
Stephanopoulos: SEC filings say Romney was
sole CEO and was paid $100,000 -
how could he have no involvement with Bain?
Ayotte: that’s old news from Friday
Stephanopoulos: what is your explanation?
Ayotte: this has all been addressed
Stephanopoulos: just how has it been addressed?
Ayotte: Obama is raising taxes!
Stephanopoulos: what is Mitt Romney’s
economic plan?
Ayotte: he’s going to cut taxes for the rich
and raise them for the poor
Stephanopoulos: what else?
Ayotte: Romney has the experience to
turn this economy around!
Stephanopoulos: what experience is that?
Ayotte: at Bain Capital of course
Stephanopoulos: where he had no responsibility?
Ayotte: right - this has all been addressed
Stephanopoulos: so you keep saying
Ayotte: just make his President and
stop asking so many questions dammit!
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming Kelly
Stephanopoulos: Romney says Obama
is lying and Obama says Romney lost U.S. jobs
- who is winning?
Will: good lord - Obama is beating this
hapless twit in a big way
Brazile: LOL
Will: in 1994 I was talking with this weird fop
called Mitt Romney and I thought I hope we
never nominate someone this out of touch
during a financial crisis
Matalin: people don’t care that he has a
Swiss bank account and it hasn’t hurt Romney
Stephanopoulos: really
Matalin: most people I know have an account in the Cayman Islands
Carville: Bain was going to help Romney
and now it’s toxic - deal with it
Dowd: Neither candidate wants to talk
about substance - so my fear is that
this my be a negative campaign
Stephanopoulos: OH NOES!
Stephanopoulos: what about his tax returns?
Dowd: of course Romney’s tax returns must have something bad - but he’s just arrogant
Will: Romney clearly calculated that the bad publicity from not releasing his tax returns was not as bad as hiding them so yeah - there must be something really terrible in those returns
Stephanopoulos: oh my god - thanks for coming
Sunday, July 08, 2012
Host: Terry Moran
Guests:
Gov. Martin O’Malley (D-MD)
Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA)
Steven Rattner
Mort Zuckerman
Gwen Ifill
George Will
*************************************
Moran: the economy is pretty sluggish Marty
O’Malley: we’re creating jobs -
more than George Bush ever did!
Moran: so you say
O’Malley: to create even more jobs we need to
get rid of this do-nothing Congress
Jindal: we’ve lost jobs since Obama was
sworn in OMG
O’Malley: yes mostly right after he took the oath
Jindal: Bill Clinton and Albert Einstein both say Obama shouldn’t be reelected!
Moran: Karl Rove says Barack Obama
caused the recession in 2007
O’Malley: Mitt Romney lost jobs in Massachusetts - why would elect him President?
Jindal: he’s handsome and successful and turned Massachusetts into a socialist paradise that would destroy America if we tried it nationally
O’Malley: a bunch of foreign Swiss bank accounts isn’t going to rescue America
Moran: But Obama hasn’t created jobs
O’Malley: Mitt is going to give the richest
people tax cuts so they can move their money
to the Cayman Islands
Moran: Bobby are tax cuts and deregulation
the answer to our problems?
Jindal: the national debt is very high!
Moran: we all know that
Jindal: Romney wants a flatter tax
O’Malley: you mean he wants to raise taxes
on the poor and cut them for the rich
Jindal: he also wants to build a giant oil pipeline across America so it can be sold to the Chinese
Moran: what is his plan to boost the economy?
Jindal: cut spending and take away
the right to health care
Moran: what else
Jindal: Romeny demands spending cuts and
also attack Obama for cutting Medicare
O’Malley: we can’t afford to go back to an
insane Tea Party government or the
GOP will destroy America
Jindal: George Bush was President 8 years ago!
Moran: um what
Jindal: Democrat want to run against Richard Nixon - well he’s dead - I think
Moran: what’s the deal with Romney’s
tax shelters in Bermuda?
Jindal: who among us doesn’t hide our vast wealth in secret bank accounts, in Luxembourg, Zurich
and the Caribbean?
O’Malley: most people in Baltimore keep a
rainy day account in Vaduz
Moran: yes I saw that in The Wire
Jindal: Obama promised he would cut
the deficit in half!
O’Malley: right like Republicans always cut the deficit
Jindal: Obama would make us like Europe!
O’Malley: good - maybe Mitt Romney’s
will come back here then
Moran: what’s the relevance to his
offshore accounts?
O’Malley: Mitt Romney bet against America
Jindal: Romney will go to war with China!
