Guests:
Bill Daley (White House Chief of Staff)
Jonathan Karl
Donna Brazile
Al Hunt
George Will
******************************
Amanpour: omg America might default
on its debt
Karl: Boehner wants to cut spending
and Democrats want to raise taxes
Daley: it’s time to make the really tough
decisions and bring sanity to Washington DC
Amanpour: good luck with that
Daley: the American people are very
worried about the debt
Amanpour: what is Obama’s prediction?
Daley: Pain
Amanpour: ouch
Daley: sorry
Amanpour: Obama wants to cut $4 trillion
Daley: that will send a message to the
world to please lend us more money
Amanpour: oh good
Daley: Obama came to Washington to
do big things like pay the bills Republicans
built up over 8 years
Amanpour: but he came late to the negotiations
Daley: he was waiting for the GOP to
come to their senses
Amanpour: well that explains it
Amanpour: will you make any cuts to
Social Security or Medicare?
Daley: Medicare will run out of money in 5 years!
Amanpour: oh noe
Daley: people want certainty
Amanpour: does that mean you will
cut entitlements?
Daley: yes - because we can’t kick the can anymore!
Amanpour: what else?
Daley: extend the payroll tax cut
Amanpour: ok
Daley: this debt was run up over decades
so we must solve it in the next 8 hours
Amanpour: what’s the rush?
Daley: we must send the message to
international bankers that America is not dead yet!
Amanpour: the jobs news is all bad
Daley: companies are not hiring because Congress
keeps kicking the can on debt
Amanpour: you’re kidding me right
Daley: A business may need a new
employee but how can it hire knowing
Medicare needs more funding?!
Amanpour: but businesses are making
huge profits right now
Daley: we need businesses to get
more involved in Washington policy making
Amanpour: truly our problem is lack of
corporate lobbying
Daley: when Bush left office we were
losing 800,000 jobs per month
Amanpour: but that was 2 years ago
Daley: We have to cut the debt!
Amanpour: what’s the deal with Pakistan
Daley: ever since we found out Osama bin Laden
lived comfortably near a Pakistan
military base we’ve be re-thinking giving
them bags and bags of money
Amanpour: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Amanpour: welcome to Armageddon!
Will: Nuclear winter, global warming, default
- who gives a shit
Karl: any impartial observer knows that
we must raise taxes and cut entitlements
Brazile: the debt ceiling is not the
time to have a big budget debate -
Moody’s is getting moody!!
Hunt: eventually they will have to
raise taxes and cut entitlements
Amanpour: why is that?
Hunt: why do people rob banks?
Amanpour: because that’s where the money is
Amanpour: why do banks rob people?
Hunt: because that’s where the real big money is
Karl: there are dozens of lunatic Republicans
so therefore the Democrats must give up
everything what they want
Will: Reagan and Bush gave Obama a
surplus and he blew it
Karl: Eric Cantor will veto any deal that makes sense
Amanpour: the American people seem to want
jobs more than debt reduction
Hunt: ya gotta have Entitlements & Taxes!
Amanpour: but that would worsen the recession
Hunt: we should do responsible
things but do them later
Will: Obama should add 700,000
jobs per month like Bush did
Brazile: state governments keep laying
people off you skinny white twerp!
Will: Obama proposed a tax cut - I hate those!
Amanpour: thanks for coming everyone
*************************************
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Meet The Press - June 26, 2011
Guests:
Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ)
Sen. Jack Reed (D-RI)
Sen. Jim Webb (D-VA)
Katty Kay
Matt Bai
David Brooks
******************************
Gregory: New Jersey just cut pension and
health care benefits for state government employees
- congrats Governor Christie!
Christie: thanks Fluffy
Gregory: Gov. could you work your
cost-cutting magic in Washington?
Christie: you’ve got to get three men
in a room and wrestle until the biggest guy wins
Gregory: interesting
Christie: Obama is too laid-back -
he needs to throw his weight around
Gregory: what about raising taxes?
Christie: be prepared for a shock -
people in New Jersey prefer
lower taxes over higher taxes
Gregory: holy shit!
Christie: no really
Gregory: has the Tea Party gone completely insane?
Christie: look it’s common sense -
as soon as a Democrat became President
the debt became a very very very important issue
Gregory: I see
Christie: this country is careening to
disaster over the debt!
Gregory: how did you succeed in
New Jersey but Washington can’t get a deal done
Christie: it’s all those fucking demagogues
- I would never do that
Gregory: you’re such a softie
Christie: I am cuddly
Gregory: do you hate unions
Christie: we’re helping unions by
saving their benefits
Gregory: give me your expertise on Afghanistan
Christie: I’m against nation-building
Gregory: the Federal Reserve says we
may be cutting spending too much which
would cause another recession
Christie: no we aren’t because the
United States is very big country
Gregory: we tried GOP policies and
the middle class is still hurting
Christie: but businesses are hiring in
New Jersey because we have certainty over taxes
Gregory: which GOP Presidential candidate
will win your highly coveted endorsement
Christie: I’m not sure there are so many different
crazies to choose from
Gregory: what about my favorite
Michele Bachmann?
Christie: she seems a little crazy to me
Gregory: you look for bigness in politicians
Christie: people want a politician to
look them in the eye and wag their finger at them
Gregory: what about the
Pledge of Abortion Allegiance
Christie: I’m anti-abortion except when I’m not
Gregory: what about gay marriage?
Christie: I’m not a fan of gay people
kissing and all that icky stuff
Gregory: you’re a tough-talking,
no-nonsense asshole
Christie: fuck you Fluffy
Gregory: you were mean to teacher recently
Christie: She questioned my ability to
run the state’s public schools - how dare
she ask me a personal question me like that
Gregory: you cultivate the image of a jerk
Christie: I’m loveable and sweet and
not blow-dried you bastard
Gregory: why are going to Iowa?
Christie: to brag about big things
Gregory: will accept an offer to run as Vice President
Christie: c’mon you’re not that stupid are you Fluffy
Gregory: I might be
Christie: I’m a nice guy - just don’t
question me about irrelevant things
like being a husband and a father
Gregory: why would you make a good President?
Christie: I’m a husband and a father
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: Did Barack Obama make a
political decision to pull troops out of
Afghanistan instead of doing what is
best for America?
Reed: what unadulterated bullshit
Gregory: In the view of many Obama hates America
Webb: you are welcome to kiss my ass Fluffy
Gregory: but the Generals want more troops
Webb: They always do you idiot
Gregory: so should we have endless war?
Webb: China is expanding and we
must stop those Orientals!
Gregory: Liberals want to end the war
in Afghanistan now - that reminds me -
what is the mission there?
Reed: the mission in Afghanistan
is to leave Afghanistan
Gregory: but I still don’t understand
why Obama doesn’t end this wonderful war
Webb: we have to pull out slowly so
the Taliban doesn’t see us leaving
Gregory: what will happen there after we leave
Reed: there will be a nuclear war
between Pakistan and the Indians
Gregory: that’s interesting
Gregory: some say walking away and
hoping for the best will lead to
Sharia law in Oklahoma
Webb: actually keeping US troops in other
countries creates terrorism
Gregory: what about Libya?
Reed: we want to support the mission but
rebuke Obama for not asking Congress’s permission
Webb: we’re addicted to putting US troops
in desert lands as peacekeepers!
Gregory: thanks for coming dudes
[ break ]
Gregory: there is great criticism of President Obama
Brooks: from who - beside you
Gregory: Saint Christie who is wonderful
Brooks: Obama is a convenor - he trumpets
us into battle like Miles Davis
Gregory: that’s a great metaphor
because they’re both black
Brooks: are they?
Gregory: I hate Obama because he
compromises and achieves stuff
Kay: the surge was a compromise that
failed and now he’s taking troops out too soon
- we didn’t gain anything except Bin Laden
which doesn’t count
Bai: Budget negotiations are in secret
which puzzles people
Brooks: Jesus Christie would solve
America’s budget problems
Gregory: Obama’s Jedi mind tricks
don’t work on him
Brooks: both parties think they win
if the economy crashes
Kay: Worldwide lenders are freaking out
Gregory: we don’t rule the world
like we did after World War Two
which gives me a sad
Brooks: Darn those shallow politicians
Gregory: hee hee there is great buzz about Giuliani!
Brooks: I say this with love -
you need therapy David
Bai: Iowa may not necessarily get to
decide our next President
Gregory: what!?
Bai: it’s a possibility
Gregory: Huntsmann said his kids
can’t believe he’s really running for President
Audience: they’re not they only one
Kay: he’s running as the Thinking Man’s
Republican but that’s very small group
Brooks: I love this guy
Bai: the GOP primary is not as
monolithic as people think
Brooks: he’s unusual and in a
GOP primary that is really saying something
Gregory: what about Sarah Palin?
Kay: she’s beginning to look even crazier -
I didn’t think that was possible
Gregory: big news this morning was
made five minutes ago when Sen. Jim Webb
said we should invade countries to rescue Americans or not at all
Brooks: Obama is a big non-leading
convenor except when he doesn’t
consult anyone about war
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
*********************************
Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ)
Sen. Jack Reed (D-RI)
Sen. Jim Webb (D-VA)
Katty Kay
Matt Bai
David Brooks
******************************
Gregory: New Jersey just cut pension and
health care benefits for state government employees
- congrats Governor Christie!
Christie: thanks Fluffy
Gregory: Gov. could you work your
cost-cutting magic in Washington?
Christie: you’ve got to get three men
in a room and wrestle until the biggest guy wins
Gregory: interesting
Christie: Obama is too laid-back -
he needs to throw his weight around
Gregory: what about raising taxes?
Christie: be prepared for a shock -
people in New Jersey prefer
lower taxes over higher taxes
Gregory: holy shit!
Christie: no really
Gregory: has the Tea Party gone completely insane?
Christie: look it’s common sense -
as soon as a Democrat became President
the debt became a very very very important issue
Gregory: I see
Christie: this country is careening to
disaster over the debt!
Gregory: how did you succeed in
New Jersey but Washington can’t get a deal done
Christie: it’s all those fucking demagogues
- I would never do that
Gregory: you’re such a softie
Christie: I am cuddly
Gregory: do you hate unions
Christie: we’re helping unions by
saving their benefits
Gregory: give me your expertise on Afghanistan
Christie: I’m against nation-building
Gregory: the Federal Reserve says we
may be cutting spending too much which
would cause another recession
Christie: no we aren’t because the
United States is very big country
Gregory: we tried GOP policies and
the middle class is still hurting
Christie: but businesses are hiring in
New Jersey because we have certainty over taxes
Gregory: which GOP Presidential candidate
will win your highly coveted endorsement
Christie: I’m not sure there are so many different
crazies to choose from
Gregory: what about my favorite
Michele Bachmann?
Christie: she seems a little crazy to me
Gregory: you look for bigness in politicians
Christie: people want a politician to
look them in the eye and wag their finger at them
Gregory: what about the
Pledge of Abortion Allegiance
Christie: I’m anti-abortion except when I’m not
Gregory: what about gay marriage?
Christie: I’m not a fan of gay people
kissing and all that icky stuff
Gregory: you’re a tough-talking,
no-nonsense asshole
Christie: fuck you Fluffy
Gregory: you were mean to teacher recently
Christie: She questioned my ability to
run the state’s public schools - how dare
she ask me a personal question me like that
Gregory: you cultivate the image of a jerk
Christie: I’m loveable and sweet and
not blow-dried you bastard
Gregory: why are going to Iowa?
Christie: to brag about big things
Gregory: will accept an offer to run as Vice President
Christie: c’mon you’re not that stupid are you Fluffy
Gregory: I might be
Christie: I’m a nice guy - just don’t
question me about irrelevant things
like being a husband and a father
Gregory: why would you make a good President?
Christie: I’m a husband and a father
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: Did Barack Obama make a
political decision to pull troops out of
Afghanistan instead of doing what is
best for America?
Reed: what unadulterated bullshit
Gregory: In the view of many Obama hates America
Webb: you are welcome to kiss my ass Fluffy
Gregory: but the Generals want more troops
Webb: They always do you idiot
Gregory: so should we have endless war?
Webb: China is expanding and we
must stop those Orientals!
Gregory: Liberals want to end the war
in Afghanistan now - that reminds me -
what is the mission there?
Reed: the mission in Afghanistan
is to leave Afghanistan
Gregory: but I still don’t understand
why Obama doesn’t end this wonderful war
Webb: we have to pull out slowly so
the Taliban doesn’t see us leaving
Gregory: what will happen there after we leave
Reed: there will be a nuclear war
between Pakistan and the Indians
Gregory: that’s interesting
Gregory: some say walking away and
hoping for the best will lead to
Sharia law in Oklahoma
Webb: actually keeping US troops in other
countries creates terrorism
Gregory: what about Libya?
Reed: we want to support the mission but
rebuke Obama for not asking Congress’s permission
Webb: we’re addicted to putting US troops
in desert lands as peacekeepers!
Gregory: thanks for coming dudes
[ break ]
Gregory: there is great criticism of President Obama
Brooks: from who - beside you
Gregory: Saint Christie who is wonderful
Brooks: Obama is a convenor - he trumpets
us into battle like Miles Davis
Gregory: that’s a great metaphor
because they’re both black
Brooks: are they?
Gregory: I hate Obama because he
compromises and achieves stuff
Kay: the surge was a compromise that
failed and now he’s taking troops out too soon
- we didn’t gain anything except Bin Laden
which doesn’t count
Bai: Budget negotiations are in secret
which puzzles people
Brooks: Jesus Christie would solve
America’s budget problems
Gregory: Obama’s Jedi mind tricks
don’t work on him
Brooks: both parties think they win
if the economy crashes
Kay: Worldwide lenders are freaking out
Gregory: we don’t rule the world
like we did after World War Two
which gives me a sad
Brooks: Darn those shallow politicians
Gregory: hee hee there is great buzz about Giuliani!
Brooks: I say this with love -
you need therapy David
Bai: Iowa may not necessarily get to
decide our next President
Gregory: what!?
Bai: it’s a possibility
Gregory: Huntsmann said his kids
can’t believe he’s really running for President
Audience: they’re not they only one
Kay: he’s running as the Thinking Man’s
Republican but that’s very small group
Brooks: I love this guy
Bai: the GOP primary is not as
monolithic as people think
Brooks: he’s unusual and in a
GOP primary that is really saying something
Gregory: what about Sarah Palin?
Kay: she’s beginning to look even crazier -
I didn’t think that was possible
Gregory: big news this morning was
made five minutes ago when Sen. Jim Webb
said we should invade countries to rescue Americans or not at all
Brooks: Obama is a big non-leading
convenor except when he doesn’t
consult anyone about war
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
*********************************
This Week - June 26, 2011
Guests:
Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-SC)
Anita Dunn
Chrysta Freeland
George Will
******************************
Amanpour: wow there’s all-time record
flooding in North Dakota - clearly god is angry
that New York legalized gay marriage
Audience: woot
Amanpour: Also Romney and Bachmann
are tied-up in Iowa and the government
will run out of money in August
Amanpour: Mitch will you crash the
world economy because you refuse to
close tax loopholes for rich people?
McConnell: borrow-and-spend politics are bad!
Amanpour: does that include Reagan,
Bush and Bush II?
McConnell: look Democrats and Republicans
agree that people like higher spending
and lower taxes
Amanpour: that is true
McConnell: damm right it is Diane
Amanpour: how about limiting tax
deductions for corporate jets?
McConnell: Christine I have tried to explain
to you that a tax hike like that is just not
possible in Washington DC today
Amanpour: if you say so
McConnell: we must cut entitlements!
Amanpour: going back to those luxury jets-
McConnell: raising taxes on corporate jets
would ruin this otherwise flourishing economy
Amanpour: what else is going on?
McConnell: we must destroy Medicare
in order to save it
Amanpour: what else do you propose?
McConnell: we must do whatever will
impress Moody’s and Standard & Poors
Amanpour: what can actually
pass the Congress?
McConnell: we can agree to cut a
billion dollars from Medicare
Amanpour: what other great ideas
do you have?
McConnell: a Constitutional amendment
to balance the budget
Amanpour: sounds like you’re
making great progress
McConnell: oh sure -
we’re debating all kinds of crazy ideas
Amanpour: could default cause a
worldwide depression?
McConnell: you know what would really
impress worldwide lenders - if we put
all old people on an ice floe
Amanpour: but you voted to cut the
tax break for ethanol
McConnell: Obama is big spender -
we need to be like Reagan and the Bushes
and be really really big spenders!
Amanpour: Jim the GOP has ruled out
tax increases so what can you do?
Clyburn: end tax gifts to rich oil companies -
is not a tax hike it’s closing loopholes!
Amanpour: but those poor oil executives
Clyburn: the GOP also wants to make
Medicaid recipients pay thousands more -
how is that fair?
Amanpour: what if you are on Medicaid
but also have a Gulfstream?
Clyburn: raising taxes has never
been on the table!
Amanpour: why not?
Clyburn: people hate high taxes -
they just want a fair low tax rate
Amanpour: so what’s the solution?
Clyburn: it’s time for the Republicans and
Democrats in Congress to agree that they can’t
accomplish anything and let the President just do it
Amanpour: I see
Clyburn: it’s very bipartisan to shuck all
responsibility and let Obama take all the blame
Amanpour: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Amanpour: George Will can Obama save us all?
Will: the Balanced Budget amendment
will revolutionize America by finally making
raising taxes on rich people impossible
Karl: the elderly will soon start getting
letters that the GOP wants to shut the
government down over tax breaks for
wealthy corporations
Dunn: Obama has the pulpit but he’s not a bully
Amanpour: that much is clear
Dunn: if we default it will be the biggest
disaster for American since Bush was President
Amanpour: oh my
Freeland: liberals like Broadway Theater
and conservatives like Political Theater
Amanpour: makes sense
Freeland: if the US defaults there will be a
global economic crash that will make 2008
look like a gay pride parade
Amanpour: Romney and Bachmann are tied
Will: Rick Perry may fill that hole
Amanpour: what makes Perry so wonderful?
Will: he created jobs like Mitt
but loves non-gay fetuses like Michele
Karl: don’t forget Bachmann is from Iowa
Audience: she was Born This Whey
Dunn: the energy in the GOP is split between
with the Values Wackos and Budget Crazies
Freeland: Jon Huntsmann is an expert
on the Chinese Communist Central Committee
Will: well that should play well in the
Republican primary
Amanpour: thanks for coming everyone
**************************************
Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-SC)
Anita Dunn
Chrysta Freeland
George Will
******************************
Amanpour: wow there’s all-time record
flooding in North Dakota - clearly god is angry
that New York legalized gay marriage
Audience: woot
Amanpour: Also Romney and Bachmann
are tied-up in Iowa and the government
will run out of money in August
Amanpour: Mitch will you crash the
world economy because you refuse to
close tax loopholes for rich people?
McConnell: borrow-and-spend politics are bad!
Amanpour: does that include Reagan,
Bush and Bush II?
McConnell: look Democrats and Republicans
agree that people like higher spending
and lower taxes
Amanpour: that is true
McConnell: damm right it is Diane
Amanpour: how about limiting tax
deductions for corporate jets?
McConnell: Christine I have tried to explain
to you that a tax hike like that is just not
possible in Washington DC today
Amanpour: if you say so
McConnell: we must cut entitlements!
