Sunday, July 08, 2012

Host: Terry Moran
Gov. Martin O’Malley (D-MD)
Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA)
Steven Rattner
Mort Zuckerman
Gwen Ifill
George Will
Moran: the economy is pretty sluggish Marty

O’Malley: we’re creating jobs -
more than George Bush ever did!

Moran: so you say

O’Malley: to create even more jobs we need to
get rid of this do-nothing Congress

Jindal: we’ve lost jobs since Obama was
sworn in OMG

O’Malley: yes mostly right after he took the oath

Jindal: Bill Clinton and Albert Einstein both say Obama shouldn’t be reelected!

Moran: Karl Rove says Barack Obama
caused the recession in 2007

O’Malley: Mitt Romney lost jobs in Massachusetts - why would elect him President?

Jindal: he’s handsome and successful and turned Massachusetts into a socialist paradise that would destroy America if we tried it nationally

O’Malley: a bunch of foreign Swiss bank accounts isn’t going to rescue America

Moran: But Obama hasn’t created jobs

O’Malley: Mitt is going to give the richest
people tax cuts so they can move their money
to the Cayman Islands

Moran: Bobby are tax cuts and deregulation
the answer to our problems?

Jindal: the national debt is very high!

Moran: we all know that

Jindal: Romney wants a flatter tax

O’Malley: you mean he wants to raise taxes
on the poor and cut them for the rich

Jindal: he also wants to build a giant oil pipeline across America so it can be sold to the Chinese

Moran: what is his plan to boost the economy?

Jindal: cut spending and take away
the right to health care

Moran: what else

Jindal: Romeny demands spending cuts and
also attack Obama for cutting Medicare

O’Malley: we can’t afford to go back to an
insane Tea Party government or the
GOP will destroy America

Jindal: George Bush was President 8 years ago!

Moran: um what

Jindal: Democrat want to run against Richard Nixon - well he’s dead - I think

Moran: what’s the deal with Romney’s
tax shelters in Bermuda?

Jindal: who among us doesn’t hide our vast wealth in secret bank accounts, in Luxembourg, Zurich
and the Caribbean?

O’Malley: most people in Baltimore keep a
rainy day account in Vaduz

Moran: yes I saw that in The Wire

Jindal: Obama promised he would cut
the deficit in half!

O’Malley: right like Republicans always cut the deficit

Jindal: Obama would make us like Europe!

O’Malley: good - maybe Mitt Romney’s
will come back here then

Moran: what’s the relevance to his
offshore accounts?

O’Malley: Mitt Romney bet against America

Jindal: Romney will go to war with China!

Moran: well that’s something to look forward to

[ break ]

Moran: where are the jobs

Will: we are in a “growth recession”

Zuckerman: we are dead broke and totally fucked

Rattner: the stimulus worked

Moran: this is clearly all Obama’s fault

Ifill: voters care about one thing - ‘what about me’

Dionne: of course the stimulus should have been bigger - but we cut government jobs and we added government jobs under Ronald Reagan

Will: pshaw!

Dionne: if the economy is so bad why is Obama winning? Because the GOP is toxic and Romney is a weird out-of-touch rich guy

Will: the stimulus was a religious act and like all religions Keynesism sucks

Rattner: that’s crap George - that money went to rescue state jobs

Zuckerman: those so-called jobs were
giveaways to unions

Ifill: both sides do it blah blah blah

Moran: I agree with your opinion on
both sides blah blah blah

Rattner: This is the worst Congress ever

Zuckerman: the President controls every single thing in this country

Will: Ronald Reagan proves that at some
point the entire nation will wake up and decide to vote for Mitt Romney

Dionne: Let me tell you something George --
Obama is not Jimmy Carter and Mitt is
no Ronald Reagan

Moran: should Mitt vacation on an exclusive
rich-guy compound?

Will: Romney’s best argument that he’s a good businessman and Obama is trying to make
that a bad thing

Rattner: I’m in private equity too - but who the hell has a $100 million offshore IRA??

Zuckerman: I think Mitt Romney can relate very well to problems of the average billionaire like me

Ifill: both sides blah blah blah

Dionne: they went after John Kerry for wind-surfing so yes secret bank accounts in
Monaco and Phuket are an issue

Zuckerman: Obama is such a terrible leader he
won’t even meet with Mitch McConnell!

Dionne: he has a policy against meeting with
people who make his skin crawl

Will: Obama won’t talk about health care

Ifill: actually for the first time he’s
defending Obamacare

Dionne: yes but weirdly Romney seems to have no position on health care

Moran: to be fair Romney has no position
on any thing

Zuckerman: Obamacare cost two million jobs - it will have a devastating effect on the non-sick wealthy!

Rattner: Romney can’t run a Presidential campaign - how the hell can he run the Executive branch

Will: that’s a good point - god what a loser

Dionne: Romney is trapped between the Tea Party and wanting to win this thing

Rattner: that’s not fair - Romney’s own ideas
are all terrible

Moran: is Chris Christie too fat to be Vice President

Zuckerman: it’s down to two exciting choices -
Rob Portman or Tim Pawlenty

Rattner: as long as he does not choose a
complete idiot he’ll be fine

McCain: oh now you tell me!

Dionne: Portman is the anti-Palin -
steady, accomplished and able to speak
in coherent sentences

Will: I have the seen the future of the Republican Party and it is Bobby Jindal and Paul Ryan

Moran: dear god

Moran: hey it’s really hot out -
is climate change real?

Dionne: it’s not just heat - it’s non-stop extreme weather and it’s dangerous!

Will: it’s summer [ yawn ]

Dionne: what a surprise - the denialist
corporate whore is heard from

Will: it will get cold in the winter so nothing is real

Dionne: the planet is dying and this bow-tie wearing twit airily dismisses it

Will: it’s hot - get over it

Rattner: I despair for the future of humanity

Ifill: voters don’t care about “science” or “reality” they’re just hot and bothered

Will: baseball is the most popular sport in America!

Moran: except for football

Dionne: and basketball

Will: harrumph

Moran: and that’s another episode of
This Week on ABC


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