Moran: well that’s something to look forward to
[ break ]
Moran: where are the jobs
Will: we are in a “growth recession”
Zuckerman: we are dead broke and totally fucked
Rattner: the stimulus worked
Moran: this is clearly all Obama’s fault
Ifill: voters care about one thing - ‘what about me’
Dionne: of course the stimulus should have been bigger - but we cut government jobs and we added government jobs under Ronald Reagan
Will: pshaw!
Dionne: if the economy is so bad why is Obama winning? Because the GOP is toxic and Romney is a weird out-of-touch rich guy
Will: the stimulus was a religious act and like all religions Keynesism sucks
Rattner: that’s crap George - that money went to rescue state jobs
Zuckerman: those so-called jobs were
giveaways to unions
Ifill: both sides do it blah blah blah
Moran: I agree with your opinion on
both sides blah blah blah
Rattner: This is the worst Congress ever
Zuckerman: the President controls every single thing in this country
Will: Ronald Reagan proves that at some
point the entire nation will wake up and decide to vote for Mitt Romney
Dionne: Let me tell you something George --
Obama is not Jimmy Carter and Mitt is
no Ronald Reagan
Moran: should Mitt vacation on an exclusive
rich-guy compound?
Will: Romney’s best argument that he’s a good businessman and Obama is trying to make
that a bad thing
Rattner: I’m in private equity too - but who the hell has a $100 million offshore IRA??
Zuckerman: I think Mitt Romney can relate very well to problems of the average billionaire like me
Ifill: both sides blah blah blah
Dionne: they went after John Kerry for wind-surfing so yes secret bank accounts in
Monaco and Phuket are an issue
Zuckerman: Obama is such a terrible leader he
won’t even meet with Mitch McConnell!
Dionne: he has a policy against meeting with
people who make his skin crawl
Will: Obama won’t talk about health care
Ifill: actually for the first time he’s
defending Obamacare
Dionne: yes but weirdly Romney seems to have no position on health care
Moran: to be fair Romney has no position
on any thing
Zuckerman: Obamacare cost two million jobs - it will have a devastating effect on the non-sick wealthy!
Rattner: Romney can’t run a Presidential campaign - how the hell can he run the Executive branch
Will: that’s a good point - god what a loser
Dionne: Romney is trapped between the Tea Party and wanting to win this thing
Rattner: that’s not fair - Romney’s own ideas
are all terrible
Moran: is Chris Christie too fat to be Vice President
Zuckerman: it’s down to two exciting choices -
Rob Portman or Tim Pawlenty
Rattner: as long as he does not choose a
complete idiot he’ll be fine
McCain: oh now you tell me!
Dionne: Portman is the anti-Palin -
steady, accomplished and able to speak
in coherent sentences
Will: I have the seen the future of the Republican Party and it is Bobby Jindal and Paul Ryan
Moran: dear god
Moran: hey it’s really hot out -
is climate change real?
Dionne: it’s not just heat - it’s non-stop extreme weather and it’s dangerous!
Will: it’s summer [ yawn ]
Dionne: what a surprise - the denialist
corporate whore is heard from
Will: it will get cold in the winter so nothing is real
Dionne: the planet is dying and this bow-tie wearing twit airily dismisses it
Will: it’s hot - get over it
Rattner: I despair for the future of humanity
Ifill: voters don’t care about “science” or “reality” they’re just hot and bothered
Will: baseball is the most popular sport in America!
Moran: except for football
Dionne: and basketball
Will: harrumph
Moran: and that’s another episode of
This Week on ABC
***********************************
Guests:
Gov. Martin O’Malley (D-MD)
Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA)
Steven Rattner
Mort Zuckerman
Gwen Ifill
George Will
*************************************
Moran: the economy is pretty sluggish Marty
O’Malley: we’re creating jobs -
more than George Bush ever did!
Moran: so you say
O’Malley: to create even more jobs we need to
get rid of this do-nothing Congress
Jindal: we’ve lost jobs since Obama was
sworn in OMG
O’Malley: yes mostly right after he took the oath
Jindal: Bill Clinton and Albert Einstein both say Obama shouldn’t be reelected!
Moran: Karl Rove says Barack Obama
caused the recession in 2007
O’Malley: Mitt Romney lost jobs in Massachusetts - why would elect him President?
Jindal: he’s handsome and successful and turned Massachusetts into a socialist paradise that would destroy America if we tried it nationally
O’Malley: a bunch of foreign Swiss bank accounts isn’t going to rescue America
Moran: But Obama hasn’t created jobs
O’Malley: Mitt is going to give the richest
people tax cuts so they can move their money
to the Cayman Islands
Moran: Bobby are tax cuts and deregulation
the answer to our problems?
Jindal: the national debt is very high!
Moran: we all know that
Jindal: Romney wants a flatter tax
O’Malley: you mean he wants to raise taxes
on the poor and cut them for the rich
Jindal: he also wants to build a giant oil pipeline across America so it can be sold to the Chinese
Moran: what is his plan to boost the economy?