Amanpour: going back to those luxury jets-
McConnell: raising taxes on corporate jets
would ruin this otherwise flourishing economy
Amanpour: what else is going on?
McConnell: we must destroy Medicare
in order to save it
Amanpour: what else do you propose?
McConnell: we must do whatever will
impress Moody’s and Standard & Poors
Amanpour: what can actually
pass the Congress?
McConnell: we can agree to cut a
billion dollars from Medicare
Amanpour: what other great ideas
do you have?
McConnell: a Constitutional amendment
to balance the budget
Amanpour: sounds like you’re
making great progress
McConnell: oh sure -
we’re debating all kinds of crazy ideas
Amanpour: could default cause a
worldwide depression?
McConnell: you know what would really
impress worldwide lenders - if we put
all old people on an ice floe
Amanpour: but you voted to cut the
tax break for ethanol
McConnell: Obama is big spender -
we need to be like Reagan and the Bushes
and be really really big spenders!
Amanpour: Jim the GOP has ruled out
tax increases so what can you do?
Clyburn: end tax gifts to rich oil companies -
is not a tax hike it’s closing loopholes!
Amanpour: but those poor oil executives
Clyburn: the GOP also wants to make
Medicaid recipients pay thousands more -
how is that fair?
Amanpour: what if you are on Medicaid
but also have a Gulfstream?
Clyburn: raising taxes has never
been on the table!
Amanpour: why not?
Clyburn: people hate high taxes -
they just want a fair low tax rate
Amanpour: so what’s the solution?
Clyburn: it’s time for the Republicans and
Democrats in Congress to agree that they can’t
accomplish anything and let the President just do it
Amanpour: I see
Clyburn: it’s very bipartisan to shuck all
responsibility and let Obama take all the blame
Amanpour: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Amanpour: George Will can Obama save us all?
Will: the Balanced Budget amendment
will revolutionize America by finally making
raising taxes on rich people impossible
Karl: the elderly will soon start getting
letters that the GOP wants to shut the
government down over tax breaks for
wealthy corporations
Dunn: Obama has the pulpit but he’s not a bully
Amanpour: that much is clear
Dunn: if we default it will be the biggest
disaster for American since Bush was President
Amanpour: oh my
Freeland: liberals like Broadway Theater
and conservatives like Political Theater
Amanpour: makes sense
Freeland: if the US defaults there will be a
global economic crash that will make 2008
look like a gay pride parade
Amanpour: Romney and Bachmann are tied
Will: Rick Perry may fill that hole
Amanpour: what makes Perry so wonderful?
Will: he created jobs like Mitt
but loves non-gay fetuses like Michele
Karl: don’t forget Bachmann is from Iowa
Audience: she was Born This Whey
Dunn: the energy in the GOP is split between
with the Values Wackos and Budget Crazies
Freeland: Jon Huntsmann is an expert
on the Chinese Communist Central Committee
Will: well that should play well in the
Republican primary
Amanpour: thanks for coming everyone
**************************************
Meet The Press - June 26, 2011
Guests:
Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ)
Sen. Jack Reed (D-RI)
Sen. Jim Webb (D-VA)
Katty Kay
Matt Bai
David Brooks
******************************
Gregory: New Jersey just cut pension and
health care benefits for state government employees
- congrats Governor Christie!
Christie: thanks Fluffy
Gregory: Gov. could you work your
cost-cutting magic in Washington?
Christie: you’ve got to get three men
in a room and wrestle until the biggest guy wins
Gregory: interesting
Christie: Obama is too laid-back -
he needs to throw his weight around
Gregory: what about raising taxes?
Christie: be prepared for a shock -
people in New Jersey prefer
lower taxes over higher taxes
Gregory: holy shit!
Christie: no really
Gregory: has the Tea Party gone completely insane?
Christie: look it’s common sense -
as soon as a Democrat became President
the debt became a very very very important issue
Gregory: I see
Christie: this country is careening to
disaster over the debt!
Gregory: how did you succeed in
New Jersey but Washington can’t get a deal done
Christie: it’s all those fucking demagogues
- I would never do that
Gregory: you’re such a softie
Christie: I am cuddly
Gregory: do you hate unions
Christie: we’re helping unions by
saving their benefits
Gregory: give me your expertise on Afghanistan
Christie: I’m against nation-building
Gregory: the Federal Reserve says we
may be cutting spending too much which
would cause another recession
Christie: no we aren’t because the
United States is very big country
Gregory: we tried GOP policies and
the middle class is still hurting
Christie: but businesses are hiring in
New Jersey because we have certainty over taxes
Gregory: which GOP Presidential candidate
will win your highly coveted endorsement
Christie: I’m not sure there are so many different
crazies to choose from
Gregory: what about my favorite
Michele Bachmann?
Christie: she seems a little crazy to me
Gregory: you look for bigness in politicians
Christie: people want a politician to
look them in the eye and wag their finger at them
Gregory: what about the
Pledge of Abortion Allegiance
Christie: I’m anti-abortion except when I’m not
Gregory: what about gay marriage?
Christie: I’m not a fan of gay people
kissing and all that icky stuff
Gregory: you’re a tough-talking,
no-nonsense asshole
Christie: fuck you Fluffy
Gregory: you were mean to teacher recently
Christie: She questioned my ability to
run the state’s public schools - how dare
she ask me a personal question me like that
Gregory: you cultivate the image of a jerk
Christie: I’m loveable and sweet and
not blow-dried you bastard
Gregory: why are going to Iowa?
Christie: to brag about big things
Gregory: will accept an offer to run as Vice President
Christie: c’mon you’re not that stupid are you Fluffy
Gregory: I might be
Christie: I’m a nice guy - just don’t
question me about irrelevant things
like being a husband and a father
Gregory: why would you make a good President?
Christie: I’m a husband and a father
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: Did Barack Obama make a
political decision to pull troops out of
Afghanistan instead of doing what is
best for America?
Reed: what unadulterated bullshit
Gregory: In the view of many Obama hates America
Webb: you are welcome to kiss my ass Fluffy
Gregory: but the Generals want more troops
Webb: They always do you idiot
Gregory: so should we have endless war?
Webb: China is expanding and we
must stop those Orientals!
Gregory: Liberals want to end the war
in Afghanistan now - that reminds me -
what is the mission there?
Reed: the mission in Afghanistan
is to leave Afghanistan
Gregory: but I still don’t understand
why Obama doesn’t end this wonderful war
Webb: we have to pull out slowly so
the Taliban doesn’t see us leaving
Gregory: what will happen there after we leave
Reed: there will be a nuclear war
between Pakistan and the Indians
Gregory: that’s interesting
Gregory: some say walking away and
hoping for the best will lead to
Sharia law in Oklahoma
Webb: actually keeping US troops in other
countries creates terrorism
Gregory: what about Libya?
Reed: we want to support the mission but
rebuke Obama for not asking Congress’s permission
Webb: we’re addicted to putting US troops
in desert lands as peacekeepers!
Gregory: thanks for coming dudes
[ break ]
Gregory: there is great criticism of President Obama
Brooks: from who - beside you
Gregory: Saint Christie who is wonderful
Brooks: Obama is a convenor - he trumpets
us into battle like Miles Davis
Gregory: that’s a great metaphor
because they’re both black
Brooks: are they?
Gregory: I hate Obama because he
compromises and achieves stuff
Kay: the surge was a compromise that
failed and now he’s taking troops out too soon
- we didn’t gain anything except Bin Laden
which doesn’t count
Bai: Budget negotiations are in secret
which puzzles people
Brooks: Jesus Christie would solve
America’s budget problems
Gregory: Obama’s Jedi mind tricks
don’t work on him
Brooks: both parties think they win
if the economy crashes
Kay: Worldwide lenders are freaking out
Gregory: we don’t rule the world
like we did after World War Two
which gives me a sad
Brooks: Darn those shallow politicians
Gregory: hee hee there is great buzz about Giuliani!
Brooks: I say this with love -
you need therapy David
Bai: Iowa may not necessarily get to
decide our next President
Gregory: what!?
Bai: it’s a possibility
Gregory: Huntsmann said his kids
can’t believe he’s really running for President
Audience: they’re not they only one
Kay: he’s running as the Thinking Man’s
Republican but that’s very small group
Brooks: I love this guy
Bai: the GOP primary is not as
monolithic as people think
Brooks: he’s unusual and in a
GOP primary that is really saying something
Gregory: what about Sarah Palin?
Kay: she’s beginning to look even crazier -
I didn’t think that was possible
Gregory: big news this morning was
made five minutes ago when Sen. Jim Webb
said we should invade countries to rescue Americans or not at all
Brooks: Obama is a big non-leading
convenor except when he doesn’t
consult anyone about war
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
*********************************
Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ)
Sen. Jack Reed (D-RI)
Sen. Jim Webb (D-VA)
Katty Kay
Matt Bai
David Brooks
******************************
Gregory: New Jersey just cut pension and
health care benefits for state government employees
- congrats Governor Christie!
Christie: thanks Fluffy
Gregory: Gov. could you work your
cost-cutting magic in Washington?
Christie: you’ve got to get three men
in a room and wrestle until the biggest guy wins
Gregory: interesting
Christie: Obama is too laid-back -
he needs to throw his weight around
Gregory: what about raising taxes?
Christie: be prepared for a shock -
people in New Jersey prefer
lower taxes over higher taxes
Gregory: holy shit!
Christie: no really
Gregory: has the Tea Party gone completely insane?
Christie: look it’s common sense -
as soon as a Democrat became President
the debt became a very very very important issue
Gregory: I see
Christie: this country is careening to
disaster over the debt!
Gregory: how did you succeed in
New Jersey but Washington can’t get a deal done
Christie: it’s all those fucking demagogues
- I would never do that
Gregory: you’re such a softie
Christie: I am cuddly
Gregory: do you hate unions
Christie: we’re helping unions by
saving their benefits
Gregory: give me your expertise on Afghanistan
Christie: I’m against nation-building
Gregory: the Federal Reserve says we
may be cutting spending too much which
would cause another recession
Christie: no we aren’t because the
United States is very big country
Gregory: we tried GOP policies and
the middle class is still hurting
Christie: but businesses are hiring in
New Jersey because we have certainty over taxes
Gregory: which GOP Presidential candidate
will win your highly coveted endorsement
Christie: I’m not sure there are so many different
crazies to choose from
Gregory: what about my favorite
Michele Bachmann?
Christie: she seems a little crazy to me
Gregory: you look for bigness in politicians
Christie: people want a politician to
look them in the eye and wag their finger at them
Gregory: what about the
Pledge of Abortion Allegiance
Christie: I’m anti-abortion except when I’m not
Gregory: what about gay marriage?
Christie: I’m not a fan of gay people
kissing and all that icky stuff
Gregory: you’re a tough-talking,
no-nonsense asshole
Christie: fuck you Fluffy
Gregory: you were mean to teacher recently
Christie: She questioned my ability to
run the state’s public schools - how dare
she ask me a personal question me like that
Gregory: you cultivate the image of a jerk
Christie: I’m loveable and sweet and
not blow-dried you bastard
Gregory: why are going to Iowa?
Christie: to brag about big things
Gregory: will accept an offer to run as Vice President
Christie: c’mon you’re not that stupid are you Fluffy
Gregory: I might be
Christie: I’m a nice guy - just don’t
question me about irrelevant things
like being a husband and a father
Gregory: why would you make a good President?
Christie: I’m a husband and a father
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: Did Barack Obama make a
political decision to pull troops out of
Afghanistan instead of doing what is
best for America?
Reed: what unadulterated bullshit
Gregory: In the view of many Obama hates America
Webb: you are welcome to kiss my ass Fluffy
Gregory: but the Generals want more troops
Webb: They always do you idiot
Gregory: so should we have endless war?
Webb: China is expanding and we
must stop those Orientals!
Gregory: Liberals want to end the war
in Afghanistan now - that reminds me -
what is the mission there?
Reed: the mission in Afghanistan
is to leave Afghanistan
Gregory: but I still don’t understand
why Obama doesn’t end this wonderful war
Webb: we have to pull out slowly so
the Taliban doesn’t see us leaving
Gregory: what will happen there after we leave
Reed: there will be a nuclear war
between Pakistan and the Indians
Gregory: that’s interesting
Gregory: some say walking away and
hoping for the best will lead to
Sharia law in Oklahoma
Webb: actually keeping US troops in other
countries creates terrorism
Gregory: what about Libya?
Reed: we want to support the mission but
rebuke Obama for not asking Congress’s permission
Webb: we’re addicted to putting US troops
in desert lands as peacekeepers!
Gregory: thanks for coming dudes
[ break ]
Gregory: there is great criticism of President Obama
Brooks: from who - beside you
Gregory: Saint Christie who is wonderful
Brooks: Obama is a convenor - he trumpets
us into battle like Miles Davis
Gregory: that’s a great metaphor
because they’re both black
Brooks: are they?
Gregory: I hate Obama because he
compromises and achieves stuff
Kay: the surge was a compromise that
failed and now he’s taking troops out too soon
- we didn’t gain anything except Bin Laden
which doesn’t count
Bai: Budget negotiations are in secret
which puzzles people
Brooks: Jesus Christie would solve
America’s budget problems
Gregory: Obama’s Jedi mind tricks
don’t work on him
Brooks: both parties think they win
if the economy crashes
Kay: Worldwide lenders are freaking out
Gregory: we don’t rule the world
like we did after World War Two
which gives me a sad
Brooks: Darn those shallow politicians
Gregory: hee hee there is great buzz about Giuliani!
Brooks: I say this with love -
you need therapy David
Bai: Iowa may not necessarily get to
decide our next President
Gregory: what!?
Bai: it’s a possibility
Gregory: Huntsmann said his kids
can’t believe he’s really running for President
Audience: they’re not they only one
Kay: he’s running as the Thinking Man’s
Republican but that’s very small group
Brooks: I love this guy
Bai: the GOP primary is not as
monolithic as people think
Brooks: he’s unusual and in a
GOP primary that is really saying something
Gregory: what about Sarah Palin?
Kay: she’s beginning to look even crazier -
I didn’t think that was possible
Gregory: big news this morning was
made five minutes ago when Sen. Jim Webb
said we should invade countries to rescue Americans or not at all
Brooks: Obama is a big non-leading
convenor except when he doesn’t
consult anyone about war
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
*********************************
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Meet The Press - June 19, 2011
Guests:
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL)
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC)
Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa (D-Los Angeles)
Richard Engel
Doris Goodwin
Paul Gigot
*************************
Gregory: wow Obama and Boehner
played golf together
Audience: so heartwarming
Gregory: Senator will Democrats finally cut Medicare?
Durbin: no
Gregory: that’s very disappointing
Durbin: everything will be on the table
Gregory: so will you please consider cutting
Medicare benefits?
Durbin: maybe
Gregory: Lindsey are you willing to
create new revenue?
Graham: we will never raise taxes
but we might flatten taxes
Gregory: like what
Graham: like cut the ethanol gravy train
to pay off the debt
Gregory: Unions are rioting in Greece
- this terrifies me!
Durbin: calm down Fluffy
Graham: eek
Durbin: we’re borrowing too much from China
Gregory: what about raising the retirement age?
Durbin: no
Gregory: fuck you Dick - Medicare is not sustainable!!
Durbin: well fuck you too Fluffers
Gregory: Lindsey how do respond to
my assertion that the American people want
massive spending cuts?
Graham: Oh I agree - the people
really want Medicare cuts
Gregory: no one but me is willing to cut
Social Security and Medicare!!
[ grins stupidly ]
Graham: you are a silly person Greggers
Gregory: Boehner said Obama is ridiculous hee hee
Graham: the War Powers Act is unconstitutional
Gregory: oh that’s sad
Graham: if we leave Libya Egypt will be overrun,
the price of oil will double and Muamar “Mad Dog” Qaddafi
will run for the GOP nomination
Durbin: The Butcher of Bengazi is a bad guy
but Obama should still seek Congressional authorization
before starting a war there
Gregory: will Congress cut off funding
for the non-war in Libya?
Durbin: that would hurt the troops
Gregory: we have no troops there
Durbin: that’s baloney
Gregory: OMG we have no plan in Libya!
Graham: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: but but but I have no idea
what’s going on
Graham: what planet are you on Fluffy?
Gregory: um Beltway-Earth
Gregory: is Mitt Romney another Jimmy Carter?
Graham: no because Carter was
actually elected President
Gregory: is Romney right that we should
not be in Afghanistan?
Graham: no - if we leave moderates will be
killed and Pakistan will be destabilized
Gregory: wow
Graham: 6,000 people are joining the Afghan
army every month
Gregory: Are we seeing isolationism
or war weariness?
Graham: we may be able to drawn
troops by 2016 - if we never leave
Durbin: I opposed invading Iraq and
supported invading Afghanistan but I didn’t
vote for endless war all around the world
Gregory: give war a chance
[ break ]
Gregory: Welcome back to America Richard Engel!
Engel: The last time I was in the U.S.
the three most popular things in America
were AOL, Mel Gibson and Tiger Woods
Gregory: Will Jon Bolton run for President?
Todd: Mitt Romney is the clear front-runner
Gregory: he is very handsome
Todd: the people may demand Rick Perry
save the GOP
Gregory: electing a Texas Governor always works
Gigot: Texas is creating most of America’s jobs
and preventing most the country’s gay abortions
Goodwin: The primaries are almost a year
away but if Pawlenty can’t stand up to Mitt Romney how can he stand up to Obama?
Pawlenty: Romney is just like Obama!
Goodwin: Romney is tanned, rested and ready
Engel: he got confused about Afghans and Afghanis
Villaraigosa: what planet are these people on?
Forget Afghanistan we need to rebuild this country!
Gregory: so you would take the money
for war and spend it on schools and bridges
Villaraigosa: Fuck the beltway bubble
- we got real problems!
Gregory: there is real war-weariness
Engel: well sure 10 years of pointless
wars will do that
Gregory: what’s happening in Libya?
Engel: nothing much - but if the US
pulls out NATO is dead
Gigot: look everyone knows these GOP
candidates are only opposing wars because
there’s a Democrat in the White House
Gregory: Bob Gates says we have no idea
what our role in the world should be
Goodwin: it is confusing
Engel: that trend will continue because we
will be involved in many small wars
Gregory: that’s good news
Todd: Obama needs to sit down with
Dick Lugar and Jim Webb and explain to them
where Libya is and why we are attacking it
Gigot: Obama needs to sell the Libya war by
saying they have balsa wood planes capable
of reaching Midwestern cities and dropping
pictures of Anthony Weiner in his underwear
Greg: that would certainly do it
Gregory: Doris do some sex scandals require
Democrats to resign while Republicans don’t?
Goodwin: Weiner had to resign because
it was a distraction because the media wouldn’t
let it go
Todd: he didn’t have any friends on Capitol Hill
Gregory: David Vitter doesn’t have to resign
Todd: he wouldn’t survive a Vitter-Twitter scandal
Gregory: let’s talk substance - did Obama
cause the recession in 2007?
Villaraigosa: that’s crap - Bush inherited
a surplus and blew it
Greogory: I declare Obama cannot blame Bush
Gigot: that’s right - the bad economy is
all Obama’s fault
Todd: people want government do more
and also slash the debt
Gregory: what specifically do people
want government do?
