Sunday, June 26, 2011

This Week - June 26, 2011

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-SC)
Anita Dunn
Chrysta Freeland
George Will
Amanpour: wow there’s all-time record
flooding in North Dakota - clearly god is angry
that New York legalized gay marriage

Audience: woot

Amanpour: Also Romney and Bachmann
are tied-up in Iowa and the government
will run out of money in August

Amanpour: Mitch will you crash the
world economy because you refuse to
close tax loopholes for rich people?

McConnell: borrow-and-spend politics are bad!

Amanpour: does that include Reagan,
Bush and Bush II?

McConnell: look Democrats and Republicans
agree that people like higher spending
and lower taxes

Amanpour: that is true

McConnell: damm right it is Diane

Amanpour: how about limiting tax
deductions for corporate jets?

McConnell: Christine I have tried to explain
to you that a tax hike like that is just not
possible in Washington DC today

Amanpour: if you say so

McConnell: we must cut entitlements!

Amanpour: going back to those luxury jets-

McConnell: raising taxes on corporate jets
would ruin this otherwise flourishing economy

Amanpour: what else is going on?

McConnell: we must destroy Medicare
in order to save it

Amanpour: what else do you propose?

McConnell: we must do whatever will
impress Moody’s and Standard & Poors

Amanpour: what can actually
pass the Congress?

McConnell: we can agree to cut a
billion dollars from Medicare

Amanpour: what other great ideas
do you have?

McConnell: a Constitutional amendment
to balance the budget

Amanpour: sounds like you’re
making great progress

McConnell: oh sure -
we’re debating all kinds of crazy ideas

Amanpour: could default cause a
worldwide depression?

McConnell: you know what would really
impress worldwide lenders - if we put
all old people on an ice floe

Amanpour: but you voted to cut the
tax break for ethanol

McConnell: Obama is big spender -
we need to be like Reagan and the Bushes
and be really really big spenders!

Amanpour: Jim the GOP has ruled out
tax increases so what can you do?

Clyburn: end tax gifts to rich oil companies -
is not a tax hike it’s closing loopholes!

Amanpour: but those poor oil executives

Clyburn: the GOP also wants to make
Medicaid recipients pay thousands more -
how is that fair?

Amanpour: what if you are on Medicaid
but also have a Gulfstream?

Clyburn: raising taxes has never
been on the table!

Amanpour: why not?

Clyburn: people hate high taxes -
they just want a fair low tax rate

Amanpour: so what’s the solution?

Clyburn: it’s time for the Republicans and
Democrats in Congress to agree that they can’t
accomplish anything and let the President just do it

Amanpour: I see

Clyburn: it’s very bipartisan to shuck all
responsibility and let Obama take all the blame

Amanpour: thanks for coming

[ break ]

Amanpour: George Will can Obama save us all?

Will: the Balanced Budget amendment
will revolutionize America by finally making
raising taxes on rich people impossible

Karl: the elderly will soon start getting
letters that the GOP wants to shut the
government down over tax breaks for
wealthy corporations

Dunn: Obama has the pulpit but he’s not a bully

Amanpour: that much is clear

Dunn: if we default it will be the biggest
disaster for American since Bush was President

Amanpour: oh my

Freeland: liberals like Broadway Theater
and conservatives like Political Theater

Amanpour: makes sense

Freeland: if the US defaults there will be a
global economic crash that will make 2008
look like a gay pride parade

Amanpour: Romney and Bachmann are tied

Will: Rick Perry may fill that hole

Amanpour: what makes Perry so wonderful?

Will: he created jobs like Mitt
but loves non-gay fetuses like Michele

Karl: don’t forget Bachmann is from Iowa

Audience: she was Born This Whey

Dunn: the energy in the GOP is split between
with the Values Wackos and Budget Crazies

Freeland: Jon Huntsmann is an expert
on the Chinese Communist Central Committee

Will: well that should play well in the
Republican primary

Amanpour: thanks for coming everyone