Jindal: cut spending and take away
the right to health care
Moran: what else
Jindal: Romeny demands spending cuts and
also attack Obama for cutting Medicare
O’Malley: we can’t afford to go back to an
insane Tea Party government or the
GOP will destroy America
Jindal: George Bush was President 8 years ago!
Moran: um what
Jindal: Democrat want to run against Richard Nixon - well he’s dead - I think
Moran: what’s the deal with Romney’s
tax shelters in Bermuda?
Jindal: who among us doesn’t hide our vast wealth in secret bank accounts, in Luxembourg, Zurich
and the Caribbean?
O’Malley: most people in Baltimore keep a
rainy day account in Vaduz
Moran: yes I saw that in The Wire
Jindal: Obama promised he would cut
the deficit in half!
O’Malley: right like Republicans always cut the deficit
Jindal: Obama would make us like Europe!
O’Malley: good - maybe Mitt Romney’s
will come back here then
Moran: what’s the relevance to his
offshore accounts?
O’Malley: Mitt Romney bet against America
Jindal: Romney will go to war with China!
Moran: well that’s something to look forward to
[ break ]
Moran: where are the jobs
Will: we are in a “growth recession”
Zuckerman: we are dead broke and totally fucked
Rattner: the stimulus worked
Moran: this is clearly all Obama’s fault
Ifill: voters care about one thing - ‘what about me’
Dionne: of course the stimulus should have been bigger - but we cut government jobs and we added government jobs under Ronald Reagan
Will: pshaw!
Dionne: if the economy is so bad why is Obama winning? Because the GOP is toxic and Romney is a weird out-of-touch rich guy
Will: the stimulus was a religious act and like all religions Keynesism sucks
Rattner: that’s crap George - that money went to rescue state jobs
Zuckerman: those so-called jobs were
giveaways to unions
Ifill: both sides do it blah blah blah
Moran: I agree with your opinion on
both sides blah blah blah
Rattner: This is the worst Congress ever
Zuckerman: the President controls every single thing in this country
Will: Ronald Reagan proves that at some
point the entire nation will wake up and decide to vote for Mitt Romney
Dionne: Let me tell you something George --
Obama is not Jimmy Carter and Mitt is
no Ronald Reagan
Moran: should Mitt vacation on an exclusive
rich-guy compound?
Will: Romney’s best argument that he’s a good businessman and Obama is trying to make
that a bad thing
Rattner: I’m in private equity too - but who the hell has a $100 million offshore IRA??
Zuckerman: I think Mitt Romney can relate very well to problems of the average billionaire like me
Ifill: both sides blah blah blah
Dionne: they went after John Kerry for wind-surfing so yes secret bank accounts in
Monaco and Phuket are an issue
Zuckerman: Obama is such a terrible leader he
won’t even meet with Mitch McConnell!
Dionne: he has a policy against meeting with
people who make his skin crawl
Will: Obama won’t talk about health care
Ifill: actually for the first time he’s
defending Obamacare
Dionne: yes but weirdly Romney seems to have no position on health care
Moran: to be fair Romney has no position
on any thing
Zuckerman: Obamacare cost two million jobs - it will have a devastating effect on the non-sick wealthy!
Rattner: Romney can’t run a Presidential campaign - how the hell can he run the Executive branch
Will: that’s a good point - god what a loser
Dionne: Romney is trapped between the Tea Party and wanting to win this thing
Rattner: that’s not fair - Romney’s own ideas
are all terrible
Moran: is Chris Christie too fat to be Vice President
Zuckerman: it’s down to two exciting choices -
Rob Portman or Tim Pawlenty
Rattner: as long as he does not choose a
complete idiot he’ll be fine
McCain: oh now you tell me!
Dionne: Portman is the anti-Palin -
steady, accomplished and able to speak
in coherent sentences
Will: I have the seen the future of the Republican Party and it is Bobby Jindal and Paul Ryan
Moran: dear god
Moran: hey it’s really hot out -
is climate change real?
Dionne: it’s not just heat - it’s non-stop extreme weather and it’s dangerous!
Will: it’s summer [ yawn ]
Dionne: what a surprise - the denialist
corporate whore is heard from
Will: it will get cold in the winter so nothing is real
Dionne: the planet is dying and this bow-tie wearing twit airily dismisses it
Will: it’s hot - get over it
Rattner: I despair for the future of humanity
Ifill: voters don’t care about “science” or “reality” they’re just hot and bothered
Will: baseball is the most popular sport in America!
Moran: except for football
Dionne: and basketball
Will: harrumph
Moran: and that’s another episode of
This Week on ABC
***********************************
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