Todd: Something!
Gregory: I talk to a lot of businessmen
and they want the government to create
jobs for them
Engel: People around the world
don’t care about what happens in the US but they
do fear our massive military
Gregory: should we would really slash
spending during a recession?
Goodwin: amazingly we suddenly
had to cut the debt immediately when a
Democrat got elected
Villaraigosa: Gridlock! Partisanship! Shrill debate!
Engel: the USA borrowed a trillion dollars from China to kill a bearded guy in Waziristan
Audience: awesome
Gregory: the big headline today is
Lindsey Graham says Mitt Romney is moving
to Obama’s left and is soft on the war on terror
Gigot: the GOP is pro-war and always will be
Gregory: Rick Perry is trending
Todd: If Romney raises $50 million
Rick Perry will have National Day of Prayer and
Asking For Money
Gregory: Obama is on twitter - his tweets are going to be
signed “B.O.” while the dog’s will
be signed “Bo”
Audience: excellent
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
************************************
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL)
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC)
Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa (D-Los Angeles)
Richard Engel
Doris Goodwin
Paul Gigot
*************************
Gregory: wow Obama and Boehner
played golf together
Audience: so heartwarming
Gregory: Senator will Democrats finally cut Medicare?
Durbin: no
Gregory: that’s very disappointing
Durbin: everything will be on the table
Gregory: so will you please consider cutting
Medicare benefits?
Durbin: maybe
Gregory: Lindsey are you willing to
create new revenue?
Graham: we will never raise taxes
but we might flatten taxes
Gregory: like what
Graham: like cut the ethanol gravy train
to pay off the debt
Gregory: Unions are rioting in Greece
- this terrifies me!
Durbin: calm down Fluffy
Graham: eek
Durbin: we’re borrowing too much from China
Gregory: what about raising the retirement age?
Durbin: no
Gregory: fuck you Dick - Medicare is not sustainable!!
Durbin: well fuck you too Fluffers
Gregory: Lindsey how do respond to
my assertion that the American people want
massive spending cuts?
Graham: Oh I agree - the people
really want Medicare cuts
Gregory: no one but me is willing to cut
Social Security and Medicare!!
[ grins stupidly ]
Graham: you are a silly person Greggers
Gregory: Boehner said Obama is ridiculous hee hee
Graham: the War Powers Act is unconstitutional
Gregory: oh that’s sad
Graham: if we leave Libya Egypt will be overrun,
the price of oil will double and Muamar “Mad Dog” Qaddafi
will run for the GOP nomination
Durbin: The Butcher of Bengazi is a bad guy
but Obama should still seek Congressional authorization
before starting a war there
Gregory: will Congress cut off funding
for the non-war in Libya?
Durbin: that would hurt the troops
Gregory: we have no troops there
Durbin: that’s baloney
Gregory: OMG we have no plan in Libya!
Graham: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: but but but I have no idea
what’s going on
Graham: what planet are you on Fluffy?
Gregory: um Beltway-Earth
Gregory: is Mitt Romney another Jimmy Carter?
Graham: no because Carter was
actually elected President
Gregory: is Romney right that we should
not be in Afghanistan?
Graham: no - if we leave moderates will be
killed and Pakistan will be destabilized
Gregory: wow
Graham: 6,000 people are joining the Afghan
army every month
Gregory: Are we seeing isolationism
or war weariness?
Graham: we may be able to drawn
troops by 2016 - if we never leave
Durbin: I opposed invading Iraq and
supported invading Afghanistan but I didn’t
vote for endless war all around the world
Gregory: give war a chance
[ break ]
Gregory: Welcome back to America Richard Engel!
Engel: The last time I was in the U.S.
the three most popular things in America
were AOL, Mel Gibson and Tiger Woods
Gregory: Will Jon Bolton run for President?
Todd: Mitt Romney is the clear front-runner
Gregory: he is very handsome
Todd: the people may demand Rick Perry
save the GOP
Gregory: electing a Texas Governor always works
Gigot: Texas is creating most of America’s jobs
and preventing most the country’s gay abortions
Goodwin: The primaries are almost a year
away but if Pawlenty can’t stand up to Mitt Romney how can he stand up to Obama?
Pawlenty: Romney is just like Obama!
Goodwin: Romney is tanned, rested and ready
Engel: he got confused about Afghans and Afghanis
Villaraigosa: what planet are these people on?
Forget Afghanistan we need to rebuild this country!
Gregory: so you would take the money
for war and spend it on schools and bridges
Villaraigosa: Fuck the beltway bubble
- we got real problems!
Gregory: there is real war-weariness
Engel: well sure 10 years of pointless
wars will do that
Gregory: what’s happening in Libya?
Engel: nothing much - but if the US
pulls out NATO is dead
Gigot: look everyone knows these GOP
candidates are only opposing wars because
there’s a Democrat in the White House
Gregory: Bob Gates says we have no idea
what our role in the world should be
Goodwin: it is confusing
Engel: that trend will continue because we
will be involved in many small wars
Gregory: that’s good news
Todd: Obama needs to sit down with
Dick Lugar and Jim Webb and explain to them
where Libya is and why we are attacking it
Gigot: Obama needs to sell the Libya war by
saying they have balsa wood planes capable
of reaching Midwestern cities and dropping
pictures of Anthony Weiner in his underwear
Greg: that would certainly do it
Gregory: Doris do some sex scandals require
Democrats to resign while Republicans don’t?
Goodwin: Weiner had to resign because
it was a distraction because the media wouldn’t
let it go
Todd: he didn’t have any friends on Capitol Hill
Gregory: David Vitter doesn’t have to resign
Todd: he wouldn’t survive a Vitter-Twitter scandal
Gregory: let’s talk substance - did Obama
cause the recession in 2007?
Villaraigosa: that’s crap - Bush inherited
a surplus and blew it
Greogory: I declare Obama cannot blame Bush
Gigot: that’s right - the bad economy is
all Obama’s fault
Todd: people want government do more
and also slash the debt
Gregory: what specifically do people
want government do?
Todd: Something!
Gregory: I talk to a lot of businessmen
and they want the government to create
jobs for them
Engel: People around the world
don’t care about what happens in the US but they
do fear our massive military
Gregory: should we would really slash
spending during a recession?
Goodwin: amazingly we suddenly
had to cut the debt immediately when a
Democrat got elected
Villaraigosa: Gridlock! Partisanship! Shrill debate!
Engel: the USA borrowed a trillion dollars from China to kill a bearded guy in Waziristan
Audience: awesome
Gregory: the big headline today is
Lindsey Graham says Mitt Romney is moving
to Obama’s left and is soft on the war on terror
Gigot: the GOP is pro-war and always will be
Gregory: Rick Perry is trending
Todd: If Romney raises $50 million
Rick Perry will have National Day of Prayer and
Asking For Money
Gregory: Obama is on twitter - his tweets are going to be
signed “B.O.” while the dog’s will
be signed “Bo”
Audience: excellent
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
************************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - June 19, 2011
Guests:
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Husain Haqqani (Pakistan Ambassador to U.S.)
David Ignatius
Liz Cheney
******************************
Amanpour: hey we’ve been bombing
Libya for 90 days
Audience: woot
Amanpour: Senator McCain are you worried
that the GOP has suddenly discovered isolationism?
McCain: indeed they are putting party politics
over the good of then nation
Amanpour: wow
McCain: but Obama is also to blame for
deferring to those cheese-eating French
Amanpour: what about the War Powers Act?
McCain: John Kerry and I are on top of that
Amanpour: will we be at war there
for the standard 6 months to 10 years?
McCain: Yes! Predators are in the fight!
Amanpour: are the GOP Presidential
candidates isolationists?
McCain: there’s always been a strain of isolationism
in the GOP that seem to pop up whenever a Democrat is President
Amanpour: that’s true
McCain: you know yokels like Bachmann
and Cain would be the first to attack Obama if
Qadaffi had killed 700,000 people
Amanpour: but is there a vital national interest?
McCain: Reagan invaded Grenada because
those medical students were about to graduate
and come here
Amanpour: what about Libya
McCain: Barack Obama had to bomb
Libya because of Pan Am 103 and that German disco
Amanpour: the GOP candidates have
suddenly realized Obama has gotten us bogged
down in a useless war in Afghanistan
McCain: I don’t what the hell Mitt Romney
is talking about
Amanpour: few people do
McCain: the surge worked!
Amanpour: so I’m told
McCain: I admit Afghanistan is a big mess
but the Taliban are very mean
Amanpour: should we just leave?
McCain: we need to invade Eastern Afghanistan
but give the show one more season to gets its ratings up
Amanpour: I see
McCain: It’s a Crocker!
Amanpour: Pakistan arrested the informants
who helped the U.S. get Osama bin Laden
McCain: because we abandoned
Pakistan years ago!
Amanpour: ok
McCain: we’ve poured billions in Pakistan
and we’re not getting a good return
on our investment
Amanpour: it’s the Lehman Brothers of Central Asia
McCain: we need to stay there forever
Amanpour: what do you think of the
GOP Presidential candidates?
McCain: they’re all appeasing isolationist idiots
Amanpour: thanks for coming Grumpy
[ break ]
Amanpour: why is Pakistan so mad about the
U.S. military action on the soil?
Haqqani: we’re just trying to find out
what happened
Amanpour: It looks like the people who
helped catch the world’s worst terrorist
are being punished
Haqqani: oh no not at all
Cheney: the Pakistanis were embarrassed -
but let’s not be too hard on them we love
those crazy guys
Ignatius: Americans were shocked that
Pakistan allowed bin Laden to live in their country
Haqqani: that’s bullshit David
Ignatius: but the Pakistanis were shocked
that we violated their sovereignty
Amanpour: aren’t we in more danger
from terrorism than ever?
Cheney: We are at war - it’s very naive to think
we cannot police the world
Amanpour: really?
Cheney: if Michelle Bachmann is elected
we will surely be attacked again
Amanpour: the American people seem
to be tired of war
Cheney: Obama is soft on attacking on
Libya and Herman Cain is just crazy
Amanpour: that’s fascinating
Cheney: Obama creating a terrible deficit
Amanpour: I though deficits don’t matter
Cheney: who said that?
Amanpour: do you know where the terrorists are?
Haqqani: if Americans are tired of the
war imagine how people in Afghanistan feel
Ignatius: Obama has concluded that killing
terrorists is working but nation-building is not
Cheney: no we must never pull troops
out of Afghanistan!
Amanpour: easy there Liz
Cheney: Attack! Bomb! Kill!
Amanpour: we’ll take a break
[ break ]
***************
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Husain Haqqani (Pakistan Ambassador to U.S.)
David Ignatius
Liz Cheney
******************************
Amanpour: hey we’ve been bombing
Libya for 90 days
Audience: woot
Amanpour: Senator McCain are you worried
that the GOP has suddenly discovered isolationism?
McCain: indeed they are putting party politics
over the good of then nation
Amanpour: wow
McCain: but Obama is also to blame for
deferring to those cheese-eating French
Amanpour: what about the War Powers Act?
McCain: John Kerry and I are on top of that
Amanpour: will we be at war there
for the standard 6 months to 10 years?
McCain: Yes! Predators are in the fight!
Amanpour: are the GOP Presidential
candidates isolationists?
McCain: there’s always been a strain of isolationism
in the GOP that seem to pop up whenever a Democrat is President
Amanpour: that’s true
McCain: you know yokels like Bachmann
and Cain would be the first to attack Obama if
Qadaffi had killed 700,000 people
Amanpour: but is there a vital national interest?
McCain: Reagan invaded Grenada because
those medical students were about to graduate
and come here
Amanpour: what about Libya
McCain: Barack Obama had to bomb
Libya because of Pan Am 103 and that German disco
Amanpour: the GOP candidates have
suddenly realized Obama has gotten us bogged
down in a useless war in Afghanistan
McCain: I don’t what the hell Mitt Romney
is talking about
Amanpour: few people do
McCain: the surge worked!
Amanpour: so I’m told
McCain: I admit Afghanistan is a big mess
but the Taliban are very mean
Amanpour: should we just leave?
McCain: we need to invade Eastern Afghanistan
but give the show one more season to gets its ratings up
Amanpour: I see
McCain: It’s a Crocker!
Amanpour: Pakistan arrested the informants
who helped the U.S. get Osama bin Laden
McCain: because we abandoned
Pakistan years ago!
Amanpour: ok
McCain: we’ve poured billions in Pakistan
and we’re not getting a good return
on our investment
Amanpour: it’s the Lehman Brothers of Central Asia
McCain: we need to stay there forever
Amanpour: what do you think of the
GOP Presidential candidates?
McCain: they’re all appeasing isolationist idiots
Amanpour: thanks for coming Grumpy
[ break ]
Amanpour: why is Pakistan so mad about the
U.S. military action on the soil?
Haqqani: we’re just trying to find out
what happened
Amanpour: It looks like the people who
helped catch the world’s worst terrorist
are being punished
Haqqani: oh no not at all
Cheney: the Pakistanis were embarrassed -
but let’s not be too hard on them we love
those crazy guys
Ignatius: Americans were shocked that
Pakistan allowed bin Laden to live in their country
Haqqani: that’s bullshit David
Ignatius: but the Pakistanis were shocked
that we violated their sovereignty
Amanpour: aren’t we in more danger
from terrorism than ever?
Cheney: We are at war - it’s very naive to think
we cannot police the world
Amanpour: really?
Cheney: if Michelle Bachmann is elected
we will surely be attacked again
Amanpour: the American people seem
to be tired of war
Cheney: Obama is soft on attacking on
Libya and Herman Cain is just crazy
Amanpour: that’s fascinating
Cheney: Obama creating a terrible deficit
Amanpour: I though deficits don’t matter
Cheney: who said that?
Amanpour: do you know where the terrorists are?
Haqqani: if Americans are tired of the
war imagine how people in Afghanistan feel
Ignatius: Obama has concluded that killing
terrorists is working but nation-building is not
Cheney: no we must never pull troops
out of Afghanistan!
Amanpour: easy there Liz
Cheney: Attack! Bomb! Kill!
Amanpour: we’ll take a break
[ break ]
***************
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Meet The Press - June 12, 2011
Guests:
Rick Santorum
Debbie Wasserman Schultz (DNC)
Reince Priebus (RNC)
Rick Santorum
Mayor Kasim Reed (D-Atlanta)
Mike Murphy
Richard Wolffe
Kim Strassel
********************************
Gregory: wow breaking news this morning
Rep. Weiner is entering wanker-rehab
Wasserman Schultz: he’s a putz and needs to go
Gregory: what’s the problem
Wasserman Schultz: he’s just creepy
Gregory: a leave of absence is not enough?
Wasserman Schultz: he needs to resign and if
he doesn’t we will pinch him in the House coatroom
Priebus: Anthony Weiner has turned Washington DC into a circus!
Gregory: really?
Priebus: we have high unemployment and
Anthony Weiner won’t leave!
Wasserman Schultz: Vitter went to fucking
prostitutes and you didn’t call for his resignation
Priebus: why are we talking about Vitter’s
prostitutes when we have high debt?!?
Gregory: good point Debs -- tell me what is Anthony Weiner’s
state of mind?
Wasserman Schultz: he’s a remorseful jackass
Gregory: interesting
Wasserman Schultz: If jobs are so important
why is the GOP so obsessed with Weiner’s
dick and banning abortion?
Priebus: Weiner’s online masturbatory fantasies
have stopped all jobs legislation, halted business
at the Supreme Court and rerouted
millions of seamen
Gregory: Let’s talk jobs
Wasserman Schultz: Obama turned the
economy around
Gregory: no he didn’t - I asked around
Wasserman Schultz: we’ve had 15 months
of job growth
Gregory: that’s not possible since I don’t like him
Priebus: Obama caused a Great Depression
- what a disaster Obama is!
Gregory: so true Reince
Priebus: Americans care about the debt!
Gregory: can Republicans do anything
to create jobs?
Priebus: we need to cut the debt
Gregory: how about cutting my taxes Debbie?
Wasserman Schultz: we could cut the
capital gains tax
Gregory: now you’re talking
Wasserman Schultz: also cut spending
Priebus: Obama lost jobs!
Gregory: Obama is in a dead heat with Mitt Romney
Wasserman Schultz: yeah but he’s a flip-flopping weasel
Priebus: I’m from Wisconsin and the
GOP is wildly popular there
Gregory: that's awesome
Priebus: are you better off than before
the Bush Depression started?
Wasserman Schultz: I’m from Florida and voters
are rejecting the extreme GOP there
Gregory: how is Gabby Giffords doing?
Wasserman Schultz: I ask her a question and she responds in full coherent sentences
Priebus: wow I even can’t do that with Sarah Palin
[ break ]
Gregory: what do you think of Obama?
Santorum: he hates freedom because he
doesn’t think Americans can choose health insurance for themselves
Gregory: do you think the current health
insurance system works well?
Santorum: we need a bottom up system
Gregory: have you ever googled yourself?
Santorum: Obama will put government
price controls on Medicare!
Gregory: oh my
Santorum: Obama is pushing grandma off a cliff -
we want to empower grandpa to fly off that cliff
Gregory: People in your own state hate you
Santorum: true but I stood up for the
crazy unpopular things I believe in
Gregory: like what?
Santorum: I was one of the first to call for
repealing Social Security
Gregory: anything else
Santorum: Seniors needs to control costs
by themselves
Gregory: would you raise the retirement age?
Santorum: we should have a price inflation index!
Gregory: let’s cut the bullshit Rick - who are you and what are you?
Santorum: I have had the courage to call for ending federal entitlements, I supported war with Iran and Syria, I hate gay people, and I love pina coladas, walks on the beach, and men who aren't afraid to cry - and fetuses
Gregory: what do you think of Mormons
Santorum: they’re very fine nice wackos
Gregory: what about Romney and Huntsman?
Santorum: they are nowhere near as crazy
as me and yet I won in a blue state
Gregory: until you lost
Santorum: only because of the recession
Obama caused in 2006
Gregory: in 2002 you said the last thing
we need to worry about deficits
Santorum: yes but we had Bill Clinton’s
surplus to spend
Gregory: I see
Santorum: also that was right after the 9/11 attacks
Gregory: That interview was a year and
three months later
Santorum: look when you’re in a
recession and fighting wars you can’t
care about the debt - but things are different now
Gregory: America - what went wrong?
Santorum: I love the smell of
sulphur in the morning
Gregory: I think I follow you
Santorum: the NLRB is shipping jobs overseas
Gregory: interesting
Santorum: I have a secret plan to bring
jobs to America
Gregory: businesses have so much cash -
why do they need more tax cuts?
Santorum: they don’t believe Obama
will let them be profitable
Gregory: you said in public schools kids get only
weird socialization
Santorum: Public schools are nothing but psychotic Stalisnist camps -- kids are forced to spend all day with people the same age and socio-economic class - what the
fuck is up with that??
Gregory: would home schooling fix that?
Santorum: kids need get out of that stuffy classroom with boring factory wrote learning
Gregory: and do what?
Santorum: kids need to interact with adults in the private sector -- why not have kids intern in our finest corporations?
Gregory: would you allow abortion in
cases of rape or incest?
Santorum: hell no - put those doctors
in prison for life
Gregory: women too?
Santorum: no those little ladies don’t
know what they are doing
Gregory: what about female doctors?
Santorum: they have those?
Gregory: so I’ve heard
Santorum: well Fluffy I will put a stop to
that nonsensical social engineering
[ break ]
Gregory: Is Santorum for real ?
Murphy: no he’s all forth
Gregory: What about Weiner?
Reed: he has to resign so Democrats can talk about the the Democrats' failure to create jobs
Strassel: Charlie Rangel also refused to resign - such impertinence!
Wolffe: even if he survives how effective can he really be?
Murphy: he’s a dead man wanking
Gregory: According himself Newt is an outsider
Murphy: He will have a comeback and be
able to run his own campaign his own way -
only then will he completely fail
Gregory: I am fascinated by Giuliani and Bachmann
Strassel: Conservatives have felt slighted
and want a champion
Wolffe: Team Obama will target the GOP
candidates as even bigger failures than the
White House
Gregory: Obama is vulnerable!
Reed: He saved the automobile industry -
Obama has got to get attention for stuff like that
Gregory: maybe if he tweets it with a
picture of his underpants
Murphy: the economy is bad but every year
there are fewer white people which is bad
for the GOP
Wolffe: Team Obama is counting on
hispanics, blacks, young people, techies,
gays, geeks and nerds
Gregory: Top trending stories are
Weiner, Palin and some terrorists!
Wolffe: Democrats will pay a price for
Weiner because he didn’t go to a
prostitute which is ok
Strassel: the media are pointlessly obsessed
with Sarah Palin
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet the Press
**********************************
Rick Santorum
Debbie Wasserman Schultz (DNC)
Reince Priebus (RNC)
Rick Santorum
Mayor Kasim Reed (D-Atlanta)
Mike Murphy
Richard Wolffe
Kim Strassel
********************************
Gregory: wow breaking news this morning
Rep. Weiner is entering wanker-rehab
Wasserman Schultz: he’s a putz and needs to go
Gregory: what’s the problem
Wasserman Schultz: he’s just creepy
Gregory: a leave of absence is not enough?
Wasserman Schultz: he needs to resign and if
he doesn’t we will pinch him in the House coatroom
Priebus: Anthony Weiner has turned Washington DC into a circus!
Gregory: really?
Priebus: we have high unemployment and
Anthony Weiner won’t leave!
Wasserman Schultz: Vitter went to fucking
prostitutes and you didn’t call for his resignation
Priebus: why are we talking about Vitter’s
prostitutes when we have high debt?!?
Gregory: good point Debs -- tell me what is Anthony Weiner’s
state of mind?
Wasserman Schultz: he’s a remorseful jackass
Gregory: interesting
Wasserman Schultz: If jobs are so important
why is the GOP so obsessed with Weiner’s
dick and banning abortion?
Priebus: Weiner’s online masturbatory fantasies
have stopped all jobs legislation, halted business
at the Supreme Court and rerouted
millions of seamen
Gregory: Let’s talk jobs
Wasserman Schultz: Obama turned the
economy around
Gregory: no he didn’t - I asked around
Wasserman Schultz: we’ve had 15 months
of job growth
Gregory: that’s not possible since I don’t like him
Priebus: Obama caused a Great Depression
- what a disaster Obama is!
Gregory: so true Reince
Priebus: Americans care about the debt!
Gregory: can Republicans do anything
to create jobs?
Priebus: we need to cut the debt
Gregory: how about cutting my taxes Debbie?
Wasserman Schultz: we could cut the
capital gains tax
Gregory: now you’re talking
Wasserman Schultz: also cut spending
Priebus: Obama lost jobs!
Gregory: Obama is in a dead heat with Mitt Romney
Wasserman Schultz: yeah but he’s a flip-flopping weasel
Priebus: I’m from Wisconsin and the
GOP is wildly popular there
Gregory: that's awesome
Priebus: are you better off than before
the Bush Depression started?
Wasserman Schultz: I’m from Florida and voters
are rejecting the extreme GOP there
Gregory: how is Gabby Giffords doing?
Wasserman Schultz: I ask her a question and she responds in full coherent sentences
Priebus: wow I even can’t do that with Sarah Palin
[ break ]
Gregory: what do you think of Obama?
Santorum: he hates freedom because he
doesn’t think Americans can choose health insurance for themselves
Gregory: do you think the current health
insurance system works well?
Santorum: we need a bottom up system
Gregory: have you ever googled yourself?
Santorum: Obama will put government
price controls on Medicare!
Gregory: oh my
Santorum: Obama is pushing grandma off a cliff -
we want to empower grandpa to fly off that cliff
Gregory: People in your own state hate you
Santorum: true but I stood up for the
crazy unpopular things I believe in
Gregory: like what?
Santorum: I was one of the first to call for
repealing Social Security
Gregory: anything else
Santorum: Seniors needs to control costs
by themselves
Gregory: would you raise the retirement age?
Santorum: we should have a price inflation index!
Gregory: let’s cut the bullshit Rick - who are you and what are you?
Santorum: I have had the courage to call for ending federal entitlements, I supported war with Iran and Syria, I hate gay people, and I love pina coladas, walks on the beach, and men who aren't afraid to cry - and fetuses
Gregory: what do you think of Mormons
Santorum: they’re very fine nice wackos
Gregory: what about Romney and Huntsman?
Santorum: they are nowhere near as crazy
as me and yet I won in a blue state
Gregory: until you lost
Santorum: only because of the recession
Obama caused in 2006
Gregory: in 2002 you said the last thing
we need to worry about deficits
Santorum: yes but we had Bill Clinton’s
surplus to spend
Gregory: I see
Santorum: also that was right after the 9/11 attacks
Gregory: That interview was a year and
three months later
Santorum: look when you’re in a
recession and fighting wars you can’t
care about the debt - but things are different now
Gregory: America - what went wrong?
Santorum: I love the smell of
sulphur in the morning
Gregory: I think I follow you
Santorum: the NLRB is shipping jobs overseas
Gregory: interesting
Santorum: I have a secret plan to bring
jobs to America
Gregory: businesses have so much cash -
why do they need more tax cuts?
Santorum: they don’t believe Obama
will let them be profitable
Gregory: you said in public schools kids get only
weird socialization
Santorum: Public schools are nothing but psychotic Stalisnist camps -- kids are forced to spend all day with people the same age and socio-economic class - what the
fuck is up with that??
Gregory: would home schooling fix that?
Santorum: kids need get out of that stuffy classroom with boring factory wrote learning
Gregory: and do what?
Santorum: kids need to interact with adults in the private sector -- why not have kids intern in our finest corporations?
Gregory: would you allow abortion in
cases of rape or incest?
Santorum: hell no - put those doctors
in prison for life
Gregory: women too?
Santorum: no those little ladies don’t
know what they are doing
Gregory: what about female doctors?
Santorum: they have those?
Gregory: so I’ve heard
Santorum: well Fluffy I will put a stop to
that nonsensical social engineering
[ break ]
Gregory: Is Santorum for real ?
Murphy: no he’s all forth
Gregory: What about Weiner?
Reed: he has to resign so Democrats can talk about the the Democrats' failure to create jobs
Strassel: Charlie Rangel also refused to resign - such impertinence!
Wolffe: even if he survives how effective can he really be?
Murphy: he’s a dead man wanking
Gregory: According himself Newt is an outsider
Murphy: He will have a comeback and be
able to run his own campaign his own way -
only then will he completely fail
Gregory: I am fascinated by Giuliani and Bachmann
Strassel: Conservatives have felt slighted
and want a champion
Wolffe: Team Obama will target the GOP
candidates as even bigger failures than the
White House
Gregory: Obama is vulnerable!
Reed: He saved the automobile industry -
Obama has got to get attention for stuff like that
Gregory: maybe if he tweets it with a
picture of his underpants
Murphy: the economy is bad but every year
there are fewer white people which is bad
for the GOP
Wolffe: Team Obama is counting on
hispanics, blacks, young people, techies,
gays, geeks and nerds
Gregory: Top trending stories are
Weiner, Palin and some terrorists!
Wolffe: Democrats will pay a price for
Weiner because he didn’t go to a
prostitute which is ok
Strassel: the media are pointlessly obsessed
with Sarah Palin
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet the Press
**********************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - June 12, 2011
Guests:
Jake Tapper
George Will
Peggy Noonan
Donna Brazile
Robert Reich
Jonathan Karl
******************************************
Amanpour: good morning - the top Al-Qaeda
guy in Africa got killed - suck it terrorists!
Amanpour: also Anthony Weiner’s sex text messages
are drowning out the democratic message
in Washington while David Vitter does not
affect coverage of the Republican message
just because that's how it is
Wasserman-Schultz: what a dipshit
Amanpour: Weiner has paralyzed the
Democratic party
Will: he claims to have a disease so
he can’t be removed from office under
the Americans with Disabilities Act
Tapper: technically he hasn’t violated
the law like using a state helicopter for
personal use or going to a prostitute
which are very forgivable crimes
Amanpour: the Democrats' message is diluted
Brazile: no one can talk about the
federal budget or the debt or the U.S.
economy because of pictures of Weiner’s penis
Amanpour: that makes perfect sense
Brazile: his constituents deserve a full member
Noonan: this clearly proves the
End-of-Roman empire decadence of Washington
Amanpour: you’re calling someone else decadent?
Noonan: truly it's the Weiner Republic
Amanpour: good one Peggers
Noonan: the whole city has to come together
and say enough - no more can Democrats have sex
Amanpour: is Mitt Romney the
front runner for 2012?
Noonan: Whether Vain is the least bad choice
Tapper: Tim Pawlenty will be a truly
formidable opponent
Will: by 2012 one third of Americans
will be under water - and that doesn’t include
Michael Phelps
Pawlenty: we should be more awesome America
Amanpour: is Pawlenty really going to
save the GOP?
Will: compared to me he’s Elvis
Amanpour: true
Will: he should adopt Reagan’s sunny message
of borrow and spend which is full of win
Noonan: Republicans handed Obama 2 wars,
a jobs disaster, epic recession, and massive debt
- so let’s fire Obama and give them another chance
Gingrich: my lobbyists in DC tell me to
say I’m an outsider
Will: Newt is an egomaniacal bull in a china shop
Tapper: I spoke to several people this week
who hate Gingrich’s guts - and those were
his top staffers
Amanpour: holy crap the economy is really bad
Reich: consumers are losing their
home values and jobs so they won’t spend
money and if they don’t spend money there won’t be jobs
Shelby: this is a new day - we need to
help business more
Reich: consumers are scared -
we need to unterrify them
Karl: we tried stimulus and lowered interest rates -
what else can we do?
Reich: reform the bankruptcy system, a new jobs program-
Karl: but that’s not realistic
Reich: well that’s my fucking answer idiot
Shelby: we need to create certainty
Goolsbee: we created lots of jobs
Reich: you can’t go into an election year like this
- there’s deafening silence on jobs!
Shelby: Businesses are scared - they are worried about their children - we need certainty by which which I mean lower taxes and less regulating
Karl: OMG the debt and health care!!
Reich: Businesses don’t care about the federal debt
Karl: oh noes
Reich: why not have a new Works Progress Administration?
Shelby: good idea
Reich: really let’s shake on it
Shelby: the WPA didn’t end the Depression
- Word War Two did!!
Reich: yes Dick we all miss Hitler and his US jobs-creating program
Shelby: free markets are good
Karl: none of your proposals will happen
Amanpour: thanks for coming
********************************
Jake Tapper
George Will
Peggy Noonan
Donna Brazile
Robert Reich
Jonathan Karl
******************************************
Amanpour: good morning - the top Al-Qaeda
guy in Africa got killed - suck it terrorists!
Amanpour: also Anthony Weiner’s sex text messages
are drowning out the democratic message
in Washington while David Vitter does not
affect coverage of the Republican message
just because that's how it is
Wasserman-Schultz: what a dipshit
Amanpour: Weiner has paralyzed the
Democratic party
Will: he claims to have a disease so
he can’t be removed from office under
the Americans with Disabilities Act
Tapper: technically he hasn’t violated
the law like using a state helicopter for
personal use or going to a prostitute
which are very forgivable crimes
Amanpour: the Democrats' message is diluted
Brazile: no one can talk about the
federal budget or the debt or the U.S.
economy because of pictures of Weiner’s penis
Amanpour: that makes perfect sense
Brazile: his constituents deserve a full member
Noonan: this clearly proves the
End-of-Roman empire decadence of Washington
Amanpour: you’re calling someone else decadent?
Noonan: truly it's the Weiner Republic
Amanpour: good one Peggers
Noonan: the whole city has to come together
and say enough - no more can Democrats have sex
Amanpour: is Mitt Romney the
front runner for 2012?
Noonan: Whether Vain is the least bad choice
Tapper: Tim Pawlenty will be a truly
formidable opponent
Will: by 2012 one third of Americans
will be under water - and that doesn’t include
Michael Phelps
Pawlenty: we should be more awesome America
Amanpour: is Pawlenty really going to
save the GOP?
Will: compared to me he’s Elvis
Amanpour: true
Will: he should adopt Reagan’s sunny message
of borrow and spend which is full of win
Noonan: Republicans handed Obama 2 wars,
a jobs disaster, epic recession, and massive debt
- so let’s fire Obama and give them another chance
Gingrich: my lobbyists in DC tell me to
say I’m an outsider
Will: Newt is an egomaniacal bull in a china shop
Tapper: I spoke to several people this week
who hate Gingrich’s guts - and those were
his top staffers
Amanpour: holy crap the economy is really bad
Reich: consumers are losing their
home values and jobs so they won’t spend
money and if they don’t spend money there won’t be jobs
Shelby: this is a new day - we need to
help business more
Reich: consumers are scared -
we need to unterrify them
Karl: we tried stimulus and lowered interest rates -
what else can we do?
Reich: reform the bankruptcy system, a new jobs program-
Karl: but that’s not realistic
Reich: well that’s my fucking answer idiot
Shelby: we need to create certainty
Goolsbee: we created lots of jobs
Reich: you can’t go into an election year like this
- there’s deafening silence on jobs!
Shelby: Businesses are scared - they are worried about their children - we need certainty by which which I mean lower taxes and less regulating
Karl: OMG the debt and health care!!
Reich: Businesses don’t care about the federal debt
Karl: oh noes
Reich: why not have a new Works Progress Administration?
Shelby: good idea
Reich: really let’s shake on it
Shelby: the WPA didn’t end the Depression
- Word War Two did!!
Reich: yes Dick we all miss Hitler and his US jobs-creating program
Shelby: free markets are good
Karl: none of your proposals will happen
Amanpour: thanks for coming
********************************
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Meet The Press - May 22, 2011
Guests:
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Chris Van Hollen (D-MD)
Andrea Mitchell
Eugene Robinson
Andrew Ross Sorkin
Mike Murphy
********************************
Gregory: Mitch Daniels was going to ride
in on a white horse to the White House but he said the women in my life won’t let me President
Audience: we lost Mr. Excitement -
truly the world has ended
Gregory: Mitch Daniels discovered fiscal
discipline after he left the Bush White House
Ryan: it’s a tragedy
Gregory: Paul will you run for President
Ryan: no I need to stay in Congress and
fight for fiscal sanity
Gregory: so you are leaving the door ajar!
Ryan: no I will privatize Medicare or die trying!
Gregory: on this show Gingrich called Paul Ryan’s
plan radical right-wing social engineering
Gingrich: I made a mistake - although to be fair
to me I said it on Meet the Press and assumed
no one would be watching
Gregory: good point
Gingrich: any ad that quotes me directly
is a falsehood
Gregory: Congressman Newt called you a
radical crazy person
Ryan: that is true but only for those few Americans
who are under 55 years old
Gregory: I see
Ryan: under my plan people would get to choose
to deny their money to lazy doctors
Gregory: I see
Ryan: Obama would let 15 bureaucrats
kill old people
Gregory: Is Newt a demagogue?
Ryan: yes - but he’s always been a horrible person
Gregory: so now he’s just trying to seem moderate
Ryan: right
Gregory: a lot of Republicans are afraid to be
seen in the same zip code as you
Ryan: I hate demagogues - did you know if
we don’t privatize Medicare now current seniors
will die slow horrible deaths
Greg: I did not
Ryan: where is the democrats plan to
destroy Medicare?!?
Gregory: has Gingrich handed the 2012
election to Obama?
Ryan: we have to rise above petty politics
and remind everyone that if we don’t slash
Medicare then current retirees will starve to death
Gregory: Newt Gingrich basically ruined any
chance of your plan being enacted -
doesn’t that bother you?
Ryan: who cares what the American people think -
we will create our own reality if we have to
Gregory: good luck with that
Ryan: people will reward me for not scaring seniors -
I just remind that Obama wants all old
people to suffer
Gregory: Is it true that all GOP Presidential
candidates must promise to privatize Medicare?
Ryan: absolutely
Gregory: if your ideas are so necessary how
come everyone is running away from your plan?
Ryan: like who?
Gregory: Michelle Bachmann thinks you’re
crazy and she’s um, crazy
Ryan: look this is very simple - old people will get a
coupon to shop around for health coverage when they’re dying
Gregory: that seems eminently sensible
Ryan: we don’t want to give the government the power to deny health coverage to old people -
we want to give that power to for-profit insurance companies
Gregory: are you willing to negotiate?
Ryan: sure but the Democrats have not put out their own nutty wildly unpopular plan
Gregory: will you vote to raise the
debt ceiling?
Ryan: the GOP realized that spending is
bad since a Democrat became a President
Gregory: so will you make a deal
Ryan: yes as long as Obama cuts spending so much
a Republican can be elected and borrow and spend all over again
Gregory: good luck Paul
[ break ]
Gregory: Chris are we finally going to end Medicare?
Van Hollen: Newt was right -
it is right-wing radical social engineering
Gregory: but Paul Ryan is so wonderful
Van Hollen: they would leave seniors to the
mercy of for-profit companies and soraring costs
Gregory: but Paul Ryan is right -
you Democrats don’t have your own horrible plan
Van Hollen: they won’t even cut oil subsidies
Gregory: the Republicans are right of course -
we must end Medicare so are the Democrats going to do it or not?
Van Hollen: Fluffy you are a moron
Gregory: OMG Mitch Daniels isn’t running for President!
Murphy: if Chris Christie doesn’t get in it’s
down to Romney, Pawlenty and Hunstman
Gregory: Could Paul Ryan could be elected President in 2012?
Mitchell: I want access to the drugs
you are on Fluffers
Robinson: it’s all Mitt Romney now
Gregory: this is so sad - who will carry the
message of fiscal discipline and cutting my taxes?
Sorkin: the criminals on Wall Street love Paul Ryan
Murphy: Paul Ryan is the grown-up
bravest man in Washington
Van Hollen: it doesn’t take courage to slash
Medicaid and give free money oil companies
Murphy: you can only prove you’re serious
if you propose something incredibly unpopular
Gregory: Democrats plan to run against
Paul Ryan in 2011 and 2012
Mitchell: both sides are bad and lack courage
except for Paul Ryan - the sexiest man in D.C.
Sorkin: Ryan is so wonderful -
I for one would like to touch the hem of his garment
Robinson: there is one small problem with all
your applause to Paul Ryan’s so-called leadership and courage - actual human beings don’t want
Medicare to be a voucher program
Murphy: the Democrats have shown no courage
on spending or taxes
Van Hollen: that’s not true dipshit - Democrats have
proposed spending cuts and raising taxes
on the rich
Gregory: ooh how about caps on spending?!
Van Hollen: No
Gregory: that’s not what Republicans want
Van Hollen: I don’t care Fluffy -
all they want to do is slash Medicare and Medicaid
Gregory: Is Newt Gingrich finished?
Murphy: he’s an intellectual but basically a jerk
Robinson: Newt Gingrich looked at the polls
and saw that Paul Ryan’s plan is really really really really really unpopular
Gregory: Newt is now going up to random people
and apologizing profusely
Mitchell: it seems like a problem
Van Hollen: can I note that people don’t want to privatize Medicare
Sorkin: it’s the economy stupid
Murphy: if the GOP can stop talking about entitlements and focus on jobs they can win
Robinson: good luck with that
Gregory: Look here is a video of Jon Hunstman buying a gun
Mitchell: he’s adorable but unelectable
Gregory: are you scared of him?
Van Hollen: um no
Gregory: who are you scared of
Van Hollen: zombies and Mitt Romney
Robinson: that’s redundant
Murphy: Michele Bachmann will win Iowa
which is full of crazy people
Gregory: good god
Murphy: that will help Hunstman win New Hampshire
Gregory: Romeny raised a lot of money this week
Mitchell: Whether Vain has run before and that helps
Robinson: look in the end the GOP is going to have a candidate and that person will get 45% of the vote
Gregory: Herman Cain delivered pizza
but can he deliver votes?!
Murphy: that’s funny but ultimately it’s
Mitt Romney’s to lose
Gregory: my twitter feed is trying to draft
Paul Ryan for President
Robinson: that’s genius fluff
Gregory: Obama said a starting point for talks
should be the 1967 Israel borders!
Mitchell: Bibi treated Obama like a schoolboy
in the White House which was a big mistake
Van Hollen: Obama loves Israel!!
Murphy: Obama lost 75,000 votes by suggesting
Florida return to its pre-1805 borders
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
***************************
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Chris Van Hollen (D-MD)
Andrea Mitchell
Eugene Robinson
Andrew Ross Sorkin
Mike Murphy
********************************
Gregory: Mitch Daniels was going to ride
in on a white horse to the White House but he said the women in my life won’t let me President
Audience: we lost Mr. Excitement -
truly the world has ended
Gregory: Mitch Daniels discovered fiscal
discipline after he left the Bush White House
Ryan: it’s a tragedy
Gregory: Paul will you run for President
Ryan: no I need to stay in Congress and
fight for fiscal sanity
Gregory: so you are leaving the door ajar!
Ryan: no I will privatize Medicare or die trying!
Gregory: on this show Gingrich called Paul Ryan’s
plan radical right-wing social engineering
Gingrich: I made a mistake - although to be fair
to me I said it on Meet the Press and assumed
no one would be watching
Gregory: good point
Gingrich: any ad that quotes me directly
is a falsehood
Gregory: Congressman Newt called you a
radical crazy person
Ryan: that is true but only for those few Americans
who are under 55 years old
Gregory: I see
Ryan: under my plan people would get to choose
to deny their money to lazy doctors
Gregory: I see
Ryan: Obama would let 15 bureaucrats
kill old people
Gregory: Is Newt a demagogue?
Ryan: yes - but he’s always been a horrible person
Gregory: so now he’s just trying to seem moderate
Ryan: right
Gregory: a lot of Republicans are afraid to be
seen in the same zip code as you
Ryan: I hate demagogues - did you know if
we don’t privatize Medicare now current seniors
will die slow horrible deaths
Greg: I did not
Ryan: where is the democrats plan to
destroy Medicare?!?
Gregory: has Gingrich handed the 2012
election to Obama?
Ryan: we have to rise above petty politics
and remind everyone that if we don’t slash
Medicare then current retirees will starve to death
Gregory: Newt Gingrich basically ruined any
chance of your plan being enacted -
doesn’t that bother you?
Ryan: who cares what the American people think -
we will create our own reality if we have to
Gregory: good luck with that
Ryan: people will reward me for not scaring seniors -
I just remind that Obama wants all old
people to suffer
Gregory: Is it true that all GOP Presidential
candidates must promise to privatize Medicare?
Ryan: absolutely
Gregory: if your ideas are so necessary how
come everyone is running away from your plan?
Ryan: like who?
Gregory: Michelle Bachmann thinks you’re
crazy and she’s um, crazy
Ryan: look this is very simple - old people will get a
coupon to shop around for health coverage when they’re dying
Gregory: that seems eminently sensible
Ryan: we don’t want to give the government the power to deny health coverage to old people -
we want to give that power to for-profit insurance companies
Gregory: are you willing to negotiate?
Ryan: sure but the Democrats have not put out their own nutty wildly unpopular plan
Gregory: will you vote to raise the
debt ceiling?
Ryan: the GOP realized that spending is
bad since a Democrat became a President
Gregory: so will you make a deal
Ryan: yes as long as Obama cuts spending so much
a Republican can be elected and borrow and spend all over again
Gregory: good luck Paul
[ break ]
Gregory: Chris are we finally going to end Medicare?
Van Hollen: Newt was right -
it is right-wing radical social engineering
Gregory: but Paul Ryan is so wonderful
Van Hollen: they would leave seniors to the
mercy of for-profit companies and soraring costs
Gregory: but Paul Ryan is right -
you Democrats don’t have your own horrible plan
Van Hollen: they won’t even cut oil subsidies
Gregory: the Republicans are right of course -
we must end Medicare so are the Democrats going to do it or not?
Van Hollen: Fluffy you are a moron
Gregory: OMG Mitch Daniels isn’t running for President!
Murphy: if Chris Christie doesn’t get in it’s
down to Romney, Pawlenty and Hunstman
Gregory: Could Paul Ryan could be elected President in 2012?
Mitchell: I want access to the drugs
you are on Fluffers
Robinson: it’s all Mitt Romney now
Gregory: this is so sad - who will carry the
message of fiscal discipline and cutting my taxes?
Sorkin: the criminals on Wall Street love Paul Ryan
Murphy: Paul Ryan is the grown-up
bravest man in Washington
Van Hollen: it doesn’t take courage to slash
Medicaid and give free money oil companies
Murphy: you can only prove you’re serious
if you propose something incredibly unpopular
Gregory: Democrats plan to run against
Paul Ryan in 2011 and 2012
Mitchell: both sides are bad and lack courage
except for Paul Ryan - the sexiest man in D.C.
Sorkin: Ryan is so wonderful -
I for one would like to touch the hem of his garment
Robinson: there is one small problem with all
your applause to Paul Ryan’s so-called leadership and courage - actual human beings don’t want
Medicare to be a voucher program
Murphy: the Democrats have shown no courage
on spending or taxes
Van Hollen: that’s not true dipshit - Democrats have
proposed spending cuts and raising taxes
on the rich
Gregory: ooh how about caps on spending?!
Van Hollen: No
Gregory: that’s not what Republicans want
Van Hollen: I don’t care Fluffy -
all they want to do is slash Medicare and Medicaid
Gregory: Is Newt Gingrich finished?
Murphy: he’s an intellectual but basically a jerk
Robinson: Newt Gingrich looked at the polls
and saw that Paul Ryan’s plan is really really really really really unpopular
Gregory: Newt is now going up to random people
and apologizing profusely
Mitchell: it seems like a problem
Van Hollen: can I note that people don’t want to privatize Medicare
Sorkin: it’s the economy stupid
Murphy: if the GOP can stop talking about entitlements and focus on jobs they can win
Robinson: good luck with that
Gregory: Look here is a video of Jon Hunstman buying a gun
Mitchell: he’s adorable but unelectable
Gregory: are you scared of him?
Van Hollen: um no
Gregory: who are you scared of
Van Hollen: zombies and Mitt Romney
Robinson: that’s redundant
Murphy: Michele Bachmann will win Iowa
which is full of crazy people
Gregory: good god
Murphy: that will help Hunstman win New Hampshire
Gregory: Romeny raised a lot of money this week
Mitchell: Whether Vain has run before and that helps
Robinson: look in the end the GOP is going to have a candidate and that person will get 45% of the vote
Gregory: Herman Cain delivered pizza
but can he deliver votes?!
Murphy: that’s funny but ultimately it’s
Mitt Romney’s to lose
Gregory: my twitter feed is trying to draft
Paul Ryan for President
Robinson: that’s genius fluff
Gregory: Obama said a starting point for talks
should be the 1967 Israel borders!
Mitchell: Bibi treated Obama like a schoolboy
in the White House which was a big mistake
Van Hollen: Obama loves Israel!!
Murphy: Obama lost 75,000 votes by suggesting
Florida return to its pre-1805 borders
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
***************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour -- May 22, 2011
Guests:
George Mitchell
King Abullah II of Jordan
Jake Tapper
Aaron Miller
******************************
Amanpour: holy crap now Mitch Daniels won’t
run for President - will this nightmare of GOP non-candidates never end??
Audience: so sad
Amanpour: Obama set off a firestorm of criticism
by saying peace should be based on Israel borders before 1967
Huckabee: Obama proved he hates America
because he betrayed Israel
Amanpour: Bibi demanded that Obama
endorse the settlements
Amanpour: Israelis suspect Obama may be
more loyal to America than to their country
Audience: ooh
Amanpour: but Obama bashed efforts
to delegitimize Israel
Audience: wow he’s pissing everyone off
Amanpour: George Mitchell does Obama
want to destroy Israel?
Mitchell: no he wants Israel to swap control
of land for security - hell Ehud Olmert endorsed the same plan
Amanpour: then why did Bibi freak out
and smash the White House china
Mitchell: because Palestinians want the
UN to recognize their statehood
Amanpour: can there ever be peace between
the Palestinians and Israel?
Mitchell: hell no - that’s why I quit
Amanpour: Obama wants the settlements stopped and the Arab states to be nice to Israel
Mitchell: Obama wants both sides to give a little and neither side wants to so nothing will ever get done
Amanpour: you’re so much fun to have on
Amanpour: Did the White House know his opponents would act like he wants to destroy Israel?
Tapper: the President is used to people saying he hates America and now they think he hates Israel too
Miller: Bibi took Obama’s speech to mean
he wants Israel to commit suicide
Amanpour: Bibi and Obama don’t
like each other
Tapper: he lecutured the President in front of everyone in the Oval Office - bin Laden and Trump crossed Obama and look what happened to them
Miller: Bibi is very confident that
the peace process is dead
Amanpour: even American friends of
Israel think Bibi is acting like an asshole
Tapper: Bibi is worried that Obama
gave up a key Israel negotiating position
Miller: Israel is worried Obama might
actually make a real peace proposal
Miller: the Arab world is blossoming in democracy -
now is just not the right time to propose peace
Tapper: Hamas is a terror organization
and a key player
[ break ]
Amanpour: King Abdullah what is going on
in the Middle East
Abdullah: it’s a fun time all around
Amanpour: is it a call for freedom?
Abdullah: people really want money and jobs
Amanpour: what about democracy?
Abdullah: guess what - Jordan is having elections!
Amanpour: Americans are scared of democracy in the Middle East and Wisconsin
Abdullah: people in the Middle East only hate America because of the Palestinian problem
Amanpour: you don’t like Netanyahu
Abdullah: he’s a colossal dick
Amanpour: will there be another war
in the Middle East ?
Abdullah: probably - we have one
every 18 months
Amanpour: Hamas are terrorists so we
can’t have negotiations
Abdullah: I wish the Israelis would pick
a position and bloody well stick to it!
Amanpour: oh my
Abdullah: Hamas is not in the Palestinian government - Israel needs to have courage!
Amanpour: How is Bashar al-Assad’s reform movement going
Abdullah: not well Christiane
Amanpour: is Bashar even in charge of
Syria anymore?
Abdullah: he updated his Facebook status to “still President”
Amanpour: well that’s good
Abdullah: once a week I meet with the
unwashed masses in the river Jordan
Amanpour: people say your wife is the
Marie Antoinette of Jordan
Abdullah: that’s just an attempt to
destabilize my government
Amanpour: can she pick her own ministers
Abdullah: this has got to stop -
it’s destroying Jordan!
Amanpour: you were Oprah’s final guest -
what is she like?
Abdullah: no that was Michael Jordan
Amanpour: I am sorry about that
Abdullah: so am I
*******************************
George Mitchell
King Abullah II of Jordan
Jake Tapper
Aaron Miller
******************************
Amanpour: holy crap now Mitch Daniels won’t
run for President - will this nightmare of GOP non-candidates never end??
Audience: so sad
Amanpour: Obama set off a firestorm of criticism
by saying peace should be based on Israel borders before 1967
Huckabee: Obama proved he hates America
because he betrayed Israel
Amanpour: Bibi demanded that Obama
endorse the settlements
Amanpour: Israelis suspect Obama may be
more loyal to America than to their country
Audience: ooh
Amanpour: but Obama bashed efforts
to delegitimize Israel
Audience: wow he’s pissing everyone off
Amanpour: George Mitchell does Obama
want to destroy Israel?
Mitchell: no he wants Israel to swap control
of land for security - hell Ehud Olmert endorsed the same plan
Amanpour: then why did Bibi freak out
and smash the White House china
Mitchell: because Palestinians want the
UN to recognize their statehood
Amanpour: can there ever be peace between
the Palestinians and Israel?
Mitchell: hell no - that’s why I quit
Amanpour: Obama wants the settlements stopped and the Arab states to be nice to Israel
Mitchell: Obama wants both sides to give a little and neither side wants to so nothing will ever get done
Amanpour: you’re so much fun to have on
Amanpour: Did the White House know his opponents would act like he wants to destroy Israel?
Tapper: the President is used to people saying he hates America and now they think he hates Israel too
Miller: Bibi took Obama’s speech to mean
he wants Israel to commit suicide
Amanpour: Bibi and Obama don’t
like each other
Tapper: he lecutured the President in front of everyone in the Oval Office - bin Laden and Trump crossed Obama and look what happened to them
Miller: Bibi is very confident that
the peace process is dead
Amanpour: even American friends of
Israel think Bibi is acting like an asshole
Tapper: Bibi is worried that Obama
gave up a key Israel negotiating position
Miller: Israel is worried Obama might
actually make a real peace proposal
Miller: the Arab world is blossoming in democracy -
now is just not the right time to propose peace
Tapper: Hamas is a terror organization
and a key player
[ break ]
Amanpour: King Abdullah what is going on
in the Middle East
Abdullah: it’s a fun time all around
Amanpour: is it a call for freedom?
Abdullah: people really want money and jobs
Amanpour: what about democracy?
Abdullah: guess what - Jordan is having elections!
Amanpour: Americans are scared of democracy in the Middle East and Wisconsin
Abdullah: people in the Middle East only hate America because of the Palestinian problem
Amanpour: you don’t like Netanyahu
Abdullah: he’s a colossal dick
Amanpour: will there be another war
in the Middle East ?
Abdullah: probably - we have one
every 18 months
Amanpour: Hamas are terrorists so we
can’t have negotiations
Abdullah: I wish the Israelis would pick
a position and bloody well stick to it!
Amanpour: oh my
Abdullah: Hamas is not in the Palestinian government - Israel needs to have courage!
Amanpour: How is Bashar al-Assad’s reform movement going
Abdullah: not well Christiane
Amanpour: is Bashar even in charge of
Syria anymore?
Abdullah: he updated his Facebook status to “still President”
Amanpour: well that’s good
Abdullah: once a week I meet with the
unwashed masses in the river Jordan
Amanpour: people say your wife is the
Marie Antoinette of Jordan
Abdullah: that’s just an attempt to
destabilize my government
Amanpour: can she pick her own ministers
Abdullah: this has got to stop -
it’s destroying Jordan!
Amanpour: you were Oprah’s final guest -
what is she like?
Abdullah: no that was Michael Jordan
Amanpour: I am sorry about that
Abdullah: so am I
*******************************
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Meet the Press - May 15, 2011
Guests:
Newt Gingrich
Helene Cooper
E.J. Dionne
Matt Bai
Peggy Noonan
Mark Halperin
************************
Gregory: do you think Congress should
increase debt ceiling?
Gingrich: we should avoid default if we can -
but don’t give Obama a blank check
Gregory: Newt will you turn Medicare
into a voucher program
Gingrich: I don’t agree with radical social
engineering even from the right
Gregory: well that’s boring
Gingrich: I am also against Medicare fraud
Gregory: you disappoint me Newtie
Gingrich: I am totally not a radical despite
what you may have heard
Gregory: will you raise taxes?
Gingrich: no - people seem to like low taxes
Gregory: but smart economists say we
should raise revenues
Gingrich: yes but that’s just people who
know what they are talking about
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: I can find an extra $125 billion
per year by re-imagining government as a profitable business which I have never run
Gregory: you called Obama
The Food Stamp President
Gingrich: I wrote that line by myself -
but you can use it
Gregory: no thanks - it's lame at best
and could be racist
Gingrich: that’s bizarre - I sir am no a racist
Gregory: what did you mean by that
rather weird statement then?
Gingrich: Obama destroyed Detroit by
not having litigation reform
Gregory: you don’t say
Gingrich: the EPA is trying to control
the entire American economy
Gregory: is that right?
Gingrich: paychecks vs food stamps!
Gregory: In 1993 you supported requiring
people to buy health insurance
Gingrich: yes but we must also have policies
to make libertarians happy
Gregory: like what
Gingrich: Making people post a bond
before giving them CPR
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: most people without health insurance use the money to go on fancy vacations
Gregory: let's switch topics - are we losing
the war on terror?
Gingrich: absolutely
Gregory: but we just got Osama bin Laden
Gingrich: but then Pakistan called the Chinese
Gregory: that’s vaguely scary
Gingrich: George W. Bush was soft on
international terrorism
Gregory: you say Obama is an out-of-touch
anti-colonial Kenyan con artist
Gingrich: yes but a guy with dark skin said it first
Gregory: are you a total lunatic?
Gingrich: maybe
Gregory: do you think Obama hates America?
Gingrich: right - he’s puts the Arab League
and UN before America
Gregory: that’s sounds ludicrous
Gingrich: Obama hides his wily oriental ways well
Gregory: what will it take for you to be elected President apart from a supernatural event
Gingrich: I’m going to have to rein in my
more crazy statements
Gregory: are a just man with terrible ideas or can you actually lead this nation down a path to disaster
Gingrich: my destiny is to lead a movement around reviving the 10th Amendment
Gregory: Tom Coburn arranged illegal payoffs
to John Ensign’s mistress and even he
thinks you’re immoral
Gingrich: I love my children unlike Susan Smith who drowned her kids because of the Democrat party
Gregory: I could listen to you all day
Gingrich: wait til I get going!
Gregory: you’re so patriotic you cheated
on your wife
Gingrich: sure I’m a lout but I also have an endless series of fantastically weird ideas
Gregory: your businesses don’t pay all their taxes
Gingrich: true but we paid some of them
Gregory: will you go after Huckabee voters?
Gingrich: heh I don’t think they will vote for me I’m just a fat white southern conservative
Gregory: will you be like Ronald Reagan -
run on the right, govern from the center,
and send weapons to Iran?
Gingrich: there is no right-wing majority
in this country
Gregory: who’s the front runner?
Gingrich: all those rich guys like Romney,
Huntsman and that reality show host
Gregory: Donald Trump?
Gingrich: or Ryan Seacrest whoever
[ break ]
Gregory: so panel - how about that Newt Gingrich?
Halperin: he’s very underrated and showed
today what a strong candidate he is in my
fevered imagination
Gregory: he still seems to think Obama is un-American
Bai: he’s a very intelligent and thoughtful
mean bastard
Gregory: Newt supports a health insurance mandate and opposes Paul Ryan’s nutty budget plan
Noonan: the new Newt is a good-natured
easy-listening freak
Gregory: do we like the new soft cuddly Newt?
Halperin: he stayed calm today and didn’t
call anyone Hitler
Dionne: he’s a big old bigoted teddy bear
Cooper: it was fascinating to watch him try to restrain himself from comparing Obama to Pol Pot
Gregory: is he old news?
Noonan: 18 year-old voters will find
Newt Gingrich very compelling
Halperin: that what makes Newt so formidable!
Huckabee: God told me to make money
on Fox News
Dionne: Huckabee leaves all the Christian
voters up for grabs
Halperin: also poor people making $95,000
Trump: good luck in Florida grifter!
Dionne: all these GOP candidates are promoting
a book, a tv show or line of clothing for abstinent teen mothers
Gregory: why is no one running against Obama??
Bai: they’re going for the big money
Noonan: they all think they’re going to
lose to Obama and they’re right
Gregory: Mark you have Bachman's odds at
1000 to 1 - why so short?
Halperin: there are many, many things
I don’t know
Romney: I did what I believe was right
for the commies in Massachusetts
Dionne: he might as well embrace Romneycare
since it was pretty good
Gregory: that's so crazy it just might work
Dionne: but GOP primary voters demand
insanity from their candidate
Cooper: the Tea Party was founded on
opposition to the healthcare mandate and the President’s funny religion
Halperin: Luckily Romney doesn’t
have those problems
Gregory: Obama will be defeated because
he can’t control gas prices
Bai: but people still like Obama
Gregory: or unemployment could also
be a deal breaker
Halperin: there are a lot of red states out there
who yearn for the good times of 2008 again
Gregory: what news did Newt make this morning?
Bai: he’s going to run as the candidate of people who think Obama is secret Kenyan muslim witch doctor
Gregory: Lindsay Graham says Obama has to kill Qadaffi to prove he’s not a wimp
Cooper: or he could just invade Pakistan
Halperin: I like it!
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
**********************************
Newt Gingrich
Helene Cooper
E.J. Dionne
Matt Bai
Peggy Noonan
Mark Halperin
************************
Gregory: do you think Congress should
increase debt ceiling?
Gingrich: we should avoid default if we can -
but don’t give Obama a blank check
Gregory: Newt will you turn Medicare
into a voucher program
Gingrich: I don’t agree with radical social
engineering even from the right
Gregory: well that’s boring
Gingrich: I am also against Medicare fraud
Gregory: you disappoint me Newtie
Gingrich: I am totally not a radical despite
what you may have heard
Gregory: will you raise taxes?
Gingrich: no - people seem to like low taxes
Gregory: but smart economists say we
should raise revenues
Gingrich: yes but that’s just people who
know what they are talking about
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: I can find an extra $125 billion
per year by re-imagining government as a profitable business which I have never run
Gregory: you called Obama
The Food Stamp President
Gingrich: I wrote that line by myself -
but you can use it
Gregory: no thanks - it's lame at best
and could be racist
Gingrich: that’s bizarre - I sir am no a racist
Gregory: what did you mean by that
rather weird statement then?
Gingrich: Obama destroyed Detroit by
not having litigation reform
Gregory: you don’t say
Gingrich: the EPA is trying to control
the entire American economy
Gregory: is that right?
Gingrich: paychecks vs food stamps!
Gregory: In 1993 you supported requiring
people to buy health insurance
Gingrich: yes but we must also have policies
to make libertarians happy
Gregory: like what
Gingrich: Making people post a bond
before giving them CPR
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: most people without health insurance use the money to go on fancy vacations
Gregory: let's switch topics - are we losing
the war on terror?
Gingrich: absolutely
Gregory: but we just got Osama bin Laden
Gingrich: but then Pakistan called the Chinese
Gregory: that’s vaguely scary
Gingrich: George W. Bush was soft on
international terrorism
Gregory: you say Obama is an out-of-touch
anti-colonial Kenyan con artist
Gingrich: yes but a guy with dark skin said it first
Gregory: are you a total lunatic?
Gingrich: maybe
Gregory: do you think Obama hates America?
Gingrich: right - he’s puts the Arab League
and UN before America
Gregory: that’s sounds ludicrous
Gingrich: Obama hides his wily oriental ways well
Gregory: what will it take for you to be elected President apart from a supernatural event
Gingrich: I’m going to have to rein in my
more crazy statements
Gregory: are a just man with terrible ideas or can you actually lead this nation down a path to disaster
Gingrich: my destiny is to lead a movement around reviving the 10th Amendment
Gregory: Tom Coburn arranged illegal payoffs
to John Ensign’s mistress and even he
thinks you’re immoral
Gingrich: I love my children unlike Susan Smith who drowned her kids because of the Democrat party
Gregory: I could listen to you all day
Gingrich: wait til I get going!
Gregory: you’re so patriotic you cheated
on your wife
Gingrich: sure I’m a lout but I also have an endless series of fantastically weird ideas
Gregory: your businesses don’t pay all their taxes
Gingrich: true but we paid some of them
Gregory: will you go after Huckabee voters?
Gingrich: heh I don’t think they will vote for me I’m just a fat white southern conservative
Gregory: will you be like Ronald Reagan -
run on the right, govern from the center,
and send weapons to Iran?
Gingrich: there is no right-wing majority
in this country
Gregory: who’s the front runner?
Gingrich: all those rich guys like Romney,
Huntsman and that reality show host
Gregory: Donald Trump?
Gingrich: or Ryan Seacrest whoever
[ break ]
Gregory: so panel - how about that Newt Gingrich?
Halperin: he’s very underrated and showed
today what a strong candidate he is in my
fevered imagination
Gregory: he still seems to think Obama is un-American
Bai: he’s a very intelligent and thoughtful
mean bastard
Gregory: Newt supports a health insurance mandate and opposes Paul Ryan’s nutty budget plan
Noonan: the new Newt is a good-natured
easy-listening freak
Gregory: do we like the new soft cuddly Newt?
Halperin: he stayed calm today and didn’t
call anyone Hitler
Dionne: he’s a big old bigoted teddy bear
Cooper: it was fascinating to watch him try to restrain himself from comparing Obama to Pol Pot
Gregory: is he old news?
Noonan: 18 year-old voters will find
Newt Gingrich very compelling
Halperin: that what makes Newt so formidable!
Huckabee: God told me to make money
on Fox News
Dionne: Huckabee leaves all the Christian
voters up for grabs
Halperin: also poor people making $95,000
Trump: good luck in Florida grifter!
Dionne: all these GOP candidates are promoting
a book, a tv show or line of clothing for abstinent teen mothers
Gregory: why is no one running against Obama??
Bai: they’re going for the big money
Noonan: they all think they’re going to
lose to Obama and they’re right
Gregory: Mark you have Bachman's odds at
1000 to 1 - why so short?
Halperin: there are many, many things
I don’t know
Romney: I did what I believe was right
for the commies in Massachusetts
Dionne: he might as well embrace Romneycare
since it was pretty good
Gregory: that's so crazy it just might work
Dionne: but GOP primary voters demand
insanity from their candidate
Cooper: the Tea Party was founded on
opposition to the healthcare mandate and the President’s funny religion
Halperin: Luckily Romney doesn’t
have those problems
Gregory: Obama will be defeated because
he can’t control gas prices
Bai: but people still like Obama
Gregory: or unemployment could also
be a deal breaker
Halperin: there are a lot of red states out there
who yearn for the good times of 2008 again
Gregory: what news did Newt make this morning?
Bai: he’s going to run as the candidate of people who think Obama is secret Kenyan muslim witch doctor
Gregory: Lindsay Graham says Obama has to kill Qadaffi to prove he’s not a wimp
Cooper: or he could just invade Pakistan
Halperin: I like it!
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
**********************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - May 15, 2011
Guests:
Gov. Nikki Haley (R-SC)
George Will
Cokie Roberts
Shelia Bair
Paul Krugman
Roger Altman
Douglas Holtz-Eakin
****************************
Amanpour: OMG America will be deprived of a
Mike Huckabee Presidency!
Amanpour: Welcome Governor - do you say
hell no to paying America’s debts?
Haley: damn right - there’s chaos in Washington
Amanpour: but default will ruin America’s economy
Haley: so what
Amanpour: what do you think of Newt Gingrich?
Haley: sure he’s a dislikeable lunatic but on the
plus side he hates unions
Amanpour: people dislike him
Haley: that is true but he has many interesting
and insane ideas
Amanpour: Mitt Romney announced he is running against Mitt Romney - can he win?
Haley: I congratulate Romney in his courageous stance against Mitt Romney
Amanpour: How exciting is Mitch Daniels?
Haley: he’s sexy - look I love family values too
but first we must crush the unions
Amanpour: Mitch is so dull he has been married to the same woman twice which seems like a lack of imagination or an ingenious plan to get a lot of gifts
Haley: family values are very important but you
can’t attack a candidate who is not a Democrat for their bad values
Amanpour: but the GOP is all about pretend-christian values
Haley: that was before - now I am warning all candidates no one cares about values anymore
now that none of our candidates have any
Amanpour: Donald Trump has a potty mouth
Haley: Keep that dirty talk in New York
Amanpour: what about Sarah Palin?
Haley: Sarah Palin woke people up who thought government was a big waste of time when she quit being governor after 2 years to become
a full time grifter
Amanpour: will you run for Vice President?
Haley: I would be better than the current crop but no - I’m not crazy!
[ break ]
Amanpour: Why did we lose Huckabee - he would have been so much fun
Will: he was crazy enough to win the nomination
Roberts: that role is now filled by Michelle Bachmann and Newt Gingrich
Walter: Huckabee was not a fiscal conservative because he once raised taxes
Amanpour: Weather Vain is desperately trying to explain RomneyCare
Will: since 2008 he’s flip-flopped on health care, federalism, gay rights, abortion and whether
'Lost' is a great tv show
Roberts: but do Americans want an android for President?
Will: in 2013 the President will be Barack Obama
Tim Pawlenty or Mitch Daniels
[ Obama, at home ] Snort!
Roberts: high-profile people like Mitch Daniels people think Mitch Daniels should run for President
Amanpour: what else makes him a
strong candidate?
Roberts: he cut off funds to Planned Parenthood
Amanpour: that’s good - but his wife from his first and second marriages doesn’t want him to run
Walter: these people all want to be drafted - you have to want to run
Roberts: David Broder said Dolley Madison was ruining Washington with her plebian ice cream
Amanpour: Newt Gingrich admitted he’s a jerk but he likes his grandchildren
Roberts: he went through three wives, three religions and three donuts in the green room
Will: He’s totally incoherent on ethanol Kenya
and Qadaffi
Walter: anyway now Paul Ryan is the one with all the big terrible ideas Republicans love
Amanpour: Did Obama get a bin Laden bounce?
Will: no one cares about catching some stupid terrorist
Roberts: it helps Obama because instead of being seen as dithering and out of touch Obama is
seen as decisive and daring
GOP: oh shit
[ break ]
Amanpour: should we raise the debt ceiling?
Krugman: if Obama gives in on spending cuts in exchange for raising the debt ceiling then the GOP will blackmail him forever
Holtz-Eakin: we must cut Medicare
Amanpour: that is so true
Bair: there’s too much tesosterone in this debate
Amanpour: Pawlenty will fix that
Altman: duh we have to keep borrowing money so we have to raise the limit
Krugman: US debt is the world’s gold standard
- for now
Amanpour: even the Chamber of Commerce think we should raise the debt ceiling
Krugman: talking about cuts in the middle of a debt ceiling debate is just stupid
Holtz: Democrats control the GOP-controlled
House of Representatives
Altman: you’re an idiot
Holtz: 9 out of 10 Americans care deeply about this issue no one knows about
Amanpour: how about raising taxes?
Bair: there’s an idea
Krugman: if you are the only adult in the room and the other side is willing blow the room up that's
a tough position
Amanpour: it seem like a problem
Krugman: we’re not going to eliminate the Great Society just because the GOP is having a tantrum
Altman: Long-term cuts in exchange for raising the ceiling
Krugman: we should not change decades of policy with a ticking time bomb about to go off
Holtz-Eakin: the markets want us to eliminate Medicaid and Medicare
Krugman: sure they do
****************************
May 15 | 9 pm eastern | Virtually Speaking Sundays |
Dahlia Lithwick and Culture of Truth consider U.S. Supreme Court
decisions and inside stories. Listen live and later on Blog Talk Radio.
Gov. Nikki Haley (R-SC)
George Will
Cokie Roberts
Shelia Bair
Paul Krugman
Roger Altman
Douglas Holtz-Eakin
****************************
Amanpour: OMG America will be deprived of a
Mike Huckabee Presidency!
Amanpour: Welcome Governor - do you say
hell no to paying America’s debts?
Haley: damn right - there’s chaos in Washington
Amanpour: but default will ruin America’s economy
Haley: so what
Amanpour: what do you think of Newt Gingrich?
Haley: sure he’s a dislikeable lunatic but on the
plus side he hates unions
Amanpour: people dislike him
Haley: that is true but he has many interesting
and insane ideas
Amanpour: Mitt Romney announced he is running against Mitt Romney - can he win?
Haley: I congratulate Romney in his courageous stance against Mitt Romney
Amanpour: How exciting is Mitch Daniels?
Haley: he’s sexy - look I love family values too
but first we must crush the unions
Amanpour: Mitch is so dull he has been married to the same woman twice which seems like a lack of imagination or an ingenious plan to get a lot of gifts
Haley: family values are very important but you
can’t attack a candidate who is not a Democrat for their bad values
Amanpour: but the GOP is all about pretend-christian values
Haley: that was before - now I am warning all candidates no one cares about values anymore
now that none of our candidates have any
Amanpour: Donald Trump has a potty mouth
Haley: Keep that dirty talk in New York
Amanpour: what about Sarah Palin?
Haley: Sarah Palin woke people up who thought government was a big waste of time when she quit being governor after 2 years to become
a full time grifter
Amanpour: will you run for Vice President?
Haley: I would be better than the current crop but no - I’m not crazy!
[ break ]
Amanpour: Why did we lose Huckabee - he would have been so much fun
Will: he was crazy enough to win the nomination
Roberts: that role is now filled by Michelle Bachmann and Newt Gingrich
Walter: Huckabee was not a fiscal conservative because he once raised taxes
Amanpour: Weather Vain is desperately trying to explain RomneyCare
Will: since 2008 he’s flip-flopped on health care, federalism, gay rights, abortion and whether
'Lost' is a great tv show
Roberts: but do Americans want an android for President?
Will: in 2013 the President will be Barack Obama
Tim Pawlenty or Mitch Daniels
[ Obama, at home ] Snort!
Roberts: high-profile people like Mitch Daniels people think Mitch Daniels should run for President
Amanpour: what else makes him a
strong candidate?
Roberts: he cut off funds to Planned Parenthood
Amanpour: that’s good - but his wife from his first and second marriages doesn’t want him to run
Walter: these people all want to be drafted - you have to want to run
Roberts: David Broder said Dolley Madison was ruining Washington with her plebian ice cream
Amanpour: Newt Gingrich admitted he’s a jerk but he likes his grandchildren
Roberts: he went through three wives, three religions and three donuts in the green room
Will: He’s totally incoherent on ethanol Kenya
and Qadaffi
Walter: anyway now Paul Ryan is the one with all the big terrible ideas Republicans love
Amanpour: Did Obama get a bin Laden bounce?
Will: no one cares about catching some stupid terrorist
Roberts: it helps Obama because instead of being seen as dithering and out of touch Obama is
seen as decisive and daring
GOP: oh shit
[ break ]
Amanpour: should we raise the debt ceiling?
Krugman: if Obama gives in on spending cuts in exchange for raising the debt ceiling then the GOP will blackmail him forever
Holtz-Eakin: we must cut Medicare
Amanpour: that is so true
Bair: there’s too much tesosterone in this debate
Amanpour: Pawlenty will fix that
Altman: duh we have to keep borrowing money so we have to raise the limit
Krugman: US debt is the world’s gold standard
- for now
Amanpour: even the Chamber of Commerce think we should raise the debt ceiling
Krugman: talking about cuts in the middle of a debt ceiling debate is just stupid
Holtz: Democrats control the GOP-controlled
House of Representatives
Altman: you’re an idiot
Holtz: 9 out of 10 Americans care deeply about this issue no one knows about
Amanpour: how about raising taxes?
Bair: there’s an idea
Krugman: if you are the only adult in the room and the other side is willing blow the room up that's
a tough position
Amanpour: it seem like a problem
Krugman: we’re not going to eliminate the Great Society just because the GOP is having a tantrum
Altman: Long-term cuts in exchange for raising the ceiling
Krugman: we should not change decades of policy with a ticking time bomb about to go off
Holtz-Eakin: the markets want us to eliminate Medicaid and Medicare
Krugman: sure they do
****************************
May 15 | 9 pm eastern | Virtually Speaking Sundays |
Dahlia Lithwick and Culture of Truth consider U.S. Supreme Court
decisions and inside stories. Listen live and later on Blog Talk Radio.
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Meet The Press - May 8, 2011
Guests:
Tom Donilon - National Security Advisor
Rudy Giuliani
Michael Chertoff
Michael Hayden
Bob Woodward
Doris Goodwin
Katty Kay
Mike Murphy
*****************************
Gregory: wow look at these tapes the U.S. seized tapes of bin Laden getting an Extreme Makeover
Donilon: we seized his entire VHS collection including all three Karate Kids, Backs to the Future, Red Dawn and The Last Starfighter
Gregory: my god what else
Donilon: we got all his vinyl LPs including the
entire Michael Jackson collection
Gregory: wow even Off The Wall
- was he an operational leader?
Donilon: Michael?
Gregory: no bin Laden
Donilon: probably we’re still sifting through his collection of thumb drives and his 8-tracks
Gregory: will Amtrak be bombed soon?
Donilon: if it is we let non-train riding normal
people know after it happens
Gregory: good
Donilon: this is not the end or the beginning of the end but it’s the start of the middle of the half-way point of the war on terror
Gregory: how terrified should I be?
Donilon: a lot - Katie Couric is a free agent now
Gregory: was this a death blow to al-qaeda?
Donilon: it’s pretty important Fluffy
Gregory: are they leaderless now?
Donilon: it’s like when your CEO is indicted -
you scramble to get a new one
Gregory: what about Ayman al-Zawahiri
Donilon: he takes the big job after the sudden death of the boss but people doubt he can measure up - you must know what that’s like
Gregory: the Bush doctrine was if you feed a terrorist he is fed but if you teach him to fish you are a terrorist - so when do we go to war with Pakistan?
Donilon: is never good for you
Gregory: but members of Congress are fake outraged
Donilon: I just remembered something - I don’t care
Gregory: what if we find out that the Pakistan government knew where bin Laden was all along?
Donilon: I don’t want to answer a hypothetical question
Gregory: that’s not a hypothetical
Donilon: do you know what the word
hypothetical means?
Gregory: um no [ sobs ]
Donilon: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: are we going to war with them or not?
Donilon: more terrorists are caught in Pakistan than anywhere else
Gregory: you didn’t trust them enough to tell about the raid in advance
Donilon: true but we didn’t tell Mueller
or Petraeus either -
Gregory: yeah those guys are real operators
Gregory: Charles Krauthammer says torture
and illegal wiretapping have finally been totally vindicated
Rumsfeld: waterboarding is the best thing ever!
Donilon: I’m not interested in more bullshit from those incompetent assholes
Gregory: did torture help?
Donilon: there were hundreds of sources
of information
Gregory: yes but torture is probably really awesome
Donilon: this isn’t partisan - it’s about how much
the USA rules
Gregory: how is it possible that the details of a s
ecret night-time raid thousands of miles away got confused
Donilon: you’re funny
Gregory: no one seal admitted to killing bin Laden because those guys are a team-oriented gang of stone cold badasses
Donilon: you have no idea Fluffy
[ break ]
Gregory: what are we learning now?
Hayden: we’re creating an encyclopedia on al-qaeda
Gregory: Wikiqaeda?
Hayden: right
Gregory: Mr. Chertoff is it true that you are in fact
still alive?
Chertoff: yes I am
Gregory: if you say so
Gregory: Rudy you were a municipal leader
10 years ago - tell us about your expertise in international terror
Giuliani: it’s faaabulous!
Steve Coll: Al-Qaeda is scary but we should not change our lives over it
Chertoff: now that Osama is dead we will probably see more attacks
Gregory: Didn’t Obama fail by not capturing bin Laden alive?
Hayden: no he didn’t Fluffy
Gregory: can we declare that torture is the best thing of all time
Hayden: that’s ridiculous
Giuliani: waterboarding is like Apple - It Just Works
Gregory: we tortured one guy 183 times and didn’t find out where bin Laden was
Chertoff: I was head of the criminal division on 9/11
Gregory: good job on that by the way
Chertoff: the point is not whether torture works -
the point is that it feels really good
Gregory: did Pakistan tell you who the courier was?
Hayden: no they did not Fluff
Gregory: did they harbor a terrorist?
Hayden: the burden of proof is on them to prove what they did not know
Gregory: I oversaw street cleaning in NYC so I
know all about Pakistan
Gregory: should we leave Afghanistan now that we achieved our goal of going into Afghanistan
Hayden: whoa whoa whoa let’s not rush not occupying another country - terror could go up!
Gregory: should we increase the war on terror?
Hayden: damm right!
Gregory: Obama went to Ground Zero and of course you were there as always
Giuliani: I spied them from Bernie Kerik’s love nest
Gregory: how about that bin Laden killing?
Giuliani: Obama and Bush and America all did an awesome job
Gregory: that’s very non-partisan of you
Giuliani: But Bush is the most awesome for being President on 9/11 without which we never have had to go to another country and kill a guy
Gregory: that is such a good point - will you please run for President?
Giuliani: I am awesome aren’t I
Gregory: you are - you really are!
[ break ]
Gregory: Bob what have learned since nailing Osama?
Woodward: it’s a triumph of middle-management and for my sources who leaked their heroism to me
Gregory: how did they get bin Laden?
Woodward: the courier left the compound to recharge his iPhone
Gregory: damm you steve jobs
Woodward: bin Laden was living in luxury and
raised his middle finger to America
Gregory : Robert Kagan says our President must
kill kill kill
Goodwin: Obama now has huge balls
Murphy: he won the testosterone jackpot
Gregory: oh my
Murphy: we have bin Laden’s Hello Kitty diary!
Gregory: incredibly people support Obama on not releasing photos as usual that shocks me
Kay: graphic photos would never persuade doubters but publishing inflammatory pictures would be stupid and dangerous
Gregory: George Bush would’ve done it
Kay: uh-huh
Gregory: Obama promised in 2008 that he would hunt down and kill bin Laden and he did
Woodward: he has ramped up covert action around the world and has sent a message to al-qaeda - there’s a new cold-blooded bad-ass cobra in the White House and he’s going Vulcan on your ass
Goodwin: Obama Unburdened!
Gregory: can we leave Afghanistan now?
Murphy: even the GOP wants to get the hell out of that mess
Gregory: Obama’s popularity is up but this is obviously a fleeting moment
Murphy: just like the first President Bush Obama will probably be defeated
Kay: but catching bin Laden undermines the idea that Obama is a weak dithering socialist
Gregory: yes but what has Barack Obama done
for us lately?
Woodward: nothing! it’s all downhill from here
Gregory: right
Woodward: People want to know that
‘Obama is out there looking for me’
Gregory: that would make me nervous
Murphy: Bush catching bin Laden puts pressure on Obama
Gregory: Unemployment is still high!
Kay: but Obama is also creating jobs
Woodward: Obama now tingles my happy place
Gregory: bin Laden was an operational leader and in charge of marketing and advertising for al-qaeda
Goodwin: the al-qaeda caveman was a flop
Woodward: Osama bin Laden’s Facebook page had 714 followers in the Pakistani military
Gregory: Rudy Giuliani 2012!
Murphy: that’s pretty ridiculous
Gregory: I’m obsessed with John Huntsman -
he’s so handsome!
Murphy: don’t quit your day job Fluffers
Gregory: I don’t have a day job
Murphy: well whatever you do to draw a paycheck don’t leave
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
*******************************
Tom Donilon - National Security Advisor
Rudy Giuliani
Michael Chertoff
Michael Hayden
Bob Woodward
Doris Goodwin
Katty Kay
Mike Murphy
*****************************
Gregory: wow look at these tapes the U.S. seized tapes of bin Laden getting an Extreme Makeover
Donilon: we seized his entire VHS collection including all three Karate Kids, Backs to the Future, Red Dawn and The Last Starfighter
Gregory: my god what else
Donilon: we got all his vinyl LPs including the
entire Michael Jackson collection
Gregory: wow even Off The Wall
- was he an operational leader?
Donilon: Michael?
Gregory: no bin Laden
Donilon: probably we’re still sifting through his collection of thumb drives and his 8-tracks
Gregory: will Amtrak be bombed soon?
Donilon: if it is we let non-train riding normal
people know after it happens
Gregory: good
Donilon: this is not the end or the beginning of the end but it’s the start of the middle of the half-way point of the war on terror
Gregory: how terrified should I be?
Donilon: a lot - Katie Couric is a free agent now
Gregory: was this a death blow to al-qaeda?
Donilon: it’s pretty important Fluffy
Gregory: are they leaderless now?
Donilon: it’s like when your CEO is indicted -
you scramble to get a new one
Gregory: what about Ayman al-Zawahiri
Donilon: he takes the big job after the sudden death of the boss but people doubt he can measure up - you must know what that’s like
Gregory: the Bush doctrine was if you feed a terrorist he is fed but if you teach him to fish you are a terrorist - so when do we go to war with Pakistan?
Donilon: is never good for you
Gregory: but members of Congress are fake outraged
Donilon: I just remembered something - I don’t care
Gregory: what if we find out that the Pakistan government knew where bin Laden was all along?
Donilon: I don’t want to answer a hypothetical question
Gregory: that’s not a hypothetical
Donilon: do you know what the word
hypothetical means?
Gregory: um no [ sobs ]
Donilon: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: are we going to war with them or not?
Donilon: more terrorists are caught in Pakistan than anywhere else
Gregory: you didn’t trust them enough to tell about the raid in advance
Donilon: true but we didn’t tell Mueller
or Petraeus either -
Gregory: yeah those guys are real operators
Gregory: Charles Krauthammer says torture
and illegal wiretapping have finally been totally vindicated
Rumsfeld: waterboarding is the best thing ever!
Donilon: I’m not interested in more bullshit from those incompetent assholes
Gregory: did torture help?
Donilon: there were hundreds of sources
of information
Gregory: yes but torture is probably really awesome
Donilon: this isn’t partisan - it’s about how much
the USA rules
Gregory: how is it possible that the details of a s
ecret night-time raid thousands of miles away got confused
Donilon: you’re funny
Gregory: no one seal admitted to killing bin Laden because those guys are a team-oriented gang of stone cold badasses
Donilon: you have no idea Fluffy
[ break ]
Gregory: what are we learning now?
Hayden: we’re creating an encyclopedia on al-qaeda
Gregory: Wikiqaeda?
Hayden: right
Gregory: Mr. Chertoff is it true that you are in fact
still alive?
Chertoff: yes I am
Gregory: if you say so
Gregory: Rudy you were a municipal leader
10 years ago - tell us about your expertise in international terror
Giuliani: it’s faaabulous!
Steve Coll: Al-Qaeda is scary but we should not change our lives over it
Chertoff: now that Osama is dead we will probably see more attacks
Gregory: Didn’t Obama fail by not capturing bin Laden alive?
Hayden: no he didn’t Fluffy
Gregory: can we declare that torture is the best thing of all time
Hayden: that’s ridiculous
Giuliani: waterboarding is like Apple - It Just Works
Gregory: we tortured one guy 183 times and didn’t find out where bin Laden was
Chertoff: I was head of the criminal division on 9/11
Gregory: good job on that by the way
Chertoff: the point is not whether torture works -
the point is that it feels really good
Gregory: did Pakistan tell you who the courier was?
Hayden: no they did not Fluff
Gregory: did they harbor a terrorist?
Hayden: the burden of proof is on them to prove what they did not know
Gregory: I oversaw street cleaning in NYC so I
know all about Pakistan
Gregory: should we leave Afghanistan now that we achieved our goal of going into Afghanistan
Hayden: whoa whoa whoa let’s not rush not occupying another country - terror could go up!
Gregory: should we increase the war on terror?
Hayden: damm right!
Gregory: Obama went to Ground Zero and of course you were there as always
Giuliani: I spied them from Bernie Kerik’s love nest
Gregory: how about that bin Laden killing?
Giuliani: Obama and Bush and America all did an awesome job
Gregory: that’s very non-partisan of you
Giuliani: But Bush is the most awesome for being President on 9/11 without which we never have had to go to another country and kill a guy
Gregory: that is such a good point - will you please run for President?
Giuliani: I am awesome aren’t I
Gregory: you are - you really are!
[ break ]
Gregory: Bob what have learned since nailing Osama?
Woodward: it’s a triumph of middle-management and for my sources who leaked their heroism to me
Gregory: how did they get bin Laden?
Woodward: the courier left the compound to recharge his iPhone
Gregory: damm you steve jobs
Woodward: bin Laden was living in luxury and
raised his middle finger to America
Gregory : Robert Kagan says our President must
kill kill kill
Goodwin: Obama now has huge balls
Murphy: he won the testosterone jackpot
Gregory: oh my
Murphy: we have bin Laden’s Hello Kitty diary!
Gregory: incredibly people support Obama on not releasing photos as usual that shocks me
Kay: graphic photos would never persuade doubters but publishing inflammatory pictures would be stupid and dangerous
Gregory: George Bush would’ve done it
Kay: uh-huh
Gregory: Obama promised in 2008 that he would hunt down and kill bin Laden and he did
Woodward: he has ramped up covert action around the world and has sent a message to al-qaeda - there’s a new cold-blooded bad-ass cobra in the White House and he’s going Vulcan on your ass
Goodwin: Obama Unburdened!
Gregory: can we leave Afghanistan now?
Murphy: even the GOP wants to get the hell out of that mess
Gregory: Obama’s popularity is up but this is obviously a fleeting moment
Murphy: just like the first President Bush Obama will probably be defeated
Kay: but catching bin Laden undermines the idea that Obama is a weak dithering socialist
Gregory: yes but what has Barack Obama done
for us lately?
Woodward: nothing! it’s all downhill from here
Gregory: right
Woodward: People want to know that
‘Obama is out there looking for me’
Gregory: that would make me nervous
Murphy: Bush catching bin Laden puts pressure on Obama
Gregory: Unemployment is still high!
Kay: but Obama is also creating jobs
Woodward: Obama now tingles my happy place
Gregory: bin Laden was an operational leader and in charge of marketing and advertising for al-qaeda
Goodwin: the al-qaeda caveman was a flop
Woodward: Osama bin Laden’s Facebook page had 714 followers in the Pakistani military
Gregory: Rudy Giuliani 2012!
Murphy: that’s pretty ridiculous
Gregory: I’m obsessed with John Huntsman -
he’s so handsome!
Murphy: don’t quit your day job Fluffers
Gregory: I don’t have a day job
Murphy: well whatever you do to draw a paycheck don’t leave
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
*******************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - May 8, 2011
Guests:
Tom Donilon - National Security Advisor
Husain Haqqani - Pakistan Amb. to the U.S.
Martha Raddatz
Jake Tapper
Pierre Thomas
*************************
Amanpour: this week the whole world was transfixed by one story - Kate & Wills got hitched - oh the U.S. also got Osama bin Laden!
Raddatz: Osama bin Laden spent the last 5 years watching Dancing With The Stars and using
Just For Men hair coloring
Amanpour: wow
Raddatz: also they got the largest number of
Netflix videos ever seized from a terrorist
Donilon: Our special forces are highly trained to pick up DVDs after blowing people away
Amanpour: were any imminent threats found on thumb drives?
Donilon: I can’t say - but this is the greatest success against al-qaeda since Bush dressed up like Maverick from Top Gun for Halloween
Amanpour: please defend the many failures
of this mission
Donilon: Obama made the big decision to
take out bin Laden and it fucking worked
Amanpour: Bush thinks he deserves all the credit because he tortured people
Donilon: so why didn’t he take Osama out in 2008
Amanpour: well are you going to start
torturing again
Donilon: I’m sitting through this interview aren’t I?
Amanpour: What about poor misjudged
President Bush
Donilon: after he got bin Laden the first person Obama called was George Bush
Amanpour: to congratulate him?
Donilon: to gloat over that incompetent white fucker!
Amanpour: Did the Pakistan government know where bin Laden was?
Donilon: Well he was found living near the capital and he had a Frequent Shopper card at the
Pakistani West Point Costco
Amanpour: that seems like a problem
Donilon: true but more terrorists have been killed in Pakistan than anywhere else
Amanpour: what a relief
Donilon: it’s a start
Amanpour: would you violate Pakistan’s
sovereignty again?
Donilon: hmm let me think - hell fucking yes
Amanpour: Can we leave Afghanistan now?
Donilon: what’s the rush?
[ break ]
Amanpour: Did the Pakistan government know bin Laden was in Pakistan?
Haqqani: we have many has-beens from the 80’s - Osama bin Laden, Victoria Jackson, Carrot Top
Amanpour: well that all looks bad
Haqqani: did some things fall through the cracks? absolutely - what are you going to do?
Amanpour: how is the internal investigation going
Haqqani: heads will roll - I mean that literally
Amanpour: that sounds serious
Haqqani: Obama said we were very helpful
Amanpour: are you torturing Osama’s wives
and children?
Haqqani: man you Americans are really into torture aren’t you
Amanpour: John Yoo ruined us all
Haqqani: well it’s pretty distasteful
Amanpour: will you let us torture them if you won’t?
Haqqani: cripes you’re insatiable
Amanpour: is it ok if the U.S. violates your sovereignty again?
Haqqani: well it makes the Pakistani leaders
look really bad
Amanpour: the U.S. taxpayer is giving you billions in aid - that gives us the right to send in
Special Forces 6 times a year
Haqqani: we’re checking into that
[ break ]
Amanpour: We got bin Laden - should we be more terrified over the threat of terrorism?
Thomas: yes - a mall near you will probably
be shot up
Raddatz: Obama has authorized more drone strikes over Pakistan, Afghanistan, Yemen, and Detroit
Tapper: the White House loves those crazy Pakistanis
Amanpour: but they don’t trust them
Tapper: but we need them to let our CIA contractors go when they kill people
Raddatz: right - they’ve been giving us good information that bin Laden was not in their country
Thomas: but the ISI may have been behind the
Mumbai attack
Tapper: I heard that
Thomas: also the Times Square bomber
was Pakistani
Tapper: other than those they’re great friends
Thomas: Bin Laden’s plan was to get Americans turn on each other and accuse fellow citizens of outrageous nonsense
Amanpour: well that worked out well
Raddatz: Bush wasn’t worried because he was in a cave - turns out Osama had a rocking man-cave
Tapper: the most amazing part of this story is that I didn’t know about it
Raddatz: even the FBI director and Saint Petraeus didn’t know about it
Amanpour: damm Obama can keep a secret
Tapper: he kept America in the dark on where he was born for three years
Raddatz: I was surprised Osama had no security
Amanpour: but he had an acre of pot
Tapper: that explains the roomful of cheetos
Thomas: for the young people of America bin Laden has been the great enemy their whole lives - 9/11 was dagger in the heart of America and Obama just pulled it out
Amanpour: thanks everyone for coming
***********************************
Tom Donilon - National Security Advisor
Husain Haqqani - Pakistan Amb. to the U.S.
Martha Raddatz
Jake Tapper
Pierre Thomas
*************************
Amanpour: this week the whole world was transfixed by one story - Kate & Wills got hitched - oh the U.S. also got Osama bin Laden!
Raddatz: Osama bin Laden spent the last 5 years watching Dancing With The Stars and using
Just For Men hair coloring
Amanpour: wow
Raddatz: also they got the largest number of
Netflix videos ever seized from a terrorist
Donilon: Our special forces are highly trained to pick up DVDs after blowing people away
Amanpour: were any imminent threats found on thumb drives?
Donilon: I can’t say - but this is the greatest success against al-qaeda since Bush dressed up like Maverick from Top Gun for Halloween
Amanpour: please defend the many failures
of this mission
Donilon: Obama made the big decision to
take out bin Laden and it fucking worked
Amanpour: Bush thinks he deserves all the credit because he tortured people
Donilon: so why didn’t he take Osama out in 2008
Amanpour: well are you going to start
torturing again
Donilon: I’m sitting through this interview aren’t I?
Amanpour: What about poor misjudged
President Bush
Donilon: after he got bin Laden the first person Obama called was George Bush
Amanpour: to congratulate him?
Donilon: to gloat over that incompetent white fucker!
Amanpour: Did the Pakistan government know where bin Laden was?
Donilon: Well he was found living near the capital and he had a Frequent Shopper card at the
Pakistani West Point Costco
Amanpour: that seems like a problem
Donilon: true but more terrorists have been killed in Pakistan than anywhere else
Amanpour: what a relief
Donilon: it’s a start
Amanpour: would you violate Pakistan’s
sovereignty again?
Donilon: hmm let me think - hell fucking yes
Amanpour: Can we leave Afghanistan now?
Donilon: what’s the rush?
[ break ]
Amanpour: Did the Pakistan government know bin Laden was in Pakistan?
Haqqani: we have many has-beens from the 80’s - Osama bin Laden, Victoria Jackson, Carrot Top
Amanpour: well that all looks bad
Haqqani: did some things fall through the cracks? absolutely - what are you going to do?
Amanpour: how is the internal investigation going
Haqqani: heads will roll - I mean that literally
Amanpour: that sounds serious
Haqqani: Obama said we were very helpful
Amanpour: are you torturing Osama’s wives
and children?
Haqqani: man you Americans are really into torture aren’t you
Amanpour: John Yoo ruined us all
Haqqani: well it’s pretty distasteful
Amanpour: will you let us torture them if you won’t?
Haqqani: cripes you’re insatiable
Amanpour: is it ok if the U.S. violates your sovereignty again?
Haqqani: well it makes the Pakistani leaders
look really bad
Amanpour: the U.S. taxpayer is giving you billions in aid - that gives us the right to send in
Special Forces 6 times a year
Haqqani: we’re checking into that
[ break ]
Amanpour: We got bin Laden - should we be more terrified over the threat of terrorism?
Thomas: yes - a mall near you will probably
be shot up
Raddatz: Obama has authorized more drone strikes over Pakistan, Afghanistan, Yemen, and Detroit
Tapper: the White House loves those crazy Pakistanis
Amanpour: but they don’t trust them
Tapper: but we need them to let our CIA contractors go when they kill people
Raddatz: right - they’ve been giving us good information that bin Laden was not in their country
Thomas: but the ISI may have been behind the
Mumbai attack
Tapper: I heard that
Thomas: also the Times Square bomber
was Pakistani
Tapper: other than those they’re great friends
Thomas: Bin Laden’s plan was to get Americans turn on each other and accuse fellow citizens of outrageous nonsense
Amanpour: well that worked out well
Raddatz: Bush wasn’t worried because he was in a cave - turns out Osama had a rocking man-cave
Tapper: the most amazing part of this story is that I didn’t know about it
Raddatz: even the FBI director and Saint Petraeus didn’t know about it
Amanpour: damm Obama can keep a secret
Tapper: he kept America in the dark on where he was born for three years
Raddatz: I was surprised Osama had no security
Amanpour: but he had an acre of pot
Tapper: that explains the roomful of cheetos
Thomas: for the young people of America bin Laden has been the great enemy their whole lives - 9/11 was dagger in the heart of America and Obama just pulled it out
Amanpour: thanks everyone for coming
***********************************
Sunday, May 01, 2011
Meet The Press with Marco Rubio - May 1, 2011
May 1, 2011
Guests:
Mayor Mike Bloomberg (I-NYC)
Gov. Bob McDonnell (R-VA)
David Axelrod (White House advisor)
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Seth Meyers
**********************************
Gregory: wow NATO killed Qadaffi’s grandson
and the Pope was beautified
Betsy: Beatified
Gregory: whatever
Gregory: the economy is recovering but people are depressed because unemployment is still high
Bloomberg: corporate profits are high because like people they are learning to make more with less
Gregory: you mean less people
Bloomberg: fewer people
Gregory: ok
Bloomberg: also gas and food prices are high
Gregory: true
Bloomberg: the good is you can get some great housing bargains - a NYC apartment with 500
square feet is now a mere $2 million
Gregory: wow what a deal
Bloomberg: there is a crisis of confidence in the morons and idiots in Washington
Gregory: strong words Mike
Bloomberg: America became a superpower with waves of immigration - we need more people!
Gregory: interesting approach
Bloomberg: we need to pass a law letting large numbers of refugees come here
Gregory: wow
Bloomberg: as long as they agree to live in Detroit
Immigrant: oh shit
Gregory: We have to raise taxes on the middle class!!!
Bloomberg: We have to raise taxes and
cut entitlements
Gregory: bad news all around
Bloomberg: politicians have to act like adults and stop pandering to a bunch of voters
Gregory: Governor how would rate Obama’s response to the tornadoes
McDonnell: Obama and his team have been outstanding and very helpful
Gregory: dammit
McDonnell: Sorry Fluffy
Gregory: the big story this week was a split-screen America of Donald Trump vs. The President of the United States
Obama: he’s a carnival barker
Gregory: where was Obama born David?
Axelrod: the problem is not Donald Trump the problem is idiotic television journalists
Gregory: I see
Bloomberg: if the GOP keeps this nonsense up
they are going to fail
McDonnell: Obama has failed to address George Bush’s debt
Gregory: Obama decided to make this a big issue
Axelrod: no the media did stupid
Gregory: that’s mean
Axelrod: we should talk about how the GOP wants to slash Medicare, education and green energy
Gregory: the blacks were offended by Birthers
Axelrod: all Americans were offended Fluffers
Gregory: so you say
Axelrod: we have big problems in this country
Gregory: Trump is a very important and successful businessman
Bloomberg: he’s an icon of bad taste, weird hair and a terrible tv show
Gregory: how wonderful is Trump?
Bloomberg: instead of asking what we should cut we ask what is the minimum government we need
Gregory: interesting
Bloomberg: the money shouldn’t drive our decisions - we should decide what we want first
Axelrod: that’s what Obama is saying - the social compact must guide our decision-making
Gregory: Governor unemployment is high except under your wonderful leadership
McDonnell: we in Virginia made the tough decision to benefit from a massive flow of money from D.C.
Gregory: Awesome
McDonell: the GOP ran up these debts
Axelrod: you took stimulus money
McDonnell: the American people don’t understand why the government runs up a debt since they
never do
Axelrod: righty-o
Gregory: Obama is unpopular because the President
decides gas prices
Bloomberg: the President has to prove he is not a socialist and supports the private sector economy by controlling gas prices
Gregory: I see
Bloomberg: Banks are scared to make loans because they get criticized
Gregory: oh
Bloomberg: we vilified banks for making bad loans but that’s what we want them to do - run risks and if they fail let the free market take out get bailed out
Gregory: can we beat Obama?
McDonnell: Governors are decisive and fiscal conservatives
Axelrod: like George W. Bush
McDonnell: Obama hates Wall Street
Axelrod: LOL the stock market is at a 10-year high asshole
McDonnell: we need to cut spending!
G: It is thought Obama will spend a $1 billion
on his campaign
Axelrod: It is thought you are a moron
Gregory: Will Democrats prove their purity by renouncing spending
Axelrod: that’s stupid we’re not going fight with one hand
tied behind our back
Gregory: But Dems are all bad people!
Axelrod: zip it Fluffy
Gregory: shouldn’t we stay in Iraq forever
Axelrod: no
Gregory: What’s the deal with the Tea Party
Rubio: the Tea Party is great because they want to cut spending on the other hand they are idiots
Gregory: are you a Tea Party Senator?
Rubio: no because the Tea Party are democrats and morons
Gregory: I’m confused - will you compromise on
Tea Party principles
Rubio: I just learned that compromise is actually a great thing
Gregory: but you voted against the budget compromise
Rubio: I was elected to deliver big solutions
Gregory: so how do you actually get something done
Rubio: we should have solutions to things
Gregory: is not raising the debt ceiling irresponsible?
Rubio: pshaw - a mere technical default is not as
bad a future hypothetical default
Gregory: so default now is necessary to prevent default later
Rubio: even the Democrat party wants to cut spending
Gregory: do you like Ryan plan?
Rubio: in 5 years Medicare will go bankrupt
Gregory: oh
Rubio: the Ryan plan is wonderful because it
saves Medicare
Gregory: actually it dismantles Medicare
Rubio: yes but only for young 54 year-old people
Gregory: Why not cut Medicare for older people?
Rubio: Obamacare cut Medicare to conduct
medical experiments
Gregory: you proposed a private voucher system
Rubio: yes but if you have a better idea for ending Medicare then propose it on Monday
Gregory: please bash Obama for me
Rubio: I’m very sad that Obama has failed to
end Medicare
Gregory: how awful for you
Rubio: America cannot win future wars if we don’t cut spending for health care for old people
Gregory: if the GOP comes to you and ask you be
VP will you say yes
Rubio: I love your hypothetical but no
Gregory: tell me how wonderful Donald Trump is
Rubio: Fluffy join me on Planet Earth
Gregory: but Planet Fluffy-Trump is so nice
Rubio: there are people in caves planning on killing people on Orlando
Gregory: what about Libya?
Rubio: we must take out Saddam
Gregory: what?
Rubio: um Qadaffi - whatever
Gregory: how clear
Rubio: he should leave Iraq - Libya you know
what I mean!
Gregory: thanks for coming Marco
[ break ]
Obama: there’s a vicious rumor that Romney passed universal health care
Audience: lol
Obama: now Donald Trump can get to the bottom of Roswell and who killed Biggie and Tupac!
Gregory: Trump vs Obama is good for comedy
Meyers: that is true
Gregory: where do you get your material?
Meyers: the news
Gregory: do you have an agenda
Meyers: be funny - intentionally, unlike you
***********************************
Guests:
Mayor Mike Bloomberg (I-NYC)
Gov. Bob McDonnell (R-VA)
David Axelrod (White House advisor)
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Seth Meyers
**********************************
Gregory: wow NATO killed Qadaffi’s grandson
and the Pope was beautified
Betsy: Beatified
Gregory: whatever
Gregory: the economy is recovering but people are depressed because unemployment is still high
Bloomberg: corporate profits are high because like people they are learning to make more with less
Gregory: you mean less people
Bloomberg: fewer people
Gregory: ok
Bloomberg: also gas and food prices are high
Gregory: true
Bloomberg: the good is you can get some great housing bargains - a NYC apartment with 500
square feet is now a mere $2 million
Gregory: wow what a deal
Bloomberg: there is a crisis of confidence in the morons and idiots in Washington
Gregory: strong words Mike
Bloomberg: America became a superpower with waves of immigration - we need more people!
Gregory: interesting approach
Bloomberg: we need to pass a law letting large numbers of refugees come here
Gregory: wow
Bloomberg: as long as they agree to live in Detroit
Immigrant: oh shit
Gregory: We have to raise taxes on the middle class!!!
Bloomberg: We have to raise taxes and
cut entitlements
Gregory: bad news all around
Bloomberg: politicians have to act like adults and stop pandering to a bunch of voters
Gregory: Governor how would rate Obama’s response to the tornadoes
McDonnell: Obama and his team have been outstanding and very helpful
Gregory: dammit
McDonnell: Sorry Fluffy
Gregory: the big story this week was a split-screen America of Donald Trump vs. The President of the United States
Obama: he’s a carnival barker
Gregory: where was Obama born David?
Axelrod: the problem is not Donald Trump the problem is idiotic television journalists
Gregory: I see
Bloomberg: if the GOP keeps this nonsense up
they are going to fail
McDonnell: Obama has failed to address George Bush’s debt
Gregory: Obama decided to make this a big issue
Axelrod: no the media did stupid
Gregory: that’s mean
Axelrod: we should talk about how the GOP wants to slash Medicare, education and green energy
Gregory: the blacks were offended by Birthers
Axelrod: all Americans were offended Fluffers
Gregory: so you say
Axelrod: we have big problems in this country
Gregory: Trump is a very important and successful businessman
Bloomberg: he’s an icon of bad taste, weird hair and a terrible tv show
Gregory: how wonderful is Trump?
Bloomberg: instead of asking what we should cut we ask what is the minimum government we need
Gregory: interesting
Bloomberg: the money shouldn’t drive our decisions - we should decide what we want first
Axelrod: that’s what Obama is saying - the social compact must guide our decision-making
Gregory: Governor unemployment is high except under your wonderful leadership
McDonnell: we in Virginia made the tough decision to benefit from a massive flow of money from D.C.
Gregory: Awesome
McDonell: the GOP ran up these debts
Axelrod: you took stimulus money
McDonnell: the American people don’t understand why the government runs up a debt since they
never do
Axelrod: righty-o
Gregory: Obama is unpopular because the President
decides gas prices
Bloomberg: the President has to prove he is not a socialist and supports the private sector economy by controlling gas prices
Gregory: I see
Bloomberg: Banks are scared to make loans because they get criticized
Gregory: oh
Bloomberg: we vilified banks for making bad loans but that’s what we want them to do - run risks and if they fail let the free market take out get bailed out
Gregory: can we beat Obama?
McDonnell: Governors are decisive and fiscal conservatives
Axelrod: like George W. Bush
McDonnell: Obama hates Wall Street
Axelrod: LOL the stock market is at a 10-year high asshole
McDonnell: we need to cut spending!
G: It is thought Obama will spend a $1 billion
on his campaign
Axelrod: It is thought you are a moron
Gregory: Will Democrats prove their purity by renouncing spending
Axelrod: that’s stupid we’re not going fight with one hand
tied behind our back
Gregory: But Dems are all bad people!
Axelrod: zip it Fluffy
Gregory: shouldn’t we stay in Iraq forever
Axelrod: no
Gregory: What’s the deal with the Tea Party
Rubio: the Tea Party is great because they want to cut spending on the other hand they are idiots
Gregory: are you a Tea Party Senator?
Rubio: no because the Tea Party are democrats and morons
Gregory: I’m confused - will you compromise on
Tea Party principles
Rubio: I just learned that compromise is actually a great thing
Gregory: but you voted against the budget compromise
Rubio: I was elected to deliver big solutions
Gregory: so how do you actually get something done
Rubio: we should have solutions to things
Gregory: is not raising the debt ceiling irresponsible?
Rubio: pshaw - a mere technical default is not as
bad a future hypothetical default
Gregory: so default now is necessary to prevent default later
Rubio: even the Democrat party wants to cut spending
Gregory: do you like Ryan plan?
Rubio: in 5 years Medicare will go bankrupt
Gregory: oh
Rubio: the Ryan plan is wonderful because it
saves Medicare
Gregory: actually it dismantles Medicare
Rubio: yes but only for young 54 year-old people
Gregory: Why not cut Medicare for older people?
Rubio: Obamacare cut Medicare to conduct
medical experiments
Gregory: you proposed a private voucher system
Rubio: yes but if you have a better idea for ending Medicare then propose it on Monday
Gregory: please bash Obama for me
Rubio: I’m very sad that Obama has failed to
end Medicare
Gregory: how awful for you
Rubio: America cannot win future wars if we don’t cut spending for health care for old people
Gregory: if the GOP comes to you and ask you be
VP will you say yes
Rubio: I love your hypothetical but no
Gregory: tell me how wonderful Donald Trump is
Rubio: Fluffy join me on Planet Earth
Gregory: but Planet Fluffy-Trump is so nice
Rubio: there are people in caves planning on killing people on Orlando
Gregory: what about Libya?
Rubio: we must take out Saddam
Gregory: what?
Rubio: um Qadaffi - whatever
Gregory: how clear
Rubio: he should leave Iraq - Libya you know
what I mean!
Gregory: thanks for coming Marco
[ break ]
Obama: there’s a vicious rumor that Romney passed universal health care
Audience: lol
Obama: now Donald Trump can get to the bottom of Roswell and who killed Biggie and Tupac!
Gregory: Trump vs Obama is good for comedy
Meyers: that is true
Gregory: where do you get your material?
Meyers: the news
Gregory: do you have an agenda
Meyers: be funny - intentionally, unlike you
***********************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - May 1, 2011
Guests:
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
David Stockman
George Will
Ariana Huffington
Chrystia Freeland
**********************
Amanpour: How’s that war in Libya going
Reporter: well there’s been a lot of killing
Amanpour: Great now let’s go a real battle zone - Wisconsin!
Paul Ryan: Let’s cut taxes for the rich and privatize Medicare!
People: Fuck that shit!
Ryan: the Democrats are trying to scare seniors!
Grassley: yeah it’s not like we’re trying kill grandma!
Ryan: We’re only eliminating Medicare for people under 55!
Audience under-55: uh ok
Ryan: my urgent terrible ideas don’t go into effect
for 10 years
Audience: that burns may potatoes!
Amanpour: Old people would pay an average
of $6,000 more
Audience: yes but the entire system is going
to crash!
Ryan: it’s all unsustainable!
Amanpour: this is going to cost you the election
Ryan: I don’t care
Amanpour: you don’t?
Ryan: in democracy good politicians have to be willing to be widely hated
Boehner: we’re not wedded to the plan we passed through the House of Representatives
Amanpour: the Speaker thinks you’re radioactive
Ryan: yes but I have developed wonk superpowers
Audience: why not tax the rich?!
Ryan: that’s just fairy dust - we have to tax those greedy dying old people
Amanpour: you’re a reverse Robin Hood -
you take from the poor and give to the rich
Ryan: so what?
Amanpour: you don’t feel bad taking away health guarantees for poor old people?
Ryan: we give cash to the poor after we take away their benefits
Amanpour: could you compromise with Obama?
Ryan: I would be willing to serve on a
Death Panel with him
[ break ]
Amanpour: Is cutting Medicare and Medicaid while giving more money to the rich a good idea?
Will: Marco Rubio ran on raising the retirement
age in a state full of old already retired people and he won
Huffington: people care about unemployment and foreclosures
Freeland: No one has the courage to raise taxes on the middle class
Stockman: we are going to have a huge crisis in 2 years and Ryan doesn’t do anything but give massive tax cuts to the rich
Freeland: David could Americans pay more taxes and survive?
Stockman: yes we raised taxes 1% and it worked
Will: everyone hates a consumption tax cause it’s
all taxy and shit
Huffington: All of a sudden Paul Ryan cares about corporate welfare
Amanpour: thanks for coming
*********************************
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
David Stockman
George Will
Ariana Huffington
Chrystia Freeland
**********************
Amanpour: How’s that war in Libya going
Reporter: well there’s been a lot of killing
Amanpour: Great now let’s go a real battle zone - Wisconsin!
Paul Ryan: Let’s cut taxes for the rich and privatize Medicare!
People: Fuck that shit!
Ryan: the Democrats are trying to scare seniors!
Grassley: yeah it’s not like we’re trying kill grandma!
Ryan: We’re only eliminating Medicare for people under 55!
Audience under-55: uh ok
Ryan: my urgent terrible ideas don’t go into effect
for 10 years
Audience: that burns may potatoes!
Amanpour: Old people would pay an average
of $6,000 more
Audience: yes but the entire system is going
to crash!
Ryan: it’s all unsustainable!
Amanpour: this is going to cost you the election
Ryan: I don’t care
Amanpour: you don’t?
Ryan: in democracy good politicians have to be willing to be widely hated
Boehner: we’re not wedded to the plan we passed through the House of Representatives
Amanpour: the Speaker thinks you’re radioactive
Ryan: yes but I have developed wonk superpowers
Audience: why not tax the rich?!
Ryan: that’s just fairy dust - we have to tax those greedy dying old people
Amanpour: you’re a reverse Robin Hood -
you take from the poor and give to the rich
Ryan: so what?
Amanpour: you don’t feel bad taking away health guarantees for poor old people?
Ryan: we give cash to the poor after we take away their benefits
Amanpour: could you compromise with Obama?
Ryan: I would be willing to serve on a
Death Panel with him
[ break ]
Amanpour: Is cutting Medicare and Medicaid while giving more money to the rich a good idea?
Will: Marco Rubio ran on raising the retirement
age in a state full of old already retired people and he won
Huffington: people care about unemployment and foreclosures
Freeland: No one has the courage to raise taxes on the middle class
Stockman: we are going to have a huge crisis in 2 years and Ryan doesn’t do anything but give massive tax cuts to the rich
Freeland: David could Americans pay more taxes and survive?
Stockman: yes we raised taxes 1% and it worked
Will: everyone hates a consumption tax cause it’s
all taxy and shit
Huffington: All of a sudden Paul Ryan cares about corporate welfare
Amanpour: thanks for coming
*********************************
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